TV Turmoil pt. 2

*Written by Outlaw88*

*The moment Agile walks through the door he is handed a football.*

Agile: Huh? *is tackled by an entire football team*

Referee: *Blows the whistle*

Agile: Ouch…

Referee: You didn’t run. You need to when I hand you the ball.

Agile: What?! Why?

Referee: How else will they get running practice?

Agile: But…

*The ref blows the whistle and gives Agile the ball. The team rushes at him.*

Agile: AHHHH! *Takes off running* There has to be a way out of here. Ah, there’s a door!

*Agile reaches the door but before he goes in he tosses the football at the ref who is stupid enough to catch it. The team tackles the ref.*

Agile: Hah! Serves you right for messing with a X-Hunter. Now to find the control roo–woahhh!!

*Agile slips and slides on ice as he steps through the door. He finally gets his balance.*

Agile: Please let this be figure skating. *is hit with a puck* Why me?

*He tries to run but ice isn’t good for that. He is bashed around a few times by the hockey players until one hits him so hard with his stick he is sent across the room through another door*

Agile: Now I know how the puck feels. Hmmm, I’m in a ring. It must be boxing! I can do that, with my superior speed I can out punch anyone!

*Just then Strong Bad and Strong Mad show up.*

Agile: Hah! Pro-wrestling? Piece of cake. It’s all fake anyway right?

Strong Mad: RAHHHHH!

Strong Bad: What the crap? I think it’s time you learned the ropes. Heh.

*The Brothers Strong proceed to beat up, pile-drive, clothesline, and suplex Agile. A few power bombs later Agile crawls through the exit which leads through a green field.*

Agile: Whoever said wrestling is fake has never been choke-slammed through two tables and had a steel chair cracked on their head. Now where am I? *gets hit in the head with a golf ball*

Tiger Woods: Fore!

Agile: A little late there Tiger.

Tiger: Wow, you look awful. What happened to you?

Agile: I ran into a nasty tag-team. Can you help me? I’m looking for the control room for this studio.

Tiger: Sure! *sets up Agile for his uber swing*

Agile: NO! Not like tha–*WHACK*–AAAAAAAAAAAAT!

*Agile is hit so hard not only does he reach the door he goes through it. Splintering the wood and sending debris everywhere.*

Agile: Medic! Reploid down! Ohhh, this is going to be a long crawl.

*When Bubble Crab went through the door he chose he emerged upon a large laboratory. Filled with machines of all shapes and sizes as well as bottles of chemicals everywhere he looked.*

Crab: Wow, Moth would love this place. I wonder what these buttons do? Ohhh shiny red button!

*Before he could press it a little red-headed kid with glasses jumps up out of nowhere.*

Kid: Stop! Don’t touch that!

Crab: Who are you?

Dexter: I am Dexter–boy genius. Creator of all you see here. Who are you?

Crab: I’m Bubble Crab–insomniac. Sayer of stupid stuff.

Dexter: Insomniac huh? I have a potion that makes you sleep.

Crab: You do? Really? Can I have it?

*Just then Deedee enters and starts to break stuff.*

Dexter: Tell you what. Get my stupid sister out of here and I’ll give you the sleep potion.

Crab: Sounds like a good deal to me. Hey Deedee, stop!

*Crab chases Deedee all over the place occasionally firing a few bubbles to try and slow her down. Both cause lots of damage.*

Crab: Deedee c’mere. I got some leftover cookies.

Deedee: Cookies? Yay!

Crab: That’s my line.

*Crab gives her a cookie. While she eats it he puts her in a bubble. He then kicks it out of the lab into the house where she floats up to the ceiling fan.*

Dexter: Thank you Crab but… You did more damage than Deedee!!

Crab: But I did get rid of her. A deal is a deal.

Dexter: *Sigh* Alright. *hands Crab the potion*

Crab: *Puts it in his pocket*


Crab: Okie-dokie.

*Crab exits through a hole in the wall that he created. He finds himself on a grassy plain. A lake is the only visable difference.*

Crab: I don’t see anything here. I wonder if this is the show where we watch grass grow? I also wonder why I’m talking to myself.

*Goku appears*

Goku: Your evil stops here!

Crab: What evil?

Goku: Don’t play dumb.

Crab: I wish I wasn’t….

Goku: Fess up. You know what you did!

Crab: Ok, ok I admit it. I was the one who smeared grape jelly on all of Magna’s ninja stuff, messed up Flame’s Lunar game, prank called Ozzy Osborne from Moth’s phone, ate Overdrive’s ham sandwich, broke Gator’s CD player, put itching powder in Snail’s shell, and added super extreme hot sauce in Sponge’s water. I can’t help it. At two A.M. stuff like that seems fun.

Goku: You’re even worse than I thought. I’m going Super Sayian now.

*Goku begins to power up. Crab gets ready. Several minutes go by.*

Crab: You done yet?

Goku: This usually takes a few episodes to do.

Crab: I can’t wait for that! I have trouble waiting for toast to be ready. I’m out of here.

Goku: No wait, I wanna fight!

*Crab jumps into the lake*

Goku: Damn… Now what do I do? Ah well. *Begins to do battle with himself*

*As Crab floats to the bottom he has a moment of clarity.*

Crab: (Hmmm I sure do some crazy stuff at night. Good thing the guys don’t know it was me. Maybe I should try to stop all that. Maybe if I cut down my caffeine intake I could…) Ohhhh! A pineapple under the sea!

*When Crab lands on the bottom, the man himself Spongebob Squarepants greets him.*

Spongebob: Hiya Mr. Krabs! You look different.

Crab: I’m not “Mr. Krabs”, I’m Bubble Crab. You know you’re the second sponge I know.

Spongebob: Bubbles? I love blowing bubbles!

Crab: Me too!

Spongebob: Want to make some shapes with them?

Crab: Yay shapes!

*They proceed to do the whole bubbles blowing thing as seen on the show.*

Crab: That was fun.

Spongebob: Wanna sing the Fun Song? F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me N is for…

Crab: Not singing the Fun Song. I’m sorry, but I have to meet with my other friends and my worst enemies in this control room thingy place where there are lots of buttons for me to push. Do you know how to get there?

Spongebob: Sure, just over the hill and through a tunnel. Then you need to surface. That’s the way out of Bikini Bottom anyway, I’m not sure where to go from there.

Crab: Ok thanks. It’s been fun, I’ll always watch your show.

Spongebob: Bye new friend!

*Crab follows the directions Spongebob gave him. When he surfaces he finds himself in a wooded area.*

Crab: This is weird. Weirder than that time when I ate dog food and saw cats trying to get me.

Bugs Bunny: You’re messed up Doc.

Crab: AHH! *Jumps half a mile* Don’t do that!

Bugs: Nervous? This should calm you down. *puts a lit stick of TNT in Crabs mouth*

Crab: I don’t smoke. And neither should you kids, it’s bad for you! *Wink* Besides, this isn’t… *BOOM* That wasn’t funny.

Bugs: You’re fine. This is a cartoon, nobody really gets hurt.

Crab: Really? Then this shouldn’t do anything. *kicks Bugs in the groin*

Bugs: ‘Cept… that…

Crab: Heh, I got that wascawy wabbit.

*Bugs hits Crab with a giant mallet.*

Crab: OW! That wasn’t nice..

Bugs: Well, kicking below the belt ain’t cool either.

Crab: Do you know where the control room is?

Bugs: It’s just over that hill. But watch that first step.

Crab: Thanks Bugs, you’re the best. Even though I like Daffy more. *Goes over the hill and falls off a cliff*

Bugs: Don’t mention it.

Crab: AHHHHHH!!! Where’s Superman when you need him?! AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

*As Moth flutters through the hall his door revealed.*

Moth: (Geeze why did Magna have to hog the chips. I’m starving. And while I think about it why did we ever assign Gator to cooking? We’d be safer eating road kill. When we get home I’m taking him off that and putting him on cleaning.. No. he’d use sewer scum, hmmm he could eat the garbage.. yeah that could work) *stomach growls* ( I wonder where I am anyway.) Hello?

Studio Guy: Hey your needed on set 5 right now.

Moth: Huh? Me?

Studio Guy: Just go. *Shoves Moth*

Moth: What’s going on?

Studio Guy: Stand here and wait a minute.

Moth: I don’t like this.

Announcer: From Trumptopia it’s time to play Wheel of Fortune! Here are our hosts: Pat Sajak and Vanna White!

Pat: Hey there everybody. Before we begin just take a look at Vanna tonight! Wearing seven different outfits all made from the best material in the world. Vanna why are you wearing so many?

Vanna: They were all so nice I decided to wear them all.

*Moth takes off at Vanna and snatches one of the dresses and gobbles it down.*

Vanna: EEEK!

Moth: Mmmm… silky. What? Don’t look at me like that, I am a moth you know.

Pat: Get him out of here!

Moth: I’ll let myself out. Thanks for the meal.

*Moth goes through a door marked “J”.*

Announcer: This is Extended Player Jeopardy! Meet our contestants: A rapper, actor and all around cool guy Snoop Dog, A scientist specializing in trash research, Morph Moth, and our returning champions. The smartest men in the universe Stephen Hawking and Ken Jennings. Now Alex Trebek!

Alex: Thank you. Players get ready. All of you are good at this so it should be an interesting game.

Snoop: Fo’ shizzle.

Hawking: Ready. To. Play.

Ken: Ok now this is where I have to draw the line. Extended Jeopardy? Tell you what, call this the celebrity game and I can go home for a day. Lets keep it to three ok?

Alex: See, he is smart! Ok, see you tomorrow.

Moth: (This should be a piece of cake. With Ken leaving all I have to do is disable Stephen’s super chair so he can’t talk and I can win this no problem.) *uses powers to disable chair* My time to shine at last!

*A few rounds later…*

Moth: (I can’t believe it. Snoop Dog is beating me. He really can do everything.)

Snoop: I’ll take Playboy Playmate History for $500.

Moth: I’m out of here. *leaves through door marked F*

Joe Rogan: Welcome to Fear Factor!

Moth: I hate this show.

Joe: Today we will suspend these two crazy people and reploid from a helicopter by their feet. Then we will slowly cut the rope. After that we’ll have a bug eating contest!

Moth: Excuse me?

*The Fear Factor crew ties ropes to the contestants legs and then the chopper takes off.*

Joe: Ok, now cut the ropes!

*They do so and the people go down screaming. Moth however simply remains flying.*

Joe: Hey you didn’t fall!

Moth: I can fly you idiot. This is such a stupid show, all you do it torture people just to entertain others. What would happen if somebody got hurt?

Joe: Ah, don’t worry about it. It’ll never happen.

Contestants: *Splat*

Joe: Uh-oh…

Moth: I hope you get cancelled. *flies into the next room where he sees the most rabid audience ever*

Announcer: It’s the Price is Right!

Moth: Oh no! That means that walking dead Bob Barker is here isn’t it?

Barker: Yup! Remember to Spade and Neuter your pets. I was attacked by a pack of dogs the other day, I think they were angry at me for saying that for 33 years, but oh well. Let’s play! Morph Moth come on down!

Moth: Do I have to?

Barker: If you want to get out of here, yes.

Moth: Alright, let’s get this over with.

Barker: Spin the wheel.

Moth: I think I already ruined that show.

Barker: No, not that wheel, the Prize Wheel!

Moth: I don’t really wanna… Hey, is that a super power converter? Is that a prize?

Barker: It sure is! Give it a shot and see if you can win it.

*Moth spins the wheel.*

Barker: Ohh… it landed on the “nothing” spot. But as a consolation prize, here’s a can of tuna.

Moth: *Sarcastic* Great… Can you tell me where the control room is?

Barker: Right past the cars you didn’t win… Ha!

*Moth goes through the door.*

Moth: *Grumbling* I’ll never watch another game show as long as I live. It’s all rigged anyway.

*Instead of a normal door, the way Serges chose turns into a Stargate sending him into a beam of some kind. This takes him to…*

Serges: What happened?

Kirk: Welcome to the Starship Enterprise.

Serges: Man, that beam did a number on my back. I’m an old reploid you know, and I can’t take all that shaking.

Spock: I’ll have Scotty fix that.

Scotty: I donnn’t have the powerrrrr! *Eats a doughnut*

Serges: Right… I’m looking for a control room. Not for this ship but for the station.

Kirk: Why? To shut us down?

Serges: No, of course not. To do… uh… maintenance?

Kirk: Fair enough.

Spock: Sir, I detect he’s lying.

Serges: Shut up, pointy ears.

Darth Vader: Join the Dark Side!

Serges: Vader? Aren’t you in a movie series not even remotely related to this show?

Darth Vader: Yeah, but I needed the work.

Kirk: Get the phasers, let us stop the evil one!

Spock: Right Captain.

Serges: I’ll just be going now. *Opens the door and causes the whole set to collapse when he slams it*

Kirk: Cheap set…

*The door leads to an ally in a dark city style set. The moment he walks towards the street a black car pulls up and he is thrown into the backseat.*

Mulder: Were you followed?

Serges: I don’t think so. Who are you and where are you taking me?

Scully: Quiet. We need answers first.

Mulder: For starters who are you and what are you doing here?

Serges: I’m Serges of the X-Hunters and I’ve come to get the TV going again.

Scully: Hmm… interesting. Go on.

Serges: To do so we, my teammates and this group of idiots, must get to the control room to shut down Trump’s signal and restore the other stations.

Mulder: Did you say Trump? Ha! I knew there was a connection!

Serges: Well duh! He owns this place.

Scully: I must admit Mulder, I thought your theory on Trump being an alien experimenting with zombies and subliminal messages was far-fetched at best, but I’m starting to believe.

Mulder: Of course he’s an alien, how else can you explain that hair?

Serges: What? I’m not following you guys on this…

Mulder: And just think Scully, a tv station would be the perfect place to do those experiments. He could do all sorts of mind altering things, like… dancing potatoes!

Serges: He has his own show you moron. It’s in its 88th season.

Scully: Do you suppose he may try to lure people to experiment on by using the scent of corn?

Serges: ???

Mulder: Yes corn! To feed the rabid babies!

Serges: I have no time for your ridiculous theories and idiotic drivel. Let me off here… I see the way.

*They let him off and continue to go back and forth on their crazy theory.*

Serges: Now I see how nut-houses stay open. Corn… Ha! I would use the power of cheese and get that Dairy Fairy along with that Dairy Queen to rule the world! Or at least make it hard on those lactos intolerent people. *exits*

*The room Wire Sponge enters is a strange one. Mainly because there was nothing there. No furniture, no pictures, windows, no carpet, nothing. Just another door across the room.*

Sponge: This is odd. *Goes over to the other door and discovers that it’s locked* Damn.

Voice: Oh it’s not going to be that easy my friend.

Sponge: Who said that?

*Sponge whirls around to find the room still empty. He looks all around trying to find a camera or a speaker but finds none.*

Sponge: Weird. *Tries the door again*

Voice: Don’t you want to try a McDonald’s Big Mac? I’m lovin’ it!

Sponge: Who are you? Where are you?

Voice: Not interested? Then how about a Whopper? Burger King let’s you have it your way!

Sponge: Answer me!

Voice: No. You answer me first. You tell me and I tell you.

Sponge: *Sigh* I wouldn’t like either. Now who are you?

Voice: I’m the Uber-Advertiser! Not a meat person? On a low-carb diet? Try a delicious sub at Subway! Eat Fresh. Or try a salad at Wendy’s.

Sponge: I’m a plant, I don’t eat food. Now where are you?

U.A.: All around all the time. Here I have more of a voice to reach the people, or in your case Reploid plant. Miracle  Grow can help you stop weeds.

Sponge: I don’t have time for this.

U.A.: Try an ice-cold Pepsi or a refreshing Coca-Cola!

Sponge: *Gets idea* Which one is better?

U.A.: Huh?

Sponge: You heard me. If I were to buy a soda which one should I choose?

U.A.: Coke! No wait Pepsi! No wait… Always Coca-Cola… Pepsi for those who think young… Sprite obey your thirst, Do the Dew…

*While the U.A. goes on rambling, Sponge uses his vines to slide under the door and unlock it from the other side. He exits the room.*

Sponge: Stupid advertiser. Trying to trick me with soda. That’s Magna’s thing.

U.A.: That was a dirty trick you know.

Sponge: Ah! Go away! I’ve got to get to the control room!

U.A.: No. I’m not leaving until I find something you want that you can order with a credit card.

Sponge: I don’t own a credit card.

U.A.: You don’t? Really?

Sponge: Yeah. Too broke for that…

U.A.: Want to sign up for Washington Mutual?

Sponge. No…

U.A.: How about a Verizon Wireless Phone?

*Just then the Verizon Wireless Phone Guy shows up.*

Guy: Can you hear me now? Good!

Sponge: Hey, follow him! He loves to spend money!

*Sponge takes off down the hall and much to his relief the voice of the Uber-Advertiser does not follow.*

Sponge: *Whew* (Man am I glad to be rid of him. Lucky thing that annoying phone guy showed up. Now on to the control room!)

*Suddenly ads start to appear along the walls. Some feature cars and other vehicles, while others show various products and medication.*

Sponge: This is worse than pop-up ads. No… nothing is worse than that. *goes on, ignoring the ads and goes through a door*

Duck: Aflac!

Sponge: Shut up!

*When Flame opened his door he comes across a telporter and a dead-end.*

Flame: Guess I have no choice but to see where this leads.

*Steps on the teleporter but nothing happened.*

Flame: Hmm… Thats discouraging. What’s wrong with this thing? Here’s the problem. It was unplugged. *plugs it in and it instantly teleports him to…*

Steve: Welcome boys and girls, I’m Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter comin’ to you live from Australia! Today I’m just going to look around for things ta poke and piss off. Oh look, a wild stag! Isn’t he a beaut?

Flame: Did you say Australia? Wow that took me far.

Steve: It’s even one of those talking kinds! Let’s try ta catch it and poke it with this stick.

Flame: Uh no, that won’t be necessary. Can you tell me… You’re not listening, are you?

Steve: He’s makin’ a lot o’ noise, not sure what the li’l bugger wants.

Flame: (He’s tuning out what I say because he thinks I’m a wild animal… I’ve got an idea!) *dashes behind a rock and transforms*

Steve: I think he went this way. Hey you! Did ya see a Stag trot by?

Ghaleon: What stag? Did he have fire on his head?

Steve: Yeah!

Ghaleon: Was he tall?

Steve: Yeah, yeah!

Ghaleon: Did he have a long white face?

Steve: Yeah! That’s the one!

Ghaleon: No, I haven’t seen him.

Steve: Crikey!

Ghaleon: Yeah, sorry about that. Anyway can you help me?

Steve: Sure I can, what do ya… Shhh! Do ya hear that?

Ghaleon: *Whispers* No. What’s the matter?

*Suddenly Steve leaps behind Ghaleon and grab a snake.*

Steve: Looky boys and girls, it’s a deadly cobra! Let’s piss him off and watch him spit venom!

Ghaleon: Who are you talking to?

Steve: Them of course.

Ghaleon: Uh… yeah. Say, isn’t poking that snake a tad stupid?

Steve: Eh, I guess you’re right. *tosses the snake* I really want ta hunt croc.

Ghaleon: I know a gator. *Suddenly has Steve’s full attention*

Steve: A gator? What kind?

Ghaleon: I think he was built in Florida…

Steve: Really? How big?

Ghaleon: Pretty big I guess. He’s one of my roommates.

Steve: You live with him?! Does he talk like that stag did?

Ghaleon: Tell you what, you tell me where the next teleporter is and I’ll tell you what you want to know. Deal?

Steve: Crikey!!

Ghaleon: I’ll take that as a yes. Ok, his whole name is Wheel Gator and he lives on an island with the rest of us and together. We are the Code: Island Attackers. He likes to swim in the sewer, which is where he does a lot of hunting, he owns a tank but it’s busted right now, and he’s into music.

Steve: What a catch he would make! The next teleporter is behind those bushes there.

Ghaleon: Thanks. (I wonder if I just did a stupid thing? Nahh, that idiot will never find our island. He’ll be too busy poking scorpions and getting mauled by badgers and marmots to bother us.) *Finds the teleporter and steps on it, sending him back to the studio*

Steve: Heh, that stag doesn’t fool me, I could smell ‘im. A Wheel Gator… Must be the rarest kind! We’re off on an adventure boys and girls!

*After blindly leaping after the snack, Violen begins to cry.*

Violen: I want to go home. This place is scary, worse yet I’m still missing “I Love Lucy!”

*Suddenly the hallway lights up.*

Violen: Thats a little better. *Gets up and begins to walk down the hall*

Voice: Violen…

Violen: Who’s there?

Voice: Come here my friend.

Violen: Ohhhhh…

Voice: Please come here. I promise it will be ok.

*Reluctantly Violen follows the voice and comes to a thing of wonder. There were his favorite TV characters Lucy and Ricky, still in black and white.*

Violen: Lucy! Ricky! What are you guys doing here?

Lucy: We are your guiding light Violen.

Ricky: We all are.

*More tv stars of yesteryear appear.*

Violen: Wow. Hey, aren’t a lot of you dead? What’s going on, why are you helping me?

Ricky: Lucy, you got some ‘splainin’ to do.

Lucy: It’s true that many of us are long gone, but with re-runs still going strong our spirits will never die. It’s fans like you who keep us alive.

Fonz: Eeeeeyyy!

Curly: Nyuck-nyuck-nyuck!

Larry: Hey shut up, she’s talking.

Moe: You shut up.

Violen: This is awesome! I’ve always dreamed of meeting you guys. But why help me? I’m a bad guy.

Don Knots: But Trump is worse! That rapschalion has taken over all the stations including the ones that air our shows.

Samantha: You have to beat him for us, or my nose won’t twitch anymore.

Violen: I can’t. I’m such a loser.

Beaver: I was too, but all you have to do is believe in yourself.

Hawkeye: Thats right. You have to use what you have.

Lassie: Woof!

Violen: Thanks everybody. I’ll fight for you as best I can.

Lucy: Fantastic! Here take this with you. *gives Violen a gold chain* Use this when things look bleak.

Violen: How do I use it?

Lucy: You’ll know when the time comes. Now off you go. Lassie here will guide you. Take him girl, you know the way.

Lassie: Ruff!

*Violen follows Lassie down the hall. He waves good-bye to those that remain. They wave back as they slowly begin to fade and disappear.*

Violen: Wow. I’ll fight for you Lucy! I’ll get all the shows back. Lead on Lassie!

*Ghaleon is teleported to a room with several doors.*

Ghaleon: What a trip. *Looks around* Well this can’t be where I started, I only count six doors.

*Magna comes in.*

Magna: Damn! I thought I would never get out of there. I had to fight off Rosie and Regis while they were having a stupid-off.

Ghaleon: I went to Australia somehow.

*Serges comes in.*

Serges: Did you run into any trouble?

*Moth flies in.*

Moth: Where is everybody?

Magna: Just wait a bit.

Ghaleon: I was here first, I can’t believe I beat you guys here.

*Overdrive comes in grinning.*

Moth: I know that look. What did you do?

Overdrive: Oh nothing. Just had a good time that’s all.

*Sponge comes in followed by a duck.*

Sponge: Go away!

Duck: Aflac!

Serges: Where’s my team? Don’t tell me they got lost.

*A door opens slowly and Agile crawls out.*

Magna: Geez, what happened to you?

Overdrive: You look like you were hit by a bus.

Agile: It feels that way too. Can somebody please fix me? I’m starting to see things.. Ohh flying hamsters….

Ghaleon: Hamptaro?

Sponge: Dude!

Ghaleon: What? I like that show. It’s…. cute.

Moth: *Fixing Agile* Anybody seen Crab?

Serges: Or Violen? There’s only one door left.

Overdrive: I’m sure they’ll drop in.

*Suddenly a hole appears in the ceiling above Overdrive and Bubble Crab falls on top of him.*

Crab: Now that was fun! I wanna do it again!

Ghaleon: Overdrive? You ok?

Overdrive: FINLAND!

Duck: Aflac!

Crab: Hey a duck. Lets eat him, it’ll be better than KFC!

Duck: Ahhhh! *Runs away*

Magna: You’re not back for more than two seconds and already I want to kill you.

Crab: It’s a gift.

Sponge: So how did things go?

Moth: *Finishes fixing Agile* Rather not talk about it.

Agile: Same here.

Magna: Ditto.

Flame: *Transforms back* No comment.

Crab: I was a cartoon.

Serges: Sure you were, and I’m Jerry Seinfeld.

Crab: Yadda yadda yadda.

*Serges slaps his forehead.*

Agile: Where’s Violen? Big idiot probably got lost.

Serges: Either that or he’s sitting in a corner crying.

*Just then Lassie walks through the last closed door. Violen bumps into it then opens it. Everyone is in stunned silence.*

Violen: Look guys, I found my guiding light!

Lassie: Bark!

Overdrive: That bump on the head must have been worse than I thought.

Moth: No, I see it too.

Sponge: Is that a ghost?

Violen: Kinda. It’s the spirit of Lassie and she’s here to help us.

Flame: How?

Violen: By leading us to the control room so we can restore all the stations.

Magna: Works for me.

Serges: Let’s go then. I want this to be over as soon as possible.

*The group follows Lassie through the winding corridors.*

Flame: Don’t you think it’s weird that we’re following a ghost dog?

Sponge: I’ve dealt with worse today.

Crab: Maybe we should call the Ghost Busters.

Violen: Don’t you dare.

*Lassie leads them to a large room filled with equipment. The control room at last.*

Lassie: Bark, woof!

Violen: Thanks Lassie!

Magna: Smartest dog in the world.

Serges: Thank you Lassie, your show will always be watched at our house.

Crab: I thought you lived in a dumpster.

Agile: We did but the rent was too expensive so we moved.

*Slowly Lassie begins to fade.*

Violen: Goodbye, I’ll see you again on Nick-at-Night! Save Timmy for me.

*Everyone waves good-bye.*

Overdrive: Guys… Do you see what I see? *points to a door marked “Hall A”*

Sponge: That’s where the tour was headed. We took the long way.

Magna: *Angry* Crab…

Crab: What?

Moth: Stop it guys. *Goes over to a computer and sits down.* Right. Now that we’ve found it lets shut it down.

Overdrive: All right! Time to blow stuff up!

Sponge: Not yet.

Flame: We have to restore all the other stations first.

Overdrive: Damn.

Moth: Keep a watch for guards while I mess with this thing.

*Some time passes…*

Magna: How’s it coming?

Moth: Huh? Oh sorry, I was just checking my e-mail and this cool website that I found called Newgrounds.

Overdrive: *Angry* Will you get to work already! No telling when guards will show up.

Moth: Ok, ok. *starts to type and search the computer*

Flame: Any luck?

Moth: Well the security on the signaling system is tight and I need to break the passcode to disable it.

Crab: Bummer.

Moth: But I do have some good news. I just saved a bunch of money on our car insurance by switching to Geico.

Agile: Will you stop messing around!

Serges: And I thought Crab was the dumb one.


Moth: Got it. All I have to do is hit “Execute” and everything will be fine.

Magna: Do it.

*As soon as Moth clicked the button two things happen at once. All the machines turn off and an alarm turns on.*

Magna: Crap!

Overdrive: Can we destroy it now?

Moth: Yeah, but make it quick.

*Everyone but Moth fire their weapons into the room destroying all that was there.*

Violen: Uh.. Guys? We have company.

*A small army of guards have surrounded our hero’s and anti-hero’s.*

Sponge: This looks worse than that time we got kicked out of Wal-Mart.

Guard: Freeze! You’re all coming with us. The boss wants to have a word with you.

Crab: NOOO! Make it go away! *Takes out sleeping potion*

Flame: Let me see that. *Takes bottle* We can use this! Everybody back up as far as you can and don’t breathe this stuff in! *Throws the bottle in the middle of the guards and within minutes they are all asleep*

Agile: Quick thinking there Flame.

Sponge: That was awesome!

Crab: No, that was mine! I was gonna use that!

Magna: With the guards taken care of, let’s go deal with the boss himself.

Crab: Do we have to?

Overdrive: Of course we have to! I’ve been wanting to fight him all day.

Serges: I think I found the way.

Flame: How can you tell?

Serges: Well there’s a gold arrow with his name on it, a path made of jewels, those big double doors with his initials on them and the entire hall lined with different pictures of him and that stupid haircut.

Crab: But are you really sure that’s his office?

Sponge: Shut up…

Violen: Do you think he’s expecting us?

Moth: Probably.

Magna: Enough with the talking, let’s go kick Trump’s butt!

Sponge: Yeah!

Crab: No!

*They all walk towards the big double doors, dragging Crab. The doors open by themselves and behind a huge desk Donald Trump is staring at them.*

Trump: *Coldly* How are you gentlemen?

Crab: All your base are belong to us!

*Everyone stares at Crab*

Sponge: You just have to ruin the moment don’t you?

Trump: Silence! I have to say I’m impressed with you. I didn’t think any of you were capable of being stupid enough to barge in here and expect nothing to go wrong. Don’t you think I knew you would try to stop me? I wanted you to come.

Flame: You mean…

Moth: This was just a trap?

Trump: Exactly! I’ve brought you here to test some new toys of mine. Heh heh heh… *pushes a button and the Enzyte music starts to play* Get them Bob, my evil zombie!

*Bob the smiling Enzyte zombie emerges from the shadows. He’s instantly incinerated due to everybody firing their weapons all at once. Everybody hates Bob.*

Magna: Ha! Billions of dollars to your name and you still suck!

Trump: That was just a warm-up. The real fun has yet to come. *Pushes another button.* Meet Oreo Oreo and Loreo Oreo. The Oreo Brothers!

Oreo: Hi.

Loreo: Yo.

Trump: They will be your doom.

Violen: I like cookies!

Crab: Me too!

Serges: Don’t eat them. No telling where they’ve been.

Flame: Ew.

Sponge: They don’t look that tough.

Overdrive: Let’s see how fast we beat them.

Oreo: I think not. Ready bro?

Loreo: Let’s do it.

*Both take off at alarming speed and begin their assault on the team.*

Magna: Ok team, attack!

Serges: “X” formation! Hit ’em hard!

Magna: Hey, I give the orders!

Serges: Says who?

Magna and Serges: *Both get hit by the Oreo Bros.* Attack!

*The two teams fire their weapons but the Oreo Bros. keep dodging their attack.*

Agile: Violen, use your medicine ball.

Violen: I forgot how. I turned it off and I can’t remember how to turn it back on!

Agile: *Slashes sword but misses* Say the password you idiot!

Violen: Oh yeah! Go-go-gadget ball!

*The system inside Violen kicks on and the medicine ball begins to fly. But still no hits connect.*

Oreo: “Double-Stuff Punch!!!” *does a diving punch on Violen*

Flame: Why can’t we hit them? *Gets hit with Cream Filling*

Moth: Their attack pattern is too sporadic.

Sponge: Well figure something out! *Shoots a vine at Loreo but hits Agile instead*

Agile: Hey, watch where you’re aiming you weed!

Sponge: Say that to my face girly man!

Agile: How dare you! Why I outta… *Gets hit with a swift kick to the head.*

Overdrive: So speed is the game, eh?

*Powers up and runs after Oreo but not only are they running, they are jumping and bouncing, making it impossible for them to follow.*

Crab: Somebody do something!

Violen: I know!

*Violen pulls out the chain and holds it high in the air. Mr. T shows up.*

Magna: Whoa!

*The Oreo Bros. stop running. Mr. T takes the chain and then proceeds to beat the snot out of the Oreo Bros.*

Flame: Wow! Thanks Mr. T!

Mr. T: Don’t mention it. I pity da foo’ who messes with me. Drink yo milk. *Leaves*

Sponge: Mr. T is hella tough.

Moth: I hear he drives a fast van too.

Trump: *Claps* Very clever but you will not beat me so easily. I still have the upper-hand.

Magna: How? It’s nine to one.

Trump: I’m a billionaire remember? Hey, X-Hunters.

Serges: Yeah?

Trump: You want your old jobs back? Higher pay and a guaranteed “Not being fired” clause that’s good for three months.

Violen: On one condition. Never take over the TV stations again.

Trump: Done.

Agile: Hellz yeah!

*The X-Hunters join Trump and go stand by his desk.*

Overdrive: You traitors!

Serges: Oh please, we weren’t exactly friends to begin with. In fact, we hate you!

Raymond: But everybody loves me!

*All stare. Raymond takes the hint and leaves.*

Magna: Well the odds are still in our favor. Six to four isn’t bad.

*A door opens and a large group of flying rabid babies emerge.*

Trump: Ahh, my newest experimental army has arrived.

Sponge: Now that’s just sick.

Moth: Your insane Trump! …And your haircut sucks.

Trump’s Hair: I beg to differ!

Flame: Wha…

Overdrive: Did his hair just talk?

Crab: This is my worst fear come true, this sucks!

Serges: I didn’t know about that.

Agile: Creepy.

Violen: Is it the hair gel?

Trump: How do you think I got so rich in business? With two brains working together you can do anything.

Trump’s Hair: That’s right.

*Trump, the X-Hunters, the rabid babies, and the recovered Oreo Bros. begin to move in on the C:IA.*

Crab: Since we are going to die, can I ask a question? Don’t you find it ironic that you made a show called “The Apprentice” and now you yourself are an apprentice to Sigma?

Trump: Yeah that is a tad ironic.

Flame: And the fact that Sigma hates humans yet he’s helping you?

Trump’s Hair: Nobody can resist the all mighty dollar!

Serges: You’re not getting away this time.

Agile: Oh yeah! Payback!

Magna: Ok team I’m open to suggestions here.

Moth: Uh. Uh. Uh… Hey what’s this… *Pulls out the Tupperware Gator gave him* I’ve got it!

*First Moth gets his keys for the van and signals it to home in and find them. He then opens the Tupperware and tosses it in the middle of Trumps group. The rabid babies go and eat it, causing them to explode. The smell of it and the explosions take care of the rest. The van crashes through the wall and the C:IA all rush inside and take off, leaving Trump and his minions coughing and confused.*

Trump: *Cough* Run while you can. We will meet again, and when we do things will be different.

Reading Rainbow Guy: But you don’t have to take my word for it!

*Trumps hair eats him.*

Trump’s Hair: I always hated that guy.

*In the van.*

Magna: That was quick thinking Moth.

Moth: Yeah, who knew Gator’s food could help us?

Overdrive: I’m exhausted. When we get home, I’m going to sleep like a baby.

Sponge: Don’t mention babies. Those things are going to haunt my dreams for a long time.

Crab: Whats the matter Flame?

Flame: I can’t shake this feeling that we forgot something.

Magna: Crap! We forgot to get a new TV!

Flame: Not that.. Where’s Snail? I know he didn’t go in the building with us, but he was in the van right?

Moth: I don’t think so…

Sponge: Then that means….

Overdrive: We left him at home.

*And so they arrive home. They walk in to see two amazing sights. Snail literary bouncing off the walls and a giant plasma screen television.*

Gator: It’s about time you guys got back.

*Magna is stunned and drooling at the plasma screen.*

Moth: What’s wrong with Snail?

Gator: Oh he had thirds of the S.S. He was a little slow to eat it at first but then he got all energetic and had some more.

Snail: Yeah its great I’ll never have safely prepared food again!!!!! *Begins to foam in the mouth*

Sponge: I think he’s rabid…

Crab: Yay rabies!

Overdrive: How could you feed him that slop?

Gator: Slop? I used almost the same things when I made those sandwiches you all loved so much.

*Everyone vomits.*

Magna: GATOR!!! How? Where? TV!!!

Gator: I tried to tell you before you left that I got this.

Flame: How? We can’t afford this!

Gator: I know. I won it. There was this contest to see who would eat what, kinda like Fear Factor ‘cept on the street, so I entered to get the free lunch and won this TV. Cool huh?

Overdrive: Amazing. We get a free plasma screen because you’re gross.

Gator: I also got this free car wash coupon just for entering. Oh by the way, next time you go on a mission tell me. I’d like to think I’m part of the team.

Moth: How did you know about that?

Gator: The entire thing was broadcasted. I recorded it too using the Tivo that came with it.

*They play their entire mission back to them. They all see and hear what happened to each other.*

Crab: Um… I was joking, honest.

Sponge: You are in so much trouble.

Flame: Overdrive, you burned down Sesame Street? How could you?


Moth: Help me get Snail to the lab for repairs and to pump his stomach.

*Suddenly Trump comes on screen.*

Trump: Thank you for watching this special live presentation. These figures you see on your screen show that just about everybody watched. The networks were so grateful they gave me billions of dollars to air it again with commercials. Stay tuned for an encore presentation. Thank you and good-night.

Magna: Wait a minute! We just made him richer?!?

Overdrive: So even though we won we still lost.

Sponge: Turn it off. I’ve had enough TV for one day.

Flame: Will you guys stop? So what if Trump got richer, we still came out the victors. Trump no longer has a monopoly on the stations, we got a free tv and best of all we found out who messed with all our stuff. *Glares at Crab* So despite everything that happened to us, everything turned out ok.

Moth: Did nobody hear me? We need to treat Snail right now. He’s really starting to twitch.

Crab: Yay twitching!

Magna: Just shut up.

*Everybody helps Moth bring Snail to the lab for emergency treatment.*

Gator: *Mumbles* I don’t get it. Everything tastes better with rabies.

Sponge: Hmmm. I’ve got this odd feeling of being watched. Eh, must be my imagination. Nothing bad is going to happen.

*Outside the C:IA Headquarters…*

Steve: Crikey! What a find! Giant talking animals, bugs, and a sponge. This requires a lot more study. You sit tight my beauties. I’ll catch you soon enough!

The End?



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