TV Turmoil pt. 1

*Written by Outlaw88 (me)*

*We join our hero’s relaxing in front of their small TV after a hard days work. Lots of repairs had to be done to their base after the last “cookie battle.” Magna, Overdrive, Moth, Flame, and Sponge are sitting on the couch. Crab is behind it and Snail is on top of the TV*

Snail: Is it working?

Overdrive: A little more to the left. No, your other left.

Snail: Remind me why I’m doing this.

Flame: You get better reception with your antenna.

Sponge: You sure are eating a lot of snacks there Magna.

Magna: I’m trying to *munch* spoil my appetite.

Moth: Why?

Magna: Because it’s Gator’s turn to cook tonight.

Everyone else: IT IS?!

Flame: Hey pass me some chips!

Overdrive: Popcorn, NOW!

Moth: Pass those my way!

Sponge: Fill me up on those sodas!

*They all pass around the various snacks*

Overdrive: Damnit, Snail fell asleep on the TV again.

Magna: Nothing good on anyway. All the stations look the same. *Flips through channels that show identical pictures*

Flame: Hey, they are the same! What is that?

Magna: Well I was watching re-runs of “I Love Lucy” when this annoying multi-colored screen came on.

Crab: Whoooo! This watch thing is so much fun!

Moth: Don’t play with that, it’s not a toy.

Crab: Now I’m Crab!

PBX: Now I’m not!

Crab: Now I’m Crab!

PBX: Now I’m not!

Crab: This

PBX: is

Crab: so

PBX: much

Crab: fun!!!

Crab/PBX: Yay! Hahahahahahahahah!!

Overdrive: Are you sure we can’t turn him off?

Sponge: We’ve tried. Trust me on that one.

Magna: Shh, the TV is going again.

*They all pay attention except for Snail*

TV Announcer: Attention viewers of the world! Are you ready for drama? Are you ready for action? Do you have the attention span of jello? Then you’ll love… THE APPRENTICE OF DOOM! All Trump all the time no matter where you go. And now the man himself has something to say.

Trump: Hello. For those of you who don’t know me I’m the boss of everything, Donald Trump. I have taken over every TV station in the world for my own enjoyment. I didn’t bother going after radio since most of you are too dumb to use it. My plan of global conquest has only begun! I’m a busy man so I’ll return you to your new programming and since most of you are brain-dead morons, it will consist of a picture of me for the next three weeks. Enjoy or be destroyed!

*The C:IA sit in stunned silence until…*

Crab: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

*Crab fires his weapon at the TV making it explode. Snail is thrown into air only to land on the couch, still asleep and unharmed*

Magna: Why the hell did you do that?!

Crab: Trump! Trump on TV! Must stop!

Overdrive: You could have just turned it off you know.

Sponge: This is a serious problem, though. All of the TV stations?

Flame: We need to do something.

Moth: Yeah Magna. You’re the leader, what do you want to do?

Magna: Nothing. Let’s just stay here and maybe things will turn out OK.

*Just then Gator emerges from the kitchen holding a large steaming pot*

Gator: Dinner’s ready.

Magna: On second thought, let’s go.

Flame: To stop…

Magna: ANYWHERE!

Gator: You’re going out? But I cooked my specialty, “Sewer Surprise.”

Moth: (Nobody say it, nobody say it, nobody say it…)

Crab: What’s the surprise?

*Moth slaps his forehead*

Gator: I have no idea what’s in it! That’s not the only surprise either, I got…

Overdrive: We can’t stay right now we… uhh.. Have to go get a new TV!

Gator: But I…

Sponge: We have a few errands to run too.

Gator: OK then. I can bring this on the van and–

Flame: NO! Uh, I mean that would spoil it. Besides we had a big lunch and we’re not that hungry.

Magna: Don’t worry about it. You go ahead and enjoy whatever it is that you made. We’ll be back later.

Gator: At least take this with you in case you get hungry. *Scoops some of the stew into a Tupperware container and hands it to Moth*

Moth: Eww… I mean thanks. *Puts it in pocket*

Crab: Bye fang-face!

*They rush out before Gator can say anything else*

Gator: And all that time I took to find stuff for it. Now I can’t share it.

Snail: Zzzzzz…Smell..ZzzzzZzz

Gator: Or maybe not! Hey Snail, you’ll love this…

*In the incredible van of the C:IA*

Overdrive: Whew, we got out of there just in time.

Flame: I’ll say. Who knows what you could get eating that stuff. I think I saw it move.

Moth: Now what?

Crab: We have to stop Trump!

Magna: Why should we? He’s not hurting anyone, just boring them to death.

Moth: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Crab is right. As hero’s we must stop Trump’s evil plan.

Sponge: Of Doom!

Flame: Doom?

Overdrive: Doom.

Magna: Stop that! Do you guys think we can just waltz into his TV station, filled with guards and other horrors, all probably lurking inside a storage room where they keep spare TV sets? Spare TV sets?! We could score a new TV!

Moth: Uh.. Sure if we have the time.

Magna: To Trump Station!

Sponge: Where is that anyway?

Flame: It’s in “Trumptopia” a few miles away.

Crab: Trumptopia?! Please tell me this is a nightmare!

Overdrive: How can this be a nightmare if you don’t sleep?

Crab: Oh yeah, I forgot.

Magna: OK there it is. Any plans on getting in there?

Moth: I’ve got one. Lets change into our alter ego’s, Trump’s guards won’t know it’s really us. We can then join the tour group.

Sponge: Once we’re inside what then?

Moth: We have to shut down his transmission and restore all the other stations, then destroy all of his stuff.

Overdrive: He’s rich you know, he can just buy more. What’s the point of that?

Moth: It will be both gratifying and fun. Then we will confront Trump to help Crab get over his phobia, and finally we bring Trump to justice.

Magna: And score a free TV!

Moth: …And score a free TV.

Crab: Yay plan! It’s good except for the confronting part. He’s too scary.

Magna: Alright everybody, transform and let’s get this show on the road.

*Void lands the van a few blocks away*

Rebel: There’s the tour, let’s go join it.

GDT: *Sarcastically* Oh this ought to be good. There’s a giant poster of Trump. PBX if you freak out I swear I will beat you so bad…

Void: Shut up the tour is starting.

Tour Guide: Welcome to Trump Studio’s where Donald’s dream of global conquest will finally come true. We will begin our tour by going through one of many of the rooms where we shoot hit TV shows.

*All part of the tour move in, they see many rooms with different sets, monitors, and the occasional studio staff. Things go smoothly until… *

Tour Guide: Before we go any further, does anybody have any questions?

Void: Yeah I do. How come it seems so deserted in here? Shouldn’t there be more people running this place?

Tour Guide: That’s because the boss keeps firing everybody. He will usually have a replacement ready but sometimes…

Tour Guide #2: Hey Joe, The boss told me to take over. Oh yeah he also said “You’re Fired!” Tough luck.

Tour Guide #1: But it was only my second day!

*Suddenly PBX begins to flicker and fade*

Ti-An: Uh guys..

Rebel: Now what?

Void: The batteries must be going dead. I told you not to play with that!

Crab: I couldn’t help it, you made it so fun.

Tour Guides 1 and 2: What the? Security! Intruders! Hey stop copying me. Quit it! *They start to fight each other*

GDT: Lets take this opportunity to get out of here.

*As the tour guides fight each other our hero’s take off and go into a door marked “Hall B.” There they revert back to their original form*

Overdrive: Nice going Crab! Now the whole building will be looking for us.

Crab: It’s not my fault Moth gave us crappy batteries!

Moth: Those should have lasted three years! How long were you doing that “Now I’m Crab, now I’m not” bit?

Crab: Two weeks during the daytime and every night since you gave it to me. I get bored when you guys are asleep.

Sponge: If we get out of here alive I vote we get him a board game or something.

Magna: Agreed. We might as well explore and try to find the storage room. I wonder if they have plasma screens lying around.

Flame: You mean find where the transmissions are coming from.

Magna: That too.

*The C:IA go down the hall. No doors or windows are around, just a winding path that they follow. Just as they round the corner…*

Magna: There has to be a door somewhere around here.

Moth: Do you hear that?

Flame: Hear what? That weird rattling sound?

Sponge: That’s Crab.

Crab: I have screws loose!

Overdrive: *Rolls eyes* You’re telling me.

Moth: No, not that. I think I hear voices. They sound familiar too.

Magna: Who would we find here that we would kno- *Bumps into Serges* Ow…

Serges: Huh?

Magna and Serges: AHHHHH! What are you doing here?

Overdrive: Man, that is getting creepy.

Flame: I thought D.T. fired you.

Serges: He did.

Agile: We came here to get the TV back on. Violen hasn’t stopped whining since they cut off “I Love Lucy” to display that stupid message.

Violen: I want my Lucy back! That was a good episode.

Magna: I know. Do you know which one it was?

Violen: It was the one where Lucy wants to go to the club but Ricky wouldn’t let her, Fred and Ethel show up for no reason, and Lucy does that really funny cry.

Sponge: Isn’t that every episode?

Serges: So what brings you here?

Moth: Stopping Trump, saving the world, restoring the rights of viewers everywhere. You know, the whole “hero” thing.

Magna: And to get a free TV! Stop forgetting that!

Flame: So we all have a common goal right now. We could work together.

Sponge: Are you crazy?

Crab: I might be.

Overdrive: We can’t trust them!

Serges: And we can’t trust you.

Agile: It will never work.

Violen: I WANT MY TV!!!!!

Magna: Um…. Temporary truce?

Serges: Oh very well.

*Magna and Serges shake hands*

Flame: So now what?

Moth: I guess we keep going until we find an exit or something. I’m pretty sure we are looking for a control room of some kind.

Guard: There they are! Get them!

*Guards surround the unlikely team of the C:IA and X-Hunters*

Serges: OK now what? Do we stand and fight, give up, or run like hell?

Magna: We do what any world-class heroes such as ourselves would do. We run.

Crab: Wait, I have an idea.

Overdrive: Oh no…

*Music blairs as Crab takes out a pack of Mentos and proceeds to eat one as the Mentos theme plays*

Crab: The Freshmaker!

Everyone else: ……………………..

Crab: What? You deny the power of the Freshmaker?

Guard: Idiot. Capture them men. *Gets slapped* And women!

*The team takes off down the hall dodging blasts from the guards weapons and returning fire with their own. They bust through a door and quickly go through one on the right*

Magna: Watch my ninja skills at work.

*Magna tosses a few balls into the hallway that emit a large cloud of dark smoke. Then he uses his powers to make a fire extinguisher fall in a room past the one they are in, fooling the guards. They pass where the team is and go off in all directions*

Sponge: That was a close one.

Flame: Now what do we do?

Magna: I’ve got an idea. I’ll use my magnetic powers to locate the strongest signal here. We follow that and we find the master control room.

*Magna gets into his usual pose and concentrates. He glows a bright yellow and promptly gets hit in the head by a crowbar that was attracted, knocking him down*

Moth: You OK?

Magna: *Groggy* MoRe OvAlTeAn PlEaSe…

Overdrive: *Snicker* Good one.

Sponge: What happened?

Serges: He used to much power and made himself a magnet.

Crab: *Chants* Somebodies got a dent..

Magna: Shut up! Let me try that again, just toned down this time.

*Magna once again gets into his meditative pose this time glowing faintly*

Magna: Got it. The strongest signal is coming from behind that door.

Agile: Well let’s get going before more guards show up.

*They all go through the door only to discover a hallway with nine doors and a dead-end*

Overdrive: Wonderful. Just wonderful. Our leader steers us to a dead-end.

Flame: Did we make a wrong turn somewhere?

Agile: Maybe that crowbar messed you up a bit.

Magna: No, I’m sure this is the way. It’s straight ahead but there’s a wall in the way.

Violen: I can fix that problem.

Moth: No! Don’t do that, we want to draw less attention to ourselves remember? You bash it with your mace and the whole building will know where we are.

Serges: So what do you suppose we do?

Crab: We could do the Hokey-Pokey!

Sponge: There’s nine doors and nine of us. Soooo…

Magna: Let’s split up gang!

Violen: No! I’ll get scared and lonely. I don’t wanna…

Serges: Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?

Violen: Oh boy, would I ever!

*Agile opens a door and Serges throws the snack into it. Violen rushes after it and they slam the door after him*

Flame: Riiiight.. Guess I’ll meet you guys at the control room.

Moth: If any of you get into trouble use your communicators.

Sponge: The signal is being jammed.

Moth: In that case run like crazy.

Crab: What if I run into Trump? I’ll freak out!

Agile: Just shoot at him or something. Oh yeah I forgot, you can’t. Cause you’re a sissy little.. *gets smacked by Serges*

Serges: *Whispers to Agile* Don’t anger them. We may need the help.

Magna: Good luck everybody.

*They go their separate ways. As Magna goes through the door he emerges upon a set that consists of a desk, couch, chair, a full audience and staff*

Magna: What in the world…

Oprah: Welcome back folks! I’m Oprah, super talk show host, and with me is the leader of the Code: Island Attackers: Magna Centipede!

Magna: Um… Hi.

Oprah: Isn’t he cute? This reminds me of the time when… blah..blah..blah… boring stuff… (You get the picture)

*Oprah talks non-stop*

Magna: I’m gonna leave before my ears start to bleed. *Goes through another door*

Dr. Phil: Hi, I’m Dr. Phil, have you come for my help?

Magna: Well that crowbar gave me one hell of a headache… And a dent…

Dr. Phil: Sorry I’m not that kind of Doctor. I can help you set a plan to lose weight though.

Magna: No thanks. Have you tried that weight loss program on yourself chubby?

Dr. Phil: What do you mean? I’m not chubby, the plan works! It… AHHHHHH!!! *Sob* I’m a fraud, a shame! I’ve led people astray! *Cries*

Magna: So much for this show..

*Next room*

Jerry Springer: Today on Jerry Springer: “Giant Bugs and the Women Who Love Them!”

Magna: I like this topic! C’mere ladies!

*A group of the ugliest trailer-park trash comes up on stage*

Magna: Now this is wrong. Does at least one of you have all their teeth? And I don’t know if this is possible but you smell worse than Gator after his sewer hunts.

Jerry: That’s not all folks, because here comes the jealous boyfriends.

*Before Magna has time to react he is hit in the head with a chair*

Crowd: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Jerry: That looked like it hurt. Now for my final thought.

Magna: You can say that again. *Bashes Jerry into the enraged red-necks and dashes out the door*

Magna: *Pant pant* Please let this be something good. I’m tired of these crappy morning talk shows.

Jay Leno: Then how about the Tonight Show?

David Letterman: No, I think he really wants to be on Late Night.

Conan O’Brien: You mean my Late Night right?

Letterman: No, you red-headed fool. Mine.

Leno: Forget it, he’s going on my show.

Magna: Listen guys, I don’t have time for…

Letterman: He’ll be on my show! He needs to do the Top Ten with me.

Leno: Oh please, that tired old thing? Now Headlines and Jay Walking on the other hand..

O’Brien: Triumph wants to mess with him.

Leno: That dog that pissed off Canada? No way!

O’Brien: Can I at least do my talking pictures bit?

Letterman: Yeah that’s OK… But Magna will still go on my show.

Leno: No. Mine.

O’Brien: Mine!

Letterman: Mine!

Leno: Tell you what, lets let him decide. OK Magna, who’s show do you..

*Everyone looks around only to find Magna has left*

Leno: Where’d he go?

Triumph: All the shows are great.. FOR ME TO POOP ON!

Magna: *Running down a corridor* (I sincerely hope somebody has it worse than I do. What a bunch of nut-jobs!)

*Meanwhile…*

Overdrive: (Now’s my chance to prove that I should be the true leader. Then we can stop this stupid kid stuff like playing “hero.”)

*As Overdrive goes through the door he sees a street corner. The door slams and locks behind him*

Overdrive: Damn! Don’t tell me I wound up outside?! *Looks up* No, I’m still inside, I can see all the lighting equipment. This must be some kind of set.

Elmo: Hi Big Bird! What are…. Hey, you’re not Big Bird!

Overdrive: AHHH! Don’t sneak up on me like that.

Elmo: What have you done to Big Bird? Everybody come!

Overdrive: Listen, I didn’t do anything, I just got here. Honest.

*The rest of Sesame Street surrounds Overdrive*

Grover: Villains need to be punished.

Bert: Let’s poke him with my paper clips!

Ernie: And let Rubber Duckie taunt him. *Squeak squeak*

Oscar the Grouch: No one gets away with hurting Big Bird!

Overdrive: I DIDN’T!!

*Just then the real Big Bird shows up*

Big Bird: What’s going on everybody? Are we having a party?

Overdrive: Thank God you’re here! They were going to… I don’t know, but it was really creepy!

Big Bird: …Another giant yellow talking bird. You know what that means boys and girls? Someone is trying to replace me. Get him!!!!

Overdrive: Holy Hell! *Takes off at full speed but stops short* Wait a minute. What am I running from? It’s just a bunch of stupid puppets.

*As the residents of Sesame Street run towards him, Overdrive lets loose a barrage of Sonic Slicers*

Grover: My arm! Gone it is!

Elmo: Ahhhhh! Elmo on fire!

*Such was the fate of the rest of them. And for good measure Overdrive set the entire place on fire*

Overdrive: Now that was gratifying. I hope the next door takes me to the control room. I hate kid shows. *Goes through door*

Barney: Look who’s here today kids! It’s Overdrive Ostrich. Isn’t he neat?

Overdrive: Aww man, this is much worse than crazed puppets… Muppets… Whatever.

Barney: Lets sing the “I Love You” song.

Overdrive: I have a better idea. Lets see how easy it is to make a Dinosaur extinct.

*Overdrive rushes by at blinding speed. A few moments later Barney’s head falls to the floor, followed by the rest of him a few seconds later*

Overdrive: I just did the world a favor. Please let this be it.

*Opens door. A grassy hillside is what it reveals*

Overdrive: This is a bit better than that classroom that abomination was in. At least I can sprint in here to cover some ground.

*Overdrive takes off running. He goes for a while until he comes to a strange dome-like structure*

Overdrive: I wonder what this thing is.

*As if in answer the Teletubbies pop out of it.*

Teletubbies: Play! Play! Play!

Overdrive: (Hmmm let’s see. I burned down Sesame Street and decapicitated Barney. What should I do to these guys? Oh I know!)

*Overdrive throws a Sonic Slicer into the gut of each Telitubby. The Slicers explode like bombs making the Tubbies do the same, littering the field with their parts*

Overdrive: Heh. Cool. *Walks through the next door*

Captain Kangaroo: Hi Overdrive.

Overdrive: *Sigh* Look “Captain” I’m getting tired of this, so unless you want to end up like the rest of them you’ll tell me how to get to the control room.

Captain: Of course. It’s through that door down the hall.

Overdrive: *Kinda surprised* Hey thanks. That’s the most helpful thing to happen all day.

Captain: No problem.

*Overdrive exits. After he leaves the Captian pulls out a cell phone*

Captain: He’s on his way sir. Everything is going as planned. Though we are going to need a new lineup. Mwahahahahahahah!!!!

To Be Continued…

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