Dissed in the Digital World (Part 6)

July 22, 2014

*Written by Rebel4000 and Shadowstrike*

*The two opposing teams, Alpha Movement and Code: Island Attackers, were still attacking one another relentlessely, with neither Reploid nor Digimon showing any signs of stopping. The battle quickly turned into a fight for survival.*

Rebel: *sneaking around in the smoke* (All I have to do is get close to this guy and latch my tail onto him… after that it’ll be easy pick–) What!? *notices he has a tentacle wrapped around his leg*

Jade: Got you!

*Rebel is quickly dragged over to Jade*

Rebel: How in the world did you find me?

Jade: You aren’t as sneaky as you think you are, Rebel. You’ve still got a long ways to go before you can call yourself a true ninja.

Rebel: Is that so? *disappears*

Jade: Drat! I forgot that he could do that. Well, he’s gotta be around here somewhere… *uses his tentacles again*

*Elsewhere, the two Dark Knight’s were continuing their battle…*

Dark Knight: *Blade caught inbetween pincers* …Hmph! Not bad.

DK: I could say the same…

*DK pushes forward, knocking Dark Knight’s sabre out of his hands and onto the floor behind him. Dark Knight merely glances back for a moment before letting out a small laugh.*

DK: What’s so funny?

Dark Knight: Honestly, I can’t believe I am having difficulty in terminating such a puny looking Reploid. Obviously I must have grown careless. Then again… *leaps back and picks his sabre up* I suppose it might more than a coincidence that we share the same name!

DK: There can only be one Dark Knight in this world–there’s just not enough room! *lunges with the pincers*

Dark Knight: I couldn’t agree more! *charges*

*During Anime Master and Metabad’s battle*

AM: Quit following me around!

Metabad: WHY THOUGH I’M TRYING SO HARD TO RAWK!!

AM: Exactly. So leave me… *smacks Metabad with his trunk* …alone!

Metabad: I’VE GOTTA RAAAAAAAAAAWK… *goes flying into the distance*

*The Digimon, too, were continuing their battle of epic proportions…*

Taomon: Don’t let up! Hit them with everything we’ve got! *dodges a blast*

Grademon: Hey, hey! I’m the leader of the CIA’s Digimon so I should be saying that! *gets hit*

Hisharyuumon: The Alpha Movement will prevail! Seiryuu Jin! *morphs into a giant blade and attacks*

MegaSeadramon: Don’t think so! *grabs the blade with his mouth and throws it*

Garudamon: Take cover! *takes to the skies to avoid the blade*

GrappLeomon, Tankdramon, Sagittarimon, Vamdemon, and Shawujinmon Ahh!! *is hit by the blade*

Lilamon: I won’t let you hurt Dark Knight!

Lillymon: No, I won’t let you hurt Dark Knight!

Lilamon: That’s what I just said!

Lillymon: Mine is more correct!

*They both attack each other at the same, flying backwards. Meanwhile, inside the ship…*

Barbamon: It certainly is a wonderful thing seeing our enemies fight amongst one another. And here I thought we would have to get our hands messy.

iX: *to himself* Not like it ain’t a bad thing…

Leviamon: Enough pointless banter. Let’s find that emerald!

iX: Do we even know if that thing is here? The only reason why we came here was because Mr. Big Bucks over there wanted to.

Trump: Do you dare doubt the power of the dollar?

Lilithmon: Enough you two. I can sense it… there is an emerald here. Can’t you as well, Barbramon?

Barbamon: Yes… so let’s hurry and find it.

Trump: If I know those Island Attackers, that Morph Moth must have studied it out of his scientific nature. We should find his lab and start there.

Eggman: Leave it to me. I know a lab when I see one!

*The villains follow Eggman down a corridor until he stopps at a door and opens it. Certainly enough, it was Void’s lab.*

iX: Not bad, gramps. How’d you figure it out?

Eggman: There was a sign on the door.

iX: *smacks self*

Leviamon: Then let’s start looking! *smashes a cabinet open*

Eggman: Quiet! What if someone heard you?

Barbamon: With all of those fools out there beating one another up, I highly doubt it.

Lilithmon: Still, Leviamon, be a bit more careful.

Leviamon: Right, right…

*They check every single nook and cranny in the laboratory. Unfortunately, the elusive emerald could not be found.*

iX: Gah, I’m tired of looking! I give up!!

Eggman: You’re going to give up, just like that? Surely we were just mistaken of where it could possibly be, correct?

Trump: *thinking* …Check Rebel’s room. That could be the only other place.

Leviamon: This is pointless! Why would such an important emerald just be lying in someone’s room? Lilithmon, are you sure you sensed it?

Lilithmon: …Yes. Let’s check the leader’s room.

*As they walk outside the lab they notice a someone walking down the hallway. It was a black hedgehog holding three emeralds.*

Shadow: Hah, that was far too easy. These fools need to stop leaving their emeralds left unguarded… Not like I’m complaining, though.

Eggman: *chokes* I-it’s him! Shadow the Hedgehog!

Lilithmon, Barbramon, Leviamon: What!?

Shadow: *whirls around* Who’s there? *sees Eggman* Eggman! What are you doing here!?

Eggman: *smiles evily* Hohohoh… Shadow… what impeccable timing! We’ve been looking for you quite a while, see, and I…

Barbamon: You have the last three emeralds! Give them to me!

Shadow: You think I’m just gonna give them to you? Think again.

*Shadow uses Chaos Control and bolts down the hallway, leaving the villains stuck in place, incapable of doing anything. After a minute or so passed, they were able to move freely.*

Eggman: Curses! He’s gotten away!

Barbamon: A tenacious cockroach…

Lilithmon: And like all cockroaches, he needs to be squashed…

iX: Let’s kick his ass!

*Back to the clash of two teams…*

Seadragon: *notices Shadow right behind him* Hey, you’re pretty fast!

Shadowstrike: Faster than you! *jumps into the air and fires off a couple Sonic Slicers*

Seadragon: *weaves through the barrage* Hah, is that all you’ve got? *spins around and fires a Storm Tornado*

Shadowstrike: *is thrown backwards* Waaah!!

*Meanwhile…*

Brick: I’VE GOTTA GET THIS CRAZY DRUNK SETTLED DOWN!!

Majin: ROROROROROROR *bites Brick*

Brick: HE’S BITTEN ME!! I’VE GOT RABIES I TELL YOU!! RABIES!! *runs around flailing his arms*

Majin: *howls*

*With Spark and Outlaw…*

Spark: You may have taken my arm, but I’ll make sure to take your life by the time I’m through!

Outlaw: …Bring it.

Spark: *punches the ground* Electric Spark! *electricity surges toward Outlaw*

Outlaw: Don’t think so!

*Outlaw jumps into the air and starts to spin rapidly toward Spark, diminishing the electricity on the way. As Outlaw nears the surprised AM member, Spark grabs Outlaw with his one hand, feeling his hand slowly break off as Outlaw screeches to a stop, before getting thrown off in another direction.*

Outlaw: Ahhhh!!

Spark: Damn, he’s almost completely crippled me… doesn’t look good…

*As Spark tended his wounds, Sean and Darksage were continuing their epic battle…*

Darksage: So, everyime someone says “It could be worse” you get shocked?

Sean: *shocked* …Yes.

Darksage: I suppose it could always be worse, then, eh?

Sean: *shocked* Stop saying that!

Darksage: Well, it could be worse, I’m afraid.

Sean: *shocked again* (Actually… he’s right.)

*With Sean reaching this shocking conclusion, Void and Blackbelt were making some conclusions of their own…*

Void: I am telling you, Newton’s theory on gravitational pull is completely sound. There are hardly any faults in it!

Blackbelt: That is where you are wrong. Words such as “hardly” just doesn’t cut it in the world of science! That is why it’s still considered a theory.

Void: Blasphemy! And I suppose you have something better?

Blackbelt: Actually, I do. Now listen, gravity is all caused by… *sees Shadow behind Void* …Chaos Emeralds?

Void: Gravitational pull is caused by Chaos Emeralds?

Blackbelt: No, that Shadow guy has three of them! *points*

Void: *turns around* You’re right! One of them was one we found, too!

Blackbelt: And those other two belonged to us! The thief!

Void: …Temporary truce?

Blackbelt: Deal.

*The two Reploids shake hands as they face a common adversary.*

Blackbelt: Now… LET’S KICK HIS ASS!!

Void: Charge!! *fires out a web of silk*

Shadow: *is ensnared* What’s going on here!?

Blackbelt: *curls up into a ball and rams into Shadow*

Shadow: *goes flying off the ship* MARIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH…

Blackbelt: All right! Now, I’ll be taking these… *reaches for the emeralds, only to be blocked off*

Void: No, I’ll be taking them! They must be studied in the name of science!

Blackbelt: Wrong! They must be studied in the name of the Maverick Virus!

Void: I guess the truce is off, then…

Seadragon: Move outta the way! *zooms by, taking the emeralds*

Blackbelt: Way to go, SD!

Void: No!

Seadragon: Now, I’ve just gotta take these emeralds to a safe location–

Shadowstrike: Don’t think so! *grabs SD by the feet, yanking him backwards*

Seadragon: Ack! You again!

Shadowstrike: I’ll be taking these. *takes the emeralds and throws SD back*

Seadragon: Nooo!! *crashes into the ground*

Shadowstrike: I’m gonna make it!!

Spark: Don’t think so, kid!

*Using what’s left of his remaining hand, Spark rips off a large piece metal off the top of the ship and flings it toward Shadowstrike, hitting him in the side, causing the emeralds to go flying out of his hands.*

Jade: I’ve got it! *grabs them with his tentacles*

Rebel: *sneaks up behind Jade and takes the emeralds* No, I’ve got it!

Darksage: *steals the emeralds with his tongue* You’re not the only one who can disappear!

*Immediately Darksage blends in with the ship, and slithers over to the opposite side. As soon as reappears, however, Outlaw goes right through the flooring beneath him to grab the emeralds with his mouth.*

Outlaw: *mouth full* This ship tastes like an actual whale!

Dark Knight: No one cares, fang face!! *zips by and takes the emeralds*

Outlaw: Wha!?

Dark Knight: Now that we have gotten back what was rightfully ours, we can resume this petty battle… *starts to slow down* Hold on a moment… why am I slowing down?

Sean: *using his powers* Someone, quick, catch him!

Metabad: RAWKIN CATCH!! *tackles Dark Knight, sliding into DK*

DK: *jumps on top of the two* We’ve got the faker!

AM: I don’t think so! *slathers their path full of oil*

Metabad, Dark Knight, DK: Whoa!! *spins out of control*

Brick: THE RABIES!! I’M FOAMING AT THE MOUTH HERE!! *is plowed into*

Dark Knight: *lets go of the emeralds* Nooo!!

*Everyone watches as the emeralds go flying up into the air once more. As they continue moving forward, they all see that they are heading toward Majin.*

Rebel: Majin!!

Void: Get the emeralds!!

Jade: No, stop him!!

Blackbelt: We can’t let him take them from us!!

Majin: why do the sparklies sparkle???

DK: You stupid drunk!

Dark Knight: *advancing* Keep acting stupid!

Majin: THEY HURT ME EYES

*At that moment, Majin pulled out a Strike Chain and hit the emeralds with it, making them get sent back. The emeralds fly over the heads of all the members as they watch in shock, until it lands at the feet of a particular group as a man bends over to grab them. Everyone, including the Digimon, who had been so preoccupied beating one another up, stop to look at the intruders.*

Barbamon: *holding the emeralds* …And with this we have all seven…

Leviamon: And it’s all thanks to you fools!

Void: Wait a tick, just what in the world is going on here?

iX: You would like to know that, wouldn’t ya!?

Seadragon: iX!?

Blackbelt: What are you doing here… and Eggman too!

Eggman: Hohoho… you honestly didn’t think that our last encounter would be the end, would it?

Rebel: Of all the damn… Trump too!?

Trump: So we meet again, Island Attackers. I hope you are ready to be fired from your duty as heroes.

Majin: lol wut

Darksage: All right, just what in the world is going on here?

Barbamon: It’s all very simple… we are a part of the Seven Great Demon Lords, and together we have come together to search for the Chaos Emeralds in hope of ruling a dimension!

Void: “A” dimension?

Leviamon: There are hundreds of thousands of dimensions. With the power of the Chaos Emeralds, traveling to them is an easy matter!

Lilithmon: And we have plenty to choose from because of this… a new dimension for us to dominate!

Eggman: That is why we were gathered together. We were promised that if we assisted them we would be able to rule this dimension for ourselves.

Trump: As you know, Island Attackers, what you have done to me has ruined my public image. This was by far the best option after the Demon Lords busted me out of jail.

iX: But who cares–we’ve got asses to kick!

GrappLeomon: Hold!

Grademon: *Crossing blades and standing in front of Rebel* We can’t let you do that.

Leviamon: You puny ultimates? You are nothing to us! You won’t even scratch us.

Hisharyuumon: We have to at least try. Evil such as you should not be allowed to exist.

Barbamon: Trying is what will get weaklings killed! Crimson Flame! *Barbamon raises his Staff as hellish flames engulf the digimon of the two teams*

Shawujinmon: Waterfall Formation! *spins his staff causing a tornado of water to douse the flames around the 16 Ultimates, then sending the tornado towards Lliithmon.*

Leviamon: *swings his tail, destroying the Tornado, and sends Shaujinmon flying into the wall behind him.*

GrappLeomon: Turbine Kick! *tries to kick Lillithmon, only to be slashed by her Nazer Nail*

MagnaAngemon: My blade can destroy any evil soul! Excalibur! *goes to slash Barbamon, but fails as he catches the blade in his bare hand* Wha! *Barbamon snaps the blade in half and blasts MagnaAngemon into the wall using Pandemonium Lost*

Tankdramon: Gattling Blast! *Fires 3600 missles at Leviamon, at point blank range* Now I’ve got you!

Leviamon: *Each missles hits him, but is unphased* No, you didn’t. Cauda! *He slams his tail on the ground, causing a massive jet of water to slam into TankDramon*

Taomon: Talisman of Light! *uses her brush to draw a symbol, which blasts Lillithmon, but has no effect.*

Lilithmon: You really must try harder, one would think you’re not even trying! *stabs Taomon with her claw, then throws her to the side*

Sagittarimon: You want something tougher? Take this, Judgement Arrow! *fires a three pronged arrow at Lilithmon*

Lilithmon: *dodges the arrow* You call that tough? I’ve seen far better! *slashes Sagittarimon with her claw* Phantom Pain! *spews the deadly mist on his wound*

Sagittarimon: The mist! It… burns… *collapses*

Lillymon: *flies up above Barbamon* Time for you for to fall! Flower Cannon! *Summons a flower bulb and fires a blast of energy at Barbamon*

Barbamon: Pandimonium Flare! *The flame engulfs the small blast of energy, until it slams into Lillymon, who falls to the ground ablaze.*

Lilamon: Lilac Dagger! *Forming a dagger in her arm, she tries to sever lillithmon’s clawed hand, only to be slashed by it, then kicked to the wall*

Raidramon: MegaSeadramon, lets try to a double attack.

MegaSeadramon: All right. Thunder Javelin!

Raidramon: Blue Thunder! *The two electric based attacks fuse to form a massive lightning bolt. The bolt slams into Leviamon, who winces slightly*

Leviamon: Admirable effort, but still not enough. Cauda!

*He again bashes his tail into the ground, causing another torrent of water to form, this time smashing into MegaSeadramon and Raidramon, sending them crashing into the wall and still continued to blast them.*

Vamdemon: Bloody Stream! *he throws his blood red energy whip at Lillithmon * Time for you to suffer!

Lilithmon: *The energy whip crashes into her, but does nothing.* Your power is weak for one who could have so much more. *around her, the whip turns a deep shade of purple, and slowly creeps up Vamdemon. The purple crashes into him, overloading his systems with a virus.*

Cyberdramon: Grrrr…Cyber Nail! *jumps on Leviamon’s back, clawing madly at his back.*

Metabad: NOW THAT’S HOW YOU RAWK!

Leviamon: Annoying pest. *rolls over on his back, crushing Cyberdramon onto the ground.*

Metabad: …Never mind.

Garudamon: Wing Blade! *The giant bird fires a giant bird of flame, and has it fly right at Barbamon*

MetalGreymon X: Giga Blaster! *fires two huge missles at Barbamon*

Barbamon: Hmph. *appears behind MetalGreymon X and kicks him into his own missles, then soon appears behind Garudamon and throws her into her own flames*

Hisharyuumon: *transforms into a blade yet again* Grademon, we are the only one’s left.

Grademon: We can’t give up! *grabs the massive blade and charges towards Barbamon*

Barbamon: Your allies have fallen, why do you continue to fight?

Grademon: I have to, if I don’t no one will! *slashes at Barbamon, only for Barbaman to blast the blade, causing it fly out of his hand, and send Hisharyuumon flying towards the wall.*

Lilithmon: *slashes at Grademon* Your finished!

Grademon: *blocks with his twin blades* No I’m not! Grade Slash! *Slashes Lillithmon, to no effect, who backhands him into Leviamon, who slams Grademon with his tail*

Leviamon: That was tiresome, now let- *He stops as Grademon gets up* You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re finished. Just stay down.

Grademon: I won’t let you win. I can’t! I WON’T! *a light flares up out of him, covering him and the 7 other digimon of his team in it.* DIGIVOLVE!

*The light dies down, and in Grademon’s place, is Alphamon, Legendary leader of the Royal Knights. Next to him stands Gaiomon, MetalGreymonX’s digivolved form.On the other side of Alphamon, is Justimon, the mega form of Cyberdramon, In the air above them hovers Magnamon, Sakuyamon, Seraphimon, and Rosemon, the mega formns of Raidramon, Taomon, MagnaAngemon, and Lilamon respectfully. Behind them all coils the massive form that is MetalSeadramon, the mega form of MegaSeadramon.*

Alphamon: You are all going down.

Leviamon: What is this!?

Lilithmon: It… it can’t be…

Barbamon: Alphamon!? How is it possible for a Royal Knight to be hidden amongst such weak Digimon!?

Magnamon: Don’t forget about me, either!

Lilithmon: *to Barbamon and Leviamon* That makes two… more than enough to match us three with their other partners.

Hisharyuumon: …That’s it! Look at those Demon Lords… they’re on the defensive now!

Vamdemon: Are you saying what I believe you are saying?

Hisharyuumon: Yes… we must Digivolve now!

Tankdramon: But what about the power of the Maverick Virus?

Garudamon: We cannot rely on it at this point… we must defeat our enemies!

Shawujinmon: He’s right! Let’s do this!

Hisharyuumon: DIGIVOLVE!!

*Another blast of light covers the Alpha Movement’s Digimon, causing them to Digivolve. At the front is Ouryuumon, the digivolved form of Hisharyuumon. Behind him stand Rosemon, Hououmon, BanchouLeomon, Darkdramon, Zanbamon, VenomVamdemon, and JumboGamemon, the digivolved forms of Lillymon, Garudamon, GrappLeomon, Tankdramon, Sagittarimon, Vamdemon, and Shawujinmon respectively. They all stand right next to the CIA’s Digimon, tall and proud.*

Lilithmon: Them as well!?

Leviamon: They are all at the Mega level… what should we do?

Barbamon: Heheheh… do not forget my comrades, we have the power of the Chaos Emeralds. There is no way we can lose!

Sakuyamon: If that’s how you feel, then prepare to be terminated. Amethyst Wind!!

*Sakuyamon creates a powerful gust of wind that flings hundreds of purple shards at the Demon Lords. Immediately all three of them move out of the way, seemingly dodging the fatal attack. To a trained eye, however, they were actually littered with cuts all over.*

Lilithmon: Grrr… you wench! You will pay for that! *lunges at Sakuyamon with her Nazer Claw*

Rosemon: Rosy Cradle! *grabs Lilithmon and flips her over on her back*

Rosemon: Ivy Hug! *multiple vines sprout and wrap themselves around Lilithmon*

Lilithmon: W-what is this!?

Sakuyamon: You’re own demise. *jumps into the air and performs a Spirit Kick, straight at Lilithmon’s head*

Lilithmon: NOOOOOOO!! *tears out of vines and grabs Sakuyamon by the foot, shoving her back* You stupid Digimon! I am a Demon Lord–you three are nothing! You stand no chance of defeating me!

Rosemon: Perhaps you are right.

Rosemon: Then again, maybe you aren’t.

Lilithmon: What did you say!?

Magnamon: I believe she said, “You lose.”

Lilithmon: *turns and faces Magnamon* …You. “Royal” Knight. You dare to challenge me?

Magnamon: It’s a tempting offer, but I didn’t want to ruin this cat fight. *smirks*

Lilithmon: Hmph! Please humor me.

Magnamon: Very well. Magna Blaster!! *fires a few energy bullets*

Lilithmon: *dodges the bullets* Nazer Nail!

Magnamon: *blocks the claw with his gauntlet, feeling the poison eat at his armor*

Lilithmon: *lets go* Phantom Pain!! *spews mist*

Magnamon: *jumps to the side* Magna Kick!

Lilithmon: *is kicked in the side and goes flying back* You… will pay for this. *gets back up*

Magnamon: The only one who is going to pay is yourself!

Lilithmon: It appears I should stop going easy on you. Very well. Prepare to feel my true might… Darkness Love!

Magnamon: Not if I can help it! Magna Explosion!

*In a brilliant dispay Magnamon unleashes a powerful energy wave from his body, which collides into Lilithmon’s attack. The two attacks lock in place, each trying to overwhelm the other, until the Magna Explosion breaks through and strikes Lilithmon dead-on, causing her to scream in pain until she turns into data and disappears.*

Magnamon: …Whew. That was tough.

Sakuyamon: No time for relaxing, Magnamon. We’ve got work to do.

Magnamon: Right!

*Over with Leviamon and the other CIA and AM Digimon…*

Leviamon: So, now all of you are Mega. Does this mean I will finally get a worthy challenge?

Gaiomon: If you mean us earning our payback, then yes.

Leviamon: Hahah… Fool! I will tear you apart and eat you myself!

Seraphimon: In the name of all that is holy, we will purge your viral form from this world! Strike of the Seven Stars! *fires seven holy orbs at Leviamon*

Leviamon: *takes the attack head on* Oof!! No… no!! Not a seraph! Anything but that!

Seraphimon: I see that my mere presense frightens you.

Hououmon: That is our advantage! Let’s get him! Crimson Flames!

Gaiomon: Rinkageki!

*The combined attacks strike Leviamon as he attempts to run away from the imposing form of Seraphimon.*

Leviamon: N-no fair… Get away from me!! Cauda!! *slams his tail on the ground, causing the entire ship to shake violently along with water spraying everywhere*

Seraphimon: W-what are you doing!?

Gaiomon: He’s going crazy! At this rate he’ll crack the ship open like an egg!

Hououmon: Let us hurry!

*The three Digimon advance toward him but are knocked back by Leviamon’s rampage.*

Ouryuumon: Allow me to assist you!

VenomVamdemon: And I as well!

MetalSeadramon: Don’t forget about me!

*The three large Digimon wrestle with Leviamon, holding him down*

Leviamon: L-let me go!!

MetalSeadramon: Quiet.

Ouryuumon: *struggling* Seraphimon, now!!

Seraphimon: Right! Hallowed Ascension! *summons a powerful bolt of lightning to crash right on top of Leviamon*

Leviamon: IT BURNS!!

Ouryuumon: And now to finish this–Eiseiryuuoujin!! *stabs Leviamon in the head with both of his blades*

Leviamon: AHHHHHHH!! *erupts into data and scatters*

VenomVamdemon: Now, let us destroy the rest of these pathetic fools.

Everyone else: Right!

*Finally, at the site of the final battle stood Barbamon and Alphamon and his companions.*

Barbamon: So, Alphamon… to think that the two of us would have a face off.

Justimon: Hey, what about us!?

JumboGamemon: If you think we are just going to stand back and watch you two fight, then you are sadly mistaken!

Alphamon: Unfortunately, he is right. I want you all to stand back and let me handle this.

Darkdramon: What? Why!?

Zanbamon: Bah! Don’t listen to this guy! Besides, we aren’t even on the same team!

BanchouLeomon: Wait. Can you not see it? This is what they call… destiny.

Justimon: Destiny?

BanchouLeomon: Yes… they were destined for this. Just the two of them. We cannot interfere.

Darkdramon and Zanbamon: …Very well.

Justimon: All right, then. Alphamon, as much as I’d love to help, it seems like everything rests on your shoulders. Sorry.

Alphamon: Don’t worry about it. Now… *summons his legendary sword, Gradalpha*

Barbamon: Heheheh… Destiny may be correct… after all… Alphamon is to forever rule over the empty seat. Why is it now that you appear?

Alphamon: Because not only is the Digital World in danger, but every dimension in existance.

Barbamon: How true! But enough idle chitchat. It is time for you to die! Crimson Flame!

Alphamon: *deflects the spell with his sword* Yaaaaaaaah!! *swings his sword*

Barbamon: *blocks it with his staff, which snaps from the pressure* My staff!

Alphamon: Digitalize of Soul! *fires multiple green rings from his hand*

Barbamon: *hit full force* Ack!! I don’t believe it… The battle has hardly started and yet you already have the upper hand.

Alphamon: Did you assume otherwise?

Barbamon: Not at all… but I refuse to accept this as “destiny”. Prepare to face my true might! Pandemonium Lost!

Alphamon: What!? *is suddenly caught in a violent explosion*

Justimon: Alphamon!!

Zanbamon: He’s dead already!?

Barbamon: Bwahahahahah!! Die you fool! Go back to the Digital World as a pathetic Digi Egg! Hahah!!

*As the dust clears, a sword flies by as it stabs Barbamon in the chest, causing him to scream as he stebs back, clutching the mighty weapon with his hands until he pulls it out, severly wounded.*

Barbamon: Impossible…!!

Alphamon: *reappears* But it is.

Barbamon: *falls to his knees, and with a shudder, turns into data and scatters*

BanchouLeomon: He did it!

Darkdramon: All right!

Rebel: HECK YEAH!! Way to go, Alphamon! And to think I doubted you just because you were slow in digivolving to your Rookie form… I’m not worthy!

Metabad: AND D00D JUSTIMON EVEN THOUGH YOU DIDN’T FIGHT AT ALL YOU HELPED ADD TO THE RAWKSOMENESS BY LIKE 15 TIMES!! *rawks*

Justimon: *sighs*

Ouryuumon: Is it over?

Jade: Ouryuumon! Did you and the others take care of Leviamon and Lilithmon?

Magnamon: Pretty much. Everything is practically wrapped up.

Sakuyamon: And the good news is is that the Chaos Emeralds are now in safe hands.

Void and Blackbelt: What a relief… Eh? *stares at each other before turning away*

Shadowstrike: So in the end Veemon was also a part of the Royal Knights. Sweet!

Majin: PATTY HELP BEAT BIG CROCO THING!!!

Outlaw: Hey, now, don’t be trying to use those words so lightly, ‘kay?

Spark: *arm duct taped back on* So what now? Do we continue fighting?

Dark Knight: Yes! *faces DK* I will show you who the real Dark Knight is!

DK: Oh, really?

Seadragon: *ignoring them* Things seem pretty peaceful now…

Sean: Yeah. Sure hope it stays like this.

Trump: I hope you idiots didn’t forget about us.

Sean: DAMNIT!!

*The CIA and AM turn to face Trump, Eggman, and iX.*

Eggman: I honestly can’t believe that you defeated the Demon Lords. But we will still be taking the prize! *pulls out a vacuum*

Brick: What the heck is that!?

Eggman: It’s the Egg Sucker!

*Everyone bursts out laughing.*

Eggman: What!?

Void: Egg Sucker? How original.

Rebel: Says the guy who made Frankenploid.

Void: Quiet you.

iX: Seriously, I’m with them. Come up with better names!

Eggman: Grrr…

Darksage: Okay, so what does this thing do?

Eggman: I’ll show you! *presses a button and a vacuum activates, pulling the Chaos Emeralds into the device*

Blackbelt: H-hey!

AM: He’s got the emeralds!

iX: *takes them out and holds them* We’re gonna rule the universe now!

Jade: It’s a fight then! Let’s go Alpha Movement!

Rebel: CIA… ATTACK!!!

Barbamon: *reforms* Hohoho… not so fast…

Everyone else: Huh!?

Leviamon: *reforms* We will not be defeated…

Lilithmon: *reforms* Especially by you!

Trump: Do you see now, fools? The Demon Lords are unstoppable. Isn’t that correct, Barbamon?

Barbamon: …

Leviamon: Barbamon?

Barbamon: …Chaos Emeralds! I beckon you! Come to me!

iX: What the…? *the emeralds fly away*

Barbamon: *holding them* With this… HAH!! *blasts Leviamon and Lilithmon*

Leviamon and Lilithmon: AHH!! *has holes ripped through them*

Dark Knight: Holy Hell!!

DK: You can say that again!

Seraphimon: Everyone… stay on guard!

Lilithmon: Barbamon… why…?

Barbamon: My dear Lilithmon, I am doing this for the sake of our goal. It is only natural to have some sacrifices along the way.

Leviamon: Y-you… tricked us…

Barbamon: Now… with the power of these emeralds…

*The seven emeralds glow simultaneously, circling around Barbamon. Instantly Lilithmon and Leviamon scream as they are reduced to bits of data that encases Barbamon’s form, until his body glows as brightly as the emeralds. Slowly his body shifts, transforming into a horrible monster…*

Eggman: T-this is too much… even for the world! *hops into his floating pod and takes off*

iX: Hey! Old man! Wait for me! *latches onto the back of the pod*

Trump: You fools! Don’t leave me behind! *chases after but is caught* What!?

Rebel: *pulls him back with his tail* Hey, Trump… stick around for a bit. The show is just about to start.

Trump: Magna Centipede… you are a fool. We will all die!

Rebel: No, we won’t! Right, Alphamon?

Alphamon: Right! Everyone… let’s do this!

Everyone else: Right!

Barbamon: Y-you will al-all… EVERYTHING WILL DIE!!

*In a flash of light takes place, followed by perpetual darkness as Barbamon’s transformation is completed.*

Sakuyamon: It’s…

JumboGamemon: It’s monstrous…

Magnamon: Don’t back away now!

Gaiomon: So, this is his true form…

GranDracmon: That is correct. I am now a true Lord of Demons… GranDracmon!

Ouryuumon: This is it. We cannot lose!

GranDracmon: You cannot lose? I am afraid you are wrong. With this new power I will rule every single dimension! Only me!

MetalSeadramon: We won’t let you! Let’s get this freak!

Gaiomon: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! *swings his swords*

GranDracmon: *grabs his swords and breaks them, and then knocks him out of the way*

Justimon: Justice Kick! *makes contact but has no effect*

GranDracmon: An eye for an eye… *turns around and kicks Justimon with his hind legs* And a kick for a kick!

Justimon: Oof!!

Darkdramon: Giga Rour!

Zanbamon: Mystic Flame!

JumboGamemon: Megaton Hydro Laser!

GranDracmon: Three on three, eh? Allow me… *raises his arms* CRYSTAL REVOLUTION!!

Darkdramon, Zanbamon, JumboGamemon: Aghh!! *is covered with a crystalline ice*

BanchouLeomon: Hold on, friends! Lion King Advance!!

GranDracmon: Another target? Crystal Revolution! *encases BanchouLeomon in ice*

Alphamon: You fiend!

*The rest of the Digimon quickly gang up on GranDracmon but to no avail. As quickly as they come they are put down.*

GranDracmon: I grow tired of this nonsense… it is time to finish this.

VenomVamdemon: No!

GranDracmon: EYE OF THE GORGON!!

*All of the Digimon scream as GranDracmon gazes into their hearts, until they die down and stare blankly into space.*

Void: What’s going on?

Outlaw: They aren’t fighting back!

AM: I don’t know about you guys, but this doesn’t look good at all.

GranDracmon: Fools… Your Digimon have surrendered to the darkness. Nothing can save them.

Alphamon: Wrong!

GranDracmon: …You!!

Ouryuumon: And I as well.

GranDracmon: So two of you did not succumb to the darkness… such a pity.

Alphamon: Gradalpha! *lunges his sword at GranDracmon*

Ouryuumon: Eiseiryuuoujin!! *attacks*

GranDracmon: Crystal Revolution! *encases them in ice*

Rebel: No!!

GranDracmon: Now nothing can stop me… nothing! Hahah!!

Jade: It’s all over, then…

Void: Not so fast!

Blackbelt: What are you planning?

Void: We can still use the Chaos Emeralds.

Spark: Why in the world would we want to use those things?

Void: Don’t you guys get it? If Barbamon could use them to force himself to Digivolve, then we can do the same!

Majin: *sober* He’s right! We’ve gotta do this. Together.

Seadragon: You mean… *looks at Shadowstrike* As more than two seperate teams?

Shadowstrike: Yep.

Rebel: *takes some emeralds* Then it’s settled–We, Code: Island Attackers…

Jade: *takes the rest of the emeralds* And we, Alpha Movement…

Rebel and Jade: Shall work as one!!

*Together the Chaos Emeralds flash and Alphamon and Ouryuumon erupt from the crystalline ice. The two of them glow and merge into one being–Alphamon (Ultimate War Blade King Dragon).*

Ultimate Alphamon: GranDracmon!!

GranDracmon: What!? You again? …You seem different somehow…

Ultimate Alphamon: Yes, and with this new power, the might of the CIA and the AM will destroy you!

GranDracmon: Those two pathetic teams of Reploids? Don’t make me laugh. Now, get out of my way–I have several dimensions to conquer!

Ultimate Alphamon: Never!

GranDracmon: Then prepare to face the cold reality of the situation. Crystal Revolution!

Ultimate Alphamon: *dodges the attack* Ultimate War Blade King Dragon Sword!!

*Using his giant blade which was originally Ouryuumon, Alphamon flies right into GranDracmon, slicing him cleanly through his midsection, causing him to fall into two pieces. GranDracmon, in surprise, can only scream in pain.*

GranDracmon: Arrrrgh!! H-how… how can this be possible!? I am… a king…

Ultimate Alphamon: GranDracmon… for your heinous acts you have been sentenced death. Never again will you threaten the peace of this nor any other universe.

GranDracmon: N-never ag-gain? Hah… hahahah… HAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Ultimate Alphamon: What’s so funny?

GranDracmon: It’s you… d-do you honestly think that this is… th-the end? Th-there are others out there… others, wh-who will take this p-pathetic world and everything e-else for themselves… And then… w-we’ll see who really won!

Rebel: *to himself* Others… like Anti-Majin…

GranDracmon: Goodbye… for now… *turns into data and disappears*

Metabad: WE REALLY DID IT THIS TIME!! *rawks*

Darksage: Three cheers for the AM and CIA!

*Everyone cheers as the captured Digimon are freed. There is a small celebration over the battle won and the friendship made.*

Jade: Rebel, just so you know, we won’t fight you anymore.

Rebel: Really now?

Jade: Yeah, but it will be a pain to cover this up from Sigma… but we won’t let you worry about it.

Rebel: Thanks, Jade.

Jade: Don’t mention it.

Shadowstrike: Yo, Rebel, aren’t you forgetting something?

Rebel: What?

AM: *points to Donald Trump, sneaking off*

Rebel: Not so fast, Trump! *grabs with his tail*

Trump: Island Attackers and Alpha Movement… I see we are still alive.

Blackbelt: Spare us, dirtbag.

Trump: Just what do you plan on doing with me?

Void: Well, seeing as how you broke out of jail and assisted in trying to take over not only this but every other dimension out there…

Brick: You better enjoy a long time in the slammer: Again!

Rebel: Outlaw, take him to our cell room!

Outlaw: Right! *carries Trump off*

Trump: Curses! I’ll get you yet, Island Attackers… just you wait! And the Alpha Movement, too!

*As everyone laughs, a strange light comes down and the Digimon begin to fade.*

Sean: What’s going on?

Agumon X: Sorry, Sean.

Ryuudamon: We have to leave now.

Jade: What!? Why?

PicoDevimon: We believe that a lot of these problems as of late are all caused by us Digimon.

Dorumon: We think the world just isn’t ready for us… yet.

Majin: *cries*

Patamon: There, there, Majin. We’ll always be together.

Majin: Really?

Patamon: Yes, as long as you drink lots of this. *hands him a bottle of beer*

Majin: WOOHOO!! *chugs*

Elecmon: But yeah, it’s been real guys.

Piyomon: For real.

Veemon: Just remember how much I owned, okay?

Shadowstrike: Will do!

Brick: But… Kamemon, who will be my unwavering servant?

Kamemon: CAN IT YOU STUPID PENGUIN!!

Brick: WAAAAH KAMEMON DOESN’T LOVE ME ANYMORE!! *runs off crying*

Metabad: C’mon, Monodramon, let’s do a rawkin’ goodbye.

Monodramon: No. Now shut up.

Commandramon: Darksage, may you be successful always.

Darksage: What, you think I’m not? I predicted this predictable ending back when this predictable storyline first predictably started.

Commandramon: Then I have nothing to fear.

Betamon: Tell Outlaw I said bye, okay?

Void: We will–goodbye, you guys.

Renamon: Goodbye…

Bearmon: Until we meet again…

Palmon: DK, you be careful!

Lalamon: You too, DK!

Dark Knight and DK: WE WILL!!

*As the CIA and AM wave goodbye the Digimon vanish, presumably back in the Digital World. Shortly after Outlaw returned with Trump in a holding cell, the AM decided it was time to leave.*

Spark: I guess we should say sorry about the mess.

AM: We probably owe you one…

Rebel: Nah, you guys helped us destroy GranDracmon. If you weren’t here who knows what would have happened.

Jade: *put his hand on Rebel* Rebel, if you ever need us, just send the word. Hopefully it will get through.

Dark Knight: And you… I suppose that with everything ending on good terms we shall settle this dispute another day.

DK: Bring it–I’ll gladly end it!

Seadragon: All right, we’re finally done. We can leave at any time.

Jade: Then this is it.

Void: Yeah, it is.

Rebel: I would just like to say, to everyone out there, from Code: Island Attackers and Alpha Movement…

AM and CIA: It’s been a blast having you with us!

Dissed in the Digital World (Part 5)

July 15, 2014

*Written by Dark Knight*

*Aboard the Death Rogumer*

SEADRAGON: Laser cannons charged at maximum firepower and ready to blast that whale to…

JADE: No, wait!

SEADRAGON: What!?

JADE: Don’t fire!

AM: Aw, but I installed those new laser cannons yesterday! They are just like the ones of the Millenium Falcon!

BEARMON: Yeah, I want to see action! I want to see BLOOD!

EVERYONE ELSE: …

BEARMON: Sorry.

BLACKBELT: You better explain this.

JADE: They deserve a true fight.

RYUUDAMON: He’s right!

SEADRAGON: And why, if I may ask?

JADE: Well, they seem to be the other Mavericks who followed us in the first Maverick Rebellion.

AM: Such fond memories…

JADE: Do you remember them?

SEADRAGON: No.

BRICK: No.

DARKSAGE: No.

DARK KNIGHT: *doesn’t answer*

BLACKBELT: Well, you weren’t with us at that time, but yeah, I remember them.

SPARK: Wait a tick, aren’t they the Mavericks who weren’t good enough to be in the battlefront?

The sound of a window crashing is heard. Immediatly, a shoe hits Spark’s head.

REBEL: I HEARD YOU!!!!

ELECMON: Hehe…

DARKSAGE: Whatever… *falls asleep*

BLACKBELT: *thinking*

AM: *burps*

SEADRAGON: *slaps himself*

SPARK: *punches Brick in the face*

BRICK: Hey!

BLACKBELT: Why did you do that?

SPARK: Dunno, needed to do something.

JADE: So guys, you ready for a fight?

Everybody answer with a sonorous “Yeah!!!”, except Dark Knight and Darksage (who’s still sleeping).

JADE: Dark Knight, are you listening?

Dark Knight is in the corner, speaking something with Lilymon.

JADE: What are you two speaking about?

DARK KNIGHT: *shadowy* I’m telling her the story of the Guardian.

SEADRAGON: The what?

DARK KNIGHT: Did I say the story of the Guardian? I mean I was speaking how hard we will fight those guys.

LILYMON: *giggles*

SEADRAGON: …

JADE: *sighs* Anyway, it’s time for the showdown!

BRICK: So let’s go and kick some Hunter asses!

SPARK: Man, that’s the second time you said that in these crossover series! And they aren’t Hunters!

*CRASH*

BLACKBELT: What’s this, enemy fire?!

JADE: Nah, just the Fourth Wall breaking…

At the Whale King…

REBEL: OK, THAT’S IT!!

SHADOWSTRIKE: I must admit, kicking someone else’s butt would be good for a change.

DK: And… it could always be worse.

SEAN: *gets shocked* Hey!

DK: No problem, dude. It could always be worse.

SEAN: *gets shocked* Enough! One more time and you know where this is going? *holds up a rotten rat*

DK: Funny rat.

OUTLAW: *eats the rat* Heh, tasty.

SEAN: o_0

AGUMON X: *pukes*

EVERYONE ELSE EXCEPT DK: *turn green*

DK: I’m wondering how must one of those sewer hunts be, as I have no problem with the dirt nor the smell!

OUTLAW: Sure?

DK: Yeah!

OUTLAW: Dude, once these weird problems finally end, let’s go for some sewer hunting, ok?

DK: It’s a deal!

EVERYONE: *roll eyes*

LALAMON: Just promise me you’ll always take a bath!

BETAMON: Oh man… sorry Outlaw but don’t count me in those ones!

VOID: *sighs* So that our brilliant leader brilliantly managed to begin the hostilities, I think there’s no way back, right?

MAJIN: FUNI LADY VERY ANGRY!!LOL!1!11!!one1kk *laughs histerically*

PATAMON: *laughs historically as well*

RENAMON: …

METABAD: *getting serious* Void, I know. It’s time to…

VOID: Fight?

METABAD: No, rawk! *rawks*

VOID: Why am I not surprised?

MONODRAMON: Same here.

Sounds are heard behind the main hatch of the ship

VOID: They’re here!

MAJIN: OMFG PAT PAT SEIF MEEE!!!!!

PATAMON: !!!

REBEL: Quiet you all! I’ll try to hear what they’re saying!

Rebel moves right next to the hatch. Meanwhile, outside…

ALPHA MOVEMENT: Do it! Do it!

SPARK: HYAAAA!!!! *charges a punch and busts the hatch down*

REBEL: Oof! *hatch falls over him*

AM: You!

CIA: You!

AM Digimon: You!

CIA Digimon: You!

REBEL: *getting up* So, you managed to enter here?

JADE: Of course, my comrade.

SPARK: *chuckles*

AM: The nostalgia…

REBEL: Yeah, it’s fine to see another reunion of the Cossack Comrades in this centur–

SHADOWSTRIKE: Screw that! Rebel, we’ve got bad guys to–Hey, aren’t you guys Darksage and Seadragon? Didn’t you used to work for my grandfather way back when?

SEADRAGON: *gulp*

DARKSAGE: *gulp*

METABAD: *gulp*

SHADOWSTRIKE: *smacks Metabad*

METABAD: Ouch! That didn’t rawk.

JADE: Anyways, *brings Nautilus* shall we start?

REBEL: *to himself* Damn, he’s got a lightsaber…

Suddenly, something comes flying through the air, breaking a window and falling in Rebel’s hands. It’s Agile’s beam saber.

REBEL: *stares at the sword* What the heck is this thing doing here?

VOID: That can only mean…

SHADOWSTRIKE: Something happened to the X-Hunters…

In the Maverick HQ…

SIGMA: Sit!

VELGUADER: *sits down*

SIGMA: Good boy! Hey, Vile, isn’t Velguader truly the best dog in… *stares at Vile* Are you alright?

VILE: *runs away*

SIGMA/VELGUADER: ?

Back at the Whale King…

SPARK: Hehehehe!

CIA: Huh?

SPARK: I remember the sole mention of those guys gives Vile diarrhea.

CIA: …

DORUMON: *to the AM Digimon* And you! Don’t even try thinking you will harm them!

VEEMON: Evil will not prevail!

METABAD: RAWKSOME!

MONODRAMON: (Oh please, may those guys free me from that retard!)

RYUUDAMON: So do you want a fight?

BEARMON: Then that’s what you will have! *clenches fists*

KAMEMON: *to himself* Oh please, may those guys free me from that tyrant penguin!

BRICK: Pardon?

KAMEMON: Nothing, my lord.

BETAMON: Time to digivolve!

The CIA Digimon digivolve with the power of LOVE and FRIENDSHIP to their Champion forms, minus Lalamon, who digivolved to Lila-chan!

FLAMEDRAMON: Ready for a beating?

RYUUDAMON: *snickers* Is that so? Guys…

ELECMON: Let’s show them the power…

PicoDevimon: Of the Maverick Virus!

They digivolve to their Champion forms using the evil power of the Virus, except Lily-chan, of course.

GAWAPPAMON: (My time will come, soon. Muhaha!)

The two groups of Digimon engage in a fight.

DK: *to Boomer Kuwanger* You’re going down, skinny corpse! *points his Bubble Splash cannon (wich curiously looks like a gatling gun) at him*

DARK KNIGHT: *cold* Sure?

LILAMON: *to Bubble Crab* Watch out, I feel a strange energy emitting from him!

DK: Nothing my new powerful yet short and stocky body can’t handle, my dear.

And so the ultimate battle begins. Meanwhile…

iX: This is their base…

BARBAMON: That Chaos Emerald will soon be ours!

LILITHMON: Odd. I feel some presence there…

LEVIAMON: And what is it?

LILITHMON: Oh, don’t worry, it dissapeared… I think.

Into the fray, several individual fights are taking place…

DK: RAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! *shoots a full barrage of Bubble Splash*

DARK KNIGHT: *easily dodges* What, too quick for you, little boy?

Crab shoots another barrage of fully-automatic Bubble Splash. Dark Knight dashes out of the way, and teleports.

DK: Grrr, where are you, coward?

DARK KNIGHT: Behind you! *sends a swift kick to his back*

DK: Agh! *keels over*

Dark Knight takes his Boomerang Cutter, ready to terminate the crab Reploid.

LILAMON: Dark Knight!!

DARK KNIGHT: The hell? What do you want with me you… *sees Lilamon* sweet cute flower?

LILYMON: Hey! *smacks Dark Knight’s head, surprisingly without suffering any harm from the razor-edge blades*

DARK KNIGHT: What was that for? You’ll be always the most precious person to me, Lily-chan!

LILYMON: ^_^

DK: *gets up* (Aww, what a pretty girl!!!). Anyways, why are you named after me?

DARK KNIGHT: *sighs* I was going to ask that…

DK: Put that away for later! *activates Energy Pincers*

DARK KNIGHT: *smirks* Is that so? It seems you’re gonna make things *brings Necro Sabre* interesting.

As both Dark Knights continue their duel, let’s check Jade and Rebel…

REBEL: *delivers a quick blow with Agile’s saber* I won’t give you any chance, even to an old comrade like you!

JADE: *blocks it* Sorry, Rebel. Orders are orders. *sighs to himself* Mmm, I don’t like this…

Rebel lunges at Jade, but he dodges the lightning fast swing of the sword, darting as it comes down. Jade responds by launching a salvo of Homing Torpedoes. Rebel tries to dodge them but they finally hit him.

REBEL: *staggering, slightly sorched* Ouch… those freakin’ missiles surely pack a punch.

JADE: Well, I saw your design was similar to Boomer’s one, and deducted that a tracking weapon would be just as effective.

REBEL: *recovers* My turn now.

Rebel tosses a small bomb, releasing a black smoke cloud wich quickly engulfs them both.

JADE: You think that can fool me? Watch and learn! *starts swinging his tentacles around him, trying to find Rebel.*

GIRL: Hey! >o<

JADE: *sweatdrops* Ehh… I didn’t want to…

GIRL: *slaps Jade*

JADE: That hurts? *rubs the red spot on his face*

REBEL: *leaps at Jade, saber drawn* And the pain only begins!

Meanwhile, each Alpha Movement member is fightning against a CIA counterpart. Let’s take a look…

MAJIN: WOOF WOOF!!!! GRRRR!!11!!one1

BRICK: Oh, my God! He’s insanely drunk! I’ll take him! *leaps at the barking Majin. The two then begin to wrestle on the floor*

Hehe…

VOID: *supremely complicated mathematical speech*

BLACKBELT: *same*

mY hEaD hUrRrRtSsSs….

AM: Stop jumping! I can’t target you!

METABAD: *jumping rawk*

AM: *oils the floor*

METABAD: *trips and falls*

AM: Hehehe. *aims his cannon at him*

METABAD: 0_0

AM: Time to die, boy!

METABAD: WAAAIIIIT!!! Can I have a last will?

AM: *sighs* Whatever.

METABAD: YEAH! *rawks*

AM: *grimaces* You’re disgusting, I’m out of here.

Then…

SPARK: You look like a pretty buff guy. Let’s see if you can handle some of this! *throws a punch*

OUTLAW: *catches it with his arm* Okay! *chomps down on it*

SPARK: Yaaargh!! *pulls back, having his arm torn off*

OUTLAW: …That’s gotta hurt. Heh.

SPARK: Now I’m REALLY angry! *throws a punch charged with electricity*

OUTLAW: *grabs it with his mouth and lights up like a Christmas tree*

After a slightly gross encounter…

SHADOWSTRIKE: Man, I can’t believe you would actually hurt the grandchild of your former leader.

SEADRAGON: What can I say? Times change… and I don’t plan to fall behind! *zooms past Shadowstrike*

SHADOWSTRIKE: *smirks* So you want to play that game, huh? I’ll match you blow for blow! *runs after*

As for the last set of members, well…

DARKSAGE: An interesting match-up, to say the least.

SEAN: Yeah.

DARKSAGE: I suppose it could be worse.

SEAN: *is shocked* WILL PEOPLE STOP SAYING THAT FOR ONCE!?

DARKSAGE: ???

With everyone beating the snot out of each other, all that was left were the Digimon, who by that time managed to reach their Ultimate forms minus Lilamon and Lilymon. During this entire conflict, however, the villains were slowly advancing onto the ship. When all three parties meet, will disastor truly arrive for the world? Or…

To be continued…

Dissed in the Digital World (Part 4)

July 8, 2014

*Written by Rebel4000*

*Elsewhere…*

Trump: I am telling you this because it is for your own good.

Bill Gates: And I am not inclined to agree.

Trump: Stupid fool. Even if you are arguably the head of the most powerful company in the world, you don’t think I have the power to take it away?

Gates: You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Trump. But why should I care about Chaos Emeralds?

Eggman: *clears throat* We have reason to believe that you discovered one not too long ago.

Gates: I see… so that is why you have come.

Eggman: Eggsactly.

Gates: …Did you just say eggsactly?

Eggman: Don’t be absurd. Now back onto business–

Gates: You did say eggsactly! I heard it with my own two ears!

Trump: So did I.

Eggman: WHAT IN THE WORLD IS YOUR POINT?!

*Both of the men stare at Eggman.*

Eggman: *calms down* Whatever the case, we want that emerald. It would not do our associates any good if we came back empty-handed.

Gates: Look, Ivo. I know you have been ridiculed over the years of having an obsession with eggs, which is why I am concerned that you are starting to take the whole situation too far–

Eggman: I. DON’T. CARE.

Gates: But–

Eggman: No.

Gates: But–

Eggman: No.

Gates: BUT–

Trump: It’s official: You suck.

Gates: THAT’S IT!! *presses a button behind his desk and an army of robots emerges from behind the wall* GOOD DAY SIRS!!

Eggman: It’s go time! *presses a button on his wrist watch*

iX: *breaks the door down* Someone call?!

Trump: I believe that it is time to fire these gentlemen, if you catch my drift.

Barbamon: Of course. Leviamon?

Leviamon: Right away.

*Leviamon starts tearing through the robots while iX tackles a group on his own. During the distraction Gates attempts to escape.*

Lilithmon: *appears before him* Oh-ho, I think not, little man.

Gates: Hunh?

Lilithmon: Phantom Pain! *Lilithmon sprays a deadly mist that covers Gates, causing him to scream in agony until it subsides.*

Barbamon: I suppose that takes care of another fool.

Gates: W-what…?

Lilithmon: Now, you will be a good boy and get us our Chaos Emerald, okay?

Gates: Y-yes… *walks off in a trance*

Eggman: What did you do?

Lilithmon: Cursed him. That particular curse made him a nice little puppet.

Trump: *turns to the remaining robots* You are all fired.

Robots: Damn it! *walk off*

iX: Hah! Weaklings!!

Barbamon: Hm, it was just as I thought. Together with our abilities we are all unstoppable. Not even some super-powered freak would be able to defeat us!

*Elsewhere, in a familiar-looking area in Megalopolis…*

Anti-Majin: *sneezes* STUPID FOOLS WHO DARE SPEAK OF MY NAME SHALL BE TERMINATED!! *raises fist threateningly*

Frank: What are you blabbering about?

Anti-Majin: Shut your mouth or I’ll rip you a new one.

*Back with the AM*

Jade: What in the world is going on, Dark Knight? You aren’t acting normal here.

Dark Knight: Heheheh, I’ve done it!

Blackbelt: Done what?

Dark Knight: I’ve got my very own LILLY-CHAN!!

Everyone else: *groan*

AM: And here we were worried you were going to kill us all or something.

Dark Knight: Nah, that’s for later.

Everyone else: What?!

Dark Knight: I didn’t say anything.

Vile: *walks in* Hey, slackers! Sigma’s got an important message for all of you, so hop to it!! *leaves*

Spark: Again?

Elecmon: We’ve been getting a lot of these, haven’t we?

Brick: Aw, who cares? Kamemon, if you’d please.

Kamemon: Yessir. *lifts Brick up and carries him to the meeting room* (I’m gonna spike your drink!)

Lillymon: Let’s go, DK.

Dark Knight: *hearts in his eyes* Yes, Lilly-chan… Mmm…

*The AM heads to where Sigma is located*

Darksage: What’s the word, Sigma?

Sigma: Good, you’re here.

Commandramon: Is there a problem?

Sigma: Hmph, nothing that a mere digital creature should concern himself with.

Bearmon: I smell a prejudice–

Seadragon: Shh!!

Jade: Please continue, Sigma.

Sigma: *eyes everyone cautiously* Yes… anyway, you all know about those ex-Mavericks who have their own Digimon now?

Dark Knight: Yeah…

Spark: What about ‘em?

Sigma: Apparently my pets have failed, which means that the mercenary has not done his job correctly.

Ryuudamon: So how is that our problem?

Sigma: I’ll tell you how it is–that means that I am going to make you all go up there and finish the job. No one will make a mockery out of the almighty Sigma!!

Everyone else: Right!

Sigma: Now go!!

Everyone else: …

Sigma: What’s the matter?

AM: Er, no offense, but we just got done with a fight with the Shadow Hunters not too long ago.

Blackbelt: So we were kinda-hoping to kick back and relax for the rest of the day.

PicoDevimon: What they are trying to get at is that they want to wait until tomorrow to kill the fools.

Blackbelt: What he said.

Sigma: Hmm, let me think about it–No.

Everyone else: Damn!

Seadragon: Can’t you reconsider?

Sigma: Well, all right–No.

Everyone else: Double damn!

Piyomon: You bastard!

Sigma: So I am! Now get going.

Everyone else: *grumbles as they leave*

*Onboard the Whale King…*

Rebel: C’mon, Dorumon! You’ve gotta rawk!! *rawks*

Dorumon: Why?

Rebel: ‘Cause you are behind everyone else! Therefore you must rawk to get better. You don’t want to suck do ya?

Dorumon: Well, no…

Rebel: Then let’s rawk. Right Metabad?

Metabad: YEAH!! *rawks*

Rebel: *rawks*

Dorumon: All right, I’ll do it! *rawks*

Monodramon: You all make me sick.

Void: *enters the room* Everyone, I’ve got an important announcement to make.

Outlaw: What is it?

Void: Oh, nothing much, just–

Rebel: Hold on a sec. Who’s the leader around here, Void?

Void: …You are.

Rebel: That’s right. So WHO should be making all of the important announcements?

Void: Me.

Rebel: Damn straight. Now go on and tell us. *drinks a can of coke*

Renamon: *smiles to herself*

Sean: Is this going to be bad?

Void: Not as bad as Majin when he’s sober.

Majin: *covered in bandages* AND I’M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Patamon: *drunk* FREEEEEEEEE FAAAAAAAAALLING

Shadowstrike: Oh god, he’s gotten Patamon!

Veemon: *tugging Shadow’s arm* Hey, uh, can I try some of that?

Shadowstrike: Fine, we might as well all try it, too!

*Shadowstrike and Veemon grab a bottle of beer and swig it down in one shot. Immediately they both turn green and run out of the room.*

DK: Hah, how sorry they are. Can’t even hold some common alcohol!

Lalamon: Now, now, DK. Don’t make fun of others just because they aren’t like you.

DK: Too true…

Void: ANYWAY, back to the topic at hand…

Rebel: I’ll say. Hurry up and speak already, Void. Sheesh.

Metabad: Yeah, sheesh.

Dorumon: Sheesh.

Void and Renamon: *sweatdrops*

Monodramon: To give you the benefit of the doubt I’ll beg you to start talking.

Void: Thank you. Now, about what I was going to say… I have been doing some research on the Chaos Emerald that was found during the encounter with the Devidramon earlier.

Betamon: So what’d you find?

Void: Well, normally Chaos Emeralds have a reaction when they are near other emeralds, right?

Agumon X: Right.

DK: Go on…

Void: I have noticed that the emerald has been reacting sporadically, as if the other emeralds are here, but not.

Rebel: And what the Hell is that supposed to mean?

Void: It means that the rest of the emeralds are in another dimension. And they are gathering.

Outlaw: Gathering?

Void: Yeah, but who or what is doing it is unknown to me at this point. I’m going to have to do some more research to figure that out.

Dorumon: Oooh, spooky.

Metabad: But liek, or awesomeness will save the day, right?

Rebel: I believe you mean our… rawksomeness.

Metabad: Dude that rawks.

Rebel: Totally.

Dorumon: I say we rawk in celebration of this new revelation!

*The three proceed to rawk.*

Void: So… does our great and almighty leader have any comments on this latest news?

Rebel: *stops and thinks* Hmm… well, it sounds pretty bad, but eh, I really couldn’t give a rats ass at this point in time.

Renamon: What… did you just say?

Rebel: I said I really couldn’t care less. Besides, I’m too busy rawking and all.

Renamon: What…?!

Rebel: VOID!! I demand that this Digimon gets hearing aids! It’s ruining my jive.

Void: *sighs*

*Suddenly an alarm sounds off.*

Agumon X: Again?!

Void: Hmm, apparently we’ve got a message coming in. Should I accept it?

Rebel: Go for it.

*Void pushes a button and a screen lights up, showing the face of Launch Octopus.*

Jade: Greetings, Code: Island Attackers. May I ask which of you is the leader?

Rebel: That’d be me… wait a tick… you sound familiar… Jade?!

Jade: Rebel?! You’re the leader?

Sean: Why are you attacking us?

Jade: Sean, too? Sheesh, this is craziness.

Rebel: I’ll say. Are there any other surprise guests on your end as well?

Jade: Well, AM is here too.

Rebel: Crap.

Jade: Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m in charge of this unit, Alpha Movement.

Rebel: All right. So what do you want?

Jade: Under the orders of our master Sigma, we have been instructed to destroy both you and your ship.

Rebel: I see, so it’s a fight you want, eh?! Well, bring it on! We won’t lose!!

Jade: Then let’s get this show on the road.

*The screen goes black.*

Void: Rebel, what in the world was that all about?

Rebel: I’ll talk about it later. What’s important right now is that we get ready for a fight. Island Attackers… ATTACK!!!

Everyone: YEAH!!

*In the Mushroom Kingdom…*

Mario: *attempts jump on Barbamon’s head*

Barbamon: *steps out of the way*

Mario: Mama-mia!

Barbamon: I’ve grown tired of this child’s play. Crimson Flame!

*In a matter of seconds Mario is turned into charcoal*

Peach: What did you do to Mario?

Eggman: Do not worry. He’s merely gone on vacation.

Peach: Okay! Lalala~! *prances off*

iX: Dumb blonde. Bet she still thinks Bowser Jr. is her kid.

*At that moment Leviamon comes out of the moat with Trump on his back.*

Leviamon: *holding an emerald in his mouth* Barbamon! We found the emerald!

Trump: It was located in the basement, just like our sources told us. It was practically unguarded.

Barbamon: Excellent. *takes the emerald* With this, we have four.

Lilithmon: And we know that a certain “Shadow the Hedgehog” holds two of the remaining three.

Eggman: *coughs* I still can’t believe we have to deal with that OTHER hedgehog. Knowing my luck we’ll probably run into–

iX: Aw, stuff it, gramps.

Eggman: Quiet, you.

Barbamon: Well, in order to find this “Shadow” we must be able to locate him. Therefore let us look for the other emerald first.

Leviamon: Do we have any leads?

Lilithmon: I was incapable of obtaining more information.

Eggman: Then… I suppose we are at a dead end.

*The group of villains all stand there, crestfallen at this news. Suddenly Trump lifts his head up, an idea coming to mind.*

Trump: Actually…

Barbamon: Yes? What is it?

Trump: I have a place that we can check out… some old “friends” which I’ve been dying to see…

Barbamon: Then by all means, show us the way.

*The villains quickly disappear into thin air. A few minutes later, however, another figure walks onto the scene, smiling.*

Luigi: Ohohoho. Poor Mario. With these burns I can say he met his end by the hands of Bowser, and once I bring that Koopa to justice, I shall become the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom! Just you wait, Peach. Luigi here is gonna show you why mushrooms are bad for you.

*In the Megalopolis sewer system…*

Agile: Ah, home sweet home.

Serges: I must say our new accommodations are rather nice.

Violen: But I miss my trash can…

Agile: Shut up! At least with this we’ve got a roof over our heads. Do you want another freak blizzard to come out of nowhere and trample us again?

Violen: But the snowman I made–

Agile: SHUT UP!!

Serges: *ignoring the others* Now, our first objective is to find the CIA.

Agile: Yeah, after that Anti guy came in here and took over we’ve lost our only good job.

Violen: You mean getting our butts handed to us on a regular basis?

Agile: Yep.

Serges: Regardless, we’ve heard that they are now in a mobile base, so they could be anywhere in the world.

Violen: That’s a big place.

Agile: Do you try to be stupid?

Violen: *teary-eyed* I don’t try! I just am.

Barbamon: So, you say that they are mobile…

X-Hunters: Who’s there?!

*Barbamon and the rest of the villains emerge from the shadows.*

Lilithmon: Lovely base you boys have.

Agile: *puffing his chest out* W-why thank you. I do try to set a good example and all that…

Lilithmon: That was a joke, idiot!

Agile: Oh.

Trump: *stepping forward* It’s nice to see you again, X-Hunters.

Serges: T-Trump?!

Violen: Weren’t you thrown in jail or something?

Trump: These gentlemen were kind enough to free me. Unlike a trio of nincompoops who can’t even tie their own shoelaces.

*The X-Hunters all bend down and try to tie the shoelaces that aren’t there.*

Leviamon: Stand up, fools, less you want to feel our wrath!

*They quickly stand up.*

Agile: So, uh, what can we do for you, such honored guests?

Trump: Well, since we go such a long way back, I wanted you to tell us where the CIA is now.

Eggman: Of course we already have that information… so why not tell us if you know where one “Shadow the Hedgehog” is located?

Serges: Shadow the Hedgehog? Never heard of him.

Lilithmon: If you are lying you will pay for it.

Agile: *steps back* The X-Hunters don’t lie! Maybe stretch the truth to the point where it is no longer recognizable, but lying? Don’t make us laugh!

Violen: Only on Tuesdays!

Trump: It is Tuesday.

Violen: Oh… never mind then.

Barbamon: Very well, then. I suppose we have gotten what we have come for. Let us go meet these “Island Attackers…”

*The group turns to leave.*

Agile: W-wait!

Serges: What do you plan to do once you meet the CIA?

Violen: Is there any Lucy involved?

Trump: Hmm, since you were kind enough to tell us where they are, I suppose it would only be fitting to reward you. iX?

iX: Yeah?

Trump: Fire them.

iX: Heheheh, right away… *cracks knuckles*

Serges: Huh?!

Agile: No! Wait! LOVE AND PEACE!!

Violen: *Curls into a ball and starts rocking back and forth* The bad things will go away, the bad things will go away, the bad things will go away…

*The X-Hunter’s screams pierce the air as the real villains make their leave. Their destination: The CIA’s headquarters…*

To be continued…

 

Dissed in the Digital World (Part 3)

July 1, 2014

*Written by Dark Knight*

At the Maverick HQ…

ANIME MASTER: And what was the little “gift”, if I may ask, Sigma?

SIGMA: Some nice new “pets” for them, which a mercenary hired by me gladly accepted to deliver to their base.

JADE: Who was he? Remember our last problems with mercenary guys hiding within the shadows…

BRICK: Hey, but one of them was none other than me!

SIGMA: Don’t worry, my loyal Mavericks, he was pure human. You know, flesh and bone, with no apparent weapons.

——————————————

Back in the CIA airship…

REBEL: Dorumon’s right, we should welcome you to the team.

METABAD: WOOHOO! LET’S RAAawwk…zzz…(falls asleep)

LILAMON: Don’t worry, I have him under control.

DK: That was a pretty good pollen attack, Lila-chan, but leave it so. I don’t think he’s TOO dangerous.

STRIKEDRAMON: I think I should thank you too.

DK: Ok, now that we’re on the topic I need to tell you guys something…

MAJIN: FLYING PINK ELEPHANTS OUTSIDE!!! RAK! RAK! RAK! (runs through a wall and falls out of the airship)

KYUUBIMON: Shouldn’t we help him?

VOID: Nah. Let him go. Proceed.

DK: Well, I think I should start from the beginning. I’m in fact a specter, a dead man, with no knowledge of my past life nor the reason of my death. My first remembrances are of my soul floating, stranded beetwen the dimensions of the Outer World, in total despair, sorrow and no reasons to continue existing. Then something appeared, some entity so horrific I can’t remember what it was.

VOID: Not even its shape?

DK: Only prime terror comes to my mind. Then the feeling of a part of my soul beign ripped from me. After that the ultimate feeling of fear dissapeared, and I found myself alone again, but this time on this world. I wandered some time as a lost soul through this world, and when I regained some strength, created this human body you see now. But as you surely know, artificially created human bodies are fragile. And this one is decaying, slowly but continuously. I needed a new body, a more durable one. So this was the reason (besides getting cute Lila-chan) I came here.

VOID: Mm… interesting story. I never heard of something similar. Rebel, give him the Bubble Crab armor.

REBEL: I’m the leader, Void! So I’m the one who gives the ord…

VOID: He’s dying, so please take that for later!

REBEL: Ok, ok…asshole.

Later, after giving DK the powers and form of Bubble Crab…

DK: Aah, feels good! It was sooo long since I felt so renewed, but somehow I sense lack of life in my body… no problem, I don’t care about that.

REBEL: So… the Island Attackers are reunited again!

DK: Ha, it was a good idea to bring the Devidramon here, so I could save your life, giving you the moral obligation to repay me the favor!

EVERYONE ELSE EXCEPT LILAMON: YOU BASTARD!!!!

DK: MWAHAHAHA!!!!

LILAMON: Oh, DK-san, please don’t start with that again!

METABAD: HEY GUYS!! What did I miss?? Some RAWKIN’, perhaps?!?!? (rawks)

DK stares at the rawkin’ Metabad with a mix of wicked fun and insanity.

DK: THIS!!! (shoots Bubble Splash at him)

METABAD: AAH!!! THE PAAAIIIN, IT HUURTSS!!!! MY ASS IS MELTING!!!

DK: HAHA!!! This is so much fun!!! (shoots even more)

METABAD: BWAAAAAA!!!!

DK begins to pursue Metabad, who screams like a little girl while running.

LILAMON: Guess this will take a while…

——————————————

Meanwhile, in an alternate dimension, Lilithmon is speaking with some entity who’s wearing a black cloak…

LILITHMON: I say, give me the Chaos Emeralds, I know you have two of them!

CLOAKED FIGURE: And I say, I don’t have them!

LILITHMON: Chaos Messenger, don’t lie to me! Lying to a Great Demon Lord will be your last and worst fault.

CLOAKED FIGURE: Hey sweety, trust me! Chaos to me is a very different thing than of the jewels you’re searching. We don’t need those things.

LILITHMON: You are evil like us, and the sons of the darkness help themselves, so bring them to me!

CLOAKED FIGURE: Lilithmon, you know the role of our cult in this big game we know as Existence. We are not dark nor light. And while the battle between the forces of Good and Evil occurs, we watch silently from the shadows, waiting for our turn to enter into the game. Believe me, I don’t have those things.

LILITHMON: Our sources informed us that a Chaos Messenger with the same Sirrakh Symbol as yours keeps two of them. This is my last warning. I know your Master won’t appear to save a mere subordinate.

CLOAKED FIGURE: C’mon, I won’t harm a girl.

LILITHMON: (Giggles) Wanna test that?

CLOAKED FIGURE: Well, I think I can no longer hide the truth, specially to a girl as pretty as you. In fact, I posessed two of them as you said, but not anymore. Some miserable, pussy black rodent stole them from my grasp while I was distracted. I’m pissed with him, and wanting to devour his soul. No one humilliates a Chaos Messenger and survives!

LILITHMON: How can we find him?

CLOAKED FIGURE: Frankly, I don’t know where the little shit can be now. Only his name… Shadow the Hedgehog.

LILITHMON: That’s enough for us to track him. In reward for the info you gave us, I shall personally kill him for you.

CLOAKED FIGURE: That seems good… but I was wanting some different type of reward from you, Lilithmon…

LILITHMON: What?

CLOAKED FIGURE: Nothing! Good luck.

After Lilithmon left…

CLOAKED FIGURE: Well, I think it’s time to return there and see how her progress is going on. I hope the best, hehehe…

——————————————

Elsewhere…

iX: (Blasts a Pichu)

BARBAMON: Did you find the Chaos Emerald?

iX: No, but this is damn fun!!!!

EGGMAN: iX, how can you even think that the Chaos Emerald we’re searching here will be inside one of those critters? It doesn’t have any sense!

iX: That’s not your freakin’ problem, fatball! (continues blasting Pokemon)

BARBAMON: Leviamon should be here in a moment, he’s traveled to a dimension with people who use the power of the alchemy. (EGGMAN and iX continue arguing) Don’t let pointless infighting interrupt our grand plan! We must focus at the task at hand.

EGGMAN: I can’t work with morons!

iX: Me neither.

EGGMAN: Besides, I think I know the reason why you let iX kill Pok…

Just before he can say any more words, Leviamon appears.

LEVIAMON: Nothing there. But I saw the presence of another kind of very powerful stones, and a big presence of the Deadly Sins there as well!

BARBAMON: Interesting. A pity you didn’t find any Emerald.

LEVIAMON: By the way, where’s Lilithmon?

BARBAMON: She went to meet some contact who could have some info for us, and insisted that she wanted to go alone. She must be here… now.

LILITHMON: Wow, you’re good at this, Barbamon.

LEVIAMON: Did you find any Chaos Emerald?

LILITHMON: My contact said he doesn’t have them. But he gave me some valuable info…

Meanwhile, iX is having some fun.

ASH: Pikachu, I choose you!

Pikachu attacks iX with all his electrical power. However, iX doesn’t even flinch.

iX: My turn, yellow rat…

Pikachu is totally obliterated by a charged Triad Thunder.

iX: Now that’s a TRUE electrical attack! (maniacal laugh)

ASH: PIKACHU!!!

iX: I think you’re only good against Team Rocket, loser.

ASH: Shit!

TRUMP: And by the way, you’re fired.

ASH: Double shit!

BARBAMON: iX, Trump, Eggman, we’re leaving now! Another emerald awaits us… Leviamon!

LEVIAMON: (devouring some Jigglypuff) Sorry.

——————————————

At the outskirts of the Maverick HQ…

GEEMEL: Keeheehe! We’ll take ‘em by surprise!

ZAIN: Yeah! This will be a devastating blow for those villains. They’ll fear the Shadow Hunters!

TECHNO: Quiet you two! We’re in the middle of an infiltration mission to sabotage the Maverick Mainframe, did you forget it? And I will have my revenge against that armored bastard.

At the lounge of the Maverick Base…

VILE: The heck! What kind of experiment is this? All what I can see are eight lazy morons playing with their new pets! Don’t you know they are only a bad copy of Pokemon?

JADE: (preparing his Homing Torpedo mounts) DON’T

DARK KNIGHT: (taking his Boomerang Cutter headpart) EVER

JADE: SAY

DARK KNIGHT: THAT

JADE: AGAIN.

VILE: You won’t attack me.

JADE/DARK KNIGHT: BELIEVE US.

VILE: (nervous) You’re lucky today, because I’ve got many important jobs for Sigma to do, and I’m late. Expect some Champion’s Training when I see you two again! (leaves)

RYUUDAMON: (Laughs)

JADE: By the way, where were you all this time, Boomer?

DARK KNIGHT: In the bathroom?

Meanwhile, Anime Master, Bearmon, Spark, Elecmon and Brick are watching TV…

BEARMON: Hey, AM, this is a great movie, I love those energy swords! And by the way, why does the cool bounty hunter in the movie look almost similar to the guy that fled very scared of your angry friends just a moment ago?

AM: That’s an enigma I still can’t answer.

BRICK: Hey, Kamemon, where are our beers?

KAMEMON: Right here, sir.

SPARK: Hey, Brick, let the poor turtle enjoy his moments here.

BRICK: Haven’t you seen Digimon Savers? He’s pretty good for the job! I’m sure he likes it!

KAMEMON: (Somebody save me from this tyrannical penguin!)

AM: Well, I’m enjoying now the NON-DUBBED Digimon Savers. It will be a terrible thing if that Jack Bauer sicko starts profaning it (trembles with disgust).

ELECMON: What’s so bad about that guy?

SPARK: (whispers the awful truth in his ear)

ELECMON: (fainst with high terror in his eyes)

AM: Hey, monkey boy, don’t start traumatizing the boy so soon!

SPARK: How did you call me, peanut brain?

AM: Alright, that does it!

SPARK: So it is fight that you want, huh?

AM and Spark start an all-out fight in the middle of the lounge, while the rest of the Mavericks and their partners (except Seadragon, Piyomon, Blackbelt and Picodevimon, who weren’t there) stand around them, watching the big fight.

DARKSAGE: Hehe… my time has come again… (sets up a betting table) Step right up and place your bets! Will the Mammoth stomp the monkey or will Spark turn his face into a Picasso painting?

COMMANDRAMON: Make your decision and place your bets now!

DARKSAGE: Hey, boy, you’ll succeed in this work! You learn quickly!

COMMANDRAMON: Thanks. I also like to play online poker.

DARKSAGE: YOU’RE MY LOST SON!

Seadragon comes across the corridor accompanied by a tired Piyomon.

SEADRAGON: Now that was some good training! If that Typhoon buffon appears, me and Piyomon will personally kick his ass soooo hard… (sees the fight) What the hell is happening here?

DARK KNIGHT: (with his typical reluctant voice) They’re having some kind of fight.

SEADRAGON: Aah, like the one we have?

DARK KNIGHT: Yesss.

AM: Jump Press!

SPARK: (dodges) What? Too quick for you?

AM: Try this! (tries to smash Spark with his trunk)

Nevertheless, Spark catches his trunk and tries to execute a throw. However, AM is just too heavy for that. Viewing the fight is Bearmon too, with the still passed out Elecmon near him.

BEARMON: (sweatdrops) Intense.

ELECMON: (Wakes up. Nods sweatdropping) Very.

Meanwhile, in the heart of the Maverick HQ, at the Maverick Mainframe…

BLACKBELT: This is the Maverick Mainframe, Pico Devimon, here runs all the info of our Empire, here’s also the info about you.

PicoDevimon: Hehe, so I can evolve into that cool, powerful demon?

BLACKBELT: With the appropiate training, yes.

PicoDevimon: Sweet!

BLACKBELT: Once the evolution is complete, I think I’ll try to use the Maverick Virus on you to test how does it work with Digimon.

PicoDevimon: Sounds painful.

BLACKBELT: Well, we live with the Virus all the time, and look at us!

PicoDevimon: (I better stop asking). And what does this machine do?

BLACKBELT: Well, this is our teleport system, one of our newest additions and also one of my finest works.

PicoDevimon: How does it work?

BLACKBELT: Quite simple, it…

???: Always followed by bats, aren’t you, bastard?

BLACKBELT: Huh?

Behind Blackbelt appear three figures. One tall, other bulky with a large sword and the other simply tiny.

BLACKBELT: You! This is for bringing Windows Vista here! (prepares Plasma Shooter)

PicoDevimon: I’ll take care of them! Pico Darts! (throws)

GEEMEL: (easily evades) Pathetic. Is that the best your little friend can do for you? (tackles Pico Devimon)

PicoDevimon: Aagh! (Geemel continues pounding the hapless creature)

BLACKBELT: Crap… I guess is time to…

However, before he could do any more moves, the cutting edge of a sword appears just in front of his throat.

ZAIN: Where are you going, Armor Armarge?

BLACKBELT: Ugh… I’m still wondering how did you manage to enter here…

TECHNO: There are no impossibles for a mastermind, fool. Hehe, I never forget that last time, that moment in which you humilliated me! Was it funny for you!?!

BLACKBELT: Can’t say it wasn’t.

TECHNO: Silence! Now I will have my sweet revenge against you! You’re going to tell me where’s the self-destruction mechanism of this place!

BLACKBELT: Sure, it’s the bright, big red button.

GEEMEL: I’ll press it!

TECHNO: No, Geemel, wait…!

GEEMEL: (presses the button)

VOICE: ALERT! ALERT! INTRUDERS AT THE MAVERICK MAINFRAME!

TECHNO: Geemel you dumbass.

Back to the lounge…

VOICE: ALERT! ALERT! INTRUDERS AT THE MAVERICK MAINFRAME!

JADE: What!? Must be the Hunters! Blackbelt was there so he must be in trouble, hurry guys!

AM: But…

SPARK: But…

JADE: Oh, please, boys. Leave that for later.

DARKSAGE/COMMANDRAMON: Our business! Oh, what the hell! (fold table). All bets are off!

BRICK: So let’s kick some Hunter asses (I love to say that)!

The Alpha Movement run to the Mainframe to confront the Hunters. All except one…

PALMON: What are you waiting? We’ve got to assist them!

DARK KNIGHT: They are more than enough to confront wathever is there. Come, follow me. I’ve got primordial things to speak with you.

PALMON: Huh?

Meanwhile…

TECHNO: That was your last trick, Armadillo. Zain, kill him.

ZAIN: I’m going to enjoy this! (raises sword)

RYUUDAMON: Katana Attack!

BEARMON: Bear Fist!

COMMANDRAMON: M16 Assasin!

ELECMON: Sparkling Thunder!

KAMEMON: Met Knuckle!

PIYOMON: Spiral Twister!

Taken by surprise, Zain receives the full brunt of the combined attack.

ZAIN: Agh! It’s you! No matter you have the help of those creatures, we’ll kick your ass!

GEEMEL: It will be fast and easy!

BLACKBELT: Oh, I don’t think so.

TECHNO: Why?

BLACKBELT: Because… we Mavericks have a nice little thing we call Maverick Virus… and with its powers, we can help our new friends to DIGIVOLVE!

ZAIN: To help them to what?

BLACKBELT: This!

Blackbelt presses some buttons, and the seven Digimon begin to glow. A moment later, and they all have Digivolved.

TECHNO: What the…? Guys, protect me!

GEEMEL: We’ll do our best, but….

ZAIN: …those guys look pretty big, and surpass us in number.

So the Digimon start a big brawl against Zain and Geemel. Meanwhile, Palmon and Dark Knight walk through one of the many corridors of the Maverick Base.

PALMON: What happened, Dark Knight?

DARK KNIGHT: First of all, sorry for beign so rude with you, I’m somehow kinda nervous. What I’m going to do now is to tell you a tale. The tale of a demon. The tale of how that demon hates some hero. The tale of why that demon hates him. The tale of somehow who broke that demon’s heart. The tale of the vengeance of that demon.

PALMON: (a bit scared) Dark Knight, are you alright?

DARK KNIGHT: Guess I should start from the beginning…

Into the fray, the Digimon are finishing the battle…

GIN RYUUMON: Battle Rod Break!

GRIZZMON: Crescent Dawn!

KENTARUMON: Solar Ray!

GEEMEL: Kyah! (collapses)

BIRDRAMON: Meteor Wing!

SEALSDRAMON: Death Behind!

GAWAPPAMON: DJ Shooter!

ZAIN: Ugh! (collapses too)

BLACKBELT: Since you’re the only left, I think it’s now you, me, and Devimon.

DEVIMON: (evil grin) Hehehe, just give the word.

TECHNO: No, please, not again!

BLACKBELT: Too bad.

Blackbelt and Devimon proceed to beat the crap out if Techno. Meanwhile…

DARK KNIGHT: …so I’m still waiting the day I can finally feast upon his flesh. It’s the reason of my life!!! I WILL HAVE A SHOWDOWN AGAINST HIM!!! And she will pay too!

The eyes of Dark Knight flash with a ghostly green.

PALMON: Poor Dark Knight. But I don’t know how I can help you…

DARK KNIGHT: I shall demonstrate that I’m better than that Guardian bastard. I’ll demonstrate that the limits he afronted and used as a excuse are no matter for me! Come (whips Necro Sabre) Let its energy flow through you…

Palmon begins to glow and…

JADE: Ha! Now that was a pretty funny fight.

AM: Yeah!

BLACKBELT: Thanks, guys. I love to kick that pansy’s ass.

They walk to the lounge until they find Dark Knight. There is something odd in his face. It’s the first time they see him happy.

DARK KNIGHT: Guys, look who’s here…

——————————————

In the CIA airship…

METABAD: (lying on the ground, almost dead) Somebody help me…

DK: Now that was cool… And by the way, why not? (rawks)

To be continued…

Dissed in the Digital World (Part 2)

June 25, 2014

*Written by Jade*

*Back with the Code: Island Attackers…*

Rebel: Okay, so go over that once more Void?

Void: *Sigh* These eggs are called Digi Eggs, and they will soon hatch into creatures known as Digimon. I bought them so we could each have a partner.

Shadowstrike: But there are eight eggs and only six of us.

Metabad: HEY ALL WHAT’S UP HOW’S IT GOING??

*Everyone pauses to look at Metabad.*

Void: …Who the heck are you?

Metabad: Metabad.

Sean: And that is…?

Metabad: Uh, me?

Void: *Turns to Rebel* You’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do.

Majin: yoooooooooooou goooooooooot meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee gooooooooooooooooiiiiiiiin noooooooooooooooooow

Rebel: Where did he find beer?

Outlaw: I dunno.

Void: Don’t change the subject!

Rebel: Oh, right. Well, if you must know, it started like this…

*Flashback*

*In some random, unimportant town…*

Rebel: Man, I’ve gotta find some replacements so the team can get back into the groove ASAP. But who the heck am I gonna find crazy enough to actually take the position?

Metabad: HEY THERE DO YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND HUH DO YA HUH DO YA HUH DO YA HUH DO YA HUH DO YA HUH DO YA HUH?

Rebel: I’ll answer your question with a question of my own: Are you a bad enough dude to be my friend?

Metabad: I’m bad enough to rawk, wanna see?

Rebel: Shoot.

Metabad: *Rawks*

Rebel: Welcome to the team.

*End flashback*

Rebel: And that is the sad story of filope magee.

Outlaw: That silly filope magee and his crazy antics.

Majin: FLYING PIZZA MONKEYS

Void: Aaaaanyway, we’ve got these eggs. So guys pick which ones you want and the last one I’ll probably use for breakfast or something.

*So the seven members pick an egg and hold them*

Metabad: Heehee this is so awesome.

Shadowstrike: How so?

Metabad: ‘Cuz it’s like… we rawk or something.

Rebel: Heck yeah it does.

*The two proceed to rawk. Everyone just ignores them.*

*Elsewhere…*

Papa Smurf: You want the emerald that we found?

Eggman: *looking down* That’s right. Give it to us and there will be no trouble.

Brainy Smurf: I don’t think we should trust ‘em, Papa Smurf.

iX: Shut up and just give us the damn emerald! *points his buster at the Smurfs*

Hefty Smurf: So it’s a fight you want eh?! I’ll show you! *charges*

iX: *Blasts Hefty*

Papa Smurf: *Scared* Jokey, go get the emerald.

Jokey Smurf: Right away! *leaves and comes back pushing a giant box* Here it is!

Eggman: Let me see it. *takes the box and opens it for it to explode in his face*

Jokey Smurf: *Bursts out laughing*

iX: *Blasts Jokey and starts laughing himself*

Smurfs: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *starts panicking*

*iX starts shooting every Smurf until all that is left is Papa Smurf*

Papa Smurf: You killed all of my children!

iX: Yeah, yeah, whatever you freaking pedophile. Now where’s that emerald?

Papa Smurf: *Shows them where the real emerald is*

Eggman: Excellent. This makes number two.

Papa Smurf: Um, excuse me… but what are you going to do about all of this mess?!

Lilithmon: Well, I suppose it would only be fitting to reward you with your cooperation. What do you boys think?

*Everyone starts to smile wickedly*

Papa Smurf: H-huh? What are you going to–NO PUT ME DOWN!!

*A few minutes later*

Gargamel: So you are just going to give me Papa Smurf?

Papa Smurf: No!

Trump: Yes, here you go. *hands him over*

Gargamel: *Dancing* I’ve done it! I’ve done it! I finally got a Smurf! The last Smurf in existance no less! Now I can finally make some money–or do I want to eat it? Hmm…

Trump: Oh yes, Gargamel… You’re fired.

Gargamel: What?! NO!! *throws Papa Smurf off a cliff* I hate those Smurfs! *leaves*

iX: Well that was strangely satisfying.

Barbamon: Yes, and now we have obtained yet another Chaos Emerald–only five more to find before we can move on to phase two.

Eggman: But I wonder where the next one is…

Leviamon: We must keep searching and traveling through the dimensions until we find them all. Until then there is no time for complaining.

*Back with the CIA*

Rebel: *staring at a Dorimon* So do these things actually get bigger or what?

Void: Over time, yeah.

Rebel: Well this is boring as hell waiting for it to evolve.

Shadowstrike: Yours has taken the longest to reach rookie form. Mine reached Veemon yesterday.

Sean: Mine also managed to reach Agumon, although I think it carries the X-Antibody, making it Agumon X.

Rebel: What’s your point?!

Monodramon: He’s saying that you suck and don’t deserve a Digimon.

Rebel: Metabad get this piece of crap out of my face.

Metabad: EEEEEEEEEEHHHHH OKAY!! *carries Monodramon off*

Void: Personally I find this to be a very enjoyable experience, having a Renamon of all the luck.

Metabad: C’mon Rebel you know that these Digimon rawk. I mean you might get a really awesome one that is like “OMGWTFBBQ THATS SECKSAY” ya?

Rebel: Eh, maybe you’re right. But you do know what this means don’t you?

Metabad: Wha?

Rebel: That we’ll need to teach these Digimon how to rawk.

Metabad: Heck yeah. LET’S DO IT MONODRAMON!!! *rawks*

Monodramon: *Looks at him with confusion* Is this guy retarded?

Sean: Probably.

Patamon: Well, it could always be worse… you could have a partner like this guy. *points at Majin*

Majin: I SAW YOU AT TEH CLUB LASSHT NIGHT AND I SAY NO *burps*

Sean: *Gets shocked* I need to fix that curse.

*Suddenly the entire ship is rocked by an unknown force*

Rebel: *Hits the floor* What was that?

Shadowstrike: Air turbulence?

Void: I doubt it. It seemed like we hit something. We outta check it out.

Renamon: Shall I assist?

Void: If you want, sure.

*Most of the members leave save Rebel, Dorimon, Metabad, Monodramon, Majin, and Patamon.*

Rebel: So… I heard you like Mudkips.

Metabad: DO I?!

Cyros: *shows up* Okay, that’s it. I don’t want to hear this EVER AGAIN NEXT TIME. Got that?! *leaves*

Dorimon: Could you even call these guys chosen?

Monodramon: Yeah freaking right. Calling these guys chosen is like telling a Piedmon he’s the best guy in the world.

Patamon: I like pie.

Metabad: WHAT A COINCIDENCE ME TOO!!

Majin: *Hits Metabad with a pie to the face* NARF

*With the rest of the members*

Void: *Checking the ships status* According to the diagram of the chips structure, there is some strange abnormalties happening in the back, located in Storage Room D.

Sean: What kind of abnormalties?

Void: Says something like a distortion in time and space.

Outlaw: Doesn’t that sound awfully familiar*?

*See Series 1, Epilogue #5 “Destroying the Space Time Continuum (part 2)”

Void: Regardless, we need to check it out.

Agumon X: Let’s go, Sean! *runs out the room*

Sean: Hey, wait up! Man, I’ve been stuck on that island too long for this. *chases after*

*Everyone else follows Agumon X and Sean to Storage Room D, where they look through the masses of crates and containers.*

Renamon: Nothing seems suspicious.

Void: Yeah, that’s how it always seems. Then the next thing you know four are dead and you are hungry.

Outlaw: Gotta love those warm fuzzy feelings.

Shadowstrike: Hey, uh, guys? Veemon said he just found something interesting, and uh… *points*

*The rest all peer out to see that a Digimon walking out of a portal in the corner of the room. It is a large, black Digimon that has four red eyes and a pair of black wings, a tail, and long arms with sharp claws.*

Void: A Devidramon? Okay, who in the world tried to hax us?

*At Alpha Movement*

Sigma: So those rogue ex-Mavericks have collected Digimon as well, eh? Interesting. Well then I suppose they won’t mind my little gift.

Jade: What are you doing, Sigma?

Sigma: Ah, Octopus, you’re here. Gather the rest of the Alpha Movement and bring them here–it seems as though we’ve got a little competition!

Jade: Right away!

*Back with the CIA*

Outlaw: What should we do?

Veemon: Take him of course!

Sean: Now listen, we can’t be destroying this place from a pointless fight. We just got it. Let’s go over there and see if we can discuss things peacefully, all right?

Void: Right. Good luck Shadow.

Shadowstrike: Why should I do it?

Void: Well your Digimon was the one that found him, wasn’t it?

Shadowstrike: *Grumbles and walks over there with Veemon* Hey uh, excuse me?

Devidramon: …

Shadowstrike: Yeah, could you please be good and leave for us? We don’t want to cause any trouble.

Devidramon: …

Shadowstrike: Cool? Cool. Well I’ll be going then. *turns to leave*

Devidramon: …CRIMSON CLAW!! *slashes Shadowstrike*

Veemon: Watch out!! *takes the hit*

Shadowstrike: Huh?

Void: Way to go Shadowstrike, now he’s hostile.

Shadowstrike: Shut up and let’s take this thing down!

Rebel: Right. Island Attackers, ATTACK–

Renamon: Wait! Let us handle this.

Void: Are you sure?

Betamon: We should be protecting you guys–not the other way around!

Outlaw: Well if you insist… Should we just grab a couple of sodas and a tub of popcorn or something while we watch you guys duke it out?

Agumon X: Sure, why not?

Shadowstrike: Freaking sweet.

Devidramon: Dark Gale!! *fires beams from his eyes*

Renamon: Diamond Storm! *cancels the attacks*

Veemon: Vee-Headbutt!!

Devidramon: *Knocks Veemon out of the way*

Agumon X: Pepper Breath! *spits a fireball*

Devidramon: RAAAAAGHH!! *lets the attack hit him as he tackles into Agumon-X*

Agumon X: Ahhh!!

*The fight lasts like this for a while. By then the rest of the members had come in and let their Digimon fight*

Sean: Do you think anyone is actually winning?

Outlaw: I dunno they seem to be going back and forth. On the plus side if our Digimon win I am so totally gonna have a feast on that Devidramon.

*The rest of the members gag in disgust*

Rebel: Come on Dorimon!! Digivolve and beat the daylights outta that guy! YOU CAN DO IT!!

Metabad: Monodramon help him Digivolve! COMBINE YOUR DNA AND BECOME SUPER DOOPERMON!!

Monodramon: Are you stupid or something?! *gets pounded*

Metabad: BOY DID YOU JUST CALL MY MOMMA FAT? >:O

Dorimon: I’m just a baby, I can’t handle this kinda stress. *cries and gets kicked*

Void: This is ridiculous. One of our Digimon needs to Digivolve to a Champion level and just end this stupid fight.

Outlaw: How will that help?

Void: Please… everyone knows that in Digimon whenever the main Digimon manage to Digivolve the fight is practically over.

Patamon: Wait!! I feel it… I’m gonna Digivolve!

Majin: ZOMG NO WAI

Patamon: Yes… It’s coming…

Majin: !!!!!!!!!!

Devidramon: Black Bite! *bites Patamon turning it back into a Digi Egg*

Majin: WTF UR KIDDING ME

Rebel: All right. It looks like there has been a serious lack of motivation for these Digimon. We’re gonna provide it. Ready Metabad?

Metabad: AWWWWW YEAH!! *rawks*

Rebel: *rawks*

Monodramon: Oh, what the hell. *rawks as well and ends up Digivolving to Strikedramon*

Metabad: HECK YEAH!!

Strikedramon: All right, now who’s ready for a pounding?! STRIKE CLAW!!

*Strikedramon covers himself completely in flames as he rams into Devidramon, who releases a horrifying scream.*

Void: All right! C’mon, guys! If he can Digivolve so can the rest of you!

Betamon: He’s right!

Renamon: Let’s go.

*The rest of the Digimon, with the power of LOVE and FRIENDSHIP begin to Digivolve into their Champion forms, minus Dorimon and Patamon.*

Greymon X: Nova Blast!!

Seadramon: Ice Blast!!

Flamedramon: Fire Rocket!!

Kyuubimon: Dragon Wheel!!

*The combined attacks continually pound Devidramon until his body starts to fall apart, turning into data which is scattered and disappears.*

Greymon X: We did it!

Sean: Thank God that’s over with.

Shadowstrike: I’ll say, but man you kick some serious butt Flamedramon.

Flamedramon: Don’t I know it!

Metabad: STRIKEDRAMON MAN YOU RAWK LIKE TWICE NO THREE TIMES AS MUCH NOW!! *rawks*

Strikedramon: Get away from me.

Metabad: D:

Void: Well, I suppose you could have considered this a good chance to see what our Digimon were made of.

Rebel: Speak for yourself. Dorimon didn’t get any action… heck he still hasn’t reached Rookie form!

Dorumon: You called?

Rebel: Yeah Dorumon, we were just saying how you have yet to reach Rookie–wait. How did you transform?

Dorumon: A wizard did it?

Rebel: Makes absolute sense here.

Outlaw: I won’t question it.

Seadramon: Me neither.

Void: You guys… *sees something* What’s that?

Kyuubimon: It looks like a gem of some sort.

Void: *Picks it up* Hey, this is a Chaos Emerald! Well of all the chances.

Shadowstrike: Why would there be a Chaos Emerald here?

Void: It must have appeared when Devidramon entered through that portal.

Rebel: Awesome, now we can sell it for some cash.

Metabad: W00T!

*While the team members are discussing amongst themselves, they fail to see the four red eyes glowing in the darkness, watching them.*

Seadramon: Do you ever get the feeling that you are being watched, Outlaw?

Outlaw: All the time, especially when I’m in those sewers. Funny thing about that–one time I was swimming and I bit some giant ape and man oh man I couldn’t even see straight for three days after that. To this day I think that ape is watching me.

Seadramon: That’s not really what I meant…

Kyuubimon: …Something is there!

Devidramon: RAAAAAAAAAAGH!!

Everyone else: AHH!!

*Devidramon leaps forward, claws extended, preparing to kill everyone as they are caught off guard by the unexpected assault. Before it can get the chance, however, multiple pink beams of energy tear right through the Digimon, causing it scream in pain as it vanishes without a trace.*

Rebel: That thing survived?!

Void: Actually, it looked like there was a second one hiding. But I wonder who…?

*Before he can even ask a female Digimon and a lone man appear.*

Dark Knight: Looks like we made it just in time. Good work Lilamon!

Lilamon: You are very welcome.

Outlaw: Who’re you guys?

DK: The name’s Dark Knight, but you can just call me DK. This is my partner, Lilamon.

Lilamon: The pleasure is mine.

DK: I hope you don’t mind but I took your last Digi Egg in order to get her.

Void: Wait… that’s an Ultimate Level Digimon though. How did you manage to reach that level in such a short amount of time?

DK: The answer is that I have a love for Lily-chan!! But since I got a Lalamon I decided to convert that love for a Lila-chan! And with my PASSION and GUSTO I was capable of transcending it beyond normal means. Besides I just saved your hides thanks to it so why in the world are you complaining?

Kyuubimon: He speaks the truth.

Shadowstrike: So what do you want with us?

DK: Well other than obtaining Lila-chan nothing. But since you all seem to be missing a member I am tempted to offer my service to you.

Shadowstrike: Thanks, but I think we’ll–

Rebel: Welcome to the team!

Everyone else: Huh?

Rebel: Look, we don’t have time to be picky about who the heck joins. If that was the case I should have been shot for even thinking about letting Metabad join.

Metabad: YEAH!!

Dorumon: Then I guess we should welcome you to the team!

Majin: WHY

Majin: YOU

Majin: LEAVE

Majin: ME

Majin: PATPAT

Seadramon: Don’t worry, like all good Digimon he’ll be sure to come back by the time the next part rolls in.

Majin: kk

To be continued…

Dissed in the Digital World (part 1)

June 18, 2014

*Written by Jade*

Midday in Megalopolis, in front of a local Waffle House…

WAFFLE HOUSE MANAGER: Get out of here and don’t come back!!

The Alpha Movement is thrown out of the Waffle House.

JADE: Hey, try that again buddy! I dare you! We got you a special order of PAIN!!!

SEADRAGON: Yeah! We’ll chop, smother, and scatter your FACE, biatch!!!

Later at Maverick HQ:

VILE: You guys were stealing dishes… from Waffle House?

DARK KNIGHT: Um… Yeah.

VILE: That is the pettiest thing I’ve ever seen you guys do. Whatever. Sigma wants you guys. He and the mighty armadillo have some kind of super secret thing they want to show you guys.

BRICK: I just hope it’s more interesting than their last little project…

Flashback…

SIGMA: Hey. Do Pop Rocks and Coke really make your head asplode?

End flashback…

JADE: We spent at least a couple of days putting Sigma’s body back together. Boy was he pissed.

And so our anti-heroes make their way down to the main lab, Sigma is there, along with an assortment of small odd creatures inside a glass tube.

SPARK: What the hell? Are they supposed to be mutant sea monkeys or something?

SIGMA: Um, no Spark. These hatched from those eggs that I sent Sting here to go steal from D.A.T.S. headquarters a couple of days ago.

DARKSAGE: Huh. I thought you were just hungry for omelets or something.

BLACKBELT: Not quite. These aren’t for eating. These are digimon, a sort of digital AI creature that can take a physical form.

Dark Knight, having not been paying much attention, suddenly perks up.

SIGMA: We thought we’d perform a little experiment. See, these unique critters can evolve rapidly to adapt to their environments and social stress. Since the Maverick Virus is primarily a computer virus, I thought we’d see how these guys evolve when exposed to it, seeing as they are composed of computer data.

JADE: Hey. That’s a pretty cool idea.

BLACKBELT: Research has shown that digimon are most effective when paired with a human ?partner’. Reploids are close enough, I guess, so if all goes well, we will each receive one as our own partner.

Dark Knight flails his arms.

DARK KNIGHT: Oh! Oh! I call dibs on that one!!

He points to a small green and white digimon with black beady eyes and what looks like a small plant sprout growing from its head.

BLACKBELT: Our records we hacked from D.A.T.S. show that’s a Tanemon.

DARK KNIGHT: Yay!! I’m gonna get my very own Lily-chan!! (jumps up and down)

BRICK: What in tarnation are you going on about, boy?!

JADE: That flower chick that DK worships is a digimon. She supposedly evolves from that particular critter there.

SIGMA: Alright, compose yourself, Boomer. Okay then, let’s get started.

————————————————————–

Meanwhile, in a flying ship far above…

REBEL: Hey Void! We’re starting a game of Parcheesi. You in? (He taps on the door to Morph Moth’s lab) Hello? Awesome. He must be out. Let’s see what he’s got cooking.

He opens the door and goes through Moth’s room. He sees eight eggs sitting on a table at the end of the lab.

REBEL: What’s this? Void ordering dinosaur eggs though the mail again? I told him before that theme park idea wasn’t gonna work.

————————————————————–

As this is going on, a gateway opens in a seemingly remote land. Out from the portal spills two characters. A green-armored humanoid and a rotund man with a crazy mustache…

iX: What the hell?! I almost had those worthless peons! (He sees Eggman next to him) YOU!!! This is your entire fault! I just know it!!

EGGMAN: How is this my fault, you over-glorified toaster?! If you hadn’t been in such a rush for power, this never would have happened!!

iX: (Clenches his fists) How DARE you talk to me that way!! You’re nothing but a useless human!! I am God next to you!! I can kill you in but a millisecond!

He points his buster at the bad doctor. Eggman just crosses his arms.

EGGMAN: Go right ahead then. I dare you.

iX: (Sighs, lowering his buster) Luckily for you, I still have use for you. For starters, where the hell are we?

EGGMAN: Well, when the Chaos Emeralds went berserk, it appears that it initiated Chaos Control, which threw us through time and space to another dimension.

(These events occurred back in Alpha Movement’s epilogue, Crystal Chaos)

Suddenly, iX spots something; a small round pink creature with long ears.

iX: Hey, what’s that?

EGGMAN: Hm… I’m not sure. It reminds me of a Chao, but it’s quite different…

iX: I say we kill it!!

Before Eggman can say anything, iX raises his buster and blows the hapless creature away.

iX: Ahhhh… That felt good. Nothing like a good slaughter, eh Doc?

EGGMAN: No, you fool! If we captured it, we could’ve examined it and gotten a better sense of what world we ended up in!!

iX: Freakin’ buzzkill. I’m sure there’s plenty of these things around. (Sure enough, more of them are seen moving about from the other side of a nearby tree) See? Die, little critters! Squirm for me! Hehehehehee!!

EGGMAN: *Sigh* How’d I get stuck with this psycho…?

Suddenly, the sky grows dark.

iX: Huh? It sure gets dark fast around here.

EGGMAN: What a horrible night to have a curse…

iX: The hell are you babbling about, fleshy?

Before they can ponder this any further, the ground opens up beneath them and swallows them up. Eggman and iX adjust their eyes to the darkness and find themselves in an underground temple; one which seems to have been buried long ago.

EGGMAN: Now where are we?

To answer his question, the shadows of three beings emerge from the darkness…

???: Fellow creatures of darkness… welcome to the Digital World…

————————————————————–

Back in Megalopolis…

DARK KNIGHT: Evolve, damn you!! Evolve to Lily-chan!!

At his feet, a Palmon just looks at him with sad eyes.

JADE: Sheesh. These things don’t evolve overnight, Boomer. It takes time.

SEADRAGON: Seriously. See, that’s the thing about being so fast; you just can’t stand waiting for everything else to catch up with you, huh?

Jade is holding a ModokiBetamon, a green-yellow amphibious creature, petting it gently. A Piyomon roosts on Seadragon’s shoulder. Spark walks into the lounge as well, followed by an Elecmon, an otherwise furry creature with nine feathery tails.

SPARK: Hey, check this guy out. He’s got electrical attacks too! I hope he evolves into something badass, like Leomon.

DARK KNIGHT: You don’t want that, man. Leomon dies at the end of every series.

JADE: Yeah, I think he’s become the Kenny of the Digital World or something.

————————————————————–

iX: Alright. Tell me who the frick you guys are before I start shooting. Actually, you know what? I think I’ll shoot you anyway!

iX fires a plasma shot at one of the figures before him, but he raises his hand and deflects the buster shot. A flash of light erupts and reveals the three shadows. One looks like an old man with a long beard, one is a woman with several pairs of bat-like wings, and the third is a dragonoid creature with a mouth like an alligator’s.

BARBAMON: Careful, iX. It would be best that you don’t get on the bad side of the Seven Great Demon Lords.

iX: Pfft. All I see are a crusty old man, a goth chick, and Puff the Magic Dragon. Demon Lords, my ass. More like demon posers.

LILITHMON: Is that so? Despite what you say, our powers greatly exceed yours.

iX: Aww, what are you gonna do? Write me a poem about how you hate your life and you want to die? (Raises his buster) I can arrange that, sister!

Lilithmon swats the blast aside.

LILITHMON: Phantom Pain!

A dark mist flies from her hands that engulfs iX. He suddenly finds himself unable to move.

iX: Wha… How… are you this powerful?!

Meanwhile, Eggman is becoming very frightened; even iX is having trouble against these three.

EGGMAN: Wh… What do you want with us, then?

BARBAMON: We have called you here because we wish to form an alliance.

LEVIAMON: iX, you are a very powerful Reploid indeed. But I can feel your envy… Your jealousy for the one called Megaman X.

iX’s eyes narrow.

iX: Shut the hell up, Barney. I am NOT envious of that piece of crap.

LEVIAMON: Oh, but I think you are. Why else do you strive so hard to exceed him? It is because you are afraid. You are afraid he might be stronger than you. Stronger than you ever will be!

iX: Now you listen to me!! I am the mightiest Reploid in the universe!! X is weak!! And I’ll rip out anyone’s throat that says otherwise!

LILITHMON: (Giggles) You’re hardly in a position to be spouting threats, sweety.

BARBAMON: Ivo Robotnik, you too possess a great greed. Greed for power; the need to prove yourself. Well we can make it happen. Provide both of you with the power you have only dreamed of!

EGGMAN: And you want us to help you, right? What would the Demon Lords need us for?

BARBAMON: Well, as much as it pains me to admit it, we are not as strong as we once were. There were seven of us, now down to three. The other four; Lucemon, Demon, Beelzebumon, and Belphemon, had traveled to other dimensions in hopes of conquering them for us. But they had all been destroyed instead. It seems each dimension has those called “Chosen Ones”, young humans with a supernatural link with the digimon. This power is what enabled them to wipe out the other demon lords.

iX: In other words, you got your asses handed to you by a bunch of kids. You really suck.

LEVIAMON: You would do well not to underestimate the Chosen, iX. Our four compatriots did such and were defeated.

iX: Grrr… Alright… What exactly is it you want from us?

LILITHMON: We would like you to bring us to a new dimension to conquer. We have lied dormant in this world for many eons, but we aren’t strong enough to conquer it due to the Royal Knights…

EGGMAN: And who are they?

BARBAMON: Celestial servants of the digimon god, Yggdrasil. They are the ones who defeated us long ago and sealed us away.

LILITHMON: They are still watching over this world, and could destroy us now that we are down to a mere three. But back to the task at hand. Dr. Eggman, you have used the seven Chaos Emeralds to travel between time and space correct? With these, you should be able to assist us in passing to a new dimension where there are no goody-two-shoes to stop us.

iX: Piss off. No way you’re taking over my world! I already called dibs on it!

EGGMAN: So did I!

iX and Eggman glare at each other suspiciously.

BARBAMON: Who said it had to be the one you came from? There is an infinite number of dimensions out there. Help us, and we will give you the power you need to make all our dreams come true!

iX: Eh, what the hell, then. I seem to be in the habit of collecting power anyways.

LEVIAMON: We are aware of that, iX. We even know of the other dark lord that you currently serve…

iX: What?!

LEVIAMON: The one who revived you after your botched attempt at receiving the power of Limited, and endowed you with even grater dark power.

iX: How do you know about that??

BARBAMON: We know many things, dear iX. But beware; there is more to your pact that you aren’t aware of. There is one who will betray you…

iX: Give me a break! Like I care if one of them turns on me. I’ll waste his ass!

BARBAMON: I like your enthusiasm, iX. We are just giving you an ample warning; he is very powerful… and he could very well be a match for you if he catches you off guard…

iX: Whatever. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

EGGMAN: But about the Chaos Emeralds…

LILITHMON: We know. You lost most of them battling the Alpha Movement. But we can still help you recover the rest.

Eggman takes out a single shining gem.

EGGMAN: This is all I was able to recover. The others must’ve been spread through the dimensions when Chaos Control activated.

LEVIAMON: Then we shall assist you in finding the six others.

BARBAMON: Not only that, we have another who can help you. I have called him here as well; I was greatly impressed by his greed as well!

Another steps out from the shadows, this one being a human wearing an elegant business suit…

EGGMAN: What the hell’s he doing here??

DONALD TRUMP: What the hell are they doing here?? You two are FIRED!!

iX: Did someone say “fire”?! (Charges a Grand Fire)

LEVIAMON: Step down, both of you!! You will cooperate from now on, hear?

To be continued…

 

Beasts of Metal and Lightning

June 12, 2014

*Written by Sean*

 

*The Yoshobos run until they reach a beach with a bridge leading to an island covered in forests. One turns around and looks back to see if the group was followed. Luckily it seemed that the Yoshobos speed was enough to escape unnoticed. The group of Yoshobos dash across the bridge. After the last Yoshobo crosses another group of Yoshobos appear. A short conversation is carried out by a series of warks, after which a red Yoshobo walks to the edge of the bridge and raises his hands. Shortly meteor after meteor comes crashing down and destroys the bridge. The Yoshobos then quickly run though the forests covering the island until they reach a small village. Then the group with the unconscious and nearly destroyed CIA on their backs run to a nearby and rundown building while the rest scatter.*

*One of the Yoshobos then runs to a nearby hut that looks like it would fall down if there was a sudden breeze. The Yoshobo enters the hut and looks at the state of disarray that the hut is in.*

Green Yoshobo: *warks loudly*

Sean: Okay, I’m up! What is it, Greg?

Greg: *warks*

Sean: Look I know the room is a mess along with the structure itself, but I’ve been too busy trying to get technology and magic to mix when they obviously don’t want to. I mean I’ve only managed to set up computer systems and internet access in five villages and I got cursed each time I did so. You wouldn’t believe how long it took me to get them removed.

Greg: *warks*

Sean: Oh, right you were with me when I was looking for someone to remove the curse. So what is it that you’re waking me up for anyways?

Greg: *warks*

Sean: Reploids?!

Greg: *warks*

Sean: Badly damaged Reploids?

Greg: *nods*

Sean: This island can’t do any sufficient repairs on anything that advanced. Why did you take them here?

Greg: *warks*

Sean: Oh, great… Well then gather up everyone with healing abilities that you can along with everything that looks useful. I’ll meet you there. Oh by the way, where are they again?

Greg: *warks*

Sean: Well at least that is close by. *exit and runs off*

Greg: *runs off as well*

*An hour later*

Sean: *groans* Okay, I think we either stabilized or worsened five of them. The other three, I’m pretty sure were dead when they got here and if they weren’t they are definitely dead now.

White Yoshobo: *warks*

Sean: Hey, don’t call me a quitter Wallace. I mean look at this blue insect guy, he is obviously dead.

Green Yoshobo: *warks*

Sean: Gerald, fine. I’ll try something. You two cast some spell or something. I’ll see if I can get anything works *Wallace and Gerald use their magic as Sean tries working with the wiring. Just then the Reploid starts glowing and Sean’s body is locked into place.* Well, this probably won’t be pleasant.

*There is a flash of light and Sean gained the powers and form of Crystal Snail.*

Sean: That was surprisingly painless. Well I guess that didn’t end up too badly; this form seems fairly powerful. So I guess it could have been easily been worse. *Is shocked by a jolt of electricity* Ouch, what was that?

Gerald: *warks*

Sean: Oh, I mixed magic and technology again, didn’t I? Well, it could always be worse. *receives another electrical shock* Okay, do not say anything like that again.

Wallace: *warks*

Sean: They’re getting up… that is good.

Rebel: *groans as he rises* My head…

Sean: Good morning. It is still Rebel, right?

Rebel: You don’t sound like Tuna, but you still sound familiar… Sean?

Sean: Yeah, I’m afraid you’re group was not in too good of a condition when you showed up and still isn’t. I don’t think Flame Stag and Bubble Crab are revivable in their current state. You’ll need replacements. Crystal Snail was also not revivable but as you can see, I accidentally snagged this form already. Hope you don’t mind.

Rebel: I don’t. Is there any coke on this island? I feel like Pepsi attempted to poison me again.

Sean: There is water and fruit juice and that is it.

Rebel: No coke? *does anime-style faint*

Majin: *gets up and groans* I need a drink.

Sean: *sighs* This might take a while.

*After everyone gets up, the remains of the CIA explain what happened to Sean and Sean explains to them where they are when they are done.*

Sean: So, that’s basically it. This island is covered in forests with villages hidden between the trees. Each village is ruled by a chief and the whole island is ruled by a council of the six greatest chiefs currently alive. The islands main species are the Yoshobo who are a biologically impossible species and everything here is done with very simple technology or magic. The ones on your team that you called Ghaleon, PBX, and Deathtuna are now dead.

Void: I can’t believe those guys actually killed three of our team.

Majin: Anti-Majin has gone too far. I shouldn’t have been drunk so much–I probably could have found out what he was up to due to his strange absense.

Outlaw: Hey, don’t let it get to you Majin dude. We all should’ve been watching out… so it’s all our fault that this happened.

Shadowstrike: Still, to think that they are actually gone… even though I hadn’t been on the team long, I had gotten to know them well.

Rebel: *clears throat* As leader of the team, I feel that I should take a moment to mourn over our losses. What Anti-Majin, Frankenploid, and that Ryouga guy have done is intolerable to both the CIA’s pride and our members, both old and new. We WILL have our revenge!

Void: Wow Rebel, that was rather… leaderly of you.

Rebel: Yeah, just don’t tell anyone and I won’t tear those sheets you call wings off your back.

Shadowstrike: Anyway, the least we could do is give them a proper burial.

Sean: Actually, bodies have a habit of disappearing if left alone for long enough on this island. Sometimes they leave an item or bits of their power behind, but mostly they just vanish.

Void: That makes no sense.

Sean: Yeah, also I think you guys are still a bit of a mess so if possible you should try doing some repairs to everyone when we leave the island, Void.

Void: *sighs* Of course, but why wait until then?

Sean: Well for one we have few supplies that would be useful for that task and two technology and magic don’t mix too well here. You will generally get cursed.

Void: It could always be worse, I guess.

Sean: *shocked*

Rebel: How can it be worse? Three of our members died, we are still two short, and there is no coke?

Sean: *shocked* Please don’t comment on things being able to or not being able to be worse. You generally jinx things and you’re going to electrocute me.

Shadowstrike: How does that work?

Sean: As I said when you mix technology and magic, curses often follow.

Rebel: Well I guess you could have ended up worse.

Sean: *jolted with electricity* I know where you sleep or will know shortly.

Rebel: So?

Sean: Also I will find out where you’re stash of coke is.

Rebel: Not the cola!

Sean: Then stop that. Now what am I forgetting?

Black Yoshobo: *warks*

Sean: Oh, right Bob. I need to take you guys to the chief of this village who will then either declare us worthy and send us to the council of chiefs or declare us unworthy and send us out on our own with no support.

Outlaw: What can a bunch of lizard-bird things do to help anyways?

Sean: Eh, can’t hurt. Just follow me, but I need to grab one thing first. *picks up large bag from the corner of the room* We will need this.

Shadowstrike: What is it?

Sean: You’ll see.

*Later when meeting with the chief of the village who is a Fat Yoshobo*

Fat Yoshobo Chief: I do not see why I should help you false animals. You are abominations, not living things.

Sean: *throws bag in front of him* Well, that really is too bad. *opens bag* On the way here I just managed to find a few items that I though you might want to see. *starts pulling out objects* Various fruits, various vegetables, and what is this? I seem to have picked up a bunch of rare Gysahl Greens and a few batches of freshly baked Yoshi Cookies. They look like a rather good quality too, and hard to find. Most of those products end up in the Chocobo and Yoshi communities, being kept from their hybrid offspring. *notices the chief starting to drool* And what is this? An even rarer commodity?! Yoshi Cookies baked with Gysahl Greens, one of these is almost impossible to find much less this batch that I have with me. Also knocking out the bridges must have some effect on shipping so these rare goods will probably become rarer.

Fat Yoshobo Chief: Perhaps I could put in a good word, though I doubt it can help much…

Sean: *begins pulling the food away*

Fat Yoshobo Chief: Actually, I believe I see your point of view clearly now and is obviously more correct than mine. I must put my full support behind you and make sure a regiment of skilled and powerful Yoshobos escort you to the Council of Chiefs.

Sean: *hands over all the food* Thank you for your support. We will surely be able to gain aide because of your kindness. *bows and leaves, the rest follow*

Rebel: You bribed a chief with food?

Sean: Look, a Yoshi is obsessed with good food and so is a Chocobo. I mean a fat or chubby Chocobo lets you shove a sword in its stomach in exchange for those Gysahl Greens. Anyways let’s go, the council would probably be more willing to help us, but less bribable.

Shadowstrike: How come these guys can speak English anyways?

Sean: Chiefs will sometimes have to deal with the outside world and it is more convenient so why are you complaining?

Shadowstrike: Is that the best explanation I’m going to get?

Sean: On this island, yeah. Looks like our rides are here now, so let’s go.

*Black Yoshobos appear and allow themselves to be ridden. They then rush off to the top of a nearby mountain that has a humongous lake in front of it. On top rests six Yoshobo*

Another Fat Yoshobo Chief: Greetings.

Rebel: Do you have more food, Sean?

Green Yoshobo Chief: I may be a tad overweight, but I assure you I am much wiser than the chief you have met. Though I guess it is for the best since we would have liked to see you anyway.

Black Yoshobo Chief: The ancient prophecies, they speak of them do they not?

Blue Yoshobo Chief: Yes… Beasts of metal and lightning have come seeking our help. These must be the ones spoken of.

Orange Yoshobo Chief: Perhaps we should not be too hasty, their kind is common now a days.

Red Yoshobo Chief: They fit the description and they need our aid. We have helped them already so they are our ally now and their enemies are our enemies. Launching a full scale assault is what we should do.

Orange Yoshobo Chief: We can not sacrifice our own for strangers. Besides that does not fit the prophecy.

Blue Yoshobo Chief: Yes, our gift for them is hidden in the deep waters below. It is what has been predicted to be given to them and it is what we will give to them.

Green Yoshobo Chief: While aiding them is ideal, are you sure that we should trust such old texts to dictate our actions? It would be foolish to…

Gold Yoshobo Chief: Silence! I am the high chief of the council. I will deem their worth. Which is your chief?

Rebel: I am. Why, do I have to fight you?

Gold Yoshobo Chief: Perhaps, but is violence always your first choice to solving problems?

Rebel: Generally it is the only choice or correct choice, so yeah. People who want to bash our heads in usually don’t want to sit down and have a cup of coke while we resolve our differences peacefully.

Orange Yoshobo Chief: *gasps*

Gold Yoshobo Chief: Word for word, an exact match to the prophecy.

Rebel: Wait, my answer was predicted?

Gold Yoshobo Chief: Even you’re response is an exact match. The prophecy ends here after saying that we should bestow this gift on to you. It was given to us when we came to this island to give to you when you appeared.

*The Gold Yoshobo Chief then turns to face the water.*

Gold Yoshobo Chief: I command it to rise from the lake below!!

Outlaw: It is probably something stupid like an enchanted sword.

*The ground begins to shake slowly, before increasing at an alarmy rate. As everyone desperately tries to keep their balance, a giant blue machine rises up from the water and flies toward the group. It appears like a giant whale and one would mistake it for a Mechaniloid at first glance, but instead it is…*

Rebel: A… Whale King?

Blue Yoshobo Chief: We have guarded this as it remained hidden for years; it is yours now and your responsibility. Its technology rivals your world’s and it has room for all of you and more inside.

Black Yoshobo Chief: If you need help in the future, you may come to this council directly for our aid.

*The Whale King lands gently before them and a ramp extends from the mouth. The CIA board the machine, following signs inside to a control room with a map and instruction manual lying near the controls.*

Void: *looking at the map* There are plenty of rooms for us all and apparently a store room with food, ammo, and other supplies.

Sean: *sits down at the controls* I am so flying this.

Rebel: *tries to push Sean away* I’m the leader, I get first chance at piloting. *The two start moving away from the controls as they argue*

Shadowstrike: *sitting down* This looks like it will be fun. *takes off*

Sean: *notices the Great Whale King started taking off* Darn it!

Rebel: Bah, anyway… *sits down on a seat* We have to think on what we are gonna do.

Outlaw: What do you mean?

Rebel: Well obviously we can’t just fly back to Megalopolis ‘cuz You-Know-Who is there waiting with his posse.

Void: I agree. If we were to go back at this point we would just get beaten again.

Shadowstrike: Even with a bad boy like this? *does a bunch of fancy maneuvers*

Void: Unfortunately.

Sean: Hmm, the guys you speak of must be pretty tough then.

Majin: Oh yeah…

Sean: Then allow me to make a suggestion: Let’s go exploring the world. If we cannot solve our problems yet, then the least we can do is go out and learn from them. What do you guys think?

Majin: Sounds pretty good to me. After all it couldn’t get any worse, right?

Sean: *gets shocked* I know you are just doing that to annoy me.

Rebel: Then it is settled. *points into the unknown* Shadowstrike, take us there–Code: Island Attackers is going global!

The End

Dark Time

June 5, 2014

*By Rebel4000*

 

*It was a normal day in the Code: Island Attackers island base. However, the main theme wasn’t there, nor was it in the daytime. Instead, it was elsewhere, deep within the center of Megalopolis…*

???: Is everyone here?

Frank: I am.

???: What about the boy?

Frank: *Shrugs* Guess he got lost again.

???: Damn it all! We can’t afford any mistakes this late in the game!

Frank: Yeah, yeah. Sorry about all of that. But, hey, at least we managed to eliminate the major competition, eh?

???: …I suppose…

Frank: Why the heck are you still all shrouded in mystery, anyway?

???: What do you mean?

Frank: Well, no offense, but it HAS been since the end of the last series*.

*See Series 1, Epilogue #13 “Game Over”

???: Bah. I will make my grand appearance once that blasted boy shows up on time for once!

Frank: Should I go find him?

???: Just hurry it up. I’m already six epilogues behind schedule!

*Now, it was the next day, at the CIA’s base. The members were all in the kitchen, eating.*

Rebel: Mm-mmm. This sure is some good stuff.

Void: I’ll say. Who did made it today? Shadowstrike?

Shadowstrike: Dude, I’ve been at the table this whole time.

Rebel: Tuna?

Deathtuna: *Under the table, sucking on his thumb*

Void: Please tell me that Majin decided to put beer in this.

Outlaw: *Walks into the room* Hey guys! Sure am glad you enjoy my cooking so much. Boy, was I getting scared that you all would never get used to eating–

Rebel and Void: *Throws up*

PBX: Yay! Dry heaves!

Ghaleon: *Puts the dishes in the dishwasher* So, what’s on todays schedule? Saving the trees?

Rebel: …Trees? I thought they were all cut down years ago.

Ghaleon: No! That’s only what they WANT you to think! There are still real trees out there! It’s all a conspiracy set up by the government!

Phoenix Wright: HE’S LYING DAMN IT AND I CAN PROVE IT!!

CIA: …

Phoenix: What? He is. And I can. *flashes his attorney badge* Phoenix Wright. Attorney at law. Call me if you ever need any help. *leaves*

Void: As much as I love random characters popping out of nowhere, I figured today would be a great day to just go and…

PBX: Are we going to the beach?!

Void: Clean.

PBX: Ooooooh. I see. I need to go take a bath first. I got ya. *winks and runs off*

Outlaw: Ew. Clean. That word is awful.

Ghaleon: I think it’s nice.

Void: That it is!

Rebel: *Shoves Void out of the way* Whatever! I’m not cleaning! I’m my own man! It’s either my way or the highway, and I’m choosing both, because that’s where I’m headed. *grabs a coke and leaves*

Deathtuna: *Wakes up* Yawn, that was a good nap. *goes back to sleep*

Shadowstrike: So, um… should we go after him?

Void: Nah. We’ve got a base to clean!

Majin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THEY WILL NOT TAKE ME BACK *rolls along the floor screaming*

PBX: *Runs out with an innertube on* I’M READY!!

Void: *Slaps self*

*In downtown Megalopolis…*

Rebel: Hmm, what to do, what to do, what to do… say, I’ve got an idea! Lemme check out the movie theater. Maybe they’ll have something good! *goes to the theater* Excuse me! I’ll have one ticket for… wow. Star Wars Episode Thirty? Didn’t know they would pump money out all the way to that episode. Sounds pretty interesting! I’ll take it!

Clerk: *Hands him the ticket*

*Ten minutes later*

Obi-Wan: Now remember, Luke. The power of the Force must be strong within you.

Rebel: No shit, sherlock.

Luke: No shit, sherlock.

Rebel: …When the heck does a Star Wars character cuss?

Luke: *Proceeds to screw Leia*

Rebel: *Gouges his eyes* AAAAAGGGGGHH OH MY GOD MY VIRGIN EYES!! *runs outside* What was that… that… THAT?! *looks at the poster* Wait a sec, that wasn’t a Star Wars 30! That was a freakin’ porno! Oh my God… I will never be able to look at Star Wars the same way again… *shudders uncontrollably*

Frank: Where are we now?

Rebel: Huh? *looks out the window*

Ryouga Hibiki: *Pulls out a map* Well, according to this map, we should be somewhere in Tokyo…

Frank: Gimme that map. *takes it away and looks at it* …You idiot! This is a map of Kentucky!

Ryouga: I was wondering why the oceans were named Ohio and Tennessee…

Frank: We’re six–count ‘em, SIX–epilogues off schedule, and here we are: lost! Lost, I tell you! Oh, why couldn’t we have found someone who didn’t have a piss-poor sense of direction?!

Ryouga: Hey, wait a minute! It’s not like I asked for any of this to happen!

Frank: You’re right. But nonetheless I feel like blaming my pain and misery on you, so SUCK IT UP YA WUSS!

Ryouga: *Growls under his breath*

Rebel: *To himself* Sheesh. Frank. I’d be better off not getting into a fight with him. I’ll just go the other way… *knocks over a trashcan*

Frank: What the heck was that noise?

Ryouga: Beats me.

Frank: Wait right here! *knocks the wall down* Ack! Rebel?! W-what are you doing here?!

Ryouga: *Pulls out another map* Rebel? Why the heck would he be all the way over in Tokyo?

Rebel: Hey, Mr. Brilliant. That’s a map of the former Soviet Union.

Ryouga: …I knew that. *puts the map away*

Frank: Curses! We cannot afford to let our plans be revealed yet! Ryouga! Get him!

Ryouga: What about you?

Frank: Er… uh, well… Unlike you, I have a good sense of direction, so… ta-ta! *flies away*

Rebel: Oh please. What the heck could one kid possibly do–

Ryouga: Bakusaitenketsu!! *blasts a hole in the ground*

Rebel: Oh crap!!

*Rebel gets caught in the explosion and goes flying, crashing into a nearby building.*

Ryouga: Get back here, coward! *runs off in the wrong direction*

Rebel: Ugh… I have no idea what he just said, but something tells me that he has no clue where the heck he is going. I’m gonna have to exploit that weakness!

Ryouga: Huh. I could have sworn he went off somewhere in this direction… *feels something hit him* What the?!

Rebel: Ergh, the shurikens bounced off? What kind of blasphemy is this?!

Ryouga: There you are!!

Rebel: Uh-oh.

Ryouga: *Tears off a couple of bandannas and throws them*

Rebel: …Something tells me I shouldn’t sneeze at those. *a bandanna lodges into his chest* Nope. Definitely not sneeze at them.

Ryouga: *Throws some more*

Rebel: Eep! *disappears*

Ryouga: Grr… show yourself!

Rebel: *Behind him* Magnet Mines!

Ryouga: *Gets blown clear across the street*

Rebel: Hah! In your face, punk!

Ryouga: *Gets back up and charges*

Rebel: *Runs away screaming*

*Elsewhere… again.*

???: Ah, good. You’re finally here. Now, where is the boy, Ryouga?

Frank: Eh… I’ve got some good news, and some bad news.

???: What’s the bad news?

Frank: Rebel is onto us.

???: *Growls* So what’s the good news?

Frank: Oh, well… I manage to find Ryouga.

???: And just where is he?!

Frank: Fighting Rebel.

???: *Sets Frank on fire*

Frank: AAAHHHHHHH WATER!!! *runs to the bathroom*

???: I have had enough of this nonsense! We have wasted enough time! It is time to put our plans into action!!

*At the CIA base*

Void: C’mon, guys! Don’t sit around watching TV all day!

Outlaw: Sorry. Family Fued.

Shadowstrike: Must watch.

Majin: braaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Void: No. If you insist on wasting a perfectly good day of cleaning, then you are going to watch something educational, like the news! *changes the channel*

Shadowstrike: Hey!

Ghaleon: *Gets on his knees* Now we’ll never know if poor Tiny Tim will ever get that giant roasted turkey for Christmas!

Void: Quiet everyone. Some important announcement is about to play…

Anchorman: Today, the city of Megalopolis has reached a state of total destruction. As shown in the image, the tallest of all buildings are falling apart, and the streets are in utter turmoil, as people run without aim. The source of this carnage has already been identified, however, and officials plan to unleash a full-scale assualt. Here is an image of the source. *flashes an image of Rebel and Ryouga sticking their tongues out at the camera* If you see these two individuals, then run away. And be afraid.

*A moment of silence ensues*

Void: …My God. This horrible…

PBX: I’m not wearing any underwear today, guys!

Outlaw: Yeah, that is pretty bad.

Void: Concentrate! Rebel is out there with some kid destroying the entire city! We have to go out there and do something!

Shadowstrike: But shouldn’t we follow that advice and run away instead?

Void: No! Don’t you guys see? We’re super heroes! We’re supposed to be preventing this sort of destruction, not allowing it to continue!

Everyone else: …

Void: So what do you all say, guys? Let’s go out there and win one for the team!

Outlaw: Okay.

PBX: I CALL SHOTGUN.

Deathtuna: Zzz… carry me… Zzz…

Void: *Watches everyone leave* Oh well. At least they’re doing something.

*Back in a Megalopolis skyscraper*

Ryouga: Give it up. You cannot win. Resistance is futile.

Rebel: What the Hell are you, the freaking Borg?

Ryouga: *Destroys the ground, followed by a volley of bandannas*

Rebel: Craaaaaaaap!! *jumps out of the explosion, but gets pelted by bandannas*

Ryouga: Shishihoukoudan!! *fires a large ki-blast*

*Rebel attempts to dodge it, but appears to get thrown out out of the building*

Ryouga: *Jumps after him*

Rebel: *Grabs him by the collar* Heh, magnetic boots kid. I can make like Spider Man and cling onto buildings as long as I–

Ryouga: *Headbutts Rebel*

Rebel: …Go die. *drops Ryouga*

Ryouga: *Hits the ground head-first*

Rebel: Oooh, that’s smarts. You okay?

Ryouga: Grr… PREPARE TO DIE!! *throws multiple bandannas*

Rebel: Is that all you can do?! *dodges*

Ryouga: You want something new? Fine!! *tears out a street light*

Rebel: Oh, HELL no–*gets clobbered upside the head*

Ryouga: Now, it is time to finish this! Bakusaitenketsu–

Void: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaait!!

Ryouga: What now?!

Shadowstrike: Holy crap, Rebel. You look horrible.

Rebel: *On the ground* Shut your pie hole.

Void: Don’t worry, Rebel. We watched the news and saw you two destroying everything in sight.

PBX: We’re here to save you!

Rebel: Gee, thanks. You guys make me feel so much better. *rolls eyes*

Ryouga: So, you have to resort to ganging up on me to win? You’re all even more weak than I thought.

Ghaleon: Say, now. We aren’t here to pick a fight.

Ryouga: *Blasts Ghaleon into submission*

PBX, Rebel, Void, Outlaw, Shadowstrike, Deathtuna, and Majin: …

Ryouga: …PREPARE TO DIE!!

???: Hold!

Everyone else: Huh?

Frank: Everyone, prepare to tremble in terror, for we have finally arrived!

Void: Wait, Frank? What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be able to go past the boundary limits which I programmed into you…

Frank: Ah, yes. Creator. As you can plainly see, I have evolved FAR beyond that.

Void: …What?

Shadowstrike: Just what the heck is he talking about, anyway?

Deathtuna: No clue…

???: Allow me to explain.

Rebel: Just who are you supposed to be?

Frank: I think it’s time you ditched the mysterious question marks.

???: I suppose so. Very well, I am…

Rebel: Gasp!

Void: Gasp!

PBX: Gasp!

Outlaw: Gasp!

Shadowstrike: Gasp!

Deathtuna: Gasp!

Majin: gaspuh!!11

Ghaleon: *Crashes back down to Earth* Ow…

Narrator: Just who is this mysterious character? What is up with the question marks? Is my interruption pissing ANYONE off?

Rebel: I thought I fired you.

Narrator: Regardless, all of you shall find out next time…

Rebel: No, NO!! THIS EPILOGUE ISN’T OVER YET DAMNIT DON’T LISTEN TO HIM!!

Narrator: Next time, on Code: Island Attackers!!

Rebel: WE STILL HAVE A CLIFFHANGER NO DON’T END IT… *gets dragged off by the others*

To Be Continued… (not)

Narrator: *slides the “To Be Continued” sign out of the way* Last time, the mysterious figure was about to reveal himself, but with a well placed interruption by yours truly…

Rebel: Go to Hell.

Narrator: We have delayed the second part–Until now! Just who is he? What does he want? Apparently, Frank and Ryouga are working for him… I can hardly wait!

Rebel: If that was the case THEN YOU WOULDN’T HAVE WASTED OUR TIME WITH THAT INTERRUPTION!!

Narrator: Oh, shush.

*The narrator pushes a button which rewinds the previous events. He eventually stops rewinding at the part right when Frank suggests that the mystery man reveals himself…*

Frank: I think it’s time you ditched the mysterious question marks.

???: I suppose so. Very well, I am…

Rebel: Gasp!

Void: Gasp!

PBX: Gasp!

Outlaw: Gasp!

Shadowstrike: Gasp!

Deathtuna: Gasp!

Majin: gaspuh!!11

Ghaleon: *Crashes back down to Earth* Ow… Again.

Anti-Majin: That’s right! It is I, the great lord of evil, Anti-Majin!

Majin: omfg

Anti-Majin: That’s right. It’s me. Remember?

Majin: nope i got nuthin

Anti-Majin: I am the anti version of yourself!!

Majin: LOL.

Void: Just what are you two planning? Together?

Anti-Majin: Hah! Thought you would never ask!

PBX: Thinking is a hard thing to do. I tried it once, but I only got static.

Frank: Shut up, you stupid little crab.

PBX: Yay!

Anti-Majin: My–I mean, OUR–plan is simple! I have made only one lousy appearance in these damn epilogues for nothing!

Shadowstrike: Can you hurry it up? I have things I’ve gotta do… places to go… and stuff.

Deathtuna: *Yawns*

Anti-Majin: Silence!! I was getting to that!! *clears his throat* Ahem, anyway… The reason why I haven’t been bothering you like the other villains was simply because I was ingeniusly biding my time behind the scenes. I’ve been doing so from the very beginning!

Outlaw: The very beginning?

Anti-Majin: That’s right! Don’t you wonder why things happened the way they were? Ti-An’s disappearance, the X-Hunters downfall, the real CIA’s collapse, Trump’s arrest… It was all MY doing! Oh, and of course, why Frank is now out and about on his own accord.

Void: Frank, I am so disappointed in you. I know you’ve always hated us, but going so far as to betray us?

Frank: Shut up! Thanks to Anti-Majin’s true powers, I have been capable of breaking free of the one limitation which prevented me from unleashing my full potential! Besides, I am technically classified as a villain, so if I want to team up with other villains, then I have so much as that right!

Void: Touche.

Rebel: What the Hell about Mr. Emotional over there?

Ryouga: Hey! I resent that remark!

Rebel: I resent you.

Anti-Majin: Ah, yes. Ryouga. He suffers from a lack of no direction, as well as a cu–

Ryouga: *Coughs*

Anti-Majin: What?

Frank: *Whispers* He doesn’t really want that weakness to be exploited.

Anti-Majin: Oh, right. Well, he suffers from some very serious problems, and I promised that if he agreed to help me accomplish his goals, I will cure him of all that ailes him!

Majin: *Sobering up* Uh… wait… you can’t do…

Anti-Majin: Enough!! I have already finished my explanation! Now, it is time to finish this!

Rebel: Pfft, we’ve beaten you before. I’m fairly certain that we (we as in the rest of the team) can handle this with no–

Anti-Majin: *Blasts Rebel*

PBX, Ghaleon, Void, Outlaw, Shadowstrike, Deathtuna, and Majin: …

Anti-Majin: I’m sorry, shall we continue?

Frank: Allow me to start off…

Rebel: Wait!

Anti, Frank and Ryouga: What?!

Rebel: *Crawls back* If you think I’m gonna let YOU guys start this random battle… then you’ve been smokin’ something! And I want some!

Anti-Majin: We’re high on life, friend.

Rebel: Whatever. Island Attackers… ATTA–

Frank: *Blasts Rebel*

PBX, Ghaleon, Void, Outlaw, Shadowstrike, Deathtuna, and Majin: …

Anti-Majin: Now where were we again? Oh yes. After you, Frank.

Rebel: Hold it right there!

Anti-Majin: …You’re kidding. You’re still alive?!

Rebel: If you think that these large gaping holes in my body can hurt me more than being dipped in a vat of pepsi, then you’ve got another thing coming!

Ryouga: *Lifts a pepsi truck over his head and tosses it on Rebel*

BOOM!

Anti-Majin: Thank you, Ryouga. Now–

Rebel: Not so fast!!

Anti-Majin: God damnit, CAN’T YOU JUST STAY DEAD?!

Rebel: Sorry, I’ve watched Zero and Sigma die too many times to not catch onto these tricks.

Anti-Majin: Whatever! I don’t care anymore! Let’s get them!

Void: Look alive Rebel, and help us out here!

Rebel: …You’re joking. I don’t even have legs anymore. You expect me to fight like this?!

Outlaw: He does have a point.

Void: Oh well. Let’s go get ‘em!

PBX: Yay!

Frank: *In the air* Hah hah, you fools can never defeat us all together! *fires all of the CIA’s weapons at their respective targets*

Void: *Dodges the flames* I should have just dismantled you when I had the–*gets punched in the face*

Ryouga: C’mon, brainiac! PREPARE TO–*dodges some chains* What was that?!

Majin: *Sober* You’ll have to deal with me, also!

Ryouga: Grr… *destroys the ground beneath them*

Majin and Void: Ack!! *gets thrown back*

Anti-Majin: *Flying* Fools… we are the strongest in the world. What chance do you have to stop us? I’ll answer that for you–none!

Shadowstrike: Oh yeah?

Anti-Majin: Yeah!

Outlaw: *Grabs PBX and hurls him at Anti*

Anti-Majin: *Knocks PBX out of the way*

*Close by, a hot air balloon shaped like Serge’s hat comes into view*

Agile: Oooh, I absolutely love this new hot air balloon, Serges!

Serges: Thanks. I built it all from cheap, thrown away parts at the recycling center!

Violen: I feel sick… *turns green*

Agile: So, I take it we’re gonna use this bad boy and assault the Island Attackers?

Serges: You bet! Since they only have one flyer, that means they’ll be at a disadvantage! *laughs maniacally*

Agile: *Joins him*

Violen: *Points at the fight* Say… what’s that over there?

Agile and Serges: SHUT UP!!

Violen: But–

Agile: Look Violen, the grown-ups are discussing something very important here.

Serges: In other words, shut your damn face before we take that medicine ball of yours and shove it down your throat.

PBX: Weee!!!

Agile and Serges: Huh?

*The X-Hunters look over just in time to see PBX crash into their balloon, as his sharp pincers pop the material. The X-Hunters lose control and go flying into the distance.*

Agile: NOO!! THE ISLAND ATTACKERS DEFEATED US AGAIN!!

Violen: I TOLD YOU!!

Serges: SHUT UP!!

X-Hunters: WE’RE BLASTING OFF AGAIN…! *ding*

PBX: Bye! *gets blasted from above* Aaack!!

Anti-Majin: Did you forget about me?! *continues his assault*

Outlaw: Hold on, little buddy! *pulls out a Spin Wheel and throws it at Anti*

Anti-Majin: Again with the same old trick… allow me to educate you. *grabs the wheel out of midair and charges it with electricity before throwing it back*

Ghaleon: *takes the blow for Outlaw*

Outlaw: Ghaleon!!

Ghaleon: I’m… fine… *collapses*

Anti-Majin: Hah, that’s another down, and only five more to go!

Shadowstrike: *Fires a barrage of Sonic Slicers toward Frank* Let’s see you handle that!

Frank: Is that all? How boring! *allows the Slicers to pass through him harmlessly*

Shadowstrike: The Hell?!

Deathtuna: I can handle ‘im! *freezes Frank* Now, Shadow!

Frank: Wh-what?!

*Both Shadow and Deathtuna fire a volley of Slicers and Hunters at Frank, who takes the full force of the attack. As the dust clears, they see that Frank is still standing, with not even a scratch on him.*

Deathtuna: Impossible…

Frank: It seems as though you nitwits forgot that I am a Grade-A godmodder! Now, it is my turn.

Shadowstrike: Watch out!!

*In a flash, Frank lunges forward with two Spin Wheels, each headed toward a CIA member. Shadowstrike, anticipating the attack, manages to dodge, but watches as Deathtuna, who is slower, get caught and his brutally slashed and cut up.*

Deathtuna: *Hits the ground* Ugh…

Shadowstrike: Tuna!! *gets elbowed from behind*

Frank: Yes, yes! We are winning! *looks over at Ryouga* Hurry it up, boy!

Ryouga: SHUT UP!! *lunges at Majin*

Majin: *Dodges* Whoa! You’re pretty tough!

Ryouga: Of course I am. I’ve had special training.

Majin: o rly?

Ryouga: ya rly

Majin: o rly?

Ryouga: not rly *knees Majin*

Majin: OSNAPZ!! *keels over and passes out*

*At that point realization struck the CIA. With most of the members down and out, the only ones who were still concious were Outlaw, Void, and Rebel, and Rebel was currently crippled. That left Outlaw and Void to fight by themselves.*

Void: You guys won’t get away with this!

Frank: Foolish creator! Isn’t it already obvious that we have won, and you have lost?

Outlaw: No offense, Void… but this doesn’t look too good.

Rebel: HEY!! I am not about to accept our first ever defeat!

Ryouga: Get over it, loser!

Rebel: What’d you say–

Anti-Majin: As much as I’d love to continue this, we have people to kill, places to destroy. Namely, you and your base.

Void: No, you wouldn’t…

Frank: We would! And it starts now! Hahahah!!

Outlaw: …Take this!! *charges*

Anti-Majin: A futile attempt. *grabs Outlaw and hurls him up into the sky* Frank, would you do me the honor?

Frank: Certainly.

*Frank fires twin Strike Chains at Outlaw, that quickly connect and start to drain his energy. By the time Outlaw hits the earth, he had fallen unconcious.*

Anti-Majin: And now… for you. *he points two fingers at Void*

Void: Blast! *Tries to get away, but is frozen* Wh-what is this…?

Anti-Majin: Do you like it? I can easily freeze your wings in place with minimal effort.

Void: Anti-Majin… I won’t forget this…

Anti-Majin: *Laughs maniacally* What’s that? You won’t forget my name? You’re too kind. *fires a laser through Void’s chest*

Void: *Falls to the ground*

Frank: Welp, guess that settles things. All that’s left is the base itself, right?

Anti-Majin: Yes. We should hurry. Come, Ryouga. You can help by tearing up the foundation.

Ryouga: *Glances over at Rebel* What about him? He’s still alive.

Anti-Majin: Bah, we don’t have time to waste on the likes of him. He’ll die eventually from his own wounds. *leaves*

Frank and Ryouga: *Follows*

Rebel: Umm… hello? I don’t want to die a slow and painful death! Seriously! …Damn it all.

*The dastardly trio heads to the Island Attacker’s base… An hour later, destruction fills the air.*

Anti-Majin: Hahahah!! Fall, fall! Finally, the Island Attackers, along with that pesky good version of myself, have been defeated! Nothing can stop me now!

Frank: At this rate, the base will be gone by morning.

Anti-Majin: Excellent…

Frank: What of Ryouga?

Anti-Majin: What about him?

Frank: He’ll be expecting a cure for his curse very soon.

Anti-Majin: Oh, that. Well, I may have lied to him about that, but as long as we have reasons for him to continue serving us, then I doubt there will be much reason to worry.

Frank: True.

Anti-Majin: Now, to start with phase two of my notorious plan…

Frank: Oh?

Anti-Majin: Yes–in the place of this ugly base, I shall build a castle that shall represent me and my power!! Hahah!!

Frank: …And what of me?

Anti-Majin: Oh, erm… yes… What would you like?

Frank: Let me see…

*Back with Rebel…*

Rebel: God, I can’t believe this happening… Everything has just gone WRONG. Oh, but wait…! *pulls out a small device* Void gave this thing to me in case of an emergency. All I’ve gotta do is push this button here, and… *pushes*

*Out of nowhere a strange creature drops from the sky. It appeares like a dinosaur, but it has several bird-like features to it, such as feathers and a beak. To put it simply it was a cross between a Yoshi and a Chocobo–a Yoshobo.*

Rebel: …The heck? Is this some sort of joke?

Yoshobo: *Warks*

Rebel: VOID!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!

Yoshobo: *Starts pecking Rebel’s one good eye*

Rebel: Ow, hey, stop that you stupid little freak!

Yoshobo: *Warks again, louder*

Rebel: Oh, what? You want something to eat? Fine… whatever. *pulls out a bag of gummy worms* This is all I have on me. Knock yourself out.

*The moment Rebel hands over the bag the Yoshobo starts digging into candy like mad, making disgusting and unusual slurping noises. Rebel can only watch in horror.*

Rebel: Oh… the memories… *closes his eye* The memories of Outlaw eating that kitten… I will never sleep again…

Yoshobo: *Warks*

Rebel: Shut up, freak! I’m not in the mood! Everyone is dead, I’m bleeding my god damn internal organs out, the bad guys are destroying our base, and now you keep warking in my fucking ear!

Yoshobo: …

Rebel: …

Yoshobo: …

Rebel: …

Yoshobo: *Warks*

Rebel: DFRHAISHTIELSTHRH DO SOMETHING USEFUL!!

*As if by command, seven more Yoshobos–all composed of different colors–appear and grab a CIA member, and then take off into the distance at full speed. Where their destination goes, nobody knows, except for those silly old Yoshobos.*

To Be Continued…

Civic Duty

May 28, 2014

*Written by Shadowstrike*

*It was another morning for the Island Attackers… yadda, yadda, yadda…*

Rebel: Ok, do you all understand?

Shadowstrike: I don’t.

Rebel: What do you mean you don’t understand?

Deathtuna: All you did was walk into this room and say “Ok, do you all understand?”

Rebel: Oh, right, right. Void–I require a plan right here and right now before I bitchslap you.

Void: *sigh* Let me explain, since Rebel seems to have “forgotten”. Later today, the court case of World v. Trump case is going to happen. We have been called there as witnesses of his evil.

Rebel: *slaps Void*

Void: *hand over where he was slapped* What the hell was that for?

Rebel: Your story was boring.

Majin: chikenz i not do go want

Outlaw: Why do we have to go? I thought that affidavit we signed was enough.

Ghaleon: Isn’t he set for jail any way?

PBX: Courtrooms are boring!

Rebel: They will be giving us a bribe of 10 million gold coins!

Shadowstrike:…

Outlaw: …

Ghaleon: …

PBX: Plumber money! Yay!

Deathtuna: With money like that, maybe Outlaw will stop eating garbage!

Outlaw: But I like garbage!

Ghaleon: But it makes the rest of us sick!

Outlaw: What!? You mean you didn’t like my sewer rat flambe? Or my composite surprise?

Ghaleon: No we–*is gagged*

Rebel: Of course we did! It just looks like it’s time for Ghaleon’s meds.

Shadowstrike: Ghaleon doesn’t take meds.

Rebel: Of course he does. PBX, do me a favor, go grab the coolest looking liquid from Void’s lab.

PBX: But you said not to–

Rebel: Well I’m un-saying it! Now go!

*PBX runs off*

Void: I hope he doesn’t grab the nitroglycerin.

Ghaleon: *eyes go wide* LET ME GO!

PBX: Okay! I got his nice shiny red one with blue things floating in it!

Rebel: Alrighty. Void, what is this one?

Void: Nothing major, just a Reploid knock out agent. It will make him have a nice nightmare for about an hour. So, don’t use the whole–*SMASH*–thing… let’s just get out of here…

*In the C:IA Hanger*

Deathtuna, Shadowstrike, Rebel: I’M FLYING!

Deathtuna: WHAT? I SHOULD DRIVE! I NEVER GET TO!

Shadowstrike: It is most logical to let me! I was a pilot for the reploid army before the C:IA work.

Rebel: I should fly because you all suck.

PBX: I know how to solve this….

*A few minutes later, in the C:IAFAV (Code: Island Attackers Flying Attack Vehicle [a flying winnebago]), Deathtuna, Shadowstrike and Rebel are superglued to the wall as PBX has his butt on the steering wheel driving with it*

Ghaleon: *wakes up* AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE HELL? WHO LET PBX FLY A PLANE?!

Void: PBX.

Majin: *standing on the roof* IM A LIDL BURD HEER ME ROUR

Outlaw: *glued to the bottom of the Winnebago* AAAAAHHHHHHHH!! *eats a bird* …Maybe this isn’t so bad…

Void: PBX! YOU HAVE TO LAND OVER THERE!

PBX: OKAY! *turns the Winnebago the wrong way going straight towards a building*

*In the building*

Zero: Come on Iris! Just go out with me tonight!

Iris: I can’t. I have to… um… wash my hair.

Zero: You hair is meta-*Winnebago goes crashing through the building, slamming Zero so hard he explodes… again*

Iris: *sigh of relief* Thank you karma!

Outlaw: OH MY GOD! WHO DID WE JUST KILL?!

Void: *out window* I think it was Zero.

Outlaw: Oh… ok, well, that’s no biggie. I’m certain the Maverick Hunter’s have a Zero Kit to rebuild him.

*The Winnebago starts to land.. .but gets stuck on Outlaw, so PBX lands it vertically*

Void: Ok, Ghaleon, go unglue those three from the wall, I’ll go get Outlaw and Majin. PBX… Go clean up the Zero wreckage!

PBX: OKAY! *runs off*

Ghaleon: *has a crowbar* So… how did this happen?

Rebel: PBX did it.

Shadowstrike: You gave him the glue.

Rebel: You told him how to open it.

Shadowstrike: You told him if he glued me to the wall you would give him a cookie.

Rebel: I did… after he glued me to the wall.

*Outside*

Void: *uses an anti-glue ray*

Outlaw: Why do you have an anti-glue ray?

Void: We live with PBX, no?

Majin: *flaps his arms wildly* FLY BURDI FLY!!!!11

PBX: YAY I AM DONE CLEANING!

Outlaw: What did you do with the pieces?

PBX: I sold it to some kid. Except the hair. I kept the hair. *he turns and shows how he duct taped Zero’s hair to his head*

Void and Outlaw: *anime fall*

Majin: *meows and chases after something only he sees*

*Explosion from inside the winnebago as Rebel and Shadowstrike go flying out the window of the Winnebago and slam into a wall*

Ghaleon: Whoa! And I only used pudding, a spoon, and some wire!

Rebel: *sliding down a wall* Lets… just go in the damn court house already.

*The team is about to enter the court room when they are stopped by a guard*

Guard: STOP! You two, are you Majin and Shadowstrike?

Majin: NO! ME AM LIDL BURDY. *Flaps arms and hits Outlaw in the face*

Rebel: Yes they are, and I have to say I never saw them before in my life. Oh, hey, Shadow, here is that 5 bucks I owed you.

Shadowstrike: Um…are we in trouble?

Guard: No, you have jury duty.

Shadowstrike: …What?

Guard: Jury duty. Didn’t you get the letter?

Ghaleon: We haven’t got mail in about a month.

Majin: *burps up a stamp*

Shadowstrike: Let me guess… we will be on some petty case about he said she said?

Guard: No, you are being assigned to the Trump trial. *he grabs both of them and drags them off as Majin keeps flapping his arms*

Ghaleon: Hey, Rebel, what happened to the money we got for turning Trump in?

Rebel: Well, it turns out that the mayor gave the money to a “representative” of the team.

Outlaw: Who?

PBX: ME!

Void: PBX, what did you do with 3 billion dollars?!

PBX: Well…

*Flashback to PBX on a computer*

PBX: Whoa! No way! A real toy copy of X’s buster? And only 3 billion dollars buy it now! I AM SO BUYING IT!! *clicks*

*End flashback*

Ghaleon: …Did you at least get the toy?

PBX: No, not yet! The guy said it is coming though! So Yay!

Ghaleon: Wasn’t that like 2 months ago?

PBX: Soooooooooooo?

Rebel: Soooooooooooo you’re stupid.

PBX: YAY!

Void: Not because this conversation isn’t full of intelligence and continuing it would be great, has anyone seen Deathtuna?

Outlaw: *looks around and doesn’t see him* Not here….

Void: Ghaleon, when you got these 2 idiots down…did you forget him?

Ghaleon: I… uh… CRAP!

Rebel: Well, if he hasn’t said anything, he must be asleep.

Outlaw: You guys here something? *scratches ear*

Rest: Nope, nuh-uh.

Outlaw: Must just be me.

*Back at the winnebago*

Deathtuna: SOOOOMEOOONE GEEEEET MEEEEEEE DOWWWWWN!

*Back inside the court house, Majin and Shadowstrike are seated with the rest of the jury*

Juror #1: Hey, did you hear? The X-Force is gonna be hear today!

Juror #2: No! You’re wrong! It’s Alpha Movement.

Shadowstrike: I thought the Code: Island Attackers were gonna be here…

The Whole Jury: Who are they?

Majin: Me heard gravy wit no z!

Juror #3: The hell? Are you drunk?

Shadowstrike: Just ignore him.

*The C:IA enter the court room and sit down*

Juror #4: Oh, that must be Trump’s legal team.

Juror #5: How do you figure?

Juror #4: They sat down on his side.

Shadowstrike: *slaps face in embarrassment*

Bailiff: Are you representing Mr.Trump?

PBX: Trump is evil!

Bailiff: So…are you representing him?

Rebel: Nope. We are the C:IA.

Bailiff: You are seated on the wrong side then.

Ghaleon: Are you sure?

Bailiff: EXCUSE ME?

Ghaleon: Are you sure we are on the wrong side?

Bailiff: Sir, if you ask me again, I will have to enact my right to initate code 549.

Ghaleon: What’s code 549?

Bailiff: Ok, that’s it! *presses a button*

Rebel: *aside to Void* What is code 549?

Void: *aside to Rebel* It says on Wikipedia that it involves 10 security guards, 15 night sticks, a lot pain and a lot of blood.

Ghaleon: YIPE! *is dragged outside the court room where sounds of a beating are heard*

*A man walks over to the C:IA*

John Jackson: Hello, my name is John Jackson, I represent the state. All I have to say is that we will win this case.

*Another man walks over*

Jack Johnson: Hello I am Jack Johnson, I represent Mr. Trump. All I have to say is that you can not win this case.

John Jackson: You!

Jack Johnson: You!

*The two stand staring at each other with hate. Five minutes later…*

Rebel: Okay… this is getting weird.

PBX: *standing on Jack* March! March my minion! To the cookie factory!

Void: Damnit PBX get down!

Outlaw: *poking John in the back* I don’t think it will matter, they are stuck.

Rebel: Well, then there is only one thing we can do. *grabs a marker and throws it to PBX* Go crazy.

*A few minutes later, the judge walks in*

Judge: *bangs gavel* QUIET! We have to finish this fast. Now, this case is Zero v. Colonel, right?

Bailiff: Actually, no. Zero was killed again, so we bumped it back a few hours.

Judge: Again? Who was it this time?

PBX: HI!

Judge: Shut up.

PBX: AHHHHHHHHH MEAN MAN! *starts to cry*

Judge: Oh… I’m sorry…

PBX: YAY!

Everyone else: *face palms*

*In the Jury Box*

Majin: BINGO!

Shadowstrike: That’s… right, alright… *writes something else* Try this one.

Majin: BINGO!

Shadowstrike: Majin, what game are we playing?

Majin: BINGO?

Judge: You two… shut up. Alright, we will now start the prece–*the judge is cut off by the sound of a can opening* What are you doing?

Rebel: Um….Coca-Cola? *points at can*

Judge: Did you think to bring enough for everyone?

Outlaw: Knowing him, he brought enough, but he ain’t giving any out.

Rebel: Damn straight.

Judge: *sighs*

PBX: *holding gavel* Hey, you okay Mr. Judgeman?

Judge: Yes I’m fine–GIVE. ME. BACK. MY. GAVEL!

PBX: Say please!

Judge: …Please?

PBX: Here ya go! *hands him an empty can of coke*

Judge: This isn’t my gavel.

PBX: Oops.

*A few moments later*

PBX: *glued to the chair* MY BUTT IS STUCK!

Rebel: *standing just outside PBX’s reach* You want the cookie? You want the cookie? REACH FOR IT BITCH!

Judge: MR. REBEL!

Rebel: *slowly turns around* Yes?

Judge: SIT DOWN… NOW OR I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO HAVE ANY MORE COCA-COLA!

Rebel: OBJECTION!

Judge: THE CASE HAS NOT EVEN STARTED YET!

Rebel: Oh. *sits down*

Judge: Good now we can start. *bangs gavel and it explodes* …

PBX and Rebel: Heheheheheheheh.

Void: We are never going to get out of here, are we?

Outlaw: I doubt it.

*Surprisingly, somehow, the next 20 minutes went by normally, and we find Void on the witness stand*

John Jackson: Now, Mr. Darkheart, of your opinion, should Mr. Trump go to jail?

Void: Yes.

John Jackson: And why is that?

Jack Johnson: Objection your honor! This pertains in no way to the case.

Judge: Sustained. Any other questions Mr. Jackson?

John Jackson: None your honor.

Judge: And you Mr. Johnson?

Jack Johnson: That I do your honor. Now, Mr. Darkheart, is it true you once worked for my client?

Void: I never worked for him.

Jack Johnson: Then, why is your name on this employee sheet? *holds it up for all to see, then hands it to Void* Confirm that the name highlighted is your name.

Void: That name is Vince DeChabert.

Jack Johnson: No it doesn’t.

Judge: *looking at the paper* Yes it does.

Jack Johnson: Oh. *looks back at Trump who nods his head* Well, he is responsible for the destruction of many of my client’s creations.

John Jackson: Objection your honor! That was only in the face of being killed by the machines. That should be said for all of them.

Judge: Sustained. *bangs gavel* Return to your seat. The next witness?

John Jackson: I call ProtoBassX to the stand.

*A moment and there is no movement*

Rebel: Where did PBX go?

Outlaw: *quietly* Shh… look in the corner.

*PBX was on the ceiling in the corner, he then jumped and made a mad lunge for the gavel, he landed short, and was then hit by the judge with it.

Judge: Go to that seat there, and stay.

John Jackson: Now, PBX, do you remember the time that Mr. Trump kidnapped you?

PBX: Yeah! I remember that. He kidnapped me.

John Jackson: And do you remember when you had to do community service for him?

PBX: HE LOCKED ME IN A CAGE! With… with–

John Jackson: With what?

PBX: No cookies!

John Jackson: No cookies your honor. No cookies.

Jury: GASP!

Majin: BARK

*A few moments later*

Jack Johnson: Now, Mr. Outlaw, Can you think of one instance in which the actions of my client directly or indirectly affected you?

Outlaw: Are you serious?

Jack Johnson: Yes.

Outlaw: Alright… well there was that time…

*20 minutes later*

Outlaw: And that is all I can think of.

Jack Johnson: How exactly did him funding the research into the removal of sewers affect you?

Outlaw: That is where I do my shopping.

Jack Johnson: In the sewer?

Outlaw: Yes. Why?

Jack Johnson: Oh god… no further questions.

*Later*

Jack Johnson: Now, Mr. Rebel, reports here say that you have numerous trespassings on Pepsi factories. Is this because they are owned by my client?

Rebel: … *points at Trump* EVEEL!! EVEEL I SAY!! REPENT FOR YOUR SINS OR ALL SHALL BE LOST!! *splashes Coke on Trump*

Judge: *smashes gavel and it turns into a flower* Damnit be quiet!

John: Mr. Rebel, calm down. Now, tell me. It also says on this thing you signed, this affadavit, that Mr. Trump has hired thugs to attack you, how can you proove that?

Rebel: Oh, that’s easy. *pulls out a birdcage containing the Oreo Bros.* Look! It’s a pair of oreos! *holds a Magnet Mine up to their faces* WHO’S YER DADDY HUH?! WHO IS HE?!

Loreo: *crying* HE IS!! *points at Trump*

Oreo: *crying* HE MADE US ATTACK THE ISLAND ATTACKERS!!

*Rebel shoves the mine in the cage and throws it into the back of the room, followed with an explosion.*

Rebel: I rest my case!

Judge: O…kay, I’d let Trump testify, but, well, I’m tired of this case. So, jury, do you need time to think this over?

Juror #15: No. We voted 4 hours ago when the trial started. The tally is 15 yes, 7 no… and… um, 1 “inflatable bellies”.

Majin: yez, teh bellies

*All of sudden, a flurry of motion happens in the corner*

Trump: Okay I didn’t want to have to do this, but I am not going to jail. Now, if I don’t go free, he gets it. *has a gun pointed at Jack Johnson’s head*

Jack Johnson: Sir! Please don’t kill me!

Trump: Only If I have to.

*The C:IA go to move*

Trump: Ah, I wouldn’t move. Do you want his life on your conscience?

Rebel: Trump, you heartless bastard, fight us like a man.

Trump: Why, when this is so much better? *sees Rebel summon a mine* Stop. Or he dies, and don’t think I don’t see you two idiots in the corner.

Outlaw: What can we do?

Void: I don’t know…

Shadowstrike: Rebel?

Rebel: Just stay there, for now.

Trump: You’ll be staying there unti–*he is smashed in the head by PBX with the gavel*

Rebel: Hey, PBX, hit him again!

Void: That was rather anti-climactic.

Jack Johnson: You… saved my life?

Rebel: I guess we did. Now, I believe some coins were mentioned?

Judge: Yes, that’s right. *tosses Rebel a small bag*

Outlaw: That does not look like 10,000,000 coins.

Judge: 10,000,000? The letter said 10.000,000.

Majin: zomg 2 meny ZELLOOOOOOOOOO

Judge: What?

Shadowstrike: What he said, I think, was “Why so many zeroes?”

Judge: If you don’t want the coins, then give them back!

Rebel: Okay. *whips the bag at the judge’s head* RUN AWAY!

Judge: Ack! Bailiff! Arrest them… okay, you’re glued to wall. Looks like they go free for now, I mean they have already done so much. *goes to stand up* WHERE ARE MY PANTS!?

*Meanwhile, in the C:IAFAV*

Ghaleon: *in a full body cast* Ow…

Rebel: Oh, be quiet you baby. Now, how much money did his wallet have?

PBX: *wearing pants on head* 42,000 bucks!

Shadowstrike: Whoa! He was loaded!

Outlaw: Wow….that is….alot.

Void: With that much money, I can finish my secret project.

Rebel: I’m treating us ALL to dinner!

PBX: YAY YAY YAY! COOKIES FOR DINNER!

Deathtuna: McDonalds?

Majin: KING KING THE KING

*A few moments later*

Rebel: Yes, a burger with a Coca-Cola.

Drive-Thru Speaker: Sorry sir, but you are in luck! Instead of nasty old Coca-Cola, we have the FAR better Pepsi.

Rebel: *twitches*

Void: Everyone… RUN!

Rebel: GRARGH NO IT ISN’T!

The End

Shadowstrike: Wait…that’s the end?

Outlaw: Guess it is.

Shadowstrike: That ending sucked! It wasn’t even funny.

PBX: You wrote it.

Shadowstrike: Oh…

The End

S3Expo

May 21, 2014

*By Void Darkheart*

 

*It was just a typical day in the base of the Island Attackers. Typical in and of the fact that things were blowing up and loud noises were being made in the tower. The reason for the explosions today could be found on the floor that consisted of the lab for one Morph Moth.*

Magna: Ok, set up the next round of explosives guys. We’ll blow him out of there if you all have to go down!

Bubble: But Magna…

Magna: Not now Crab.

Overdrive: Magna…

Magna: I said shut up…

Wire: BEER!

*The cry for beer is quickly followed by the sounds of more explosions and the sight of smoke, even more scorched walls, and a door that still stood.*

Magna: For the love of, what does he make his lab out of? Metalloy? Nerpium? Kryptonite?!

*Fortunately for Morph Moth, he was no where near his lab. He was currently in town with Frankenploid, who was on a very, very short leash.*

Frank: This is humiliating.

Void: Yeah, but still, can’t let you go running free and wild and all. You’d destroy the city.

Frank: Yeah, why did you build me with that much power and now limit it?

*Then a well dressed man ran up to the two of them.*

Man: Hello there! I’m a person-to-person salesman…

*That was all that was said before Frank sent the man flying into, and through, a nearby building.*

Void: Someone has to take care of the trash. Anyway, we need to hurry, or we’ll be late for the expo.

Frank: Expo? What kind of expo is this?

Void: The only kind that would force me to leave my lab all on my own and to drag you out here, under modified programming that is.

Frank: An anime convention?

*Morph stopped for a bit, standing there and blinking a bit.*

Void: Nah… you go to one anime convention and you’ve been to them all.

*It didn’t take the two of them too much longer (and a few more salesmen) before they arrived at the convention hall for the city.*

Void: And here we are! S3Expo!

Frank: S3Expo?

Void: Science Entertainment Expo Expo…

Frank: That’s a stupid name.

Void: We’re scientists, not name makers. I mean, I named you Frankenploid.

Frank: The comment still stands.

*Just sighing and removing his disguise, Morph headed into the convention proper, flying around some as he examined some of the various exhibits.*

Morph: Lets see… theory of comedic physics… heh, everyone knows that that it exists. Hardly a theory. *he moves on to the next exhibit* Paper metal? Doesn’t seem like it’d be that useful… *moves on* A YEAST POWERED ENGINE?! Jeez, they’ll let anyone in these days…

Frank: So says the moth that builds everything out of junk and always seems to waste solar energy.

Morph: Are you complaining, or would you rather I have used actual pieces of junk to make you? As for the energy, never know when you’ll need it.

*Meanwhile, on the other side of the expo… *

Serges: Ahhh, finally… I’m rid of those two. At least now I don’t have to worry about them causing too much damage around here.

*Serges quickly hovered over to an empty spot and began to set up his booth. His exhibit? The theory of techno-babble.*

Serges: Hopefully enough people will buy into this and I can get enough cash to afford a real lab again…

*Fortunately for the X-Hunter, most scientists of this day and age would rather look like fools than admit they don’t know what they’re talking about. Thus, the nonsense at his exhibit made perfect sense to everyone and he was getting his money’s worth. That is, until…*

Morph: Theory of Techno-babble? You’re really stretching for it this time, Serges.

Serges: GAH! What are you doing here?

Morph: *shrugs* Free country, Science Expo, and I am a scientist… of sorts, but one none the less. That, and I knew that you’d be here.

Serges: Well I’m not causing any trouble, so get!

Morph: Oh please now. I’m not here for a fight. On the contrary, I’m here to prove you wrong!

*By now, the crowd of scientists that were around Serges’ exhibit had spread out some.*

Serges: What are you talking about? You can’t prove any of this here is wrong.

Morph: Not this crap you pass off as real science. No… I came to prove that you CAN make something powerful and worthwhile from junk! Behold! Frankenploid!

*Morph moved so that Serges could see the creation in question, who currently looked indignant, angered, and just generally annoyed.*

Serges: That hunk of scrap is powerful? HA! I bet he can barely destroy anything!

Frank: You want to bet? Give me a target and I’ll blow it up!

Serges: Take out that annoying moth then.

Frank: Oh how I wish I could…

Morph: *laughing* Oh please… like I would let my second strongest invention be able to destroy, let alone attack, me.

Serges: You’re not as dumb as I might have thought… how about the exhibit across from mine?

*Frank turned around and quickly fired off a Sonic Slicer, slicing up the target quickly.*

Serges: Mmmm… not bad… but what about that exhibit? *points to an exhibit on the power of nuclear reinforced steel.*

*Frank smirked a bit and froze the exhibit over with the Crystal Hunter, quickly melting it then with the following Speed Burner.*

Morph: As you can tell, he has all of the attacks of my team, as well as a few other tricks that shall remain hidden for now.

Serges: *grumbling a tad* Fine fine… you were right. But you said he was only your second strongest invention? Where’s your first?

Morph: Top secret and currently being designed and debugged.

Scientist: What keeps this Frankenploid from destroying the city if he, or you, so pleased?

Morph: Well, his normal programming is such that he can not really come with in attacking range of the city. For today though, I put that program on hold, as well as deactivated the more powerful weapons.

*Serges, in the meantime, had started to get annoyed. It was his exhibit space and the like that Morph was taking up with his own show, even if it wasn’t an official one.*

Serges: Morph! I challenge you to a Brain Off!

Morph: *turning to face Serges as everyone else let out a gasp* You realize that we don’t have the time, or the space, for a proper Brain Off, right?

Serges: Hmmm… true. Then let’s just settle this like we always did. *pulls out a blaster and fires it at Morph*

*Morph quickly dodged out of the way and flew off, Serges flying after him and firing the weapon. Morph winced as his back side and wings became more and more scorched from the blaster shots, turning around and returning fire with his Silk Shot. Getting hit with the attack did faze him, but Serges continued onward, firing off some more shots of his own. Morph did as best he could to dodge, but there wasn’t much space for him to do so, and the damage was starting to build.*

Morph: Nnnn… fine. Time for the Solar Beam…

Serges: Ha! You don’t even have enough energy here to power it fully!

Morph: Yeah, which is why I always have just enough for me to use it on hand.

Frank: Well that explains that…

*Morph then clenched his fists, pulling his arms back and preparing to fire off his strongest weapon.*

Morph: Any last words?

Serges: I’ll be back! *turns tail and runs away*

Morph: *sighs and flies back down to the ground* My bluff worked.

Frank: Bluff? You were bluffing? What happened to that solar energy you had?!

Morph: Oh, I used that stuff to power my repair systems already.

Head of S3Expo: Um… excuse me… sir? What are you going to do about the damages that were caused here?

Morph: Hm? Oh… that… uh… bill Serges for it. He owes me anyways. Here’s the address…

*Later, back at the Island Attacker base…*

Magna: One last time Gator!

Wheel: *holding Crab in a ramming position* I don’t think its working…

Bubble: Yay! Head injury!

Flame: Why do you want to get in there so badly?

Magna: The Coke Machine of Infinite Dispensing is in there…

Flame: Really?

Magna: Dunno, but it would be something that Void would make…

Crystal: Save that he’s not even here…

Magna: …What was that?

Flame: He said that Void isn’t there. He went off into town with Frank for some reason.

*The silence was almost deafening as the realization of what was said sunk into the team leader’s mind.*

Wire: BEER!

Magna: Just… just shut up!

The End


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