Training Bad

*Written by Rebel4000*

 

*It was another quiet morning at the Island Attackers island base. Breakfast was already over with, and the various members were off doing… whatever pleased them best*

Rebel: *Humming* Can’t wait to sink my teeth into a nice, refreshing can of coke. Yes sir, nothing in the whole wide world beats it. *opens the fridge * Come here my li’l… Eh?

*Rebel comes to what seems to be no coke. All he sees are cans of beer*

Rebel: My… my… *growls* WHERE THE HECK ARE MY CANS OF COKE!?

Majin: You a funny lady.

Rebel: …Come again?

Majin: I said–hiccup! You a fuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnny lady!!

Rebel: That’s what I thought.

*Rebel sticks Majin’s hand in a blender and turns it on*

Majin: Hee! Dat tickles! *Smacks Rebel with the blender*

Rebel: *Flies through the wall* Ow.

GDT: OWNED!!

PBX: Yay for owning stuff!

Rebel: Will you two just shut up and get me outta THIS WALL?!

*After getting Rebel free… the other members besides Majin decide to have a little heart-to-heart talk*

Ghaleon: So what are we going to talk about today?

Void: Drinking, and–

Rebel: WHY IT IS BAD FOR YOU.

Void: …Well said, Rebel.

Outlaw: Now Rebel, I’d just like to let you know that the stuff I eat only smells like beer. It’s not the real deal…

Rebel: I know. We’re talking about someone else here.

Outlaw: Oh thank God… *gets stares* I mean, yeah. Drinking is bad, mmmkay?

Rebel: *Ignoring Outlaw* Who I’m talking about today is none other than GDT!

GDT: What?!

Rebel: Don’t try and deny it! I know it was you who threw away all of my coke and then replaced it with beer! Especially since you love to get drunk!

GDT: That’s only at parties you nimrod.

Rebel: …So you plan on throwing a party when we’re not around, is that it?!

GDT: *Smacks himself*

Void: Rebel… I think you know who really did it.

Rebel: Who?

*Everyone looks outside to see Majin in a ballerina skirt, and smashing his head into a nearby tree, laughing hysterically*

Void: …You seriously don’t know?

Rebel: *Thinks*

Ghaleon: Come on, he’s big and green, and loves the stuff.

Rebel: So Outlaw WAS behind it! That fiend!!

Outlaw: *Throws a can he had away* What’chu talkin’ ’bout Rebel?

Rebel: That you’ve been getting beer from the beer lord, GDT!

GDT: God, shut up about it already!

PBX: Tasty!

Rebel: Oho! So PBX finally comes clean!

Everyone else: *Sighs*

Rebel: Wait wait! I see it now! YOU’RE ALL IN ON THIS! Well, no more Mr. Nice Rebel!

Void: Since when have you been nice?

Rebel: All the time! Except now! You’re all getting punished for your crimes!

Deathtuna: Does it involve sleeping?

Rebel: No.

Deathtuna: Damn…

Rebel: You will all come with me through the “Training Course of Doom!” Also known as TCoD.

*Everyone looks at each other before bursting into laughter*

GDT: Hah! Where the heck did you get that from?

Void: Yeah, there’s not even a training course here, much less a “Training Course of Doom.”

Rebel: You shall refer to it as TCoD!

Void: Fine, TCoD.

Rebel: I changed my mind. You will call it the “Training Course of Doom!” Now PBX, go pull the lever that I told you could never touch.

PBX: *Blinks*

Rebel: Pull it and you’ll get a cookie.

PBX: Yay cookie! *pulls a lever*

*Everyone fall through a trap floor and goes down what appears to be a huge slide. At the bottom they land on an old spring mattress*

Ghaleon: Whoa, where are we?

Rebel: You are in… “THE TRAINING COURSE OF DOOM!” MWAHAHAHAHAH!!!

GDT: Wait, how come we never knew about this?!

Rebel: Because PBX dug it with a spoon. Why the heck would you all care anyways?

GDT: Good point.

Void: So… What do we do in this “Training Course of Doom,” exactly?

Rebel: IT’S TCOD FOOL!

Void: *Sigh* TCoD, then.

Rebel: You really need to make up your mind Void. It’s one or the other, sheesh.

Void: Just answer the question!

Rebel: Okay, fine. No need to be so grumpy. *clears throat* Here is where I’ll sit down, sip a Vanilla Coke or two, and watch you all get your asses whooped. Any questions?

Outlaw: Yeah, could you dumb that down a bit?

Rebel: ‘Kay. *clears throat again* 0MG L3IK J00 W1LL 4LL D13Z3RZ!!1one1

Outlaw: All right, I get it now.

GDT: Bring it on!

*Rebel pushes a random button, causing metal bars to zigzag in-between both him and the other members. He then promptly sits down and pulls out a can of Vanilla Coke. Then a randomly generated Reploid appears*

Zero: Oh, dude. Where am I now?

Rebel: Ready… FIGHT!

Zero: Huh? Hey, I know you guys! What’s up? Wanna go hang or something?

GDT: …GET HIM!!

*Everyone dog piles and rips Zero apart*

Zero: *Just a head* Whoa! Did I do something to upset you dudes?

Void: Yes. *blows the head up*

Ghaleon: I still get nightmares from that trip back in time. *shudders*

Outlaw: Yeah, too bad that guy will be back tomorrow.

Deathtuna: Are we done yet…?

Rebel: Nope, it’s only just begun.

*Rebel pushes the button again, this time what appears to be a giant Mechaniloid. With one look, Void’s eyes turn into dinner plates*

Void: It’s… beautiful… *hugs it’s left leg* I almost want to cry…

Outlaw: I just hate seeing a grown Reploid cry…

PBX: *Starts crying*

GDT: Bah, please spare me.

Deathtuna: I’m getting *yawn*… tired… Don’t mind if I do…

Ghaleon: Hey you can’t fall asleep yet! We have to fight!

Mechaniloid: Fool!

Void: *Let’s go* Huh?

Mechaniloid: I am Sigma!

Everyone else: …

Sigma: SIGMA!!

Void: Sigma who?

Sigma: Huh?

Outlaw: You know, are you Sigma Alpha, Sigma Omega…

Sigma: Um, I think I’m just Sigma Sigma…

PBX: Like Mario Mario!

Sigma: Yeah!

Void: Well congrats, Mr. Sigma! Now if you’ll please step into that incinerator over there we’d be very happy.

Sigma: Well sure! I’d be–hey… Wouldn’t that hurt?

GDT: Of course not, fool. By doing that, you’d be… uh…

Ghaleon: Preventing HIV from spreading!

Sigma: Oh then I’ll do it! *Runs into the incinerator*

Void: (Wow, what an idiot. HIV can only spread… well, I won’t be thinking about that, now.)

Rebel: I can’t believe you actually beat him that easily.

PBX: Mr. Sigma isn’t that bright! Heehee!

Sigma: *Behind Rebel* Somebody say something about me?

Rebel: HOLY CRAP! *Gets rid of the barrier and jumps in with the others* I thought you were dead!

Sigma: I got better.

PBX: Hey Mr. Sigma?

Sigma: Yeees?

PBX: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie-pop?

Sigma: One hundred and forty-nine licks.

PBX: Damn, you’re good. *gives the evil eye*

Sigma: *Grabs PBX and throws him into the back wall*

Rebel: Enough of this! Island Attackers, attack!

*And so a huge battle ensues between the good guys and the bad guy. Void fires multiple Silk Shot, but just for them to bounce off and hit the other members. Rebel uses a Magnet Mine, only for it to also bounce off and hit him back. Outlaw retaliates with a Spine Wheel, but they explode on contact, causing Deathtuna to hide in his shell, which makes him fall asleep. Sigma treats him like a soccer ball and kicks him at Ghaleon, deflecting the Speed Burner and crashing right into him. PBX, in the meantime, had pried himself out of the wall, and blew some bubbles, which were blown back and blinded GDT, causing his Sonic Slicers to hit Void and Wheel, KO’ing them. Sigma then grabs PBX yet again throws him into Tuna, who woke back up and stuck his head out, to be greeted by the hyperactive crab. Sigma then takes his two mounted shoulder cannons and points them at the fallen heroes*

Sigma: *Laughs* You are all much to weak to defeat me! Now, prepare to be destroyed!!

PBX: (Good thing I’m an insomniac, or I would have been knocked out by now! I wonder what’s for dinner…) *shakes head* No! I need to save everyone!

Void: It’s no use PBX… just save yourself…

GDT: Don’t listen to him, he’s crazy!

Rebel: PBX, I swear if you run I will haunt you…

Sigma: Too late, buddy! Particle Cannons will fire in twenty seconds, taking this entire base with it!

Ghaleon: Are you crazy? You’ll die, too!

Sigma: I’ve been through worse. Now… ten seconds left… nine…

PBX: Wait! I’ve got an idea! Yay for me! *takes a deep breath* MAJIN~! MAAAAJIN~! C’MERE, BOY~!

*Outside*

Mailman: Agh get away! *wacks Majin with his bag*

Majin: Grr… *Hears PBX* Ruff! Ruff! *Leaves*

Mailman: …I need a new job.

*In the “Training Course of Doom”*

Sigma: Six… five… four… three…

Ghaleon: I just want to say that I will miss you guys.

Outlaw: Same here. I just know that you guys loved my cooking so much. I wish I could give you all another helping.

Rebel: (Hm, maybe this is a blessing after all.)

Sigma: Two…

Majin: RUFF! *hits Sigma in the face with a chain*

Sigma: NOT THE FACE, NOT THE FACE!!

*Sigma, trying to the chain off of him, lifts his arms upward, and fires the cannons in that direction. After firing, Majin let’s go, and Sigma stares up at the sky, via the whole he created through the ceiling*

PBX: Yay! Majin! *pets* Good boy…

Deathtuna: *Wakes up* Are we dead…

Ghaleon: No, PBX and Majin saved us.

Deathtuna: You’re kidding me, right?

Void: I wish we were. This is a sad day indeed.

Rebel: Be quiet you. *looks at Majin* Since when was Majin a dog?

GDT: REBEL! MAJIN IS THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN DRINKING! GOD!

Rebel: Okay that’s cool.

Outlaw: …You’re not pissed?

Rebel: Nah, why should I be?

Void: *Angry* Rebel…

Rebel: Not now Void! We still have company!

Sigma: Damn straight you still have company! I’m gonna keel haul you!

Deathtuna: Too bad for you… you’re finished…

Sigma: Why do you say that?

Everyone else: *Points up*

Sigma: Huh?

*Sigma looks up, and gets blasted by the lasers fired from his particle cannons*

Sigma: OH GOD IT BURNS!!

Void: *Scratches his head* Yeah, that was kind of convenient that our personal satellite was capable of not only deflecting lasers, but also happened to be there at that certain time.

Rebel: I love that satellite… We don’t ever need to pay for cable thanks to it.

Ghaleon: Uh, guys? Shouldn’t we back away now?

GDT: Why the heck would you say–

Sigma: *Explodes*

GDT: Oh…

*Later that day… we see all the members in Void’s lab, covered in bandages. They all give out a big sigh*

Majin: I swear I take a nap and World War Three has broken out.

Deathtuna: That’s not all you were doing… *gets tapped* Huh… what is it PBX?

PBX: Heehee, that big boom may have melted my legs off, BUT I’LL BE BACK!!

Deathtuna: All right. Until then… I’m going to… take… a na… Zzzz…

Ghaleon: So how long do you think we’ll be in this condition, Dr. Darkheart?

Void: Please, call me Void.

Ghaleon: Okay, Void.

Void: …Actually, I think I like Dr. Darkheart more. What do you think, Rebel?

Rebel: *Covered head-to-toe* FFFFHHHHH!! MMMMGGGG!!

Void: *Ignores* Well, after I finish taping my wings back on… a week or so.

Ghaleon: Cool.

GDT: Grr, a whole week of doing nothing. And it’s all Rebel’s fault!

Rebel: MMMMM!!!

GDT: *Grinning* What was that…?

Outlaw: I think he said, “Shut up, I’m going to kill you.”

GDT: …

The End

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