This Ain’t DBZ!

*Written by Rebel4000*

*It is early morning at the Island Attackers base, with all the members except Ti-An in the kitchen patiently waiting for food…*

Rebel: Deathtuna, where’s my breakfast?!

Deathtuna: Zzz–huwhat? Oh yeah, yeah… Burner Man go cook the… eggszzz…… *slams his head on the stove*

Rebel: Damn it all!

Void: *Reading the paper* Nice job. Only you would think of making Tuna cook food for us.

Rebel: That guy is lazy about everything he does! It’s “Zzz” this, or “Snore” that! He needs to be more active, like me!

GDT: *Bursts out laughing*

Rebel: What?!

GDT: Heh, you? Active? Do tell.

Rebel: You know, GoodDoggy Treat, I think it’s about time we made some changes around here.

Ghaleon: Changes? What do you mean?

Rebel: I mean someone around here has got to go! And I’ll be damned if it’ll be me, just because the dog food wants to start something with me!

GDT: *Sneers*

PBX: *Giggles*

Rebel: Damn it, PBX! There you go, ruining the moment!

PBX: Yay!

*Rebel smacks his head, then turns around and goes up stairs. Right after, Outlaw opens his mouth and pulls out a half-rotten dog*

Outlaw: Hm, with some seasoning, this outta make a pretty damn good breakfast. What do you guys think? *Notices everyone running out of the room, save Tuna* Uh… guys, what’s wrong?

*Elsewhere…*

Rebel: *Smiling* (Welp, looks like today is the day I get to KICK A TEAM MEMBER OFF! I’ve been waiting for this day for so long, I almost want to cry. Now who should it be? PBX, and his stupidity? GDT, and his know-it-all self? Outlaw and his smell? Ghaleon with the questions? Void with him going against everything I do? Perhaps Tuna and his laziness. We could do with just much more active members. MAYBE ALL OF THEM? Or maybe…) *Enters Ti-An’s room* Ti-An? Yoohoo? I’ve got a big pile of GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE for you. Damn Godmodder.

*The room is empty. All that is left is a peice of paper on a vacant bed.*

Rebel: *Reads the note* Holy… Grr, Tiiiiiiii-Aaaaaaaaan… *turns on the intercom* Everyone, get in Ti-An’s room for team meeting! NO EXCUSES OR I’LL DOCK YOUR PAY!!

Void: *Comes in reading the paper* What pay?

Rebel: Quiet you! Just read this!

Void: *Reads the note* Wow. That’s a lot.

*Everyone comes in shortly after. Rebel paces back and forth as he is forced to reveal the news*

Rebel: Seems that Ti-An left us.

GDT: Yes! No more annoying Godmodder! Thank you!

Rebel: Only thing is that he left us a bill.

GDT: Woo–wait, what?

Ghaleon: A bill? How much?

Void: Nothing to impressive, just $14,937.

PBX: Oh, good. For a second there I thought it was going to be something we couldn’t pay.

*Everyone stares at PBX*

PBX: Go PBX! Go PBX! It’s your birthday! It’s your birthday!

Outlaw: So what do you suggest we do?

Rebel: First we kill PBX for being a complete dumbass about everything.

GDT: Woohoo!

Void: No, we can’t do that.

GDT: Aw.

Ghaleon: We need to find Ti-An and get him to pay this bill?

Void: Bingo.

Rebel: Great idea, but you guys forget–I’m the leader. We’ll do this my way.

Void: *Sighs* Okay, Rebel. How do you want to do this?

Rebel: Simple. We go to town, find Ti-An, get him to pay this bill, and then we beat the living daylights out of both him and PBX.

GDT: Woohoo!

Deathtuna: Do we have to…

Void: Unfortunately, if I were to say no, Rebel and GDT would probably not listen.

Deathtuna: Aw…

Rebel: Enough talking. We’re off to the city!

*Hopping into their awsome pimp van, they drove off into the city… with Rebel behind the wheel.*

Rebel: *Hits an old lady*

PBX: Ooh! Look at all the blood and guts on the windshield! *Laughs hysterically*

Outlaw: I’m suddenly scared.

Rebel: Don’t worry, I’m just warming up.

*They get out of the blood-covered bus in the middle of the city, and search by splitting up*

Ghaleon: Excuse me, have you seen a green sponge with chains dangling on his body pass this way?

Kid: AHH FREAK GET AWAY!!

GDT: Idiot! Ti-An has probably transformed like us!

Ghaleon: Oh yeah… Well, you can try if you want.

GDT: Yeah, yeah… Hey kid. Have you seen a guy who’s dressed up like he’s from the Matrix around here?

Kid: AHH FREAK GET AWAY!!

GDT: *Punches the kid in the face*

*Elsewhere*

PBX: Hey, Tuna. Do you think maybe Ti-An jumped off this cliff that just so happens to be right next to town?

Deathtuna: Flying fish… breezy cheese *snorts* zzz….

PBX: I bet he could survive… But we gotta make sure. *Rolls Tuna off the cliff*

*And somewhere else*

Rebel: Hey Ti-An! Get over here so we can beat you up, boy!

Void: Wow, he’s really going to come out for that, Rebel.

Rebel: Shush.

Void: Well, with PBX and Tuna checking the outskirts, Ghaleon and GDT asking questions, Outlaw checking the sewer system, and us just doing whatever, we’ll probably find him.

Rebel: We’d better. Or I’ll be forced to kill someone el–

KABLAM!!

Bank Teller: Help, he’s stolen our money and he’s getting away! That fiend, I just knew he was up to something coming in here like he was in the Matrix or something!

Rebel and Void: Ti-An!!

*The two chase after the robber into a dark alley and come to a dead end. Annoyed and frustrated, Rebel kicks a trash can, causing it to go flying.*

Void: Strange. I didn’t know Ti-An could fly or make incredibly high jumps…

Rebel: …He’s a Godmodding reploid who looks like he’s from the Matrix. Hello?

*A figure then steps out of the shadows, with purple bat-like wings and black hair with grey and purple armor.*

???: Oh, what a bother. I get tired of being compared to the Matrix. I don’t even look like I’m from it.

Rebel: Huh? Who’s there!

???: Oh, yes. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is… ANTI-MAJIN!!

*Lightning strikes, babies cry, the sun smiles*

Void: …I didn’t know the sun could do that.

Anti-Majin: Damn sun, getting in the way with my uber-cool entrance. I smite thee!

Rebel: Right… hey, maybe you can help us. Have you seen a guy who looks like he really did come out of the Matrix? You know, wears sunglasses, a black, leather trench coat, wears all black really.

Anti-Majin: Uh…

Void: Is a total Godmodder about everything.

Anti-Majin: Oh yeah. He came by and went right through the wall. Real freaky.

Rebel: Damn, we’ll never catch him now!

*The robotic anti-creature then places his hand on the wall and sends a shockwave through it, knocking it down.*

Rebel: *Eyes bulging* Wow, thanks.

Void: *Speechless*

Anti-Majin: Yeah, yeah. Now get out of here before I decide to kill you two.

Rebel: Y-yeah… Let’s go Void. *Grabs Void and slowly walks off*

*A few minutes pass before Anti-Majin smiles to himself and takes to the skies with his wings. He lands on the rooftop and grabs a bag full of cash*

Anti-Majin: Heheh… suckers.

*In another part of town, Outlaw wasn’t having much luck.*

Outlaw: Nope, not even in the sewers. Of course, I don’t blame him for not being there. It was all… clean. *shudders*

Hobo: ‘Scuse me sir, do ya have some money for some bread and cheese?!

Outlaw: No. Now get away from me.

Hobo: Aw, but I woulda traded ya sumtin’ good for it.

Outlaw: *Curious* Oh? What?

Hobo: I found teh strangiest time-teller thingy ever! It transforms, ya see! *Turns into a guy from the Matrix*

Outlaw: *Hysterical* Here’s a mutated cat!

Hobo: Can I eat it?

Outlaw: You bet you can!

Hobo: Gimme! *Takes the cat and runs*

Outlaw: Hey! Come back with the watch!

*Chasing after the hobo, Outlaw comes to a stop when he finds a certain sponge’s body sitting down. The hobo was in a dumpster, playing with both the cat and the watch*

Hobo: Found him, I did I did. Kitty fun to play with!

Outlaw: Oh god. He’s dead.

Hobo: It wasn’t me! *Jumps out of the dumpster* Don’ be blamin’ it on me, sonny! You never take me alive, ’cause his mind left him and floated away!

Outlaw: What do you mean?

Hobo: I may be a drunk, but I see it be wit’ my eyes! Sittin’ down, and this thingy leaves and takes off! So I took the watch! To borrow and trade with heeeeeheehawhaw!!

Outlaw: So his mind left. Wierd.

*Suddenly a wall nearby goes down, and GDT and Ghaleon appear*

Ghaleon: Wow, what a ride.

Outlaw: What are you guys doing? You’re destroying public property!

GDT: Aw, can it. Some guy we met did it for us.

Hobo: Did it, says him! But where is be the truth?! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…

GDT: Who is that?

Outlaw: Oh yeah, guys, I’d like you to meet Mr…. uh, well I guess you can call him hobo.

Hobo: Hobo Baggins! That be what teh dead guy over yonder saidy, a doodah, doodah!

Ghaleon: *Notices the sponge* Holy crap, he’s dead!

Hobo: Dead, but yet not! In a parallel universe, is he. Floating around doing stuff! *Gets in GDT’s face* But you knowins, he coulda been caught by de utter me.

GDT: *Pushes the hobo away* What other me?!

Hobo: Teh me dat go bump in da night! VROOOOOOM!!! *Takes off running*

Outlaw: Quick! Follow that hobo! *Leaves*

GDT: You’re joking.

Ghaleon: He’s wierd, but he seems to know something that we don’t. *Follows*

GDT: *Sighs* Am I the only one in this group who is actually normal? *Chases after*

*We go back to PBX and Tuna, falling down cliffs and more cliffs…*

PBX: Whee!! *Bangs head on a rock* Heehee!

Deathtuna: Spin around and around and around and around… *Stops* Huh? *Looks up*

Anti-Majin: Well, well. What do we have here? The heroes, trying to stop my plans?!

Deathtuna: Um, yeah sure… okay…

Anti-Majin: Fools! *Lifts Tuna up* I WILL KILL YOU!!

PBX: Bubble Splash!

Anti-Majin: Ow! Why you…!

*Anti-Majin chases after PBX near the entrance of the town, only to run into the two parties that is Rebel and Void, and Outlaw, GDT, Ghaleon and the hobo*

Hobo: There! There be me twice! I told ya I was crazy not!

GDT: All I see is someone to be beat up. *Cracks knuckles*

Anti-Majin: *Laughs* Ah, I see. More friends, which means more heroes! And I see that you were all working together!

Void: Wait, what do you mean, “more heroes?”

Hobo: Anti-Majin is eeveel! Never trust ta EEVEEL!! Only trust ta GOOD Majin, me! *Rips off the hobo outfit* You’ll be goin’ down, today!

Anti-Majin: It’s… you… Great.

*Majin charges at Anti-Majin and punches him directly in the face, causing him to stumble back.*

Rebel: Okay, will someone please explain to me what exactly is going on?!

Majin: After I saw your friend, the sponge, I hid myself.

GDT: You mean he didn’t transform?!

Majin: *Nods* Yeah, but Anti-Majin showed up and drove out his memory, making him a “ghost,” sort to speak. I hid out and decided to disguise myslef as a hobo. Had a couple of beers to get the act right. *burps*

Void: And you framed Ti-An with that robbery?! That’s pretty low!

Majin: Actually, Ti-An did commit a robbery, right before you guys showed up. That’s why Anti-Majin attacked him. So he could steal the money he stole and commit his own crime, and frame Ti-An for that one as well.

Ghaleon: So what happened to Ti-An?

Majin: Probably trapped somewhere, waiting for a new reploid body to be built so he can enter it. Isn’t that right, Anti-Majin?

Anti-Majin: Yeah, and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling reploids and that nice me. But I’ll still take the money!!

*It is at that time that Anti-Majin notices that the money is encased in a block of crystal. Deathtuna yawns sheepishly.*

Anti-Majin: NOOO!! MY MONEY!!!

*Anti-Majin points one hand upward and creates a giant energyball. It grows larger and larger in mass until it was bigger the Megalopolis itself!*

Void: So… any ideas to stop this thing, Rebel?

Rebel: *Hiding behind Void* TAKE HIM!! Just don’t hurt me…

Anti-Majin: Bwahahahahah!! Fool, you will all die! Every single one of you!

Majin: WAAAAAIT!

Anti-Majin: What?!

Majin: If you kill all of us, you’ll lose your job since there won’t be anyone left to stop you!

Anti-Majin: Dang it all. You’re right. *Pulls the energy back* I guess I’ll let you go today… Until I can find a loop in that rule! *Flies off*

Deathtuna: Yawn… so, it looks like we won and managed to get the money back, huh?

Outlaw: …

Void: …

PBX: …

Majin: …

GDT: …

Ghaleon: …

Rebel: …Quick. Get the money and let’s go.

Majin: But I’m a hero. I can’t just–

Rebel: NO TIME FOR WASTIN’!!

Majin: *Throws the crystalized bag into the van*

Void: Rebel, I don’t think–

Rebel: QUIET, MONEY IS OURS!!!

*Everyone including Majin gets in the van and they drive off back to the base. They don’t say anything until the following morning*

Outlaw: So what are we going to do about Ti-An?

Rebel: Whaddya mean?!

Ghaleon: Well, we only have seven members. We need one more.

Rebel: Can’t we just say, “Oh well” and move on?

Everyone else: Rebel!

Rebel: Okay, fine. So any suggestions on who should replace Ti-An?

Deathtuna: Zzzzzzzz… make Majin a member… zzzzZzzzzzzzz…

Void: Well, I planned for such an occasion. *Pulls out a box with eight watches* These watches are like ours, except they transform into our former Maverick selves.

PBX: Cool! So I can become Crab… *Turns the watch on* And Crab! Yay for me!

Rebel: Yeah sure, why not. Anti-Majin will be sure to come by someday and try to kill us. We can use him as a shield.

GDT: Yeah, a bodygaurd along with over $30,000! Can’t get better than that…

Majin: *Comes down stairs* Oh, hey guys! You’ll never guess what I found. A bill charging over $10,000! I figured it was probably a burden, so I payed it off with the money you guys stole!

Rebel: *Eye twitches* You what?

Majin: Yeah… I figured you’d like that.

Void: Rebel, relax.

GDT: Yeah, we still have 20,000 plus!

Majin: Heh… well, you see… I figured, since the rest was also stolen, I could give it to charity! So, I did.

GDT: …KILL HIM!!

*GDT and Rebel, despite the other members efforts, advance on Majin, with evil intentions in mind.*

Majin: Huh? What’d I do? Um… help?

Rebel: Shut up… this’ll be over soon enough…

The End

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