Metavania

October 18, 2014

*By Rebel4000*

*It was a regular day on the Whale King.*

Rebel: THAT’S IT!! YOU PEONS HAVE DRANK MY COKE FOR THE LAST TIME!!

Metabad: YEAH FOR THE LAST TIME!!

Dark Knight: But I–*gets a boot to the head*

Rebel: SILENCE!!

Metabad: YEAH SILENCE!!

Outlaw: We didn’t–*gets a boot the head*

Rebel: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!! I’M SICK OF THIS NONSENSE!!

Metabad: YEAH SICK OF THIS NONSENSE!!

Shadowstrike: *wearing bucket* Hah, you can’t hit me with that boot–*gets a boot to the BALLS*–Urrrgh… *passes out*

Void: *flies in* Rebel! What are you–*gets a boot to the head*

Rebel: QUIET!!

Metabad: YEAH QUIET!!

Majin: *flopping around in the background* DURF

Rebel: *ignoring Majin* …So who’s left?

Metabad: Yeah who’s left–*gets smacked*–Sean.

Rebel: Could be worse!

*In the distance the duo hears an audible “zap” followed by a “curse you”*

Metabad: We rawk!! *rawks*

Rebel: Hellz yeah! *rawks*

Everyone else: *on the ground* Ugh…

*Later that day, Rebel and Metabad are lounging in the living room, cans of coke in hand*

Rebel: Y’know, it just don’t get no better than this.

Metabad: Jah.

Rebel: In fact, the only thing that would be better were if a giant meteor were to suddenly strike the Earth! Suddenly, no more Reploids!

Metabad: …

Rebel: …

Metabad: …

Rebel: …

Majin: …

Rebel: …Aw damn it.

*A giant meteor strikes the Earth, creating a giant tidal wave to form and crash into the Whale King, knocking it into the water!*

Outlaw, Void, Shadowstrike, Dark Knight, Sean: REBEL!!

Rebel: IT WASN’T ME DAMN IT!!

Metabad and Majin: YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

*Shortly after the Whale King emerges from the watery depths below, still in one piece.*

Void: *with a clipboard* All righty, status report.

Sean: Lost one of the engines.

Void: *throws the board down* God damn it, we’ve already had an epilogue with us having engine failure! We don’t need another!

Outlaw: *dabbling feet in the water* Hey, we didn’t crash though. We’re just stuck in the water.

Void: And we’ve already had an epilogue with us stranded in the middle of the ocean!

Dark Knight: Methinks we need a better writer for these epilogues…

*Everyone turns to Rebel, who is hunched over writing this very epilogue*

Rebel: What!?

Shadowstrike: Can we do anything else other than complain?

Everyone else: NO!!

Shadowstrike: …:'(

Void: Anyway… *picks the clipboard back up* Everyone who isn’t here, say here.

*No one answers.*

Void: Good. Now let’s start repairing this sucker and get a move on.

Majin: deeeh meetas ain’t here!

Void: *breaks the clipboard* Darn it all, now we have to go find him!

Rebel: Whaddya mean, “darn it all”!? Metabad is a highly valued and highly respected member of this team!

Shadowstrike: He breaks stuff.

Rebel: You break stuff.

Sean: Also all he does is say annoying stuff.

Rebel: You say annoying stuff.

Void: PBX was annoying too, and you hated him. Why do you like Metabad so much?

Rebel: You like Metabad so much.

Void: Don’t shove words in my mouth!

Rebel: You shove words in your mouth.

Outlaw: Aw, c’mon guys, let’s be civil, ‘kay? We can’t leave one of our pals behind.

Dark Knight: Yeah, after all, who am I gonna beat up? Or help me gang up on Sean?

Sean: Hmm… maybe we really shouldn’t look for him…

Rebel: NO WE FIND HIM NOW!! *kicks Sean off the ship*

Sean: AAAAHHHHHHH!! *sinks into the water*

Void: DAMN IT WE DID THIS BEFORE TOO!!

*As the team starts searching for the missing Metabad… well, let’s just take a look as to where he is, shall we?*

Metabad: Whoooooooooooooo… I’m feelin’ kinda funny! Not rawkin. *spits a fish out mouth* Hey that rawks! *rawks but stops* But no one is here to rawk with me… BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Ghost: BOOOOOOOO!!

Metabad: AHHHHH A GHOST!! *swipes at it only for his hand to pass through* GO AWAY MR. BOOSTER I DON’T GOT NO MONEY!!

Ghost: *stops and blinks* Are you stupid or something, kid?

Metabad: Hey I’m not stupid! I was given a trophy for diligence, ya know!

Ghost: Riiiight… Anyway, I take it you’re here to stop Dracula?

Metabad: Le-huh?

Ghost: Le-huh? LE-HUH!? C’mon kid, you’re at freakin’ Castlevania for crying outloud! And Dracula was just revived for God knows how many times now… this has to be like, what, ressurection #325?

Metabad: Sounds like a cool dude I know named Siggy! He keeps on dying and dying and no matter what he just keeps on coming back and is weirder and weirder and he has some pal named Zero and he dies a lot too and I dunno I think they may be related or something I mean I hear they shared the same virus speaking of which I once caught a cold and gave it everyone I knew and we all got sick hey maybe I’m related to all of those people now but that means that everyone rawks and that can’t be because only me and Rebel rawk ’cause we’re the one and only Super Awesome Fighting Force–

Ghost: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

Metabad: BUT I WAS ONTO SOMETHING THERE!!

Ghost: No, seriously, no one cares about your freaking theories.

Metabad: I WAS TRYING TO RAAAAAAAAAAWK!!

Ghost: Uh-huh. Anyway, go beat Dracula already!

Metabad: Why?

Ghost: Because it’s your duty! Aren’t you the next Belmont?

Metabad: I’m Metabad!

Ghost: Yeah, you’re bad all right. Really fucking bad.

Metabad: Mr. Booster, I don’t think I like you very much!

Ghost: Join the crowd. Anyway, if you aren’t a Belmont then what are you doing here?

Metabad: Noooooooo, it’s my turn to ask a question! What are YOU doing here? Huh huh huh!?

Ghost: *sighs*

Metabad: Yeah, you can’t beat that, can you Mr. Booster? It’s ’cause I rawk! *rawks*

Ghost:: STOP IT WITH THE RAWKING OF THE RAWKNESSNESS…NESS.

Metabad: Awww.

Ghost: Look, I dunno what happened to the Belmonts, but you are gonna have to do. If you don’t stop Dracula, he’ll take over the world!

Metabad: Lotsa people seem to like doing that lately. Maybe we should take over the world too!

Ghost: And I’ll be sure to stab you in the back.

Metabad: IT’S A PROMISE!!

Ghost: Look kid, it goes like this… every hundred years or so Dracula is revived. Then some shmuck from the Belmont lineage comes in and kicks his ass. Then a hundred years later he revives, another Belmont defeats him, and so and so forth. It’s a never ending cycle.

Metabad: Hmm… sounds easy to me!

Ghost: But you need a whip. *hands him one* Not the exact one the Belmonts use, but meh, it’ll do.

Metabad: Rawksome! *starts whipping it about* Whip it, huh! Whip it good!

Ghost: Hey dumbass, be careful where you whip that thing–*gets whipped*–FUCK!! *dies*

Metabad: Whoa. I totally defied logic with that… I RAWK!! *rawks*

*And thus Metabad enters the castle only known as… Castlevania. Seriously, who comes up with these names? Oh well.*

Metabad: It’s dark and angsty and dank and angsty and cold and angsty angsty angsty.

Death: *appears out of nowhere* Damn straight.

Metabad: WAAAAAAH IT’S EMO!!

Death: That’s Death, damn it!

Metabad: Death? How emooooooo.

Death: You’re even more annoying than the last stereotypical hero wielding a whip was!

Metabad: Hey I’m not annoying! I’m also awesome and kick lots of booty!

Death: I can’t even respond to that retarded statement.

Metabad: YEAH THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT!!

Death: Whatever… are you the next Belmont to try and stop my master?

Metabad: Whoa, master? MASTER!? Masssssster.

Death: …

Metabad: *more incoherent gibberish*

Death: *whacks Metabad upside the head*

Metabad: OUCHIES! *rubs head* That wasn’t very nice, Mr. Emo!

Death: That’s DEATH, damn it! You know, the Grim Reaper? I kill people for a living!

Metabad: Do you also cut yourself on your spare time?

Death: Why do you think I carry this giant scythe around–NO!!!!

Metabad: I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!!! *points and laughs*

Death: ENOUGH!! I’ve got supper. I HAVE TO GO!! *leaves*

Metabad: That must be a big dinner!

*Metabad, having no idea what he was doing, let alone where he was going, starts to explore the castle. Elsewhere…*

Dark Knight: *staples a flier to a tree* Think this’ll work?

Sean: If it doesn’t work then I’ll eat my hat.

Dark Knight: But you haven’t got a hat.

Sean: Could be worse. *shocks self*

Dark Knight: Did… did you just shock yourself?

Sean: I did. It’s starting to actually feel kinda good…

Dark Knight: …Freak.

Void: *flies in* Got those fliers out yet?

Sean: Yep, that was the last one.

Void: Good, me and Outlaw just finished our own batch.

Outlaw: Hey guys…

Void: Yes Outlaw?

Outlaw: I don’t mind putting up fliers to search for Meta dude, but why do they all say “WANTED: Dead or Alive”?

Sean: Er, well that’s because…

Dark Knight: Yeah, and speaking of which, why does it then say in parenthesis, “(Preferably dead)”?

Void: Now that you mention it, I never put that in there…

Shadowstrike: *comes running with Rebel and Majin in tow* Hey guys, we’ve got a mob of angry people chasing us.

Outlaw: Why’s that?

Rebel: They said they don’t like those stupid fliers! Speaking of which, who here would make such an awful joke to kill Metabad!?

*Everyone stares at Sean*

Sean: I WAS JUST SPRUCING IT UP A BIT, OKAY!?

Majin: dun dun dunnnnnnn

*Back with Metabad*

Metabad: *swinging around with the whip* WHEEEEEEEEE!! I’M INDIANA METABAD!! *slips and flies into a skeleton, killing it*

Monsters: He killed one of our undead brethren! GET HIM!!

Metabad: W00T!! *bolts down the hallway*

Zombie: GRAGH!! *gets trampled by the stampeding Metabad*

Metabad: Hay, wait, I’ve got powerz. I can just climb the walls!

*Using his “powerz”, Metabad starts jumping from wall to wall, barreling into bats, witches, demons, and all other sorts of flying creatures as he climbs upward. As he reaches the top, however, a fireball comes out of nowhere and hits him, causing him to land on some nearby steps.*

Metabad: Owwie…

Gaibon: LMAO WAT A N00B!!1

Metabad: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?

Slogra: You must forgive my friend Gaibon here. He is not well in the head.

Gaibon: STFU SLOGRA U FUK LOL!!!11one1

Metabad: LOL!!

Slogra: *smacks self* Please do not copy his vulgar behavior, I beg of you.

Metabad: So liek, what’s up with you d00dz?

Gaibon: nm jc u?

Metabad: I’m on a magical quest to defeat Dracula using this whip! *flings it around*

Slogra: Gracious, please be careful with that thing! You could hurt us with that, you know.

Metabad: Sowwy. Why is it that you baddies are so weak to a leather whip?

Slogra: Hmm… not certain why. I guess you could say we are just pussies.

Gaibon: LOL PUSSIES MOAR LIEK UR MUMS FTW!!11one111

Slogra: Gaibon! Do not disrespect my mother like that again!

Gaibon: FOOSE U ASSHAT I PWN J00!!1one1eleven11

Slogra: Enough is enough! *pulls out spear and stabs Gaibon with it*

Gaibon: OMGWTFBBQ THAT HURT U L4M3R!! *sets Slogra on fire*

Slogra: ARRRGH!!

*The two monsters continue to beat the crap out of each other until they both die.*

Metabad: *too busy rawking to even notice*

*Back with the rest of the CIA*

Sean: Guys, I found Metabad!

Rebel: Really!?

Sean: Yep, here he is.

*Sean brings in an old, sweaty hillbilly with a pair of antlers attached to his head.*

Hillbilly: I’m Flame Stag. Ayup.

Void: Uh… Sean…

Outlaw: *sniffs the hillbilly* Hm… good year…

Rebel: …

Sean: What? I found him!

Shadowstrike: Yeah, you found a real obvious fake.

Sean: What do you know?

Dark Knight: Enough to see through your lame attempts to get rid of Metabad!

Majin: *enters the room and sees the hillbilly* …u guyz dont want majjy no more?? *tears up and runs off*

Void: Majin, don’t run away! *chases after*

Sean: In the end all that matters is Rebel’s opinion. What do you say, Rebel?

Rebel: I’ve only got one question for you, Flame Stag… IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME!!

Shadowstrike: Rebel?

Rebel: Do you know how to rawk?

Hillbilly: I’m Flame Stag. Ayup.

Rebel: Eh, works for me. *rawks*

Shadowstrike and Dark Knight: *smacks self*

Sean: *scratches head* Ehehehehe…

*Back to the real action*

Metabad: *walking around* Maaaaaaaaaaaaan, this place is BORING!! Where’re all the cool bosses that I can beat up and rawk to and stuffs?

Medusa: *breaks out from the ground* SURPRISE BITCHES!!

Metabad: oshi–

Medusa: *sends out legions of Medusa Heads at Metabad*

Metabad: All right, it’s time to rawk. *puts on a pair of shades and proceeds to dodge all of the incoming Medusa Heads*

Medusa: Bet you think you’re pretty bad, huh!?

Metabad: Well, I am Metabad.

Medusa: SCREW YOU!! I’LL TURN YOU TO STONE!!

Metabad: I’m gonna get stoned!? Rawksome!

Medusa: Not stoned, STONE!!

Metabad: Why turn me to stone? Getting stoned would be so much cooler!

Medusa: Huh?

Metabad: Like, you could totally make big bucks by getting people stoned and you could become infamous and be all like “Whooo I’m rich” C’MON THINK ABOUT THE POSSIBILITIES DUDE!!

Medusa: Hmm… no. *turns Metabad to stone*

Metabad: *is stone now*

Medusa: Annoying brat! *summons two Medusa Heads* Take him away!

Medusa Head #1: How?

Medusa: What do you mean, “How?”!? By moving him!

Medusa Head #2: Alas, we are but heads. We cannot comply with this command.

Medusa: WORTHLESS DOLTS!!

*Medusa destroys the two Medusa Heads and takes Metabad herself to the basement, where his stoned form is chained up, meant to stay for all eternity. Medusa then leaves. A few hours later, however…*

Metabad: *is free from the stone* RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAWK POWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! *notices he is chained* Not rawkin.

*Try as he might, Metabad is incapable of breaking free.*

Metabad: Man, what I totally need right now is a useful plot device!

Slogra: Speak and your wish shall be granted!

Gaibon: LOL UR A FUGLY GENIE SLOGRA!!1

Metabad: Hay its the weird guys! Are you gonna help me get outta here?

Slogra: But of course.

Metabad: RAWKSOME!! …Say, why are you helping me anyway? I’m trying to kill your masssster.

Slogra: Well, it wouldn’t be very polite to leave you chained up in this dank place, now would it?

*The two monsters free Metabad from his prison. Afterwards the three have a “heartfelt” conversation.*

Metabad: Oh yeah, didn’t you guys like kill each other earlier?

Gaibon: LMFAO U NUB WE CANT DIE WTF!!!1one1

Metabad: COOL!! So does that mean that I can’t die either?

Slogra: No, you still die.

Metabad: Boooo.

*At this moment a skeleton guard enters the prison and notices Metabad is free.*

Skeleton: What the–!? THE PRISONER WITH THE WHIP IS FREE OH GOD HE’S FREE!! *runs off*

Slogra: Well… that complicates things.

Medusa: *bursts in through the wall* WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!? *notices Metabad, Slogra, and Gaibon* You… AND YOU!! And you, too!

Gaibon: OMG UR SUCH A ST00PID L0Z3R U JUST FIGURED IT OUT LOL!!11

Medusa: I’LL KILL YOU!! *charges*

Slogra: *pushes Metabad out of the room* Go! We’ll handle this!

Metabad: OKAY!! *takes off at full speed*

Slogra: H-hey! You were supposed to stop me–*gets tackled*

Gaibon: SLOGRA SUX DIX!!1one1eleven *gets pulverised by several Medusa Heads*

*During this whole mess, the rest of the CIA was trying to readjust now that “Metabad” was found.*

Dark Knight: So, uh… Flame Stag… wanna gang up on Sean with me?

Hillbilly: I’m Flame Stag. Ayup.

Dark Knight: …

Outlaw: Y’know, it just doesn’t feel the same.

Void: What in the world gave that away? The fact we’ve got some hillbilly wearing antlers in our ship, the real Metabad is still missing, or Majin has locked himself up in his room and refuses to come out?

Majin: *in his room* WAAAAAAAAAAAH NOBODY LOVES MAJJY NO MORESSSSS!!

Outlaw: It’s probably a combination of those three… maybe.

Shadowstrike: Juuust maybe.

Rebel: *drinking a coke* Hey, don’t forget the fact that Metabad suddenly isn’t rawking anymore!

Void: Rebel, this guy ISN’T METABAD!

Rebel: Then why does he call himself Flame Stag all the time? Huh!? ANSWER THAT!!

Hillbilly: I’m Flame Stag. Ayup.

Void: *sighs*

Sean: *enters whistling a tune* Hey all!

Everyone else: …

Sean: What’s with the silent treatment?

Dark Knight: *dismissive* Nothing.

Sean: You’re not going to shock me?

Dark Knight: You seem fine doing it to yourself.

Sean: Ouch, you wound me. Oh well. *to “Metabad”* How’s it going old pal?

Hillbilly: I’m Flame Stag. Ayup.

Sean: Glad to hear it! *pats “Metabad” on the back* At least you don’t say words that don’t need to be spoken anymore!

Rebel: Wait, Sean getting along with Metabad… *drops soda*

Shadowstrike: *gasps* You dropped your soda!

Rebel: Shadowstrike, get the mop, and everyone, I’VE JUST COME TO A STARTLING CONCLUSION!!

Void: Which is…?

Rebel: *points at the hillbilly* THAT GUY IS AN IMPOSTER!!

Outlaw, Void, Shadowstrike, Dark Knight: *face palms*

Sean: Aw crud.

*Back in Castlevania, Metabad was rapidly reaching the top of the castle, to where Dracula was located. In fact he wasn’t very far away…*

Metabad: *looking at a map* According to this map, I’m not very far away! All I need to do is go through this suspiciously large room which is in no way going to start a boss battle and then climb the mandatory long flight of stairs to reach Dracula’s room! Rawksome! *rawks*

*Thus Metabad continues his trek to Dracula, going through the large room.*

Metabad: La la la la~! *skipping* No way is some big bad boss gonna stop me!

Death: *hits Metabad with his scythe*

Metabad: OW!! *has the scythe stuck in chest* Why is there a giant knife sticking out of my chest? OH GOD!! MAYBE I’M MADE OF KNIVES!? AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Death: Don’t be stupid, stupid. That’s my scythe. *rips it out*

Metabad: Oh. Whew, I was scared for a moment!

Death: Whatever. Anyway, I’m surprised you made it this far, but your luck as run out.

Metabad: It has? But what about those lottery tickets I bought? Was it all for naught? Hey that rhymed! *rawks*

Death: STOP IT!! Please, just stop… rawking… or whatever it is that you are doing. Can’t you just be serious for a moment?

Metabad: Noooooope. This world needs more rawkin, and I plan to supply it!

Death: The world does, eh? Then I’ll kill you so this world can rot!

Metabad: *gasps* You are an evil man, Emo!

Death: First off, I’m not a man, I’m a skeleton wearing a cloak, and second MY NAME ISN’T FUCKING EMO!!

Metabad: Do you poop cups?

Death: …Say what?

Metabad: Rebel once told me that all emo kids poop cups at Starbucks. I have no idea what he meant by that though!

Death: THAT’S IT!! I’m sick of this nonsense!

Metabad: YEAH SICK OF THIS NONSENSE!! Hey, wait a sec, you aren’t Rebel! YOU FAKER!!

Death: *summons several mini scythes and flings them at Metabad*

Metabad: WHOOOOP!! *dodges them all*

Death: DIE!! *swings scythe at Metabad*

Metabad: *jumps over Death*

Death: Stay still!

Metabad: Nuh-uh, you have to make me!

Death: Fine. *creates a chained barrier surrounding himself and Metabad*

Metabad: Oooh, cool.

Death: *flings scythe at Metabad*

Metabad: *dodges* Is that all you’ve got?

Death: *laughs* Not at all!

*As Metabad was focusing on Death, the scythe that the grim reaper threw bounced off the chains and was heading back at Metabad, his back turned. Was this the end of our beloved hero!?*

Metabad: *looks down* OH MY GOD A PENNY!! *bends down to pick it up*

Death: WHAT IN THE–*gets hit by the scythe instead*–GAAAAAAAAAGH!! *falls to the ground*

Metabad: *gets back up* Huh? What happened?

Death: Damn it, how could you beat me!? I HATE YOU!!

Metabad: I won? I WON!! FOR THE POWER OF RAWKNESS!! *rawks*

Death: DID YOU JUST HEAR ME!? I SAID I HATE YOU!! I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE YOU!!

Metabad: Hating isn’t very nice, Emo!

Death: SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP!! IT’S DEATH DAMN YOU!! DEEEEEAAAAAAATH!!

Metabad: Quit whining, Emo! It’s getting annoying!

Death: STOP CALLING ME EMOOOO YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND ME OR MY PAAAAAAAAIN!! *cuts self*

Metabad: Whatever you say, Emo! *leaves* Now for Dracula!

*Metabad takes off and climbs up the traditional stairway to Dracula’s room, finally reaching the door. Taking a deep breath he enters to find a coffin with it’s lid removed. Next to it stood a man drinking what appeared to be blood from a wine glass.*

Dracula: Hmph, so you are the one I’ve heard so much about…

Metabad: That’s me!

Dracula: Metabad Belmont…

Metabad: That’s not me!

Dracula: You dare deny it? Here you are, trying to foil my plans, wielding a whip at that! You are like the rest of the Belmonts, therefore that makes you a Belmont!

Metabad: Ooookaaaay…

Dracula: So what are you going to do now, Metabad? Try and stop me?

Metabad: YOU BET!! *flails the whip about*

Dracula: Hah! That whip is not even the true Vampire Killer! I will enjoy toying with you.

*Tossing his glass away, Dracula begins to teleport about, attacking Metabad with various fireballs as he does so. Although Metabad manages to land a couple hits with his whip, he finds that it is not enough and begins to tire.*

Metabad: *pants*

Dracula: *appears before Metabad* Hah! How utterly weak. Now is the time to finish you, once and for all!

Slogra: NOT SO FAST!! *stabs Dracula*

Dracula: Graagh!

Gaibon: LOL PWNT! *blasts Dracula with fire*

Dracula: Urrrgh!! *disappears*

Slogra: Are you okay, good sir?

Metabad: Hey it’s the nice monsters! I thought you guys were finished.

Slogra: Yeah, especially after the part where you ABANDONED US.

Metabad: Hey!

Gaibon: STFU GIES WE NEED TO GET SERBROUF!!

Metabad: What the heck does serbrouf mean!?

Slogra: Not now… Dracula! Have at you!

Dracula: *reappears* You traitors. I will kill you all permanently!

Slogra: Not this time! Because I’ve got this! *pulls out a lantern*

Dracula: *reels back from the light* You dare bring light into my lair? YOU MUST DIE!! *kills Slogra*

Gaibon: O.O

Dracula: *kills Gaibon too*

Metabad: NUUUUUUUUUUU!! How dare you kill my buddies! You’ll pay for that! *hits Dracula with his whip*

Dracula: OW!! No, not the whip and the light!! IT BUUUURNS!!

*With that Dracula collapses and starts to disappear. Que victory fanfare as Metabad begins to rawk in celebration. Before Dracula completely disappears, however, he does say one last thing…*

Dracula: I’ll be back. *dies*

Metabad: *stops rawking* What a way to kill the mood.

*Suddenly Castlevania starts shaking violently! With Dracula’s defeat, the entire complex begins to fall apart. Using his super speed and reflexes, Metabad manages to break out of the castle unharmed as he watches the building collapse into a pile of rubble. Que more victory fanfare and rawking.*

Metabad: *rawks sawks awff*

Void: Metabad!

Metabad: Whozzat?

*Metabad turns around sees the Whale King and the rest of the CIA in the distance! His mission now complete, Metabad goes home and relays his amazing tale to his friends.*

Metabad: And then he was all “STOP CALLING ME EMOOOO YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND ME OR MY PAAAAAAAAIN!!” and proceeded to cut himself! It was so funny!

Rebel: HAH!! I knew that guy was always emo! That explains the scythe!

Outlaw: It sounds like you went on a wild ride, Meta dude! Kinda reminds me of the adventure that me and DK had!

Dark Knight: Except no one believes us.

Outlaw: i no rite?

Void: *shakes head* Well, at least your back safe and sound. We’ve been looking for you for a while with mixed results.

Majin: teh pplz treid 2 replace us!!

Metabad: Huh?

Void: Oh yeah, I believe SOMEONE has an apology to make.

Sean: *grumbles*

Shadowstrike: I was confused myself. Why were you trying to get rid of Metabad?

Sean: Because you kept messing with my curse! So I decided I’d show you all! THAT’S WHY!! ARE YOU HAPPY!?

Dark Knight: But weren’t you into shocking yourself now?

Sean: Are you kidding? That was a ploy! IT STILL HURTS!!

Metabad: Well it could always be worse!

Sean: *shocked* OW!!

Dark Knight: Too true… it could always, ALWAYS be much, MUCH worse!

Sean: *is hit by a bolt of lightning so hard he goes flying off the ship* NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Rebel: …

Shadowstrike: …

Majin: …

Outlaw: …

Metabad: …

Void: …

Dark Knight: …Oops?

Void: NOT AGAIN!!

Metabad: Some things just never change. *pulls out his trusty whip* And for those things, you’ve just gotta rawk.

The End

 

Why is my Car now a Footprint?

October 11, 2014

*Written by Sean and Shadowstrike*

Narrator: It was a bright and sunny day over the Atlantic Ocean.

Rebel: That’s right, do what we pay you for.

Narrator: You don’t pay me.

Rebel: Fine; do what we don’t pay you for.

Sean: Don’t you have a work ethic?

Dark Knight: Probably a lazy bum.

Outlaw: *lounging in a beach chair* Can’t we all just get along?

Dark Knight: No.

Rebel: *opening a can of Coca-Cola* Is there anything better?

Metabad: Rawking?

Rebel: Close, but not as good.

*Just as Rebel goes to take a drink, the ship rocks violently, and he drops the cola, it rolling off the side*

Sean: Talk about bad luck. At least we have more, right?

Rebel: We need to turn around!

Void: It’s only one can. We have more.

Rebel: WE ARE TURNING AROUND! ALL COKE IS PRECIOUS!!

Void: Okay…

Sean: Who’s flying the Whale King at the moment anyways? Aren’t we all outside?

Void: Shadowstrike. Majin is his co-pilot.

Dark Knight: I thought you were smarter than that.

Rebel: Excuse me? Why are we still going forward, I said we GO BACK FOR THE SODA!

*Rebel runs inside the Whale King, and a few moments later Shadowstrike and Majin are thrown out of the ship.*

Shadowstrike: What the hell happened?

Majin: *dangling over the edge* Who took the ground away?

Void: You made Rebel drop his soda into the ocean.

*The Whale King makes a tight turn and everyone clings on to dear life.*

Shadowstrike: THERE IS NO NEED TO RUSH!

Rebel: COKE IS AT STAKE!

*The Whale King then splashes down and lands on the water. Rebel comes back out.*

Rebel: Okay, EVERYONE OFF! *he proceeds to punt everyone off the Whale King.* AND DON’T COME BACK WITHOUT COKE!

Metabad: I CAN’T SWIM!

Rebel: Well you better learn fast.

Sean: I wonder what’s at the bottom…. *drifts down*

Void: Okay everyone, let’s get this done fast. We gotta find this Coca-Cola. Are we ready?

Majin: Incoherent babble.

Shadowstrike: Ye–*a giant fish grabs his leg and drags him down*–AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

Dark Knight: No.

Metabad: Help!

Dark Knight: GET BACK HERE! WE ALL HAVE TO DO THE WORK!!

Outlaw: Sure, I guess.

Rebel: Good enough.

*The Whale king starts to fly up*

Rebel: I’m not landing until you have a full can’s worth.

*Everyone scrambles while Sean and Shadowstrike sink to the bottom*

Shadowstrike: Any clue where we are?

Sean: Well, we recently flew over a town called Angel Grove.

Shadowstrike: Really?

Sean: Yeah, weird place. They have beaches, but only a few miles outside of town and you’re in a desert.

Shadowstrike: What’s that big metal thing over there? Looks like a ton of stuff is growing on it.

Sean: Dunno. Let’s swim closer.

Shadowstrike: Wait, hey look over there!

Sean: What is it?

Shadowstrike: I found Waldo!

Waldo: Ah! *runs away*

Sean: This giant metal thing….looks like some kind of dragon…

Sean and Shadowstrike: I WANT IT!

Sean and Shadowstrike: NO I WANT IT!

Sean: Like you could repair that thing!

Shadowstrike: Like you could fly it!

*Both glare at each other*

Sean and Shadowstrike: Fine, we’ll share it. But don’t tell anyone else!

Sean: You know, now that we’re closer, I think I recognize this…

Shadowstrike: Godzilla in samurai armor?

Sean: No… You had a relative back from the old teams before X, right?

Shadowstrike: Yeah, my grandfather was on Drastic something, why?

Sean: Did he ever mention the Power Rangers?

Shadowstrike: I don’t remember. He had a lot of stories.

Sean: They were a series of teams of humans given special powers by their commander who’d be anything from a floating head to some other weird alien. They piloted giant robots. In the end they always managed to defeat their enemies, but usually to actually finish something for good they’d destroy every single one of their weapons in the process. The Dragonzord’s power supply started failing before it could get destroyed so it just ended up abandoned. I think this is the Dragonzord.

Shadowstrike: You’re kidding? You think this is some giant justice defending robot?

Sean: Fits the description and it looks like this might of been resting here for a century. Location is about right as well.

*Sean examines the aged Dragonzord*

Shadowstrike: But we can’t use it. You said it yourself. It has no power supply.

Sean: It needed some legendary power source thing, but with today’s technology I think I could easily whip up something that would work better. In fact I probably could upgrade most of the weapon systems too…. This will work out nicely.

Shadowstrike: Should we tell the others?

Sean: Do you want to share a giant mechanical dragon?

Shadowstrike: I don’t even want to share it with you.

Sean: I think that answers your question. We will need its controller though…. I think Angel Grove just opened up a new Power Rangers Memorial Museum. Maybe they’ll have it.

Shadowstrike: We’re going to steal it? Aren’t we, you know, the good guys?

Sean: Look, its a museum. What would be honoring a heroes memory more? Reusing their weaponry to fight evil or letting it gather dust while some kids run around knocking over exhibits in front of it?

Shadowstrike: How about we just hurt the kids? That work?

Sean: No, we can’t. I’m drawing the line there. If it makes you feel better call it salvaging not stealing. Besides at the price of admission, those guys are the real villains.

Shadowstrike: How much is it?

Sean: $8 a kid, $13.50 an adult.

*Shadowstrike stares*

Sean: Look I went there because they have a cool gift shop, okay?

Shadowstrike: …What’d you buy?

Sean: Remote control models of the first ten megazords. I was thinking of having them attack DK in his sleep for laughs.

Shadowstrike: You’re sadistic.

Sean: It’s okay to electrocute me, but it’s wrong for me to seek revenge? And, no before you try. We’re underwater, you’ll get shocked too.

Shadowstrike: It could be–Aww…

Sean: Lets swim back up to the surface. They hopefully found the coke can by now.

*Back at the surface*

Rebel: *holding a whip* Work faster! *cracks the whip*

*Sean and Shadowstrike surface*

Rebel: Where the Hell were you two?

Sean: Um…

Shadowstrike: I thought I saw Waldo.

Rebel: Did you?

Shadowstrike: Yes.

Sean: He still owes me money.

Rebel: What!? We must head to the town for supplies! We are going Waldo Hunting!

Void: How would you know where to come back to?

Rebel: Put Majin in a life raft and have him circle.

Void: It could be days to the nearest town!

Rebel: Then put food in the life raft, do I have to think of everything? Now, lets go!

*Everyone takes off in the Whale King while Majin waits in the water. He is wearing one of those child inner tube things that are made to look like a duck and splashing in the water.*

Sean: Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with him.

Void: Don’t you ask the same questions about everyone here?

Sean: His are asked more frequently.

Rebel: Silence! I need perfect concentration to pilot!

Shadowstrike: Umm… I’m piloting. You’re just playing a DS.

Rebel: It’s a flight simulator game!

Shadowstrike: It’s Star Fox!

Rebel: It will prepare me for upcoming battles!

Void: We don’t have spaceships!

Rebel: Why must you all nitpick? Do you want to go back to the TCoD*?

*See Series 1, Epilogue #11 “Training Bad”

Shadowstrike: The what?

Sean: What’s that?

Rebel: That’s it! All of you! I’m not speaking to ANY of you until we reach the nearest town! *storms off*

Void: Finally, some quiet.

Shadowstrike: I wouldn’t say so… we’re at the next town…

*Rebel storms back in*

Sean: Maybe we should rest for the night and then split up to find Waldo in the morning.

Rebel: I like it! It was my idea! Let’s do that!

Sean: And me and Shadowstrike can scout the town before heading to bed to spot potential hideouts to search tomorrow.

Rebel: Whatever. *drinks a can of coke* Bleck! This tastes like saltwater!

Sean: Come on, lets head out.

*Sean and Shadowstrike leave the Whale King and start heading for the museum*

Sean: That was easy.

Shadowstrike: Is that the museum over there?

Sean: Yeah, hey look, they have a picture of the Dragonzord on the side?

Shadowstrike: Who’s the guy in green?

Sean: The pilot I think.

Shadowstrike: Whats with the dagger in his hand?

Sean: That’s the controller. You can play it like a flute.

Shadowstrike: Seriously?

Sean: Yes.

Shadowstrike: Wouldn’t… buttons work better?

Sean: No. They were given their powers by a floating head in a jar. Why would he design something with buttons?

Shadowstrike: A giant head?

Sean: Don’t ask. Evolution went wrong on some worlds.

Shadowstrike: Did he at least make this dragon have awesome weapons?

Sean: It’s tail could drill through enemies and it could shoot missiles from its hands. I plan to give it more weaponry.

Shadowstrike: Like what?

Sean: Lasers, plasma grenades, charged particle cannon, death rays, force fields, more missiles, a thousand different types of flashy beams and explosions. You know, all the standard stuff.

Shadowstrike: Nice.

Sean: Now we just need to get past security.

Guard: *wearing a Putty suit* This job sucks….

*Sean throws a crystal at his head knocking him out*

Sean: You will learn from any kids tv show it only takes one hit to knock any enemy out.

Shadowstrike: Okay, but what about the other five? *points at the five guards surrounding them*

Sean: You can’t make anything easy, can you?

*Shadow then knocks all five guards out by kicking them all in the head at high speed*

Shadowstrike: Okay, lets go.

Sean: Showoff.

*They arrive to where the dragon dagger is stored. It is in a glass case.*

Sean: Like this could get any easier.

*Sean takes out a crystal and carves out a hole in the glass. He grabs the dragon dagger along with an example morpher and a powerless dragon coin. Alarms go off and dozens of Z Putties arrive.*

Shadowstrike: Holy crap! Thats a lot!

Sean: Seriously, how are these guys stronger? They have a giant target on their chest that destroys them! Just hit the ‘Z’.

Shadowstrike: You’re kidding.

Sean: Sadly, no.

*They hit the ‘Z’ with quick, accurate shots and every Z Putty just explodes*

Sean: Its nice that they have a theme, but really they could do better. Lets just go back to the Whale King. We can repair and upgrade the Dragonzord tomorrow.

*The next day*

Rebel: WE ARE TAKING OFF!! Waldo, no longer shall you elude me you sneaky bastard! WHY AREN’T WE FLYING!?

Shadowstrike: You’re standing on the controls.

Rebel: So?

Void: Just get down already.

Rebel: DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!

Sean: Just get down, we’ve already landed on the water.

Void: I hope Majin is okay.

*Everyone looks outside to see Majin riding a dolphin from Super Mario World*

Majin: *incoherent babble*

Sean: Okay. Shadowstrike and I will search underwater again. DK will go with Majin. Metabad and Rebel can go together and that leaves Void with Outlaw.

Void: Why do you get to choose the teams?

Dark Knight: You suck. I want to go with Rebel.

Sean: Because I gave Rebel a coke and beat up a man for drinking Pepsi.

Rebel: He’s my hero!

*Everyone splits off once more. Sean and Shadowstrike sink to the bottom of the ocean*

Sean: Okay, you can swim back up to the Whale King whenever I need a part while I do repairs.

Shadowstrike: Okay. But what do we do if they actually find Waldo?

Sean: Claim we got lost or were chasing his associates?

Shadowstrike: Why is Rebel looking for him so intently? Were they once childhood friends but now bitter enemies?

Sean: Nah, Rebel just got stumped by one of his books and lost the book before he could ever complete it. That failure has been haunting him since. Now, go get me a heavy crate of supplies from the Whale King.

Shadowstrike: Fine. *swims up*

*At the surface*

Dark Knight: AAAAH STOP! *water skiing behind Majin and his dolphin * I’M GETTING SICK!

Majin: *incoherent babble*

Dolphin: *dolphin noises*

Shadowstrike: Hehehe….Okay, now to get those supplies…

*Back under the water*

Shadowstrike: Alright I got the sup–WALDO! *drops the box and points*

Waldo: Oh no! *swims away*

*Sean fires off a barrage of crystal spears, pinning Waldo to the ocean floor.*

Sean: There, now we’ll just claim we caught him whenever we’re done.

Narrator: Several hours later…

Sean: What do you mean several? I can work fast.

Narrator: Look, repairing an ancient Zord in one day is already far fetched enough. Even considering what exists in this universe.

Sean: Fine.

Narrator: Several hours plus one additional hour later since the snail chose to challenge me.

Sean: I can stab you.

Narrator: It could always be worse.

Sean: *shocked* Ouch.

*Waldo, Shadowstrike, the rest of the C:IA, and even the Narrator are also shocked*

Narrator: …I did not think that one through.

Shadowstrike: Dammit! You killed Waldo!

Sean: *slaps Waldo and hears a groan* He’s fine.

Narrator: Minutes later…

Shadowstrike: No! We weren’t ready for a scene change!

Narrator: Fine, then finish.

Sean: And I hate narrators. I’ve never had a good experience with one.

Shadowstrike: I don’t want to anymore.

Sean: Whatever, I’m done now. Let’s just move on.

Narrator: Ahem… minutes later…

Sean: The Dragonzord is now powered by the most powerful and secret power supply known to man!

Shadowstrike: Duracell? Majin’s excess energy?

Sean: It wouldn’t be secret if I told you. It can only later be revealed as a plot device later.

Shadowstrike: How do we get this on the Whale King?

Sean: Stick it in a storage area and put up a sign on the door saying “Spinach, Broccoli, Avocados, and Other Greenery”?

Shadowstrike: You are evil.

Sean: I’m not really putting them on the ship, this will keep everyone away. Lets just load it up and then call everyone back saying we caught Waldo.

Waldo: Lemme go!

Sean: Just wait there. We’ll be back in like two minutes.

*Two minutes later, the narrator isn’t just messing with time this time*

Sean: We’re did he go? All that is left is his beret!

Shadowstrike: Dammit! Narrator, did you do this?

Narrator: Noooooooope.

Sean: Whatever, might as well call Rebel back from the wild goose chase and give him the beret.

Shadowstrike: Maybe we should put the beret on Maj.

Sean: Nah, I’d rather leave this town soon.

Shadowstrike: Alright. *turns on com link * Reb, come in. You’ll never guess what we found.

Rebel: *floating by them* Yeah? What is it?

Sean: That was fast.

Rebel: When dealing with Waldo, I don’t screw around.

Sean: We managed to find him, but he escaped. Here is his beret. We expect that he might have teamed up with the narrator.

Rebel: Damn them. Damn them to Hell!

Sean: We better head back to town and rest for the night again.

Rebel: Why!? He is in the area!

Sean: He might have fled to town.

Rebel: TO TOWN!! AWAY!!

Shadowstrike: What about the others?

Rebel: TO TOWN!!

*They speed off. Majin, DK, Void, and Outlaw show up and look around.*

Void: Did they ditch us?

Dark Knight: DAMN IT! What do we do now?

Metabad: Not rawkin!

Void: Metabad? Where did you come from?

Metabad: I fell off the ship when it sped off. Totally not rawkin.

Majin: Intangible babble!

*A swarm of dolphins hear Majin’s call and come to give everyone a ride.*

Majin: *hugs dolphin* Incoherent nabble!

Dark Knight: Not again!

Void: We need to ride dolphins back to town…

*They jump on the dolphins*

Dark Knight: Mine keeps going the wrong way!

Majin: *snickers*

Narrator: Now back to the characters who matter in this epilogue.

Serges: Aha!

Narrator: No, not them.

Sean: Thank you.

Narrator: I meant Waldo and Rebel.

Shadowstrike: Oh you suck.

*Waldo approaches them*

Waldo: Hah, I knew you’d come Code Island Attackers. You’ve been tormenting me for far too long. But this town has given me an idea. Meet my new ally, Scorpina, and her army of Putties!

Sean: I thought all those villains died when Zordon committed suicide.

Scorpina: I only showed up in a couple episodes before disappearing. No one has a clue what happened to me.

Waldo: That doesn’t matter! Putties attack!

Shadowstrike: I say we call the Zord.

Sean: What? We can’t!

Shadowstrike: Why not?

Sean: They’re tiny in comparison. We need to wait until they grow bigger or otherwise its completely one-sided instead of mostly one-sided.

Shadowstrike: Has that ever mattered before?

Rebel: Waldo! You will perish! I have found you!

*Rebel is completely oblivious and attacks a putty wearing a beret. All the putties now put on berets and scatter. Rebel runs off after them*

Rebel: Curse you and your duplication abilities!

Waldo: Now to face our ultimate weapon.

Scorpina: Something we built from all the Zord scrap in the Angel Grove scrapyard.

Sean: I was wondering where all that went.

Waldo: Meet your doom!

Waldo and Scorpina: The Waldonator!

Sean: Okay, now time to call the Dragonzord. Can you play the flute?

Shadowstrike: I can play Guitar Hero.

Sean: Close enough.

*Sean hands Shadowstrike the dragon dagger. Shadowstrike holds it sideways and pretends there are buttons. “Through the Fire and Flames” is heard coming from the dragon dagger as the Dragonzord slowly exits the Whale King and then charges forward with a roar*

Sean: Other way other way!

Shadowstrike: Okay! *plays more and has the giant robot go towards the enemy*

Sean: Now attack them! Play a different tune!

Shadowstrike: Okay! *”Carry On My Wayward Son” is heard as the Dragonzord falls down and goes to sleep*

Sean: Let me try!

*The Waldonator just stands and stares*

Shadowstrike: Doesn’t that thing have a cockpit?

*Sean has little musical talent. “Mary Had a Little Lamb” is heard. The Dragonzord starts skipping*

Shadowstrike: Why is it programed to skip!?

Sean: I was bored. Sometimes I put weird stuff into my code when I get distracted.

*The Waldonator is eating a sandwich*

Shadowstrike: Doesn’t it have a cockpit?!

Sean: Oh, yeah it did. The song is only completely necessary for summoning.

Waldo: So are you ready now?

Shadowstrike: Why are they waiting for us?

Sean: Huge fines otherwise. Special code of conduct.

Shadowstrike: Is there a rulebook or something?

Scorpina: Yes. There is a long list of rules. For example the last ranger always gets back back story and character development. Whoever wears Red is in charge despite lack of experience or training.

Sean: Let’s just get in the cockpit.

Shadowstrike: How? It’s all the way up there!

Sean: Just jump.

Shadowstrike: That makes no sense!

Waldo: Just get in so we can fight.

Sean: Stop complaining. *jumps and lands on the Dragonzord’s foot* Okay. We might have to climb a little.

Shadowstrike: Hey… Waldo… think you can give us a lift?

Waldo: Fine. Anything so we can move on.

Scorpina: Yeah, we can’t start until you’re ready.

*Waldo uses his Zord to lift up Sean and Shadowstrike and place them on the Dragonzord’s shoulder. The two enter the cockpit*

Scorpina: Now we can finally begin!

Sean: Fire the missiles!

Shadowstrike: Is that a DS on the console? You included a DS?

Sean: Umm… I based the controls off things we were familiar with. You’ll also notice a Wiimote and nunchuck.

Shadowstrike: Why does this button say “Don’t Press Unless Fighting Waldo”?

Sean: I like to make my control systems specific.

Shadowstrike: Can I press it?

Waldo: Quick, activate the stealth system!

*Waldonator disappears*

Sean: Sure.

*Shadow presses it and the Dragonzord fires red paint in every direction. The Waldonator is revealed*

Shadowstrike: Waldo! Found you! *points dramatically at the paint-covered robot*

Sean: Can I fire basically everything at once?

Shadowstrike: Go for it!

Waldo: No, we’re doomed! DOOMED! We should have repaired some of the weapons!

Scorpina: Why must all Power Ranger villains be horribly incompetent?

*Sean presses all the buttons, taps the DS screen repeatedly, and shakes the Wiimote and nunchuck like crazy. Millions of missiles and lasers fire destroying everything in the surrounding area and leaving a staggering Waldonator*

Shadowstrike: Can we impale it on the drill?

Sean: Sure.

Shadowstrike: Wait, how do we turn it on?

Sean: Oh, just press ‘B’ and then tilt forward.

Shadowstrike: Alright! Waldo! This is it! First you knocked over Rebel’s coke! Then you electrocuted us! And then you destroyed this town! YOU’RE GOING DOWN!

Sean: Actually, you and I did all that.

Shadowstrike: HE IS GOING DOWN! FINAL STRIKE! DRILL STORM HELL! *press’s B and up*

*The Dragonzord speeds towards The Waldonator at high speeds, and impales the evil robot on it’s tail, drilling it’s insides out. A giant colorful explosion appears as Waldo and Scorpina go flying into the sky*

Scorpina: Next time we’ll use parts from the Red Rangers’ Zord’s rather than just the Pink Rangers’!

Sean: Now to park this back inside the Whale King before the others get back.

*Five minutes later, Shadowstrike and Sean are standing outside the Whale King while Rebel chases an army of beret-wielding Putties towards them.*

Rebel: I’m going to get you Waldo!

*Just then the rest of the team riding the dolphins come charging in, tackling each Putty and knocking off their berets*

Rebel: No! None of them were real! Curse you, Waldo! HOW DARE YOU ELUDE ME AGAIN!!

Void: Rebel! YOU LEFT US IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN!!

*Sean places a beret on top of Void’s head.*

Rebel: There you are, Waldo! You won’t escape this time! *lunges at Void*

Void: Rebel! Stop! Wait! *gets tackled to the ground*

Sean: I think that is sufficient revenge for all the invocations of my curse.

The End

The Good, the Bad and the Oogie

October 5, 2014

*By Rebel4000*

*Last we joined the Island Attackers… Shadowstrike caused their ship, the Whale King, to go out of control and crash. Where they ended up was none other than Halloween Town, where they met Jack Skellington and his friends. While visiting Dr. Finklestein to get their ship fixed, Lock, Shock, and Barrel reported this news to Oogie Boogie. As he plotted to cause trouble, however, Frankenploid appeared and formed an allegience with the giant sack of bugs, and left him in the hands of Yuber before leaving. The two quickly raised an army and surrounded Halloween Town, preparing to conquer the land and eliminate the CIA and Jack. Raising a small army of their own, the forces of Halloween battled the giant bugs and undead creatures but quickly retreated, becoming trapped in Finklestein’s lab. It was there Void revealed that he had a back-up plan… to give the CIA Hyper Forms, but he needed time. Stalling, Void and Finklestein were capable of finishing the new power ups and Rebel managed to activate them. Now, with Yuber on the prowl for a worthy battle, can the CIA overcome all the odds and save the day…? FIND OUT TODAY, ON CODE: ISLAND ATTACKERS Z!!*

Rebel: *inspecting himself* So, now I’ve got some black armor and… *looks in a mirror* Red glowing eyes. Awesome. How the heck is this going to help us?

Void: Well, the Hyper Forms all come with several abilities, certain to kick enough ass that you’ll want to tear your’s off and throw it away!

Rebel: …Really?

Void: No, actually all it does is just increase our strength, defense, speed, etc. Maybe if you were lucky you’d get something else.

Rebel: Did I get rawkin ninja gear?

Void: I said if you were lucky.

Rebel: You suck.

Mayor: *crawls out of a corner* Excuse me, but could you PLEASE do something?

Rebel: Oh, right. Huge battle going outside. We’re on it. Let’s go, Void! *runs*

Void: I’m on it! *follows*

Finklestein: Go get that Oogie Boogie and show him who’s boss!

*Outside, the rest of the CIA are taking a moment to figure out what had just happened*

Shadowstrike: *surprised* What is this!?

Sean: I’d say that these are the Hyper Forms Void was talking about.

Metabad: Rawksome! *flexes* So now I’m both hot… AND cool!

Outlaw: I feel clean. *sigh* I guess that’s just one of the downsides to getting upgrades.

Dark Knight: I’m certain a little sewage will clear all that up!

Outlaw: You’re right! *rolls around in the mud* Ahh, much better.

Majin: PFFFFFFFZZZZZZGGGGGRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHH *foams*

Shadowstrike: The Hell!? How did he get drunk!?

Void: *walks up and smacks self* Damnit! I forgot to take out the beer reserves in his Hyper Form!

Majin: SHOOBIDEE DOODOO *rolls around in the mud as well*

Jack: *sees Rebel* Rebel! I see the Hyper Forms were a success. You’re looking sharp! I believe that is something that we would… rawk to, correct?

Metabad: CORRECT!! *rawks*

Jack: *rawks*

Rebel: Not really the time, but whatever. *rawks*

Outlaw: *covered in filth again* Boss bug, you’re back!

Rebel: Yeah. Now, where were–*gets smacked across the face by the giant bug, causing him to go flying through a building to the other side*

Giant Bug: ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!!

Dark Knight: Oh… right. That thing is still here, isn’t it?

Metabad: Well, you know what they say: When you gotta rawk, you gotta rawk.

Jack: Gentlemen, it’s time to show this bug who is in charge!

Giant Bug: SKREEEEEEEEEEEE!! *stomps the ground, creating minature shock waves*

Shadowstrike: JUMP!!

*Shadowstrike jumps up as a booster on his back turns on, causing him to go flying way past the roofs of the houses*

Shadowstrike: HOLY CRAP I DIDN’T WANT TO JUMP THIS HIGH HOW DO I STOP IT AAAAAAAaaaaa…

Outlaw: *makes a little hop* That’s a big jump.

Majin: *jumping about* ME LUVS HOPSCOTCH!!

Void: Guys, focus! Majin… try to become sober! We’ve got a bug to fight!

Majin: OKIE-DOKIE SMOKEY *salutes*

Jack: *throws some fireballs, but finds it to be ineffective* My attacks aren’t working!

Metabad: Lemme try. *rushes forward, hurling several blue fireballs at the bug’s feet*

Giant Bug: SKREEEE!! *reels back in pain*

Metabad: Oh yeah, that’s how you rawk.

Void: Jack, you should leave this to us. Go find Oogie Boogie.

Jack: But…

Dark Knight: Trust us, man! DIE YOU INSECT MWAHAHAHAHAH!! *points his shoulder cannons and fires volleys of high-pressured bubbles at the bug’s face*

Giant Bug: SKREEeeeEEEE!! *swings it’s claws in relatiation*

Dark Knight: Whoa! *leaps into the air* Hah, you missed me!

Giant Bug: SKREEEEEE!! *swings it’s other claw*

Dark Knight: OSHI–

Void: *grabs DK and flies off* Our turn. *goes overhead and sprinkles his deadly powder on the bug*

Dark Knight: Hmm… *fires his cannons from above*

Majin: zeh kids 2day… THEV LISSEN 2 RAP WICH GIFS UM DEH BRAIN dAmAgEEEEee

Sean: *sticks pieces of hard diamond on the ends of Majin’s chains* Majin, aim for the big ugly thing!

Majin: RRRRRRRRR ok *swings both chains at the bug*

Giant Bug: *gets smacked by the chains, gets pounded by the bubbles, and gets paralyzed by the powder* SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Outlaw: Guys, I think it’s working! *fires off a couple Spin Wheels*

Giant Bug: *feels the wheels tearing it’s body apart as it crawls up it’s legs* SKREEEEEEEEEEEEE!! *breaks free from the attacks and smashes Outlaw against a wall*

Outlaw: Oof… guess not. *falls down but quickly gets back up* Okay, Mr. Bug, time for a date with the armpit!

*Outlaw, daring to do the stupidest move ever, tackles the giant bug, causing it to topple over. Now on top, Outlaw puts the bug in a headlock, or at least what could be considered one as Outlaw could barely get his arm around it’s neck.*

Outlaw: HE’S BREAKING FREE!!

Shadowstrike: *falling back down* …aaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!! *lands directly on top of the bug’s midsection, smashing it*

Metabad: DUDE HE DID IT!! *rawks*

Shadowstrike: Huh?

Void: *lands* Good job Shadow. I guess we were wrong about you.

Shadowstrike: You were?

Dark Knight: Even I must admit, that attack was pretty ingenius.

Shadowstrike: It was?

Outlaw: *gets up* Whew, good thing you showed up when you did, Shadow. Who knows what that bug would have done to me.

Shadowstrike: Uh… thanks?

Outlaw: Oh, no, don’t thank me. By the way, those are some awesome shoes. *walks off*

Sean: Let’s go get Oogie, Shadow!

Void, Majin, Metabad, Dark Knight, Sean: *chases after Outlaw*

Shadowstrike: …I’m confused. What shoes was Outlaw talking–*looks down and sees he’s stuck in the remains of the bug*–Oh now that’s just SICK.

*Elsewhere, with Rebel…*

Rebel: *gets up, holding his head* Ugh… twice in one day is not making me a happy centipede.

???: I have a remedy for that.

Rebel: Who’s there!?

*A black portal opens up a few feet away from Rebel, and Yuber comes out of it, his hat covering his eyes.*

Yuber: It’s been a while, Magna Centipede.

Rebel: You!! So the Mayor was right… Anti really is behind all of this!

Yuber: How perceptive. Unfortunately it is far too late to make a difference.

Rebel: What do you mean!?

Yuber: Please… take a look around you. Destruction is everywhere. This once “lively” town is now being torn assunder even as we speak. You tried to prevent this from occuring but as we can plainly see… you failed. It must be something you are used to, I’m certain.

Rebel: Shut up! Last time… you killed the X-Hunters. You almost killed us! And now you are trying to do it again. I won’t let you push us around anymore!

Yuber: *sighs* Very well, then. *draws swords* Let’s just see how much you’ve improved, then.

*Without warning, Yuber charges at Rebel at astonishing speeds, swinging his swords at the leader of the CIA with the intent to kill. Before he can make contact, however, Rebel pulls out a small object and suddenly a beam saber comes out of it, which he uses to catch both swords, locking them in place!*

Yuber: What!? *pushes harder* I didn’t know you had a sword…!

Rebel: There are a lot of things you don’t know.

Yuber: *laughs* I see… *lets up and hops back some* I knew there was something different about you… Last time, that attack would have sliced you to pieces. Yet, now you can hold your own. Truly impressive.

Rebel: What are you getting at?

Yuber: This is the moment I have been waiting for. The fight that I have been seeking. Come, Centipede! Show me your might! *creates a fireball and throws it at Rebel*

Rebel: *disappears*

Yuber: Where did he go!?

Rebel: Behind you. *throws several shuriken*

Yuber: *dodges all but one, which tears the sleeve of his jacket* …Hm. Not bad. But how about this!? *flings himself at Rebel, slashing him with this sword*

Rebel: *deflects his blows with his saber* Too slow!

Yuber: What–*is punched in the face*–Oof!!

Rebel: Magnet Mine!

Yuber: *is caught in the explosion* AARGHH!!

Rebel: Now for the finish… *leaps into the air with his saber extended, but only hits the ground* What the…

Yuber: *rushes in from the side, slamming his blade into Rebel’s head, causing him to go flying back* Stupid Reploid… Did you think that you were winning?

Rebel: *slowly gets back up* …Yeah. I kinda did.

Yuber: You’re alive!? I hit you directly with my sword!

Rebel: Yeah… this must be that “added defense” thing Void was talking about. Ow ow ow… I’ve got a huge mark though. *touches the dent*

Yuber: …Ridiculous. I must have just not hit you hard enough. Prepare yourself! *rushes forward*

Rebel: *counters with his saber*

Yuber: *locked in place* Urgh… you have improved… I’ll give you that much…

Rebel: You better be careful trying to do this with me. After all, I’ve got two extra hands. *grins* Wouldn’t want to belt ya in the face again.

Yuber: Quiet! *breaks free* I will slaughter you!! *creates a massive blast of fire before him with the Fire Rune*

Rebel: *caught on fire* AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Yuber: Don’t die yet… I have only just begun! *charges in and starts hacking Rebel to pieces*

Rebel: YARGHH!!

*Yuber finally moves in for the kill as he uses one of his swords to slice Rebel’s head clean off his shoulders, which creates an audible “clank” as it hits the ground. As the fire dies down, Yuber is seen standing, watching.*

Yuber: *panting* …Hah. Hahahah. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!! Finally had it coming, didn’t you!? Pompous robot. I suppose I was wrong in assuming that YOU of all people was the one to bring me the greatest fight I had ever faced. *turns* No… of course not. That day shall never come. *starts to walk away*

Rebel: *reappears behind Yuber, restraining him* April Fools!

Yuber: Wh-What the–!? *struggles* What is this!?

Rebel: April Fools, duh. Why else would I bother sneaking up behind you, grab you, and then yell “April Fools!”?

Yuber: It’s… not even April yet!

Rebel: Bah… April, not April… You’re just splitting hairs.

Yuber: *angry* How did you survive!?

Rebel: C’mon, I’m a freakin’ ninja (or at least a wannabee)! What you destroyed was a simple replacement. *points at a burnt, hacked up log on the ground*

Yuber: A… replacement!? Since when!?

Rebel: Since now.

Yuber: Go back to then!

Rebel: Okay. Right… now.

Yuber: But what happened to then!?

Rebel: It’s now.

Yuber: Grrr…

Rebel: I know you were really strong because of last time, so I planned for this moment just in case. After you attacked that decoy I prepared all I needed to do was teleport behind you.

Yuber: Why, you… if it weren’t for that pathetic modification you’d be nothing! Nothing!!

Rebel: Maybe so. But I ain’t gonna miss this opportunity for payback! Time to say nighty-night! *stabs him with his tail, injecting a poison into him*

Yuber: DAMNIT!!! *screams in pain before lunging forward, free from his restraints*

Rebel: *is knocked onto the ground* Gah!! …Man, this guy is unbelievably strong!

Yuber: Strong? I’ll show you “strong!” *his hand starts to glow* The power of my Eight Devil Rune will bring you to understand a whole new world of pain!

Rebel: What the heck is an Eight Devil Rune?

Yuber: Oh yes, you were unconcious at the time when I first used it. I enjoyed using it to beat up your little stag friend. I’m surprised he lived.

Rebel: You did what to Metabad!?

Yuber: TIME TO DIE!!

*In an instant the power of the Eight Devil Rune was awoken, and Yuber ran circles around Rebel, creating several after-images in his wake. Rebel could only stand there and prepare for the worst.*

Rebel: He’s moving too fast… I can’t hit him… I can’t get past him… I can’t even teleport with this mess!

Yuber: *moves in for the kill, slashing him up with his swords*

Rebel: AAAAHHHHHHHHH!! *is nicked up badly*

Yuber: *finishes by stabbing Rebel directly in the throat*

Rebel: Gurk!! *clutches the blade in his throat*

Yuber: *stops moving* I heard it was the latest fashion. I must say it suits your style well… that of failure.

Rebel: Grrk… *reaches for the handle*

Yuber: Can you make it?

Rebel: *grabs hold of it and slowly pulls the blade out* Grrphllckrraaagh!! *throws the blade down on the ground*

Yuber: *claps* Not bad. Not bad at all. You certainly have stamina.

Rebel: *holding his throat* G-go fuck yourself…

Yuber: Believe me, if it was possible I would have already tried.

Rebel: !?

Yuber: Hah, bet you didn’t expect me to say something like that, did you?

Rebel: *gets up… barely* Actually… No. I didn’t. (Freak.)

Yuber: Oh well. *points his remaining sword at Rebel* So what now, Magna Centipede? Are we to be two immortals locked in an epic battle until Judgment Day and trumpets sound?

Rebel: *points his beam saber at Yuber* Or you could surrender.

Yuber: I think not. Let’s finish this.

*The two fighters walk around in circles, each one waiting for the other to make a slight move to initiate the final blow. Tension builds between them.*

Rebel: …

Yuber: …

Rebel: …

Yuber: … *twitches*

Rebel: … *lunges*

*There is a moment of silence as both move in close, locked together for what seems to be eternity. Suddenly, though, Yuber faulters.*

Yuber: GAAH!! *reels back, holding his wounded arm as he drops his remaining sword*

Rebel: (Now’s my chance!) *charges and swings*

Yuber: *leaps back and dodges*

Rebel: What the…?

Yuber: Most… impressive… To think that you would suddenly become so powerful in such little time…

Rebel: What’s it to you?

Yuber: This was just a test, see… *straightens up, still holding arm* Yes, a test. I had no doubt in my mind that you would provide an “entertaining” duel.

Rebel: Say what!?

Yuber: Unfortunately, I must cut this short. Next time, I hope to involve a few more of your friends. After all, the best battles is when the most blood is spilled.

Rebel: No! I won’t let you! *charges*

Yuber: *disappears into a portal*

Rebel: Darn! *lands where Yuber was* He got away… *clenches fist* I’ll show you the best battle! Just you wait!!

*Back with the rest of the CIA, they were battling agains the swarms of undead monsters and insects, trying to reach their leader, Oogie Boogie, as well as their comrade, Jack.*

Outlaw: Spin Wheel! *mows over a large group of monsters*

Shadowstrike: Man, these guys are getting easy! *slices through a couple*

Sean: Again, I’d say that’s probably all thanks to Void’s Hyper Forms. *encases a bug in crystal before shattering it with his shell*

Void: You can all thank me later. *blasts a small group with a Silk Shot*

Oogie: *in the very back* Crush them! Don’t let a single one of those Reploids survive!

Jack: Oogie! *emerges from the crowd*

Oogie: J-JACK!? You’re still alive!?

Jack: It’s time to put a stop to this, Oogie. *lunges*

Oogie: *dodges* Hahah, I think not, “old friend!” *to two zombies* Take care of ‘im for me!

Zombies: GRAAAAAGH!! *steps between Jack and Oogie*

Jack: Hmm… this is going to be difficult…

*Without warning, however, the zombies disappear, along with the rest of the undead monsters, effectively cutting Oogie’s forces by half.*

Oogie: WHAT THE!?

Dark Knight: *easily blasts a pair of insects out the way* All right, they’re fleeing!

Metabad: W00T!! *speeds past the remaining opposition to Jack* I WIN!!

Shadowstrike: This wasn’t a race, genius.

Metabad: THEN WHY WAS MR. SMELLY AHEAD OF ME, HUH?

Majin: *wearing a bannana peel on head* im a keckleon lol

Oogie: *backing away* What’s going on!? Where are my men going!?

Rebel: *appears* Yuber fled.

Void: Rebel!

Outlaw: You got Yuber, boss bug?

Rebel: Yep. After Yuber was finished, I guess whatever the heck he summoned went with him.

Oogie: It… it can’t be!

Jack: It’s all over, Oogie. Just give up while you still can!

Sean: Logically, it’s the only choice you have left.

Oogie: “Logically”!? BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! That’s a good one! You fools, I’m the Boogie Man! I can do whatever the Hell I want! And if you aren’t shaking, then there’s something very wrong.

Metabad: ‘Cause this’ll be the last time we hear the Boogie Song?

Oogie: No, it just means you are stupid.

Metabad: Oshi.

Majin: gaspuh

Dark Knight: So, what exactly is it that Mr. Boogie Man is going to do? Run away from us again?

Outlaw: I still want to try out these new chompers, guys… *chomps jaws in front of Oogie*

Oogie: Grr… So you like making fun of me, is that it!? I’ll show you all a thing or two! Behold!

*Suddenly Oogie starts to inhale, and inhale he does. His lungs continue to suck in so much air that his mouth becomes a literal vaccuum.*

Dark Knight: What the heck is he doing?

Jack: I’m not certain…

Oogie: SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… *starts to inflate horribly*

Sean: *eyes widening* Guys, I think he’s…

Rebel: HE’S GOING TO BLOW!!

Shadowstrike: Guys, hold on, I’ll get us out of here! Just… grab on!

*Everyone grabs hold of Shadowstrike, who turns around and, activating the booster on his back, takes off at blazing speeds.*

Oogie: SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… *expands to monsterous size*

Void: *panicking* Faster, Shadow, faster!

Shadowstrike: I’M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN!!

Metabad: We aren’t going to make it!

Majin: *has his arms sticking out* WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Oogie: SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO–

*Suddenly Oogie explodes, creating a deafening bang as it sounds out throughout Halloween Town. The explosion however, did not yield a terrible blast. On the contrary, it yielded… bugs. A giant wave of bugs which was smothering Halloween Town!*

Void: Bugs!? He was made of BUGS!?

Jack: Yep.

Sean: It’s coming our way!

Outlaw: AWESOME!! *opens his mouth*

Rebel: Outlaw, now is not the time to be stu–

Shadowstrike: *trips on the bugs and falls* Oof!

Everyone else: AHHHHHHHHH!! *is hit by the bugs*

*After the entire town is flattened by the bugs, the creepy crawlers begin to disperse, allowing the group to emerge, showing that they are indeed unscathed.*

Outlaw: *erupts from the bugs* THIS IS EVEN BETTER THAN CHRISTMAS!! *chomps down on a few*

Shadowstrike: *spits a roach out of his mouth* PHLECK!! Stop it! I don’t feel so good…

Dark Knight: And take a look at this worm! *holds a ten foot-long worm*

Outlaw: Beautiful. *sheds a tear*

Shadowstrike: *turns green and runs off*

Void: *in the air* Yuck. Even if we weren’t killed we are going to smell for weeks.

Majin: Ugh… the impact knocked the booze right outta me… Where am I again?

Metabad: In a place that’s not rawkin, that’s for sure!

Majin: Oh. Could be worse though.

Sean: *zapped* Ow. Stupid curse. Ow. Stupid saying. Ow. Stupid teammates. Ow.

Metabad: Could always be worse, though!

Sean: *zapped* For the last time, stop saying that!

Jack: *gets up, holding his head* Oogie must have consumed a lot of bugs to pull that trick off…

Rebel: *kicks a pile* So what now? He exploded. Does that mean he’s dead?

Shadowstrike: *crawling back* I sure hope so… No more bugs please…

Jack: Well, Oogie is composed of bugs. The sack merely holds them all together.

Void: Wait a tick. He’s composed of bugs, and the sack just holds them together?

Jack: Yes. Why?

Void: Look around you, Jack! The entire town is covered with these things!

Jack: I don’t really understand what you are getting at, Void…

Rebel: Allow me to answer my savage friend, Jack.

Void: Savage!?

Rebel: Quiet. What he means to say, is that with all of these bugs everywhere, that means Oogie is in essence covering the entire town.

Void: Yes!

Jack: Disturbing thought.

Outlaw: *mouth full of bugs* Waih, oh ahm edding Ohgay?

Void: Exactly!

Outlaw: *spits the bugs out*

Dark Knight: So… what does this mean?

Void: Please, tell them Rebel!

Rebel: It means that it’s going to take a loooooong time to clean all of this Oogie up.

Jack: *nods* Ohhh.

Void: *smacks self*

Rebel: What? Is that not what you were going to say?

Void: No!

Metabad: Guys, my rawky senses are tingling.

Void: You idiots, this doesn’t rawk! All of these bugs covering the town means that Oogie can–

*A violent shake interupts Void, as another shake starts a few moments later, followed by a full-blown earthquake. The bugs, surrounding the CIA, start to squirm to life as they grab hold of all the rubble and remaining structures in the town, before moving to the center of the town. There they start to build, higher, higher, and higher up, creating a giant version of Oogie.*

Oogie: MWOHOHOHOHOHOH!!

Shadowstrike: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?

Oogie: I’M THE BOOGIE MAN!!

Shadowstrike: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Dark Knight: Okay, I have NO idea what’s going on anymore!

Void: Oogie didn’t explode to kill us! He used it to cover the town so he could rebuild himself into that monstrosity!

Jack: That fiend!

Oogie: THAT’S RIGHT FOOLS!! YOU MADE IT ALL TOO EASY!! AND WITH THIS BODY I WILL CRUSH YOU LIKE THE PESTS YOU ARE!! *stomps*

Majin: RUN AWAY!! *runs*

Everyone else: *runs*

Oogie: OH, JACK, PLEASE DON’T RUN AWAY!! I’VE GOT FRIENDS TO SEE YOU AFTER ALL!!

Jack: Friends? What friends!?

Sally: *within Oogie* Jack! Help me!!

Finklestein: Oogie captured us! We’re being crushed!

Mayor: Jack, please, I’m only an elected official here, I can’t handle these situations by myself!!

Monsters: JAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaack…

Oogie: *silences them* THAT’S ENOUGH OUTTA YOU!! SO WADDYA SAY TO THAT JACK!?

Jack: Sally, Finklestein… everyone! I’m coming! *tries to run*

Outlaw: Whoa, hey! Stop!! *grabs Jack*

Jack: Let go of me, Outlaw!! I must save my friends!!

Outlaw: Look, I know you wanna save your people and all. That’s cool. But it won’t do you no good if you get killed… well, killed any further.

Dark Knight: Listen to the gator! He knows stuff.

Jack: You’re… right. I’m sorry.

Sean: Well, now that that’s been settled, we need to figure out how to stop this thing. Any suggestions?

Shadowstrike: Aren’t you one of the two smart guys in the group?

Sean: And aren’t you the guy who is supposed to use common sense?

Shadowstrike: And aren’t you guys the people who are supposed to ignore said common sense?

Sean: And aren’t you the guy who keeps wearing a bucket on his head?

Shadowstrike: Could be worse.

Sean: *shocked* I should have saw that coming.

Oogie: HEY BOYS… *faces Sean and Shadow* AREN’T YOU FORGETTING ABOUT SOMETHING!?

Shadowstrike: Damnit, he’s right!

Majin: C’mon guys, let’s show him what we’re made of!

Metabad: TIME TO GET THE RAWK JUICES FLOWING!!

*The CIA and Jack release a barrage of multiple attacks directed at the giant Oogie-Boogie, only to watch in vain as the attacks do minimal damage.*

Oogie: *laughs* FOOLS!! THAT FELT LIKE A SPRING BREEZE!! WITH THIS NEW SHELL MADE FROM THE RUBBLE OF THIS DECAYED TOWN I AM INVINCIBLE!!

Metabad: Oh yeah!?

Oogie: Yeah.

Metabad: Oh damn, the way you totally said “yeah” in a non-yelling sort of way just completely deflated my ego. I don’t even feel like rawking anymore.

Oogie: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Majin: *looks at the audience* It’s been one of those days. C’mon, Metabad!

Oogie: NOW I’M GONNA CRUSH YOU!! *forms two giant six-sided dice out of rubble and lobs it at the CIA*

Majin: NOT AGAIN!! *runs

Jack: TAKE COVER!! *runs*

Everyone else: *runs*

Oogie: OOOOH, WHADDA WE HAVE HERE? *sees the dice* WHAT!? SNAKE EYES!? *slams fist on the dice, causing them to explode in a rain of garbage*

Rebel: My magnets!! *trying futily to dodge the garbage* Arrgh!! My powers are… being cancelled…

Sean: *hiding in his shell* Seems like the Hyper Forms don’t negate our basic weaknesses.

Dark Knight: These Hyper Forms are worthless!

Void: Hey! Don’t say that! Unlike the others you even got new weapons!

Dark Knight: Pfft, yeah, and they can’t even shoot bullets.

Void: HOW WOULD BULLETS HURT THAT!? *points at Oogie*

Oogie: YOOHOO~, DON’T FORGET ABOUT ME!! *throws another pair of dice*

Everyone else: AHHHH!! *runs*

Oogie: *looks at the results* WHAT!? SNAKE EYES AGAIN!?!? I DON’T BELIEVE THIS! *smashes the dice*

Rebel: *continually getting pelted* Urgh… too much… can’t hold on… *passes out*

Majin: *grabs Rebel* Guys, Rebel isn’t looking good. At this rate…

Jack: None of us will survive.

Metabad: I am at a loss for all that is witty.

Shadowstrike: I’m surprised you didn’t say something about rawking. Were you actually serious back there?

Metabad: …

Shadowstrike: Well?

Metabad: DAMNIT!! *clutches head in frustration*

Outlaw: Is this boy okay?

Metabad: I just had the most RAWKSOME idea ever. But then it goes against what I just said I wasn’t gonna do!

Dark Knight: Which was!?

Metabad: Like, that Ooger Booger or whatever is kinda doing what Void does. Gathers garbage. That’s why Rebel got beaten so fast, ja? So I was thinkin’… since he’s kinda made of junk right now, couldn’t Void, like… rip it off?

Shadowstrike: …

Majin: …

Outlaw: …

Dark Knight: …

Jack: …

Sean: …

Void: …Metabad, that was ingenius.

Metabad: D00D!! I’ve suddenly got the rawk back! *rawks*

Void: One problem, though. I can’t rip all that junk off.

Metabad: I’ve lost the rawk again.

Void: *rubs chin* HOWEVER… it may still be possible.

Outlaw: Do ya got something cookin’, Void?

Void: Yep. It’s time to take that giant sack of bugs down!

Metabad: THE RAWK IS BACK AGAIN!! *rawks*

Oogie: YA KNOW I REALLY HATE IT WHEN I’M IGNORED!! *stomps*

Void: Scramble! *takes to the skies* Shadowstrike, quick!

Shadowstrike: *runs from the attack* What is it!?

Void: Time is of the essense. I need you to run around Oogie! As fast as you can!!

Shadowstrike: I don’t really get it but… okay! *activates the booster on his back* Here we GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

*Almost like lightning Shadowstrike rushes forward, nearly crashing into stranded obstacles left behind in Oogie’s wake. Quickly, however, he gains control of himself and starts circling Oogie numerous times.*

Oogie: *notices Shadow* HEY!! WADDYA THINK YOUR DOING!? *swipes but misses*

Shadowstrike: Hah! Too slow!!

Void: Shadow, faster!!

Shadowstrike: You want me to go faster!? Well… *blasts off*

Oogie: WHAT THE!?

*In moments Shadow becomes a blur, unable to be seen. As he does this a vortex starts to be formed around Oogie, encasing the giant monster within it.*

Void: All right, now it’s time for part two of my plan. *flies next to Majin* Majin, is Rebel all right?

Majin: Uh… I’m not certain. *lays Rebel down*

Rebel: *waking up* Ugh… what’s happening…?

Void: Rebel, how are you feeling?

Rebel: Tired. Need coke. Get away. *turns over*

Void: Hey! Now’s not the time for coke!

Rebel: Ugh… what do you want?

Void: Do you have enough power to make a Magnet Mine?

Rebel: Not sure… that junk really messed me up. Lemme try… *concentrates and forms one* Here… I dunno if I can make another one, though… so you better make it count.

Void: *takes it* Right. *to Majin* All right Majin, your turn.

Majin: M-me?

Void: Shadowstrike is currently manipulating the air around him. I need you to electrify this Magnet Mine and toss it into the current he’s making. When you do that, a powerful magnetic field should be formed surrounding Oogie.

Sean: *walking up to them* Ohh, I get it now… you’re going to use the magnetic field to amplify your own powers.

Void: Bingo.

Jack: Interesting plan.

Majin: All right then. I’m off! Guys, distract him for me!

Outlaw: Will do! *to Oogie* HEY UGLY!! I’VE GOT A PRESENT FOR YOU!! *fires a pair of Spin Wheels*

Oogie: *watches the wheels speed by him* YA CALL THAT AIMING?! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! LEMME SHOW YOU HOW IT’S REALLY DONE!! *takes a deep breath before spitting out a large wad of trash at Outlaw*

Outlaw: Yipe!!

Sean: Hah!! *throws his shell in front of Outlaw, deflecting the attack* Now ten times more resistant.

Outlaw: Booyah! *high fives Sean*

Dark Knight: *while running* Time to die, sucker! *fires several bubbles from his shoulder cannons*

Metabad: *mimicking* FEEL THE RETURN OF THE RAWK!! *releases a couple Speed Burners*

Oogie: *watches the bubbles and fire get caught in the vortex* HAHAH!! YOUR LITTLE FRIEND IS HELPING ME!! NOW I THINK I’LL MOVE ON TO THE GRAND FINALE…

Void: Crap!! Majin… HURRY!!

Majin: *as close to the vortex as possible* I’m on it! Here’s one for the team! *throws the Magnet Mine into the current*

Oogie: *finally notices Majin* FOOL!! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT TO DO WITH THAT!?

Majin: Everything.

*The lightning rod atop Majin’s head, now more visible thanks to his Hyper Form, extends further and is zapped with electricity. Following this, Majin releases the built-up charge and into the atmosphere, directing the lightning bolts into the vortex, which ends up hitting the Magnet Mine which was trapped there. The Magnet Mine explodes upon contact with the electricity, transforming the vortex into a powerul magnetic field.*

Oogie: HUH!? WHAT’S GOING ON HERE!?

Majin: Void, NOW!!

Void: Here I go!

Oogie: *realizes what’s going on* NO… NO!! I WON’T LET YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU!!

*Oogie slams his fists against the magnetic field, which proved to be ineffective due to the strong winds Shadowstrike was still creating. As he tried in vain to break out, Void was charging up his Silk Shot, before releasing it’s full power in the direction of where Oogie stood. In a matter of seconds the sound of metal could be heard being torn off of Oogie’s body as it went careening into the magnetic field, where the junk would vaporize upon contact.*

Oogie: NOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGH!!!

*A flash of light greets everyone, before things finally calm down. As everyone adjusts their eyes, they all see the aftermath of their fierce and bloody battle…*

Shadowstrike: My… my eyes… *rubs them* Is it… over…?

Dark Knight: *shoves a piece of scrap that survived off him* Gah… did we make it?

Metabad: I sure hope so…

Outlaw: *gets up and shakes his head* L-look…

Oogie: *nothing more than a torn piece of cloth with a few bugs in it* Y-yoyou fofoflosoolss…

Void: Is this what has become of Oogie?

Oogie: Reverangern isssssssss mmyiene!! Al-hallaala of ittt!!!!

Jack: *steps forward* Wrong Oogie. This time it truly is all over. You have lost.

Oogie: Ja-jalackle… JACK SKELLINGTOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!

Jack: *takes his foot and smashes the piece of cloth and the remaining bugs*

Sean: *dragging his shell* Finally…

Rebel: *lifts himself up* But… wait… what happened to the residents?

Jack: *gasps* You’re right! Where is–

Mayor: *shines a flashlight on the team* Hey!!

Sean: It’s the mayor!

Finklestein: Did you think that we’d kick the bucket that easily?

Wolfman: *howls* Guess again!

Jack: Mayor! Finklestein! And… Sally!

Sally: Jack!

*The two embrace while everyone watches.*

Dark Knight: I still say that girl’s got him whipped.

Clown: Hahahah! You all did it!!

Stair Monster: We knew we could count on you.

Corpse Child: Three cheers for Jack and the Island Attackers!

Monsters: Hip, hip, HOORAY!!

*After much reason to celebrate things start to quiet down.*

Outlaw: So what’s gonna happen to the town?

Finklestein: We’ll rebuild. Never a problem.

Void: Still, we feel awful about all of this mess…

Rebel: Look Jack, if there is anything we can do to make this up to you, just say it.

Jack: If I had to ask for anything… then take care of that Anti fellow. If it wasn’t for him, Oogie would never have gotten that much power in the first place, or at least thought he could have.

CIA: *nods*

Mayor: So, Island Attackers, how long do you plan on staying again?

Void: *smacks self* Crap! I forgot all about the ship!

Shadowstrike: *horrified* Oh no! With all that fighting… it’s probably been…

Dark Knight: Consumed by Oogie!?

Sean: And Void just fried the majority of the stuff he took…

Metabad: Not rawkin at all.

Rebel: Void, I am hereby blaming all of this on you! Way to go.

Void: Yeah, ’cause it wasn’t like Oogie Boogie was going to kill us or anything. *rolls eyes*

Majin: So that means… we’re stuck here.

Shadowstrike: NOOOOOOO!!

Finklestein: I can probably help create a new ship for you to traverse in, but that will take quite a while to complete… *scratches brain*

Rebel: So we’re stuck here.

*Everyone let’s out a deep sigh. As everything seems for naught, however, the sound of a dog barking can be heard in the distance. Shortly after, a small ghost-like dog appears.*

Jack: Well, if it isn’t Zero!

Zero: Ruff, ruff!

Outlaw: Aww, cute poochie.

Shadowstrike: Name sucks, though.

Void: *elbows Shadow* Be nice.

Sally: Zero! *pets* Where have you been!?

Zero: *grabs Jack’s sleeve and pulls on it* Grr…

Jack: Whoa! Hold on a moment Zero! *watches the dog take off* Zero!!

Sean: I think he wants to show us something.

Rebel: Well, what are we waiting for? Follow that ghost dog!

Metabad: RACE YA!! *takes off*

*The CIA and the residents of Halloween Town chase after Zero. They all run to where the spiral hill is located.*

Metabad: I WIN AGAIN! *does a little dance*

Shadowstrike: And again we aren’t racing, stupid.

Metabad: THEN WHY DOES THE CUCUMBER ALWAYS BEAT ME HUH!?

Majin: *drinking a beer* Burp.

Sean: *ignoring the others* Wow, what is that?

Mayor: Oh, that’s the spiral hill. It’s great for winding and unwinding and all that spooky stuff!

Sean: Not that. THAT!!

*Sean points behind the hill, where they see the Whale King, fully repaired and ready to go.*

Jack: What’s this? What’s this? There’s a ship standing over there!

Finklestein: What’s this? It’s almost without a care!

Jack: What’s this? I can’t believe my eyes, I must be dreaming, wake up Jack this isn’t fair! What’s this?

Dark Knight: Shouldn’t WE be the ones saying that?

Rebel: At this point, I really couldn’t care less.

Majin: I wonder who did all of this for us, though?

*In the distance they all hear a laugh. A very distinct one that went “Ho ho ho.” The deniziens of Halloween all look at each other with confused faces.*

Outlaw: *whispers* Looks like they still don’t get it.

Void: Oh well.

Sean: I guess it’s time we got moving…

Jack: Oh, must you all leave so soon, though?

Rebel: Sorry Jack, but duty calls. As you said before, we need to take Anti down before he does anymore damage.

Shadowstrike: Wait, so are we…

Rebel: Not… yet. We still aren’t ready. But soon… yeah.

Metabad: Damg.

Jack: Well, as much as I’d love to go with you, gentlemen, I must stay here. My friends need me.

Sally: We will never forget what you have done for us.

Zero: Ruff!

Dark Knight: All right then, let’s get outta here! *runs onto the ship*

Metabad: Rebel, let’s say goodbye to Jack the only way us rawkers know how! *rawks*

Rebel: *rawks*

Jack: *rawks*

Void: Gimme a break…

Rebel: *finishes* All right, guys… let’s go!

*The CIA board their ship and take off while the residents of Halloween Town all say goodbye, watching them take off into the distant horizon, the sun greeting them as a new day begins. Now equipped with their powerful new Hyper Forms, will the CIA finally be able to defeat Anti-Majin? Only time may tell. Elsewhere…*

Anti: Status report.

Frank: All of our forces that were sent to Halloween Town have been wiped out. Oogie Boogie was terminated.

Anti: Blasted Island Attackers… I’ll get them yet! Just you wait…

The End

The Nightmare After Christmas

September 28, 2014

*Written by Rebel4000*

*It was another day at Code: Island Attackers flying base, the Whale King. The members were all engaging in various occupations around the base, with Void and Shadowstrike in particular down in the engine room, making a routine inspection…*

Shadowstrike: So why are we down here again?

Void: *sigh* I’ve already told you three times. Do I really have to say it a fourth?

Shadowstrike: Yes.

Void: Very well. And take that bucket off your head!

Shadowstrike: Aw… *takes the bucket off*

Void: Anyway, this Whale King is older technology. Powerful, but still nonetheless old.

Shadowstrike: Kinda like X except less whining.

Void: Bingo. Now, the engine room needs to be properly checked every other month or so, because if this baby were to fail on us, we’d hit who-knows-what that’s below us…

Shadowstrike: Oh.

Void: Yeah, “Oh.” Now let’s get back to work.

*A few minutes pass as the two inspect the engine.*

Shadowstrike: Everything looks good to me.

Void: Hmm… the energy readings are all positive. Guess we’re good to go.

Shadowstrike: Man, what a waste of time.

Void: Quiet you, unless you want to be nicknamed “GDT mkII.”

Shadowstrike: I don’t even know who that is.

Void: Original Overdrive. Basically, you my friend are just a replacement.

Shadowstrike: And you carry a man purse!

Void: …Who told you that–*hears an alarm go off*

Shadowstrike: Does that sound mean we’re gonna die?

Void: Don’t be stupid. Let’s see… What the Hell!?

Rebel: *runs into the room* Void! What in blazes is that racket!? I was trying to beat my record of drinking 342 cans of coke in a day!

Void: Got bad news, Rebel. One of the cells on this engine has just blown!

Rebel and Shadowstrike: What!?

Void: Take a look at this chart… the energy levels are steadily dropping. We’ve gotta land this ship NOW!!

*And so the three Island Attackers race back up to the main part of the ship, where they then head to the control room…*

Sean: *at the controls* All right, so where are we landing?

Shadowstrike: Say… why are you piloting?

Sean: Because you keep wearing a bucket on your head.

Shadowstrike: Aw… *takes the bucket off*

Void: It doesn’t matter WHERE you land it, as long as you manage to LAND it.

Sean: But right now we’re directly over the Pacific Ocean…

Rebel: Meh, one of those islands will have to take a sacrifice.

Void: Rebel!

Rebel: Listen up, Void, I ain’t gonna let some stupid island stand between me and life! And Sean, if you land in the ocean I swear I will haunt you to the day you die.

Sean: But we’ll all be dead.

Rebel: I guess it couldn’t get any worse then, could it?

Sean: *shocked* No.

Outlaw: Ahh, the drama.

Dark Knight: Makes me sick.

Metabad: IT RAAAAAAAAAWKS!! *rawks*

Rebel: *rawks*

Majin: y oshun named pacifier?

Void: No, no, no. Majin, it’s not called “Pacifier.” It’s called “Pacific.”

Majin: wat so specific bout it?

Void: *smacks self*

Sean: *ignoring everyone else* All right… I’m gonna land this baby!

Shadowstrike: Not so fast! *shoves Sean* I’m the pilot of this ship! I wanna be the one to land it!

Sean: Hey! Stop that! You’re messing up the flight path!

Shadowstrike: It couldn’t get worse!

Sean: *is shocked and the controls are fried* Oww… look what you did!

Void: What just happened?

Sean: He not only messed up the flight path, but he fried the circuts in the control panel!

Void: *turns to Shadowstrike* You what!?

Shadowstrike: Umm… oops?

Rebel: Way to go, GDT mkII.

Metabad: Not rawkin.

Dark Knight: *falls to the ground* Urgh… the drama… suffocating me…

Outlaw: When all else fails, make some good food. That’s my motto. *heads to the kitchen*

Void: Damnit you guys, don’t you see what’s going on around here? Now that the flight path is messed up and we can’t change it…

*Suddenly, the entire ship starting spinning out of control*

Void: WE’RE GONNA CRAAAAAAAAAaaaaash…

*The ship goes flying up into the air at unbelievable speeds, before heading back down, nearly nosediving. The members on board can do little but hang on for dear life as the aircraft touches down on the flat surface of an unfamiliar terrain…*

CRASH!!

*A few minutes later…*

Rebel: *rolls out of the ship* Ugh… did anyone get the number of that last Coca-Cola truck…?

Sean: *curling out of his shell* Where are we…?

Void: That’s what I’d like to know…

*The team views their surroundings. It was mostly gray in color–the ground, the objects, everything, minus the sky, which was completely black.*

Sean: Wasn’t it early in the morning?

Void: Who knows how long we’ve been out of it…

Rebel: Well, first thing’s first. How is everyone doing?

Outlaw: *explodes from the wreckage* Awesome! Totally awesome! Look at all of this garbage just lying around!

Dark Knight: You could make a freakin’ statue with all of this trash!

Void: *rubs chin* That’s a pretty good idea…

Majin: *lying on back, kicking his arms and feet* SNOW ANGELS ARE PHUNY

Metabad: Dude, I like totally rawked my sawks off during that crash. I was all like “whoa,” and you guys were all like “whoa,” and then suddenly the ship was all like “whoa” and which made me all like “whoooooa.”

Dark Knight: You’re stupid.

Metabad: I dare you to say that again! Only this time say, “Metabad, I LOVE YOU!!”

Dark Knight: Got a better idea. *attacks Metabad with Bubble Splash* Mwahahahah!

Metabad: Nuuuuu!! *runs*

Outlaw: Ahh, everything looks all good to me, boss bug.

Rebel: Hmm… Something seems missing though.

Void: I think that’s the lack of one Mr. Shadowstrike.

Rebel: Oh, right. GDT mkII. Where is that boy?

Shadowstrike: HELP ME!!

Sean: I think that just answered one question.

*The Island Attackers run off to locate the source of the voice. There, they find a nearby town with Shadowstrike being surrounded by a group of monsters…*

Wolfman: *to Shadowstrike* And just who are you?

Undersea Gal: What’ll we do with him?

Devil: Look at him; he’s scared out of his wits! Let’s make it quick and gobble him up!

Zeldaborn: We should lay a curse on him!

Helgamine: Or turn him into a frog!

Clown: *laughs* Does it even matter? He’s already an ostrich… *tears his face off* AN UGLY ONE AT THAT!!

Shadowstrike: GUUUUUUUUUUUUUYS!!

Rebel: Hey, freaks, get away from him!

Monsters: Huh?

Outlaw: Spin Wheel! *fires a pair of wheels, causing the group to scatter*

Shadowstrike: Guys! Thank goodness you’re here!

Void: You’ve been causing us a lot of problems lately, Shadow.

Shadowstrike: Sorry…

Dark Knight: What’s going on? What are those things?

Shadowstrike: I don’t know. I woke up near this town and suddenly those things showed up! Where are we? We need to get out of here!

Sean: We can’t… the ship’s busted. It’s gonna take a lot of work to repair.

Shadowstrike: No…

Wolfman: *howls*

Dark Knight: Guys, I think we’ve got some more company…

Rebel: Stay on your toes.

Cyclops: You dared attack us? You are a threat to our people!

Void: That’s because you wanted to harm our friend?

Clown: Harm? *laughs* We don’t harm… only scare!

Metabad: What be you unrawkin people?

???: We are the denizens of Halloween Town!

CIA: Huh?

The Witches: It’s Jack!

Wolfman: Jack!

Majin: who jack?

Outlaw: Sounds like their leader…

Jack: Welcome, one and all! Welcome to the town of Halloween… Halloween Town! I am Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King! Who might you all be?

Rebel: *steps forward* I am Rebel40000, also known as Magna Centipede, and I am leader of Code: Island Attackers. Those guys over there are Void Darkheart, Shadowstrike, Sean, Outlaw88, Majin, Dark Knight, and Metabad.

Jack: Oh, it certainly is a pleasure to meet you! Please, pardon my friends, they are just doing what they do best.

Shadowstrike: You mean scare the living daylights out of us?

Jack: Is that right? Huh! Looks like we’re making good progress for next Halloween after all!

Sean: Oi vey.

Jack: Anyway, please, come on in… allow me to show you around!

Mayor: *drives up* Jack! What’s going on!? Did you manage to figure out what the source of that crash was?

Jack: Oh, it’s you, mayor! Am I glad to see you. I believe I figured out where the source came from. I was just about to show our special guests around.

Rebel: Hold on a moment, what exactly is going on here?

Jack: Well, if you must know… Rebel, was it? Well, we heard a large crash just recently. Shook the entire town! Luckily nothing was severely damaged, but we’ve been sending scouts out to locate the source, and when we found your friend we realized that he must have been the cause behind it. Of course, seeing the rest of you show up has pretty much confirmed it.

Void: Well, you are partially right, Mr. Skellington. We were flying around in our airship, and the engine died and we lost control, so we crashed.

Jack: An airship, you say? Hmm… Very interesting! Dr. Finklestein may know how to fix that.

Majin: lol beetlestein

Jack: No, no, not Beetlestein. FINKLEstein!

Majin: orite.

Void: Judging from his name, I’d assume he’s a scientist?

Jack: Correct. He is more in-tune with these gizmos then I could ever hope to be.

Mayor: Umm… excuse me… but what are we supposed to be doing now?

Jack: Oh, I’m sorry, mayor! Well, let’s see… I’m assuming that our new friends would like to get their ship back up and running, correct?

Sean: That’d be pretty nice.

Shadowstrike: Anything to get me away from this place! *is bopped on the head* Ow!

Rebel: *rubbing his fist* Don’t mind him.

Jack: *nods* Will do. Anyway, I figure that we should send some men to salvage the ship, and while they are doing that you can talk to Dr. Finklestein to see about lending a hand to repair it. Then, while all of that is underway, you can all spend some time here and sight-see!

Rebel: Hmm… sounds good to me. What do you all think?

Metabad: Sounds like a rawkin plan to me! *rawks*

Outlaw: Eh, as long as I get around to cookin’ like I said I was then I guess I’m good.

Dark Knight: *whispers to Outlaw* Say… with the guys in this town they’d probably love some of our concoctions…

Outlaw: *whispers* Good idea!

Void: I’m fine with it… even though I’ll probably spend most of my time on the ship. I don’t particularly trust a scientist I’ve never heard of before.

Sean: I can probably help out a little as well.

Shadowstrike: I don’t wanna stay here…

Metabad: But it’ll RAWK!!

Shadowstrike: No it won’t.

Metabad: D:

Majin: *drinking a beer* Burp.

Rebel: …I’ll take that as a yes. So yeah, we’re completely fine with that, Mr. Skellington.

Jack: Please, call me Jack. Everyone does!

Rebel: All right then, Jack, please show us the way.

Jack: Right away. *to the mayor* Mayor, go get some able ghouls to salvage the wreckage. We’ll rendezvous with you shortly.

Mayor: Okie-dokie then! *in his megaphone* Aaaall ghooouls, come to the town gate immediately! Aaall ghooouls, come to the town gate immediately…

Jack: Hahahah, that lovable mayor. What would we do without him? Anyway, let’s get going! We can talk on the way.

Void: Right. So, Jack, what exactly is this “Halloween Town?”

Jack: You don’t know? Halloween Town is the very embodement of all that is Halloween! Every year we celebrate the holiday in a typical festive manner, scaring as many people as we possibly can! Then, after all is said and done, we start preperations for the next year.

Dark Knight: So it’s a perpetual cycle?

Jack: *nods* Oh, it is a thrill though. Granted, sometimes it can start to get a little stale… but nevertheless, the show must go on! That is why I am constantly searching for new and fresh ideas.

Metabad: Sounds like a rawkin place to rawk! *rawks*

Jack: Right you are! *rawks*

Rebel: Now THIS is my kinda leader! *rawks*

Void, Dark Knight, Sean and Shadowstrike: *sweat drops*

Outlaw: Heh, funny stuff.

Majin: jelly bellies!

Jack: Anyway, perhaps you can all tell me about yourselves? I don’t think I have ever heard of the Code: Island Attackers before.

Rebel: Well, basically we are a group of Reploids, banded together to fight evil.

Shadowstrike: Even though we got beat by Anti-Majin…

Rebel: That was a fluke, damnit! Next time I swear his ass will be grass!

Dark Knight: Rebel sounds pissed.

Sean: Not surprising. After all, they lost their old base and three of their close friends after that fight*.

*See Series 2, Epilogue #19 “Dark Time”

Jack: Hmm… seems like you all have quite a story to tell. Well, we’ve got plenty of time! Please go ahead.

*As the Island Attackers explain their story, in the shadow are three mischevious figures…*

Lock, Shock, and Barrel: *giggles uncontrollably*

Lock: It looks like things are getting interesting!

Shock: We better go tell Oogie Boogie about this!

*And thus the three troublemakers hop into their walking bathtub, heading back to their hideout. They head down in the basement where their master, Oogie Boogie is located…*

Lock, Shock, Barrel: Mr. Oogie Boogie!

Oogie Boogie: What do you fools want? It better be good!

Barrel: We saw something amazing! Jack was–

Shock: *shoves Barrel out of the way* What he means is that a ship crashed!

Oogie: Hold on a tick… what was that about Jack?

Lock: A ship crashed, and we’ve got these visitors in Halloween Town! They’re Jack’s “special guests.”

Oogie: Oooh, special guests, huh? Sounds like this could be good… *rubs “hands”*

Shock: They called themselves Code: Insane Attackers!

Lock: It wasn’t Insane Attackers! It was Island Arsenals!

Shock: Was not!

Lock: Was too!

Shock: Was not!

Lock: Was too!

Shock: Was–

Oogie: QUIET YOU NINCOMPOOPS!! I don’t care if they’re the next ingredient for my snake and spider stew, I’m gonna use these fools to my advantage… *laughs*

???: First, the correct term is “Island Attackers.” Second, you aren’t going to do anything to them until you have agreed to our terms…

*Out of nowhere a familiar-looking Reploid comes down from above…*

Frank: …Oogie Boogie.

Oogie: Well, well, well, what have we here? Frankenploid, was it?

Frank: Glad you remembered my name. It seems that the Island Attackers have made an abrupt pit stop in Halloween Town.

Oogie: Wait… those special guests are the ISLAND ATTACKERS?

Frank: That’s right. Remember the proposal we gave you a while back, Oogie? If you help us, we’ll help you.

Oogie: Do you mean…

Frank: If you destroy the Island Attackers, we’ll help you get rid of Jack Skellington, and Halloween Town will be yours to control.

Oogie: Bwahahah!! Bug Day will soon be making a comeback, then. *to his henchmen* All right, scum, let’s get busy! We’re gonna assemble the biggest armada this world has ever seen, and annihilate those CIA fools!

Lock, Shock, and Barrel: Right away! *runs off*

Frank: Glad that you are cooperating with us. I’ll be leaving, then, to tell Anti-Majin of this news. Before I do, though, I’ll leave to you the service of someone who may be able to help you…

*Elsewhere, back with the CIA…*

Finklestein: Hmm… an airship, you say?

Jack: That’s correct, doctor. My friends here are in need of repairs so they can get back to their travels.

Finklestein: *scratches brain* Well, I’ll need to take a look and see the damage myself, but I’m confident that I can rebuild it and make it even better than before!

Void: (That’s what they all say!)

Shadowstrike: *choking* Void… my neck… you’re squeezing it…

Void: Oh! Sorry, I just suddenly felt like squeezing something! *let’s go*

Finklestein: Where is the ship now?

Jack: I had it moved closer to your workshop.

Finklestein: Excellent… well then, I’ll be getting to work then. You are all free to stay for as long as you like.

Outlaw: Gee, that’s mighty kind of you!

Finklestein: A friend of Jack Skellington is a friend of mine. As long as you can cook, that is…

Outlaw: I can make a mean stew.

Finklestein: With dried rats?

Outlaw: Only the worst!

Finklestein: I outta call you son!

Outlaw: Daddy!

Majin: WAAAAAAAAAAH IT SO SAD ;_;

Void: …Oookay. Well, I’ll be going on ahead to help with the repairs. *flies off*

Finklestein: *nods* I must be getting to work. I will let you all know once the ship is complete. *strolls away*

Rebel: Now that has been taken care of, feel free to show us around, Jack.

Jack: Wonderful! I’ll show you all the way to my place, seeing as how you will probably be spending a night or two there.

Metabad: SLUMBER PARTY WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!

Sally: *appears* Hello, Jack…

Jack: Oh, Sally! It’s great to see you!

Rebel: *to Jack* Who’s the broad?

Jack: *whispers* That’s Sally. She’s Finklestein’s creation.

Rebel: Oh.

Sally: Who are your friends, Jack?

Jack: These are the infamous Island Attackers! They come from the land of Megalopolis Town, where they battle evil on a day-to-day basis.

Sally: Oooh… that sounds interesting.

Shadowstrike: Megalopolis Town?

Rebel: Don’t ask.

Jack: Doesn’t it? Why, I wouldn’t mind going around with these gentlemen myself in order to see the world!

Sally: …

Jack: Heheh, of course, I wouldn’t dream of leaving you behind, Sally. Honest.

Dark Knight: This girl’s got him whipped!

Metabad: But does she know how to RAWK?

Jack: Don’t mind those details, Metabad! In good time I’m sure she’ll learn how to rawk as well.

Metabad: w00t!

Rebel: Yeah, as much fun as this has been, Outlaw’s cookin’ for Dr. Finks, and Void has already left to work on the ship with him. I’d suggest we’d better get going, too.

Jack: *nods* Well, Sally, I’ll see you soon!

Sally: Be careful Jack. I’ve got a bad feeling something is going to happen…

Dark Knight: Lady, don’t be silly. Nothing bad is going to happen around here.

Sally: My premonitions are never wrong, though…

Dark Knight: Then stop having them! Sheesh.

Majin: such a silly sally ffffff

*Outside*

Jack: Before we start going, are there any more questions?

Dark Knight: Yeah, who are those guys? *points at the Street Band*

Jack: Oh, they play awful music.

Sean: If it’s so awful then why play it?

Jack: Because it’s bad!

Metabad: I’m confused.

Rebel: Just shake your heads and act like you know what’s going on.

Dark Knight: Again, sheesh.

Jack: *to the Street Band* Hey, why don’t you play something for our guests?

Street Band: What did you have in mind, bone daddy?

Jack: Hmm… what should we play…?

Majin: BEER!

Metabad: I want it to be something that I can rawk to!

Majin: BEER!!

Rebel: You ain’t the only one, Metabad.

Majin: PLAY FUCKING BEER!!

*Everyone stares at Majin*

Majin: wut

*At that moment, a car comes speeding towards them before coming to an abrupt stop. The mayor pops out of the driver’s side, his face flipped over to the sad side.*

Mayor: Jack! Jack! It’s awful! It’s TERRIBLE!!

Jack: Whoa! What’s the matter, mayor?

Mayor: It’s…

Rebel: Yes?

Mayor: It’s…

Shadowstrike: We’re listening…

Mayor: IT’S OOGIE BOOGIE!!

Metabad: WE GET TO BOOGIE!? RAWKSOME!! *rawks*

Mayor: Not the boogie! Oogie Boogie! He’s coming to Halloween Town!

Jack: Oogie Boogie? But why?

Rebel: Who is this “Oogie Boogie” guy?

Jack: A fiend who lives outside of Halloween Town. He’s more or less a bully to the community who doesn’t scare just for fun… he truly is evil. I’ve had clashes with him in the past.

Sean: So basically he is comparable to one of our own villains.

Dark Knight: Could always be worse!

Sean: *shocked* Stop doing that!

Jack: Anyway, it’s just Oogie Boogie? I’ll have this problem taken care of in a jiffy.

Mayor: No, Jack! Don’t go!

Jack: Why not?

Mayor: Oogie Boogie isn’t alone! He has… an entire army!

Everyone else: HE HAS A WHAT!?

Mayor: It’s terrible! We’re all doomed! Gigantic bugs are nearing us at a rapid pace! We’ll be overrun!!

Sean: Looks like we’ve got our work cut out for us this time…

Outlaw: *steps outside with a large, steaming pot* Hey guys, I forgot to ask where Finklestein was headed. Do you think you could point me in the… uhh… what’s with the freaked out faces?

Rebel: Outlaw, drop that pot and let’s go get Void. We’ve got a war to attend.

*The seven Island Attackers, Jack, and the Mayor all rush over to where Void and Finklestein are working on the Whale King. When they get there they explain to them the newest situation that they’ve landed themselves in.*

Void: So an entire army is closing in on us?

Finklestein: Then the only thing we can do is retaliate.

Outlaw: What do you mean?

Finklestein: What do you mean, what do I mean!? And to think I called you son!

Outlaw: FATHER NOOO!!

Majin: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH ;_;

Shadowstrike: We don’t have time for this stupid random crap! If we don’t move we’ll all die!

Void: GDT mkII’s right. Let’s concentrate here.

Shadowstrike: Quit calling me that!

Dark Knight: Then quit wearing that bucket on your head!

Shadowstrike: Aw… *takes the bucket off*

Finklestein: *clears throat* Anyway, here is what’s proposed: We gather the strongest, most capable men in Halloween Town, and we use them to counter the advancing army.

Dark Knight: …That’s it?

Finklestein: Yes.

Dark Knight: That’s freakin’ suicide!

Finklestein: Then why don’t you come up with something better!?

Dark Knight: Err… well…

Finklestein: Eh? Eh? EH!? THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT!! *shakes fist*

Jack: Calm down, doctor. I trust in your words, and personally, I believe that this is the only choice we have right now.

CIA: *nods slowly*

Jack: Mayor, go gather as many fighters as you can. When you gather enough, take them to the area where the army is closing in, which I will then lead–

Finklestein: Wait a minute!

Jack: Huh?

Finklestein: I need you to stay here, Jack.

Jack: Why, doctor? Something wrong?

Finklestein: You are the Pumpkin King. If something were to happen to you, then we’d be all lost.

Sally: Please, don’t go Jack!

Jack: Sally…

Rebel: *puts hand on Jack’s shoulder* Do what they say, Jack. I’ve got an idea, myself. The CIA will gladly take the mantle and lead the troops to victory! What do the rest of you guys think?

Outlaw: I’m not complaining.

Metabad: As long as I get to rawk, then I’m cool. *rawks*

Shadowstrike: Let’s go show ‘em who’s boss!

Sean: Look, DK, things did get worse!

Dark Knight: Bah.

Majin: POOFITY POOF

Jack: Right. Then I leave all of this in your capable hands, Rebel.

Shadowstrike: Oh boy, now Rebel is capable. *rolls eyes*

Rebel: I don’t need to be chastised by some GDT clone!

Void: …

Rebel: Something the matter, Void?

Void: Huh? No, it’s nothing… let’s do this!

*The Island Attackers head out to assist the Mayor and Jack gather as many soldiers as possible to counter Oogie’s army. Meanwhile, the mastermind himself is leading the attack with glee…*

Oogie: Bwahahah! I can see those poor saps now, fleeing in terror! I got only the best bugs to do the job this time around… my own personal “super bugs!”

Yuber: *appears from the shadows* Then I suppose it is time to play my hand.

Oogie: Eh? You still here? Well, you might as well do something useful. Get on with whatever you’re supposed to do!

Yuber: Hmph. Of course.

*With the wave of his hand, another army full of undead monsters appears behind Yuber.*

Oogie: *whistles* Not bad. Then if you’re serious about playing in the big leagues, then take your troops to the other side. We’ll pull a pincer attack on those weaklings and crush the opposition!

Yuber: Sounds like a plan. One condition, though.

Oogie: *impatient* What is it now?

Yuber: I want to kill the Island Attackers.

Oogie: As long as I get Jack then I couldn’t care less.

Yuber: Then we are in agreement with each other. It’s been a pleasure. *steps back and both him and the entire army disappear*

Oogie: *shudders* That guy… gives me the chills!

*Back with the CIA, the team was heading towards the main gate of Halloween Town, where the enemy army was reaching at a rapid pace.*

Wolfman: *howls* I’m ready to show those bugs who the wolf-man is!

Behemoth: *sticks tongue out stupidly and nods*

Clown: Hahahah! *tears face off* LET’S GIVE THEM A SHOW THEY’LL NOT SOON FORGET!!

Shadowstrike: At least the residents are raring to go.

Void: I was kind of scared that they wouldn’t be capable. After all, they seem more intent on just having a good scare rather than actually resort to violence.

Majin: *sober* During times like this, the only thing we can do is fight… even people who don’t like to.

Rebel, Outlaw, Void, Shadowstrike, Metabad, Dark Knight, Sean: *nods*

Dark Knight: All right! *points* Let’s go get those overgrown bugs!

Mayor: *runs up to the CIA* WAAAAIT!!

Rebel: What is it now, mayor?

Mayor: Terrible news! Another army has appeared from the opposite side!

CIA: What!?

Outlaw: More enemies?

Void: But who the heck could be leading those troops?

Mayor: Well, we sent out a small scout… well, according to him, it was a strange man dressed in black…

Metabad: THE MAN IN BLACK!?

Rebel: Yuber…

Mayor: You know him!?

Majin: I guess this means Oogie Boogie and Anti-Majin are in cahoots.

Void: *face palms* Terrific…

Shadowstrike: What do we do now?

Rebel: …All right, we’re gonna split up. I’ll take half of the available troops and move them to the other side of town. Outlaw, Dark Knight and Shadowstrike, I want you to come with me. Void, I’m leaving you in charge.

Void: All right…

Metabad: It’s time… to rawk. *rawks*

Dark Knight: Can’t you ever say anything else that is relevant?

Metabad: WHAT’S NOT RELEVANT ABOUT RAWKING? :@

*The CIA split up with Rebel’s orders. In due time, everyone is positioned to where they should be, and before long, both sides start clashing with one another, resulting in a bloody battle.*

Cyclops: CHAAAAAAAAARGE!! *tackles a small monster*

Devil: Show no mercy! *saws through a zombie*

Zombie: *screams as it is slaughtered*

Rebel: *takes out a few zombies with some kunai* Damn, there’s too many of them!

Outlaw: *tears one to pieces* They don’t even taste good!

Zombie: RAAAAGH!! *pounces Dark Knight*

Dark Knight: Agh!! GET IT OFF OF ME!!

Shadowstrike: *slices through it* You owe me one.

Dark Knight: Hahahah, no. Thanks for the laugh–*is pounced again* OKAY OKAY!!

*On the other side of town…*

Metabad: Speed Burner! *sets a bug on fire*

Bug: SKREEEE!! *kamikazes into Sean*

Sean: Oww!! *puts himself out* Watch where you’re aiming!

Void: *takes to the skies to dodge an attack* Hmm… this isn’t good. We’re being pushed back!

*Another brigade of super bugs appears, overcoming the opposition.*

Majin: *skewers one and two more appear* There’s too many of them!

The Witches: Ahhh!! *knocked out of the sky*

Void: *fires a beam of light, eradicating a line of them* Take that!

Bugs: *replaces the soldiers with more* Skree!!

Sean: Void! We can’t do this!

Metabad: I CAN’T RAWK HERE!!

Void: They’re right… *opens up a comm. link* Rebel! How’re things on your end?

Rebel: *taking on two zombies at once* Peachy.

Void: No time for sarcasm, Rebel!

Rebel: Things are getting worse, Void! I don’t think we can hold them off like this! We haven’t even seen Yuber in this army of undead freaks!

Outlaw: *is surrounded* We’re being overrun! We have to get out of here! *clears a path and flees to town*

Monsters: *flees as well*

Void: Crap… looks like we’ve got no choice… Rebel! Get the others and head back to Finklestein’s place! I have an idea!

Rebel: Right! *to everyone else* DK, Shadow! We’re getting out of here! *runs*

Dark Knight and Shadowstrike: *follows*

Zombies and Bugs: RAAAAAAGH!! *chases*

*The Island Attackers all leave the field and run back to Dr. Finklestein’s place. There, Void reveals to them all his last-ditch plan…*

Void: All right, guys. Time is of the essense, so listen up.

Finklestein: You better make it quick… without any obstacles the enemy is on the verge of invading.

Rebel: *with a can of coke* Go ahead, Void. We’re all ears.

Void: *nods* Right. Rebel, do you remember a while back when I gave you that remote?

Rebel: You mean this one? *pulls out a small remote*

Void: That’s the one. I want you to press it.

Rebel: But… I already did*.

*See Series 2, Epilogue #19 “Dark Time”

Void: You what!?

Rebel: I know I may not seem the type, Void, but I know when it’s important to press the button. When Anti, Frank, and Ryouga beat us I pressed it, and those Yoshobos showed up which saved us.

Sean: Wait a second, so Void knew about the Yoshobos beforehand?

Void: *shakes head* No, no, no! I never knew about them before! Rebel, that remote wasn’t for calling Yoshobos!

Outlaw: What was it for, then?

Void: A while back… I started working on a project dubbed “Hyper Forms.” It essentially allows us to power up into a more powerful form. While most don’t exhibit new attacks, they do allow increased strength, defense, speed, and so on. I finished them a while ago and I was really just waiting for a proper time to unveil it… That remote I gave you Rebel is what activates them in case of an emergency.

Dark Knight: If that’s the case, then when Rebel pressed it back then, shouldn’t the Hyper Forms have been accessed?

Shadowstrike: Maybe something happened to them?

Void: That can’t be…

Sean: Guess we’ll have to resort to Plan B, then.

Metabad: But I wanted to rawk all hyper-like!

Void: Wait a second. If I am given enough time to look into the matter, I can probably fix whatever the issue is and we can use it to our advantage.

Rebel: So we just need to stall for time?

Void: Yeah. This won’t be easy, though…

Finklestein: I’d be willing to lend a hand.

Void: All right then… it’s a deal!

*Suddenly, the sound of several windows breaking outside could be heard.*

Rebel: Crap, we’re outta time!

Jack: *to Rebel* Rebel, we need to stall for Void and Finklestein to complete the Hyper Forms.

Sally: Jack! Don’t go!

Jack: Listen, Sally. If I don’t make a stand, Oogie Boogie and his new accomplices will take over Halloween Town, and eventually, the world itself. I cannot stand by and let my friends do everything for me!

Majin: Looks like he really wants to help.

Rebel: Then he is by all means welcome. All right, guys… whatever you do, don’t let the enemies into this house!

*The CIA, along with Jack Skellington, barge outside, to be met with the soldier’s of Anti’s army, raiding all the houses and chasing out the innocent civilians of Halloween Town.*

Oogie: Hahahah! Run, run, as fast as you can! You’ll never escape from me, the one and only Boogie Man!

Jack: Oogie Boogie!

Oogie: Huh!? *turns to see Jack* J-J-Jack!! You’re still here!?

Jack: Oogie, we’re going to take you down, right here, right now!

Rebel: So you’re Oogie Boogie, eh? You’ll pay for what you’ve done!

Oogie: So, you fools must be the Island Attackers. Working together with Jack… Hah! Yuber said he wanted your heads but if the opportunity presents itself, I’ll crush you all at once!

*Two super bugs appear before Oogie Boogie. They scream before charging at the group of heroes.*

Dark Knight: Scramble! *dodges*

Majin: *dodges and throws a chain* Take this, you ugly insects!

Bug #1: *is wrapped by the chain* Skreee!?

Majin: *is pulled forward but resists* Urgh!! Guys, take him down!

Metabad: Rawkin Powah! *slams his fist in the bugs face*

Bug #1: SKRAAAAAAAAAHH!! *breaks free and slashes Metabad*

Metabad: Aaaghh!!

Bug #2: Skreee!! *attacks Metabad*

Outlaw: Metadude! *fires a pair of Spin Wheels at the bugs*

Bug #1: SKREE!! *is torn to pieces*

Bug #2: Skree…EEE!! *tackles Outlaw*

Outlaw: Oof! *locks places with the bug*

Dark Knight: Get him! *fires bubbles*

Shadowstrike: *fires Sonic Slicers*

Bug #2: *takes the hits but doesn’t budge*

Outlaw: Grr… help me!

Rebel: *jumps on Sean’s shell* Sean, curl up and activate your jet boosters.

Sean: Huh?

Rebel: No time! Aim for the insect!

*Without hesitation Sean curls up and goes flying towards the insect with Rebel attached. Immediately Rebel pulls out a Magnet Mine, and using the momentum of Sean’s jets, springs off of him and toward the bug, slamming the mine into it’s face and down it’s throat. The bug reels back, letting go of Outlaw, before exploding.*

Rebel: *covered in bug fluids* Ugh… I never want to do that again.

Outlaw: *also covered* Aww, it’s not that bad. It’s even like a shower if you look at it in a–

Rebel: NO IT’S NOT!!

Oogie: Grr… I bet you think you are all something amazing, huh!? Well, I’ve still got more tricks up my–*feels his body tear*–WHAAAA!?!?

Jack: *using his claws* No more tricks, Oogie! This time it’s all over!

Oogie: *covering up the wound* My… my bugs!! You’re making my bugs spill out of me!! I won’t let you defeat me like this, JACK SKELLINGTOOOON!!

*In desperation, a giant super bug that looks like a mantis lands between Oogie and the heroes, allowing Oogie to run off to stitch himself up. The heroes can only look at each other in despair.*

Shadowstrike: Oh god… a normal sized one was hard enough! Now we have to take on a GIANT!?

Dark Knight: Stop complaining. *extends pincers* We’ve got a war to win.

Jack: *preparing some magic spells* I wonder how Void and Finklestein are doing…? If they don’t hurry…

Rebel: Things couldn’t get any… *sees Sean looking at him* Er, I mean… well, things are pretty bad right now–*is smacked across the face by the giant bug, causing him to go flying back into Finklestein’s lab*

Metabad: Rebel!!

Majin: Don’t worry about him! We’ve got to beat this thing!

*Back in the lab…*

Void: So that was the problem! Three of the Hyper Forms disappeared!

Finklestein: A bizarre circumstance, to say the least.

Void: Yeah. Oh well, at least we managed to replace them. Just in time too, with our three new members. I’m actually kind of glad I had the opportunity to redo them now. And I wouldn’t have gotten it done without your assistance, Finklestein.

Finklestein: Think nothing of it.

Void: No, really. I didn’t exactly trust you at first, mainly because I am so used to fixing everything myself, and when Sean helps me his curse always gets in the way…

Finklestein: Well, we scientists have to look out for each other!

Void: *nods furiously* Too true! We should collaborate more–

Rebel: *falls down the stairs* Agh!! *gets up* Void… VOID!? What are you doing!? We’re out there getting our asses handed to us, and here you are having a leisurely conversation!?

Void: It was an educational conversation.

Rebel: Screw that! Are those Hyper Forms done yet?

Void: Just finished them, actually.

Rebel: …

Void: …

Finklestein: …

Rebel: …Well!?

Void and Finklestein: Well what?

Rebel: HOW DO WE ACTIVATE THEM!?

Void: Oh, just press the button again. The rest will work by itself.

Rebel: All right, then… *pulls out the remote* This is it…

Void: The stage is all yours, Rebel.

Rebel: …Let’s do it.

*Rebel flips the switch and a beam of light surrounds him, preventing anyone from looking inside and outside of the cylinder. Void then receives the same treatment, followed by the rest of the Island Attackers outside, causing Jack, Sally, Finklestein, Oogie, Yuber, and everyone else to stop what they are doing to watch in awe. After a few minutes passed, the light began to diminish, revealing something completely new. Meanwhile, outside…*

Yuber: *in the distance* Hmm… It looks like things are getting rather interesting. Perhaps now is the time for me to finally have the battle that I have been seeking… Island Attackers!

To Be Continued…

The C:IA Holiday Special!

September 22, 2014

*Written by Outlaw88*

*’Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Whale King, much excitement and activity from our favorite super team. Each one was busy with the holiday so near, in the hope that no one will try and kill them this year.*

Void: *Eating a candy cane* Ah, I love this time of year. The weather is nice and cool, and people and Reploids are generally nicer to each other. Except when they are shopping anyway, and for once we might get left alone and have a nice time.

Sean: Like that will last long.

Metabad: Sure it will, in fact it’s gonna rawk! *Rawks!*

Majin: Zoooooooom!

*Majin runs around hanging his vines everywhere in an attempt to be decorative*

Shadowstrike: Not too bad, Majin. But next to my awesome Christmas tree your stuff can’t compare!

*Shadow points to a tiny, mini tree with way way way too much crap on it*

Void: Good grief.

*In walks Rebel with all arms full of coke*

Rebel: Ok I got my jolly fuel.

Dark Knight: Hey, something smells good. What are you cooking, Void?

Void: I’m not cooking anything. Shadow?

Shadowstrike: *trying to make his tree stand up* Nope, not me. Maybe Majin was sober long enough to put a roast in the oven or something.

Metabad: Are you kidding? Do you think we would even let him near the oven much less cook with it?

Majin: I’m a pretty pretty pony!! *Does a little jig*

Rebel: I bet I can figure out who it is. The one guy who should never be allowed anywhere near a kitchen. Why does Outlaw insist on trying to poison us?

Metabad: I guess he’s trying to be nice. But hey, *grins* it could be worse!

Sean: *ZAP* Ow! Don’t say that!

Dark Knight: Say what?

Sean: It could be worse. *ZAP* Ow, ow, ow! I hate you both…

*Just then Outlaw walks in with a huge steaming pot with the lid on. The rest gather around and gawk at it*

Outlaw: So what do you think? Who wants to try it first?

Rebel: I’m not convinced.

Outlaw: Oh it’s by far the best thing I’ve ever made. I used the best stuff I could find. I even sent the recipe to Chef Bender.

Void: I’m not touching it until I know what’s in it.

Outlaw: If you say so.

*Outlaw opens the lid. Uber putrid stuff*

Outlaw:(Sing to the tune of the 12 Days of Christmas)

The first thing I used in my recipe
Is mold I found in the pantry.
The next thing I used in my recipe
2 old shoes
And mold I found in the pantry

The next thing I used in my recipe
3 bad eggs
2 old shoes
And mold I found in the pantry

The next thing I used in my recipe
4 slimy slugs
3 bad eggs
2 old shoes
And mold I found in the pantry

The next thing I used in my recipe
5 GOOOOOOALD ROACHES!!!!

Shadowstrike: Just listening to this is making me sick.

Majin: Hey, the whatever-it-is in the pot is so strong I’m losing my buzz. What month is this?

Metabad: Um… December? Hence the holiday stuff and the rawking to the Christmas tree?

Majin: Wow awesome! Time to hit the eggnog!

*Majin leaves the room*

Sean: Jeez. Um Outlaw, this stuff…

Outlaw: It’s awesome I know. It has more in it too!

Void: And I’m sure you won’t stop until you tell us the rest right?

Rebel: Just one more reason why I won’t touch it.

Outlaw: *Resumes* The next thing I used in my recipe
6 spider legs

Dark Knight: Wait, only 6? What about the rest?

Outlaw: Made them into candy canes.

*Void spits out the cane he was eating and proceeds to gag*

Outlaw: The next thing I used in my recipe
7 flakes of dandruff
6 spider legs
5 GOLD ROACHES!
4 slimy slugs
3 bad eggs
2 old shoes
And mold I found in the pantry

Shadowstrike: You ok, Void?

Void: Ugh. Remind me to double check everything I eat.

Rebel: You think after living with these nuts you would have learned that on your own.

*Rebel takes a swig out of one of the cans he’s holding. He spits it right back out*

Rebel: WHO BROUGHT DR.PEPPER?!

Void: Looks like you should do the same.

*Majin rushes back in with a large pitcher of eggnog*

Majin: Noggggg… Is… *chugs* holiday treat!

Outlaw: Spiked the hell out of it huh?

Majin: Ya!

(Sung drunkenly to the tune of “Oh Dradle”)

Oooohhhhh eggnog, eggnog, eggnog
I fill you up with booze
Oh eggnog, eggnog, eggnog
With you I cannot lose!

*repeat a lot*

*Majin falls flat on his face*

Sean: Should we try and revive him or something?

Void: Nah, let him sleep it off.

Shadowstrike: He’s still useful though, check it out! *Puts the tree on top of Majin*

Metabad: Awesome! You know if he had gotten any drunker it…

Sean: Don’t you dare.

Metabad: It could have been…

Sean: I’m warning you!

Dark Knight: Might have been…

Sean: I swear I’ll hurt you both so freaking bad!

Metabad and Dark Knight: WORSE!!!

*Massive ZAP!*

Sean: When I regain feeling in most of my body you both are going to feel more pain than you have ever felt before.

Rebel: Ok who took the coke? I am not drinking the Dr. Pepper that’s in the fridge. Whoever bought that is going to feel my wrath by getting stabbed in the eyes!

Void: Is it really that big a deal?

Rebel: Of course it is! Don’t you know all I really want is one thing?

Rebel: (Sing to the chorus of “Jingle Bells”)

Gimme Coke, gimme Coke
And I don’t mean the drug!

If I could drink it all day
I’d be a happy bug!

Oh gimme Coke, gimme Coke
I’d drink it all down!

And if I ever needed cash
I’d sell you all to the pound!

Dark Knight: Hey!

Rebel: And I would, too!

*Rebel takes off towards the kitchen and raids the fridge*

*Elsewhere*

Anti and Frank: I hate all this singing!

Ryouga: I kinda like it, actually.

Frank: Shut up Pig-boy!

Ryouga: Scrooge…

Anti: I got coal again too…

*Back to the CIA*

Outlaw: So back to my masterpiece.

Void: There’s more?!

Outlaw: Yup!

The next thing I used in my recipe
8 lizard tongues
7 flakes of dandruff
6 spider legs
5 GOLD ROACHES!
4 slimy slugs
3 bad eggs
2 old shoes
And mold I found in the pantry

Void: Oy.

*The room goes dark and a single spotlight shines on Void*

Void: (Sung briefly to the tune of “Oh Little Town of Bethlehem”)

Oh why do I put up with them?
I could work without a fuss.

*Metabad pokes his head into the light*

Metabad: Because you’d get your ass kicked,
if it weren’t for the rest of us.

Void: Oh… Right.

*Elsewhere in the not-so-secret location of a cardboard box*

Serges: *Sigh* Yet another holiday with us in shame.

Agile: You would think that eventually our bad luck would change.

Violen: Hey guys guess what?

Agile: Your brain started working?

Violen: No, better than that! My stocking got filled!

Serges: You have a stocking?

Agile: What’s in it?

Violen: Coal!

Serges: Really?! That’s great! That’s exactly what we asked for!

Agile: No kidding, I’m freezing. Who’s got a light?

Violen: Uh…

Serges: Um…

Agile: *Sigh* Things never change.

*Back to the CIA*

Outlaw: Theeeeeee–

Void: Just skip to the end.

Outlaw: But I was having fun.

Metabad: If you really want to have fun, just keep doing the “Worse Curse” to Sean. I’ll never get tired of seeing him get zapped!

Dark Knight: It’s funny the way he twitches!

Sean: Payback time!

*Sean attacks DK and Meta*

Rebel: Alright I have enough Coke to make it through the rest. Go ahead Outlaw.

Outlaw: The last thing I used in my recipe
12 jars of sludge
11 rotting road-kill
10 mutant frogs
9 toe nail clippings
8 lizard tongues
7 flakes of dandruff
6 spider legs
5 GOLD ROACHES!
4 slimy slugs
3 bad eggs
2 old shoes
And mold I found in the pantryyyyyyyy!!!

Shadowstrike: Man that’s beyond gross. Far worse than anything you’ve ever made. How in the world do you expect us to eat that?

Outlaw: I don’t.

Void: Huh?

Rebel: Didn’t you say you wanted us to try?

Metabad: *Now with a black eye* Yeah. You called it a masterpiece and everything.

Dark Knight: *With two black eyes* I don’t get it.

Sean: If you didn’t make it for us, then who? Is it all for yourself?

Outlaw: Nope. This fine creation is for a “friend” of ours.

Majin: *Groggy and with the tree on his head* Tube socks…

Shadowstrike: You made it as a gift?

Outlaw: Ammunition.

*In one of the Whale King’s cells*

Trump: Blast those CIA idiots! How dare they lock me up! I’m the richest man in the world, not some common criminal. I’ll get them. As soon as I get out I’ll make them pay.

*A chute opens up above his jail window. It drops a special present in Trump’s cell.*

Trump: What in the world?

*The gift explodes upon impact with the floor filling the cell and covering Trump with the nasty dish*

Trump: I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS!!!

*Back with the CIA*

CIA: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Rebel: Oh man, I shot Coke out my nose!

Void: I have to admit that was awesome.

Outlaw: I knew you would get a kick out of that.

Dark Knight: Hey wait a minute, how come the good smell is still here? That wasn’t your stew?

Metabad: Didn’t you hear what was in it? There is no way that it could smell like that.

Sean: Then what?

Outlaw: Go in the kitchen and see.

Rebel: I’ve been in there already, nothing there.

Outlaw: Didn’t check under the sheet huh?

Rebel: Uh…

*They all go in the kitchen. Outlaw takes off a sheet that was covering a large table. All sorts of good food to be had*

Shadowstrike: Whoa! You made this? Better question, you can actually cook real food?

Outlaw: Of course! I figured you guys wanted a real feast this year. We are still a team and we survived a lot of bad situations. I pulled out all the stops this time.

Void: I’m actually impressed Outlaw. Wait… Did you wash you hands before you made all this?

Outlaw: I didn’t really want to but yeah. Dig in guys.

Dark Knight: I call first on the mashed potatoes!

Metabad: Something still doesn’t feel right. Something is missing.

Sean: I know!

CIA: HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

Majin: AND HAVE A NEW BEER!

Rebel: I think you mean have a Happy New Year.

Void: And I think we will too.

The End

Legends of the Hidden Temple

September 18, 2014

This is one of the “Specials” that appeared on the site.  Those were usually stories that either were written in a different format, had a story that didn’t focus on the main group, or was  more on the creative side.

*Written by Shadowstrike*

Kirk Fogg: Hello! And Welcome to Legends of The Hidden Temple! *swings on a vine over to a lake* Now lets meet our teams! The Blue Barracudas, Rebel and Metabad!

Rebel: Yeah! Kickass!

Metabad: Rawkin!

Kirk: The Red Jaguars, Shadowstrike and Sean!

Shadowstrike: All right now, here we go!

Sean: Lets kick some ass!

Kirk: The Silver Snakes, Void Darkheart and Majin!

Void: You’re all going down!

Majin: CHICKENS!!

Violen: PANCAKES!! *is hit by Majin*

Majin: *hisses*

Kirk: The Green Monkeys, Outlaw and DK!

Outlaw: Oh yeah!

Dark Knight: *high fives Outlaw* Lets win it all!

Kirk: The Purple Parrots, Serges and Violen!

Serges: Lets just get this over with.

Violen: Wait a sec… This isn’t the set of Lucy; you said we were going to see Lucy get filmed!

Serges: I lied.

Violen: *cries*

Kirk: And the Orange Iguanas, Agile and… a mailbox!

Agile: *strikes a pose*

Mailbox: …

Kirk: Okay! Now for the first round! The Moat! Now, all you have to do is cross the moat and press the actuator! Do that and you win! The first four teams across go on to the next round.

Sean: What about the other two teams?

Kirk: They lose.

Sean: Do they get a prize?

Kirk: Yes, we don’t kill them.

Shadowstrike: Could be worse.

Sean: *shocked* OW!

Kirk: All right! On your marks! Get so! GO!

Rebel: All right, Metabad, you ready?

Metabad: Ready to rawk! *jumps across the moat* Okay your turn!

Rebel: …Rawksome.

Violen: Nuh-uh, I’m not doing it. You lied to me, so I’m not going.

Serges: *pulls out a gun* Go across now or I’ll shoot.

Violen: !!! *swims across the moat in 2 seconds*

Serges: Yes… yes!

Shadowstrike: All right, now lets get across.

Sean: How, I’m not exactly fast.

Shadowstrike: *grabs Sean and jumps the two acrost, and hits the button* That’s how.

Sean: Nice.

Void: *looks left, then right* Okay. *flies across* That was easy. Okay, now Majin! Come here boy!

Majin: Hmm? *drinking from the lake*

Void: Come here Majin!

Majin: *starts swimming towards Void*

Serges: Well, we can’t have that. *gets a cookie from a pocket* Majin! Look here!

Majin: *looks at Serges* !!!

Serges: Go get it! *throws it back to the shore*

Majin: !!! *goes chasing after it*

Void: No, Majin! Damn it, no! Majin! I have beer!

Security: You have WHAT?

Void: Um… um…

Secruity: Take him away! *15 guards start to beat up Void*

Agile: With my super speed, I can easily win this! *dashes across the water* All right! Now your turn!

Mailbox: …

Agile: …

Mailbox:…

Agile: This isn’t fair! My partner won’t cooperate!

Mailbox: *bursts into flames*

Agile: NOOOOOOOOOO!

Rebel: *presses his button* Rawksome! *high fives Metabad*

Metabad: You know it! Super Awesome Fighting Force! *the two strike a pose*

Kirk: Well, that’s two teams locked in! Lets see who is left!

Outlaw: Lets just swim across.

Dark Knight: Good idea. *jumps into the water and swims acrost fast*

Outlaw: *does the same*

Dark Knight: All right! *presses the actuator and Outlaw does the same*

Outlaw: We just rule!

Kirk: And there’s our third! Who will be our last.

Serges: *lazily floats acrost the moat and presses the button*

Kirk: AND THERE’S OUR LAST!! All right! WE HAVE OUR TEAMS! THE BLUE BARACUDAS, THE RED JAGUAR, THE GREEN MONKEYS, AND THE PURPLE PARROTS! NOW, LETS GO TO THE STEPS OF KNOWLEDGE!

Violen: I don’t think I’m allowed on those…

*Later… *

Kirk: Okay, you are all on the steps of knowledge. Olmec, what is our legend for today.

Olmec: Yes. Today is The Legend of Zero’s Hair.

Rebel: Holy crap, that wall just talked.

Shadowstrike: That is the biggest muppet I have ever seen.

Sean: Where is Kermit?

Outlaw: Maybe the wall ate him?

Dark Knight: I’ll KILL HIM! NOT KERMIT! HE’S MY IDOL!

Serges: *to Violen* and I thought you were unbalanced.

Violen: *swinging his mace* DIE FROG EATER!

Serges: *ashamed* I stand corrected.

Olmec: The Legend of Zero’s hair goes back far. There once was a great and mythical red armored hero named Zero who used a beam zero. And he had long golden hair. He worked with his parnter X. They fought many great mavericks. The worst was Sigma. Then, one day, he fell alseep and his golden hair disapeared. It found it’s way here, and today, you must find it. The power is yours!

Kirk: Okay, that was the legend. Now I’m going to quiz it on you. First two teams to answer three questions gets to go on to the temple games.

Rebel: We got this!

Metabad: You know it!

Kirk: First question. What color was Zero’s armor?

Shadowstrike: *steps down*

Kirk: Yes Shadow?

Shadowstrike: His armor was black!

Kirk: WRONG!

Rebel: *steps down* RED!

Kirk: That is correct. You and Metabad advance to the next step.

Metabad: Yeah!

Kirk: Next Question. Who was his partner?

Outlaw: *steps down* Axl!

Kirk: WRONG!

Serges: *steps down* X!

Kirk: That is correct. Next question. What was the action that made Zero lose his hair?

Sean: *steps down* He died sacrificing himself to kill Vile!

Kirk: Wrong!

Dark Knight: *steps down* He sacrificed himself to kill Sigma!

Kirk: Wrong!

Metabad: *steps down* He went to sleep?

Kirk: Right!

Metabad: Rawkin!

Kirk: Next Question: What is Zero’s main weapon?

Shadowstrike: *steps down* A sword!

Kirk: Wrong!

Rebel: *steps down* A Beam Saber!

Kirk: Right.

Rebel: Yeah! We made it!

Kirk: Okay, Next question. What did Zero fight?

Outlaw: *steps down* Irregulars!

Kirk: Wrong!

Violen: *falls down* MAVERICKS!?

Kirk: Right! Now, they are only ONE QUESTION AWAY! FINAL QUESTION! Who was the worst one?

Serges: *stepping down* Sigma.

Kirk: Right! AND WE HAVE OUR TEAMS GOING TO THE TEMPLE GAMES! THE BLUE BARACUDAS AND THE PURPLE PARROTS!

Rebel and Metabad: OHHHHHHH YEAH!

Serges: Good.

Violen: YAY!!

Sean: This sucks.

Shadowstrike: Yeah.

Dark Knight: I DEMAND A RECOUNT!

Outlaw: Give it up already. *drags DK off*

Kirk: Now for the temple games!

Kirk: This first one will test your agility. Olmec?

Olmec: To be a Maverick Hunter you needed great agility. You are to run up this hill. Water will be streaming down. The first team to hit the actuator will win a pendant and be one step closer to my temple.

Rebel: I’ll take this one, you don’t do well with water.

Metabad: Yeah… Go get it man. We need to win.

Serges: *to Violen* You! Fool! Do this one!

Violen: Why should I?

Serges: I said so.

Violen: Oh, well that’s enough for me.

Kirk: On your mark, get set, GO!

Violen: *goes bounding up the hill, only to be hit by a gusher of water and come sliding down fast, and slams thru a wall* Ow…

Rebel: Amateur. *teleports and hits the button*

Kirk: WE HAVE A WINNER!

Rebel: *high fives Metabad* Super Awesome…

Metabad: …Fighting force!

Kirk: Onto the next game!

Kirk: In this game, you’ll have to climb up high.

Olmec: Yes. Maverick Hunters had to scale entire walls. The first team to reach the top wins.

Metabad: I got this one.

Serges: This one is mine! I can fly.

Kirk: GO!

Serges: *slowly slowly slowly floats up* Damn damn damn! I am going to slow!

Metabad: *looks at Serges* Ha! *jumps to the top of the wall* Got it!

Kirk: WE HAVE A WINNER!

Serges: DAMN IT, DAMN IT, DAMN IT!

Kirk: Onto the final Temple Game!

Kirk: Now, this one is worth a whole pendant. Tell them what we gotta do Olmec!

Olmec: Yes. This will be a test of your intelligance. There are 5 boxes. One has a picture of Zero, the others dont. Your team has to grab the right one, and place it on that ledge up there. *indicates a high ledge, with pegholes to climb* First time to do it right, wins.

Rebel: We got this in the bag.

Metabad: Team work time. You get the box, and throw it to me,I’ll jump it up.

Rebel: Right. SAFF!

Metabad: SAFF!

Serges: Just… let me do this one and dont’ mess anything up!

Violen: Fine… *sits down*

Kirk: GO!

Serges: *grabs the box and runs towards the wall and starts to climb*

Rebel: Got it! Catch! throws the box to Metabad*

Metabad: *catches the box, and jumps. He places the box just before Serges does, winning the game*

Kirk: WE HAVE OUR WINNER! AND OUR ENTRANTS TO THE TEMPLE GAMES! THE BLUE BARACUDAS!

Rebel: YES!

Metabad: OH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!

Kirk: Okay Olmec, tell them the route to take!

Olmec: First, you will start in the Room of the Three Gargoyles. Next, they will procede to The Pit of Despair. After that, The Observatory is next. Following that, The Heart room. The next step in your path will be The Treasure room. The very next one will be The Shrine of the Silver Monkey–

Rebel: Man I hate that thing!

Olmec: –After that, is The Pirates cove, where you will find the legendary Zero’s Hair. Avoid the Temple guards, get through the traps, grab the hair, and return to this spot to win a faboulus prize. Which one of you will go first?

Rebel: You’re faster.

Metabad: Yeah. I will!

Olmec: Good, now are you ready?

Metabad: Ready to Rawk! *rawks*

Olmec: Good. You have three minutes.

Kirk: Lower the gate!

Olmec: *does so* The gate is lowered.

Kirk: On your mark…get set….GO!

Metabad: Yeah! *dashes into the temple* Okay, I have to pick the right one. *tries one and it doesn’t work. * Damn! *tries the other* Damn it! *tries the last one**the door opens* Yeah! *dashes into the next room, and jumps acrost the pit to the door* That was easy!

Kirk: Okay, Metabad is in the Observatory now. He has to turn the sun dial.

Metabad: *spins the dials so much they break, and the door opens* YEAH! *runs off*

Kirk: Ooh, now he’s in the Heart Room. Here he has to…press a button.

Rebel: That’s it?

Kirk: We ran out of ideas.

Rebel: I think you mean drugs.

Kirk: Thats what I said.

Metabad: *stesp into the room, and is grabbed by a temple guard* HOLY SHIT WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

Temple Guard: *grabs the pendant around his neck and runs off*

Kirk: Oh, that was a temple guard, if he runs into another, he is outta luck and you gotta go in, Rebel.

Metabad: *presses the button and hurries off* Half way there!

Kirk: Now he’s in the treasure room! Now he has to climb down the treasure chest.

Rebel: it’s empty?

Kirk: Yes.

Rebel: Damn!

Metabad: *climbs down and enters the next room* Okay.

Kirk: Now he’s in The Shrine of the Silver Monkey! Here he has to put the monkey together.

Rebel: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONKEY!

Metabad: *quickly puts the monkey together, but upside down* Damn it! *does it right and door opens* YES! *dashes in*

Kirk: Now your in the pirates cove! FIND THE HAIR! FIND IT!

Metabad: WHERE IS IT?! *sees it! * YES! *dashes over but trips* Damn it! *gets up, grabs it, and heads out*

Kirk: You’ve got the hair! Now get out of there. The traps are disabled and the guards are gone!

Metabad: *dashes out with not much time left*

Kirk: 15 seconds!

Metabad: Noooooo!

Kirk: 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… *Metabad lands at his feet* YOU DID IT! YOU WON! YOU GOT THE HAIR AND YOU GOT OUT!

Rebel: METABAD! YEAH! *high-fives him*

Kirk: Olmec, tell them what they won!

Olmec: You have won a trip to Space Camp!

Rebel: Oh, that’s cool.

Olmec: You also won Sketchers Light up Shoes.

Metabad: I can wear those, thats okay.

Olmec: And your grandprize… A LIFE TIME SUPPLY OF PEPSI!

Rebel: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *goes dashing towards the talking wall, held back by Metabad*

Kirk: Haha! Thanks for watching. Tune in tomorrow for a new episode of Legends of the Hidden Temple!

Rebel: KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

The End

Join Us.

September 13, 2014

This is one of the “Specials” that appeared on the site.  Those were usually stories that either were written in a different format, had a story that didn’t focus on the main group, or was  more on the creative side.

*Written by Shadowstrike*

 

*It is day in a warehouse outside the city*

Serges: Damnation! Why can’t we–

Agile and Violen: Beat those C:IA fools.

Serges: How did you know what I was going to say?

Agile: We have heard that same statement at least 10 times today.

Violen: Can’t we just sit around the TV and not fight?

Serges: Yeah, that will work–*turns around*–WHERE IS THE DAMN TV?!

Rebel: *holding the TV* Haha! YOINK! *runs out*

Violen: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Darth Vader: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Luke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Violen: NOOOOOOOOOOOO–Oh wait, Lucy is on!

Agile: Rebel stole the TV, remember? It was 30 seconds ago!

Violen: Oh, right. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Serges: Agile, I think it is time we did something to change our future. It is time we increased our numbers!

Agile: You don’t mean….

Serges: Yes! I mean a Membership Drive! The X-Hunter’s Reputation will no longer be shamed by those damned Code: Island Attackers!

*A week later and every TV has had the same ad on it*

Serges: *wearing large glasses* So you say you got to know why the world goes round

Violen: *wearing an afro* And you can’t find the truth in the things you’ve found

Agile: *wearing a beret and a fake mustache* And you’re scared shitless ’cause evil abounds

X-Hunters: COME JOIN US!

*As they say the words, they appear on the screen with a location and a date underneath it*

*A few weeks later*

Agile: *sitting in a warehouse filled with people* Look at this turn out!

Violen: All these people want to join us?

Guy In Crowd: Wait, you mean this isn’t the place to touch Zero’s booblight?

Serges: No.

Crowd: WE ARE LEAVING!

Agile: Wait! No!

Guy In Crowd: Why shouldn’t we?

Agile: Why? This is why… CUE THE LIGHTS!

Violen: *the lights dim, as he starts to sing * Well I heard you were looking for a place to fit in

Serges: *singing along* Full of adherent people with the same objective

Agile: A family to cling to and call brethren

X-Hunters: Come join us!

Guy in Crowd: Hey… these guys know what they are talking about…

X-Hunters: *singing more * All we want to do is change your mind
All you need to do is close your eyes!
*as they finish they strike a pose*
Come join us!
Come join us!
Come join us!

Serges: So, gonna stay?

Crowd: Hmm… NO! *All but a few leave*

Agile: Aw… they all left.

???: Um… not all of them sir.

Violen: Who said that!?

???: I did sir. You may call me GBD.

Agile: What is your real name?

GBD: My name is… um… I don’t really remember. Everyone has been calling me GBD for years that I forgot my real name.

Serges: What is your training?

GBD: I served with Megaman X for a few years, until I was shot down in duty.

Agile: Why do you want to join us, then?

GBD: Because people keep thinking that all I am good for it blowing up in less than ten seconds! Well, I want to prove them wrong! I’ll prove them ALL wrong!

Serges: I see nothing wrong here. Any other questions?

Violen: *raises hand* Do you like Lucy?

GBD: Wasn’t she some stupid human that died hundreds of years ago?

Violen: GRARGH LUCY IS NOT STUPID!! *smashes GBD to pieces*

Serges: Damnit! What was that for?

Violen: He said Lucy was stupid…

Agile: HE WAS GOING TO JOIN US!

Violen: BUT LUCY!! *cries*

Rebel: You guys REALLY are messed up.

Agile: AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

Rebel: Well, I came here originally to make fun of Zero, but now that I see it really is you guys in this place, I had a better idea.

Agile: And that was?

Rebel: I’m going to sit here *points to a chair* and watch you guys recruit.

Serges: *seething with anger* And why would you do that?

Rebel: Because I know you won’t get anyone else to join.

Serges: But what about them? *points to the rest of the people here*

Rebel: I doubt they will be here much longer.

Serges: Oh, you think that?

Rebel: Yes.

Agile: Well, watch this people… listen up!

Serges: *starts to sing* Don’t you see the trouble that most people are in?

Violen: *pointing at Rebel* And that they just want you for their own advantage?

Agile: But I swear to you we’re different from all of them

X-Hunters: Come join us!

Rebel: Bravo. *claps just once* Just bravo.

Metabad: That was rawkin.

Rebel: Metabad, what are you doing here?

Metabad: I go with the flow, and the flow told me to rawk here.

Serges: Thanks. Want to join up?

Metabad: No. That would not be rawksome.

Agile: Then… GET OUT!

Metabad: Okay, you’re not rawkin anymore! I’m out of here!

Violen: Uh-oh!

Serges: Is there anyone here that isn’t an Attacker?

Reploid A: Um… I’m not an Attacker. But, why should I join you guys? All you’ve done is sing to me.

Agile: This is why!

Violen: *starts to sing* I can tell you are lookin’ for a way to live

Reploid A: More singing…

Agile: Where truth is determined by consensus

Serges: Full of codified arbitrary directives

X-Hunters: Come join us!
All we want to have is your small mind,
turn it into one of our own kind!

Reploid A: O… kay…

Rebel: You guys are pathetic.

Serges: Shut up you!

Violen: So, what do you say, want to join?

Reploid A: Are… are you guys a band or something?

Agile: No. We’re bounty hunters.

Reploid A: Oh. Are you any good?

Rebel: They are the worst.

Serges: IGNORE HIM! We are the best of the best!

Reploid A: Then why do you want more people?

Agile: We want new blood.

Violen: Why do we want blood? Shouldn’t blood stay in the person?

Reploid A: Well… I’ll wait a bit and see.

Serges: Why wait?

Agile: You see, we are offering friendship!

Violen: *singing* You can go through life adrift and alone

Agile: Desperate, desolate, on your own

Serges: But we’re lookin’ for a few more stalwart clones

X-Hunters and Rebel: Come join us!
Come join us!
Come join us!

Reploid A: *to Rebel* Why did you just break into song?

Rebel: It’s kinda fun.

Reploid B: I… I think I’m going to join!

Serges: YES!

Violen: BABALOU!

Agile: EXCELLENT!

Reploid C: I’m out of here. You guys are too weird. *goes to leave*

Violen: NOOOOO! *throws his mace at the Reploid, making it go boom* …Oops.

Reploid A: …Well that complicates this.

Rebel: *cracking open a coca-cola* Red Rum!

Violen: Can I have one?

Rebel: No.

Violen: I hate you.

Rebel: The world hates you.

Agile: Yeah, well… *singing* We’ve got spite and dedication as a vehement brew!

Violen: The world hates us, well we hate them too!

Serges: But you’re exempted of course if you

X-Hunters and Reploid B: Come join us!
Agile: Independent, self-contented, revolutionary!

Violen: Intellectual, brave, strong and scholarly!

Serges: If you’re not one of them you’re us already!

X-Hunters, Reploid B, and Rebel: So come join us!
Come join us!
Come join us!
Come join us!
COME JOIN US!

Violen: *holding his mace* So… what do you say?

Reploid A: Um… I… um…

Serges: *aiming a rifle* Yes or no?

Agile: *sword in hand* It’s a really simple question.

Reploid B: *with a lead pipe* You know you want to.

Rebel: Just answer. *pulls out a Magnet Mine*

Reploid A: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH–

*The scene shifts*

Reploid A: Huh? What? Where am I?

Lifesaver: Your upgrade is done! That mp3 player addition correctly adjusted to your system!

Reploid A: Then… all that was a dream?

Lifesaver: Nothing more.

Reploid A: None of it happened?

Lifesaver: Not a single part.

Reploid A: Wow. That is… anti-climactic.

Lifesaver: I know. Imagine if you were reading this.

Reploid A: Yeah, sucks to be them.

The End

Pancakes

September 9, 2014

This is one of the “Specials” that appeared on the site.  Those were usually stories that either were written in a different format, had a story that didn’t focus on the main group, or was  more on the creative side.

*Written by Void Darkheart*

*The X-Hunters Base, which is, amazingly, an actual warehouse in the middle of Oregon and not a dumpster… or a dumpster warehouse*

Violen: *watching a small portable TV showing nothing but static* Oh Lucy… the problems you get yourself into never cease to amuse me.

Agile: I have to say, after getting that TV for him, he’s become a lot more docile.

Serges: Well, it at least makes it easier on me to try and come up with some new invention so that we can get out of this dump and into an actual base.

*Serges and Agile walk away from Violen, heading down towards another end of the warehouse.*

Agile: Speaking of which, are you sure this new invention you’re making will work? It seems kind of… I don’t know… shabby.

Serges: Well I don’t have any kind of real tools or parts to use. All I’ve got is junk!

Agile: And yet the moth still seems to make better things…

Serges: The moth is also a freak of nature that doesn’t understand why junk is called JUNK!

*Agile sighed and shook his head a bit at Serges’ words before looking over at what could almost be described as a rifle had it not looked like it was patched together by tons of junk*

Agile: So this… weapon… what is it supposed to do again?

Serges: It re-programs the target into a gibbering fool of a reploid.

Agile: And if the target is already a gibbering fool of a reploid?

Serges: Then it just makes them even more so! I swear, sometimes my own genius seems to be a curse…

*Agile walked over to the rifle and took it in his hands, looking it over a bit while Serges continued to mutter to himself.*

Agile: Could this be a sword? I mean, guns and rifles aren’t nearly as personal as I would like them to be.

Serges: Hm? What do you mean? And be careful with that thing.

Agile: Please, like I would manhandle a piece of junk.

*As Agile said that, he tried to spin the rifle around in his hands, only to drop it onto the ground, where it discharged a shot off away from Serges and Agile.*

Serges: *quickly picking the rifle up* Hey! I told you to be careful!

Agile: Why? It’s a defective piece of junk if a small shock like that causes it to fire. Besides, we didn’t get hit by the shot as it was.

Violen: PANCAKES!

*The sudden cry for the flatbread prepared from a sweet batter cooked on a hot griddle or in a frying pan from their comrade caused Agile and Serges to look over at the big, lumbering red reploid. They stood their ground as he lumbered his way over to them, no trace of any kind of intelligence in his eyes.*

Violen: *grabbing Agile and Serges in his hands* PANCAKES!

Agile: Uh… Violen… you’re squeezing a bit tightly there… could you please…

Violen: PAAAAANNNNNCAAAAAAAAAAAKESSSSSSSSSS!

Serges: I’m going to go out on a hunch here and say he wants pancakes.

Agile: Maybe it was caused by your rifle that he just stomped on.

Serges: So now we have a rampaging beast craving…

Violen: PANCAKES!

*With that cry, Violen went and punched his way out of the warehouse, still holding Serges and Agile in his hands as he did so.*

Violen: Pancakes, boom, pancakes, mmmm, pancakes…

*Meanwhile, not more than ten feet away from the warehouse was an IHOP or an International House Of Pancakes for those that don’t know. A respectful distance away from the IHOP was the Whale King, parked and refueling. Inside the IHOP, though, were the members of the Island Attackers, sitting around a table and waiting for their food to show.*

Rebel: Why are we here again?

Void: Because three-eighths of the team still need something other than any old energy to continue living and you were too cheap to get a proper food processor. That, and pancakes are good.

Majin: Pancakes are made of people! PEOPLE!

Shadowstrike: No, that’s Pepsi you’re thinking of Majin.

Violen: PANCAKES!

Sean: That guy must like his pancakes.

Outlaw: I don’t see why they don’t serve the kind of pancakes my mom used to make.

Dark Knight: Because your mother was a toaster and they don’t serve rats.

Violen: PANCAKES!

Outlaw: Well that’s discrimination! What about Garbage Rat? What if he wanted to eat here?

Void: Then I guess he’d just have to eat else where. Nothing we can do about it.

Rebel: Speaking of eating, where’s our food?

Violen: PAAAAANNNNNCAAAAAAAAAAAKESSSSSSSSSS!

Metabad: You know that guy sounds like he really wants his pancakes.

Sean: Maybe someone should make sure he has some.

Rebel: His voice sound familiar though…

*It was then when the warehouse suddenly had a large hole punched into it, causing much noise and rubble.*

Metabad: That doesn’t sound like it rawked at all.

Void: Not our problem. We’re just going to eat our food when we get it, and leave.

Violen: PANCAKES!

Rebel: Wait a minute… that sounds like…

*Just as Rebel realized who was yelling, Agile and Serges go crashing into the table that the Island Attackers were sitting at, through the wall.*

Outlaw: I’d say it is our problem since these two are our villains.

Violen: *busting through what was left of the wall* PANCAKES!

Rebel: Sean, you, Dark Knight, and Outlaw go handle big red! We’ll deal with the other two here!

*The three quickly went off to go hold Violen off while Rebel bent down and picked Agile up by his throat.*

Rebel: Now tell us, what are your plans and why is Violen screaming…

Violen: PANCAKES FOR THE HORDE!

Agile: *hacks and coughs a bit* This isn’t part of any plan you wretched insect. Violen’s just insane!

Serges: *picking himself up a bit, dusting himself off at the same time* We don’t know what’s going on with Violen. One moment he’s off in Lucy Land, and the next, he’s crying out for pancakes like it was blood.

*Sean then flies by and crashes into the ground, slowly picking himself up.*

Sean: Okay… I don’t think we can hold off Violen for long on our own Rebel…

Violen: THERE IS NO VIOLEN! ONLY PANCAKES!

Metabad: Well if he wants to rawk, lets rawk.

*Metabad quickly throws of a few Speed Burners at Violen while Sean joins in with some Crystal Hunter shots. Outlaw and Dark Knight grapple with Violen, trying to hold him steady as the attacks come, struggling against his strength.*

Violen: *as the attacks strike his form, doing little damage* SYRUP FOR THE SYRUP GOD! BUTTER FOR THE BUTTER THRONE!

Shadowstrike: He’s indestructible! What have you guys done?!

Serges: We haven’t done anything to him! We certainly didn’t hit him with any kind of ray!

Rebel: Well Dr. Void, what do you suggest?

Void: Simple. We run for the ship, pray that he doesn’t follow, and find ourselves new teammates.

Majin: Why don’t we just give him pancakes like he asks for?

Rebel: I don’t know… I like Void’s plan better…

Outlaw: This is madness!

Violen: MADNESS?! THIS… IS… PANCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!

*Violen then manages throw Outlaw off of him and through a wall, grabbing Dark Knight and hurling him at Rebel. Rebel grabs Void and quickly places the moth in front of him, Dark Knight slamming into Void instead of Rebel.*

Agile: I must say, if you are going to be looking for new members, may I inquire as if we could join you?

Rebel: Nah. First thing we do is run a credit check, and I already know you two have lousy credit. Anyway, I guess we try Majin’s plan, since we can’t really get by that walking behemoth of a nut.

Sean: Okay, give me and Void some time and we can build a pancake launcher designed to stuff Violen full of pancakes.

Serges: Or you could just let him rampage around enough until he gets to where they have their pancakes stored.

*The group looks over as Violen busts through some more walls towards IHOP’s pancake storage unit, tearing it open and tearing into all of the pancakes there*

Majin: Oh the pancake-ity!

Metabad: Rawkin! We won!

Rebel: Have you ever seen a more disgusting display in your life?

Void: Remember when we used to have a base connected to the sewers?

Rebel: Good point…

*It doesn’t take Violen long before he finishes eating the pancakes and then lets out a very loud, earth shaking burp. So loud and forceful that is quickly caused the building to collapse on the group inside.*

*A few hours later, after digging themselves out of the ruined IHOP and getting back to the Whale King…*

Rebel: Okay… next time someone asks if we can stop at a restaurant like that, I’m going to just say no, and have us speed by it.

Void: Sean, we’re going to go see what we can do about making that food processor something that can actually make food.

Sean: At least we don’t have to deal with Violen’s aftermath.

Metabad: That would so not rawk at all. I mean, really… ugh…

*In the local jail…*

Violen: Ooooo… I don’t feel so good guys… I feel like I’m going to hurl syrup from every part of my body…

Serges: What did we learn today Agile?

Agile: Never trust the Island Attackers to clear your name.

Serges: And…?

Agile: *sighs* Never to touch any of your inventions again.

Serges: Now come on. You need to help me bust out of here before Violen decides to hurl again.

The End

Negated

September 6, 2014

This is one of the “Specials” that appeared on the site.  Those were usually stories that either were written in a different format, had a story that didn’t focus on the main group, or was a more on the creative side.

This particular entry ended up becoming cannon so consider this a side story to where we are in the current story line.

 

*Written by Sean*

 

*At the X-Hunters secret base, currently a cardboard box they found on the street*

Agile: We need a plan to finally defeat those troublesome Code Island Attackers, our reputation has hit an all time low. Ever since X defeated us, we’ve fallen to lower and lower levels of misery.

Serges: Damn X, I remember working as a high level maverick. I had my own lab, much better than the dump that is that pesky Morph Moth’s. With proper funding I was capable of building real weapons. I remember with nothing but my genius and a few good parts that I created that wondrous duplicate of Zero after X had managed to take the three parts of Zero from us. It would have trounced X had Zero not shown up and destroyed my beautiful creation.

Violen: Uh, didn’t we succeed in keeping the parts from X and then X destroyed our Zero?

Serges: Ugh, ever since we’ve lost we have been down right pathetic! Agile, you’ve lost you’re skill!

Agile: I am still the best warrior; I’ve just had a few bad fights!

Serges: Violen, you’ve lost what little intelligence you’ve had! Last week we were arguing over whether it was Dr. Doppler or Zero who helped X defeat Sigma after the Doppler crisis!

Violen: But, I remember it happening that way!

Serges: And I lost the budget necessary for my intelligence to work!

Agile: Don’t you mean you lost you’re intelligence?

Serges: Silence! We all need to break this losing streak!

Agile: Yes, after this no more failures!

Hobo: Hey, what are you doing in my house?

Agile: This is now our base of operations!

Violen: You think you can take it back from us?

*Five minutes later at a local tavern*

Serges: *sighs* I can’t believe he took all three of us.

Agile: He was rather quick for a bearded guy who smelled of booze in old clothing.

Serges: Along with strong and smart, I can’t believe how he took down Violen.

Violen: *near tears* I don’t want to talk about it…

Serges: *takes a sip* We’ve hit rock bottom, haven’t we?

Agile: Yep. *empties his glass*

*Pause*

Violen: Why don’t I get a kids cup?

Agile: You’d look retarded.

Violen: But I want one…

Serges: You’re a bulky reploid that is known for muscle and we’ve just been talking about out rep. We can’t have the ‘tough guy’ of our group drinking from a cup covered with colorful cartoons that has a lid and straw!

Violen: *a bit desperate* What if I take the lid off?

Serges: *slams head to the table top* There isn’t enough alcohol in the world….

Bartender: How are you guys going to pay for these drinks?

Agile: You’re asking the X-Hunters to pay?

Serges: *lifting head up* We’re feared villains!

Bartender: You just got beaten up by a hobo, you lose any right to be called a feared villain.

Violen: He was a very scary hobo. *shudders*

Serges: It was a fluke!

Agile: You won’t stand a chance.

Bartender: You’re forgetting something. *snaps fingers*

Giant Mech: You called, sir?

Agile: That thing is huge!

Violen: Scary… *gets up and starts backing away*

Serges: I want one…

Bartender: I have to deal with drunk, overly powered reploids on a regular basis. This bar has stronger walls than most military bunkers and I have workers who can swat a god away. Believe me, you are the scrawniest guys to question paying their bill in a long time.

Agile: *gulp*

Serges: Well now that I think of it, our wallets really are a bit too heavy at the moment.

Agile: Really a pain, they would slow us down during are next evil plot. We don’t want to be weighed down.

X-Hunters: *Hand over the little they had and dash out*

*A minute later, the random hobo walks in and sits down. He demands a drink.*

Bartender: And how will you be paying?

Hobo: Pay?

Bartender: *snaps fingers* Don’t expect my employees and myself to be as weak as those three freaks.

Giant Mech: Can I actually blow someone up this time?

Hobo: *Raises a hand and a wave of energy travels outward towards the mech*

Giant Mech: *Whole body starting to vibrate* I’m losing control of my body, everything is shaking! My frame is starting to fall apart! *collapses into a pile of a scrap metal*

Bartender: *staring at former employee* Uh…. Would you be interested in a job?

*Back to the X-Hunters*

Serges: *sighs* Things used to be so much better. I remember when the Mavericks needed us and the Hunters feared us.

Agile: Sigma never even bothers calling us anymore. *Turns to Violen and glares* But then he started to dislike us rather early on.

Violen: *cowers and starts to cry* I didn’t think I’d pop his doggy’s head off with my hug! It was so cute, and I killed it…

Serges: Whatever, he never got to realize it wasn’t really his dog. I just picked one up at the local pound. I didn’t want to waste resources on rebuilding a pet when I could just buy a new one.

Agile: We just had to pay for our drinks and we got beaten up by a hobo! We were beaten twice today and by normal people, not even the Code: Island Attackers!

Serges: Not like the old days, we were feared and respected back then. I was such an amazing scientist. Void? He would have looked like a dimwit compared to me back then. I created a copy of Zero, when you two lost your Zero parts to X and when I lost mine because of a fluke.

Violen: But I remember X failing to recollect the Zero parts!

Agile: We all know what happened, Serges created the Zero copy with the black armor that got torn to pieces by the real Zero before it could smash X… wait, could you create another fake Zero?

Serges: Remake my fake Zero?

Agile: Yes, I just asked that.

Serges: Possibly, but I would need supplies. The Hunters would probably be the only ones with them.

Agile: And?

Serges: Shouldn’t they have amazing security for those areas?

Agile: Their best warrior is an ancient machine that they dug up from a hole that we are all based off of. Despite their enormous budget, their best weapons are the one X steals from us or the ones X finds lying around. Also during any major battle or war, guess who actually does anything significant? X and Zero are the only guys whoever defeat someone important along with the guys who on their own demolish more than half of the entire opposing army. Everyone else basically sits around and gets killed or rescued by X or Zero if they decide to fight.

Serges: How do you know this?

Agile: Eh, they pass out a few brochures during local parades.

Violen: I like the candy they hand out!

Serges: So you think we can sneak in?

Agile: I snuck in last week to steal twenty bucks and a pack of beer, trust me at least at this outpost they won’t care.

*Later that night*

Agile: Told you it was easy.

Serges: I can’t believe that the guards aren’t paying any attention at all.

Violen: Can I go watch tv with them?

Serges: No!

Violen: But “I love Lucy!” is on…

Agile: What is wrong with him?

Serges: A lot, but we don’t have time to talk about his many inadequacies. The guards are stupid, but the janitor has to clean this lab eventually.

Agile: Pfft, even Violen could handle a weak janitor.

Serges: With out track record as of late?

Agile: Well, he probably isn’t paid well. Maybe an IOU for five bucks can convince him to leave.

Serges: An IOU for five dollars?

Agile: We gave that bartender all our money, remember?

Serges: Right, now leave me alone so I can work.

*An hour later*

Violen: Are you done yet?

Serges: Not yet!

*An hour later*

Violen: Are you done yet?

Serges: Not yet!!

*An hour later*

Violen: Are you done yet?

Serges: Not yet!!!

*An hour later*

Violen: Are you done yet?

Serges: Not yet!!!!

*An hour later*

Serges: Yes! I finally finished!

Agile: You finished the Zero copy?

Serges: Huh?

Agile: The fake Zero we came here to make!

Serges: Oh, that. I finished that four and a half hours ago. I’ve been trying to beat the high score on this computer game.

Agile: How did you make something so fast?

Serges: They had plenty of spare parts and their system is pretty easy to use. When I was stumped on what to do I just went to Wikipedia or did a Google search.

Agile: You created a Maverick copy of Zero with what was lying around and an online encyclopedia?

Serges: No, I already said I used Google as well. A few things I found using Google.

Agile: Whatever, just show me the reploid.

*Serges leads Agile and Violen to a table and lifts up a sheet*

Agile: …Are you a pervert?

Serges: What?!

Agile: This reploid is a girl!

Serges: And?

Agile: Zero is a guy!

Serges: He looks like a girl and I could only find girl parts.

Agile: This room is full of reploid parts; they can’t all be for girls!

Serges: You don’t know that for sure and is there any real problem?

Agile: Changing the gender of our fake is stupid!

Violen: I think she is pretty…

Agile: *glares at Violen* Whatever! Can this copy do anything?

Serges: Of course! I did my best to give our copy the same abilities as Zero along with as much weaponry that I could possibly add. Her standard weapons are a buster and saber equal in power to Zero’s buster and saber, but that isn’t all I gave her. I added the best weapon copying system I could find along with some stealth equipment and anti-gravity boosters instead of just the standard dashing equipment. I believe I added a few elemental attacks that I found lying around along with a bunch of junk that I doubt anyone knew the purpose for. Also as an added bonus, this copy is a virus carrier. I gave her a unique virus based off the Maverick virus that has been created using the research of the Maverick Hunters themselves. Their search for a cure will cause a greater epidemic!

Agile: You have outdone yourself, I guess. You created your own virus?

Serges: Umm… Well most of the work on it had already been done and I googled to find the remaining bits and pieces for it. I’m not exactly sure about what most of the code means. I might be able to decipher a few bits and pieces of it if you want.

Agile: How much of the design for this reploid was yours and how much of it did you copy?

Serges: Ninety-nine percent.

Agile: Yours?

Serges: Copied.

Agile: Whatever. Just activate it.

Violen: Don’t you mean her?

Agile: Just activate the stupid reploid!

*Serges flips a few switches and the lights flash*

Fake Zero: Ugh… *Sits up*

Serges: It’s alive!

Fake Zero: I’m alive for less than a minute and I already have people yelling at me… *Rubs head and eyes while starting to yawn.*

Agile: Well, I guess it does work.

Fake Zero: I do have a gender, and I hope you guys have a name for me…

Agile: Yes, you’re Fake Zero.

Fake Zero: Fake Zero?

Serges: Yes, you are our female and maverick copy of the famous Maverick Hunter, Zero.

Fake Zero: Isn’t there a better name you could have given me?

Serges: Null?

Fake Zero: No.

Agile: False?

Fake Zero: Definitely not.

Serges: Decimal?

Fake Zero: No.

Agile: Copyrka?

Fake Zero: No way.

Serges: Replica?

Fake Zero: Uh, no.

Agile: One?

Fake Zero: No way in hell.

Violen: How about Nega?

Fake Zero: Nega?

Violen: Short for negative, but you probably hate it…

Fake Zero: Wait one second; I haven’t said anything yet… Nega… That just might work.

Janitor: *walks in* What are you guys doing here? *looks around* Who made this huge mess?! *raises broom threateningly*

Serges: RUN!

Nega: Why? *raises buster and blasts the janitor to pieces*

*A guard rushes in hearing the noise*

Guard: What’s going on in here?

Agile: That is why!

Nega: Him? He’s no big deal. *dashes over and slashes the guard in half at the waist*

*An alarm is raised and a bunch of guards dash in*

Serges: Now a big deal?

Nega: Just let me convince a few to attack their allies while we exit if you guys are so worried. *Infects a few guards and then uses her buster and beam saber to clear a path*

X-Hunters: *Just stare*

Nega: You guys coming?

Serges: Yeah, it has just been so long since we’ve actually succeeded…

*Outside*

Agile: I can’t believe she could take on so many reploids…

Serges: I can’t believe Nega is now securing us a new base. An actual base, not a dumpster!

Violen: Do you think someone will notice?

Serges: *smacks head* We’re now too big! They’ll be sure to send in X or the real Zero since we destroyed Maverick Hunter property!

*The next day*

Zero: I never thought I’d see you three again, but prepare to go back to the grave! *takes out beam saber*

Agile: *gulps* Nega, attack!

Nega: I’m not a Pokemon, but fine. *takes out beam saber*

*Two hours later*

Agile: So what is the score now?

Serges: Zero has died five times so far and Nega has bit the dust six times thus far. I say in a little bit we play dead and hope Zero goes away.

Violen: *pauses to think* If Zero and Nega started dating, would Zero be a narcissist?

Serges: *pauses for a second completely thrown off guard* What is wrong with you?

Violen: Well, yesterday you guys said a lot.

Nega: Are you guys going to help at all? *blocks an attack from Zero*

Agile: I think you’re doing fine on your own.

Nega: I died six times! *slashes at Zero*

Agile: Yes, and Zero has only died five times so far. You need to catch up.

*The next day*

Nega: Serges, I highly doubt a bikini is a required dress for maintenance.

*The next day*

Nega: Agile, how can you be the better warrior when you don’t fight?

*The next day*

Nega: I am not reading you a story, Violen.

*Later*

Nega: Okay, I just need to adjust. Things have to get better. They aren’t going to keep making me do all the chores and fight all our battles while being either annoying or creepy as I work, are they? I know Serges is a creepy old man, Agile is a sexist and egotist, and Violen has the brain of a five year old and intelligence of a rock, but they must have some good qualities I haven’t noticed.

*A week later*

Nega: Get away from me, pervert! There is no way anyone sane would ever give you a degree!

Serges: *cowers*

*The next day*

Nega: Shut up, wimp! Maybe you can use your bragging as a weapon next battle, it is definitely more effective than your saber!

Agile: *cowers*

*The next day*

Nega: Go away, crybaby!

Violen: *starts bawling*

Nega: But I haven’t even gotten to the real insulting! You’re a warrior, can’t you take any name calling?

Violen: *while still crying shakes head*

Nega: Why must you make being mean like slaughtering big eyed puppies?

*The next day*

Nega: Okay, everyone out! I’ve had it!

X-Hunters: But this is our base…

Nega: Look, you guys are at best moochers. At worst, I’m not sure how to describe you! You’re lucky that I’m doing this the nice way; the not nice way involves severed heads!

Serges: But what are you going to do without us?

Nega: What am I going to do without you guys? I’m going to excel! I am an amazing warrior and have a virus that makes foes my loyal minions; I don’t know why I ever thought I might need you!

Agile: *gulps* Are you going to make us your slaves now?

Nega: No, I want competent minions! You guys would turn any army I create into a mess! Now get out before I start kicking you guys out the not nice way!

*The X-Hunters quickly run out the door and Nega slams it behind them*

Agile: Well it looks like we need to start our self-improvement plan over…

Violen: Back to the drawing board?

Serges: No, idiot. Back to the bar.

The End

Bohemian Rhapsody C:IA Style

September 1, 2014

*Written by Rebel4000*

This is one of the “Specials” that appeared on the site.  Those were usually stories that either were written in a different format, had a story that didn’t focus on the main group, or was a more on the creative side.

 

*It was late at night at the Code: Island Attackers base… but some people just couldn’t sleep.*

Majin: *drunk* BEER!

Rebel: *high off of caffeine* HEY MAJIN HIT ME WITH ANOTHER!!

Majin: BEER!

Rebel: CAN I HEAR?! WELL OF COURSE I CAN THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!

Majin: BEER!

*After another hour consuming alchohol and Coke, the two members went to bed. Majin, who drank the most as usual, wasn’t feeling too well, however.*

Majin: errrr i DoN’t feeeeeeeeeeel 2 well… *passes out*

*The next day…*

Majin: Urrgh, my head hurts. I think I drank a little too–*turns a sickly green*–Urp!! *runs to the bathroom*

*After “relieving” himself, Majin heads to the kitchen to find some more beer.*

Majin: Yup, nothing like some beer to get a man over a hangover! *stops, blinks, rubs his eyes, and blinks again* Huh?

Agile: Hey Majin.

Majin: Agile? What are you doing here?!

Serges: *reading the comics* Are you drunk again? We live here. We are a team, after all–ooh, Garfield. *starts laughing maniacally*

Majin: Wha…?

Agile: Too true… *turns his head* Hey, Violen! Are you done with breakfast yet?!

Violen: *in a really girly voice* Yessir Mr. Agile, sir! *giggles uncontrollably*

Serges: C’mon, Majin. Let’s sit down and eat.

Majin: …Right… *sits down and looks at the food* What the heck is this?

Violen: Soy sauce with peas.

Majin: …Then why is it moving?

Violen: Oh, no!

*Violen pulls out his medicine ball and proceeds to beat the food to death, until it retialiates by eating him whole and then catches itself on fire.*

Agile: FIRE!!

Serges: FIRE!!

*Agile grabs Serges and uses his body to put the fire out.*

Agile: Whew…

Serges: Man, that was some quick thinking, Agile! I wish I was as smart as you.

Majin: …Come again?

Agile: Aw, stop it, Serges. Just because I have a PhD in nuclear technical rocketry fission doesn’t mean I’m that smart.

*Majin can only stare in wonder as he watches the two talk. He is amazed that Agile is a brainiac and that Serges is an idiot.*

Majin: Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide–
No escape from reality…

Agile and Serges: Open your eyes…
Look up to the skies and see!

Majin: I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy.
Because I’m easy come, easy go,
A little high, little low…
Anyway the wind blows, doesn’t really matter to me…
To me…

Rebel: *smacks Majin* Majin, shut up.

Majin: *blinks* Hu-what?

Void: Shh! We are trying to remain hidden.

Dark Knight: So quit singing!

Rebel, Void, Outlaw, Shadowstrike, Metabad, Sean: Shhh!!

*Everyone–all of the members of the Island Attackers–stand there for roughly 27 hours, waiting.*

Majin: So, um… what are we doing again?

Rebel: *smacks self* Would someone get this guy a beer?

Shadowstrike: I’ll do it!

Void: EVERYONE SHUT UP GOD WE ARE ALL GOING TO BLOW IT AND IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT SHADOWSTRIKE AND IF IT IS I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!!

*Everyone stares at Void in wonder.*

Outlaw: I smell puppies.

Void: ARRGH THAT’S IT SHADOWSTRIKE!!

Shadowstrike: No!! *kills Void*

Rebel: *gasps*

Outlaw: *gasps*

Sean: *gasps*

Dark Knight: *gasps*

Metabad: *gasps*

Majin: *gasps even louder than everyone else* What did you do?!

Sean: *points* Oh my God! He killed Void!

Metabad: You bastard!

Shadowstrike: B-but… he was gonna kill me first! You guys gotta believe me.

Outlaw: We must do something.

Dark Knight: Yes, before we are next.

Rebel: But what?

Sean: *jumps on Void’s corpse* I suggest we peel off his skin using a potatoe peeler and then feed it to a group of starving fangirls who scream “CloudxSephiroth” which will lead the fulfillment of a dark and ominous proficy where we all shall gain the amazing ability of boiling carrots.

*Everyone stares. Especially Majin.*

Rebel: That idea… is just crazy enough to work! Did everyone bring their potatoe peelers?

Rebel, Outlaw, Metabad, Sean: *lifts their arms up, showing potatoe peelers*

Majin: *notices he has one too* Uh…

Shadowstrike: W-wait! Don’t I at least get a… *picks up a phone* Phone call?!

Dark Knight: Oh, fine, you big baby.

Sean: But you only get five minutes!

*And so Shadowstrike dials the phone*

Shadowstrike: Mama, just killed a man.
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead.
Mama, life had just begun…
But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away!

Everyone else: Mama ooo~!

Shadowstrike: Didn’t mean to make you cry!
If I’m not back again this time tomorrow–
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters…

*A sudden explosion interrupts the group. The intruders are…*

Rebel: The Code: Island Attackers!

Majin: …Say what.

Agile: Aha! So this is what you X-Hunters have been planning! Trying to destroy a Coca-Cola factory in the name of Pepsi, eh?!

Majin: *a part of him dies inside*

Serges: Good thing you decided to put Majin undercover for us, huh boss?

Agile: You bet!

Metabad: Majin is a traitor!

Rebel: How dare you!

Majin: Err… I’m confused… and man I still gotta hang–*throws up Violen*

Everyone else: Eww…

Violen: *wearing a pinky frilly dress* April Fools everyone!

Agile: Now, to finish this! Let’s just see who the real murderer is! *pulls Violen’s mask off* Gasp!

Serges: It was Majin!

Both Majins: *laughs nervously*

Outlaw: Then who is this other Majin? *pulls his mask off* Gasp!

Sean: It’s Void!

Majin: So who the heck did I kill… or Shadow killed… or was it Violen?

Agile: *steps forward* Obviously it was all an ingenious attempt for Majin, knowing that Void was in fact Violen to kill him and thus throw him back up to reveal that he had actually killed himself which would result in the immediate death of Void.

Void: *immediately dies*

Sean: It all makes perfect sense!!

Majin: No it doesn’t.

Metabad: Yes it does.

Majin: No, it doesn’t.

Rebel: Yes, it does.

Majin: No it doesn’t, damn it!

Agile: *grabs Majin’s jaw and moves it* “I mean yes it does silly me hahahah.” Look! He admits! Take him away!

*Members of the CIA and X-Hunters grab Majin and drag him off.*

Majin: Too late, my time has come.
Sends shivers down my spine,
Body’s aching all the time…
Goodbye everybody–I’ve got to go…
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth–!!

Everyone else: Mama ooo~!

Violen: *appears* Anyway the wind blows~…

Majin: I don’t want to die…
I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all!

Rebel: *takes out a crobar and knocks Majin out* Shaddup.

*After a little while, Majin wakes up and notices he is in a courtroom. But it is not a normal courtroom, for he is standing the middle of a spotlight, and the Island Attackers, X-Hunters, and other teams are seated around him. He looks up and sees the judge, which looks like Donald Trump, peering at him, and other various villains to the side acting as the jury.*

Trump: *in a loud, booming voice* HOW DO YOU PLEAD?

Majin: Innocent, what else?! This is ridiculous, I didn’t kill anyone! Shadowstrike did!

Phoenix Wright: *slams his hands on the table* He’s lying damn it, and I can prove it!!

Trump: ORDER IN THE COURT!!

*Everyone stops talking.*

Trump: *looks at Frank, who is drawing a picture of the trial* TELL ME, WHAT DO YOU SEE IN THE PICTURE YOU ARE DRAWING, MR. FRANKENPLOID?

*Frank sighs, stands up, and lifts his picture into the air so everyone can see. All it contains is a red squiggly which looks disturbingly like Ronald McDonald’s hair. Everyone simply stares stupidly at the drawing, making “oohs” and “ahhs.”*

Trump: YES, BUT WHAT DO YOU SEE?

Frank: I see a little silhouetto of a man!

Neonman: Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?

Shadowstrike, Blackbelt, Nathan: Thunderbolt and lightning–very, very frightening me!!

Jade: Galileo!

Ben: Galileo!

Jade: Galileo!

Ben: Galileo!

Jade: Galileo!

Ben: Figaro!!

Alpha Movement: Magnifico-o-o-o-o-o-o…

Majin: But I’m just a poor boy and nobody loves me–

Wily’s Warriors: He’s just a poor boy from a poor family!
Spare him his life from this monstrosity!

Majin: Easy come, easy go, will you let me go–

Trump: Bismillah!

Ryouga, Oreo, Loreo: No, we will not let you go–

CIA: Let him go–

Trump: Bismillah!

Jobin, Quint X, Red: We will not let you go–

Red Alert: Let him go–

Trump: Bismillah!

Sigma, Vile, Wily, Bass: We will not let you go–

Majin: Let me go–

X-Hunters: Will not let you go–

Majin: Let me go–

Alien Wily, Gutsdozer, Dragon: Will not let you go–

Majin: Never, never, never let me go-o-o-o-o-o-o–

Shadow Hunters: No, no, no, no, no, no, no!!

Starnik: Oh mama mia, mama mia!

Majin: Mama mia, let me go!
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,
for me–

Everyone else: For me!!

Trump: *pounding* I SAID ORDER IN THE COURT OR I WILL FIRE EVERY SINGLE ONE YOU!!

*Everyone shuts up.*

Trump: ANYWAY, WHAT IS THE VERDICT?

Mr. Whiz: *hands Trump an envelope*

Trump: *opens the envelope* GUILTY!!

Anti-Majin: *stands up and points* Hah! I KNEW you were going to get the ax! You hax!!

Majin: Shut up!

Trump: MAJIN YOU SHALL BE FACING THE DEATH PENALTY IN EXACTLY TEN MINUTES. FEEL FREE TO DO WHATEVER UNTIL THEN.

Majin: Can I go home?

Trump: YOU CAN GO TO HELL.

Majin: Hey!

*After the trial…*

Rebel: Majin, I’ll never forget ya.

Majin: Really?

Rebel: No, actually I lied.

Majin: Oh…

Rebel: In fact, I’ve already found a replacement for you. C’mon out!

Naoshi: Hey.

Majin: *stares*

Naoshi: Rebel, guess what?

Rebel: What?

Naoshi: I LOVE AVI!!

*Out of nowhere Metabad appears with two guitars and hands one to Rebel. The two then proceed to rawk out.*

Metabad: So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?

Rebel: So you think you can love me and leave me to die?!

Metabad: Oh, baby–can’t do this to me baby!

Rebel: Just gotta get out–just gotta get right outta here!!

*Rebel immediately jumps out of a 20-story window and plummet to his death. Naoshi and Metabad scream.*

Naoshi: *points at Majin* Oh my God! You killed Rebel!

Metabad: You bastard!!

Majin: If I got a nickle everytime someone called me that, I’d have… *counts his fingers* 5 cents.

*X, Zero, and Axl come in and slap handcuffs on Majin.*

X: You are under arrest for the murder of a suicide!

Majin: But I’m already under arrest!

X: Then you’ll be above arrest, damn it!

Axl: Zero, quick, DO A BARREL ROLL!

Zero: *does a barrel roll out of the same window Rebel jumped out of and dies.*

X: NOOOOOOOO ZERO!! *cries*

Majin: Now’s my chance! *knocks X out of the way and runs down the hall*

Naoshi: Stop the murderer!

*Majin runs from the law as Code: Island Attackers, Alpha Movement, Red Alert, Wily’s Warriors, X-Hunters, Shadow Hunters, and everyone else chases after him. Eventually he bursts out of the massive labrynth of the building, outside, and with the persuers right on his heels.*

Majin: FREEEEEEEEEEDOM!!! *hits a brick wall* Ow. *looks up* Why is there a brick wall right in front of the doorway?

Trump: SO BAD LITTLE FUGITIVES SUCH AS YOURSELF WOULD NOT TRY AND ESCAPE.

Majin: *turns to see that he is surrounded* Leave me alone!! I didn’t do anything!

Brick: LIAH!!

*The group slowly advances on Majin as everything goes dark. Next thing Majin notices he standing up on a podium with his head stuck in a guillotine.*

Fay: Good, your awake. Now we can commence with the execution!

Majin: Now wait just one cockin-pickin minute…

Fay: Executioner, are you ready to… execute?

Lan: YOU BET!!

Ben: Come on! Kill him already! I haven’t got enough violence today!!

Anime Master: Although this is technically justice.

Ben: Violence, justice… since when were they different?

Fay: *clears his throat* Majin, you have been charged with the murders Void Darkheart, Rebel40000, and Zero.

Majin: Okay, first off, Shadowstrike killed Void! Second, Rebel killed himself! Third, Zero is right over there!

Zero: *waves*

X: *kills Zero* OH MY GOD NOT ZEROOOOOOOOOO!! *cries*

Fay: Okay then, you have been charged with the murders of Void, Rebel, Zero, AND Zero, bitch. Any last requests?

Majin: Don’t kill me?

Fay: Hahahah, sorry, this is America. We don’t spare people here unless they are famous and can give us lots of moolah. *faces Lan* Drop the guillotine!

Lan: EXECUTE!!

Everyone else: Ooh yeah, ooh yeah~!

*As Lan drops the guillotine, the last thing Majin sees is Violen, in tears, coming up to give him a big, wet, sloppy kiss–*

Majin: *wakes up* ALKHDLKGHASKFDH WHERE THE HECK IS THE FIRE?!

Void: *flies in* Majin, you’re awake!

Majin: Void! You’re alive!

Void: *blinks and nods slowly* Yes… it would appear that I am.

Majin: That’s great! What about Rebel, is he alive too? I mean, I saw him jump out of a building and all so I–

Void: I doubt jumping out of a building would harm Rebel, much less kill him, especially when Coke is involved.

Majin: Oh.

Void: *pulls out a clipboard and checks it off* You’ve been out of it for about two days… Apparently you went passed the limit on how much alchohol you can handle… not to mention you drank beer when it was warm.

Majin: Ew.

Void: Very. Anyway, I suggest you get some rest. I’ll have Frank bring you some food later. *starts to leave*

Majin: Hey Void?

Void: *stops* Hmm?

Majin: …Bah, forget it.

*Void shrugs and walks off, and Majin flops back down in his bed and sighs deeply, glad he is out of that nightmare.*

Majin: Nothing really matters…
Anyone can see…
Nothing really matters–nothing really matters to me…

Everyone else: Anyway the wind blows~…

The End


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