Trump’s Purchase

April 16, 2014

*Written by Shadowstrike*

 

*The story starts off in a boardroom in the Trump Taj Mahal, where Trump and two random unnamed and unimportant people sit, arguing over the evil millionaire’s recent purchase*

Random unimportant person #1: Sir, you cannot just buy them, they aren’t for sale.

Trump: You’re fired, really. I’m DONALD TRUMP, I can buy anything!

Random unimportant person #2: That’s true; he is Donald Trump.

Random unimportant person #1: But–

Trump: No buts. You’re fired. Again. The CIA is mine!

Narrator: At the Code: Island Attackers base, all is–*is shoved out of the way by PBX, closely followed by Rebel, who is pissed off*

Rebel: God damnit PBX, I can see the last cookie, but give me back my freakin’ Coca-Cola, NOW!

PBX: I got it first, you can have this! *tosses a can of Pepsi at Rebel that explodes in mid air from being shook to much*

Rebel: *is hit by the Pepsi* NO, IT BURNS!! I’M BEING MELTED BY ACID!!

GDT: Despite the fact that I would like to be the leader, dude, it’s just Pepsi.

Outlaw: Yeah, I’m going to go find something to eat… *walks away, out the door, but stops when he gets there*

Majin: That’s it, no more beer! Well, maybe just one more. *runs to the kitchen (or wherever they keep food and drinks) and goes to the fridge*

Void: Hey guys, look what I made–What the hell is Rebel doing?

Ghaleon: PBX took the last coke then threw a can of Pepsi at him, which I guess is like acid to him.

Deathtuna: *on the ceiling, fast asleep* Stupid Dynamo…

Outlaw: *at the door* Um, guys, it seems we got a summons notice.

Rebel: *wrestling with PBX for the drink* For what?

Outlaw: It, um, says here that we have to do community service at the Trump Taj Mahal for all the damage we have caused by fighting him.

PBX: WHAT?! TRUMP?! NO, I DON’T WANT TO GO!! *runs around crazily in a circle, even up a wall until he runs into the ceiling and is knocked unconscious*

Rebel: That was convenient.

*Twenty minutes later, the CIA walk into the Trump Taj Mahal (except for PBX, who was dragged)*

GDT: Who the heck was that guy anyways?

Rebel: Huh?

Void: I think he means the guy who randomly appeared in our base, which you got in the way of you and PBX with your morning chases.

Rebel: Oh, right, he’s our personal narrator.

GDT: …What?

Rebel: I bought a narrator to narrate stuff. Only problem is that we only have enough for him to narrate in our base.

GDT: And that’s useful… how?

Rebel: Details, details, GDT. Now, where do we–*falls through a hole*–gooooooooooooooooooooooo…

*All of the others members blink in surprise as holes appear beneath them, which they promptly fall through*

Rebel: *hits the ground and notices a fridge* Uh… where the hell am I?

Trump: *over intercom* Why Magna Centipede, didn’t you know that the notice was a scam? Now, I will torture you all. MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! Your torture is very simple; all you have to do is drink all the Pepsi in that fridge.

Rebel: YOU FIEND!

Trump: Good, now do it.

Rebel: Nevar.

Trump: Fine, I like it this way better. *snaps fingers* *The wall opens up and a cannons pop out. Seconds later they lock on and begin firing*

Rebel: Bullets can’t hurt me! *gets hit* AH, PEPSI!! AH, IT BURNS!! *faints*

*In PBX’s chute*

PBX: Yay! *lands in Trump’s office* Wha??

Trump: You have the easiest torture. You will be my secretary.

PBX: AHH!! RUN AWAY!!

Trump: Fine, have it your way. *a cage falls down and traps PBX, inside the cage, is a desk, a phone and a computer* Now, get to work!

PBX: *grabs the bars and gets shocked*

*In the one holding Outlaw*

Outlaw: WHEE! *lands in the room that has no doors, windows or anything but a few vents* Okay… now what?

Trump: Ah, Outlaw. I think this will be a fitting torture.

*The room starts to fill with water*

Outlaw: Okay, I’m an alligator. I can swim. *touches the water* What? No, not soap!

*Deathtuna lands in a room filled with strategy guides to every game he has ever played*

Deathtuna: Sweet.

Trump: Yes, you can use these… but first. *he activates a tractor beam, pulling the batteries out of his Gameboy* There, now you can use them.

Deathtuna: I’m glad I always have extra batteries. *searches* DAMN IT, THEY’RE IN MY OTHER SHELL!

*GDT falls and hits the ground*

Trump: GDT, your torture is simple. Michael?

Michael Jackson: Come on GDT…

GDT: WHAT?! NO!!

*Ghaleon, Void and Majin’s chutes both end up in the same room, they land in three chairs, which shackle them to where they are and position their heads towards a large screen*

Ghaleon: This is different.

Void: I agree.

Majin: *not drunk* Huh?

*On the screen, Trump appears*

Trump: I didn’t know how to torture you three exactly, so I went with my normal torture. Goodbye. *gets replaced with a Pauly Shore dvd*

Void: We are going to die.

Ghaleon: Yes, we are.

Majin: No, the alcohol had to run out now of all times!

*The torturing of the CIA goes on for days, until…*

Trump: PBX? File this for me now!

PBX: GET AWAY FROM ME!! *gets shocked again*

*The door blows open, and in its wake are the CIA, minus PBX because he was already there and GDT because, well, no one wants to go to Michael Jackson’s house*

Rebel: *is severely burned* Hello, Trump, we’re here to leave. Our community service time is up.

Trump: That was a lie. I did that just to bring you all here to torture you!

Void: YOU BASTARD!

Trump: I guess it is now time for the climatic end-of-story battle.

Ghaleon: Yep.

Trump: Fine. *a giant mech lands in front of him* I guess I should mention that the real CIA now belongs to me. They will terminate you for stealing their initials! Ah, I love a good payback.

Void: …I hate you Trump. That mech looks so cool.

Rebel: Oh, stuff it ya wuss.

*The battle begins. Trump takes off, while Void starts off by trying to web the mech up, but it breaks free. It then fires a laser beam at Ghaleon, but he jumps out off the way, and the wayward beam gets PBX out of his cage. Outlaw charges the mech, but it jumps out of the way, right onto PBX, smashing him. Trump then fires a couple of homing missiles at all of them. The team tries to avoid, but the missiles eventually catch up and explode on all of them and they are all thrown back to the far corner.*

Rebel: Damn it. With that armor, that thing is almost invincible. We have to get rid of it somehow!

PBX: Why don’t we try to throw him out the window?

Void: That might work. From this height, and any attacks we could hit him with on the way down, that might just break that armor. But how?

Ghaleon: I can try to make him move back to the window, and Rebel can wait there, hidden and waiting to ambush it.

Rebel: That could work, except everyone needs to attack. CIA, ATTACK!

*It starts. Rebel slips away and hides by the window, preparing to ambush. The other six try to attack to knock it back, but they have trouble. Outlaw then picks up PBX and throws him with his spikes out. This causes it to jump back to dodge. Before it can land, Ghaleon jump kicks him, causing it land right in front of the window. Rebel, knowing it was time, tosses a Magnet Mine at the legs, causing them to malfunction, and fall out the window. In a last ditch attempt, the mech uses a grapple beam to grab them all and drag them down with him. However, the pilot within cannot dodge the barrage of attacks. When they hit the ground, the mech is destroyed*

Trump: *from the building* Fine, you’ve won today. But I will win next time. NEXT TIME!!

Void: We did it!

Ghaleon: But we lost GDT.

Outlaw: Looks like we need a new Overdrive.

Rebel: *points the mech pilot* You.

Pilot: Me?

Outlaw: Couldn’t be.

Deathtuna: Then who…?

Rebel: …Do you have any experiences with teams?

Pilot: Well, My grandfather was Turboman of the Drastic Measures, so, uh–

Rebel: Grab him.

Narrator: At their base, after laughing at the screams the person made when he was given the ability to turn into Overdrive Ostrich, the team is relaxing…

Outlaw: Newbie, what’s your name, anyway?

Pilot: Shadowstrike…

Void: Whatever newbie–Wait, where did he go?

Shadowstrike: *walks out of the kitchen holding a can of coke* Sweet, the last one!

Rebel: You sonnaofabitch.

Narrator: Rebel starts to beat the living daylights out of Shadowstrike!

Shadowstrike: Master of the damn obvious.

The End

???: Heheheh… And so Donald Trump has also failed. Although he was able to eliminate GDT, it didn’t even matter… Soon, verrry soon… The CIA… shall be DEFEATED!!

Series 2 Prologue

April 8, 2014

*Written by Rebel4000*

Rebel: Hello everyone. Yes, I am talking to you, not that person who is currently staring at me through my window. As you may or may not realize, I am starting this second series off by not doing the usual *It was morning at the Island Attackers island base* crap, mainly because in a prologue I can do whatever the hell I want, like this! *teleports next to Void*

Void: Whoa! How the heck did you do that?

Rebel: A wizard did it, silly Void. *sets his desk on fire and runs out of the lab*

Void: …Damn him. Good thing I planned for such an occasion. *pushes a button and another table comes out of the floor*

Rebel: *Back in his room* So as you can see, I can do whatever I want since none of the other members EVER know what I’m planning to do. Speaking of which! *teleports next to Majin*

Majin: PFFFFGGHHHHH EGGZ.

Rebel: That’s right. Now don’t forget to chase that imaginary mutated beer bottle that only you can see into the city. Oh and be sure to grab the others with you and don’t let them go!

Majin: *runs through a wall*

Rebel: Excellent. *teleports back to his room* Now to where we begin in this little prologue. Just what does Rebel have planned for you kiddies? FAN MAIL! Yes, we here at Island Attackers get many a letter that mainly asks about why everything that we do happens. And, well, I’m just one bored person so I’ve decided to answer a few of these. That’s right! You didn’t get me at all for one whole epilogue so now you’re going to get me FOR ONE WHOLE PROLOGUE INSTEAD! Let’s begin… *tears an envelope open*

: Dear Rebel, Just what exactly happened to Bass after “The Christmas Party?” Did Wily ever get him? From, Andrew.

Rebel: Well Andrew, Wily is a very smart person. He just built himself a time machine and grabbed Bass. Good thing too, he couldn’t kill us even if he was given a rocket launcher that fired nuclear missiles. Next letter!

: Dear Rebel40000, I am rather confused by that one epilogue that you wrote, the second part of “Destroying the Space Time Continuum.” What exactly did Ti-An do to Zero at the end of it? Sincerely, FCI.

Rebel: He pulled a bunch of rocket launchers that could fire nuclear missiles out of his ass and destroyed him, unlike a certain someone that I refuse to mention again. Next!

: Dear CIA, If Bubble Crab is afraid of Donald Trump, then why did he want to infiltrate his fortress and kidnap him in “Frankenploid?” Thanks.

Rebel: …You know I bet this unnamed letter is from that guy who keeps staring at me through my window.

Guy: *Winks*

Rebel: Funny thing is, my room is on the fourth floor of this base.

Guy: *Looks down and falls*

Rebel: N00B! Anyways, to answer this question. This is freaking PBX we’re talking about. You’d have a better chance at figuring out what goes on in some psycho’s mind than his. On to the next letter…

: To whomever it may concern… Just what exactly is the CIA base like? A lot of the action takes place there, but I don’t have a good enough visual. From, FINKRAT28.

Rebel: Interesting question, FINKRAT28, very interesting indeed. But do I really need to answer that? I mean, to me, the only guys who have rather detailed bases are the Mech Maniacs (even though they went through like three of ‘em), the Sinister Six, and Cossack’s Comrades. But I s’pose I could enlighten thee.

*Rebel teleports to a room with a large screen. He then grabs a pointing stick as the screen flashes and reveals a map of the entire base.*

Rebel: Originally when I decided to form the X2 Team, I figured the base where we would all hang out at would be on the island that took place in the game… but not anymore. The island itself is fairly large, with trees strewn about, and it also has it’s own inactive volcano. The difference is that it’s all actually real. None of that metallic crap. Still sound like the original island? WELL STOP. ‘Cause that’s all the similarities. The other differences is that near the edge of the island (the one closest to Megalopolis), is a large tower, where we all live. Think like MM3 for a moment, with the way Wily’s Skull Castle looked. Now just remove the skull and slap an entire paint of blue all over it and now you’re set. There is also a bridge that connects this island with the city. And before I get started on the smaller details, this tower is six stories tall, including a basement!

*The screen flashes again as it changes and Rebel points at the bottom of it.*

Rebel: On the first floor is the entrance, with a elevator leading to the rest of the base. Yeah, we don’t believe in stairs ’cause we’re all too lazy. The garage, or cave that you will, that has our pimpin’ Rescue and Special Operations Van. If it wasn’t for that, this floor wouldn’t get used that much. Now the second floor has the living room where we watch tv, the kitchen, and the dining room. Funny thing is, we never use the dining room.We just eat wherever. The third floor is where Void’s lab is located. It’s a big old lab, in fact the only thing that isn’t his lab is the hallway which connects to the elevator and the door to the lab, and a small room that used to have that old beat up computer which I finally replaced a little while ago. Anyways, I’m certain Void has some cool stuff in that lab of his, but I never really get a chance to look around since he’s in there almost 24/7.

*Once again the screen flashes as it zooms in on the last four floors. Rebel moves his pointing stick down, and lightly taps the fourth floor.*

Rebel: The fourth floor is where all of our rooms are. We sleep, read, or do anything that we like to do so that the other members never get in our business. Of course, while the others use locks on their doors, minus Tuna since he can’t even make it to the bed, I use state of the art technology, so you’re forced to input a password! Har har har. I be verrrry tricky. Next up is the fifth floor, which is where we store all of our junk. So, you’ll mostly find boxes, boxes, and more boxes. Did I also mention boxes? Oh well, onto the sixth floor, which has only one purpose, just like the fifth floor. Some like to call it “The Lookout Room.” I like to call it “The Place Where Nothing Happens.” Seriously, all it has is a telescope and a radar to detect things from a distance… but blah. Since when do we need to lookout anyways?

*For the final time the screen flashes which shows the basement, which strangely enough has two sections. Rebel points to one part.*

Rebel: The deal with the two parts is quite easy to explain, actually. The first part, which I am pointing at right now, is mostly filled with water, and it has the Island Attackers Special Lifesaving Submarine! Yeah, we haven’t used it at all, just like the Lookout Room, but submarines completely own telescopes, no contests. The other part of the basement is everyones favorite… TRAINING COURSE OF DOOM (TCoD)!! Mwahahahah! Yes, that place shall never disappear, and it’s all PBX’s fault ’cause I say it is! As to where this room is… well, I magically added it. Yep. I sure do a good job at explaining this stuff, don’t I? *teleports back to his room* Now it’s time for the next letter. Sure hope it’s easier to answer…

: Dear Rebel40000, Can I join your team? Is there anything I can do? I’M DESPERATE! -jojo4.

Rebel: Sure, you can always be certain that something crazy will happen to the team. I’m actually hoping for some new sla–I mean, members, that don’t mind getting roughed up a bit! Now for the next one. *opens it*

: Dear Mr. Centipede, You’re liable for car insurance!

Rebel: Woo! *sets the letter on fire* I love my lighter. NEXT!

: Rebel, Why do you suck so badly?

Rebel: *Writes GDT’s name at the end of it* lolol, bcuz u suk evn mor!!11one1 *grabs another letter*

: For the members of Code: Island Attackers, Just who are your favorite villains in your eps? My favorite is Donald Trump! From snagemmachine.

Rebel: Well, the other members are busy doing… stuff, but I guess I can I try and guess what they are. Mine is Agile. Don’t know why, but after doing this whole team stuff he’s kinda grown on me. The big loser. PBX’s has to be Donald Trump, I mean, he never shuts up about him. And when he does, he’s saying “Yay!” or some crap like that. Majin… it’s kinda hard, but I’ll just take a shot into the blue and say that one guy, Anti-Majin, is his favorite. I mean, he’s the anti version of himself. C’mon people. I think Outlaw likes Violen the most. Either that or one of the other X-Hunters, but then again he could also like Trump. Tuna… he likes… DYNAMO MAN!! Or was that hate? I forget. Ghaleon is a mystery to me, he doesn’t seem to like or hate anything, though for some reason I’d have to guess at Anti for now. Void, eh, probably Frank, just ’cause he’s a self proclaimed genius who never got his butt handed to him by that monstrosity. GDT likes all of them… to beat up. So obvious right there. So, now I’m going to do the final letter. Hope I can answer it.

: Dear Rebel40000, Who was the mysterious character at the end of the last epilogue in series one? Was it Patches? Sincerely, 32346324.

Rebel: 32346324? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is it some sorta code, calling me a pair of underwear? Oh well… And uh… what are you talking about? Mysterious character? Hahahah. There are no mysterious characters here. No sir. None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Got it? Good. Now shut up about it–*hears the doorbell* Damn it. *teleports and answers it* Yes?

Officer: This is the police.

Rebel: *Slams the door* IT WASN’T ME, I SWEAR!! IT WAS THE LITTLE MAN WITH THE GREEN HAT!!!

Officer: No, no. I wanted to tell you we found your idiotic friends running around disturbing the peace. One of them was insanely drunk and so we had to detain them.

Rebel: *Sighs* Oh good god, and here I thought it was something important. *walks off*

Officer: Uh, sir? Aren’t you going to go get them? …Sir?

The End

Game Over

April 1, 2014

*Written by Rebel4000*

*It was yet another typical morning at the Island Attackers island base… and the action just so happened to be in the living room*

Outlaw: Man, I love this show.

GDT: The tv isn’t even on you idiot.

Outlaw: Exactly.

GDT: …I am surrounded by morons. Speaking of which, where’s our “fearless leader?”

Void: Haven’t seen him for a few days now; hope he’s all right.

Outlaw: Hey, you know what we need for watching movies?

GDT: Outlaw, the tv is off.

Outlaw: We need some good old fashion home cookin’! I’ll be right back.

GDT: Oh no you don’t!! *tackles Outlaw*

Majin: *Walks in, sits down and turns the tv on* Burp.

TV Announcer: We interrupt this program for an important news flash. CRAZY REPLOIDS ARE DESTROYING EVERYTHING IT’S A DISASTOR OMGWTFBBQ. Thank you for your time.

Majin: *Turns the tv off, stands up and walks out* Burp.

Void: …Well that was random.

Ghaleon: So what do you make of that tv announcement?

Void: Nothing much. Reploids go crazy all of time. I’m sure X, Zero and what’s-his-face will save the day anyway.

GDT: Not the usual “Let’s go save the city!” speech?

Void: Not really.

Outlaw: Yay.

GDT: Shut up, that’s PBX’s line! *kicks Outlaw* Speaking of which I haven’t seen him much either.

Ghaleon: If it wasn’t for Majin it would be really boring here.

Deathtuna: Peanut butter… Zzz…

*They all stand still for a few seconds until the wind blows*

Void: I’m gonna have to fix that window. Well, I guess we should do something to let the time pass, so let’s just go and save everyone from terror and hopefully we’ll get some recognition.

*And so the CIA hop into their special van and take off to the city. When they get out they see the entire place is not destroyed but deserted.*

Void: Hello? Hello…? Hello…

GDT: Void, why are saying hello over and over again?

Void: It’s supposed to be an echo. It was supposed to add on to the whole ‘mysteriousness.’

GDT: Well stop it. It’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

Ghaleon: So what do we do now?

Void: We find the culprits behind all of this mess. I suggest that you, Outlaw and Tuna go to the south, while Majin, GDT and myself head north.

Outlaw: Sounds good to me, see you all later.

Majin: Bye frenz!!

*And so the Island Attackers split up. Outlaw, Ghaleon and Tuna all go with one another, until they go into a dark alley.*

Outlaw: Ooh… spooky.

Ghaleon: Stop, this is freaky enough as it is. I swear it’s only ten in the morning yet it’s getting darker and darker.

Deathtuna: Oh, so I’m not the only one… *bumps into someone* Huh? Whozzat?

Serges: Boo.

Deathtuna: Hi.

Serges: No, no, no. You’re supposed to scream now.

Deathtuna: Oh… uh, AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!

*Majin, GDT and Void head to the north, going into city hall for exploration*

Majin: I’m a little teabag, short and baggy, here is by bag! *Throws a purse at GDT*

GDT: *Get clunked on the head* Jesus, what the Hell is in that thing?

Majin: TEABAGS!!

GDT: Whatever… so what are we doing here again?

Void: We need to find out who’s behind all of this. Since City Hall is one of the first places anyone who wants to destroy would attack first, it would be the best place to start by checking the security cameras.

GDT: Oh my God.

Void: What?

GDT: *Sarcastic* That is such a brilliant idea, Void! I mean, heaven forbid that the villain would actually let himself be filmed while committing such horrible crimes of absolutely nothing!

Majin: Silly moth, gdt is for kids. *munches on a dog biscuit*

Void: …

GDT: Seriously, I thought crazy Reploids were destroying everything. The only “crime” I’ve seen is that everyone and their grandma has disappeared.

Void: And that doesn’t raise suspicion?

GDT: Not at all.

Majin: Who am I again?

??? #1: Your mom!

Majin: Oh… *passes out*

Void: Who said that?

??? #2: Quiet you idiot!

??? #1: But I don’t wanna!

GDT: …Great. They just had to be here.

??? #2: Uh… no! This is all just a dream… Whoo~!

Void: *opens a door to find Agile and Violen*

Agile: Oh crap.

GDT: Grr, SONIC SLICER!!

Violen: Onoes run away!

*Quickly transforming, GDT fires a couple of slicers at the X-Hunters, which Violen responds to by knocking down the wall in back and taking off, followed by Agile who was a shaken by the events. Void, grabbing Majin, follows suit and transforms and the two chase after the criminals. They continue to run/fly until they see the two stop in front of a building with Serges and the rest of the members there.*

Outlaw: Hey guys.

Void: What’s going on?

Ghaleon: Oh, you see, we ran into Serges and then we chased after him until we ended up here. We’re still trying to understand what’s going on though.

Serges: Heh heh, all in good time, all in good time. First we’ve got something we need to show you! Violen, bring it out!

Violen: ‘Kayo! *pulls out a blanket* Here ya go buddy.

Serges: *Smacks Violen* Stupid, stupid, stupid! The thing that was under the blanket!

Violen: Ow… okay. *drags PBX out*

PBX: Hi guys!

Void: You captured PBX?

Serges: Yes! And with his capture will mark the beginning of your demise!

GDT: Not like we care. Rebel will probably just replace him if he dies.

Agile: *Grins* But where is Rebel?

Void, GDT, Deathtuna, Ghaleon, Majin, PBX, and Outlaw: Uh…

Serges: Rebel is at some sort of convention dealing with business that he felt none of you would care about.

GDT: Bastard!

Ghaleon: Why wouldn’t he tell us about it?

Serges: …I just said that he felt none of you would care about it. Don’t you listen?

Deathtuna: Hey I listen…

Serges: And that’s why you should–hey, don’t fall asleep on me!

Void: What I don’t get is how you three would find this out.

Agile: We got info on it. Living on the streets can do that to you.

Violen: Word dawg.

Void: Please explain this info.

Agile: Sure. It seems like it was only yesterday… Actually, it was…

*Everything goes back in time, a few months back in fact, and the X-Hunters were in their latest base: a front-end loader.*

Agile: HEY VIOLEN HURRY UP OR WE’LL EAT ALL OF THE PIZZA!!

Violen: Waah! No, I wanna have the pizza!

Serges: Hmm…

Agile: TOO LATE!! *shoves the last slice in his mouth*

Violen: No… it can’t be… I want pizza…

Agile: Oh, get over it you big baby. There’s always next time.

Serges: Hmm…

Violen: Yeah, but, but, but! We never get pizza like that! Only the ones found in the garbage cans! This time we actually stole it! And I think you ate every slice, too!

Agile: What?! Are you accusing me of being greedy?

Violen: Yes–*sees saber*–I mean no.

Serges: HMM…

Agile: What do you keep on humming for?

Serges: Oh, nothing except that we’ve hit an all time low in villainy…

Agile: Eh?

Serges: It means we suck, Agile.

Agile and Violen: No!

Serges: Yes. As soon as we started picking fights with the Island Attackers we’ve been getting worse and worse… it’s only a matter of time before we hit rock bottom.

Violen: But I thought sleeping in a dumpster was rock bot–*sees saber*–I mean… yeah.

Serges: What happened to us? We’re the X-Hunters! We should be striking fear into the hearts of the innocent! Not getting peanuts thrown at us by little children!

???: That’s because you all suck ass!

X-Hunters: Huh?

Patches: The name is Patches o’ Houlihan, the greatest dodgeball player around, and I’m going to teach you idiots how to win!

Agile: That’s… great. But we’re not here to play dodgeball. We’re here to–

Patches: I know what you do! You go around getting peanuts thrown at you by little gay children, that’s what! Well, everyone knows that the same training for dodgeball is used in the same way for fighting.

Serges: Really now?

Patches: Yes, you ugly old pile of shit.

Serges: Say–

Patches: No time, we have to get you fags busy!

Violen: When do we start, mister?

Patches: We start tomorrow, and for Pete’s sake, lose some damn weight you pig.

Violen: *Cries*

*Day One*

Patches: Okay ladies, it goes like this: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. Or in your case a giant energy ball of mass destruction.

Agile: Wait… you’re not going to throw those things at us, are you?

Patches: No. I was going to do something else. *jams a wrench in Agile’s eye*

Agile: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!! *runs off a cliff*

Serges and Violen: *Sweats*

Patches: Stop looking over there all weird you faggots! He’s probably dead, but no one really gives a damn about him anyway.

Serges: *Raises hand* Uh, Patches sir? Do we really need this training?

Patches: Of course you do! I mean, do I ‘need’ to go and moon little girls?

Serges: Well, no…

Patches: Of course not. But I do it anyways because I like the sound they make when they see my wrinkled ass.

Serges: …Wait, come again?

*Day Five*

Patches: Today I’m going to go easy on you ladies since I think you’re doing a pretty good job so far.

Violen: Really?!

Patches: No. What, did you honestly think I’d let slackers like you guys get it easy? Now climb to the top of that skyscraper using your teeth in twenty minutes or I’ll start pelting wrenches at you.

Agile: Are you going to come with us?

Patches: Are you that stupid? I’m not the one who has to go from sucking ass to kicking ass! I’m taking the elevator.

Agile: Mother–*gets hit by a wrench*

*Day Thirty-Two*

Patches: If you can dodge traffic you can dodge a ball! *knocks Violen into the street*

Violen: *Gets hit by a truck*

Patches: Aw, what’s the matter? Do you want me to kiss your boo-boos?

Violen: Please?

Patches: Yeah right, fag. You’ll be lucky enough for Mr. Girly-Man to even look at you.

Agile: Hey! I–*gets hit by a bulldozer*

Serges: *runs away*

Patches: Get back here and let me throw you into that traffic!

*Day One Hundred and Twelve*

Violen: *Asleep* Zzz… ‘splainin’ to do… No, not fired…

Patches: *With a loudspeaker* WAKE UP IT’S TIME TO SMELL THE PAIN FATSO!!

Violen: *Cries*

*Day One Hundred and Forty-Five*

Patches: Well, I guess I should congratulate you all on a job well done…

Agile: Yeah… I guess we should say thanks… I guess…

Serges: *To Agile* Though I still think we’ll get our butts handed to us…

Patches: As long as you remember the training I gave you, you’ll be sure to beat those Island Attackers!

Agile: Wait, how do you know about the Island Attackers?

Patches: I know everything! Now stop asking me so many stupid questions!

Violen: But what about I Love Lucy…

Patches: Screw those dead people! Now for the game plan. Huddle!

X-Hunters: *Huddles around Patches*

Patches: *Whispers* Okay, so this is how it will go. Their leader, Rebel, left for a convention, and he won’t be coming back for a whole week, and they don’t even know about it! Since Girly-Man is weak against him, it would be a good chance to strike. Also, PBX will be coming to the city on that today to buy more cookies. Since he holds the slobs weakness, it would be a good idea to ambush and capture him.

Violen: Capture? Don’t we want to kill?

Patches: Of course not you retarded monkey! If you capture him you can use him like a shield. Now, next I will cause a riot to cause hell to break loose, thus making everyone in the city to evacuate. The CIA will be sure to come to investigate and that will be your chance to destroy them once and for all! Do you understand?!

X-Hunters: Sir, yes, sir!

Patches: Now, I’m going to be honest with you boys. If you somehow fuck this up you will more than likely be labeled the worst villains in history, and the chances of you ever making a comeback will be slim to none.

Agile: *Sighs* Of course. We’re used to that.

Patches: Good! Now get out their and win one for the team!

*Everything goes forward, until we see the Island Attackers and X-Hunters ready for battle*

Agile: And there you have it. Today we thought about it, and we realized that with some motivation we can win this!

GDT: Heh, aren’t you a little nervous Serges? After all, I’m still here and I can easily beat you.

Serges: Which is exactly why I am using your little crab friend as a shield. Would you honestly try and hurt him? Could even you go that low?

GDT: Guess we’ll just have to find out.

PBX: Yay!

Void: Crap. GDT, don’t hurt PBX! We need to somehow get him free, and then attack.

GDT: Oh come on! Look at him! Freaking metal was melted on to him make him a part of Serges floating platform! How are we going to get him free!?

Agile: Enough talk! Island Attackers… it is time to finally die!!

*Agile charges at GDT, hitting him in the gut with his saber and causing him to fly into a nearby building, knocking it down. Serges then pulls out a vast amount of weapons under his cloak and fires non stop at all of the members feets, making them jump. Violen takes this as a sign and swings his head forward, making the mace attached to his head to swing out and crash inbetween Ghaleon and Tuna, and then jerk it to the right to hit Ghal and knock him into Outlaw. Deciding not to waste time, Void flew behind Serges and inspects PBX’s current conditon.*

Void: Not good. It would take days to get him out of here. Weeks even.

PBX: Heehee! This metal tickles!

Serges: Hmm? *spots Void* Just what do you think you’re doing?

Void: Uh-oh.

Serges: *Jumps and rapid fires*

Void: *Flies out of the way*

Serges: Curses!

GDT: SONIC SLICER!!

Serges: Yikes! *blocks with the shield* That’s pretty gutsy of you GDT. You could have hit PBX you know.

GDT: I don’t care! I’m here to just fight and beat you to a pulp!

*Taking off and full blast, GDT does a little hop and kicks the platform, causing both Serges and PBX to go crashing to the ground. Serges then gets up and pulls out an arm cannon and fires a laser, hitting GDT in the shoulder, making him stop and clutch it in pain. Violen, who wasn’t fighting anyone in particular, swings his mace at him and clobbers him upside the head.*

Violen: Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!

GDT: Damn it…

Agile: Hah, good job team! you guys handle GDT and Void, and I’ll take care of the others…

Ghaleon: All by yourself?

Agile: Yes. I don’t see what the problem is in that.

Outlaw: Well, we do beat in people.

Agile: I don’t care! I’ll take you all on!

Deathtuna: Crystal Hunter!

Majin: Strike Chain!

Agile: *Dodges*

Outlaw: Spin Wheel!

Agile: Good God! *slices the wheel*

Ghaleon: I don’t really want to do this but… *gets in front of Agile and fires a Speed Burner*

Agile: AAAHHHHHHHHHHH MY FACE IS ON FIRE!!! *runs around screaming*

Violen: I’ll help you buddy! *swings mace into Ghaleon*

Ghaleon: Oof!

*The two sides continue battling, with neither side showing any signs of stopping. Then, in a last attempt, Agile and Serges whistle at Violen and they drop to the ground, and Violen swings his mace around and around, hitting all of the Island Attackers. The members fall, not being able to take the abuse of Violen’s mace any longer. When he stops, the X-Hunters gather around them, throwing PBX’s body on the pile.*

Agile: All to easy… to think we’ve been humiliated by the likes of you.

Serges: For not being able to exploit our weaknesses, you were no match for us. I have even proven that you can have a weakness and still win! Shows how great you fools really are.

GDT: *Growls* Serges… you…

Violen: Well, what should do now?

Agile: Now? Uh… I’m not sure.

Serges: …You aren’t? Are you really that stupid?

Agile: Well, we’ve never been in a winning position, now have we?!

Violen: Hey guys what are we going to do if Rebel comes back?

Agile and Serges: Who cares about that idiot!

Outlaw: I have to say that recently I’ve been finding ourselves in this position more than I’d like.

Agile: Quiet! I know what… to do! You will die… now… Ugh… I feel strange… *falls apart*

Serges: What the heck?! What just happened?

Void: …Now’s our chance!

GDT: Way ahead of ya! *hits Serges with a Sonic Slicer*

Serges: *Falls down* ARGH!! How did this happen?! Violen!

Violen: Right!

Void: *Lifts PBX up* Use your Bubble Splash!

PBX: Huh?

Majin: Make purty bubbles!

PBX: Bubbles are purty! *blows some at Violen*

Violen: No, not the bubbles! *cowers*

Serges: This is pathetic! Look at you! You’re a giant Reploid yet you’re scared of some–*gets knee’d* Ow… This… this isn’t fair… We were winning… *collapses*

GDT: And that is that. Hope you’re happy, loser. Now for Violen.

Violen: Nooo! I don’t wanna go back, I don’t wanna go back!

*Later, at the Island Attackers base*

Outlaw: What a boring day. The X-Hunters really need to get a life and stop trying to attack us.

GDT: I’ll say.

Ghaleon: Well, good news out of this I suppose is that we found out what happened to Rebel.

Majin: funi lady?

Ghaleon: Yes, the funny lady.

Majin: Hee. *farts*

Everyone else: God! *covers their noses*

Void: *Walking away* I need to go to the lab and get PBX out of that platform… glad that everything is back to normal though.

*Elsewhere, outside of Megalopolis, a figure is standing on a cliff by himself*

???: I must admit, if I hadn’t messed with Agile’s systems to breakdown at that set time, the X-Hunters probably could have defeated the Island Attackers. Since the X-Hunters have now lost yet again however, they will more than likely never return to the status that they had once worked so hard to achieve. And with them out of the way, it will only increase my chances of destroying the Island Attackers personally. Oh yes, this is just the first step in my plan… soon the world shall know me by one name, and tremble in fear by it… Heh heh heh… hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah!!

The End

Training Bad

March 25, 2014

*Written by Rebel4000*

 

*It was another quiet morning at the Island Attackers island base. Breakfast was already over with, and the various members were off doing… whatever pleased them best*

Rebel: *Humming* Can’t wait to sink my teeth into a nice, refreshing can of coke. Yes sir, nothing in the whole wide world beats it. *opens the fridge * Come here my li’l… Eh?

*Rebel comes to what seems to be no coke. All he sees are cans of beer*

Rebel: My… my… *growls* WHERE THE HECK ARE MY CANS OF COKE!?

Majin: You a funny lady.

Rebel: …Come again?

Majin: I said–hiccup! You a fuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnny lady!!

Rebel: That’s what I thought.

*Rebel sticks Majin’s hand in a blender and turns it on*

Majin: Hee! Dat tickles! *Smacks Rebel with the blender*

Rebel: *Flies through the wall* Ow.

GDT: OWNED!!

PBX: Yay for owning stuff!

Rebel: Will you two just shut up and get me outta THIS WALL?!

*After getting Rebel free… the other members besides Majin decide to have a little heart-to-heart talk*

Ghaleon: So what are we going to talk about today?

Void: Drinking, and–

Rebel: WHY IT IS BAD FOR YOU.

Void: …Well said, Rebel.

Outlaw: Now Rebel, I’d just like to let you know that the stuff I eat only smells like beer. It’s not the real deal…

Rebel: I know. We’re talking about someone else here.

Outlaw: Oh thank God… *gets stares* I mean, yeah. Drinking is bad, mmmkay?

Rebel: *Ignoring Outlaw* Who I’m talking about today is none other than GDT!

GDT: What?!

Rebel: Don’t try and deny it! I know it was you who threw away all of my coke and then replaced it with beer! Especially since you love to get drunk!

GDT: That’s only at parties you nimrod.

Rebel: …So you plan on throwing a party when we’re not around, is that it?!

GDT: *Smacks himself*

Void: Rebel… I think you know who really did it.

Rebel: Who?

*Everyone looks outside to see Majin in a ballerina skirt, and smashing his head into a nearby tree, laughing hysterically*

Void: …You seriously don’t know?

Rebel: *Thinks*

Ghaleon: Come on, he’s big and green, and loves the stuff.

Rebel: So Outlaw WAS behind it! That fiend!!

Outlaw: *Throws a can he had away* What’chu talkin’ ’bout Rebel?

Rebel: That you’ve been getting beer from the beer lord, GDT!

GDT: God, shut up about it already!

PBX: Tasty!

Rebel: Oho! So PBX finally comes clean!

Everyone else: *Sighs*

Rebel: Wait wait! I see it now! YOU’RE ALL IN ON THIS! Well, no more Mr. Nice Rebel!

Void: Since when have you been nice?

Rebel: All the time! Except now! You’re all getting punished for your crimes!

Deathtuna: Does it involve sleeping?

Rebel: No.

Deathtuna: Damn…

Rebel: You will all come with me through the “Training Course of Doom!” Also known as TCoD.

*Everyone looks at each other before bursting into laughter*

GDT: Hah! Where the heck did you get that from?

Void: Yeah, there’s not even a training course here, much less a “Training Course of Doom.”

Rebel: You shall refer to it as TCoD!

Void: Fine, TCoD.

Rebel: I changed my mind. You will call it the “Training Course of Doom!” Now PBX, go pull the lever that I told you could never touch.

PBX: *Blinks*

Rebel: Pull it and you’ll get a cookie.

PBX: Yay cookie! *pulls a lever*

*Everyone fall through a trap floor and goes down what appears to be a huge slide. At the bottom they land on an old spring mattress*

Ghaleon: Whoa, where are we?

Rebel: You are in… “THE TRAINING COURSE OF DOOM!” MWAHAHAHAHAH!!!

GDT: Wait, how come we never knew about this?!

Rebel: Because PBX dug it with a spoon. Why the heck would you all care anyways?

GDT: Good point.

Void: So… What do we do in this “Training Course of Doom,” exactly?

Rebel: IT’S TCOD FOOL!

Void: *Sigh* TCoD, then.

Rebel: You really need to make up your mind Void. It’s one or the other, sheesh.

Void: Just answer the question!

Rebel: Okay, fine. No need to be so grumpy. *clears throat* Here is where I’ll sit down, sip a Vanilla Coke or two, and watch you all get your asses whooped. Any questions?

Outlaw: Yeah, could you dumb that down a bit?

Rebel: ‘Kay. *clears throat again* 0MG L3IK J00 W1LL 4LL D13Z3RZ!!1one1

Outlaw: All right, I get it now.

GDT: Bring it on!

*Rebel pushes a random button, causing metal bars to zigzag in-between both him and the other members. He then promptly sits down and pulls out a can of Vanilla Coke. Then a randomly generated Reploid appears*

Zero: Oh, dude. Where am I now?

Rebel: Ready… FIGHT!

Zero: Huh? Hey, I know you guys! What’s up? Wanna go hang or something?

GDT: …GET HIM!!

*Everyone dog piles and rips Zero apart*

Zero: *Just a head* Whoa! Did I do something to upset you dudes?

Void: Yes. *blows the head up*

Ghaleon: I still get nightmares from that trip back in time. *shudders*

Outlaw: Yeah, too bad that guy will be back tomorrow.

Deathtuna: Are we done yet…?

Rebel: Nope, it’s only just begun.

*Rebel pushes the button again, this time what appears to be a giant Mechaniloid. With one look, Void’s eyes turn into dinner plates*

Void: It’s… beautiful… *hugs it’s left leg* I almost want to cry…

Outlaw: I just hate seeing a grown Reploid cry…

PBX: *Starts crying*

GDT: Bah, please spare me.

Deathtuna: I’m getting *yawn*… tired… Don’t mind if I do…

Ghaleon: Hey you can’t fall asleep yet! We have to fight!

Mechaniloid: Fool!

Void: *Let’s go* Huh?

Mechaniloid: I am Sigma!

Everyone else: …

Sigma: SIGMA!!

Void: Sigma who?

Sigma: Huh?

Outlaw: You know, are you Sigma Alpha, Sigma Omega…

Sigma: Um, I think I’m just Sigma Sigma…

PBX: Like Mario Mario!

Sigma: Yeah!

Void: Well congrats, Mr. Sigma! Now if you’ll please step into that incinerator over there we’d be very happy.

Sigma: Well sure! I’d be–hey… Wouldn’t that hurt?

GDT: Of course not, fool. By doing that, you’d be… uh…

Ghaleon: Preventing HIV from spreading!

Sigma: Oh then I’ll do it! *Runs into the incinerator*

Void: (Wow, what an idiot. HIV can only spread… well, I won’t be thinking about that, now.)

Rebel: I can’t believe you actually beat him that easily.

PBX: Mr. Sigma isn’t that bright! Heehee!

Sigma: *Behind Rebel* Somebody say something about me?

Rebel: HOLY CRAP! *Gets rid of the barrier and jumps in with the others* I thought you were dead!

Sigma: I got better.

PBX: Hey Mr. Sigma?

Sigma: Yeees?

PBX: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie-pop?

Sigma: One hundred and forty-nine licks.

PBX: Damn, you’re good. *gives the evil eye*

Sigma: *Grabs PBX and throws him into the back wall*

Rebel: Enough of this! Island Attackers, attack!

*And so a huge battle ensues between the good guys and the bad guy. Void fires multiple Silk Shot, but just for them to bounce off and hit the other members. Rebel uses a Magnet Mine, only for it to also bounce off and hit him back. Outlaw retaliates with a Spine Wheel, but they explode on contact, causing Deathtuna to hide in his shell, which makes him fall asleep. Sigma treats him like a soccer ball and kicks him at Ghaleon, deflecting the Speed Burner and crashing right into him. PBX, in the meantime, had pried himself out of the wall, and blew some bubbles, which were blown back and blinded GDT, causing his Sonic Slicers to hit Void and Wheel, KO’ing them. Sigma then grabs PBX yet again throws him into Tuna, who woke back up and stuck his head out, to be greeted by the hyperactive crab. Sigma then takes his two mounted shoulder cannons and points them at the fallen heroes*

Sigma: *Laughs* You are all much to weak to defeat me! Now, prepare to be destroyed!!

PBX: (Good thing I’m an insomniac, or I would have been knocked out by now! I wonder what’s for dinner…) *shakes head* No! I need to save everyone!

Void: It’s no use PBX… just save yourself…

GDT: Don’t listen to him, he’s crazy!

Rebel: PBX, I swear if you run I will haunt you…

Sigma: Too late, buddy! Particle Cannons will fire in twenty seconds, taking this entire base with it!

Ghaleon: Are you crazy? You’ll die, too!

Sigma: I’ve been through worse. Now… ten seconds left… nine…

PBX: Wait! I’ve got an idea! Yay for me! *takes a deep breath* MAJIN~! MAAAAJIN~! C’MERE, BOY~!

*Outside*

Mailman: Agh get away! *wacks Majin with his bag*

Majin: Grr… *Hears PBX* Ruff! Ruff! *Leaves*

Mailman: …I need a new job.

*In the “Training Course of Doom”*

Sigma: Six… five… four… three…

Ghaleon: I just want to say that I will miss you guys.

Outlaw: Same here. I just know that you guys loved my cooking so much. I wish I could give you all another helping.

Rebel: (Hm, maybe this is a blessing after all.)

Sigma: Two…

Majin: RUFF! *hits Sigma in the face with a chain*

Sigma: NOT THE FACE, NOT THE FACE!!

*Sigma, trying to the chain off of him, lifts his arms upward, and fires the cannons in that direction. After firing, Majin let’s go, and Sigma stares up at the sky, via the whole he created through the ceiling*

PBX: Yay! Majin! *pets* Good boy…

Deathtuna: *Wakes up* Are we dead…

Ghaleon: No, PBX and Majin saved us.

Deathtuna: You’re kidding me, right?

Void: I wish we were. This is a sad day indeed.

Rebel: Be quiet you. *looks at Majin* Since when was Majin a dog?

GDT: REBEL! MAJIN IS THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN DRINKING! GOD!

Rebel: Okay that’s cool.

Outlaw: …You’re not pissed?

Rebel: Nah, why should I be?

Void: *Angry* Rebel…

Rebel: Not now Void! We still have company!

Sigma: Damn straight you still have company! I’m gonna keel haul you!

Deathtuna: Too bad for you… you’re finished…

Sigma: Why do you say that?

Everyone else: *Points up*

Sigma: Huh?

*Sigma looks up, and gets blasted by the lasers fired from his particle cannons*

Sigma: OH GOD IT BURNS!!

Void: *Scratches his head* Yeah, that was kind of convenient that our personal satellite was capable of not only deflecting lasers, but also happened to be there at that certain time.

Rebel: I love that satellite… We don’t ever need to pay for cable thanks to it.

Ghaleon: Uh, guys? Shouldn’t we back away now?

GDT: Why the heck would you say–

Sigma: *Explodes*

GDT: Oh…

*Later that day… we see all the members in Void’s lab, covered in bandages. They all give out a big sigh*

Majin: I swear I take a nap and World War Three has broken out.

Deathtuna: That’s not all you were doing… *gets tapped* Huh… what is it PBX?

PBX: Heehee, that big boom may have melted my legs off, BUT I’LL BE BACK!!

Deathtuna: All right. Until then… I’m going to… take… a na… Zzzz…

Ghaleon: So how long do you think we’ll be in this condition, Dr. Darkheart?

Void: Please, call me Void.

Ghaleon: Okay, Void.

Void: …Actually, I think I like Dr. Darkheart more. What do you think, Rebel?

Rebel: *Covered head-to-toe* FFFFHHHHH!! MMMMGGGG!!

Void: *Ignores* Well, after I finish taping my wings back on… a week or so.

Ghaleon: Cool.

GDT: Grr, a whole week of doing nothing. And it’s all Rebel’s fault!

Rebel: MMMMM!!!

GDT: *Grinning* What was that…?

Outlaw: I think he said, “Shut up, I’m going to kill you.”

GDT: …

The End

This Ain’t DBZ!

March 18, 2014

*Written by Rebel4000*

*It is early morning at the Island Attackers base, with all the members except Ti-An in the kitchen patiently waiting for food…*

Rebel: Deathtuna, where’s my breakfast?!

Deathtuna: Zzz–huwhat? Oh yeah, yeah… Burner Man go cook the… eggszzz…… *slams his head on the stove*

Rebel: Damn it all!

Void: *Reading the paper* Nice job. Only you would think of making Tuna cook food for us.

Rebel: That guy is lazy about everything he does! It’s “Zzz” this, or “Snore” that! He needs to be more active, like me!

GDT: *Bursts out laughing*

Rebel: What?!

GDT: Heh, you? Active? Do tell.

Rebel: You know, GoodDoggy Treat, I think it’s about time we made some changes around here.

Ghaleon: Changes? What do you mean?

Rebel: I mean someone around here has got to go! And I’ll be damned if it’ll be me, just because the dog food wants to start something with me!

GDT: *Sneers*

PBX: *Giggles*

Rebel: Damn it, PBX! There you go, ruining the moment!

PBX: Yay!

*Rebel smacks his head, then turns around and goes up stairs. Right after, Outlaw opens his mouth and pulls out a half-rotten dog*

Outlaw: Hm, with some seasoning, this outta make a pretty damn good breakfast. What do you guys think? *Notices everyone running out of the room, save Tuna* Uh… guys, what’s wrong?

*Elsewhere…*

Rebel: *Smiling* (Welp, looks like today is the day I get to KICK A TEAM MEMBER OFF! I’ve been waiting for this day for so long, I almost want to cry. Now who should it be? PBX, and his stupidity? GDT, and his know-it-all self? Outlaw and his smell? Ghaleon with the questions? Void with him going against everything I do? Perhaps Tuna and his laziness. We could do with just much more active members. MAYBE ALL OF THEM? Or maybe…) *Enters Ti-An’s room* Ti-An? Yoohoo? I’ve got a big pile of GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE for you. Damn Godmodder.

*The room is empty. All that is left is a peice of paper on a vacant bed.*

Rebel: *Reads the note* Holy… Grr, Tiiiiiiii-Aaaaaaaaan… *turns on the intercom* Everyone, get in Ti-An’s room for team meeting! NO EXCUSES OR I’LL DOCK YOUR PAY!!

Void: *Comes in reading the paper* What pay?

Rebel: Quiet you! Just read this!

Void: *Reads the note* Wow. That’s a lot.

*Everyone comes in shortly after. Rebel paces back and forth as he is forced to reveal the news*

Rebel: Seems that Ti-An left us.

GDT: Yes! No more annoying Godmodder! Thank you!

Rebel: Only thing is that he left us a bill.

GDT: Woo–wait, what?

Ghaleon: A bill? How much?

Void: Nothing to impressive, just $14,937.

PBX: Oh, good. For a second there I thought it was going to be something we couldn’t pay.

*Everyone stares at PBX*

PBX: Go PBX! Go PBX! It’s your birthday! It’s your birthday!

Outlaw: So what do you suggest we do?

Rebel: First we kill PBX for being a complete dumbass about everything.

GDT: Woohoo!

Void: No, we can’t do that.

GDT: Aw.

Ghaleon: We need to find Ti-An and get him to pay this bill?

Void: Bingo.

Rebel: Great idea, but you guys forget–I’m the leader. We’ll do this my way.

Void: *Sighs* Okay, Rebel. How do you want to do this?

Rebel: Simple. We go to town, find Ti-An, get him to pay this bill, and then we beat the living daylights out of both him and PBX.

GDT: Woohoo!

Deathtuna: Do we have to…

Void: Unfortunately, if I were to say no, Rebel and GDT would probably not listen.

Deathtuna: Aw…

Rebel: Enough talking. We’re off to the city!

*Hopping into their awsome pimp van, they drove off into the city… with Rebel behind the wheel.*

Rebel: *Hits an old lady*

PBX: Ooh! Look at all the blood and guts on the windshield! *Laughs hysterically*

Outlaw: I’m suddenly scared.

Rebel: Don’t worry, I’m just warming up.

*They get out of the blood-covered bus in the middle of the city, and search by splitting up*

Ghaleon: Excuse me, have you seen a green sponge with chains dangling on his body pass this way?

Kid: AHH FREAK GET AWAY!!

GDT: Idiot! Ti-An has probably transformed like us!

Ghaleon: Oh yeah… Well, you can try if you want.

GDT: Yeah, yeah… Hey kid. Have you seen a guy who’s dressed up like he’s from the Matrix around here?

Kid: AHH FREAK GET AWAY!!

GDT: *Punches the kid in the face*

*Elsewhere*

PBX: Hey, Tuna. Do you think maybe Ti-An jumped off this cliff that just so happens to be right next to town?

Deathtuna: Flying fish… breezy cheese *snorts* zzz….

PBX: I bet he could survive… But we gotta make sure. *Rolls Tuna off the cliff*

*And somewhere else*

Rebel: Hey Ti-An! Get over here so we can beat you up, boy!

Void: Wow, he’s really going to come out for that, Rebel.

Rebel: Shush.

Void: Well, with PBX and Tuna checking the outskirts, Ghaleon and GDT asking questions, Outlaw checking the sewer system, and us just doing whatever, we’ll probably find him.

Rebel: We’d better. Or I’ll be forced to kill someone el–

KABLAM!!

Bank Teller: Help, he’s stolen our money and he’s getting away! That fiend, I just knew he was up to something coming in here like he was in the Matrix or something!

Rebel and Void: Ti-An!!

*The two chase after the robber into a dark alley and come to a dead end. Annoyed and frustrated, Rebel kicks a trash can, causing it to go flying.*

Void: Strange. I didn’t know Ti-An could fly or make incredibly high jumps…

Rebel: …He’s a Godmodding reploid who looks like he’s from the Matrix. Hello?

*A figure then steps out of the shadows, with purple bat-like wings and black hair with grey and purple armor.*

???: Oh, what a bother. I get tired of being compared to the Matrix. I don’t even look like I’m from it.

Rebel: Huh? Who’s there!

???: Oh, yes. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is… ANTI-MAJIN!!

*Lightning strikes, babies cry, the sun smiles*

Void: …I didn’t know the sun could do that.

Anti-Majin: Damn sun, getting in the way with my uber-cool entrance. I smite thee!

Rebel: Right… hey, maybe you can help us. Have you seen a guy who looks like he really did come out of the Matrix? You know, wears sunglasses, a black, leather trench coat, wears all black really.

Anti-Majin: Uh…

Void: Is a total Godmodder about everything.

Anti-Majin: Oh yeah. He came by and went right through the wall. Real freaky.

Rebel: Damn, we’ll never catch him now!

*The robotic anti-creature then places his hand on the wall and sends a shockwave through it, knocking it down.*

Rebel: *Eyes bulging* Wow, thanks.

Void: *Speechless*

Anti-Majin: Yeah, yeah. Now get out of here before I decide to kill you two.

Rebel: Y-yeah… Let’s go Void. *Grabs Void and slowly walks off*

*A few minutes pass before Anti-Majin smiles to himself and takes to the skies with his wings. He lands on the rooftop and grabs a bag full of cash*

Anti-Majin: Heheh… suckers.

*In another part of town, Outlaw wasn’t having much luck.*

Outlaw: Nope, not even in the sewers. Of course, I don’t blame him for not being there. It was all… clean. *shudders*

Hobo: ‘Scuse me sir, do ya have some money for some bread and cheese?!

Outlaw: No. Now get away from me.

Hobo: Aw, but I woulda traded ya sumtin’ good for it.

Outlaw: *Curious* Oh? What?

Hobo: I found teh strangiest time-teller thingy ever! It transforms, ya see! *Turns into a guy from the Matrix*

Outlaw: *Hysterical* Here’s a mutated cat!

Hobo: Can I eat it?

Outlaw: You bet you can!

Hobo: Gimme! *Takes the cat and runs*

Outlaw: Hey! Come back with the watch!

*Chasing after the hobo, Outlaw comes to a stop when he finds a certain sponge’s body sitting down. The hobo was in a dumpster, playing with both the cat and the watch*

Hobo: Found him, I did I did. Kitty fun to play with!

Outlaw: Oh god. He’s dead.

Hobo: It wasn’t me! *Jumps out of the dumpster* Don’ be blamin’ it on me, sonny! You never take me alive, ’cause his mind left him and floated away!

Outlaw: What do you mean?

Hobo: I may be a drunk, but I see it be wit’ my eyes! Sittin’ down, and this thingy leaves and takes off! So I took the watch! To borrow and trade with heeeeeheehawhaw!!

Outlaw: So his mind left. Wierd.

*Suddenly a wall nearby goes down, and GDT and Ghaleon appear*

Ghaleon: Wow, what a ride.

Outlaw: What are you guys doing? You’re destroying public property!

GDT: Aw, can it. Some guy we met did it for us.

Hobo: Did it, says him! But where is be the truth?! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…

GDT: Who is that?

Outlaw: Oh yeah, guys, I’d like you to meet Mr…. uh, well I guess you can call him hobo.

Hobo: Hobo Baggins! That be what teh dead guy over yonder saidy, a doodah, doodah!

Ghaleon: *Notices the sponge* Holy crap, he’s dead!

Hobo: Dead, but yet not! In a parallel universe, is he. Floating around doing stuff! *Gets in GDT’s face* But you knowins, he coulda been caught by de utter me.

GDT: *Pushes the hobo away* What other me?!

Hobo: Teh me dat go bump in da night! VROOOOOOM!!! *Takes off running*

Outlaw: Quick! Follow that hobo! *Leaves*

GDT: You’re joking.

Ghaleon: He’s wierd, but he seems to know something that we don’t. *Follows*

GDT: *Sighs* Am I the only one in this group who is actually normal? *Chases after*

*We go back to PBX and Tuna, falling down cliffs and more cliffs…*

PBX: Whee!! *Bangs head on a rock* Heehee!

Deathtuna: Spin around and around and around and around… *Stops* Huh? *Looks up*

Anti-Majin: Well, well. What do we have here? The heroes, trying to stop my plans?!

Deathtuna: Um, yeah sure… okay…

Anti-Majin: Fools! *Lifts Tuna up* I WILL KILL YOU!!

PBX: Bubble Splash!

Anti-Majin: Ow! Why you…!

*Anti-Majin chases after PBX near the entrance of the town, only to run into the two parties that is Rebel and Void, and Outlaw, GDT, Ghaleon and the hobo*

Hobo: There! There be me twice! I told ya I was crazy not!

GDT: All I see is someone to be beat up. *Cracks knuckles*

Anti-Majin: *Laughs* Ah, I see. More friends, which means more heroes! And I see that you were all working together!

Void: Wait, what do you mean, “more heroes?”

Hobo: Anti-Majin is eeveel! Never trust ta EEVEEL!! Only trust ta GOOD Majin, me! *Rips off the hobo outfit* You’ll be goin’ down, today!

Anti-Majin: It’s… you… Great.

*Majin charges at Anti-Majin and punches him directly in the face, causing him to stumble back.*

Rebel: Okay, will someone please explain to me what exactly is going on?!

Majin: After I saw your friend, the sponge, I hid myself.

GDT: You mean he didn’t transform?!

Majin: *Nods* Yeah, but Anti-Majin showed up and drove out his memory, making him a “ghost,” sort to speak. I hid out and decided to disguise myslef as a hobo. Had a couple of beers to get the act right. *burps*

Void: And you framed Ti-An with that robbery?! That’s pretty low!

Majin: Actually, Ti-An did commit a robbery, right before you guys showed up. That’s why Anti-Majin attacked him. So he could steal the money he stole and commit his own crime, and frame Ti-An for that one as well.

Ghaleon: So what happened to Ti-An?

Majin: Probably trapped somewhere, waiting for a new reploid body to be built so he can enter it. Isn’t that right, Anti-Majin?

Anti-Majin: Yeah, and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling reploids and that nice me. But I’ll still take the money!!

*It is at that time that Anti-Majin notices that the money is encased in a block of crystal. Deathtuna yawns sheepishly.*

Anti-Majin: NOOO!! MY MONEY!!!

*Anti-Majin points one hand upward and creates a giant energyball. It grows larger and larger in mass until it was bigger the Megalopolis itself!*

Void: So… any ideas to stop this thing, Rebel?

Rebel: *Hiding behind Void* TAKE HIM!! Just don’t hurt me…

Anti-Majin: Bwahahahahah!! Fool, you will all die! Every single one of you!

Majin: WAAAAAIT!

Anti-Majin: What?!

Majin: If you kill all of us, you’ll lose your job since there won’t be anyone left to stop you!

Anti-Majin: Dang it all. You’re right. *Pulls the energy back* I guess I’ll let you go today… Until I can find a loop in that rule! *Flies off*

Deathtuna: Yawn… so, it looks like we won and managed to get the money back, huh?

Outlaw: …

Void: …

PBX: …

Majin: …

GDT: …

Ghaleon: …

Rebel: …Quick. Get the money and let’s go.

Majin: But I’m a hero. I can’t just–

Rebel: NO TIME FOR WASTIN’!!

Majin: *Throws the crystalized bag into the van*

Void: Rebel, I don’t think–

Rebel: QUIET, MONEY IS OURS!!!

*Everyone including Majin gets in the van and they drive off back to the base. They don’t say anything until the following morning*

Outlaw: So what are we going to do about Ti-An?

Rebel: Whaddya mean?!

Ghaleon: Well, we only have seven members. We need one more.

Rebel: Can’t we just say, “Oh well” and move on?

Everyone else: Rebel!

Rebel: Okay, fine. So any suggestions on who should replace Ti-An?

Deathtuna: Zzzzzzzz… make Majin a member… zzzzZzzzzzzzz…

Void: Well, I planned for such an occasion. *Pulls out a box with eight watches* These watches are like ours, except they transform into our former Maverick selves.

PBX: Cool! So I can become Crab… *Turns the watch on* And Crab! Yay for me!

Rebel: Yeah sure, why not. Anti-Majin will be sure to come by someday and try to kill us. We can use him as a shield.

GDT: Yeah, a bodygaurd along with over $30,000! Can’t get better than that…

Majin: *Comes down stairs* Oh, hey guys! You’ll never guess what I found. A bill charging over $10,000! I figured it was probably a burden, so I payed it off with the money you guys stole!

Rebel: *Eye twitches* You what?

Majin: Yeah… I figured you’d like that.

Void: Rebel, relax.

GDT: Yeah, we still have 20,000 plus!

Majin: Heh… well, you see… I figured, since the rest was also stolen, I could give it to charity! So, I did.

GDT: …KILL HIM!!

*GDT and Rebel, despite the other members efforts, advance on Majin, with evil intentions in mind.*

Majin: Huh? What’d I do? Um… help?

Rebel: Shut up… this’ll be over soon enough…

The End

TV Turmoil pt. 2

March 10, 2014

*Written by Outlaw88*

*The moment Agile walks through the door he is handed a football.*

Agile: Huh? *is tackled by an entire football team*

Referee: *Blows the whistle*

Agile: Ouch…

Referee: You didn’t run. You need to when I hand you the ball.

Agile: What?! Why?

Referee: How else will they get running practice?

Agile: But…

*The ref blows the whistle and gives Agile the ball. The team rushes at him.*

Agile: AHHHH! *Takes off running* There has to be a way out of here. Ah, there’s a door!

*Agile reaches the door but before he goes in he tosses the football at the ref who is stupid enough to catch it. The team tackles the ref.*

Agile: Hah! Serves you right for messing with a X-Hunter. Now to find the control roo–woahhh!!

*Agile slips and slides on ice as he steps through the door. He finally gets his balance.*

Agile: Please let this be figure skating. *is hit with a puck* Why me?

*He tries to run but ice isn’t good for that. He is bashed around a few times by the hockey players until one hits him so hard with his stick he is sent across the room through another door*

Agile: Now I know how the puck feels. Hmmm, I’m in a ring. It must be boxing! I can do that, with my superior speed I can out punch anyone!

*Just then Strong Bad and Strong Mad show up.*

Agile: Hah! Pro-wrestling? Piece of cake. It’s all fake anyway right?

Strong Mad: RAHHHHH!

Strong Bad: What the crap? I think it’s time you learned the ropes. Heh.

*The Brothers Strong proceed to beat up, pile-drive, clothesline, and suplex Agile. A few power bombs later Agile crawls through the exit which leads through a green field.*

Agile: Whoever said wrestling is fake has never been choke-slammed through two tables and had a steel chair cracked on their head. Now where am I? *gets hit in the head with a golf ball*

Tiger Woods: Fore!

Agile: A little late there Tiger.

Tiger: Wow, you look awful. What happened to you?

Agile: I ran into a nasty tag-team. Can you help me? I’m looking for the control room for this studio.

Tiger: Sure! *sets up Agile for his uber swing*

Agile: NO! Not like tha–*WHACK*–AAAAAAAAAAAAT!

*Agile is hit so hard not only does he reach the door he goes through it. Splintering the wood and sending debris everywhere.*

Agile: Medic! Reploid down! Ohhh, this is going to be a long crawl.

*When Bubble Crab went through the door he chose he emerged upon a large laboratory. Filled with machines of all shapes and sizes as well as bottles of chemicals everywhere he looked.*

Crab: Wow, Moth would love this place. I wonder what these buttons do? Ohhh shiny red button!

*Before he could press it a little red-headed kid with glasses jumps up out of nowhere.*

Kid: Stop! Don’t touch that!

Crab: Who are you?

Dexter: I am Dexter–boy genius. Creator of all you see here. Who are you?

Crab: I’m Bubble Crab–insomniac. Sayer of stupid stuff.

Dexter: Insomniac huh? I have a potion that makes you sleep.

Crab: You do? Really? Can I have it?

*Just then Deedee enters and starts to break stuff.*

Dexter: Tell you what. Get my stupid sister out of here and I’ll give you the sleep potion.

Crab: Sounds like a good deal to me. Hey Deedee, stop!

*Crab chases Deedee all over the place occasionally firing a few bubbles to try and slow her down. Both cause lots of damage.*

Crab: Deedee c’mere. I got some leftover cookies.

Deedee: Cookies? Yay!

Crab: That’s my line.

*Crab gives her a cookie. While she eats it he puts her in a bubble. He then kicks it out of the lab into the house where she floats up to the ceiling fan.*

Dexter: Thank you Crab but… You did more damage than Deedee!!

Crab: But I did get rid of her. A deal is a deal.

Dexter: *Sigh* Alright. *hands Crab the potion*

Crab: *Puts it in his pocket*

Dexter: Now… GET OUT OF MY LABORATORY!

Crab: Okie-dokie.

*Crab exits through a hole in the wall that he created. He finds himself on a grassy plain. A lake is the only visable difference.*

Crab: I don’t see anything here. I wonder if this is the show where we watch grass grow? I also wonder why I’m talking to myself.

*Goku appears*

Goku: Your evil stops here!

Crab: What evil?

Goku: Don’t play dumb.

Crab: I wish I wasn’t….

Goku: Fess up. You know what you did!

Crab: Ok, ok I admit it. I was the one who smeared grape jelly on all of Magna’s ninja stuff, messed up Flame’s Lunar game, prank called Ozzy Osborne from Moth’s phone, ate Overdrive’s ham sandwich, broke Gator’s CD player, put itching powder in Snail’s shell, and added super extreme hot sauce in Sponge’s water. I can’t help it. At two A.M. stuff like that seems fun.

Goku: You’re even worse than I thought. I’m going Super Sayian now.

*Goku begins to power up. Crab gets ready. Several minutes go by.*

Crab: You done yet?

Goku: This usually takes a few episodes to do.

Crab: I can’t wait for that! I have trouble waiting for toast to be ready. I’m out of here.

Goku: No wait, I wanna fight!

*Crab jumps into the lake*

Goku: Damn… Now what do I do? Ah well. *Begins to do battle with himself*

*As Crab floats to the bottom he has a moment of clarity.*

Crab: (Hmmm I sure do some crazy stuff at night. Good thing the guys don’t know it was me. Maybe I should try to stop all that. Maybe if I cut down my caffeine intake I could…) Ohhhh! A pineapple under the sea!

*When Crab lands on the bottom, the man himself Spongebob Squarepants greets him.*

Spongebob: Hiya Mr. Krabs! You look different.

Crab: I’m not “Mr. Krabs”, I’m Bubble Crab. You know you’re the second sponge I know.

Spongebob: Bubbles? I love blowing bubbles!

Crab: Me too!

Spongebob: Want to make some shapes with them?

Crab: Yay shapes!

*They proceed to do the whole bubbles blowing thing as seen on the show.*

Crab: That was fun.

Spongebob: Wanna sing the Fun Song? F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me N is for…

Crab: Not singing the Fun Song. I’m sorry, but I have to meet with my other friends and my worst enemies in this control room thingy place where there are lots of buttons for me to push. Do you know how to get there?

Spongebob: Sure, just over the hill and through a tunnel. Then you need to surface. That’s the way out of Bikini Bottom anyway, I’m not sure where to go from there.

Crab: Ok thanks. It’s been fun, I’ll always watch your show.

Spongebob: Bye new friend!

*Crab follows the directions Spongebob gave him. When he surfaces he finds himself in a wooded area.*

Crab: This is weird. Weirder than that time when I ate dog food and saw cats trying to get me.

Bugs Bunny: You’re messed up Doc.

Crab: AHH! *Jumps half a mile* Don’t do that!

Bugs: Nervous? This should calm you down. *puts a lit stick of TNT in Crabs mouth*

Crab: I don’t smoke. And neither should you kids, it’s bad for you! *Wink* Besides, this isn’t… *BOOM* That wasn’t funny.

Bugs: You’re fine. This is a cartoon, nobody really gets hurt.

Crab: Really? Then this shouldn’t do anything. *kicks Bugs in the groin*

Bugs: ‘Cept… that…

Crab: Heh, I got that wascawy wabbit.

*Bugs hits Crab with a giant mallet.*

Crab: OW! That wasn’t nice..

Bugs: Well, kicking below the belt ain’t cool either.

Crab: Do you know where the control room is?

Bugs: It’s just over that hill. But watch that first step.

Crab: Thanks Bugs, you’re the best. Even though I like Daffy more. *Goes over the hill and falls off a cliff*

Bugs: Don’t mention it.

Crab: AHHHHHH!!! Where’s Superman when you need him?! AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

*As Moth flutters through the hall his door revealed.*

Moth: (Geeze why did Magna have to hog the chips. I’m starving. And while I think about it why did we ever assign Gator to cooking? We’d be safer eating road kill. When we get home I’m taking him off that and putting him on cleaning.. No. he’d use sewer scum, hmmm he could eat the garbage.. yeah that could work) *stomach growls* ( I wonder where I am anyway.) Hello?

Studio Guy: Hey your needed on set 5 right now.

Moth: Huh? Me?

Studio Guy: Just go. *Shoves Moth*

Moth: What’s going on?

Studio Guy: Stand here and wait a minute.

Moth: I don’t like this.

Announcer: From Trumptopia it’s time to play Wheel of Fortune! Here are our hosts: Pat Sajak and Vanna White!

Pat: Hey there everybody. Before we begin just take a look at Vanna tonight! Wearing seven different outfits all made from the best material in the world. Vanna why are you wearing so many?

Vanna: They were all so nice I decided to wear them all.

*Moth takes off at Vanna and snatches one of the dresses and gobbles it down.*

Vanna: EEEK!

Moth: Mmmm… silky. What? Don’t look at me like that, I am a moth you know.

Pat: Get him out of here!

Moth: I’ll let myself out. Thanks for the meal.

*Moth goes through a door marked “J”.*

Announcer: This is Extended Player Jeopardy! Meet our contestants: A rapper, actor and all around cool guy Snoop Dog, A scientist specializing in trash research, Morph Moth, and our returning champions. The smartest men in the universe Stephen Hawking and Ken Jennings. Now Alex Trebek!

Alex: Thank you. Players get ready. All of you are good at this so it should be an interesting game.

Snoop: Fo’ shizzle.

Hawking: Ready. To. Play.

Ken: Ok now this is where I have to draw the line. Extended Jeopardy? Tell you what, call this the celebrity game and I can go home for a day. Lets keep it to three ok?

Alex: See, he is smart! Ok, see you tomorrow.

Moth: (This should be a piece of cake. With Ken leaving all I have to do is disable Stephen’s super chair so he can’t talk and I can win this no problem.) *uses powers to disable chair* My time to shine at last!

*A few rounds later…*

Moth: (I can’t believe it. Snoop Dog is beating me. He really can do everything.)

Snoop: I’ll take Playboy Playmate History for $500.

Moth: I’m out of here. *leaves through door marked F*

Joe Rogan: Welcome to Fear Factor!

Moth: I hate this show.

Joe: Today we will suspend these two crazy people and reploid from a helicopter by their feet. Then we will slowly cut the rope. After that we’ll have a bug eating contest!

Moth: Excuse me?

*The Fear Factor crew ties ropes to the contestants legs and then the chopper takes off.*

Joe: Ok, now cut the ropes!

*They do so and the people go down screaming. Moth however simply remains flying.*

Joe: Hey you didn’t fall!

Moth: I can fly you idiot. This is such a stupid show, all you do it torture people just to entertain others. What would happen if somebody got hurt?

Joe: Ah, don’t worry about it. It’ll never happen.

Contestants: *Splat*

Joe: Uh-oh…

Moth: I hope you get cancelled. *flies into the next room where he sees the most rabid audience ever*

Announcer: It’s the Price is Right!

Moth: Oh no! That means that walking dead Bob Barker is here isn’t it?

Barker: Yup! Remember to Spade and Neuter your pets. I was attacked by a pack of dogs the other day, I think they were angry at me for saying that for 33 years, but oh well. Let’s play! Morph Moth come on down!

Moth: Do I have to?

Barker: If you want to get out of here, yes.

Moth: Alright, let’s get this over with.

Barker: Spin the wheel.

Moth: I think I already ruined that show.

Barker: No, not that wheel, the Prize Wheel!

Moth: I don’t really wanna… Hey, is that a super power converter? Is that a prize?

Barker: It sure is! Give it a shot and see if you can win it.

*Moth spins the wheel.*

Barker: Ohh… it landed on the “nothing” spot. But as a consolation prize, here’s a can of tuna.

Moth: *Sarcastic* Great… Can you tell me where the control room is?

Barker: Right past the cars you didn’t win… Ha!

*Moth goes through the door.*

Moth: *Grumbling* I’ll never watch another game show as long as I live. It’s all rigged anyway.

*Instead of a normal door, the way Serges chose turns into a Stargate sending him into a beam of some kind. This takes him to…*

Serges: What happened?

Kirk: Welcome to the Starship Enterprise.

Serges: Man, that beam did a number on my back. I’m an old reploid you know, and I can’t take all that shaking.

Spock: I’ll have Scotty fix that.

Scotty: I donnn’t have the powerrrrr! *Eats a doughnut*

Serges: Right… I’m looking for a control room. Not for this ship but for the station.

Kirk: Why? To shut us down?

Serges: No, of course not. To do… uh… maintenance?

Kirk: Fair enough.

Spock: Sir, I detect he’s lying.

Serges: Shut up, pointy ears.

Darth Vader: Join the Dark Side!

Serges: Vader? Aren’t you in a movie series not even remotely related to this show?

Darth Vader: Yeah, but I needed the work.

Kirk: Get the phasers, let us stop the evil one!

Spock: Right Captain.

Serges: I’ll just be going now. *Opens the door and causes the whole set to collapse when he slams it*

Kirk: Cheap set…

*The door leads to an ally in a dark city style set. The moment he walks towards the street a black car pulls up and he is thrown into the backseat.*

Mulder: Were you followed?

Serges: I don’t think so. Who are you and where are you taking me?

Scully: Quiet. We need answers first.

Mulder: For starters who are you and what are you doing here?

Serges: I’m Serges of the X-Hunters and I’ve come to get the TV going again.

Scully: Hmm… interesting. Go on.

Serges: To do so we, my teammates and this group of idiots, must get to the control room to shut down Trump’s signal and restore the other stations.

Mulder: Did you say Trump? Ha! I knew there was a connection!

Serges: Well duh! He owns this place.

Scully: I must admit Mulder, I thought your theory on Trump being an alien experimenting with zombies and subliminal messages was far-fetched at best, but I’m starting to believe.

Mulder: Of course he’s an alien, how else can you explain that hair?

Serges: What? I’m not following you guys on this…

Mulder: And just think Scully, a tv station would be the perfect place to do those experiments. He could do all sorts of mind altering things, like… dancing potatoes!

Serges: He has his own show you moron. It’s in its 88th season.

Scully: Do you suppose he may try to lure people to experiment on by using the scent of corn?

Serges: ???

Mulder: Yes corn! To feed the rabid babies!

Serges: I have no time for your ridiculous theories and idiotic drivel. Let me off here… I see the way.

*They let him off and continue to go back and forth on their crazy theory.*

Serges: Now I see how nut-houses stay open. Corn… Ha! I would use the power of cheese and get that Dairy Fairy along with that Dairy Queen to rule the world! Or at least make it hard on those lactos intolerent people. *exits*

*The room Wire Sponge enters is a strange one. Mainly because there was nothing there. No furniture, no pictures, windows, no carpet, nothing. Just another door across the room.*

Sponge: This is odd. *Goes over to the other door and discovers that it’s locked* Damn.

Voice: Oh it’s not going to be that easy my friend.

Sponge: Who said that?

*Sponge whirls around to find the room still empty. He looks all around trying to find a camera or a speaker but finds none.*

Sponge: Weird. *Tries the door again*

Voice: Don’t you want to try a McDonald’s Big Mac? I’m lovin’ it!

Sponge: Who are you? Where are you?

Voice: Not interested? Then how about a Whopper? Burger King let’s you have it your way!

Sponge: Answer me!

Voice: No. You answer me first. You tell me and I tell you.

Sponge: *Sigh* I wouldn’t like either. Now who are you?

Voice: I’m the Uber-Advertiser! Not a meat person? On a low-carb diet? Try a delicious sub at Subway! Eat Fresh. Or try a salad at Wendy’s.

Sponge: I’m a plant, I don’t eat food. Now where are you?

U.A.: All around all the time. Here I have more of a voice to reach the people, or in your case Reploid plant. Miracle  Grow can help you stop weeds.

Sponge: I don’t have time for this.

U.A.: Try an ice-cold Pepsi or a refreshing Coca-Cola!

Sponge: *Gets idea* Which one is better?

U.A.: Huh?

Sponge: You heard me. If I were to buy a soda which one should I choose?

U.A.: Coke! No wait Pepsi! No wait… Always Coca-Cola… Pepsi for those who think young… Sprite obey your thirst, Do the Dew…

*While the U.A. goes on rambling, Sponge uses his vines to slide under the door and unlock it from the other side. He exits the room.*

Sponge: Stupid advertiser. Trying to trick me with soda. That’s Magna’s thing.

U.A.: That was a dirty trick you know.

Sponge: Ah! Go away! I’ve got to get to the control room!

U.A.: No. I’m not leaving until I find something you want that you can order with a credit card.

Sponge: I don’t own a credit card.

U.A.: You don’t? Really?

Sponge: Yeah. Too broke for that…

U.A.: Want to sign up for Washington Mutual?

Sponge. No…

U.A.: How about a Verizon Wireless Phone?

*Just then the Verizon Wireless Phone Guy shows up.*

Guy: Can you hear me now? Good!

Sponge: Hey, follow him! He loves to spend money!

*Sponge takes off down the hall and much to his relief the voice of the Uber-Advertiser does not follow.*

Sponge: *Whew* (Man am I glad to be rid of him. Lucky thing that annoying phone guy showed up. Now on to the control room!)

*Suddenly ads start to appear along the walls. Some feature cars and other vehicles, while others show various products and medication.*

Sponge: This is worse than pop-up ads. No… nothing is worse than that. *goes on, ignoring the ads and goes through a door*

Duck: Aflac!

Sponge: Shut up!

*When Flame opened his door he comes across a telporter and a dead-end.*

Flame: Guess I have no choice but to see where this leads.

*Steps on the teleporter but nothing happened.*

Flame: Hmm… Thats discouraging. What’s wrong with this thing? Here’s the problem. It was unplugged. *plugs it in and it instantly teleports him to…*

Steve: Welcome boys and girls, I’m Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter comin’ to you live from Australia! Today I’m just going to look around for things ta poke and piss off. Oh look, a wild stag! Isn’t he a beaut?

Flame: Did you say Australia? Wow that took me far.

Steve: It’s even one of those talking kinds! Let’s try ta catch it and poke it with this stick.

Flame: Uh no, that won’t be necessary. Can you tell me… You’re not listening, are you?

Steve: He’s makin’ a lot o’ noise, not sure what the li’l bugger wants.

Flame: (He’s tuning out what I say because he thinks I’m a wild animal… I’ve got an idea!) *dashes behind a rock and transforms*

Steve: I think he went this way. Hey you! Did ya see a Stag trot by?

Ghaleon: What stag? Did he have fire on his head?

Steve: Yeah!

Ghaleon: Was he tall?

Steve: Yeah, yeah!

Ghaleon: Did he have a long white face?

Steve: Yeah! That’s the one!

Ghaleon: No, I haven’t seen him.

Steve: Crikey!

Ghaleon: Yeah, sorry about that. Anyway can you help me?

Steve: Sure I can, what do ya… Shhh! Do ya hear that?

Ghaleon: *Whispers* No. What’s the matter?

*Suddenly Steve leaps behind Ghaleon and grab a snake.*

Steve: Looky boys and girls, it’s a deadly cobra! Let’s piss him off and watch him spit venom!

Ghaleon: Who are you talking to?

Steve: Them of course.

Ghaleon: Uh… yeah. Say, isn’t poking that snake a tad stupid?

Steve: Eh, I guess you’re right. *tosses the snake* I really want ta hunt croc.

Ghaleon: I know a gator. *Suddenly has Steve’s full attention*

Steve: A gator? What kind?

Ghaleon: I think he was built in Florida…

Steve: Really? How big?

Ghaleon: Pretty big I guess. He’s one of my roommates.

Steve: You live with him?! Does he talk like that stag did?

Ghaleon: Tell you what, you tell me where the next teleporter is and I’ll tell you what you want to know. Deal?

Steve: Crikey!!

Ghaleon: I’ll take that as a yes. Ok, his whole name is Wheel Gator and he lives on an island with the rest of us and together. We are the Code: Island Attackers. He likes to swim in the sewer, which is where he does a lot of hunting, he owns a tank but it’s busted right now, and he’s into music.

Steve: What a catch he would make! The next teleporter is behind those bushes there.

Ghaleon: Thanks. (I wonder if I just did a stupid thing? Nahh, that idiot will never find our island. He’ll be too busy poking scorpions and getting mauled by badgers and marmots to bother us.) *Finds the teleporter and steps on it, sending him back to the studio*

Steve: Heh, that stag doesn’t fool me, I could smell ‘im. A Wheel Gator… Must be the rarest kind! We’re off on an adventure boys and girls!

*After blindly leaping after the snack, Violen begins to cry.*

Violen: I want to go home. This place is scary, worse yet I’m still missing “I Love Lucy!”

*Suddenly the hallway lights up.*

Violen: Thats a little better. *Gets up and begins to walk down the hall*

Voice: Violen…

Violen: Who’s there?

Voice: Come here my friend.

Violen: Ohhhhh…

Voice: Please come here. I promise it will be ok.

*Reluctantly Violen follows the voice and comes to a thing of wonder. There were his favorite TV characters Lucy and Ricky, still in black and white.*

Violen: Lucy! Ricky! What are you guys doing here?

Lucy: We are your guiding light Violen.

Ricky: We all are.

*More tv stars of yesteryear appear.*

Violen: Wow. Hey, aren’t a lot of you dead? What’s going on, why are you helping me?

Ricky: Lucy, you got some ‘splainin’ to do.

Lucy: It’s true that many of us are long gone, but with re-runs still going strong our spirits will never die. It’s fans like you who keep us alive.

Fonz: Eeeeeyyy!

Curly: Nyuck-nyuck-nyuck!

Larry: Hey shut up, she’s talking.

Moe: You shut up.

Violen: This is awesome! I’ve always dreamed of meeting you guys. But why help me? I’m a bad guy.

Don Knots: But Trump is worse! That rapschalion has taken over all the stations including the ones that air our shows.

Samantha: You have to beat him for us, or my nose won’t twitch anymore.

Violen: I can’t. I’m such a loser.

Beaver: I was too, but all you have to do is believe in yourself.

Hawkeye: Thats right. You have to use what you have.

Lassie: Woof!

Violen: Thanks everybody. I’ll fight for you as best I can.

Lucy: Fantastic! Here take this with you. *gives Violen a gold chain* Use this when things look bleak.

Violen: How do I use it?

Lucy: You’ll know when the time comes. Now off you go. Lassie here will guide you. Take him girl, you know the way.

Lassie: Ruff!

*Violen follows Lassie down the hall. He waves good-bye to those that remain. They wave back as they slowly begin to fade and disappear.*

Violen: Wow. I’ll fight for you Lucy! I’ll get all the shows back. Lead on Lassie!

*Ghaleon is teleported to a room with several doors.*

Ghaleon: What a trip. *Looks around* Well this can’t be where I started, I only count six doors.

*Magna comes in.*

Magna: Damn! I thought I would never get out of there. I had to fight off Rosie and Regis while they were having a stupid-off.

Ghaleon: I went to Australia somehow.

*Serges comes in.*

Serges: Did you run into any trouble?

*Moth flies in.*

Moth: Where is everybody?

Magna: Just wait a bit.

Ghaleon: I was here first, I can’t believe I beat you guys here.

*Overdrive comes in grinning.*

Moth: I know that look. What did you do?

Overdrive: Oh nothing. Just had a good time that’s all.

*Sponge comes in followed by a duck.*

Sponge: Go away!

Duck: Aflac!

Serges: Where’s my team? Don’t tell me they got lost.

*A door opens slowly and Agile crawls out.*

Magna: Geez, what happened to you?

Overdrive: You look like you were hit by a bus.

Agile: It feels that way too. Can somebody please fix me? I’m starting to see things.. Ohh flying hamsters….

Ghaleon: Hamptaro?

Sponge: Dude!

Ghaleon: What? I like that show. It’s…. cute.

Moth: *Fixing Agile* Anybody seen Crab?

Serges: Or Violen? There’s only one door left.

Overdrive: I’m sure they’ll drop in.

*Suddenly a hole appears in the ceiling above Overdrive and Bubble Crab falls on top of him.*

Crab: Now that was fun! I wanna do it again!

Ghaleon: Overdrive? You ok?

Overdrive: FINLAND!

Duck: Aflac!

Crab: Hey a duck. Lets eat him, it’ll be better than KFC!

Duck: Ahhhh! *Runs away*

Magna: You’re not back for more than two seconds and already I want to kill you.

Crab: It’s a gift.

Sponge: So how did things go?

Moth: *Finishes fixing Agile* Rather not talk about it.

Agile: Same here.

Magna: Ditto.

Flame: *Transforms back* No comment.

Crab: I was a cartoon.

Serges: Sure you were, and I’m Jerry Seinfeld.

Crab: Yadda yadda yadda.

*Serges slaps his forehead.*

Agile: Where’s Violen? Big idiot probably got lost.

Serges: Either that or he’s sitting in a corner crying.

*Just then Lassie walks through the last closed door. Violen bumps into it then opens it. Everyone is in stunned silence.*

Violen: Look guys, I found my guiding light!

Lassie: Bark!

Overdrive: That bump on the head must have been worse than I thought.

Moth: No, I see it too.

Sponge: Is that a ghost?

Violen: Kinda. It’s the spirit of Lassie and she’s here to help us.

Flame: How?

Violen: By leading us to the control room so we can restore all the stations.

Magna: Works for me.

Serges: Let’s go then. I want this to be over as soon as possible.

*The group follows Lassie through the winding corridors.*

Flame: Don’t you think it’s weird that we’re following a ghost dog?

Sponge: I’ve dealt with worse today.

Crab: Maybe we should call the Ghost Busters.

Violen: Don’t you dare.

*Lassie leads them to a large room filled with equipment. The control room at last.*

Lassie: Bark, woof!

Violen: Thanks Lassie!

Magna: Smartest dog in the world.

Serges: Thank you Lassie, your show will always be watched at our house.

Crab: I thought you lived in a dumpster.

Agile: We did but the rent was too expensive so we moved.

*Slowly Lassie begins to fade.*

Violen: Goodbye, I’ll see you again on Nick-at-Night! Save Timmy for me.

*Everyone waves good-bye.*

Overdrive: Guys… Do you see what I see? *points to a door marked “Hall A”*

Sponge: That’s where the tour was headed. We took the long way.

Magna: *Angry* Crab…

Crab: What?

Moth: Stop it guys. *Goes over to a computer and sits down.* Right. Now that we’ve found it lets shut it down.

Overdrive: All right! Time to blow stuff up!

Sponge: Not yet.

Flame: We have to restore all the other stations first.

Overdrive: Damn.

Moth: Keep a watch for guards while I mess with this thing.

*Some time passes…*

Magna: How’s it coming?

Moth: Huh? Oh sorry, I was just checking my e-mail and this cool website that I found called Newgrounds.

Overdrive: *Angry* Will you get to work already! No telling when guards will show up.

Moth: Ok, ok. *starts to type and search the computer*

Flame: Any luck?

Moth: Well the security on the signaling system is tight and I need to break the passcode to disable it.

Crab: Bummer.

Moth: But I do have some good news. I just saved a bunch of money on our car insurance by switching to Geico.

Agile: Will you stop messing around!

Serges: And I thought Crab was the dumb one.

Crab:Hey!

Moth: Got it. All I have to do is hit “Execute” and everything will be fine.

Magna: Do it.

*As soon as Moth clicked the button two things happen at once. All the machines turn off and an alarm turns on.*

Magna: Crap!

Overdrive: Can we destroy it now?

Moth: Yeah, but make it quick.

*Everyone but Moth fire their weapons into the room destroying all that was there.*

Violen: Uh.. Guys? We have company.

*A small army of guards have surrounded our hero’s and anti-hero’s.*

Sponge: This looks worse than that time we got kicked out of Wal-Mart.

Guard: Freeze! You’re all coming with us. The boss wants to have a word with you.

Crab: NOOO! Make it go away! *Takes out sleeping potion*

Flame: Let me see that. *Takes bottle* We can use this! Everybody back up as far as you can and don’t breathe this stuff in! *Throws the bottle in the middle of the guards and within minutes they are all asleep*

Agile: Quick thinking there Flame.

Sponge: That was awesome!

Crab: No, that was mine! I was gonna use that!

Magna: With the guards taken care of, let’s go deal with the boss himself.

Crab: Do we have to?

Overdrive: Of course we have to! I’ve been wanting to fight him all day.

Serges: I think I found the way.

Flame: How can you tell?

Serges: Well there’s a gold arrow with his name on it, a path made of jewels, those big double doors with his initials on them and the entire hall lined with different pictures of him and that stupid haircut.

Crab: But are you really sure that’s his office?

Sponge: Shut up…

Violen: Do you think he’s expecting us?

Moth: Probably.

Magna: Enough with the talking, let’s go kick Trump’s butt!

Sponge: Yeah!

Crab: No!

*They all walk towards the big double doors, dragging Crab. The doors open by themselves and behind a huge desk Donald Trump is staring at them.*

Trump: *Coldly* How are you gentlemen?

Crab: All your base are belong to us!

*Everyone stares at Crab*

Sponge: You just have to ruin the moment don’t you?

Trump: Silence! I have to say I’m impressed with you. I didn’t think any of you were capable of being stupid enough to barge in here and expect nothing to go wrong. Don’t you think I knew you would try to stop me? I wanted you to come.

Flame: You mean…

Moth: This was just a trap?

Trump: Exactly! I’ve brought you here to test some new toys of mine. Heh heh heh… *pushes a button and the Enzyte music starts to play* Get them Bob, my evil zombie!

*Bob the smiling Enzyte zombie emerges from the shadows. He’s instantly incinerated due to everybody firing their weapons all at once. Everybody hates Bob.*

Magna: Ha! Billions of dollars to your name and you still suck!

Trump: That was just a warm-up. The real fun has yet to come. *Pushes another button.* Meet Oreo Oreo and Loreo Oreo. The Oreo Brothers!

Oreo: Hi.

Loreo: Yo.

Trump: They will be your doom.

Violen: I like cookies!

Crab: Me too!

Serges: Don’t eat them. No telling where they’ve been.

Flame: Ew.

Sponge: They don’t look that tough.

Overdrive: Let’s see how fast we beat them.

Oreo: I think not. Ready bro?

Loreo: Let’s do it.

*Both take off at alarming speed and begin their assault on the team.*

Magna: Ok team, attack!

Serges: “X” formation! Hit ‘em hard!

Magna: Hey, I give the orders!

Serges: Says who?

Magna and Serges: *Both get hit by the Oreo Bros.* Attack!

*The two teams fire their weapons but the Oreo Bros. keep dodging their attack.*

Agile: Violen, use your medicine ball.

Violen: I forgot how. I turned it off and I can’t remember how to turn it back on!

Agile: *Slashes sword but misses* Say the password you idiot!

Violen: Oh yeah! Go-go-gadget ball!

*The system inside Violen kicks on and the medicine ball begins to fly. But still no hits connect.*

Oreo: “Double-Stuff Punch!!!” *does a diving punch on Violen*

Flame: Why can’t we hit them? *Gets hit with Cream Filling*

Moth: Their attack pattern is too sporadic.

Sponge: Well figure something out! *Shoots a vine at Loreo but hits Agile instead*

Agile: Hey, watch where you’re aiming you weed!

Sponge: Say that to my face girly man!

Agile: How dare you! Why I outta… *Gets hit with a swift kick to the head.*

Overdrive: So speed is the game, eh?

*Powers up and runs after Oreo but not only are they running, they are jumping and bouncing, making it impossible for them to follow.*

Crab: Somebody do something!

Violen: I know!

*Violen pulls out the chain and holds it high in the air. Mr. T shows up.*

Magna: Whoa!

*The Oreo Bros. stop running. Mr. T takes the chain and then proceeds to beat the snot out of the Oreo Bros.*

Flame: Wow! Thanks Mr. T!

Mr. T: Don’t mention it. I pity da foo’ who messes with me. Drink yo milk. *Leaves*

Sponge: Mr. T is hella tough.

Moth: I hear he drives a fast van too.

Trump: *Claps* Very clever but you will not beat me so easily. I still have the upper-hand.

Magna: How? It’s nine to one.

Trump: I’m a billionaire remember? Hey, X-Hunters.

Serges: Yeah?

Trump: You want your old jobs back? Higher pay and a guaranteed “Not being fired” clause that’s good for three months.

Violen: On one condition. Never take over the TV stations again.

Trump: Done.

Agile: Hellz yeah!

*The X-Hunters join Trump and go stand by his desk.*

Overdrive: You traitors!

Serges: Oh please, we weren’t exactly friends to begin with. In fact, we hate you!

Raymond: But everybody loves me!

*All stare. Raymond takes the hint and leaves.*

Magna: Well the odds are still in our favor. Six to four isn’t bad.

*A door opens and a large group of flying rabid babies emerge.*

Trump: Ahh, my newest experimental army has arrived.

Sponge: Now that’s just sick.

Moth: Your insane Trump! …And your haircut sucks.

Trump’s Hair: I beg to differ!

Flame: Wha…

Overdrive: Did his hair just talk?

Crab: This is my worst fear come true, this sucks!

Serges: I didn’t know about that.

Agile: Creepy.

Violen: Is it the hair gel?

Trump: How do you think I got so rich in business? With two brains working together you can do anything.

Trump’s Hair: That’s right.

*Trump, the X-Hunters, the rabid babies, and the recovered Oreo Bros. begin to move in on the C:IA.*

Crab: Since we are going to die, can I ask a question? Don’t you find it ironic that you made a show called “The Apprentice” and now you yourself are an apprentice to Sigma?

Trump: Yeah that is a tad ironic.

Flame: And the fact that Sigma hates humans yet he’s helping you?

Trump’s Hair: Nobody can resist the all mighty dollar!

Serges: You’re not getting away this time.

Agile: Oh yeah! Payback!

Magna: Ok team I’m open to suggestions here.

Moth: Uh. Uh. Uh… Hey what’s this… *Pulls out the Tupperware Gator gave him* I’ve got it!

*First Moth gets his keys for the van and signals it to home in and find them. He then opens the Tupperware and tosses it in the middle of Trumps group. The rabid babies go and eat it, causing them to explode. The smell of it and the explosions take care of the rest. The van crashes through the wall and the C:IA all rush inside and take off, leaving Trump and his minions coughing and confused.*

Trump: *Cough* Run while you can. We will meet again, and when we do things will be different.

Reading Rainbow Guy: But you don’t have to take my word for it!

*Trumps hair eats him.*

Trump’s Hair: I always hated that guy.

*In the van.*

Magna: That was quick thinking Moth.

Moth: Yeah, who knew Gator’s food could help us?

Overdrive: I’m exhausted. When we get home, I’m going to sleep like a baby.

Sponge: Don’t mention babies. Those things are going to haunt my dreams for a long time.

Crab: Whats the matter Flame?

Flame: I can’t shake this feeling that we forgot something.

Magna: Crap! We forgot to get a new TV!

Flame: Not that.. Where’s Snail? I know he didn’t go in the building with us, but he was in the van right?

Moth: I don’t think so…

Sponge: Then that means….

Overdrive: We left him at home.

*And so they arrive home. They walk in to see two amazing sights. Snail literary bouncing off the walls and a giant plasma screen television.*

Gator: It’s about time you guys got back.

*Magna is stunned and drooling at the plasma screen.*

Moth: What’s wrong with Snail?

Gator: Oh he had thirds of the S.S. He was a little slow to eat it at first but then he got all energetic and had some more.

Snail: Yeah its great I’ll never have safely prepared food again!!!!! *Begins to foam in the mouth*

Sponge: I think he’s rabid…

Crab: Yay rabies!

Overdrive: How could you feed him that slop?

Gator: Slop? I used almost the same things when I made those sandwiches you all loved so much.

*Everyone vomits.*

Magna: GATOR!!! How? Where? TV!!!

Gator: I tried to tell you before you left that I got this.

Flame: How? We can’t afford this!

Gator: I know. I won it. There was this contest to see who would eat what, kinda like Fear Factor ‘cept on the street, so I entered to get the free lunch and won this TV. Cool huh?

Overdrive: Amazing. We get a free plasma screen because you’re gross.

Gator: I also got this free car wash coupon just for entering. Oh by the way, next time you go on a mission tell me. I’d like to think I’m part of the team.

Moth: How did you know about that?

Gator: The entire thing was broadcasted. I recorded it too using the Tivo that came with it.

*They play their entire mission back to them. They all see and hear what happened to each other.*

Crab: Um… I was joking, honest.

Sponge: You are in so much trouble.

Flame: Overdrive, you burned down Sesame Street? How could you?

Snail: FZZZZZZZZZZAHHHGUHBUHFAOLRAGUS!!!!!!!

Moth: Help me get Snail to the lab for repairs and to pump his stomach.

*Suddenly Trump comes on screen.*

Trump: Thank you for watching this special live presentation. These figures you see on your screen show that just about everybody watched. The networks were so grateful they gave me billions of dollars to air it again with commercials. Stay tuned for an encore presentation. Thank you and good-night.

Magna: Wait a minute! We just made him richer?!?

Overdrive: So even though we won we still lost.

Sponge: Turn it off. I’ve had enough TV for one day.

Flame: Will you guys stop? So what if Trump got richer, we still came out the victors. Trump no longer has a monopoly on the stations, we got a free tv and best of all we found out who messed with all our stuff. *Glares at Crab* So despite everything that happened to us, everything turned out ok.

Moth: Did nobody hear me? We need to treat Snail right now. He’s really starting to twitch.

Crab: Yay twitching!

Magna: Just shut up.

*Everybody helps Moth bring Snail to the lab for emergency treatment.*

Gator: *Mumbles* I don’t get it. Everything tastes better with rabies.

Sponge: Hmmm. I’ve got this odd feeling of being watched. Eh, must be my imagination. Nothing bad is going to happen.

*Outside the C:IA Headquarters…*

Steve: Crikey! What a find! Giant talking animals, bugs, and a sponge. This requires a lot more study. You sit tight my beauties. I’ll catch you soon enough!

The End?

 

The Rat gets a Major Upgrade

March 8, 2014

mn9 avatar concepts 01

 

This is so very cool.

Back story time: That is a sprite I’ve had a very long time. It was originally made for me by someone on the Newgrounds.com forum. I later used it as a villain for the Mega Man X 2 team I was on and had named it “The Rat.”

I am a backer for the Mighty No. 9 game that will hopefully come out next year and “The Rat” has been given a major upgrade by a kind fellow named Takobot. It kicks so much butt!

TV Turmoil pt. 1

March 4, 2014

*Written by Outlaw88 (me)*

*We join our hero’s relaxing in front of their small TV after a hard days work. Lots of repairs had to be done to their base after the last “cookie battle.” Magna, Overdrive, Moth, Flame, and Sponge are sitting on the couch. Crab is behind it and Snail is on top of the TV*

Snail: Is it working?

Overdrive: A little more to the left. No, your other left.

Snail: Remind me why I’m doing this.

Flame: You get better reception with your antenna.

Sponge: You sure are eating a lot of snacks there Magna.

Magna: I’m trying to *munch* spoil my appetite.

Moth: Why?

Magna: Because it’s Gator’s turn to cook tonight.

Everyone else: IT IS?!

Flame: Hey pass me some chips!

Overdrive: Popcorn, NOW!

Moth: Pass those my way!

Sponge: Fill me up on those sodas!

*They all pass around the various snacks*

Overdrive: Damnit, Snail fell asleep on the TV again.

Magna: Nothing good on anyway. All the stations look the same. *Flips through channels that show identical pictures*

Flame: Hey, they are the same! What is that?

Magna: Well I was watching re-runs of “I Love Lucy” when this annoying multi-colored screen came on.

Crab: Whoooo! This watch thing is so much fun!

Moth: Don’t play with that, it’s not a toy.

Crab: Now I’m Crab!

PBX: Now I’m not!

Crab: Now I’m Crab!

PBX: Now I’m not!

Crab: This

PBX: is

Crab: so

PBX: much

Crab: fun!!!

Crab/PBX: Yay! Hahahahahahahahah!!

Overdrive: Are you sure we can’t turn him off?

Sponge: We’ve tried. Trust me on that one.

Magna: Shh, the TV is going again.

*They all pay attention except for Snail*

TV Announcer: Attention viewers of the world! Are you ready for drama? Are you ready for action? Do you have the attention span of jello? Then you’ll love… THE APPRENTICE OF DOOM! All Trump all the time no matter where you go. And now the man himself has something to say.

Trump: Hello. For those of you who don’t know me I’m the boss of everything, Donald Trump. I have taken over every TV station in the world for my own enjoyment. I didn’t bother going after radio since most of you are too dumb to use it. My plan of global conquest has only begun! I’m a busy man so I’ll return you to your new programming and since most of you are brain-dead morons, it will consist of a picture of me for the next three weeks. Enjoy or be destroyed!

*The C:IA sit in stunned silence until…*

Crab: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

*Crab fires his weapon at the TV making it explode. Snail is thrown into air only to land on the couch, still asleep and unharmed*

Magna: Why the hell did you do that?!

Crab: Trump! Trump on TV! Must stop!

Overdrive: You could have just turned it off you know.

Sponge: This is a serious problem, though. All of the TV stations?

Flame: We need to do something.

Moth: Yeah Magna. You’re the leader, what do you want to do?

Magna: Nothing. Let’s just stay here and maybe things will turn out OK.

*Just then Gator emerges from the kitchen holding a large steaming pot*

Gator: Dinner’s ready.

Magna: On second thought, let’s go.

Flame: To stop…

Magna: ANYWHERE!

Gator: You’re going out? But I cooked my specialty, “Sewer Surprise.”

Moth: (Nobody say it, nobody say it, nobody say it…)

Crab: What’s the surprise?

*Moth slaps his forehead*

Gator: I have no idea what’s in it! That’s not the only surprise either, I got…

Overdrive: We can’t stay right now we… uhh.. Have to go get a new TV!

Gator: But I…

Sponge: We have a few errands to run too.

Gator: OK then. I can bring this on the van and–

Flame: NO! Uh, I mean that would spoil it. Besides we had a big lunch and we’re not that hungry.

Magna: Don’t worry about it. You go ahead and enjoy whatever it is that you made. We’ll be back later.

Gator: At least take this with you in case you get hungry. *Scoops some of the stew into a Tupperware container and hands it to Moth*

Moth: Eww… I mean thanks. *Puts it in pocket*

Crab: Bye fang-face!

*They rush out before Gator can say anything else*

Gator: And all that time I took to find stuff for it. Now I can’t share it.

Snail: Zzzzzz…Smell..ZzzzzZzz

Gator: Or maybe not! Hey Snail, you’ll love this…

*In the incredible van of the C:IA*

Overdrive: Whew, we got out of there just in time.

Flame: I’ll say. Who knows what you could get eating that stuff. I think I saw it move.

Moth: Now what?

Crab: We have to stop Trump!

Magna: Why should we? He’s not hurting anyone, just boring them to death.

Moth: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Crab is right. As hero’s we must stop Trump’s evil plan.

Sponge: Of Doom!

Flame: Doom?

Overdrive: Doom.

Magna: Stop that! Do you guys think we can just waltz into his TV station, filled with guards and other horrors, all probably lurking inside a storage room where they keep spare TV sets? Spare TV sets?! We could score a new TV!

Moth: Uh.. Sure if we have the time.

Magna: To Trump Station!

Sponge: Where is that anyway?

Flame: It’s in “Trumptopia” a few miles away.

Crab: Trumptopia?! Please tell me this is a nightmare!

Overdrive: How can this be a nightmare if you don’t sleep?

Crab: Oh yeah, I forgot.

Magna: OK there it is. Any plans on getting in there?

Moth: I’ve got one. Lets change into our alter ego’s, Trump’s guards won’t know it’s really us. We can then join the tour group.

Sponge: Once we’re inside what then?

Moth: We have to shut down his transmission and restore all the other stations, then destroy all of his stuff.

Overdrive: He’s rich you know, he can just buy more. What’s the point of that?

Moth: It will be both gratifying and fun. Then we will confront Trump to help Crab get over his phobia, and finally we bring Trump to justice.

Magna: And score a free TV!

Moth: …And score a free TV.

Crab: Yay plan! It’s good except for the confronting part. He’s too scary.

Magna: Alright everybody, transform and let’s get this show on the road.

*Void lands the van a few blocks away*

Rebel: There’s the tour, let’s go join it.

GDT: *Sarcastically* Oh this ought to be good. There’s a giant poster of Trump. PBX if you freak out I swear I will beat you so bad…

Void: Shut up the tour is starting.

Tour Guide: Welcome to Trump Studio’s where Donald’s dream of global conquest will finally come true. We will begin our tour by going through one of many of the rooms where we shoot hit TV shows.

*All part of the tour move in, they see many rooms with different sets, monitors, and the occasional studio staff. Things go smoothly until… *

Tour Guide: Before we go any further, does anybody have any questions?

Void: Yeah I do. How come it seems so deserted in here? Shouldn’t there be more people running this place?

Tour Guide: That’s because the boss keeps firing everybody. He will usually have a replacement ready but sometimes…

Tour Guide #2: Hey Joe, The boss told me to take over. Oh yeah he also said “You’re Fired!” Tough luck.

Tour Guide #1: But it was only my second day!

*Suddenly PBX begins to flicker and fade*

Ti-An: Uh guys..

Rebel: Now what?

Void: The batteries must be going dead. I told you not to play with that!

Crab: I couldn’t help it, you made it so fun.

Tour Guides 1 and 2: What the? Security! Intruders! Hey stop copying me. Quit it! *They start to fight each other*

GDT: Lets take this opportunity to get out of here.

*As the tour guides fight each other our hero’s take off and go into a door marked “Hall B.” There they revert back to their original form*

Overdrive: Nice going Crab! Now the whole building will be looking for us.

Crab: It’s not my fault Moth gave us crappy batteries!

Moth: Those should have lasted three years! How long were you doing that “Now I’m Crab, now I’m not” bit?

Crab: Two weeks during the daytime and every night since you gave it to me. I get bored when you guys are asleep.

Sponge: If we get out of here alive I vote we get him a board game or something.

Magna: Agreed. We might as well explore and try to find the storage room. I wonder if they have plasma screens lying around.

Flame: You mean find where the transmissions are coming from.

Magna: That too.

*The C:IA go down the hall. No doors or windows are around, just a winding path that they follow. Just as they round the corner…*

Magna: There has to be a door somewhere around here.

Moth: Do you hear that?

Flame: Hear what? That weird rattling sound?

Sponge: That’s Crab.

Crab: I have screws loose!

Overdrive: *Rolls eyes* You’re telling me.

Moth: No, not that. I think I hear voices. They sound familiar too.

Magna: Who would we find here that we would kno- *Bumps into Serges* Ow…

Serges: Huh?

Magna and Serges: AHHHHH! What are you doing here?

Overdrive: Man, that is getting creepy.

Flame: I thought D.T. fired you.

Serges: He did.

Agile: We came here to get the TV back on. Violen hasn’t stopped whining since they cut off “I Love Lucy” to display that stupid message.

Violen: I want my Lucy back! That was a good episode.

Magna: I know. Do you know which one it was?

Violen: It was the one where Lucy wants to go to the club but Ricky wouldn’t let her, Fred and Ethel show up for no reason, and Lucy does that really funny cry.

Sponge: Isn’t that every episode?

Serges: So what brings you here?

Moth: Stopping Trump, saving the world, restoring the rights of viewers everywhere. You know, the whole “hero” thing.

Magna: And to get a free TV! Stop forgetting that!

Flame: So we all have a common goal right now. We could work together.

Sponge: Are you crazy?

Crab: I might be.

Overdrive: We can’t trust them!

Serges: And we can’t trust you.

Agile: It will never work.

Violen: I WANT MY TV!!!!!

Magna: Um…. Temporary truce?

Serges: Oh very well.

*Magna and Serges shake hands*

Flame: So now what?

Moth: I guess we keep going until we find an exit or something. I’m pretty sure we are looking for a control room of some kind.

Guard: There they are! Get them!

*Guards surround the unlikely team of the C:IA and X-Hunters*

Serges: OK now what? Do we stand and fight, give up, or run like hell?

Magna: We do what any world-class heroes such as ourselves would do. We run.

Crab: Wait, I have an idea.

Overdrive: Oh no…

*Music blairs as Crab takes out a pack of Mentos and proceeds to eat one as the Mentos theme plays*

Crab: The Freshmaker!

Everyone else: ……………………..

Crab: What? You deny the power of the Freshmaker?

Guard: Idiot. Capture them men. *Gets slapped* And women!

*The team takes off down the hall dodging blasts from the guards weapons and returning fire with their own. They bust through a door and quickly go through one on the right*

Magna: Watch my ninja skills at work.

*Magna tosses a few balls into the hallway that emit a large cloud of dark smoke. Then he uses his powers to make a fire extinguisher fall in a room past the one they are in, fooling the guards. They pass where the team is and go off in all directions*

Sponge: That was a close one.

Flame: Now what do we do?

Magna: I’ve got an idea. I’ll use my magnetic powers to locate the strongest signal here. We follow that and we find the master control room.

*Magna gets into his usual pose and concentrates. He glows a bright yellow and promptly gets hit in the head by a crowbar that was attracted, knocking him down*

Moth: You OK?

Magna: *Groggy* MoRe OvAlTeAn PlEaSe…

Overdrive: *Snicker* Good one.

Sponge: What happened?

Serges: He used to much power and made himself a magnet.

Crab: *Chants* Somebodies got a dent..

Magna: Shut up! Let me try that again, just toned down this time.

*Magna once again gets into his meditative pose this time glowing faintly*

Magna: Got it. The strongest signal is coming from behind that door.

Agile: Well let’s get going before more guards show up.

*They all go through the door only to discover a hallway with nine doors and a dead-end*

Overdrive: Wonderful. Just wonderful. Our leader steers us to a dead-end.

Flame: Did we make a wrong turn somewhere?

Agile: Maybe that crowbar messed you up a bit.

Magna: No, I’m sure this is the way. It’s straight ahead but there’s a wall in the way.

Violen: I can fix that problem.

Moth: No! Don’t do that, we want to draw less attention to ourselves remember? You bash it with your mace and the whole building will know where we are.

Serges: So what do you suppose we do?

Crab: We could do the Hokey-Pokey!

Sponge: There’s nine doors and nine of us. Soooo…

Magna: Let’s split up gang!

Violen: No! I’ll get scared and lonely. I don’t wanna…

Serges: Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?

Violen: Oh boy, would I ever!

*Agile opens a door and Serges throws the snack into it. Violen rushes after it and they slam the door after him*

Flame: Riiiight.. Guess I’ll meet you guys at the control room.

Moth: If any of you get into trouble use your communicators.

Sponge: The signal is being jammed.

Moth: In that case run like crazy.

Crab: What if I run into Trump? I’ll freak out!

Agile: Just shoot at him or something. Oh yeah I forgot, you can’t. Cause you’re a sissy little.. *gets smacked by Serges*

Serges: *Whispers to Agile* Don’t anger them. We may need the help.

Magna: Good luck everybody.

*They go their separate ways. As Magna goes through the door he emerges upon a set that consists of a desk, couch, chair, a full audience and staff*

Magna: What in the world…

Oprah: Welcome back folks! I’m Oprah, super talk show host, and with me is the leader of the Code: Island Attackers: Magna Centipede!

Magna: Um… Hi.

Oprah: Isn’t he cute? This reminds me of the time when… blah..blah..blah… boring stuff… (You get the picture)

*Oprah talks non-stop*

Magna: I’m gonna leave before my ears start to bleed. *Goes through another door*

Dr. Phil: Hi, I’m Dr. Phil, have you come for my help?

Magna: Well that crowbar gave me one hell of a headache… And a dent…

Dr. Phil: Sorry I’m not that kind of Doctor. I can help you set a plan to lose weight though.

Magna: No thanks. Have you tried that weight loss program on yourself chubby?

Dr. Phil: What do you mean? I’m not chubby, the plan works! It… AHHHHHH!!! *Sob* I’m a fraud, a shame! I’ve led people astray! *Cries*

Magna: So much for this show..

*Next room*

Jerry Springer: Today on Jerry Springer: “Giant Bugs and the Women Who Love Them!”

Magna: I like this topic! C’mere ladies!

*A group of the ugliest trailer-park trash comes up on stage*

Magna: Now this is wrong. Does at least one of you have all their teeth? And I don’t know if this is possible but you smell worse than Gator after his sewer hunts.

Jerry: That’s not all folks, because here comes the jealous boyfriends.

*Before Magna has time to react he is hit in the head with a chair*

Crowd: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Jerry: That looked like it hurt. Now for my final thought.

Magna: You can say that again. *Bashes Jerry into the enraged red-necks and dashes out the door*

Magna: *Pant pant* Please let this be something good. I’m tired of these crappy morning talk shows.

Jay Leno: Then how about the Tonight Show?

David Letterman: No, I think he really wants to be on Late Night.

Conan O’Brien: You mean my Late Night right?

Letterman: No, you red-headed fool. Mine.

Leno: Forget it, he’s going on my show.

Magna: Listen guys, I don’t have time for…

Letterman: He’ll be on my show! He needs to do the Top Ten with me.

Leno: Oh please, that tired old thing? Now Headlines and Jay Walking on the other hand..

O’Brien: Triumph wants to mess with him.

Leno: That dog that pissed off Canada? No way!

O’Brien: Can I at least do my talking pictures bit?

Letterman: Yeah that’s OK… But Magna will still go on my show.

Leno: No. Mine.

O’Brien: Mine!

Letterman: Mine!

Leno: Tell you what, lets let him decide. OK Magna, who’s show do you..

*Everyone looks around only to find Magna has left*

Leno: Where’d he go?

Triumph: All the shows are great.. FOR ME TO POOP ON!

Magna: *Running down a corridor* (I sincerely hope somebody has it worse than I do. What a bunch of nut-jobs!)

*Meanwhile…*

Overdrive: (Now’s my chance to prove that I should be the true leader. Then we can stop this stupid kid stuff like playing “hero.”)

*As Overdrive goes through the door he sees a street corner. The door slams and locks behind him*

Overdrive: Damn! Don’t tell me I wound up outside?! *Looks up* No, I’m still inside, I can see all the lighting equipment. This must be some kind of set.

Elmo: Hi Big Bird! What are…. Hey, you’re not Big Bird!

Overdrive: AHHH! Don’t sneak up on me like that.

Elmo: What have you done to Big Bird? Everybody come!

Overdrive: Listen, I didn’t do anything, I just got here. Honest.

*The rest of Sesame Street surrounds Overdrive*

Grover: Villains need to be punished.

Bert: Let’s poke him with my paper clips!

Ernie: And let Rubber Duckie taunt him. *Squeak squeak*

Oscar the Grouch: No one gets away with hurting Big Bird!

Overdrive: I DIDN’T!!

*Just then the real Big Bird shows up*

Big Bird: What’s going on everybody? Are we having a party?

Overdrive: Thank God you’re here! They were going to… I don’t know, but it was really creepy!

Big Bird: …Another giant yellow talking bird. You know what that means boys and girls? Someone is trying to replace me. Get him!!!!

Overdrive: Holy Hell! *Takes off at full speed but stops short* Wait a minute. What am I running from? It’s just a bunch of stupid puppets.

*As the residents of Sesame Street run towards him, Overdrive lets loose a barrage of Sonic Slicers*

Grover: My arm! Gone it is!

Elmo: Ahhhhh! Elmo on fire!

*Such was the fate of the rest of them. And for good measure Overdrive set the entire place on fire*

Overdrive: Now that was gratifying. I hope the next door takes me to the control room. I hate kid shows. *Goes through door*

Barney: Look who’s here today kids! It’s Overdrive Ostrich. Isn’t he neat?

Overdrive: Aww man, this is much worse than crazed puppets… Muppets… Whatever.

Barney: Lets sing the “I Love You” song.

Overdrive: I have a better idea. Lets see how easy it is to make a Dinosaur extinct.

*Overdrive rushes by at blinding speed. A few moments later Barney’s head falls to the floor, followed by the rest of him a few seconds later*

Overdrive: I just did the world a favor. Please let this be it.

*Opens door. A grassy hillside is what it reveals*

Overdrive: This is a bit better than that classroom that abomination was in. At least I can sprint in here to cover some ground.

*Overdrive takes off running. He goes for a while until he comes to a strange dome-like structure*

Overdrive: I wonder what this thing is.

*As if in answer the Teletubbies pop out of it.*

Teletubbies: Play! Play! Play!

Overdrive: (Hmmm let’s see. I burned down Sesame Street and decapicitated Barney. What should I do to these guys? Oh I know!)

*Overdrive throws a Sonic Slicer into the gut of each Telitubby. The Slicers explode like bombs making the Tubbies do the same, littering the field with their parts*

Overdrive: Heh. Cool. *Walks through the next door*

Captain Kangaroo: Hi Overdrive.

Overdrive: *Sigh* Look “Captain” I’m getting tired of this, so unless you want to end up like the rest of them you’ll tell me how to get to the control room.

Captain: Of course. It’s through that door down the hall.

Overdrive: *Kinda surprised* Hey thanks. That’s the most helpful thing to happen all day.

Captain: No problem.

*Overdrive exits. After he leaves the Captian pulls out a cell phone*

Captain: He’s on his way sir. Everything is going as planned. Though we are going to need a new lineup. Mwahahahahahahah!!!!

To Be Continued…

The Christmas Party

February 25, 2014

*By GDT & Rebel4000*

*It was Christmas in the future city of Megalopolis, and everyone was giving presents and opening them*

Boy: Here you go mommy.

Woman: Oh, a boa constrictor! How–

Boa constrictor: *CHOMP*

*Yes, even the villains were in the joyous time of year, including Donald Trump…*

Donald Trump: Santa, no offense, but you’re fired.

Santa: Great, there goes my paycheck for the year…

Elf: But Santa, what about Christmas?

Santa: SHUT UP YOU ANNOYING PRICK AND HELP ME PACK!!

*The X-Hunters, in there newly built base, were exchanging gifts between one another…*

Serges: Here you are, Violen.

Violen: *Opens the box* Oh, wow! An official “I Love Lucy” stopwatch! It’ll go perfectly right next to my official “I Love Lucy” action figures! Thanks, Serges!

Serges: Aw, don’t mention it. And here’s your present Agile.

Agile: *Tears the paper off* Cool! A bunch of rusty knives! Now I can slit my wrists whenever I want! THANKS GUYS!!

Serges and Violen: Don’t mention it, buddy!

Man: Hey you guys! How many times do I have to tell you, get outta my dumpster!!

Agile: Quickly! Retreat!

*And even Dr. Wily back 20XX was celebrating Christmas… sort of*

Dr. Wily: Thank God I built that time machine to send that stupid navi back to his own time. Don’t you agree, Bass?

Bass: *In the time machine* What’cha say Wily?

Dr. Wily: Get out of there, you fool! If you’re not careful, this entire place could–

WARNING! WARNING! INSTABILITY HAS BEEN DETECTED! SELF-DESTRUCTION MODE ACTIVATED IN HO… HO… HOOOOOO!

*Bass then teleported away*

Dr. Wily: ……..Crud…

*The real story begins at the Island Attackers… uhhh… island…*

Overdrive: Hey Crab, what the hell are you eating.

Crab: “Retard Sandwich” yay!

Overdrive: What’s a “Retard Sandwich”?

Crab: Flamin Hot Cheetos, and Miracle Whip.

Overdrive: RIGHT.

Morph: Be quiet, I’m doing research on it ever since I found radioactivity emitting from it.

Wheel: But who picked the name?

Morph: Crab.

Wheel: Oh.

Magna: I’m bored…

Wheel: Me too.

Crystal: Zzzzz…

Wheel: Well see you guys I am going to town.

Magna: Meh!

*So Wheel Gator jumps in the sewer and goes to town*

BRINNG!

Overdrive: Since when do we have a phone?

Magna: Since I stole one.

Overdrive: Ohhh…

Flame: I’ll get it! Hello… Yeah right ok we will be there soon. Bye.

Wire: Who was it?

Flame: I don’t know but there’s a party at that old warehouse on 3rd Street.

Magna, Wire, Crab and Overdrive: PARTY!!

Magna: Well, let’s go!

*So the C:IA hopped it to their super shagadelic bus of the 70′s and headed to 3rd Street except Wheel, Morph and Crystal*

Overdrive: *Grinning* Nice. A keg.

Crab: YAY for cookies!

Magna: Lets not start that again.

Flame: Cool.

*Suddenly Bass shows up*

Overdrive: Damnit I just finished tapping the keg!

Crab: And I’m not finished with my cookies!

Bass: Well too bad, Island Attackers!

*Super indestructible cables pop out of the ground and enclose the Island Attackers*

Bass: HA! You’re all screwed now Island Attackers.

*Three stray cables drop to the floor*

Bass: Where are the rest of you…?

Wire: Oh, they’re off doing something stupid.

Bass: Makes sense.

Overdrive: *Reaches for beer hat*

Magna: Overdrive… what are you doing?!

Overdrive: It’s still a party right? I can’t leave a party until I throw up!

Magna: Why?

Overdrive: It’s the only time I get drunk.

Magna: Ahh…

*Overdrive throws up and it burns the cable around him freeing him*

Overdrive: Ohhhh, my head…

Flame: Woah, shouldn’t have had the punch… *Pukes*

Magna: *Gags himself with his tongue*

Crab: *Still eating cookies* Ohhh..*Pukes*

Wire: *Pukes*

Bass: You’re all disgusting. I’m out of here. *Leaves*

Overdrive: Wire, you didn’t eat or drink anything to puke and you didn’t gag yourself so what happened?

Wire: Crab’s “Retard Sandwich”.

Overdrive: Ahhh.

Magna: Welp, let’s go home…

*At IA’s base*

Magna: Hey Crystal, where’s Wheel?

Crystal: Zzzz… *Throws crinkled piece of paper at Magna*

Magna: “Wheel called, he’s in jail, and he didn’t leave a number. Sincerely, The Snail on the Couch”.

Magna: We have to go get Wheel out.

Overdrive: Naaa, lets just leave him there.

Flame: I’ll go get him.

*So Flame leaves to get Wheel out of jail*

Overdrive: Well I’m gonna hit the sack.

Crab: What sack, huh huh huh?

Overdrive: I am going to go to sleep.

Crab: What about hitting the sack?

Overdrive: …Shut up.

Crab: Yay for shutting up!

Morph: By the way Crab, did you know that your “Retard Sandwich” contained spider eggs?

Crab: Yep. I’m pregnant for Christmas! Yay!

Morph: Just checking.

*An hour later Flame comes back with Wheel*

Magna: Why were you in jail?

Wheel: Uhhh… I fed a diabetic horse?

Magna: Will someone please just end this stupid thing already?! Oh yeah, and SHUT UP!!

Wheel: Meanie.

The End

 

 

Frankenploid

February 19, 2014

*By Void Darkheart*

*It was the middle of the night, and like most sane people, the Island Attackers were all asleep soundly. Well, save for Bubble Crab and Morph Moth*

Crab: Now how do I infiltrate Donald Trump’s unknown fortress, defeat his army of evil, knock him out, drag him over here and secretly put him in the lab without anyone else noticing?

*While Crab plotted his arch-nemesis’ destruction, Moth battled a totally different villain of evil designs down in the lab*

Moth: Lets see… connect this wire to the servo… then plug it into this end of the power feeder… apply the lubricant where needed…

*Moth continued to attach wires and plugs and other technical things all through out the night. The following morning, A very loud explosion blasted through the kitchen, tossing out both Magna and Crab.*

Magna: That’s it PBX! You’ve stolen the last cookie from the jar for the last time! *charges at PBX, swinging his ‘tail’ around at the crustacean.*

Crab: I didn’t steal it! No one had claimed the cookie for themselves, so I just took it!

*Crab jumped backwards some and fired off the Bubble Splash at Magna, but Magna just teleported out of the way and behind Crab, punching at him*

Magna: Too slow!

*Moth flies into the kitchen, above the warring reploids, landing on the ground and going to fix him some food. As he fixes the food, Wire Sponge’s chain slams into the wall near him and drags himself over next to Moth*

Moth: Another cookie battle it seems. What do you think the outcome will be?

Sponge: Neither of them will get the cookie because Crab will end up crushing it when he gets knocked upside the head and falls onto it.

*Moth turned to look over at the warring crustacean and insect, watching as mines and bubbles flew back and forth between the two. As they battled, a very grumpy and foul mouthed (as in smell) Wheel Gator came into the kitchen*

Gator: Will you two please stop with all the noise? The rest of us are trying to sleep!

Crab: Yay for sleep!

*Gator finally swung at Crab, clobbering him upside the head, causing Crab to trip up and loose his grip on the cookie and crushing it between himself and the ground*

Moth: Looks like you were right.

Sponge: Not too hard to predict what those guys will do.

*Crab then jumped at Gator, firing off his Bubble Splash*

Crab: Death to the one who caused the cookie’s death!

*Gator prepared to fire off his Spin Wheel at Crab, but suddenly found himself wrapped up in Sponge’s Strike Chain while Crab was ensnared by Moth’s Silk Shot. Crab landed with a thud right in front of Gator, who then proceeded to squirm to kill the crustacean*

Crab: Yay for attempted murder!

Moth: One of these days I am going to find out what you run on that gives you all your energy there, Crab.

Magna: Wait a minute… you couldn’t use the Silk Shot like that before!

Moth: Well if X can modify our weapons to his whims, why can’t we?

*Moth started to fly off but stopped, heading over to one of the newly installed intercom units*

Moth: Team meeting in my lab! No exceptions!

Magna: Didn’t I tell you stop taking my lines?

Moth: *shrugs a bit* My lab, my rules.

*An hour later, down in Moth’s lab, the seven members of Code: Island Attackers gathered around Moth and a strangely shaped being covered in a large white cloth*

Crab: Yay! A new play buddy!

Gator: This isn’t about me eating that lady’s dog is it? He kept barking at us… and I was hungry…

Moth: Now, do you know why I called you guys down here today?

Magna: Checking out the new portable microwave ya made? *Points to the large cloth covered object*

Flame: Giant mutant purple potatoes!

Snail: Well, it looks about the size of a mattress, and, oh… I don’t know, no sense in… umm, trying to, uh, ummmm… figure it… ou- *falls asleep on cloth covered object*

*Moth sighs a bit, looking at the others, pushing Snail off of the object*

Moth: No, no, no, and most defiantly, no. Today, I am going to be showing you guys the latest in reploid technology!

*Moth pulls the cloth off the object, revealing the reploid that seems to be a giant puzzle of pieces from each of the C:IA members*

Moth: Fellow reploids, I present to you Frankenploid! Also responds to Frank and Ugly.

Frank: *Tries to bow, but fails*

Magna: Uh… Moth… why?

Moth: Because back when we worked for the X-Hunters, Serges said that there was no use for junk! Well he was wrong, and I just proved it. Frank here has all of our strengths, none of our weaknesses, and also a dash of Zero inside of him.

Overdrive: Why Zero?

Moth: Mainly so I don’t have to worry about him staying dead for long.

Everyone else: Ahhhh…

Crab: So what’s he do exactly? Make cookies? Oh! How about cakes?

Moth: He does all that and much more. Frank here shall be our new butler.

Sponge: Are you sure that… Frank, is safe?

Moth: Oh don’t worry. Frank wouldn’t hurt a fly.

*Just then the doorbell rang*

Reploid at door: Island-to-Island Salesman!

*Frank then began a mad rush towards the door, trampling over the team*

Gator: I thought you said he wouldn’t hurt a fly?

Moth: Salesmen aren’t flies, now are they?

*The following day, in the kitchen…*

*Frank walks in carrying a cookie sheet full of cookies, only to be attacked by Crab who runs off with the fresh pastries*

Crab: Yay for cookies!

Frank: Soon… soon they shall be the ones making the cookies…

Crab: Yay for backstabbers!

Frank: I said nothing about that.

*Crab blinked and wandered off with the cookies*

*The day after that, in the living room…*

Frank: Not only will the C:IA be under my control, but so will the entire reploid race, and then, the world!

Overdrive: Hey now! Taking over the C:IA is my thing!

Frank: Not this C:IA.

Overdrive: Oh… right… carry on then.

*The next day…*

Frank: Metalloy melts at a temperature equal to ten thousand suns put together, interesting,

Moth: Too bad the fact that having that many suns in one spot causes the entire universe to implode on itself.

Frank: Bwah!

*Moth chuckles and flies off*

Frank: Soon I shall have my revenge on you, my creator! Soon!

*After that day…*

*Gator walks out of the sewers and into the kitchen*

Frank: I… just… cleaned… the floor…

*A few days later…*

Sponge: So… when do you think good old Frank will attack?

Moth: I keep telling you guys, he won’t be a problem.

*A loud explosion then echoed through the halls*

Sponge: Right… that sounded like it came from your lab.

Moth: Let’s go check it out.

*The two reploids hurried to Moth’s lab to find it in near ruins, Magna just outside*

Moth: Magna! You didn’t try to touch the portable microwave again, did you?

Magna: No! It was like this when I got here!

Moth: Likely story…

*Flame then came rushing into the area*

Flame: I hate to tell you guys, but Frank just busted out of the base!

Magna: What? Quickly! We must stop him!

*Sponge, Flame, and Magna quickly ran off, leaving Moth back at his lab*

Moth: Hey guys! Wait… eh… forget it. They shouldn’t be hurt too bad.

*Minutes later, the C:IA minus Moth landed in the flying van and got out, standing in Frank’s path*

Magna: Remember team! This thing has all our powers, so expect everything!

Everyone else: Right!

*Magna turned around just in time for Frank to shoot off a Silk Shot right in his face. The rest of the team then began to unleash their attacks on Frank while Magna picked himself off of the ground. Unfortunately for them, all of their attacks bounced right off of Frank*

Frank: Fools! I am both impervious to your weapons AND covered in 100% Metalloy!

*As soon as Magna got up, he quickly teleported behind Frank and activated his attraction, clamping his tail onto Frank’s mid-section. He quickly then began to upload the first of many viruses, only to have his tail yanked off violently by Frank*

Magna: Gah! Do you know how much that stings?

Frank: A lot more for you than it did for me.

*Frank then threw Magna’s tail at him just as Gator, Flame, and Overdrive charged at him. Crab stood back, shooting off the Bubble Splash at Frank while Gator launched Spin Wheels, Flame threw Speed Burners, and Overdrive flat out beat into Frank. At that point Frank quickly unleashed a large blast of energy, throwing the four around him back and away*

Frank: How utterly annoying you all are.

*Frank found himself suddenly trapped inside crystal due to Snail’s Crystal Hunter attack striking. Snail quickly followed up by jumping into his shell and flying quickly at the crystallized Frankenploid. Frank quickly broke out of his crystal prison and flew up into the air, activating Crystal Snail’s time slow, causing the team to start moving really slowly, save for Snail himself.*

Snail: Ha! That doesn’t work on me!

Frank: No, it doesn’t, but Magnet Mines sure do wonders.

*Frank quickly fired of a slew of Magnet Mines at Tuna, freezing up his circuits. He then landed and using Overdrive’s speed, ran around physically beating up on the team with a combination of Flame and Gator’s strength. By the time the time slow effect wore off, the entire team was badly beaten and on the ground*

Magna: He’s unstoppable!

Crab: And he’s everywhere!

*The team quickly got up and looked around, noting that Crab was right in the fact that Frank had surrounded them in a big circle*

Sponge: Wait a minute now! None of us can do anything like that!

Frank: Oh? Didn’t you know? I installed a clone machine in myself.

Magna: Great… we’re dealing with not only a Frankenploid, but a GODMODDING Frankenploid.

Sponge: No… no one is going to beat me like this… NO ONE!

*Sponge shook with rage, slowly turning from his usual green color to a red one. As he did so, Frank quickly reformed into one being while the rest of the team began to scatter*

Frank: What the…?

*The berserk Sponge quickly flew at Frank, colliding with a loud crash, the shock-wave impacting the ground some. Sponge tossed Frank up into the air and quickly followed after, the two starting to exchange punches and kicks with each other. While that was going on, the other members of the team had set up chairs and were sitting in them, eating popcorn*

Flame: Better than Dragon Ball Z!

Magna: That’s not saying much.

*While up in the air, Sponge tossed his Strike Chain at Frank, wrapping it around him. He then began to spin around, sending thousands of volts through the chain and into Frank before the chain let loose and launched Frank up into the air. Angered, Frank throw a flurry of Sonic Slicers down at Sponge, cutting up his chain*

Snail: Zzz…

Overdrive: So who do you think will win?

Magna: Well, you have to remember, Frank was made by someone who thought our butler needed to be more powerful than we are, and ended up turning him into a Godmodder. Ti-An there is currently being powered almost entirely by the maverick virus deep inside of him. In the end, it’ll come down to who loses their god-hood first.

Gator: Either way we’re screwed in the end.

Crab: Yay!

*Sponge wasted no time in unleashing more of the virus’s power, firing off blast after blast of energy at Frank, trying to hit him. Frank kept flying left and right, dodging the blasts, one of the stray ones slamming into the ground near where the others were sitting, a shower of dirt and rocks falling on them*

Snail: Mh? Is it over yet…?

Flame: Almost.

Snail: Ok… zzz…

*With a quick and hard punch, Frank slammed Sponge back down and into the ground. Sponge got out of the hole he made in the ground before collapsing in front of the others*

Frank: Enough of this foolishness. I have other things to tend to than you weaklings.

*Frank then began to fly off towards the nearest city, leaving the CIA to watch him. Just as he got close to the city, Frank teleported in a beam of light away and towards the C:IA base*

Magna: Huh? Quickly! Back to base!

*The team quickly boarded the flying van and flew back towards their base as could be safely allowed. Back at the base they make a search of the perimeter before heading inside, eventually heading inside and to Moth’s lab, finding Moth just finish shutting a panel on Frank*

Moth: And that should be that.

Magna: Moth! What’s going on here?

*Moth turned and looked over at the battered and beaten group*

Moth: Oh, hey guys. You really shouldn’t have rushed off so quickly. I was going to tell you guys that I had programmed Frank here with an emergency teleport if he got too close to a city.

*The team just stared at Moth for a while, a little dumbstruck*

Moth: So as I said before, there was no need to worry about him harming anyone.

*The team still stared at Moth, time seeming to have slowed a bit*

Moth: I also figured out why Frank did what he did. Seems he had a strain of the Maverick Virus in him. I’m not sure how it got there really. All the parts scanned as free of the virus when I was building him. Oh well. I was able to isolate and contain the virus for the time being.

Magna: You mean…

Flame: We just…

Sponge: You are dead Void.

Snail: Zzzz… Beat… Void…

Crab: Yay for unneeded battles!

Gator: I think I’m going to go crazy…

*Overdrive cracked his knuckles as he and the rest of the team advanced on Moth*

Moth: Hey guys… calm down… there’s no need to be that upset… is there? Right?

Magna: SHUT UP!!

The End

 


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