Enter the Assassin

August 17, 2014

*Written by Rebel4000*

*Late one night at the Code: Island Attacker’s former base, now Anti-Majin’s evil fortress…*

Anti: Blast it all!

Frank: What are you going on about?

Anti: Didn’t you watch the news, you fool? The CIA is still alive!

Frank: What!? How!?

Anti: Apparently some “huge epic battle of the ages” was recorded a few days ago with them being on it*.

*See Series 2, Epilogue #26 “Dissed in the Digital World (part 6)”

Frank: How could that be…? Our huge epic battle was supposed to be the huge epic battle of the ages*! Not their huge epic battle!

*See Series 2, Epilogue #19 “Dark Time”

Anti: It doesn’t matter. What does is that they are still alive when they should be dead! Do you have any idea what this means?

Frank: I am afraid to ask.

Anti: Plan time.

*And so the two super villains start to draw up plans to thwart the CIA once and for all.*

Frank: We could always just blast their new base out of the skies. Can you say “instant KO?”

Anti: Or we could alter the gravitational field surrounding them, causing them to go flying upwards into outer space!

Frank: Perhaps we could go over there and simply beat the snot out of them again. I mean… we did it before. We just have to get Ryouga for some back up and we’ll be all set.

Anti: We can’t.

Frank: Why not?

Anti: He got lost looking for the bathroom again.

Frank: That’s the fourth time this week!

Ryouga: *knocks a wall down* Uh… is this the bathroom?

Anti and Frank: …

Ryouga: Right. Carry on. *leaves*

Anti: Arrgh!! *tears up the paper they were drawing on* This is pointless! We’re never going to figure out a way to defeat them and they will eventually come back and try to stop our plans of causing mass chaos and destruction!

Frank: Now, now, Anti. There is still hope yet. Let’s take a look in this old book that I found. *holds up a small, black book*

Anti: What the heck is that thing?

Frank: It was made hundreds of years ago–I’m not really certain who wrote it. Anyway, this book contains some pretty useful stuff… surely we can use this to destroy the CIA!

Anti: Let me see that. *takes the book and flips through some pages* Yes… yes! It’s all right here! With this those fools will finally be put in their place! Mwahahahah!!

*The following day, at a local gas station…*

Clerk: Okay, say that one more time, dude.

Void: We want to know if you have fuel for a Whale King.

Clerk: And uh… what’s a Whale King again?

Sean: It’s our ship.

Shadowstrike: A Zoid.

Outlaw: And it’s really, really big.

Rebel: It’s right outside if you wanna take a look at it.

*The clerk turns to look out the window, only to see a massive blue ship sitting on top the gas pumps, crushing them and causing oil to spew everywhere. Outside Metabad and Majin are running around in a circle next to it.*

Metabad and Majin: WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Rebel: Ain’t she a beaut?

Clerk: Uh…

Dark Knight: He must be amazed by the paint job.

*Everyone nods in agreement.*

Clerk: Well, thing is dudes, is that you kinda crushed the gas pumps.

Void: And?

Clerk: Well that’s gonna cost a lot of money to fix.

Shadowstrike: You’re right. Sorry that you have waste your paycheck on that.

Clerk: Hey, wait a sec…

Rebel: Let’s go team!

*The Island Attackers leave, leaving only the clerk to stand there dumbfounded. Outside the CIA get ready to leave.*

Rebel: Okay, so here’s the game plan: We’re gonna grab some buckets and nab as much fuel as possible.

Outlaw: *pounds his stomach* Heh, I’ve got enough storage in here to last a lifetime. *sticks his mouth on a pipe and sucks in all of the oil*

Sean: That’s just gross.

Outlaw: *gets back up* Eh, you kinda get used to it after awhile. *smacks his lips* Mmm, tastes just like momma’s homemade soup.

Void: So, is there anything we’re forgetting before we move on?

Dark Knight: You mean last minute stops?

Void: Well, we’re flying around on a ship most of the time now. You’ve gotta enjoy these stops.

Metabad: OOH!! OOH!! I KNOW A PLACE WHERE WE CAN GO!!

Void: *ignoring Metabad* Anyone? …Please?

Rebel: Void! I see you over there, ignoring a fellow teammate. For shame. *to Metabad* Where do you wanna go Metabad?

Metabad: Oman, it’s gonna rawk.

Rebel: Well, duh. I could tell you that.

Metabad: I wanna go to…

*At Toys ‘R’ Us*

Void: You’ve gotta be kidding me.

Metabad and Rebel: QUIET!!

Majin: *holding a teddy bear* ur teh bestest frend i ever had *hic*

Teddy Bear: *talking* I love you mommy.

Sean: *to Void* Well, it COULD be… I mean, it’s not too bad, Void. We’ve got a video game section.

Void: True.

Outlaw: *is covered by a pile of four year olds* So uh, guys, how long are we staying here?

Shadowstrike: Ask Rebel and Metabad.

Rebel: *tearing open an action figure*

Worker: Sir, you have to pay for that.

Rebel: Bite my shiny metal ass!

Metabad: D00D!! That rawked! *rawks*

Rebel: *rawks*

Outlaw: *has more kids pile on top of him* They… they like me! They really like me! *they then start to leave* W-wait! Come back! Is it the smell? Is it not strong enough!? TELL ME!!

Dark Knight: *sees the kids inching towards him* Oh… HELL no. Get these little freaks away from me! *runs*

Majin: TED WILL SAVE YOU!! *throws the bear at DK, hitting him in the face*

Teddy Bear: I love you mommy.

Dark Knight: Up yours! *takes the bear and rips his head off*

Majin: NOOOOOOOO!! *cries hysterically*

Void: Okay, that’s it. We are leaving. Shadow, get Metabad.

Shadowstrike: Right! *runs over and grabs Metabad by the collar and takes off*

Metabad: THIS DOESN’T RAAAAAAAAaaaaawk…

Rebel: Hey, Void, what do you think you’re doing?

Void: No more fun and games Rebel. I’m taking you down!

Rebel: You’ll never take me alive, coppah!

Void: *ensares Rebel in a Silk Shot*

Rebel: I’M DOWN!! I’M DOWN!! METABAD YOU WILL HAVE TO AVENGE ME!!

Metabad: *comes crawling back with Shadow holding onto him* FOR THE SUPER AWESOME FIGHTING FORCE!!

Shadowstrike: Help me, Outlaw!

Outlaw: Okay, okay. *lays on top of Metabad, pinning him*

Metabad: HELP!! I’VE FALLEN AND I CAN’T GET UP!!

Sean: C’mon, you guys. Do we have to settle things like this? People are starting to stare.

Void: More like they’re looking at DK getting attacked by the hordes of kids.

Dark Knight: They’re everywhere! Everywhere, I tell you! *is dogpiled*

Majin: *still crying over Ted*

*Suddenly an explosion rocks the store. Over in the distance, a group of familiar-looking Reploids greets the CIA in the newly made hole in the wall…*

Outlaw: The X-Hunters!

Agile: Well, well! If it isn’t the Island Attackers!

Serges: We knew that if we came here we’d find you… my tracking device never fails me!

Violen: What!? I thought we were here to buy some more stuffed animals–*is slapped*

Agile: You don’t know what you’re talking about!

Void: So, I take it you want to tango with us?

Shadowstrike: *coughs*

Void: What?

Shadowstrike: Tango, Void? Tango? Is that the best you could come up with?

Void: Be quiet, you. Since Rebel is currently… preoccupied, I must take the mantle of leader momentarily.

Dark Knight: *beneath the pile of kids* Sounds like mutiny to me!

Void: It’s not! I am just the obvious choice for second-in-command!

Sean: Funny, I always assumed that Rebel would put Metabad as No. 2…

Metabad: YEAH!!

Agile: Umm…

Void: Oh, c’mon! Even Rebel has more brains than that.

Outlaw: Yeah, about that Void… We’ve known him for how long, now?

Serges: Uh…

Void: That’s beside the point. If Rebel wanted this team to survive in case something were to happen to him, he’d want it in the hands of someone capable! Someone… like me!

Shadowstrike: But Rebel isn’t even capable himself and yet the team has survived for over three years now…

Rebel: You guys do realize that I am right here, right?

Void: *ignores Rebel* Again, that is completely beside the point–

Violen: *screaming* STOP IGNORING UUUUSSSSSSSSS!!!

*Everyone turns to stare at Violen.*

Agile: Whoa… I didn’t think he had the lungs to scream like that…

Serges: I think I heard the windows crack…

Metabad: Definitely doesn’t rawk.

Violen: It could easily rawk! Actually, no, that’s not quite right. What I mean to say is, that it doesn’t necessarily rawk, but at the same time it’s not completely awful

Agile: Enough of this! It’s time to get down to business!

Void: Here they come! Island Attackers, attack!

*Before anything can happen, however, a blue aura surrounds the store, causing everyone to freeze in place minus the Island Attackers and X-Hunters.*

Serges: Huh?

Shadowstrike: What’s going on?

Dark Knight: *explodes from the pile of kids* Hah! Thought they had me, did they!? Well I showed you fools! Hahahahah!!

Sean: *studying the blue surrounding* This is a highly advanced magic field…

Rebel: *rips free from the Silk Shot* So what are you saying? We’re trapped?

Outlaw: *gets off of Metabad* Looks like it, boss bug.

Metabad: *getting up* Definitely doesn’t rawk.

Violen: *crying* STOP SAYING THAAAAAAAT!!

Sean: Someone must have lured us into this.

Agile: Way to figure it out, genius!

???: You are not as stupid as you all seem.

Outlaw: Who said that?

*A man materializes out of thin air. He was tall and lean, wearing all black with long, blond hair put into a ponytail. His eyes were two colors–one a blood red and the other an icy blue.*

Rebel: Who the Hell are you?

???: My name is of no importance to a walking dead man.

Rebel: *clenches fists* What did you say!?

???: Hmph, very well… The name is Yuber. I have been sent by Anti-Majin to exterminate you.

Majin: huh… Anti know we live?

Yuber: Apparently you all left quite a show that was broadcasted worldwide the other day… Yes, I must thank you for such a wonderful display of carnage.

Metabad: So does this mean you won’t kill us ’cause we just rawk at carnage like that?

Yuber: No.

Metabad: Damn.

Void: Why are you siding with Anti-Majin, though? He’s trying to rule the world! …I think.

Yuber: Because by attempting to do so he will cause large amounts of destruction. Even if he fails… destruction will still result. I thirst for the bloodshed…

Violen: But that’s not very human-like…

Yuber: Right again. I’m not some mere flesh and blood human that you are all used to seeing. I am immortal–I have lived for countless centuries watching this pitiful world continue playing it’s pitiful role… and everytime a chance for this planet to suffer arises I have been there to help assist it.

Outlaw: That’s… just not right…

Yuber: Which is exactly why I’m here now. Anti-Majin told me that if I were to kill you all his plans for a global takeover would speed up, and as you all know, the sooner he commences with part two of his plan the sooner we get to see some people die.

Rebel: So here you are… getting ready to finish us off. Is that it?

Yuber: Precisely… I see that as leader you do have some brains after all.

Dark Knight: You call yourself immortal… but I will prove to you otherwise!

Majin: *sober* And you said you worked for Anti. We won’t let you stop us!

Yuber: Strong words for someone afraid of kids and another a drunk. Very well then. *draws two long, thin swords from his sleeves* Prepare for the end.

Rebel: All right, let’s go do this! Island Attackers… ATTACK!!

Serges: Wait!

Everyone: Huh?

Agile: *pulls out a beam saber* So you guys are just gonna fight each other while we stand back and watch? I don’t think so!

Shadowstrike: What are you idiots going on about–

Serges: We are sick of being treated like third-rate villains! We’ll take this guy down by ourselves, and then we’ll defeat you, Island Attackers!

Violen: What he said!

Yuber: Hmph… what fools. Very well, then. Prepare to meet your maker.

*The three X-Hunters charge at Yuber, weapons drawn. Before they make impact, however, the demon disappears and reappears behind them.*

Yuber: Too slow.

Serges: Wha–AAAGH!! *has his arm sliced off*

Agile: Serges! *swings his saber*

Yuber: *parries* Do you honestly think you can defeat me, Reploid? *knocks Agile’s sword out of his hands* They always say ignorance is bliss. Unfortunately for you, that will not be the case.

Agile: What!?

Yuber: *cuts Agile in half*

Agile: Gagh!! *crumples to the floor*

Violen: CUTTTTTTTTTT ITTTTTTTTT OUTTTTTTTTTTT PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE!! *swings mace at Yuber*

Yuber: *dodges and grabs the chain* “Cut it out?” The Reploid was so weak… the power of my blade sliced through him like butter. I didn’t even try. *pulls the chain and flings Violen*

Violen: AAHHH!! *crashes into Serges, crushing him*

Yuber: You three bore me. *turns to walk away but stops* What the…!?

Agile: *holding onto Yuber’s ankle* W-wait… another round…

Yuber: You don’t seem to comprehend what has just happened. Here… allow me to make it more clear. *stabs Agile in the head*

CIA: !!!

Violen: Agile! Serges! NOOOOOOOO!!

Yuber: And you… your screaming has gotten on my last nerve. Time to say goodnight.

*With a flick of his wrist, Violen is suddenly struck with a bolt of lightning, causing him to scream in pain as his circuits are fried. A minute passes afterward, with no movement coming from the X-Hunters mangled remains.*

Sean: He… he killed them… He really killed them!!

Rebel: You monster! They weren’t even a challenge for you and you still slaughtered them!

Yuber: Why do you care? After all, they were your enemies. If anything you should be thankful that I was eliminating such nuisances for you.

Dark Knight: I’ve gotten sick and tired of this guy…

Yuber: If you think you can fare better than the three stooges, then please be my guest…

Rebel: Right. Island Attackers… KICK HIS ASS!!

Outlaw: Spin Wheel! *unleashes a pair of wheels at Yuber*

Yuber: *quickly moves*

Shadowstrike: Sonic Slicer! *releases a blade*

Yuber: *steps to the side*

Void: Silk Shot! *fires a ball of junk*

Yuber: *easily dodges*

Sean: Crystal Shot!

Metabad: Speed Burner!

Yuber: *dodges again*

Rebel: Magnet Mine!

Majin: Strike Chain!

Yuber: *moves out of the way*

Dark Knight: Enough of this! Bubble Splash! *opens his mouth and fires a stream of bubbles*

Yuber: *doesn’t move at all as the bubbles float gently past him* …Is that all? How disappointing.

Dark Knight: Why you…!! *creates his energy pincers and lunges at Yuber*

Yuber: My turn.

*Yuber runs toward Dark Knight and quickly moves to the side, using one of his swords to slash the CIA member’s side, making him come crashing to the ground. He then leaps and teleports directly in front of Outlaw and slashes him in the chest, making him fall back, and then quickly runs over to Void and attacks him, slicing his wings clean off, causing him to land face first on the floor.*

Sean: He’s fast!

Rebel: You won’t get away with this! *pulls out multiple shurikens and flings them at Yuber*

Yuber: Too late for that. *dodges and gets behind Magna, piercing one of his swords through his tail and ultimately his midsection*

Rebel: Gah!! *collapses*

Metabad: Nooo, not my rawkin buddy! *ignites his blue flames* I’ll get you for that! *charges*

Yuber: *attemps to get out of the way but gets punched in the face, knocking his hat off* …Not bad. You actually managed to hit me. I suppose it’s time to throw off the kid gloves, then.

Void: Ugh… Metabad! Get away from him! NOW!!

Metabad: What?

Yuber: Experience true power… my Eight Devil Rune! *launches himself forward, creating several afterimages as he attacks Metabad from all sides*

Metabad: AHHH!! *is badly beaten up*

Void: METABAD!!

Outlaw: No!!

Yuber: *finishes and knocks Metabad to the side next to Rebel* Who else wants to waste my time?

Dark Knight: *is back up* Grr… he’s fast… and strong.

Outlaw: It’s almost like that time when Anti, Frank, and Ryouga beat us only it’s just one of him.

Majin: We need to come up with something, and quick.

Sean: I’ve got it!

Void, Outlaw, Dark Knight, Majin, Shadowstrike: What?

Sean: He focuses mainly on speed, right? Well if I use my powers I can slow him down.

Void: Good thinking. I’ll move in and distract him. Everyone else, you make sure Sean can finish and when he does, move in for the finishing blow!

Dark Knight: Ugh… I think I’m wasted… I don’t think I can help much…

Void: Don’t worry about it. We can handle this. You just rest and watch Rebel and Metabad. All right… time to do this!

Outlaw: Good luck, man.

Shadowstrike: Don’t die.

Void: Will do. *walks up to Yuber* If you think you’ve beaten us then you’re mistaken.

Yuber: Hmph. I see no reason to fear you. Even if you aren’t human you Reploids are still… so pathetically weak.

Void: Oh yeah? Then let me show you something! *extends his hands forward and fires a powerful beam of light*

Yuber: What the–!? *moves but is hit in the shoulder* Argh! You will pay for that… with your lives! *hand begins to glow*

Void: *turns to Sean* Sean, now!

Sean: I’m on it! *releases a blast that ends up slowing Yuber down*

Yuber: W-what is this…? I can hardly move…

Majin: *uses his chains to tie Yuber’s hands behind his back* Everyone! Get him!

Outlaw: *attacks with Spin Wheel*

Yuber: *is slashed up by the wheel* Ugh!!

Shadowstrike: Now to finish this! *runs up to Yuber and kicks him square in the gut*

Yuber: Oof! *goes flying back and hits the ground*

Outlaw: We did it!

Shadowstrike: Oh yeah, I got him all right. Did you guys see that sweet finishing blow?

Void: Good job back there, Sean.

Majin: Yeah, if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have been able to tie him down.

Shadowstrike: I hate you all.

Sean: We can celebrate later–We need to check up on our fallen comrades first.

*The remaining CIA members get Rebel and Metabad. In a few minutes they are concious again.*

Metabad: Ow… that was definitely not rawkin.

Rebel: *playing with the whole in his stomach* This is going to hurt in the morning.

Void: *has his wings underneath his arm* Speak for yourself.

Rebel: So… what about the X-Hunters?

Sean: *walks up to Rebel* I was just checking them out. Their life signs… it’s gone.

Rebel: *wide-eyed* You mean they really are…?

Outlaw: Man… I didn’t think that they’d become casualties in this mess, too…

Majin: It was always them and us, after all.

*The older members are all silent for a moment, remembering their past struggles with the villainous team.*

Void: *changing the topic* Anyway, why is this aura still surrounding us?

Majin: He’s right… it’s still here. The people are still frozen too.

Dark Knight: *busy kicking a kid* Take this! And that! Mwahahah!!

Outlaw: Guys… I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

Rebel: Yeah… Say, what did you do with that Yuber guy’s body?

Shadowstrike: Huh?

Rebel: The body. It’s not there anymore.

Void: We didn’t touch it.

Dark Knight: Then… that means–

*Dark Knight is cut short as a sword plunges through his body and then slowly taken out.*

Rebel: Dark Knight!

Dark Knight: I’m… okay… *passes out*

Metabad: AHHH!! IT’S THE MAN IN BLACK!!

Yuber: I told you I was immortal. Did you think some kick was going to stop me?

Shadowstrike: (You weren’t acting all that cool when I actually DID it, bitch.)

Rebel: You bastard… you will pay for what you have done! Island Attackers… ATTACK!!

Yuber: …Not today.

CIA: Huh?

Yuber: You are stronger than I gave you credit for… It might be more fun to have this battle when you are actually ready.

Majin: So does this mean that we actually have a fighting chance?

Yuber: What are you talking about? Your deaths will be served by my hands. I just wanted to say farewell for now… as I gave you all a lovely parting gift. *kicks Dark Knight’s body over to the CIA*

Outlaw: How could you!?

Yuber: Consider yourselves lucky. *takes a step back* Island Attackers, the next time we meet is when you are lead down a fiery path of destruction.

Rebel: Wait!!

*As Rebel reaches out for Yuber, a black portal opens up beneath the enigmatic man and pulls him in before closing. The rest of the members can only look in shock. Immediately the aura disappears and time resumes once more.*

Rebel: He’s… gone…

Void: *puts a hand on Rebel’s shoulder* Rebel… let’s get back to the base. We need to tend to Dark Knight.

Rebel: …Yeah…

*The Island Attackers solemnly head back to the Whale King. Elsewhere, Yuber is reporting what happened to Anti.*

Anti: So, what you are basically saying is that you failed to destroy them?

Frank: How completely useless.

Ryouga: I don’t even know what’s going on around here…

Anti: My plans! I need those CIA goons dead once and for all! I need to wipe them out so I can–

Yuber: The plan hasn’t changed. Let me handle the CIA. You can just keep focusing on your end of the bargain.

Anti: Ergh… right. Well, you just better make certain that it doesn’t happen again. After all, I’m the one who summoned you!

Yuber: But of course.

Frank: *suspicious* Anti… I think we should keep an eye on him…

Yuber: There is no need to concern yourselves over me–I am more than happy to assist your cause because of the outcome. So, please, do not mind me… and I will continue fighting the Island Attackers for as long as necessary.

The End

 

Bride of Frankenploid

August 10, 2014

*Written by Void Darkheart*

*One evening, in a bar where everyone knows your name and wants your head for the price that’s on it (known as Head Chop for those that are truly curious), Morph Moth of the team Code: Island Attackers is currently sharing a table with everyone’s favorite Boba Fett cosplayer, Vile.*

Void: Okay Vile, I know we had our… disagreements in the past…

Vile: If you call me wanting to crush your skull into a fine dust and then use your wings as my new means of flight a disagreement…

Void: *coughing a bit* Yes, well… given what happened in the past, I’m not too surprised you’re still wanting me dead.

Vile: You tried to turn me into a toaster-slash-toilet!

Void: How was I supposed to know that those were your parts? It was all junk!

Vile: It was in a crate labeled “Vile’s Parts! Do Not Touch!” in fifteen different languages.

Void: All of which was painted over in a disgusting shade of green…

Vile: Just get on with it Moth!

Void: Well fine. Simply put… you know my skills, especially pertaining to junk and spare parts. Well I just want you to give me some of AM’s spare parts, a bit of funding, and I’ll design you a warrior the likes of which you have never seen before!

Vile: You’re saying you can turn spare parts from those worthless half wits into a single competent warrior?

Void: I guarantee you will not be disappointed Vile. You know what they say. You don’t want to get on the bad side of B… Vile.

Vile: Very well then. I expect results within a month. Otherwise…

*Vile then left a pile of money on the table, quickly getting up and leaving.*

Void: No problem Vile… and with this cash, the team shouldn’t have any problems meeting any of the bills for the next month.

*Two Months Later, In Morph’s Lab*

Void: *working away some at his computer* A few adjustments here… three more firewalls here… And done! With that, I now have a program that can be used in… um…

*Morph turns around and faces a large object underneath a tarp*

Void: I can’t really call you Frankenploid MkII… that would be a bit too obvious, and the original Frankenploid would want to kill me all that more…

Rebel: How about Francine?

Void: That’s perfect! It even fits in with the fact that it will act like a female!

*Morph quickly starts to put in the name into the program before stopping and looking over at Magna*

Void: Pray tell how you got in here?

Rebel: You left the door open. Care to explain what you’re doing making another Frankenploid?

Void: *shrugged a bit, taking the program disk out and heading over to the tarp* Making some quick cash off of Vile, mainly. This thing is like, ten times worse than Frank is, and I mean that she’d be a push over if we ever had to fight.

Rebel: *nods a bit* So you’re conning money out of one of the many people who would want us dead?

Void: It wouldn’t be the first time. I’ve conned Serges out of more money than he could ever dream of having. Why just last week I managed to pin the Internet’s crash and subsequent five day downtime on him. He’ll be broke for EONS!

*A few minutes later, after a sufficient period of laughter, and in the Whale King’s Repair Bay…*

Dark Knight: So is there a reason why you called us all together?

Outlaw: *dressed up in an armor of what appears to be toilets and a very foul stench* Oh, Void always does this when he’s about to unveil his latest invention.

Shadowstrike: Last time he did this, we all switched bodies*…

*See Series 2, Epilogue #16 “Opposite Day”

Sean: And given he made Frankenploid, that sort of makes his track record 0-2 right now…

Void: Hey! What about that automatic cookie maker I debuted prior to our base being destroyed?

Rebel: Just get on with the unveiling of this monstrosity, Void!

*Sighing, Void went and pulled a large cloth off of the object next to him.*

Void: BEHOLD! FRANCINE!

Francine: *Belch* When is dinner?

Dark Knight: What kind of monstrosity is this?

*Francine growled, and quickly rushed over to unleash a fury of punches on the crab.*

Rebel: Damn it… Island Attackers, attack!

*In a flash, the entire team unleashed all of their attacks on Francine and DK. Fortunately for DK, he survived and was missed by Outlaw’s attacks. Francine, on the other hand, was a charred, scorched, cut up husk laying on the ground*

Francine: W-what… what diddddd I dddddo?

Rebel: Void, explain, now!

Void: Simple. Francine here is just a pile of junk. Even Majin could beat her when his blood is nothing more than alcohol.

Shadowstrike: So you didn’t make a weapon of mass destruction?

Void: Nope. Besides, with Frank, Anti-Majin, and that other yahoo with them, the last thing we need is me creating another unstoppable creation.

Metabad: So when can we get to RAWKING?

Sean: And why did you make her?

Void: Rock away if you wish, Meta, and as for her creation… we needed money for bills and repairs, so she’s being sold to Vile as his newest, and strongest, soldier.

*Meta goes off to rawk while the rest of the team process Void’s words.*

Void: For now, she’ll be fine and we’ll just test her out for a bit. You know, make sure she doesn’t try to destroy us and all.

*The next morning…*

Outlaw: Rebel, Francine’s hogging the TV…

Rebel: Do I look like I’m your babysitter? Just punch her in the face and be done with it.

Outlaw: But… but she’s a girl… I think…

Void: Outlaw, Francine is a walking pile of junk. If there is anything female in that thing, then its almost pure coincidence.

Outlaw: Oh? Alright then. *wanders off*

Sean: Are you sure that she’s okay? She is made out of discarded parts…

Void: Sean, I can make her out of quality parts, but why bother? This is just to fleece Vile out of money, remember?

Sean: Its not that… I meant mentally. All those parts have to be at conflict with each other.

Void: Its not a problem. Now for the last time don’t…

Shadowstrike: *walks into the area* Say, guys… why is there a large hole in the side of the ship?

Rebel: Better question, how did a large hole get into the side of the ship with out us knowing about it?

Void: Stealth explosives?

Sean: Aren’t explosives supposed to be loud though?

Void: No, you see, I’ve been working on…

Rebel: So you’re saying someone in our ship busted a hole out of it?

Void: Maybe… but who?

Outlaw: *walking back to the rather enlarging group* Hey! Francine’s gone now.

*Morph’s eyes went wide, or as wide as they could, when he heard Gator’s words.*

Void: Guys! We need to find her! NOW!

Rebel: What did you do this time Void?

Void: Well… in about… an hour at best, she’ll explode due to not being on the ship as she’s supposed to be.

Shadowstrike: And we’re worried about her exploding… why?

Void: Because if we don’t stop her, not only will we get blamed for whoever she harms and/or kill, Vile will come hunting us for our heads.

Sean: Don’t you mean your head?

Void: You think such a thing would keep Vile from taking everyone’s head?

Rebel: He’s right. Come on, we’ve got to go clean up his mess now.

*In the nearest city…*

Francine: I’m nothing more than a worthless pile of junk to them, am I? I’ll show them! I’ll be the best thing this town has ever seen!

*With a roar, she went to throw a punch, one that seemed to be heading straight for the big, red, massive form of the X-Hunter Violen. A punch that hit and, after a moment, caused Francine to cry out in pain*

Violen: *looks over and at Francine* Hm? What was that? A gust of wind? Please tell me that wasn’t your best…

Francine: Yes… it was actually…

Violen: Pathetic! That was worse than what me and the rest of the X-Hunters–

Francine: X-Hunters? You’ve got to help me get revenge on the Island Attackers!

Violen: *blinks some, looking at the junk pile* Wha? What do you mean? Well, I guess I could introduce you to the others… we’re already about as far down in the pecking order as you can get…

*A few minutes later, in a dumpster behind a dumpster at the back of a warehouse of dumpsters…*

Serges: Violen… what is this junk pile doing in our base?

Violen: The lady wants us to help her get revenge on the Island Attackers.

Agile: It’s a lady now, and what makes you think we can even do that? For that matter, why do you seem rather… intelligent lately?

Serges: Ah, now that’s a good question. You see, my guess is, with out that insipid show to watch every day…

Violen: HEY! ‘I Love Lucy’ is not an insipid show!

Serges: *stares at Violen for a bit* As I was saying… with out watching it every day, it was bound to happen that he would, eventually, regain some intelligence.

Agile: So we just need a TV that plays a show twenty-four hours, seven days a week.

Francine: Or you three can help me destroy the Island Attackers…

Serges: What are you still doing here you junk pile?

Francine: I’m not a junk pile…

Agile: You are too and now get out of our secret base!

Francine: But this is just a dumpster…

Rebel: Which is an appropriate place for trash such as the X-Hunters.

*Magna’s sudden appearance and words caused the X-Hunters to jump back in surprise and shock while Francine calmly turned around to face him.*

Francine: Hey! Get out of our secret base!

Serges: She’s not really with us… you can take her away. We weren’t planning on doing anything evil… today at least.

Void: Oh, we’re not here for you three, as much as I’d enjoy making your life even more miserable Serges…

Metabad: But we’re going to rawk out of here with our gal there!

Rebel: Sean, if you will…

*Nodding, Sean quickly activated his time slow, slowing Francine and the X-Hunters down, leaving the rest of the Island Attackers ample time to grab the Female Frankenploid and teleport themselves back to the base.*

Violen: Well, that was anti-climatic.

Serges: Stop using big words. The universe might implode.

*Later that same week, after Morph had finished the tests on Francine…*

Void: Well, I have to say, it seems like everything is going to be fine now. We get to ship you off now girl.

Francine: You mean you all don’t want me?

Rebel: No, its more we want to stay in one piece in case Morph there does something stupid again.

Void: You wound me Magna…

Sean: Either way, its not that we don’t want you, Francine, but just that matters prior to your awakening state that we have to give you up.

Francine: You know… if you are just jealous of my power, you could say so.

Metabad: You can’t rawk as hard as I or Rebel!

*Before Francine could reply, Morph quickly hit a button, teleporting her out of the base*

Void: And that’s that. I do hope that Blackbelt and the rest of AM have prepared by now.

Rebel: Wait… she is still primed to go off?

Void: No. She’ll just fall to pieces. I took the bomb out when I realized how difficult it would be to explain such a thing.

Dark Knight: Why haven’t we replaced the Moth by now?

Rebel: Because we’re all just as crazy and insane as he is?

*Morph chuckled a bit as he flew off to the lab*

Void: Anyway… that’s the last of that… no more Frankenploids, ever.

*Meanwhile, just outside the Alpha Movement base, or a reasonable facsimile of it…*

Vile: Finally! A warrior with which to make me proud!

Francine: Hm? You mean you know I’m powerful?

Vile: Of course! That moth fears me too much to…

*It was at this point that Francine began to shudder violently, causing Vile to back up some. A few seconds later and Francine quickly fell apart into a pile of junk.*

Vile: That… moth will pay for this…

The End

Final Fiasco III

August 3, 2014

*Written by Sean*

*In one of the many spare rooms of the enormous Whale King, Void is hard at work on a new machine. Suddenly Sean walks in through the open door while playing a videogame.*

Sean: What are you doing? *doesn’t even look up from his game*

Void: Well, for the last couple of hours I’ve been trying to set up a virtual training facility. I’ve had to set up several different machines and computers already, and am still not close to being finished. What are you doing? *never once takes his eyes off his work*

Sean: Playing Final Fantasy III for the Nintendo DS. *finally take his eyes off his game* Need a hand?

Void: Do you even know anything about these machines?

Sean: I was a tech expert on my first team. Also I gave the Yoshobos the little technology they have. Finally I was the guy keeping you and the others alive not too long ago. I think I can help build one of those stereotypical training rooms almost every sci-fi story has. *closes his Nintendo DS and places it on top of Void’s current project*

Void: Fine. Just don’t break anything. *continues working*

Sean: You’re not used to anyone actually being capable of helping with this stuff are you? *sits down and lends a hand*

*The rest of the C:IA walks in*

Shadowstrike: Whoa, someone is actually helping Void with something? Void’s new lab assistant isn’t going to become a crazy backstabber like Frank, right?

Sean: I’m not crazy, a backstabber, or an assistant.

Shadowstrike: So what are you working on anyways?

Void: We obviously need more training considering how easily Anti-Majin beat us. Therefore I decided to create a training room for us we’re we could fight numerous battles of various difficulty in order to be ready for our next fight.

Rebel: Yes, a training room is an amazing idea. I’m glad that I thought and proposed such a wonderful idea to you two.

Metabad: The idea is wonderful, but does it rawk?

Rebel: Of course! Every idea I come up with rawks because I’m awesome and rawk so much! *proceeds to rawk with Metabad because they rawk*

Dark Knight: Maybe it was a bad idea of mine to join this team since you guys seem to be in such a mess, *smiles* but I guess it could always be worse.

Sean: *shocked* Ouch! What was that for?

*Sean quickly stands up and steps away from Void’s machine. In his haste he accidentally knocks his DS into an open panel.*

Dark Knight: I thought it would be funny. *shrugs shoulders*

Sean: Well, it wasn’t!

Majin: durr black hole thing me gots question *hic*

Void: Is it actually important this time?

Majin: ya

Void: Does it have anything to do with beer?

Majin: YA i meen no

Void: Fine, what is the question?

Majin: *points at what Sean and Void had previously been working on* y it go spark spark?

*When Sean was shocked, the electricity started traveling through the wires in the machine. The electrical energy damaged and powered the unfinished machine. Also the Nintendo DS was struck by some of the electrical energy when it fell into the machine.*

Sean: This is going to suck isn’t it?

Void: Probably.

*A blinding flash of light suddenly bursts forth from the machine as the door that the C:IA had entered through shuts. As the light surrounds them, the reploids are temporarily blinded and stunned. The light cleared and the C:IA are suddenly confused of where we are.*

Shadowstrike: What happened?

Void: Sean was working on delicate machinery when his curse was triggered. The electrical discharge caused by the curse activated the machine prematurely. It doesn’t look like I can terminate this simulation, but the simulation should end normally when beaten. Unfortunately, I don’t remember programming a cave like this.

Sean: I need to get this curse removed.

Rebel: I knew this was a bad idea from the start. You should have never built this without consulting me first.

Shadowstrike: So where are we then?

Void: I’m not sure…

Sean: I recognize this place…

Void: How? I know you were just helping me, but you haven’t even looked at the simulations I’ve programmed.

Sean: I’ve played the original and remake of Final Fantasy III dozens of times. This cave looks almost identical to the starting cave of the game.

Void: So I guess the machine somehow accepted your Nintendo DS game as a program to run. You really shouldn’t have left it near such sensitive equipment.

Sean: Don’t blame me; none of this would have happened if Dark Knight hadn’t shocked me.

Dark Knight: I’m hardly responsible for your mess. So now we’ll be treading through some dungeon crawler for possibly days?

Sean: Don’t worry, it seems like we still have our powers.

Void: Wouldn’t be much of a training exercise if we couldn’t use our own abilities.

Sean: Plus, in this game you get job classes so we should be able to go through this rather quickly.

Majin: ME WANT SPESHUL POWERZ!!!

Sean: Not yet, in the DS version sadly you aren’t allowed to get classes until after you defeat Djinn.

*A few minutes later, the C:IA runs into some goblins*

Rebel: This shouldn’t be tough.

Metabad: Who that kid over there with the grey hair? He looks like an old man! *laughs*

Sean: Woah that is Luneth. He is one of the main characters, I guess he got loaded as usual too.

Luneth: Great, more monsters?

Dark Knight: Don’t worry, you lucked out kid. We’re on your side.

Goblin: There are nine of them? At most there are only supposed to be four!

*After a short battle, a quick round of introductions followed and the C:IA and the Light Warrior agree to travel together*

Metabad: Wow, this guys rawks!

Dark Knight: He seems a bit familiar.

Shadowstrike: He is the main character of a popular game and his character is similar to at least one hundred others. The guy who doesn’t quite fit in, causes a bit of trouble, is good at heart with a strong sense of just, and has some magnificent destiny revealed during the series. Yes, he is very original.

Sean: Whatever. We should hurry up and go fight the Land Turtle.

Luneth: You guys are some odd monsters.

Rebel: Hey! Who are you calling a monster?

Luneth: What are you things then?

Void: We’re called reploids and we don’t like being referred to as things.

Luneth: Whatever.

*Later when fighting the Land Turtle*

Luneth: So is this guy a reploid as well? *shortly before charging the Land Turtle*

Void: No, why would you ask something like that? This guy is a regular monster.

Luneth: Well his name sounds sort of like the names of you guys. A word describing what he has power over and then the name of the animal he looks like.

Void: He isn’t made of metal though. He isn’t a reploid.

Luneth: Really? His armor seems pretty hard.

Shadowstrike: He does have a point there. It isn’t too bad of a mistake for someone who has never even seen a robot before.

Void: It still is a rather stupid mistake.

Sean: No, I kind of have to agree with Shadowstrike on this one.

Void: You would.

Dark Knight: Will you idiots stop arguing?!

Rebel: Yes, I defeated this beast all on my own! *standing in front of a collapsing Land Turtle*

Land Turtle: NO! THIS IS NOT FAIR! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A ONE ON ONE FIGHT! *fades away*

Metabad: We rawk! *does victory dance along with Rebel and Luneth*

Outlaw, Void, Majin, Shadowstrike, Dark Knight, Sean: … *just stand there*

Luneth: What are you guys doing? It was hard to accept you not doing this for a random encounter, but you have to at least do it for a boss battle!

Dark Knight: We are not doing something so idiotic.

Majin: hay guis

Void: I’m not getting you a drink.

Majin: I WASNT GONA SAY THAT!!

Void: What?

Majin: teh baddle scren isnt fadin

Void: …

Sean: We really have to do the dance don’t we? *sighs*

Void: *sighs as well* Looks like it.

*Everyone does the stupid victory dance. The battle scene then fades away and the C:IA and Luneth return to the Crystal Cave.*

Sean: Quick, make a dive for the crystal before–

*Another flash of light and the party is outside the cave*

Sean: –we’re teleported away…

Outlaw: Let’s just hurry through this game.

*A few minutes later*

Dark Knight: So this wimp is your childhood friend?

Arc: Hey!

Outlaw: Another stereotypical character, huh?

Shadowstrike: Yeah. He is the main character’s friend, who is a bit of a coward and reads too many books, but can stand up and fight for what he believes in if necessary. I’ve seen guys like this before as well.

*About a minute later*

Dark Knight: How is this girl supposed to help us?

Refia: Hey!

Outlaw: Care to analyze the character again, Shadowstrike?

Shadowstrike: She is a girl who is outspoken and slightly rude to the other party members, but can often show a softer, sweeter side. She refuses to let herself be pushed or ordered around and does the same work as the guys. If you haven’t seen a character like her before, you must have been living under a box for the last ten years.

Outlaw: Ten years?

Shadowstrike: Give or take.

*Slightly later…*

Dark Knight: You’re an actual soldier, and yet you still have no more fighting experience than these bums who have been living simple lives in their simple villages? Are you incompetent?

Luneth, Arc, Refia: Hey!

Ingus: I am far from incompetent!

Outlaw: I guess Square really isn’t that creative.

Shadowstrike: Yeah, this guy is the rival of the main male character who is much more serious and less willing to show his emotions. By the end of the game, he’ll definitely be more open and friendly.

Rebel: Let’s just take out this Djinn guy that every NPC seems to be talking about.

Void: How did he manage to turn people into 2D ghosts?

Sean: Better question is why did he even bother? Or at the very least, why didn’t he do the same to those in the castle?

*Even later*

Dark Knight: Am I the only one slightly disappointed that the princess’s outfit isn’t the same as her original outfit?

Luneth: That is the nicest thing he has said.

Sean: In the original, Sara’s outfit was a bit skimpier.

Princess Sara: Hey!

Outlaw: Do I even have to ask?

Shadowstrike: No. She is the stereotypical, rebellious princess that seems to be in love with one of her soldiers whom often seems to rush to her rescue despite her desire to do things on her own.

*A couple minutes later*

Rebel: Hah, this guy was no match for our greatness!

Metabad: He should have known better to pick a fight with us for–

Rebel and Metabad: We rawk! *the two proceed to rawk*

Djinn: *while fading away* NO FAIR! THERE WAS ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE FOUR, NOT TWELVE!

Princess Sara: Hey! Don’t I count for anything?

Djinn: NO! *finishes fading away*

*Another flash of light and they find themselves once again in the Crystal Cave. The Light Warriors are then given the powers of the Wind Crystal, but the C:IA don’t seem to get anything.*

Majin: *sober* Where are our powers?

Dark Knight: I thought we were supposed to get special abilities.

Void: It must be because we aren’t the Light Warriors. The four crystals are only supposed to lend their power to the four warriors chosen by the light. Not eight reploids sent to this world by a glitch.

Sean: I’ll fix that. *walks over to the Wind Crystal*

Void: What are you going to do?

Sean: Quiet, just let me concentrate. *presses both hands against the crystal and closes his eyes*

*Sean and the Wind Crystal then begin to glow.*

Outlaw: What is he doing?

Void: Well, Sean is CRYSTAL Snail and the Wind Crystal despite being incredibly powerful is still a crystal. I guess Sean is just trying to communicate with the Wind Crystal and see if he can exercise any control over it.

Sean: And doing so would be easier if you all would shut up. *takes a step back from the crystal* That should do it. *Sean and the Wind Crystal then cease to glow*

Rebel: Do what?

*Eight beams of light then come forth from the Wind Crystal and strike each member of the C:IA*

Sean: That. We should now be recognized as Light Warriors. I’ve convinced all four crystals that there are now twelve warriors of light instead of four. Now let me see what else I can do. *steps back over to the Wind Crystal and both he and the crystal once again begin to glow*

Shadowstrike: What else could he do?

Void: Well, the crystals hold immense amounts of power and are supposedly connected. He might be trying to boost the amount of power the Wind Crystal gives us.

Sean: There. *Once again steps back from the Wind Crystal*

*The Wind Crystal glows even brighter as Sean returns to normal. Then a single beam of light shoots forth from the crystal and hits Sean’s right hand. The Wind Crystal then returns to normal.*

Dark Knight: So what did that do?

Sean: *opens his hand and reveals a small crystal* Not as much as I wanted, but it still did something. This little thing should allow me to change our classes during battle along with boost a character’s already existing power. I might be able to temporarily upgrade classes to a higher level or allow access to classes that aren’t supposed to be gained until later. Also I should be able to grant these temporary upgrades onto non-Light Warriors as well.

Shadowstrike: So basically, your using more cheat codes than this game could possibly have?

Sean: Do you want to get out of here quickly or not?

Shadowstrike: Yeah, I just didn’t think you liked cheating at games.

Sean: I normally don’t, but we don’t have time I usually devote to an RPG to waste.

Shadowstrike: Whatever. I can’t wait until this adventure is over. What is next?

Sean: We have to climb a mountain.

*Later after climbing the mountain*

Majin: *finds and picks up a baby dragon* Aren’t you a cute little bugger? *gets his hand bitten* Aww, look, he’s teething.

Sean: There is a lot of baby dragons on the top of this mountain!

Rebel: And?

Sean: We could raise dragons and use them in battle like that one time with the digimon*! Wouldn’t dragon partners be awesome?

*See Series 2, Epilogues #21-26 “Dissed in the Digital World”

Void: Don’t we get attacked by Bahamut right about now?

Sean: Oh, yeah. We kind of do…

*Just then Bahamut flies down and a battle scene commences*

Rebel: So how shall this beast fall before us?

Sean: We aren’t supposed to beat Bahamut right now.

Rebel: What?

Sean: We run away.

Rebel: Why?

Sean: Bahamut at this point in the game has immense HP and his HP resets after each turn. It is impossible to win right now.

Rebel: What? I refuse to flee; I could defeat this dragon on my own!

Metabad: This dragon can’t beat us!

Sean: *sighs* We should just let them find out on their own.

Void: Yeah, it should work out best that way. *sits down*

Luneth: You two are just going to abandon you’re friends?!

Void: No, if we were abandoning them we would run away on our own. We’re just waiting for them to get some sense knocked into them.

*An hour later…*

Sean: They’re still at it?

Void: I guess we can always try to deplete his HP before it resets.

Rebel: What are you guys doing? Lend a hand already!

Sean: Do you think I should see what this baby can do? *holds out the crystal he got from the Wind Crystal*

Void: Might as well.

Sean: Time to see just how great the power of the crystals is.

*Twelve beams of light fly from Sean’s crystal and hit each C:IA member and each Light Warrior. Each glows brightly as his or her armor changes.*

Luneth: Whoa, I feel much stronger.

Arc: I’ve only read about a power like this.

Refia: I can feel the energy flowing through me.

Ingus: I never encountered something this powerful in all my time as a soldier.

Dark Knight: I guess you aren’t completely useless after all.

Sean: Thanks, I guess.

Rebel: Let’s show this dragon whose boss! Attack!

*Ten minutes later*

Bahamut: THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IMPOSSIBLE! *fades away*

Metabad: We rawk!

*Meanwhile*

Bahamut: We’re am I?

Land Turtle: I take it you usually don’t lose in battle.

Bahamut: No, I don’t. What is this place?

Land Turtle: Our entire world is just a programmed game. When defeated in battle, our code isn’t deleted. After our fight is over, we’re just sent back into storage we’re we came from. This simulation seems to have no problem creating digital bodies for all the monsters in the game, but it is having a problem un-creating powerful creatures like bosses. After the final boss is defeated and the simulation ends, the simulation we’ll be terminated and us along with us. The good news is that we are finally allowed to socialize with each other.

Bahamut: What about learn from our mistakes?

Land Turtle: When the game is restarted, so are we. Everything we do will be the same as before. Any knowledge gained from the last game is instantly lost.

Bahamut: So I’m just supposed to sit here and talk to all the losers who get their butts kicked by those twelve cheating warriors?

Land Turtle: Pretty much.

Bahamut: Screw that! If they are going to cheat, then so am I! I’m not sticking around. I’m going to escape this entire game by sending myself to a different computer system! *vanishes*

Land Turtle: Wow, do you think he can actually escape?

Djinn: How would I know?

*Now, back with our heroes who are finishing celebrating their victory on the mountain.*

Rebel: So where to–

*Everything and everyone except for the C:IA flickers for a few minutes*

Rebel: …Next?

Majin: Dude! That was awesome!

Shadowstrike: What was that?

Metabad: Whatever it was, it rawked!

Sean: Bahamut is not supposed to be defeated in combat. We almost crashed the game.

Rebel: So by being more awesome than the game expected, we could end this before taking down the final boss?

Void: Or glitching the game could possibly kill us.

Metabad: So it didn’t rawk?

Void: It was a bad thing. It didn’t ‘rawk’ and it wasn’t ‘awesome.’

Metabad and Majin: Aw…

Sean: We probably should try and play through the game normally.

Void: Agreed.

*Later in the Tower of Owen*

Void: You see there is no need to sacrifice yourself, Desch. With our abilities and knowledge we should be able to repair the tower without suffering a loss.

Desch: Thanks.

Sean: Void, what was it we just decoded a couple of hours ago?

Void: True, but this guy has been in our party for a while are we really going to just let him die?

Desch: Are you guys going to help or do I still have to jump?

Sean: It isn’t like he actually dies.

Void: Still it is a bit heartless even knowing that he is just a very simple computer program.

Desch: Guys?

Sean: That isn’t what I meant.

Desch: I am going to jump if you don’t help soon. *gets ready to jump*

Void: What did you mean?

Sean: He really doesn’t die from this.

Void: What?

*Desch jumps*

Sean: He appears later on in the game.

Void: Thanks for ruining it for me.

Sean: Sorry. Now that I think about it is pretty bad to just let him almost die. I guess we can help out.

*Both turn to face Desch and find him missing*

Void: Well, I guess it is kind of pointless to argue now.

Sean: Yeah.

Void: So what crystal is next?

Sean: Fire.

Metabad: Really?

Sean: Yes.

Metabad: That’s awesome! Will it increase my fire powers and make me rawk even more?

Void: No.

Metabad: Not awesome.

*Later after gaining both power from the Fire Crystal and then just after finding the Water Crystal*

Aria: The light has been restored to the Water Crystal. You can now receive its power.

Rebel: I guess we should continue on then. *begins to leave and everyone follows except Sean* You coming Sean?

Sean: In a minute. You guys continue on, I’ll catch up.

Rebel: Okay.

*Everyone begins to leave and then an enemy projectile heads for the party. Aria moves to take the hit for everyone else and then Sean’s shell takes the attack.*

Kraken: Light warriors, my first attack might have failed, but–

Void: And you were complaining about me trying to help Desch.

Sean: This is different.

Void: How so?

Sean: First off, she actually dies.

Kraken: Light warriors?

Void: Thanks for spoiling even more of this game.

Kraken: I guess I have to skip the dramatic speech. Blizzara! *everyone except Void and Sean manage to block or avoid the attack*

Sean: Maybe we should wait until after the battle to continue arguing. *brushes pieces of ice off his armor and pulls the arrow out of his shell*

Void: Agreed.

*Meanwhile*

Hein: There is no way that Kraken can defeat those warriors.

Gutsco: Eh, I think it is possible for him to win. Those kids are way too easily distracted.

Hein: Their power is too great to lose against a weakling like Kraken. They defeated me after all.

Land Turtle: The class that people use to beat you with wields books. I don’t think you can really claim to be that powerful.

Hein: At least it is better than being beaten by a guy without any spells or even a class.

*Kraken then appears with the other defeated bosses*

Kraken: That has to be my least favorite battle. They outnumbered me by so much and didn’t even pay attention to my speech. Those warriors even went as far as to block my initial attack and deprive me the pleasure of showing how evil I am by not having any remorse for killing an innocent girl.

Hein: See? I told you he couldn’t win.

Gutsco: Whatever. Just don’t think because they beat you means they can’t lose.

Kraken: Um, guys? Don’t you care about how the battle went?

Hein: When did I say that?

Gutsco: It’s just how you act.

Kraken: I mean it was a tough battle still; don’t you want to hear about it?

Hein: Oh, like you are one to talk. Weren’t you the one who tried absorbing the power of the fire crystal turning yourself into the Salamander?

Gutsco: So?

Hein: Weren’t you bragging then that you would crush those Light Warriors and that you were invincible?

Kraken: Just because I didn’t kill the girl this time doesn’t mean I’m less of a villain.

Gutsco: Were those my exact words?

Hein: They were close enough.

Gutsco: Want to see how you handle the heat?

Hein: Bah, fire isn’t even my weakness.

Kraken: Why does no one ever want to talk to me?

Gutsco: It is sometimes. You can’t even commit yourself to one element, no wonder you lost.

Hein: Why I ought to–

Land Turtle: Calm down! Fighting will get you no where, and besides we can’t even fight here. Do you have anything to say about this, Djinn?

Djinn: *sitting in a corner with his head down* Nope, I just hope one of the other bosses takes those kids down.

Land Turtle: Don’t worry. They could never defeat the final boss. They are too impatient. The Light Warriors are trying to progress through the game too quickly and won’t take the time to level up as necessary.

Djinn: You’re right. *quickly stands up* You’re right! They are rushing things! The bosses are getting defeated too fast! They aren’t getting the experience necessary to stand a chance against the Cloud of Darkness!

*A few hours later*

Djinn: So, you got beat to?

Cloud of Darkness: Yes.

Djinn: That stinks.

Cloud of Darkness: Yes.

*Meanwhile*

Luneth: We will never forget your kindness or deeds.

Sean: Yes you will.

Luneth: Huh?

Void: None of this is real. You and your entire world are going to cease to exist.

Luneth: When will this occur? How long do I have to save my world?

Void: You can’t do anything.

Sean: The game ends now.

*There is another flash of light and the C:IA find themselves back in the room next to the sparking, damaged machine that Sean electrocuted*

Void: Now that we’re finished, can everyone clear out and let me work?

Sean: Yeah, Void and I need to fix this machine and then finish everything else the system needs.

Void: Actually, while I appreciate the help, I’d rather not get stuck playing a video game for several hours. Why don’t you go out somewhere else until I finish so nothing else gets electrocuted?

Sean: Not my fault, but fine. *sticks his hand into the broken machine and pulls out his Nintendo DS* I’ll just go back to playing the game the way it was meant to be played.

Void: Fine.

Sean: *starts to walk away and stops* What? The game got glitched by that mess! I need to buy a new copy now.

Shadowstrike: Well, it could be worse.

Sean: *immediately shocked and drops his DS that breaks upon hitting the floor* I really need to find a way to remove this curse.

Shadowstrike: Sorry.

The End

What in the World Happened? (Series 3 Prologue)

July 28, 2014

*Written by Rebel4000*

*On the Island Attackers new flying base, the Whale King…*

Rebel: I think a small recap of the last few events that took place is in order.

Dark Knight: What? Why?

Void: That’s right… you and Metabad haven’t heard the whole story of what has recently happened to us.

Metabad: We didn’t? Dude, that doesn’t really rawk.

Dark Knight: All right. Enlighten us, Rebel.

Rebel: Okay, first off, we have a big problem on our hands. His name is Anti-Majin.

Metabad: Majin?

Rebel: No, no, ANTI-Majin.

Majin: He’s the exact opposite of everything that I am, basically.

Metabad: Oh.

Dark Knight: Hmm, a being who is the exact opposite of yourself…

Rebel: Anyway, he has teamed up with a monstrosity known as Frankenploid–

Void: Hey! I know he tried to kill us all on more than one occasion, but I don’t believe that gives you any right to call–

Rebel: Shut up. *to everyone else* Void made him.

Shadowstrike: You bastard!

Void: Thanks… I guess. *glances around*

Dark Knight: Okay, okay, so let me get this straight so far: A guy who is the exact opposite of Majin, called Anti-Majin, teamed up with a reploid built by Void named Frankenploid, right?

Sean: From what I’ve heard, yes.

Metabad: What do you mean, from what you heard? YOU WERE THERE RIGHT?!

Rebel: I’m gettin’ to that! *clears throat* Okay, so Anti also called the service of some punk named Ryouga… don’t know much about him, ‘cept I don’t like him. Together the three of them fought and defeated us, destroyed our former base, and killed three of our previous members.

Sean: I’m like you guys… new to the team. Although my joining was more of a freak accident*.

*See Series 2, Epilogue #20 “Beasts of Metal and Lightning”

Outlaw: We will never forget what they did to our former friends and teammates.

Shadowstrike: Yeah…

*The room is silent for a moment.*

Metabad: Damn. That really doesn’t rawk.

Void: You just had to ruin the moment, didn’t you?

Metabad: I’M JUST TRYING TO MAKE THINGS RAWK!!

Rebel: Moving on… We decided to learn from our mistakes and that is why we are currently traveling across the globe. When the day that we have to face Anti comes, we will be ready.

Dark Knight: Hmm, I see. So that’s what happened. Just how strong is this Anti-Majin fellow anyway?

Majin: Frighteningly strong. In fact I’m afraid it is probably just beginning…

Shadowstrike: What do you mean, “it is probably just beginning?”

Majin: Now that Anti has removed those he deems as a threat out of the way, what do you think his next goal will be?

Outlaw: The world?

Majin: Yep.

Metabad: But I neeeeeeeeeeed the world! How am I gonna rawk without it?

Dark Knight: *readies a Bubble Splash* I can help rectify that matter.

Metabad: Nuuuuuuuuu. ;_;

*As Metabad rawks his way out of the situation, the rest are going over some other minor details…*

Rebel: So how would Anti try to take over the world?

Void: Even if he did manage to beat us, I doubt that would suddenly crown him ruler of everything.

Majin: I’m not certain… but we’ve got to stop him before it’s too late!

Sean: So I guess it’s settled. We will gain experience and then defeat Anti once and for all.

Shadowstrike: As a team!

Metabad: THE BUBBLES ARE EATING MY RAWKSOMENESS!!

Dark Knight: This’ll be over soon! Mwahahahahah!!

Rebel: Team. Right. Whatever.

Outlaw: You okay there, boss bug?

Rebel: Just trying to figure out when this dumb prologue will end. Everyone go do some stupid stuff like you usually do!

Majin: Actually a beer sounds pretty good right now… *leaves*

Metabad: THIS GUYS MAKEN ME MAD ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *plows into Dark Knight*

Dark Knight: *goes straight through the wall*

Shadowstrike: I need to go watch this…

Sean: Then I suppose I’ll pilot the Zoid.

Shadowstrike: Oh no you don’t! *chases after Sean*

Outlaw: Uh… guess I’ll go cook. Heh, maybe I’ll get Majin to help me since he’s in the kitchen. *leaves*

*In a few short moments, the only ones that are left is Void and Rebel.*

Void: …You know, for once it wouldn’t hurt to be partially serious without some stupid jokes.

Rebel: Ah, but then I wouldn’t be me.

Void: True. So what now?

Rebel: Not exactly sure. I only know one thing right now–I want revenge on Anti and I aim to have it. *pauses slightly* Anyway, I’m going to go stop Outlaw from poisoning us while I grab a Coke. See ya. *disappears*

Void: Yeah, see you… *flies to his lab* I feel that the team is starting to change because of Anti. If that is good or bad, though, I’m not so certain…

The End

Dissed in the Digital World (Part 6)

July 22, 2014

*Written by Rebel4000 and Shadowstrike*

*The two opposing teams, Alpha Movement and Code: Island Attackers, were still attacking one another relentlessely, with neither Reploid nor Digimon showing any signs of stopping. The battle quickly turned into a fight for survival.*

Rebel: *sneaking around in the smoke* (All I have to do is get close to this guy and latch my tail onto him… after that it’ll be easy pick–) What!? *notices he has a tentacle wrapped around his leg*

Jade: Got you!

*Rebel is quickly dragged over to Jade*

Rebel: How in the world did you find me?

Jade: You aren’t as sneaky as you think you are, Rebel. You’ve still got a long ways to go before you can call yourself a true ninja.

Rebel: Is that so? *disappears*

Jade: Drat! I forgot that he could do that. Well, he’s gotta be around here somewhere… *uses his tentacles again*

*Elsewhere, the two Dark Knight’s were continuing their battle…*

Dark Knight: *Blade caught inbetween pincers* …Hmph! Not bad.

DK: I could say the same…

*DK pushes forward, knocking Dark Knight’s sabre out of his hands and onto the floor behind him. Dark Knight merely glances back for a moment before letting out a small laugh.*

DK: What’s so funny?

Dark Knight: Honestly, I can’t believe I am having difficulty in terminating such a puny looking Reploid. Obviously I must have grown careless. Then again… *leaps back and picks his sabre up* I suppose it might more than a coincidence that we share the same name!

DK: There can only be one Dark Knight in this world–there’s just not enough room! *lunges with the pincers*

Dark Knight: I couldn’t agree more! *charges*

*During Anime Master and Metabad’s battle*

AM: Quit following me around!

Metabad: WHY THOUGH I’M TRYING SO HARD TO RAWK!!

AM: Exactly. So leave me… *smacks Metabad with his trunk* …alone!

Metabad: I’VE GOTTA RAAAAAAAAAAWK… *goes flying into the distance*

*The Digimon, too, were continuing their battle of epic proportions…*

Taomon: Don’t let up! Hit them with everything we’ve got! *dodges a blast*

Grademon: Hey, hey! I’m the leader of the CIA’s Digimon so I should be saying that! *gets hit*

Hisharyuumon: The Alpha Movement will prevail! Seiryuu Jin! *morphs into a giant blade and attacks*

MegaSeadramon: Don’t think so! *grabs the blade with his mouth and throws it*

Garudamon: Take cover! *takes to the skies to avoid the blade*

GrappLeomon, Tankdramon, Sagittarimon, Vamdemon, and Shawujinmon Ahh!! *is hit by the blade*

Lilamon: I won’t let you hurt Dark Knight!

Lillymon: No, I won’t let you hurt Dark Knight!

Lilamon: That’s what I just said!

Lillymon: Mine is more correct!

*They both attack each other at the same, flying backwards. Meanwhile, inside the ship…*

Barbamon: It certainly is a wonderful thing seeing our enemies fight amongst one another. And here I thought we would have to get our hands messy.

iX: *to himself* Not like it ain’t a bad thing…

Leviamon: Enough pointless banter. Let’s find that emerald!

iX: Do we even know if that thing is here? The only reason why we came here was because Mr. Big Bucks over there wanted to.

Trump: Do you dare doubt the power of the dollar?

Lilithmon: Enough you two. I can sense it… there is an emerald here. Can’t you as well, Barbramon?

Barbamon: Yes… so let’s hurry and find it.

Trump: If I know those Island Attackers, that Morph Moth must have studied it out of his scientific nature. We should find his lab and start there.

Eggman: Leave it to me. I know a lab when I see one!

*The villains follow Eggman down a corridor until he stopps at a door and opens it. Certainly enough, it was Void’s lab.*

iX: Not bad, gramps. How’d you figure it out?

Eggman: There was a sign on the door.

iX: *smacks self*

Leviamon: Then let’s start looking! *smashes a cabinet open*

Eggman: Quiet! What if someone heard you?

Barbamon: With all of those fools out there beating one another up, I highly doubt it.

Lilithmon: Still, Leviamon, be a bit more careful.

Leviamon: Right, right…

*They check every single nook and cranny in the laboratory. Unfortunately, the elusive emerald could not be found.*

iX: Gah, I’m tired of looking! I give up!!

Eggman: You’re going to give up, just like that? Surely we were just mistaken of where it could possibly be, correct?

Trump: *thinking* …Check Rebel’s room. That could be the only other place.

Leviamon: This is pointless! Why would such an important emerald just be lying in someone’s room? Lilithmon, are you sure you sensed it?

Lilithmon: …Yes. Let’s check the leader’s room.

*As they walk outside the lab they notice a someone walking down the hallway. It was a black hedgehog holding three emeralds.*

Shadow: Hah, that was far too easy. These fools need to stop leaving their emeralds left unguarded… Not like I’m complaining, though.

Eggman: *chokes* I-it’s him! Shadow the Hedgehog!

Lilithmon, Barbramon, Leviamon: What!?

Shadow: *whirls around* Who’s there? *sees Eggman* Eggman! What are you doing here!?

Eggman: *smiles evily* Hohohoh… Shadow… what impeccable timing! We’ve been looking for you quite a while, see, and I…

Barbamon: You have the last three emeralds! Give them to me!

Shadow: You think I’m just gonna give them to you? Think again.

*Shadow uses Chaos Control and bolts down the hallway, leaving the villains stuck in place, incapable of doing anything. After a minute or so passed, they were able to move freely.*

Eggman: Curses! He’s gotten away!

Barbamon: A tenacious cockroach…

Lilithmon: And like all cockroaches, he needs to be squashed…

iX: Let’s kick his ass!

*Back to the clash of two teams…*

Seadragon: *notices Shadow right behind him* Hey, you’re pretty fast!

Shadowstrike: Faster than you! *jumps into the air and fires off a couple Sonic Slicers*

Seadragon: *weaves through the barrage* Hah, is that all you’ve got? *spins around and fires a Storm Tornado*

Shadowstrike: *is thrown backwards* Waaah!!

*Meanwhile…*

Brick: I’VE GOTTA GET THIS CRAZY DRUNK SETTLED DOWN!!

Majin: ROROROROROROR *bites Brick*

Brick: HE’S BITTEN ME!! I’VE GOT RABIES I TELL YOU!! RABIES!! *runs around flailing his arms*

Majin: *howls*

*With Spark and Outlaw…*

Spark: You may have taken my arm, but I’ll make sure to take your life by the time I’m through!

Outlaw: …Bring it.

Spark: *punches the ground* Electric Spark! *electricity surges toward Outlaw*

Outlaw: Don’t think so!

*Outlaw jumps into the air and starts to spin rapidly toward Spark, diminishing the electricity on the way. As Outlaw nears the surprised AM member, Spark grabs Outlaw with his one hand, feeling his hand slowly break off as Outlaw screeches to a stop, before getting thrown off in another direction.*

Outlaw: Ahhhh!!

Spark: Damn, he’s almost completely crippled me… doesn’t look good…

*As Spark tended his wounds, Sean and Darksage were continuing their epic battle…*

Darksage: So, everyime someone says “It could be worse” you get shocked?

Sean: *shocked* …Yes.

Darksage: I suppose it could always be worse, then, eh?

Sean: *shocked* Stop saying that!

Darksage: Well, it could be worse, I’m afraid.

Sean: *shocked again* (Actually… he’s right.)

*With Sean reaching this shocking conclusion, Void and Blackbelt were making some conclusions of their own…*

Void: I am telling you, Newton’s theory on gravitational pull is completely sound. There are hardly any faults in it!

Blackbelt: That is where you are wrong. Words such as “hardly” just doesn’t cut it in the world of science! That is why it’s still considered a theory.

Void: Blasphemy! And I suppose you have something better?

Blackbelt: Actually, I do. Now listen, gravity is all caused by… *sees Shadow behind Void* …Chaos Emeralds?

Void: Gravitational pull is caused by Chaos Emeralds?

Blackbelt: No, that Shadow guy has three of them! *points*

Void: *turns around* You’re right! One of them was one we found, too!

Blackbelt: And those other two belonged to us! The thief!

Void: …Temporary truce?

Blackbelt: Deal.

*The two Reploids shake hands as they face a common adversary.*

Blackbelt: Now… LET’S KICK HIS ASS!!

Void: Charge!! *fires out a web of silk*

Shadow: *is ensnared* What’s going on here!?

Blackbelt: *curls up into a ball and rams into Shadow*

Shadow: *goes flying off the ship* MARIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH…

Blackbelt: All right! Now, I’ll be taking these… *reaches for the emeralds, only to be blocked off*

Void: No, I’ll be taking them! They must be studied in the name of science!

Blackbelt: Wrong! They must be studied in the name of the Maverick Virus!

Void: I guess the truce is off, then…

Seadragon: Move outta the way! *zooms by, taking the emeralds*

Blackbelt: Way to go, SD!

Void: No!

Seadragon: Now, I’ve just gotta take these emeralds to a safe location–

Shadowstrike: Don’t think so! *grabs SD by the feet, yanking him backwards*

Seadragon: Ack! You again!

Shadowstrike: I’ll be taking these. *takes the emeralds and throws SD back*

Seadragon: Nooo!! *crashes into the ground*

Shadowstrike: I’m gonna make it!!

Spark: Don’t think so, kid!

*Using what’s left of his remaining hand, Spark rips off a large piece metal off the top of the ship and flings it toward Shadowstrike, hitting him in the side, causing the emeralds to go flying out of his hands.*

Jade: I’ve got it! *grabs them with his tentacles*

Rebel: *sneaks up behind Jade and takes the emeralds* No, I’ve got it!

Darksage: *steals the emeralds with his tongue* You’re not the only one who can disappear!

*Immediately Darksage blends in with the ship, and slithers over to the opposite side. As soon as reappears, however, Outlaw goes right through the flooring beneath him to grab the emeralds with his mouth.*

Outlaw: *mouth full* This ship tastes like an actual whale!

Dark Knight: No one cares, fang face!! *zips by and takes the emeralds*

Outlaw: Wha!?

Dark Knight: Now that we have gotten back what was rightfully ours, we can resume this petty battle… *starts to slow down* Hold on a moment… why am I slowing down?

Sean: *using his powers* Someone, quick, catch him!

Metabad: RAWKIN CATCH!! *tackles Dark Knight, sliding into DK*

DK: *jumps on top of the two* We’ve got the faker!

AM: I don’t think so! *slathers their path full of oil*

Metabad, Dark Knight, DK: Whoa!! *spins out of control*

Brick: THE RABIES!! I’M FOAMING AT THE MOUTH HERE!! *is plowed into*

Dark Knight: *lets go of the emeralds* Nooo!!

*Everyone watches as the emeralds go flying up into the air once more. As they continue moving forward, they all see that they are heading toward Majin.*

Rebel: Majin!!

Void: Get the emeralds!!

Jade: No, stop him!!

Blackbelt: We can’t let him take them from us!!

Majin: why do the sparklies sparkle???

DK: You stupid drunk!

Dark Knight: *advancing* Keep acting stupid!

Majin: THEY HURT ME EYES

*At that moment, Majin pulled out a Strike Chain and hit the emeralds with it, making them get sent back. The emeralds fly over the heads of all the members as they watch in shock, until it lands at the feet of a particular group as a man bends over to grab them. Everyone, including the Digimon, who had been so preoccupied beating one another up, stop to look at the intruders.*

Barbamon: *holding the emeralds* …And with this we have all seven…

Leviamon: And it’s all thanks to you fools!

Void: Wait a tick, just what in the world is going on here?

iX: You would like to know that, wouldn’t ya!?

Seadragon: iX!?

Blackbelt: What are you doing here… and Eggman too!

Eggman: Hohoho… you honestly didn’t think that our last encounter would be the end, would it?

Rebel: Of all the damn… Trump too!?

Trump: So we meet again, Island Attackers. I hope you are ready to be fired from your duty as heroes.

Majin: lol wut

Darksage: All right, just what in the world is going on here?

Barbamon: It’s all very simple… we are a part of the Seven Great Demon Lords, and together we have come together to search for the Chaos Emeralds in hope of ruling a dimension!

Void: “A” dimension?

Leviamon: There are hundreds of thousands of dimensions. With the power of the Chaos Emeralds, traveling to them is an easy matter!

Lilithmon: And we have plenty to choose from because of this… a new dimension for us to dominate!

Eggman: That is why we were gathered together. We were promised that if we assisted them we would be able to rule this dimension for ourselves.

Trump: As you know, Island Attackers, what you have done to me has ruined my public image. This was by far the best option after the Demon Lords busted me out of jail.

iX: But who cares–we’ve got asses to kick!

GrappLeomon: Hold!

Grademon: *Crossing blades and standing in front of Rebel* We can’t let you do that.

Leviamon: You puny ultimates? You are nothing to us! You won’t even scratch us.

Hisharyuumon: We have to at least try. Evil such as you should not be allowed to exist.

Barbamon: Trying is what will get weaklings killed! Crimson Flame! *Barbamon raises his Staff as hellish flames engulf the digimon of the two teams*

Shawujinmon: Waterfall Formation! *spins his staff causing a tornado of water to douse the flames around the 16 Ultimates, then sending the tornado towards Lliithmon.*

Leviamon: *swings his tail, destroying the Tornado, and sends Shaujinmon flying into the wall behind him.*

GrappLeomon: Turbine Kick! *tries to kick Lillithmon, only to be slashed by her Nazer Nail*

MagnaAngemon: My blade can destroy any evil soul! Excalibur! *goes to slash Barbamon, but fails as he catches the blade in his bare hand* Wha! *Barbamon snaps the blade in half and blasts MagnaAngemon into the wall using Pandemonium Lost*

Tankdramon: Gattling Blast! *Fires 3600 missles at Leviamon, at point blank range* Now I’ve got you!

Leviamon: *Each missles hits him, but is unphased* No, you didn’t. Cauda! *He slams his tail on the ground, causing a massive jet of water to slam into TankDramon*

Taomon: Talisman of Light! *uses her brush to draw a symbol, which blasts Lillithmon, but has no effect.*

Lilithmon: You really must try harder, one would think you’re not even trying! *stabs Taomon with her claw, then throws her to the side*

Sagittarimon: You want something tougher? Take this, Judgement Arrow! *fires a three pronged arrow at Lilithmon*

Lilithmon: *dodges the arrow* You call that tough? I’ve seen far better! *slashes Sagittarimon with her claw* Phantom Pain! *spews the deadly mist on his wound*

Sagittarimon: The mist! It… burns… *collapses*

Lillymon: *flies up above Barbamon* Time for you for to fall! Flower Cannon! *Summons a flower bulb and fires a blast of energy at Barbamon*

Barbamon: Pandimonium Flare! *The flame engulfs the small blast of energy, until it slams into Lillymon, who falls to the ground ablaze.*

Lilamon: Lilac Dagger! *Forming a dagger in her arm, she tries to sever lillithmon’s clawed hand, only to be slashed by it, then kicked to the wall*

Raidramon: MegaSeadramon, lets try to a double attack.

MegaSeadramon: All right. Thunder Javelin!

Raidramon: Blue Thunder! *The two electric based attacks fuse to form a massive lightning bolt. The bolt slams into Leviamon, who winces slightly*

Leviamon: Admirable effort, but still not enough. Cauda!

*He again bashes his tail into the ground, causing another torrent of water to form, this time smashing into MegaSeadramon and Raidramon, sending them crashing into the wall and still continued to blast them.*

Vamdemon: Bloody Stream! *he throws his blood red energy whip at Lillithmon * Time for you to suffer!

Lilithmon: *The energy whip crashes into her, but does nothing.* Your power is weak for one who could have so much more. *around her, the whip turns a deep shade of purple, and slowly creeps up Vamdemon. The purple crashes into him, overloading his systems with a virus.*

Cyberdramon: Grrrr…Cyber Nail! *jumps on Leviamon’s back, clawing madly at his back.*

Metabad: NOW THAT’S HOW YOU RAWK!

Leviamon: Annoying pest. *rolls over on his back, crushing Cyberdramon onto the ground.*

Metabad: …Never mind.

Garudamon: Wing Blade! *The giant bird fires a giant bird of flame, and has it fly right at Barbamon*

MetalGreymon X: Giga Blaster! *fires two huge missles at Barbamon*

Barbamon: Hmph. *appears behind MetalGreymon X and kicks him into his own missles, then soon appears behind Garudamon and throws her into her own flames*

Hisharyuumon: *transforms into a blade yet again* Grademon, we are the only one’s left.

Grademon: We can’t give up! *grabs the massive blade and charges towards Barbamon*

Barbamon: Your allies have fallen, why do you continue to fight?

Grademon: I have to, if I don’t no one will! *slashes at Barbamon, only for Barbaman to blast the blade, causing it fly out of his hand, and send Hisharyuumon flying towards the wall.*

Lilithmon: *slashes at Grademon* Your finished!

Grademon: *blocks with his twin blades* No I’m not! Grade Slash! *Slashes Lillithmon, to no effect, who backhands him into Leviamon, who slams Grademon with his tail*

Leviamon: That was tiresome, now let- *He stops as Grademon gets up* You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re finished. Just stay down.

Grademon: I won’t let you win. I can’t! I WON’T! *a light flares up out of him, covering him and the 7 other digimon of his team in it.* DIGIVOLVE!

*The light dies down, and in Grademon’s place, is Alphamon, Legendary leader of the Royal Knights. Next to him stands Gaiomon, MetalGreymonX’s digivolved form.On the other side of Alphamon, is Justimon, the mega form of Cyberdramon, In the air above them hovers Magnamon, Sakuyamon, Seraphimon, and Rosemon, the mega formns of Raidramon, Taomon, MagnaAngemon, and Lilamon respectfully. Behind them all coils the massive form that is MetalSeadramon, the mega form of MegaSeadramon.*

Alphamon: You are all going down.

Leviamon: What is this!?

Lilithmon: It… it can’t be…

Barbamon: Alphamon!? How is it possible for a Royal Knight to be hidden amongst such weak Digimon!?

Magnamon: Don’t forget about me, either!

Lilithmon: *to Barbamon and Leviamon* That makes two… more than enough to match us three with their other partners.

Hisharyuumon: …That’s it! Look at those Demon Lords… they’re on the defensive now!

Vamdemon: Are you saying what I believe you are saying?

Hisharyuumon: Yes… we must Digivolve now!

Tankdramon: But what about the power of the Maverick Virus?

Garudamon: We cannot rely on it at this point… we must defeat our enemies!

Shawujinmon: He’s right! Let’s do this!

Hisharyuumon: DIGIVOLVE!!

*Another blast of light covers the Alpha Movement’s Digimon, causing them to Digivolve. At the front is Ouryuumon, the digivolved form of Hisharyuumon. Behind him stand Rosemon, Hououmon, BanchouLeomon, Darkdramon, Zanbamon, VenomVamdemon, and JumboGamemon, the digivolved forms of Lillymon, Garudamon, GrappLeomon, Tankdramon, Sagittarimon, Vamdemon, and Shawujinmon respectively. They all stand right next to the CIA’s Digimon, tall and proud.*

Lilithmon: Them as well!?

Leviamon: They are all at the Mega level… what should we do?

Barbamon: Heheheh… do not forget my comrades, we have the power of the Chaos Emeralds. There is no way we can lose!

Sakuyamon: If that’s how you feel, then prepare to be terminated. Amethyst Wind!!

*Sakuyamon creates a powerful gust of wind that flings hundreds of purple shards at the Demon Lords. Immediately all three of them move out of the way, seemingly dodging the fatal attack. To a trained eye, however, they were actually littered with cuts all over.*

Lilithmon: Grrr… you wench! You will pay for that! *lunges at Sakuyamon with her Nazer Claw*

Rosemon: Rosy Cradle! *grabs Lilithmon and flips her over on her back*

Rosemon: Ivy Hug! *multiple vines sprout and wrap themselves around Lilithmon*

Lilithmon: W-what is this!?

Sakuyamon: You’re own demise. *jumps into the air and performs a Spirit Kick, straight at Lilithmon’s head*

Lilithmon: NOOOOOOO!! *tears out of vines and grabs Sakuyamon by the foot, shoving her back* You stupid Digimon! I am a Demon Lord–you three are nothing! You stand no chance of defeating me!

Rosemon: Perhaps you are right.

Rosemon: Then again, maybe you aren’t.

Lilithmon: What did you say!?

Magnamon: I believe she said, “You lose.”

Lilithmon: *turns and faces Magnamon* …You. “Royal” Knight. You dare to challenge me?

Magnamon: It’s a tempting offer, but I didn’t want to ruin this cat fight. *smirks*

Lilithmon: Hmph! Please humor me.

Magnamon: Very well. Magna Blaster!! *fires a few energy bullets*

Lilithmon: *dodges the bullets* Nazer Nail!

Magnamon: *blocks the claw with his gauntlet, feeling the poison eat at his armor*

Lilithmon: *lets go* Phantom Pain!! *spews mist*

Magnamon: *jumps to the side* Magna Kick!

Lilithmon: *is kicked in the side and goes flying back* You… will pay for this. *gets back up*

Magnamon: The only one who is going to pay is yourself!

Lilithmon: It appears I should stop going easy on you. Very well. Prepare to feel my true might… Darkness Love!

Magnamon: Not if I can help it! Magna Explosion!

*In a brilliant dispay Magnamon unleashes a powerful energy wave from his body, which collides into Lilithmon’s attack. The two attacks lock in place, each trying to overwhelm the other, until the Magna Explosion breaks through and strikes Lilithmon dead-on, causing her to scream in pain until she turns into data and disappears.*

Magnamon: …Whew. That was tough.

Sakuyamon: No time for relaxing, Magnamon. We’ve got work to do.

Magnamon: Right!

*Over with Leviamon and the other CIA and AM Digimon…*

Leviamon: So, now all of you are Mega. Does this mean I will finally get a worthy challenge?

Gaiomon: If you mean us earning our payback, then yes.

Leviamon: Hahah… Fool! I will tear you apart and eat you myself!

Seraphimon: In the name of all that is holy, we will purge your viral form from this world! Strike of the Seven Stars! *fires seven holy orbs at Leviamon*

Leviamon: *takes the attack head on* Oof!! No… no!! Not a seraph! Anything but that!

Seraphimon: I see that my mere presense frightens you.

Hououmon: That is our advantage! Let’s get him! Crimson Flames!

Gaiomon: Rinkageki!

*The combined attacks strike Leviamon as he attempts to run away from the imposing form of Seraphimon.*

Leviamon: N-no fair… Get away from me!! Cauda!! *slams his tail on the ground, causing the entire ship to shake violently along with water spraying everywhere*

Seraphimon: W-what are you doing!?

Gaiomon: He’s going crazy! At this rate he’ll crack the ship open like an egg!

Hououmon: Let us hurry!

*The three Digimon advance toward him but are knocked back by Leviamon’s rampage.*

Ouryuumon: Allow me to assist you!

VenomVamdemon: And I as well!

MetalSeadramon: Don’t forget about me!

*The three large Digimon wrestle with Leviamon, holding him down*

Leviamon: L-let me go!!

MetalSeadramon: Quiet.

Ouryuumon: *struggling* Seraphimon, now!!

Seraphimon: Right! Hallowed Ascension! *summons a powerful bolt of lightning to crash right on top of Leviamon*

Leviamon: IT BURNS!!

Ouryuumon: And now to finish this–Eiseiryuuoujin!! *stabs Leviamon in the head with both of his blades*

Leviamon: AHHHHHHH!! *erupts into data and scatters*

VenomVamdemon: Now, let us destroy the rest of these pathetic fools.

Everyone else: Right!

*Finally, at the site of the final battle stood Barbamon and Alphamon and his companions.*

Barbamon: So, Alphamon… to think that the two of us would have a face off.

Justimon: Hey, what about us!?

JumboGamemon: If you think we are just going to stand back and watch you two fight, then you are sadly mistaken!

Alphamon: Unfortunately, he is right. I want you all to stand back and let me handle this.

Darkdramon: What? Why!?

Zanbamon: Bah! Don’t listen to this guy! Besides, we aren’t even on the same team!

BanchouLeomon: Wait. Can you not see it? This is what they call… destiny.

Justimon: Destiny?

BanchouLeomon: Yes… they were destined for this. Just the two of them. We cannot interfere.

Darkdramon and Zanbamon: …Very well.

Justimon: All right, then. Alphamon, as much as I’d love to help, it seems like everything rests on your shoulders. Sorry.

Alphamon: Don’t worry about it. Now… *summons his legendary sword, Gradalpha*

Barbamon: Heheheh… Destiny may be correct… after all… Alphamon is to forever rule over the empty seat. Why is it now that you appear?

Alphamon: Because not only is the Digital World in danger, but every dimension in existance.

Barbamon: How true! But enough idle chitchat. It is time for you to die! Crimson Flame!

Alphamon: *deflects the spell with his sword* Yaaaaaaaah!! *swings his sword*

Barbamon: *blocks it with his staff, which snaps from the pressure* My staff!

Alphamon: Digitalize of Soul! *fires multiple green rings from his hand*

Barbamon: *hit full force* Ack!! I don’t believe it… The battle has hardly started and yet you already have the upper hand.

Alphamon: Did you assume otherwise?

Barbamon: Not at all… but I refuse to accept this as “destiny”. Prepare to face my true might! Pandemonium Lost!

Alphamon: What!? *is suddenly caught in a violent explosion*

Justimon: Alphamon!!

Zanbamon: He’s dead already!?

Barbamon: Bwahahahahah!! Die you fool! Go back to the Digital World as a pathetic Digi Egg! Hahah!!

*As the dust clears, a sword flies by as it stabs Barbamon in the chest, causing him to scream as he stebs back, clutching the mighty weapon with his hands until he pulls it out, severly wounded.*

Barbamon: Impossible…!!

Alphamon: *reappears* But it is.

Barbamon: *falls to his knees, and with a shudder, turns into data and scatters*

BanchouLeomon: He did it!

Darkdramon: All right!

Rebel: HECK YEAH!! Way to go, Alphamon! And to think I doubted you just because you were slow in digivolving to your Rookie form… I’m not worthy!

Metabad: AND D00D JUSTIMON EVEN THOUGH YOU DIDN’T FIGHT AT ALL YOU HELPED ADD TO THE RAWKSOMENESS BY LIKE 15 TIMES!! *rawks*

Justimon: *sighs*

Ouryuumon: Is it over?

Jade: Ouryuumon! Did you and the others take care of Leviamon and Lilithmon?

Magnamon: Pretty much. Everything is practically wrapped up.

Sakuyamon: And the good news is is that the Chaos Emeralds are now in safe hands.

Void and Blackbelt: What a relief… Eh? *stares at each other before turning away*

Shadowstrike: So in the end Veemon was also a part of the Royal Knights. Sweet!

Majin: PATTY HELP BEAT BIG CROCO THING!!!

Outlaw: Hey, now, don’t be trying to use those words so lightly, ‘kay?

Spark: *arm duct taped back on* So what now? Do we continue fighting?

Dark Knight: Yes! *faces DK* I will show you who the real Dark Knight is!

DK: Oh, really?

Seadragon: *ignoring them* Things seem pretty peaceful now…

Sean: Yeah. Sure hope it stays like this.

Trump: I hope you idiots didn’t forget about us.

Sean: DAMNIT!!

*The CIA and AM turn to face Trump, Eggman, and iX.*

Eggman: I honestly can’t believe that you defeated the Demon Lords. But we will still be taking the prize! *pulls out a vacuum*

Brick: What the heck is that!?

Eggman: It’s the Egg Sucker!

*Everyone bursts out laughing.*

Eggman: What!?

Void: Egg Sucker? How original.

Rebel: Says the guy who made Frankenploid.

Void: Quiet you.

iX: Seriously, I’m with them. Come up with better names!

Eggman: Grrr…

Darksage: Okay, so what does this thing do?

Eggman: I’ll show you! *presses a button and a vacuum activates, pulling the Chaos Emeralds into the device*

Blackbelt: H-hey!

AM: He’s got the emeralds!

iX: *takes them out and holds them* We’re gonna rule the universe now!

Jade: It’s a fight then! Let’s go Alpha Movement!

Rebel: CIA… ATTACK!!!

Barbamon: *reforms* Hohoho… not so fast…

Everyone else: Huh!?

Leviamon: *reforms* We will not be defeated…

Lilithmon: *reforms* Especially by you!

Trump: Do you see now, fools? The Demon Lords are unstoppable. Isn’t that correct, Barbamon?

Barbamon: …

Leviamon: Barbamon?

Barbamon: …Chaos Emeralds! I beckon you! Come to me!

iX: What the…? *the emeralds fly away*

Barbamon: *holding them* With this… HAH!! *blasts Leviamon and Lilithmon*

Leviamon and Lilithmon: AHH!! *has holes ripped through them*

Dark Knight: Holy Hell!!

DK: You can say that again!

Seraphimon: Everyone… stay on guard!

Lilithmon: Barbamon… why…?

Barbamon: My dear Lilithmon, I am doing this for the sake of our goal. It is only natural to have some sacrifices along the way.

Leviamon: Y-you… tricked us…

Barbamon: Now… with the power of these emeralds…

*The seven emeralds glow simultaneously, circling around Barbamon. Instantly Lilithmon and Leviamon scream as they are reduced to bits of data that encases Barbamon’s form, until his body glows as brightly as the emeralds. Slowly his body shifts, transforming into a horrible monster…*

Eggman: T-this is too much… even for the world! *hops into his floating pod and takes off*

iX: Hey! Old man! Wait for me! *latches onto the back of the pod*

Trump: You fools! Don’t leave me behind! *chases after but is caught* What!?

Rebel: *pulls him back with his tail* Hey, Trump… stick around for a bit. The show is just about to start.

Trump: Magna Centipede… you are a fool. We will all die!

Rebel: No, we won’t! Right, Alphamon?

Alphamon: Right! Everyone… let’s do this!

Everyone else: Right!

Barbamon: Y-you will al-all… EVERYTHING WILL DIE!!

*In a flash of light takes place, followed by perpetual darkness as Barbamon’s transformation is completed.*

Sakuyamon: It’s…

JumboGamemon: It’s monstrous…

Magnamon: Don’t back away now!

Gaiomon: So, this is his true form…

GranDracmon: That is correct. I am now a true Lord of Demons… GranDracmon!

Ouryuumon: This is it. We cannot lose!

GranDracmon: You cannot lose? I am afraid you are wrong. With this new power I will rule every single dimension! Only me!

MetalSeadramon: We won’t let you! Let’s get this freak!

Gaiomon: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! *swings his swords*

GranDracmon: *grabs his swords and breaks them, and then knocks him out of the way*

Justimon: Justice Kick! *makes contact but has no effect*

GranDracmon: An eye for an eye… *turns around and kicks Justimon with his hind legs* And a kick for a kick!

Justimon: Oof!!

Darkdramon: Giga Rour!

Zanbamon: Mystic Flame!

JumboGamemon: Megaton Hydro Laser!

GranDracmon: Three on three, eh? Allow me… *raises his arms* CRYSTAL REVOLUTION!!

Darkdramon, Zanbamon, JumboGamemon: Aghh!! *is covered with a crystalline ice*

BanchouLeomon: Hold on, friends! Lion King Advance!!

GranDracmon: Another target? Crystal Revolution! *encases BanchouLeomon in ice*

Alphamon: You fiend!

*The rest of the Digimon quickly gang up on GranDracmon but to no avail. As quickly as they come they are put down.*

GranDracmon: I grow tired of this nonsense… it is time to finish this.

VenomVamdemon: No!

GranDracmon: EYE OF THE GORGON!!

*All of the Digimon scream as GranDracmon gazes into their hearts, until they die down and stare blankly into space.*

Void: What’s going on?

Outlaw: They aren’t fighting back!

AM: I don’t know about you guys, but this doesn’t look good at all.

GranDracmon: Fools… Your Digimon have surrendered to the darkness. Nothing can save them.

Alphamon: Wrong!

GranDracmon: …You!!

Ouryuumon: And I as well.

GranDracmon: So two of you did not succumb to the darkness… such a pity.

Alphamon: Gradalpha! *lunges his sword at GranDracmon*

Ouryuumon: Eiseiryuuoujin!! *attacks*

GranDracmon: Crystal Revolution! *encases them in ice*

Rebel: No!!

GranDracmon: Now nothing can stop me… nothing! Hahah!!

Jade: It’s all over, then…

Void: Not so fast!

Blackbelt: What are you planning?

Void: We can still use the Chaos Emeralds.

Spark: Why in the world would we want to use those things?

Void: Don’t you guys get it? If Barbamon could use them to force himself to Digivolve, then we can do the same!

Majin: *sober* He’s right! We’ve gotta do this. Together.

Seadragon: You mean… *looks at Shadowstrike* As more than two seperate teams?

Shadowstrike: Yep.

Rebel: *takes some emeralds* Then it’s settled–We, Code: Island Attackers…

Jade: *takes the rest of the emeralds* And we, Alpha Movement…

Rebel and Jade: Shall work as one!!

*Together the Chaos Emeralds flash and Alphamon and Ouryuumon erupt from the crystalline ice. The two of them glow and merge into one being–Alphamon (Ultimate War Blade King Dragon).*

Ultimate Alphamon: GranDracmon!!

GranDracmon: What!? You again? …You seem different somehow…

Ultimate Alphamon: Yes, and with this new power, the might of the CIA and the AM will destroy you!

GranDracmon: Those two pathetic teams of Reploids? Don’t make me laugh. Now, get out of my way–I have several dimensions to conquer!

Ultimate Alphamon: Never!

GranDracmon: Then prepare to face the cold reality of the situation. Crystal Revolution!

Ultimate Alphamon: *dodges the attack* Ultimate War Blade King Dragon Sword!!

*Using his giant blade which was originally Ouryuumon, Alphamon flies right into GranDracmon, slicing him cleanly through his midsection, causing him to fall into two pieces. GranDracmon, in surprise, can only scream in pain.*

GranDracmon: Arrrrgh!! H-how… how can this be possible!? I am… a king…

Ultimate Alphamon: GranDracmon… for your heinous acts you have been sentenced death. Never again will you threaten the peace of this nor any other universe.

GranDracmon: N-never ag-gain? Hah… hahahah… HAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Ultimate Alphamon: What’s so funny?

GranDracmon: It’s you… d-do you honestly think that this is… th-the end? Th-there are others out there… others, wh-who will take this p-pathetic world and everything e-else for themselves… And then… w-we’ll see who really won!

Rebel: *to himself* Others… like Anti-Majin…

GranDracmon: Goodbye… for now… *turns into data and disappears*

Metabad: WE REALLY DID IT THIS TIME!! *rawks*

Darksage: Three cheers for the AM and CIA!

*Everyone cheers as the captured Digimon are freed. There is a small celebration over the battle won and the friendship made.*

Jade: Rebel, just so you know, we won’t fight you anymore.

Rebel: Really now?

Jade: Yeah, but it will be a pain to cover this up from Sigma… but we won’t let you worry about it.

Rebel: Thanks, Jade.

Jade: Don’t mention it.

Shadowstrike: Yo, Rebel, aren’t you forgetting something?

Rebel: What?

AM: *points to Donald Trump, sneaking off*

Rebel: Not so fast, Trump! *grabs with his tail*

Trump: Island Attackers and Alpha Movement… I see we are still alive.

Blackbelt: Spare us, dirtbag.

Trump: Just what do you plan on doing with me?

Void: Well, seeing as how you broke out of jail and assisted in trying to take over not only this but every other dimension out there…

Brick: You better enjoy a long time in the slammer: Again!

Rebel: Outlaw, take him to our cell room!

Outlaw: Right! *carries Trump off*

Trump: Curses! I’ll get you yet, Island Attackers… just you wait! And the Alpha Movement, too!

*As everyone laughs, a strange light comes down and the Digimon begin to fade.*

Sean: What’s going on?

Agumon X: Sorry, Sean.

Ryuudamon: We have to leave now.

Jade: What!? Why?

PicoDevimon: We believe that a lot of these problems as of late are all caused by us Digimon.

Dorumon: We think the world just isn’t ready for us… yet.

Majin: *cries*

Patamon: There, there, Majin. We’ll always be together.

Majin: Really?

Patamon: Yes, as long as you drink lots of this. *hands him a bottle of beer*

Majin: WOOHOO!! *chugs*

Elecmon: But yeah, it’s been real guys.

Piyomon: For real.

Veemon: Just remember how much I owned, okay?

Shadowstrike: Will do!

Brick: But… Kamemon, who will be my unwavering servant?

Kamemon: CAN IT YOU STUPID PENGUIN!!

Brick: WAAAAH KAMEMON DOESN’T LOVE ME ANYMORE!! *runs off crying*

Metabad: C’mon, Monodramon, let’s do a rawkin’ goodbye.

Monodramon: No. Now shut up.

Commandramon: Darksage, may you be successful always.

Darksage: What, you think I’m not? I predicted this predictable ending back when this predictable storyline first predictably started.

Commandramon: Then I have nothing to fear.

Betamon: Tell Outlaw I said bye, okay?

Void: We will–goodbye, you guys.

Renamon: Goodbye…

Bearmon: Until we meet again…

Palmon: DK, you be careful!

Lalamon: You too, DK!

Dark Knight and DK: WE WILL!!

*As the CIA and AM wave goodbye the Digimon vanish, presumably back in the Digital World. Shortly after Outlaw returned with Trump in a holding cell, the AM decided it was time to leave.*

Spark: I guess we should say sorry about the mess.

AM: We probably owe you one…

Rebel: Nah, you guys helped us destroy GranDracmon. If you weren’t here who knows what would have happened.

Jade: *put his hand on Rebel* Rebel, if you ever need us, just send the word. Hopefully it will get through.

Dark Knight: And you… I suppose that with everything ending on good terms we shall settle this dispute another day.

DK: Bring it–I’ll gladly end it!

Seadragon: All right, we’re finally done. We can leave at any time.

Jade: Then this is it.

Void: Yeah, it is.

Rebel: I would just like to say, to everyone out there, from Code: Island Attackers and Alpha Movement…

AM and CIA: It’s been a blast having you with us!

Dissed in the Digital World (Part 5)

July 15, 2014

*Written by Dark Knight*

*Aboard the Death Rogumer*

SEADRAGON: Laser cannons charged at maximum firepower and ready to blast that whale to…

JADE: No, wait!

SEADRAGON: What!?

JADE: Don’t fire!

AM: Aw, but I installed those new laser cannons yesterday! They are just like the ones of the Millenium Falcon!

BEARMON: Yeah, I want to see action! I want to see BLOOD!

EVERYONE ELSE: …

BEARMON: Sorry.

BLACKBELT: You better explain this.

JADE: They deserve a true fight.

RYUUDAMON: He’s right!

SEADRAGON: And why, if I may ask?

JADE: Well, they seem to be the other Mavericks who followed us in the first Maverick Rebellion.

AM: Such fond memories…

JADE: Do you remember them?

SEADRAGON: No.

BRICK: No.

DARKSAGE: No.

DARK KNIGHT: *doesn’t answer*

BLACKBELT: Well, you weren’t with us at that time, but yeah, I remember them.

SPARK: Wait a tick, aren’t they the Mavericks who weren’t good enough to be in the battlefront?

The sound of a window crashing is heard. Immediatly, a shoe hits Spark’s head.

REBEL: I HEARD YOU!!!!

ELECMON: Hehe…

DARKSAGE: Whatever… *falls asleep*

BLACKBELT: *thinking*

AM: *burps*

SEADRAGON: *slaps himself*

SPARK: *punches Brick in the face*

BRICK: Hey!

BLACKBELT: Why did you do that?

SPARK: Dunno, needed to do something.

JADE: So guys, you ready for a fight?

Everybody answer with a sonorous “Yeah!!!”, except Dark Knight and Darksage (who’s still sleeping).

JADE: Dark Knight, are you listening?

Dark Knight is in the corner, speaking something with Lilymon.

JADE: What are you two speaking about?

DARK KNIGHT: *shadowy* I’m telling her the story of the Guardian.

SEADRAGON: The what?

DARK KNIGHT: Did I say the story of the Guardian? I mean I was speaking how hard we will fight those guys.

LILYMON: *giggles*

SEADRAGON: …

JADE: *sighs* Anyway, it’s time for the showdown!

BRICK: So let’s go and kick some Hunter asses!

SPARK: Man, that’s the second time you said that in these crossover series! And they aren’t Hunters!

*CRASH*

BLACKBELT: What’s this, enemy fire?!

JADE: Nah, just the Fourth Wall breaking…

At the Whale King…

REBEL: OK, THAT’S IT!!

SHADOWSTRIKE: I must admit, kicking someone else’s butt would be good for a change.

DK: And… it could always be worse.

SEAN: *gets shocked* Hey!

DK: No problem, dude. It could always be worse.

SEAN: *gets shocked* Enough! One more time and you know where this is going? *holds up a rotten rat*

DK: Funny rat.

OUTLAW: *eats the rat* Heh, tasty.

SEAN: o_0

AGUMON X: *pukes*

EVERYONE ELSE EXCEPT DK: *turn green*

DK: I’m wondering how must one of those sewer hunts be, as I have no problem with the dirt nor the smell!

OUTLAW: Sure?

DK: Yeah!

OUTLAW: Dude, once these weird problems finally end, let’s go for some sewer hunting, ok?

DK: It’s a deal!

EVERYONE: *roll eyes*

LALAMON: Just promise me you’ll always take a bath!

BETAMON: Oh man… sorry Outlaw but don’t count me in those ones!

VOID: *sighs* So that our brilliant leader brilliantly managed to begin the hostilities, I think there’s no way back, right?

MAJIN: FUNI LADY VERY ANGRY!!LOL!1!11!!one1kk *laughs histerically*

PATAMON: *laughs historically as well*

RENAMON: …

METABAD: *getting serious* Void, I know. It’s time to…

VOID: Fight?

METABAD: No, rawk! *rawks*

VOID: Why am I not surprised?

MONODRAMON: Same here.

Sounds are heard behind the main hatch of the ship

VOID: They’re here!

MAJIN: OMFG PAT PAT SEIF MEEE!!!!!

PATAMON: !!!

REBEL: Quiet you all! I’ll try to hear what they’re saying!

Rebel moves right next to the hatch. Meanwhile, outside…

ALPHA MOVEMENT: Do it! Do it!

SPARK: HYAAAA!!!! *charges a punch and busts the hatch down*

REBEL: Oof! *hatch falls over him*

AM: You!

CIA: You!

AM Digimon: You!

CIA Digimon: You!

REBEL: *getting up* So, you managed to enter here?

JADE: Of course, my comrade.

SPARK: *chuckles*

AM: The nostalgia…

REBEL: Yeah, it’s fine to see another reunion of the Cossack Comrades in this centur–

SHADOWSTRIKE: Screw that! Rebel, we’ve got bad guys to–Hey, aren’t you guys Darksage and Seadragon? Didn’t you used to work for my grandfather way back when?

SEADRAGON: *gulp*

DARKSAGE: *gulp*

METABAD: *gulp*

SHADOWSTRIKE: *smacks Metabad*

METABAD: Ouch! That didn’t rawk.

JADE: Anyways, *brings Nautilus* shall we start?

REBEL: *to himself* Damn, he’s got a lightsaber…

Suddenly, something comes flying through the air, breaking a window and falling in Rebel’s hands. It’s Agile’s beam saber.

REBEL: *stares at the sword* What the heck is this thing doing here?

VOID: That can only mean…

SHADOWSTRIKE: Something happened to the X-Hunters…

In the Maverick HQ…

SIGMA: Sit!

VELGUADER: *sits down*

SIGMA: Good boy! Hey, Vile, isn’t Velguader truly the best dog in… *stares at Vile* Are you alright?

VILE: *runs away*

SIGMA/VELGUADER: ?

Back at the Whale King…

SPARK: Hehehehe!

CIA: Huh?

SPARK: I remember the sole mention of those guys gives Vile diarrhea.

CIA: …

DORUMON: *to the AM Digimon* And you! Don’t even try thinking you will harm them!

VEEMON: Evil will not prevail!

METABAD: RAWKSOME!

MONODRAMON: (Oh please, may those guys free me from that retard!)

RYUUDAMON: So do you want a fight?

BEARMON: Then that’s what you will have! *clenches fists*

KAMEMON: *to himself* Oh please, may those guys free me from that tyrant penguin!

BRICK: Pardon?

KAMEMON: Nothing, my lord.

BETAMON: Time to digivolve!

The CIA Digimon digivolve with the power of LOVE and FRIENDSHIP to their Champion forms, minus Lalamon, who digivolved to Lila-chan!

FLAMEDRAMON: Ready for a beating?

RYUUDAMON: *snickers* Is that so? Guys…

ELECMON: Let’s show them the power…

PicoDevimon: Of the Maverick Virus!

They digivolve to their Champion forms using the evil power of the Virus, except Lily-chan, of course.

GAWAPPAMON: (My time will come, soon. Muhaha!)

The two groups of Digimon engage in a fight.

DK: *to Boomer Kuwanger* You’re going down, skinny corpse! *points his Bubble Splash cannon (wich curiously looks like a gatling gun) at him*

DARK KNIGHT: *cold* Sure?

LILAMON: *to Bubble Crab* Watch out, I feel a strange energy emitting from him!

DK: Nothing my new powerful yet short and stocky body can’t handle, my dear.

And so the ultimate battle begins. Meanwhile…

iX: This is their base…

BARBAMON: That Chaos Emerald will soon be ours!

LILITHMON: Odd. I feel some presence there…

LEVIAMON: And what is it?

LILITHMON: Oh, don’t worry, it dissapeared… I think.

Into the fray, several individual fights are taking place…

DK: RAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! *shoots a full barrage of Bubble Splash*

DARK KNIGHT: *easily dodges* What, too quick for you, little boy?

Crab shoots another barrage of fully-automatic Bubble Splash. Dark Knight dashes out of the way, and teleports.

DK: Grrr, where are you, coward?

DARK KNIGHT: Behind you! *sends a swift kick to his back*

DK: Agh! *keels over*

Dark Knight takes his Boomerang Cutter, ready to terminate the crab Reploid.

LILAMON: Dark Knight!!

DARK KNIGHT: The hell? What do you want with me you… *sees Lilamon* sweet cute flower?

LILYMON: Hey! *smacks Dark Knight’s head, surprisingly without suffering any harm from the razor-edge blades*

DARK KNIGHT: What was that for? You’ll be always the most precious person to me, Lily-chan!

LILYMON: ^_^

DK: *gets up* (Aww, what a pretty girl!!!). Anyways, why are you named after me?

DARK KNIGHT: *sighs* I was going to ask that…

DK: Put that away for later! *activates Energy Pincers*

DARK KNIGHT: *smirks* Is that so? It seems you’re gonna make things *brings Necro Sabre* interesting.

As both Dark Knights continue their duel, let’s check Jade and Rebel…

REBEL: *delivers a quick blow with Agile’s saber* I won’t give you any chance, even to an old comrade like you!

JADE: *blocks it* Sorry, Rebel. Orders are orders. *sighs to himself* Mmm, I don’t like this…

Rebel lunges at Jade, but he dodges the lightning fast swing of the sword, darting as it comes down. Jade responds by launching a salvo of Homing Torpedoes. Rebel tries to dodge them but they finally hit him.

REBEL: *staggering, slightly sorched* Ouch… those freakin’ missiles surely pack a punch.

JADE: Well, I saw your design was similar to Boomer’s one, and deducted that a tracking weapon would be just as effective.

REBEL: *recovers* My turn now.

Rebel tosses a small bomb, releasing a black smoke cloud wich quickly engulfs them both.

JADE: You think that can fool me? Watch and learn! *starts swinging his tentacles around him, trying to find Rebel.*

GIRL: Hey! >o<

JADE: *sweatdrops* Ehh… I didn’t want to…

GIRL: *slaps Jade*

JADE: That hurts? *rubs the red spot on his face*

REBEL: *leaps at Jade, saber drawn* And the pain only begins!

Meanwhile, each Alpha Movement member is fightning against a CIA counterpart. Let’s take a look…

MAJIN: WOOF WOOF!!!! GRRRR!!11!!one1

BRICK: Oh, my God! He’s insanely drunk! I’ll take him! *leaps at the barking Majin. The two then begin to wrestle on the floor*

Hehe…

VOID: *supremely complicated mathematical speech*

BLACKBELT: *same*

mY hEaD hUrRrRtSsSs….

AM: Stop jumping! I can’t target you!

METABAD: *jumping rawk*

AM: *oils the floor*

METABAD: *trips and falls*

AM: Hehehe. *aims his cannon at him*

METABAD: 0_0

AM: Time to die, boy!

METABAD: WAAAIIIIT!!! Can I have a last will?

AM: *sighs* Whatever.

METABAD: YEAH! *rawks*

AM: *grimaces* You’re disgusting, I’m out of here.

Then…

SPARK: You look like a pretty buff guy. Let’s see if you can handle some of this! *throws a punch*

OUTLAW: *catches it with his arm* Okay! *chomps down on it*

SPARK: Yaaargh!! *pulls back, having his arm torn off*

OUTLAW: …That’s gotta hurt. Heh.

SPARK: Now I’m REALLY angry! *throws a punch charged with electricity*

OUTLAW: *grabs it with his mouth and lights up like a Christmas tree*

After a slightly gross encounter…

SHADOWSTRIKE: Man, I can’t believe you would actually hurt the grandchild of your former leader.

SEADRAGON: What can I say? Times change… and I don’t plan to fall behind! *zooms past Shadowstrike*

SHADOWSTRIKE: *smirks* So you want to play that game, huh? I’ll match you blow for blow! *runs after*

As for the last set of members, well…

DARKSAGE: An interesting match-up, to say the least.

SEAN: Yeah.

DARKSAGE: I suppose it could be worse.

SEAN: *is shocked* WILL PEOPLE STOP SAYING THAT FOR ONCE!?

DARKSAGE: ???

With everyone beating the snot out of each other, all that was left were the Digimon, who by that time managed to reach their Ultimate forms minus Lilamon and Lilymon. During this entire conflict, however, the villains were slowly advancing onto the ship. When all three parties meet, will disastor truly arrive for the world? Or…

To be continued…

Dissed in the Digital World (Part 4)

July 8, 2014

*Written by Rebel4000*

*Elsewhere…*

Trump: I am telling you this because it is for your own good.

Bill Gates: And I am not inclined to agree.

Trump: Stupid fool. Even if you are arguably the head of the most powerful company in the world, you don’t think I have the power to take it away?

Gates: You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Trump. But why should I care about Chaos Emeralds?

Eggman: *clears throat* We have reason to believe that you discovered one not too long ago.

Gates: I see… so that is why you have come.

Eggman: Eggsactly.

Gates: …Did you just say eggsactly?

Eggman: Don’t be absurd. Now back onto business–

Gates: You did say eggsactly! I heard it with my own two ears!

Trump: So did I.

Eggman: WHAT IN THE WORLD IS YOUR POINT?!

*Both of the men stare at Eggman.*

Eggman: *calms down* Whatever the case, we want that emerald. It would not do our associates any good if we came back empty-handed.

Gates: Look, Ivo. I know you have been ridiculed over the years of having an obsession with eggs, which is why I am concerned that you are starting to take the whole situation too far–

Eggman: I. DON’T. CARE.

Gates: But–

Eggman: No.

Gates: But–

Eggman: No.

Gates: BUT–

Trump: It’s official: You suck.

Gates: THAT’S IT!! *presses a button behind his desk and an army of robots emerges from behind the wall* GOOD DAY SIRS!!

Eggman: It’s go time! *presses a button on his wrist watch*

iX: *breaks the door down* Someone call?!

Trump: I believe that it is time to fire these gentlemen, if you catch my drift.

Barbamon: Of course. Leviamon?

Leviamon: Right away.

*Leviamon starts tearing through the robots while iX tackles a group on his own. During the distraction Gates attempts to escape.*

Lilithmon: *appears before him* Oh-ho, I think not, little man.

Gates: Hunh?

Lilithmon: Phantom Pain! *Lilithmon sprays a deadly mist that covers Gates, causing him to scream in agony until it subsides.*

Barbamon: I suppose that takes care of another fool.

Gates: W-what…?

Lilithmon: Now, you will be a good boy and get us our Chaos Emerald, okay?

Gates: Y-yes… *walks off in a trance*

Eggman: What did you do?

Lilithmon: Cursed him. That particular curse made him a nice little puppet.

Trump: *turns to the remaining robots* You are all fired.

Robots: Damn it! *walk off*

iX: Hah! Weaklings!!

Barbamon: Hm, it was just as I thought. Together with our abilities we are all unstoppable. Not even some super-powered freak would be able to defeat us!

*Elsewhere, in a familiar-looking area in Megalopolis…*

Anti-Majin: *sneezes* STUPID FOOLS WHO DARE SPEAK OF MY NAME SHALL BE TERMINATED!! *raises fist threateningly*

Frank: What are you blabbering about?

Anti-Majin: Shut your mouth or I’ll rip you a new one.

*Back with the AM*

Jade: What in the world is going on, Dark Knight? You aren’t acting normal here.

Dark Knight: Heheheh, I’ve done it!

Blackbelt: Done what?

Dark Knight: I’ve got my very own LILLY-CHAN!!

Everyone else: *groan*

AM: And here we were worried you were going to kill us all or something.

Dark Knight: Nah, that’s for later.

Everyone else: What?!

Dark Knight: I didn’t say anything.

Vile: *walks in* Hey, slackers! Sigma’s got an important message for all of you, so hop to it!! *leaves*

Spark: Again?

Elecmon: We’ve been getting a lot of these, haven’t we?

Brick: Aw, who cares? Kamemon, if you’d please.

Kamemon: Yessir. *lifts Brick up and carries him to the meeting room* (I’m gonna spike your drink!)

Lillymon: Let’s go, DK.

Dark Knight: *hearts in his eyes* Yes, Lilly-chan… Mmm…

*The AM heads to where Sigma is located*

Darksage: What’s the word, Sigma?

Sigma: Good, you’re here.

Commandramon: Is there a problem?

Sigma: Hmph, nothing that a mere digital creature should concern himself with.

Bearmon: I smell a prejudice–

Seadragon: Shh!!

Jade: Please continue, Sigma.

Sigma: *eyes everyone cautiously* Yes… anyway, you all know about those ex-Mavericks who have their own Digimon now?

Dark Knight: Yeah…

Spark: What about ‘em?

Sigma: Apparently my pets have failed, which means that the mercenary has not done his job correctly.

Ryuudamon: So how is that our problem?

Sigma: I’ll tell you how it is–that means that I am going to make you all go up there and finish the job. No one will make a mockery out of the almighty Sigma!!

Everyone else: Right!

Sigma: Now go!!

Everyone else: …

Sigma: What’s the matter?

AM: Er, no offense, but we just got done with a fight with the Shadow Hunters not too long ago.

Blackbelt: So we were kinda-hoping to kick back and relax for the rest of the day.

PicoDevimon: What they are trying to get at is that they want to wait until tomorrow to kill the fools.

Blackbelt: What he said.

Sigma: Hmm, let me think about it–No.

Everyone else: Damn!

Seadragon: Can’t you reconsider?

Sigma: Well, all right–No.

Everyone else: Double damn!

Piyomon: You bastard!

Sigma: So I am! Now get going.

Everyone else: *grumbles as they leave*

*Onboard the Whale King…*

Rebel: C’mon, Dorumon! You’ve gotta rawk!! *rawks*

Dorumon: Why?

Rebel: ‘Cause you are behind everyone else! Therefore you must rawk to get better. You don’t want to suck do ya?

Dorumon: Well, no…

Rebel: Then let’s rawk. Right Metabad?

Metabad: YEAH!! *rawks*

Rebel: *rawks*

Dorumon: All right, I’ll do it! *rawks*

Monodramon: You all make me sick.

Void: *enters the room* Everyone, I’ve got an important announcement to make.

Outlaw: What is it?

Void: Oh, nothing much, just–

Rebel: Hold on a sec. Who’s the leader around here, Void?

Void: …You are.

Rebel: That’s right. So WHO should be making all of the important announcements?

Void: Me.

Rebel: Damn straight. Now go on and tell us. *drinks a can of coke*

Renamon: *smiles to herself*

Sean: Is this going to be bad?

Void: Not as bad as Majin when he’s sober.

Majin: *covered in bandages* AND I’M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Patamon: *drunk* FREEEEEEEEE FAAAAAAAAALLING

Shadowstrike: Oh god, he’s gotten Patamon!

Veemon: *tugging Shadow’s arm* Hey, uh, can I try some of that?

Shadowstrike: Fine, we might as well all try it, too!

*Shadowstrike and Veemon grab a bottle of beer and swig it down in one shot. Immediately they both turn green and run out of the room.*

DK: Hah, how sorry they are. Can’t even hold some common alcohol!

Lalamon: Now, now, DK. Don’t make fun of others just because they aren’t like you.

DK: Too true…

Void: ANYWAY, back to the topic at hand…

Rebel: I’ll say. Hurry up and speak already, Void. Sheesh.

Metabad: Yeah, sheesh.

Dorumon: Sheesh.

Void and Renamon: *sweatdrops*

Monodramon: To give you the benefit of the doubt I’ll beg you to start talking.

Void: Thank you. Now, about what I was going to say… I have been doing some research on the Chaos Emerald that was found during the encounter with the Devidramon earlier.

Betamon: So what’d you find?

Void: Well, normally Chaos Emeralds have a reaction when they are near other emeralds, right?

Agumon X: Right.

DK: Go on…

Void: I have noticed that the emerald has been reacting sporadically, as if the other emeralds are here, but not.

Rebel: And what the Hell is that supposed to mean?

Void: It means that the rest of the emeralds are in another dimension. And they are gathering.

Outlaw: Gathering?

Void: Yeah, but who or what is doing it is unknown to me at this point. I’m going to have to do some more research to figure that out.

Dorumon: Oooh, spooky.

Metabad: But liek, or awesomeness will save the day, right?

Rebel: I believe you mean our… rawksomeness.

Metabad: Dude that rawks.

Rebel: Totally.

Dorumon: I say we rawk in celebration of this new revelation!

*The three proceed to rawk.*

Void: So… does our great and almighty leader have any comments on this latest news?

Rebel: *stops and thinks* Hmm… well, it sounds pretty bad, but eh, I really couldn’t give a rats ass at this point in time.

Renamon: What… did you just say?

Rebel: I said I really couldn’t care less. Besides, I’m too busy rawking and all.

Renamon: What…?!

Rebel: VOID!! I demand that this Digimon gets hearing aids! It’s ruining my jive.

Void: *sighs*

*Suddenly an alarm sounds off.*

Agumon X: Again?!

Void: Hmm, apparently we’ve got a message coming in. Should I accept it?

Rebel: Go for it.

*Void pushes a button and a screen lights up, showing the face of Launch Octopus.*

Jade: Greetings, Code: Island Attackers. May I ask which of you is the leader?

Rebel: That’d be me… wait a tick… you sound familiar… Jade?!

Jade: Rebel?! You’re the leader?

Sean: Why are you attacking us?

Jade: Sean, too? Sheesh, this is craziness.

Rebel: I’ll say. Are there any other surprise guests on your end as well?

Jade: Well, AM is here too.

Rebel: Crap.

Jade: Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m in charge of this unit, Alpha Movement.

Rebel: All right. So what do you want?

Jade: Under the orders of our master Sigma, we have been instructed to destroy both you and your ship.

Rebel: I see, so it’s a fight you want, eh?! Well, bring it on! We won’t lose!!

Jade: Then let’s get this show on the road.

*The screen goes black.*

Void: Rebel, what in the world was that all about?

Rebel: I’ll talk about it later. What’s important right now is that we get ready for a fight. Island Attackers… ATTACK!!!

Everyone: YEAH!!

*In the Mushroom Kingdom…*

Mario: *attempts jump on Barbamon’s head*

Barbamon: *steps out of the way*

Mario: Mama-mia!

Barbamon: I’ve grown tired of this child’s play. Crimson Flame!

*In a matter of seconds Mario is turned into charcoal*

Peach: What did you do to Mario?

Eggman: Do not worry. He’s merely gone on vacation.

Peach: Okay! Lalala~! *prances off*

iX: Dumb blonde. Bet she still thinks Bowser Jr. is her kid.

*At that moment Leviamon comes out of the moat with Trump on his back.*

Leviamon: *holding an emerald in his mouth* Barbamon! We found the emerald!

Trump: It was located in the basement, just like our sources told us. It was practically unguarded.

Barbamon: Excellent. *takes the emerald* With this, we have four.

Lilithmon: And we know that a certain “Shadow the Hedgehog” holds two of the remaining three.

Eggman: *coughs* I still can’t believe we have to deal with that OTHER hedgehog. Knowing my luck we’ll probably run into–

iX: Aw, stuff it, gramps.

Eggman: Quiet, you.

Barbamon: Well, in order to find this “Shadow” we must be able to locate him. Therefore let us look for the other emerald first.

Leviamon: Do we have any leads?

Lilithmon: I was incapable of obtaining more information.

Eggman: Then… I suppose we are at a dead end.

*The group of villains all stand there, crestfallen at this news. Suddenly Trump lifts his head up, an idea coming to mind.*

Trump: Actually…

Barbamon: Yes? What is it?

Trump: I have a place that we can check out… some old “friends” which I’ve been dying to see…

Barbamon: Then by all means, show us the way.

*The villains quickly disappear into thin air. A few minutes later, however, another figure walks onto the scene, smiling.*

Luigi: Ohohoho. Poor Mario. With these burns I can say he met his end by the hands of Bowser, and once I bring that Koopa to justice, I shall become the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom! Just you wait, Peach. Luigi here is gonna show you why mushrooms are bad for you.

*In the Megalopolis sewer system…*

Agile: Ah, home sweet home.

Serges: I must say our new accommodations are rather nice.

Violen: But I miss my trash can…

Agile: Shut up! At least with this we’ve got a roof over our heads. Do you want another freak blizzard to come out of nowhere and trample us again?

Violen: But the snowman I made–

Agile: SHUT UP!!

Serges: *ignoring the others* Now, our first objective is to find the CIA.

Agile: Yeah, after that Anti guy came in here and took over we’ve lost our only good job.

Violen: You mean getting our butts handed to us on a regular basis?

Agile: Yep.

Serges: Regardless, we’ve heard that they are now in a mobile base, so they could be anywhere in the world.

Violen: That’s a big place.

Agile: Do you try to be stupid?

Violen: *teary-eyed* I don’t try! I just am.

Barbamon: So, you say that they are mobile…

X-Hunters: Who’s there?!

*Barbamon and the rest of the villains emerge from the shadows.*

Lilithmon: Lovely base you boys have.

Agile: *puffing his chest out* W-why thank you. I do try to set a good example and all that…

Lilithmon: That was a joke, idiot!

Agile: Oh.

Trump: *stepping forward* It’s nice to see you again, X-Hunters.

Serges: T-Trump?!

Violen: Weren’t you thrown in jail or something?

Trump: These gentlemen were kind enough to free me. Unlike a trio of nincompoops who can’t even tie their own shoelaces.

*The X-Hunters all bend down and try to tie the shoelaces that aren’t there.*

Leviamon: Stand up, fools, less you want to feel our wrath!

*They quickly stand up.*

Agile: So, uh, what can we do for you, such honored guests?

Trump: Well, since we go such a long way back, I wanted you to tell us where the CIA is now.

Eggman: Of course we already have that information… so why not tell us if you know where one “Shadow the Hedgehog” is located?

Serges: Shadow the Hedgehog? Never heard of him.

Lilithmon: If you are lying you will pay for it.

Agile: *steps back* The X-Hunters don’t lie! Maybe stretch the truth to the point where it is no longer recognizable, but lying? Don’t make us laugh!

Violen: Only on Tuesdays!

Trump: It is Tuesday.

Violen: Oh… never mind then.

Barbamon: Very well, then. I suppose we have gotten what we have come for. Let us go meet these “Island Attackers…”

*The group turns to leave.*

Agile: W-wait!

Serges: What do you plan to do once you meet the CIA?

Violen: Is there any Lucy involved?

Trump: Hmm, since you were kind enough to tell us where they are, I suppose it would only be fitting to reward you. iX?

iX: Yeah?

Trump: Fire them.

iX: Heheheh, right away… *cracks knuckles*

Serges: Huh?!

Agile: No! Wait! LOVE AND PEACE!!

Violen: *Curls into a ball and starts rocking back and forth* The bad things will go away, the bad things will go away, the bad things will go away…

*The X-Hunter’s screams pierce the air as the real villains make their leave. Their destination: The CIA’s headquarters…*

To be continued…

 

Dissed in the Digital World (Part 3)

July 1, 2014

*Written by Dark Knight*

At the Maverick HQ…

ANIME MASTER: And what was the little “gift”, if I may ask, Sigma?

SIGMA: Some nice new “pets” for them, which a mercenary hired by me gladly accepted to deliver to their base.

JADE: Who was he? Remember our last problems with mercenary guys hiding within the shadows…

BRICK: Hey, but one of them was none other than me!

SIGMA: Don’t worry, my loyal Mavericks, he was pure human. You know, flesh and bone, with no apparent weapons.

——————————————

Back in the CIA airship…

REBEL: Dorumon’s right, we should welcome you to the team.

METABAD: WOOHOO! LET’S RAAawwk…zzz…(falls asleep)

LILAMON: Don’t worry, I have him under control.

DK: That was a pretty good pollen attack, Lila-chan, but leave it so. I don’t think he’s TOO dangerous.

STRIKEDRAMON: I think I should thank you too.

DK: Ok, now that we’re on the topic I need to tell you guys something…

MAJIN: FLYING PINK ELEPHANTS OUTSIDE!!! RAK! RAK! RAK! (runs through a wall and falls out of the airship)

KYUUBIMON: Shouldn’t we help him?

VOID: Nah. Let him go. Proceed.

DK: Well, I think I should start from the beginning. I’m in fact a specter, a dead man, with no knowledge of my past life nor the reason of my death. My first remembrances are of my soul floating, stranded beetwen the dimensions of the Outer World, in total despair, sorrow and no reasons to continue existing. Then something appeared, some entity so horrific I can’t remember what it was.

VOID: Not even its shape?

DK: Only prime terror comes to my mind. Then the feeling of a part of my soul beign ripped from me. After that the ultimate feeling of fear dissapeared, and I found myself alone again, but this time on this world. I wandered some time as a lost soul through this world, and when I regained some strength, created this human body you see now. But as you surely know, artificially created human bodies are fragile. And this one is decaying, slowly but continuously. I needed a new body, a more durable one. So this was the reason (besides getting cute Lila-chan) I came here.

VOID: Mm… interesting story. I never heard of something similar. Rebel, give him the Bubble Crab armor.

REBEL: I’m the leader, Void! So I’m the one who gives the ord…

VOID: He’s dying, so please take that for later!

REBEL: Ok, ok…asshole.

Later, after giving DK the powers and form of Bubble Crab…

DK: Aah, feels good! It was sooo long since I felt so renewed, but somehow I sense lack of life in my body… no problem, I don’t care about that.

REBEL: So… the Island Attackers are reunited again!

DK: Ha, it was a good idea to bring the Devidramon here, so I could save your life, giving you the moral obligation to repay me the favor!

EVERYONE ELSE EXCEPT LILAMON: YOU BASTARD!!!!

DK: MWAHAHAHA!!!!

LILAMON: Oh, DK-san, please don’t start with that again!

METABAD: HEY GUYS!! What did I miss?? Some RAWKIN’, perhaps?!?!? (rawks)

DK stares at the rawkin’ Metabad with a mix of wicked fun and insanity.

DK: THIS!!! (shoots Bubble Splash at him)

METABAD: AAH!!! THE PAAAIIIN, IT HUURTSS!!!! MY ASS IS MELTING!!!

DK: HAHA!!! This is so much fun!!! (shoots even more)

METABAD: BWAAAAAA!!!!

DK begins to pursue Metabad, who screams like a little girl while running.

LILAMON: Guess this will take a while…

——————————————

Meanwhile, in an alternate dimension, Lilithmon is speaking with some entity who’s wearing a black cloak…

LILITHMON: I say, give me the Chaos Emeralds, I know you have two of them!

CLOAKED FIGURE: And I say, I don’t have them!

LILITHMON: Chaos Messenger, don’t lie to me! Lying to a Great Demon Lord will be your last and worst fault.

CLOAKED FIGURE: Hey sweety, trust me! Chaos to me is a very different thing than of the jewels you’re searching. We don’t need those things.

LILITHMON: You are evil like us, and the sons of the darkness help themselves, so bring them to me!

CLOAKED FIGURE: Lilithmon, you know the role of our cult in this big game we know as Existence. We are not dark nor light. And while the battle between the forces of Good and Evil occurs, we watch silently from the shadows, waiting for our turn to enter into the game. Believe me, I don’t have those things.

LILITHMON: Our sources informed us that a Chaos Messenger with the same Sirrakh Symbol as yours keeps two of them. This is my last warning. I know your Master won’t appear to save a mere subordinate.

CLOAKED FIGURE: C’mon, I won’t harm a girl.

LILITHMON: (Giggles) Wanna test that?

CLOAKED FIGURE: Well, I think I can no longer hide the truth, specially to a girl as pretty as you. In fact, I posessed two of them as you said, but not anymore. Some miserable, pussy black rodent stole them from my grasp while I was distracted. I’m pissed with him, and wanting to devour his soul. No one humilliates a Chaos Messenger and survives!

LILITHMON: How can we find him?

CLOAKED FIGURE: Frankly, I don’t know where the little shit can be now. Only his name… Shadow the Hedgehog.

LILITHMON: That’s enough for us to track him. In reward for the info you gave us, I shall personally kill him for you.

CLOAKED FIGURE: That seems good… but I was wanting some different type of reward from you, Lilithmon…

LILITHMON: What?

CLOAKED FIGURE: Nothing! Good luck.

After Lilithmon left…

CLOAKED FIGURE: Well, I think it’s time to return there and see how her progress is going on. I hope the best, hehehe…

——————————————

Elsewhere…

iX: (Blasts a Pichu)

BARBAMON: Did you find the Chaos Emerald?

iX: No, but this is damn fun!!!!

EGGMAN: iX, how can you even think that the Chaos Emerald we’re searching here will be inside one of those critters? It doesn’t have any sense!

iX: That’s not your freakin’ problem, fatball! (continues blasting Pokemon)

BARBAMON: Leviamon should be here in a moment, he’s traveled to a dimension with people who use the power of the alchemy. (EGGMAN and iX continue arguing) Don’t let pointless infighting interrupt our grand plan! We must focus at the task at hand.

EGGMAN: I can’t work with morons!

iX: Me neither.

EGGMAN: Besides, I think I know the reason why you let iX kill Pok…

Just before he can say any more words, Leviamon appears.

LEVIAMON: Nothing there. But I saw the presence of another kind of very powerful stones, and a big presence of the Deadly Sins there as well!

BARBAMON: Interesting. A pity you didn’t find any Emerald.

LEVIAMON: By the way, where’s Lilithmon?

BARBAMON: She went to meet some contact who could have some info for us, and insisted that she wanted to go alone. She must be here… now.

LILITHMON: Wow, you’re good at this, Barbamon.

LEVIAMON: Did you find any Chaos Emerald?

LILITHMON: My contact said he doesn’t have them. But he gave me some valuable info…

Meanwhile, iX is having some fun.

ASH: Pikachu, I choose you!

Pikachu attacks iX with all his electrical power. However, iX doesn’t even flinch.

iX: My turn, yellow rat…

Pikachu is totally obliterated by a charged Triad Thunder.

iX: Now that’s a TRUE electrical attack! (maniacal laugh)

ASH: PIKACHU!!!

iX: I think you’re only good against Team Rocket, loser.

ASH: Shit!

TRUMP: And by the way, you’re fired.

ASH: Double shit!

BARBAMON: iX, Trump, Eggman, we’re leaving now! Another emerald awaits us… Leviamon!

LEVIAMON: (devouring some Jigglypuff) Sorry.

——————————————

At the outskirts of the Maverick HQ…

GEEMEL: Keeheehe! We’ll take ‘em by surprise!

ZAIN: Yeah! This will be a devastating blow for those villains. They’ll fear the Shadow Hunters!

TECHNO: Quiet you two! We’re in the middle of an infiltration mission to sabotage the Maverick Mainframe, did you forget it? And I will have my revenge against that armored bastard.

At the lounge of the Maverick Base…

VILE: The heck! What kind of experiment is this? All what I can see are eight lazy morons playing with their new pets! Don’t you know they are only a bad copy of Pokemon?

JADE: (preparing his Homing Torpedo mounts) DON’T

DARK KNIGHT: (taking his Boomerang Cutter headpart) EVER

JADE: SAY

DARK KNIGHT: THAT

JADE: AGAIN.

VILE: You won’t attack me.

JADE/DARK KNIGHT: BELIEVE US.

VILE: (nervous) You’re lucky today, because I’ve got many important jobs for Sigma to do, and I’m late. Expect some Champion’s Training when I see you two again! (leaves)

RYUUDAMON: (Laughs)

JADE: By the way, where were you all this time, Boomer?

DARK KNIGHT: In the bathroom?

Meanwhile, Anime Master, Bearmon, Spark, Elecmon and Brick are watching TV…

BEARMON: Hey, AM, this is a great movie, I love those energy swords! And by the way, why does the cool bounty hunter in the movie look almost similar to the guy that fled very scared of your angry friends just a moment ago?

AM: That’s an enigma I still can’t answer.

BRICK: Hey, Kamemon, where are our beers?

KAMEMON: Right here, sir.

SPARK: Hey, Brick, let the poor turtle enjoy his moments here.

BRICK: Haven’t you seen Digimon Savers? He’s pretty good for the job! I’m sure he likes it!

KAMEMON: (Somebody save me from this tyrannical penguin!)

AM: Well, I’m enjoying now the NON-DUBBED Digimon Savers. It will be a terrible thing if that Jack Bauer sicko starts profaning it (trembles with disgust).

ELECMON: What’s so bad about that guy?

SPARK: (whispers the awful truth in his ear)

ELECMON: (fainst with high terror in his eyes)

AM: Hey, monkey boy, don’t start traumatizing the boy so soon!

SPARK: How did you call me, peanut brain?

AM: Alright, that does it!

SPARK: So it is fight that you want, huh?

AM and Spark start an all-out fight in the middle of the lounge, while the rest of the Mavericks and their partners (except Seadragon, Piyomon, Blackbelt and Picodevimon, who weren’t there) stand around them, watching the big fight.

DARKSAGE: Hehe… my time has come again… (sets up a betting table) Step right up and place your bets! Will the Mammoth stomp the monkey or will Spark turn his face into a Picasso painting?

COMMANDRAMON: Make your decision and place your bets now!

DARKSAGE: Hey, boy, you’ll succeed in this work! You learn quickly!

COMMANDRAMON: Thanks. I also like to play online poker.

DARKSAGE: YOU’RE MY LOST SON!

Seadragon comes across the corridor accompanied by a tired Piyomon.

SEADRAGON: Now that was some good training! If that Typhoon buffon appears, me and Piyomon will personally kick his ass soooo hard… (sees the fight) What the hell is happening here?

DARK KNIGHT: (with his typical reluctant voice) They’re having some kind of fight.

SEADRAGON: Aah, like the one we have?

DARK KNIGHT: Yesss.

AM: Jump Press!

SPARK: (dodges) What? Too quick for you?

AM: Try this! (tries to smash Spark with his trunk)

Nevertheless, Spark catches his trunk and tries to execute a throw. However, AM is just too heavy for that. Viewing the fight is Bearmon too, with the still passed out Elecmon near him.

BEARMON: (sweatdrops) Intense.

ELECMON: (Wakes up. Nods sweatdropping) Very.

Meanwhile, in the heart of the Maverick HQ, at the Maverick Mainframe…

BLACKBELT: This is the Maverick Mainframe, Pico Devimon, here runs all the info of our Empire, here’s also the info about you.

PicoDevimon: Hehe, so I can evolve into that cool, powerful demon?

BLACKBELT: With the appropiate training, yes.

PicoDevimon: Sweet!

BLACKBELT: Once the evolution is complete, I think I’ll try to use the Maverick Virus on you to test how does it work with Digimon.

PicoDevimon: Sounds painful.

BLACKBELT: Well, we live with the Virus all the time, and look at us!

PicoDevimon: (I better stop asking). And what does this machine do?

BLACKBELT: Well, this is our teleport system, one of our newest additions and also one of my finest works.

PicoDevimon: How does it work?

BLACKBELT: Quite simple, it…

???: Always followed by bats, aren’t you, bastard?

BLACKBELT: Huh?

Behind Blackbelt appear three figures. One tall, other bulky with a large sword and the other simply tiny.

BLACKBELT: You! This is for bringing Windows Vista here! (prepares Plasma Shooter)

PicoDevimon: I’ll take care of them! Pico Darts! (throws)

GEEMEL: (easily evades) Pathetic. Is that the best your little friend can do for you? (tackles Pico Devimon)

PicoDevimon: Aagh! (Geemel continues pounding the hapless creature)

BLACKBELT: Crap… I guess is time to…

However, before he could do any more moves, the cutting edge of a sword appears just in front of his throat.

ZAIN: Where are you going, Armor Armarge?

BLACKBELT: Ugh… I’m still wondering how did you manage to enter here…

TECHNO: There are no impossibles for a mastermind, fool. Hehe, I never forget that last time, that moment in which you humilliated me! Was it funny for you!?!

BLACKBELT: Can’t say it wasn’t.

TECHNO: Silence! Now I will have my sweet revenge against you! You’re going to tell me where’s the self-destruction mechanism of this place!

BLACKBELT: Sure, it’s the bright, big red button.

GEEMEL: I’ll press it!

TECHNO: No, Geemel, wait…!

GEEMEL: (presses the button)

VOICE: ALERT! ALERT! INTRUDERS AT THE MAVERICK MAINFRAME!

TECHNO: Geemel you dumbass.

Back to the lounge…

VOICE: ALERT! ALERT! INTRUDERS AT THE MAVERICK MAINFRAME!

JADE: What!? Must be the Hunters! Blackbelt was there so he must be in trouble, hurry guys!

AM: But…

SPARK: But…

JADE: Oh, please, boys. Leave that for later.

DARKSAGE/COMMANDRAMON: Our business! Oh, what the hell! (fold table). All bets are off!

BRICK: So let’s kick some Hunter asses (I love to say that)!

The Alpha Movement run to the Mainframe to confront the Hunters. All except one…

PALMON: What are you waiting? We’ve got to assist them!

DARK KNIGHT: They are more than enough to confront wathever is there. Come, follow me. I’ve got primordial things to speak with you.

PALMON: Huh?

Meanwhile…

TECHNO: That was your last trick, Armadillo. Zain, kill him.

ZAIN: I’m going to enjoy this! (raises sword)

RYUUDAMON: Katana Attack!

BEARMON: Bear Fist!

COMMANDRAMON: M16 Assasin!

ELECMON: Sparkling Thunder!

KAMEMON: Met Knuckle!

PIYOMON: Spiral Twister!

Taken by surprise, Zain receives the full brunt of the combined attack.

ZAIN: Agh! It’s you! No matter you have the help of those creatures, we’ll kick your ass!

GEEMEL: It will be fast and easy!

BLACKBELT: Oh, I don’t think so.

TECHNO: Why?

BLACKBELT: Because… we Mavericks have a nice little thing we call Maverick Virus… and with its powers, we can help our new friends to DIGIVOLVE!

ZAIN: To help them to what?

BLACKBELT: This!

Blackbelt presses some buttons, and the seven Digimon begin to glow. A moment later, and they all have Digivolved.

TECHNO: What the…? Guys, protect me!

GEEMEL: We’ll do our best, but….

ZAIN: …those guys look pretty big, and surpass us in number.

So the Digimon start a big brawl against Zain and Geemel. Meanwhile, Palmon and Dark Knight walk through one of the many corridors of the Maverick Base.

PALMON: What happened, Dark Knight?

DARK KNIGHT: First of all, sorry for beign so rude with you, I’m somehow kinda nervous. What I’m going to do now is to tell you a tale. The tale of a demon. The tale of how that demon hates some hero. The tale of why that demon hates him. The tale of somehow who broke that demon’s heart. The tale of the vengeance of that demon.

PALMON: (a bit scared) Dark Knight, are you alright?

DARK KNIGHT: Guess I should start from the beginning…

Into the fray, the Digimon are finishing the battle…

GIN RYUUMON: Battle Rod Break!

GRIZZMON: Crescent Dawn!

KENTARUMON: Solar Ray!

GEEMEL: Kyah! (collapses)

BIRDRAMON: Meteor Wing!

SEALSDRAMON: Death Behind!

GAWAPPAMON: DJ Shooter!

ZAIN: Ugh! (collapses too)

BLACKBELT: Since you’re the only left, I think it’s now you, me, and Devimon.

DEVIMON: (evil grin) Hehehe, just give the word.

TECHNO: No, please, not again!

BLACKBELT: Too bad.

Blackbelt and Devimon proceed to beat the crap out if Techno. Meanwhile…

DARK KNIGHT: …so I’m still waiting the day I can finally feast upon his flesh. It’s the reason of my life!!! I WILL HAVE A SHOWDOWN AGAINST HIM!!! And she will pay too!

The eyes of Dark Knight flash with a ghostly green.

PALMON: Poor Dark Knight. But I don’t know how I can help you…

DARK KNIGHT: I shall demonstrate that I’m better than that Guardian bastard. I’ll demonstrate that the limits he afronted and used as a excuse are no matter for me! Come (whips Necro Sabre) Let its energy flow through you…

Palmon begins to glow and…

JADE: Ha! Now that was a pretty funny fight.

AM: Yeah!

BLACKBELT: Thanks, guys. I love to kick that pansy’s ass.

They walk to the lounge until they find Dark Knight. There is something odd in his face. It’s the first time they see him happy.

DARK KNIGHT: Guys, look who’s here…

——————————————

In the CIA airship…

METABAD: (lying on the ground, almost dead) Somebody help me…

DK: Now that was cool… And by the way, why not? (rawks)

To be continued…

Dissed in the Digital World (Part 2)

June 25, 2014

*Written by Jade*

*Back with the Code: Island Attackers…*

Rebel: Okay, so go over that once more Void?

Void: *Sigh* These eggs are called Digi Eggs, and they will soon hatch into creatures known as Digimon. I bought them so we could each have a partner.

Shadowstrike: But there are eight eggs and only six of us.

Metabad: HEY ALL WHAT’S UP HOW’S IT GOING??

*Everyone pauses to look at Metabad.*

Void: …Who the heck are you?

Metabad: Metabad.

Sean: And that is…?

Metabad: Uh, me?

Void: *Turns to Rebel* You’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do.

Majin: yoooooooooooou goooooooooot meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee gooooooooooooooooiiiiiiiin noooooooooooooooooow

Rebel: Where did he find beer?

Outlaw: I dunno.

Void: Don’t change the subject!

Rebel: Oh, right. Well, if you must know, it started like this…

*Flashback*

*In some random, unimportant town…*

Rebel: Man, I’ve gotta find some replacements so the team can get back into the groove ASAP. But who the heck am I gonna find crazy enough to actually take the position?

Metabad: HEY THERE DO YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND HUH DO YA HUH DO YA HUH DO YA HUH DO YA HUH DO YA HUH DO YA HUH?

Rebel: I’ll answer your question with a question of my own: Are you a bad enough dude to be my friend?

Metabad: I’m bad enough to rawk, wanna see?

Rebel: Shoot.

Metabad: *Rawks*

Rebel: Welcome to the team.

*End flashback*

Rebel: And that is the sad story of filope magee.

Outlaw: That silly filope magee and his crazy antics.

Majin: FLYING PIZZA MONKEYS

Void: Aaaaanyway, we’ve got these eggs. So guys pick which ones you want and the last one I’ll probably use for breakfast or something.

*So the seven members pick an egg and hold them*

Metabad: Heehee this is so awesome.

Shadowstrike: How so?

Metabad: ‘Cuz it’s like… we rawk or something.

Rebel: Heck yeah it does.

*The two proceed to rawk. Everyone just ignores them.*

*Elsewhere…*

Papa Smurf: You want the emerald that we found?

Eggman: *looking down* That’s right. Give it to us and there will be no trouble.

Brainy Smurf: I don’t think we should trust ‘em, Papa Smurf.

iX: Shut up and just give us the damn emerald! *points his buster at the Smurfs*

Hefty Smurf: So it’s a fight you want eh?! I’ll show you! *charges*

iX: *Blasts Hefty*

Papa Smurf: *Scared* Jokey, go get the emerald.

Jokey Smurf: Right away! *leaves and comes back pushing a giant box* Here it is!

Eggman: Let me see it. *takes the box and opens it for it to explode in his face*

Jokey Smurf: *Bursts out laughing*

iX: *Blasts Jokey and starts laughing himself*

Smurfs: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *starts panicking*

*iX starts shooting every Smurf until all that is left is Papa Smurf*

Papa Smurf: You killed all of my children!

iX: Yeah, yeah, whatever you freaking pedophile. Now where’s that emerald?

Papa Smurf: *Shows them where the real emerald is*

Eggman: Excellent. This makes number two.

Papa Smurf: Um, excuse me… but what are you going to do about all of this mess?!

Lilithmon: Well, I suppose it would only be fitting to reward you with your cooperation. What do you boys think?

*Everyone starts to smile wickedly*

Papa Smurf: H-huh? What are you going to–NO PUT ME DOWN!!

*A few minutes later*

Gargamel: So you are just going to give me Papa Smurf?

Papa Smurf: No!

Trump: Yes, here you go. *hands him over*

Gargamel: *Dancing* I’ve done it! I’ve done it! I finally got a Smurf! The last Smurf in existance no less! Now I can finally make some money–or do I want to eat it? Hmm…

Trump: Oh yes, Gargamel… You’re fired.

Gargamel: What?! NO!! *throws Papa Smurf off a cliff* I hate those Smurfs! *leaves*

iX: Well that was strangely satisfying.

Barbamon: Yes, and now we have obtained yet another Chaos Emerald–only five more to find before we can move on to phase two.

Eggman: But I wonder where the next one is…

Leviamon: We must keep searching and traveling through the dimensions until we find them all. Until then there is no time for complaining.

*Back with the CIA*

Rebel: *staring at a Dorimon* So do these things actually get bigger or what?

Void: Over time, yeah.

Rebel: Well this is boring as hell waiting for it to evolve.

Shadowstrike: Yours has taken the longest to reach rookie form. Mine reached Veemon yesterday.

Sean: Mine also managed to reach Agumon, although I think it carries the X-Antibody, making it Agumon X.

Rebel: What’s your point?!

Monodramon: He’s saying that you suck and don’t deserve a Digimon.

Rebel: Metabad get this piece of crap out of my face.

Metabad: EEEEEEEEEEHHHHH OKAY!! *carries Monodramon off*

Void: Personally I find this to be a very enjoyable experience, having a Renamon of all the luck.

Metabad: C’mon Rebel you know that these Digimon rawk. I mean you might get a really awesome one that is like “OMGWTFBBQ THATS SECKSAY” ya?

Rebel: Eh, maybe you’re right. But you do know what this means don’t you?

Metabad: Wha?

Rebel: That we’ll need to teach these Digimon how to rawk.

Metabad: Heck yeah. LET’S DO IT MONODRAMON!!! *rawks*

Monodramon: *Looks at him with confusion* Is this guy retarded?

Sean: Probably.

Patamon: Well, it could always be worse… you could have a partner like this guy. *points at Majin*

Majin: I SAW YOU AT TEH CLUB LASSHT NIGHT AND I SAY NO *burps*

Sean: *Gets shocked* I need to fix that curse.

*Suddenly the entire ship is rocked by an unknown force*

Rebel: *Hits the floor* What was that?

Shadowstrike: Air turbulence?

Void: I doubt it. It seemed like we hit something. We outta check it out.

Renamon: Shall I assist?

Void: If you want, sure.

*Most of the members leave save Rebel, Dorimon, Metabad, Monodramon, Majin, and Patamon.*

Rebel: So… I heard you like Mudkips.

Metabad: DO I?!

Cyros: *shows up* Okay, that’s it. I don’t want to hear this EVER AGAIN NEXT TIME. Got that?! *leaves*

Dorimon: Could you even call these guys chosen?

Monodramon: Yeah freaking right. Calling these guys chosen is like telling a Piedmon he’s the best guy in the world.

Patamon: I like pie.

Metabad: WHAT A COINCIDENCE ME TOO!!

Majin: *Hits Metabad with a pie to the face* NARF

*With the rest of the members*

Void: *Checking the ships status* According to the diagram of the chips structure, there is some strange abnormalties happening in the back, located in Storage Room D.

Sean: What kind of abnormalties?

Void: Says something like a distortion in time and space.

Outlaw: Doesn’t that sound awfully familiar*?

*See Series 1, Epilogue #5 “Destroying the Space Time Continuum (part 2)”

Void: Regardless, we need to check it out.

Agumon X: Let’s go, Sean! *runs out the room*

Sean: Hey, wait up! Man, I’ve been stuck on that island too long for this. *chases after*

*Everyone else follows Agumon X and Sean to Storage Room D, where they look through the masses of crates and containers.*

Renamon: Nothing seems suspicious.

Void: Yeah, that’s how it always seems. Then the next thing you know four are dead and you are hungry.

Outlaw: Gotta love those warm fuzzy feelings.

Shadowstrike: Hey, uh, guys? Veemon said he just found something interesting, and uh… *points*

*The rest all peer out to see that a Digimon walking out of a portal in the corner of the room. It is a large, black Digimon that has four red eyes and a pair of black wings, a tail, and long arms with sharp claws.*

Void: A Devidramon? Okay, who in the world tried to hax us?

*At Alpha Movement*

Sigma: So those rogue ex-Mavericks have collected Digimon as well, eh? Interesting. Well then I suppose they won’t mind my little gift.

Jade: What are you doing, Sigma?

Sigma: Ah, Octopus, you’re here. Gather the rest of the Alpha Movement and bring them here–it seems as though we’ve got a little competition!

Jade: Right away!

*Back with the CIA*

Outlaw: What should we do?

Veemon: Take him of course!

Sean: Now listen, we can’t be destroying this place from a pointless fight. We just got it. Let’s go over there and see if we can discuss things peacefully, all right?

Void: Right. Good luck Shadow.

Shadowstrike: Why should I do it?

Void: Well your Digimon was the one that found him, wasn’t it?

Shadowstrike: *Grumbles and walks over there with Veemon* Hey uh, excuse me?

Devidramon: …

Shadowstrike: Yeah, could you please be good and leave for us? We don’t want to cause any trouble.

Devidramon: …

Shadowstrike: Cool? Cool. Well I’ll be going then. *turns to leave*

Devidramon: …CRIMSON CLAW!! *slashes Shadowstrike*

Veemon: Watch out!! *takes the hit*

Shadowstrike: Huh?

Void: Way to go Shadowstrike, now he’s hostile.

Shadowstrike: Shut up and let’s take this thing down!

Rebel: Right. Island Attackers, ATTACK–

Renamon: Wait! Let us handle this.

Void: Are you sure?

Betamon: We should be protecting you guys–not the other way around!

Outlaw: Well if you insist… Should we just grab a couple of sodas and a tub of popcorn or something while we watch you guys duke it out?

Agumon X: Sure, why not?

Shadowstrike: Freaking sweet.

Devidramon: Dark Gale!! *fires beams from his eyes*

Renamon: Diamond Storm! *cancels the attacks*

Veemon: Vee-Headbutt!!

Devidramon: *Knocks Veemon out of the way*

Agumon X: Pepper Breath! *spits a fireball*

Devidramon: RAAAAAGHH!! *lets the attack hit him as he tackles into Agumon-X*

Agumon X: Ahhh!!

*The fight lasts like this for a while. By then the rest of the members had come in and let their Digimon fight*

Sean: Do you think anyone is actually winning?

Outlaw: I dunno they seem to be going back and forth. On the plus side if our Digimon win I am so totally gonna have a feast on that Devidramon.

*The rest of the members gag in disgust*

Rebel: Come on Dorimon!! Digivolve and beat the daylights outta that guy! YOU CAN DO IT!!

Metabad: Monodramon help him Digivolve! COMBINE YOUR DNA AND BECOME SUPER DOOPERMON!!

Monodramon: Are you stupid or something?! *gets pounded*

Metabad: BOY DID YOU JUST CALL MY MOMMA FAT? >:O

Dorimon: I’m just a baby, I can’t handle this kinda stress. *cries and gets kicked*

Void: This is ridiculous. One of our Digimon needs to Digivolve to a Champion level and just end this stupid fight.

Outlaw: How will that help?

Void: Please… everyone knows that in Digimon whenever the main Digimon manage to Digivolve the fight is practically over.

Patamon: Wait!! I feel it… I’m gonna Digivolve!

Majin: ZOMG NO WAI

Patamon: Yes… It’s coming…

Majin: !!!!!!!!!!

Devidramon: Black Bite! *bites Patamon turning it back into a Digi Egg*

Majin: WTF UR KIDDING ME

Rebel: All right. It looks like there has been a serious lack of motivation for these Digimon. We’re gonna provide it. Ready Metabad?

Metabad: AWWWWW YEAH!! *rawks*

Rebel: *rawks*

Monodramon: Oh, what the hell. *rawks as well and ends up Digivolving to Strikedramon*

Metabad: HECK YEAH!!

Strikedramon: All right, now who’s ready for a pounding?! STRIKE CLAW!!

*Strikedramon covers himself completely in flames as he rams into Devidramon, who releases a horrifying scream.*

Void: All right! C’mon, guys! If he can Digivolve so can the rest of you!

Betamon: He’s right!

Renamon: Let’s go.

*The rest of the Digimon, with the power of LOVE and FRIENDSHIP begin to Digivolve into their Champion forms, minus Dorimon and Patamon.*

Greymon X: Nova Blast!!

Seadramon: Ice Blast!!

Flamedramon: Fire Rocket!!

Kyuubimon: Dragon Wheel!!

*The combined attacks continually pound Devidramon until his body starts to fall apart, turning into data which is scattered and disappears.*

Greymon X: We did it!

Sean: Thank God that’s over with.

Shadowstrike: I’ll say, but man you kick some serious butt Flamedramon.

Flamedramon: Don’t I know it!

Metabad: STRIKEDRAMON MAN YOU RAWK LIKE TWICE NO THREE TIMES AS MUCH NOW!! *rawks*

Strikedramon: Get away from me.

Metabad: D:

Void: Well, I suppose you could have considered this a good chance to see what our Digimon were made of.

Rebel: Speak for yourself. Dorimon didn’t get any action… heck he still hasn’t reached Rookie form!

Dorumon: You called?

Rebel: Yeah Dorumon, we were just saying how you have yet to reach Rookie–wait. How did you transform?

Dorumon: A wizard did it?

Rebel: Makes absolute sense here.

Outlaw: I won’t question it.

Seadramon: Me neither.

Void: You guys… *sees something* What’s that?

Kyuubimon: It looks like a gem of some sort.

Void: *Picks it up* Hey, this is a Chaos Emerald! Well of all the chances.

Shadowstrike: Why would there be a Chaos Emerald here?

Void: It must have appeared when Devidramon entered through that portal.

Rebel: Awesome, now we can sell it for some cash.

Metabad: W00T!

*While the team members are discussing amongst themselves, they fail to see the four red eyes glowing in the darkness, watching them.*

Seadramon: Do you ever get the feeling that you are being watched, Outlaw?

Outlaw: All the time, especially when I’m in those sewers. Funny thing about that–one time I was swimming and I bit some giant ape and man oh man I couldn’t even see straight for three days after that. To this day I think that ape is watching me.

Seadramon: That’s not really what I meant…

Kyuubimon: …Something is there!

Devidramon: RAAAAAAAAAAGH!!

Everyone else: AHH!!

*Devidramon leaps forward, claws extended, preparing to kill everyone as they are caught off guard by the unexpected assault. Before it can get the chance, however, multiple pink beams of energy tear right through the Digimon, causing it scream in pain as it vanishes without a trace.*

Rebel: That thing survived?!

Void: Actually, it looked like there was a second one hiding. But I wonder who…?

*Before he can even ask a female Digimon and a lone man appear.*

Dark Knight: Looks like we made it just in time. Good work Lilamon!

Lilamon: You are very welcome.

Outlaw: Who’re you guys?

DK: The name’s Dark Knight, but you can just call me DK. This is my partner, Lilamon.

Lilamon: The pleasure is mine.

DK: I hope you don’t mind but I took your last Digi Egg in order to get her.

Void: Wait… that’s an Ultimate Level Digimon though. How did you manage to reach that level in such a short amount of time?

DK: The answer is that I have a love for Lily-chan!! But since I got a Lalamon I decided to convert that love for a Lila-chan! And with my PASSION and GUSTO I was capable of transcending it beyond normal means. Besides I just saved your hides thanks to it so why in the world are you complaining?

Kyuubimon: He speaks the truth.

Shadowstrike: So what do you want with us?

DK: Well other than obtaining Lila-chan nothing. But since you all seem to be missing a member I am tempted to offer my service to you.

Shadowstrike: Thanks, but I think we’ll–

Rebel: Welcome to the team!

Everyone else: Huh?

Rebel: Look, we don’t have time to be picky about who the heck joins. If that was the case I should have been shot for even thinking about letting Metabad join.

Metabad: YEAH!!

Dorumon: Then I guess we should welcome you to the team!

Majin: WHY

Majin: YOU

Majin: LEAVE

Majin: ME

Majin: PATPAT

Seadramon: Don’t worry, like all good Digimon he’ll be sure to come back by the time the next part rolls in.

Majin: kk

To be continued…

Dissed in the Digital World (part 1)

June 18, 2014

*Written by Jade*

Midday in Megalopolis, in front of a local Waffle House…

WAFFLE HOUSE MANAGER: Get out of here and don’t come back!!

The Alpha Movement is thrown out of the Waffle House.

JADE: Hey, try that again buddy! I dare you! We got you a special order of PAIN!!!

SEADRAGON: Yeah! We’ll chop, smother, and scatter your FACE, biatch!!!

Later at Maverick HQ:

VILE: You guys were stealing dishes… from Waffle House?

DARK KNIGHT: Um… Yeah.

VILE: That is the pettiest thing I’ve ever seen you guys do. Whatever. Sigma wants you guys. He and the mighty armadillo have some kind of super secret thing they want to show you guys.

BRICK: I just hope it’s more interesting than their last little project…

Flashback…

SIGMA: Hey. Do Pop Rocks and Coke really make your head asplode?

End flashback…

JADE: We spent at least a couple of days putting Sigma’s body back together. Boy was he pissed.

And so our anti-heroes make their way down to the main lab, Sigma is there, along with an assortment of small odd creatures inside a glass tube.

SPARK: What the hell? Are they supposed to be mutant sea monkeys or something?

SIGMA: Um, no Spark. These hatched from those eggs that I sent Sting here to go steal from D.A.T.S. headquarters a couple of days ago.

DARKSAGE: Huh. I thought you were just hungry for omelets or something.

BLACKBELT: Not quite. These aren’t for eating. These are digimon, a sort of digital AI creature that can take a physical form.

Dark Knight, having not been paying much attention, suddenly perks up.

SIGMA: We thought we’d perform a little experiment. See, these unique critters can evolve rapidly to adapt to their environments and social stress. Since the Maverick Virus is primarily a computer virus, I thought we’d see how these guys evolve when exposed to it, seeing as they are composed of computer data.

JADE: Hey. That’s a pretty cool idea.

BLACKBELT: Research has shown that digimon are most effective when paired with a human ?partner’. Reploids are close enough, I guess, so if all goes well, we will each receive one as our own partner.

Dark Knight flails his arms.

DARK KNIGHT: Oh! Oh! I call dibs on that one!!

He points to a small green and white digimon with black beady eyes and what looks like a small plant sprout growing from its head.

BLACKBELT: Our records we hacked from D.A.T.S. show that’s a Tanemon.

DARK KNIGHT: Yay!! I’m gonna get my very own Lily-chan!! (jumps up and down)

BRICK: What in tarnation are you going on about, boy?!

JADE: That flower chick that DK worships is a digimon. She supposedly evolves from that particular critter there.

SIGMA: Alright, compose yourself, Boomer. Okay then, let’s get started.

————————————————————–

Meanwhile, in a flying ship far above…

REBEL: Hey Void! We’re starting a game of Parcheesi. You in? (He taps on the door to Morph Moth’s lab) Hello? Awesome. He must be out. Let’s see what he’s got cooking.

He opens the door and goes through Moth’s room. He sees eight eggs sitting on a table at the end of the lab.

REBEL: What’s this? Void ordering dinosaur eggs though the mail again? I told him before that theme park idea wasn’t gonna work.

————————————————————–

As this is going on, a gateway opens in a seemingly remote land. Out from the portal spills two characters. A green-armored humanoid and a rotund man with a crazy mustache…

iX: What the hell?! I almost had those worthless peons! (He sees Eggman next to him) YOU!!! This is your entire fault! I just know it!!

EGGMAN: How is this my fault, you over-glorified toaster?! If you hadn’t been in such a rush for power, this never would have happened!!

iX: (Clenches his fists) How DARE you talk to me that way!! You’re nothing but a useless human!! I am God next to you!! I can kill you in but a millisecond!

He points his buster at the bad doctor. Eggman just crosses his arms.

EGGMAN: Go right ahead then. I dare you.

iX: (Sighs, lowering his buster) Luckily for you, I still have use for you. For starters, where the hell are we?

EGGMAN: Well, when the Chaos Emeralds went berserk, it appears that it initiated Chaos Control, which threw us through time and space to another dimension.

(These events occurred back in Alpha Movement’s epilogue, Crystal Chaos)

Suddenly, iX spots something; a small round pink creature with long ears.

iX: Hey, what’s that?

EGGMAN: Hm… I’m not sure. It reminds me of a Chao, but it’s quite different…

iX: I say we kill it!!

Before Eggman can say anything, iX raises his buster and blows the hapless creature away.

iX: Ahhhh… That felt good. Nothing like a good slaughter, eh Doc?

EGGMAN: No, you fool! If we captured it, we could’ve examined it and gotten a better sense of what world we ended up in!!

iX: Freakin’ buzzkill. I’m sure there’s plenty of these things around. (Sure enough, more of them are seen moving about from the other side of a nearby tree) See? Die, little critters! Squirm for me! Hehehehehee!!

EGGMAN: *Sigh* How’d I get stuck with this psycho…?

Suddenly, the sky grows dark.

iX: Huh? It sure gets dark fast around here.

EGGMAN: What a horrible night to have a curse…

iX: The hell are you babbling about, fleshy?

Before they can ponder this any further, the ground opens up beneath them and swallows them up. Eggman and iX adjust their eyes to the darkness and find themselves in an underground temple; one which seems to have been buried long ago.

EGGMAN: Now where are we?

To answer his question, the shadows of three beings emerge from the darkness…

???: Fellow creatures of darkness… welcome to the Digital World…

————————————————————–

Back in Megalopolis…

DARK KNIGHT: Evolve, damn you!! Evolve to Lily-chan!!

At his feet, a Palmon just looks at him with sad eyes.

JADE: Sheesh. These things don’t evolve overnight, Boomer. It takes time.

SEADRAGON: Seriously. See, that’s the thing about being so fast; you just can’t stand waiting for everything else to catch up with you, huh?

Jade is holding a ModokiBetamon, a green-yellow amphibious creature, petting it gently. A Piyomon roosts on Seadragon’s shoulder. Spark walks into the lounge as well, followed by an Elecmon, an otherwise furry creature with nine feathery tails.

SPARK: Hey, check this guy out. He’s got electrical attacks too! I hope he evolves into something badass, like Leomon.

DARK KNIGHT: You don’t want that, man. Leomon dies at the end of every series.

JADE: Yeah, I think he’s become the Kenny of the Digital World or something.

————————————————————–

iX: Alright. Tell me who the frick you guys are before I start shooting. Actually, you know what? I think I’ll shoot you anyway!

iX fires a plasma shot at one of the figures before him, but he raises his hand and deflects the buster shot. A flash of light erupts and reveals the three shadows. One looks like an old man with a long beard, one is a woman with several pairs of bat-like wings, and the third is a dragonoid creature with a mouth like an alligator’s.

BARBAMON: Careful, iX. It would be best that you don’t get on the bad side of the Seven Great Demon Lords.

iX: Pfft. All I see are a crusty old man, a goth chick, and Puff the Magic Dragon. Demon Lords, my ass. More like demon posers.

LILITHMON: Is that so? Despite what you say, our powers greatly exceed yours.

iX: Aww, what are you gonna do? Write me a poem about how you hate your life and you want to die? (Raises his buster) I can arrange that, sister!

Lilithmon swats the blast aside.

LILITHMON: Phantom Pain!

A dark mist flies from her hands that engulfs iX. He suddenly finds himself unable to move.

iX: Wha… How… are you this powerful?!

Meanwhile, Eggman is becoming very frightened; even iX is having trouble against these three.

EGGMAN: Wh… What do you want with us, then?

BARBAMON: We have called you here because we wish to form an alliance.

LEVIAMON: iX, you are a very powerful Reploid indeed. But I can feel your envy… Your jealousy for the one called Megaman X.

iX’s eyes narrow.

iX: Shut the hell up, Barney. I am NOT envious of that piece of crap.

LEVIAMON: Oh, but I think you are. Why else do you strive so hard to exceed him? It is because you are afraid. You are afraid he might be stronger than you. Stronger than you ever will be!

iX: Now you listen to me!! I am the mightiest Reploid in the universe!! X is weak!! And I’ll rip out anyone’s throat that says otherwise!

LILITHMON: (Giggles) You’re hardly in a position to be spouting threats, sweety.

BARBAMON: Ivo Robotnik, you too possess a great greed. Greed for power; the need to prove yourself. Well we can make it happen. Provide both of you with the power you have only dreamed of!

EGGMAN: And you want us to help you, right? What would the Demon Lords need us for?

BARBAMON: Well, as much as it pains me to admit it, we are not as strong as we once were. There were seven of us, now down to three. The other four; Lucemon, Demon, Beelzebumon, and Belphemon, had traveled to other dimensions in hopes of conquering them for us. But they had all been destroyed instead. It seems each dimension has those called “Chosen Ones”, young humans with a supernatural link with the digimon. This power is what enabled them to wipe out the other demon lords.

iX: In other words, you got your asses handed to you by a bunch of kids. You really suck.

LEVIAMON: You would do well not to underestimate the Chosen, iX. Our four compatriots did such and were defeated.

iX: Grrr… Alright… What exactly is it you want from us?

LILITHMON: We would like you to bring us to a new dimension to conquer. We have lied dormant in this world for many eons, but we aren’t strong enough to conquer it due to the Royal Knights…

EGGMAN: And who are they?

BARBAMON: Celestial servants of the digimon god, Yggdrasil. They are the ones who defeated us long ago and sealed us away.

LILITHMON: They are still watching over this world, and could destroy us now that we are down to a mere three. But back to the task at hand. Dr. Eggman, you have used the seven Chaos Emeralds to travel between time and space correct? With these, you should be able to assist us in passing to a new dimension where there are no goody-two-shoes to stop us.

iX: Piss off. No way you’re taking over my world! I already called dibs on it!

EGGMAN: So did I!

iX and Eggman glare at each other suspiciously.

BARBAMON: Who said it had to be the one you came from? There is an infinite number of dimensions out there. Help us, and we will give you the power you need to make all our dreams come true!

iX: Eh, what the hell, then. I seem to be in the habit of collecting power anyways.

LEVIAMON: We are aware of that, iX. We even know of the other dark lord that you currently serve…

iX: What?!

LEVIAMON: The one who revived you after your botched attempt at receiving the power of Limited, and endowed you with even grater dark power.

iX: How do you know about that??

BARBAMON: We know many things, dear iX. But beware; there is more to your pact that you aren’t aware of. There is one who will betray you…

iX: Give me a break! Like I care if one of them turns on me. I’ll waste his ass!

BARBAMON: I like your enthusiasm, iX. We are just giving you an ample warning; he is very powerful… and he could very well be a match for you if he catches you off guard…

iX: Whatever. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

EGGMAN: But about the Chaos Emeralds…

LILITHMON: We know. You lost most of them battling the Alpha Movement. But we can still help you recover the rest.

Eggman takes out a single shining gem.

EGGMAN: This is all I was able to recover. The others must’ve been spread through the dimensions when Chaos Control activated.

LEVIAMON: Then we shall assist you in finding the six others.

BARBAMON: Not only that, we have another who can help you. I have called him here as well; I was greatly impressed by his greed as well!

Another steps out from the shadows, this one being a human wearing an elegant business suit…

EGGMAN: What the hell’s he doing here??

DONALD TRUMP: What the hell are they doing here?? You two are FIRED!!

iX: Did someone say “fire”?! (Charges a Grand Fire)

LEVIAMON: Step down, both of you!! You will cooperate from now on, hear?

To be continued…

 


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