*Written by Rebel4000*
*It was yet another typical morning at the Island Attackers island base… and the action just so happened to be in the living room*
Outlaw: Man, I love this show.
GDT: The tv isn’t even on you idiot.
GDT: …I am surrounded by morons. Speaking of which, where’s our “fearless leader?”
Void: Haven’t seen him for a few days now; hope he’s all right.
Outlaw: Hey, you know what we need for watching movies?
GDT: Outlaw, the tv is off.
Outlaw: We need some good old fashion home cookin’! I’ll be right back.
GDT: Oh no you don’t!! *tackles Outlaw*
Majin: *Walks in, sits down and turns the tv on* Burp.
TV Announcer: We interrupt this program for an important news flash. CRAZY REPLOIDS ARE DESTROYING EVERYTHING IT’S A DISASTOR OMGWTFBBQ. Thank you for your time.
Majin: *Turns the tv off, stands up and walks out* Burp.
Void: …Well that was random.
Ghaleon: So what do you make of that tv announcement?
Void: Nothing much. Reploids go crazy all of time. I’m sure X, Zero and what’s-his-face will save the day anyway.
GDT: Not the usual “Let’s go save the city!” speech?
Void: Not really.
GDT: Shut up, that’s PBX’s line! *kicks Outlaw* Speaking of which I haven’t seen him much either.
Ghaleon: If it wasn’t for Majin it would be really boring here.
Deathtuna: Peanut butter… Zzz…
*They all stand still for a few seconds until the wind blows*
Void: I’m gonna have to fix that window. Well, I guess we should do something to let the time pass, so let’s just go and save everyone from terror and hopefully we’ll get some recognition.
*And so the CIA hop into their special van and take off to the city. When they get out they see the entire place is not destroyed but deserted.*
Void: Hello? Hello…? Hello…
GDT: Void, why are saying hello over and over again?
Void: It’s supposed to be an echo. It was supposed to add on to the whole ‘mysteriousness.’
GDT: Well stop it. It’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
Ghaleon: So what do we do now?
Void: We find the culprits behind all of this mess. I suggest that you, Outlaw and Tuna go to the south, while Majin, GDT and myself head north.
Outlaw: Sounds good to me, see you all later.
Majin: Bye frenz!!
*And so the Island Attackers split up. Outlaw, Ghaleon and Tuna all go with one another, until they go into a dark alley.*
Outlaw: Ooh… spooky.
Ghaleon: Stop, this is freaky enough as it is. I swear it’s only ten in the morning yet it’s getting darker and darker.
Deathtuna: Oh, so I’m not the only one… *bumps into someone* Huh? Whozzat?
Serges: No, no, no. You’re supposed to scream now.
Deathtuna: Oh… uh, AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!
*Majin, GDT and Void head to the north, going into city hall for exploration*
Majin: I’m a little teabag, short and baggy, here is by bag! *Throws a purse at GDT*
GDT: *Get clunked on the head* Jesus, what the Hell is in that thing?
GDT: Whatever… so what are we doing here again?
Void: We need to find out who’s behind all of this. Since City Hall is one of the first places anyone who wants to destroy would attack first, it would be the best place to start by checking the security cameras.
GDT: Oh my God.
GDT: *Sarcastic* That is such a brilliant idea, Void! I mean, heaven forbid that the villain would actually let himself be filmed while committing such horrible crimes of absolutely nothing!
Majin: Silly moth, gdt is for kids. *munches on a dog biscuit*
GDT: Seriously, I thought crazy Reploids were destroying everything. The only “crime” I’ve seen is that everyone and their grandma has disappeared.
Void: And that doesn’t raise suspicion?
GDT: Not at all.
Majin: Who am I again?
??? #1: Your mom!
Majin: Oh… *passes out*
Void: Who said that?
??? #2: Quiet you idiot!
??? #1: But I don’t wanna!
GDT: …Great. They just had to be here.
??? #2: Uh… no! This is all just a dream… Whoo~!
Void: *opens a door to find Agile and Violen*
Agile: Oh crap.
GDT: Grr, SONIC SLICER!!
Violen: Onoes run away!
*Quickly transforming, GDT fires a couple of slicers at the X-Hunters, which Violen responds to by knocking down the wall in back and taking off, followed by Agile who was a shaken by the events. Void, grabbing Majin, follows suit and transforms and the two chase after the criminals. They continue to run/fly until they see the two stop in front of a building with Serges and the rest of the members there.*
Outlaw: Hey guys.
Void: What’s going on?
Ghaleon: Oh, you see, we ran into Serges and then we chased after him until we ended up here. We’re still trying to understand what’s going on though.
Serges: Heh heh, all in good time, all in good time. First we’ve got something we need to show you! Violen, bring it out!
Violen: ‘Kayo! *pulls out a blanket* Here ya go buddy.
Serges: *Smacks Violen* Stupid, stupid, stupid! The thing that was under the blanket!
Violen: Ow… okay. *drags PBX out*
PBX: Hi guys!
Void: You captured PBX?
Serges: Yes! And with his capture will mark the beginning of your demise!
GDT: Not like we care. Rebel will probably just replace him if he dies.
Agile: *Grins* But where is Rebel?
Void, GDT, Deathtuna, Ghaleon, Majin, PBX, and Outlaw: Uh…
Serges: Rebel is at some sort of convention dealing with business that he felt none of you would care about.
Ghaleon: Why wouldn’t he tell us about it?
Serges: …I just said that he felt none of you would care about it. Don’t you listen?
Deathtuna: Hey I listen…
Serges: And that’s why you should–hey, don’t fall asleep on me!
Void: What I don’t get is how you three would find this out.
Agile: We got info on it. Living on the streets can do that to you.
Violen: Word dawg.
Void: Please explain this info.
Agile: Sure. It seems like it was only yesterday… Actually, it was…
*Everything goes back in time, a few months back in fact, and the X-Hunters were in their latest base: a front-end loader.*
Agile: HEY VIOLEN HURRY UP OR WE’LL EAT ALL OF THE PIZZA!!
Violen: Waah! No, I wanna have the pizza!
Agile: TOO LATE!! *shoves the last slice in his mouth*
Violen: No… it can’t be… I want pizza…
Agile: Oh, get over it you big baby. There’s always next time.
Violen: Yeah, but, but, but! We never get pizza like that! Only the ones found in the garbage cans! This time we actually stole it! And I think you ate every slice, too!
Agile: What?! Are you accusing me of being greedy?
Violen: Yes–*sees saber*–I mean no.
Agile: What do you keep on humming for?
Serges: Oh, nothing except that we’ve hit an all time low in villainy…
Serges: It means we suck, Agile.
Agile and Violen: No!
Serges: Yes. As soon as we started picking fights with the Island Attackers we’ve been getting worse and worse… it’s only a matter of time before we hit rock bottom.
Violen: But I thought sleeping in a dumpster was rock bot–*sees saber*–I mean… yeah.
Serges: What happened to us? We’re the X-Hunters! We should be striking fear into the hearts of the innocent! Not getting peanuts thrown at us by little children!
???: That’s because you all suck ass!
Patches: The name is Patches o’ Houlihan, the greatest dodgeball player around, and I’m going to teach you idiots how to win!
Agile: That’s… great. But we’re not here to play dodgeball. We’re here to–
Patches: I know what you do! You go around getting peanuts thrown at you by little gay children, that’s what! Well, everyone knows that the same training for dodgeball is used in the same way for fighting.
Serges: Really now?
Patches: Yes, you ugly old pile of shit.
Patches: No time, we have to get you fags busy!
Violen: When do we start, mister?
Patches: We start tomorrow, and for Pete’s sake, lose some damn weight you pig.
Patches: Okay ladies, it goes like this: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. Or in your case a giant energy ball of mass destruction.
Agile: Wait… you’re not going to throw those things at us, are you?
Patches: No. I was going to do something else. *jams a wrench in Agile’s eye*
Agile: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!! *runs off a cliff*
Serges and Violen: *Sweats*
Patches: Stop looking over there all weird you faggots! He’s probably dead, but no one really gives a damn about him anyway.
Serges: *Raises hand* Uh, Patches sir? Do we really need this training?
Patches: Of course you do! I mean, do I ‘need’ to go and moon little girls?
Serges: Well, no…
Patches: Of course not. But I do it anyways because I like the sound they make when they see my wrinkled ass.
Serges: …Wait, come again?
Patches: Today I’m going to go easy on you ladies since I think you’re doing a pretty good job so far.
Patches: No. What, did you honestly think I’d let slackers like you guys get it easy? Now climb to the top of that skyscraper using your teeth in twenty minutes or I’ll start pelting wrenches at you.
Agile: Are you going to come with us?
Patches: Are you that stupid? I’m not the one who has to go from sucking ass to kicking ass! I’m taking the elevator.
Agile: Mother–*gets hit by a wrench*
Patches: If you can dodge traffic you can dodge a ball! *knocks Violen into the street*
Violen: *Gets hit by a truck*
Patches: Aw, what’s the matter? Do you want me to kiss your boo-boos?
Patches: Yeah right, fag. You’ll be lucky enough for Mr. Girly-Man to even look at you.
Agile: Hey! I–*gets hit by a bulldozer*
Serges: *runs away*
Patches: Get back here and let me throw you into that traffic!
*Day One Hundred and Twelve*
Violen: *Asleep* Zzz… ‘splainin’ to do… No, not fired…
Patches: *With a loudspeaker* WAKE UP IT’S TIME TO SMELL THE PAIN FATSO!!
*Day One Hundred and Forty-Five*
Patches: Well, I guess I should congratulate you all on a job well done…
Agile: Yeah… I guess we should say thanks… I guess…
Serges: *To Agile* Though I still think we’ll get our butts handed to us…
Patches: As long as you remember the training I gave you, you’ll be sure to beat those Island Attackers!
Agile: Wait, how do you know about the Island Attackers?
Patches: I know everything! Now stop asking me so many stupid questions!
Violen: But what about I Love Lucy…
Patches: Screw those dead people! Now for the game plan. Huddle!
X-Hunters: *Huddles around Patches*
Patches: *Whispers* Okay, so this is how it will go. Their leader, Rebel, left for a convention, and he won’t be coming back for a whole week, and they don’t even know about it! Since Girly-Man is weak against him, it would be a good chance to strike. Also, PBX will be coming to the city on that today to buy more cookies. Since he holds the slobs weakness, it would be a good idea to ambush and capture him.
Violen: Capture? Don’t we want to kill?
Patches: Of course not you retarded monkey! If you capture him you can use him like a shield. Now, next I will cause a riot to cause hell to break loose, thus making everyone in the city to evacuate. The CIA will be sure to come to investigate and that will be your chance to destroy them once and for all! Do you understand?!
X-Hunters: Sir, yes, sir!
Patches: Now, I’m going to be honest with you boys. If you somehow fuck this up you will more than likely be labeled the worst villains in history, and the chances of you ever making a comeback will be slim to none.
Agile: *Sighs* Of course. We’re used to that.
Patches: Good! Now get out their and win one for the team!
*Everything goes forward, until we see the Island Attackers and X-Hunters ready for battle*
Agile: And there you have it. Today we thought about it, and we realized that with some motivation we can win this!
GDT: Heh, aren’t you a little nervous Serges? After all, I’m still here and I can easily beat you.
Serges: Which is exactly why I am using your little crab friend as a shield. Would you honestly try and hurt him? Could even you go that low?
GDT: Guess we’ll just have to find out.
Void: Crap. GDT, don’t hurt PBX! We need to somehow get him free, and then attack.
GDT: Oh come on! Look at him! Freaking metal was melted on to him make him a part of Serges floating platform! How are we going to get him free!?
Agile: Enough talk! Island Attackers… it is time to finally die!!
*Agile charges at GDT, hitting him in the gut with his saber and causing him to fly into a nearby building, knocking it down. Serges then pulls out a vast amount of weapons under his cloak and fires non stop at all of the members feets, making them jump. Violen takes this as a sign and swings his head forward, making the mace attached to his head to swing out and crash inbetween Ghaleon and Tuna, and then jerk it to the right to hit Ghal and knock him into Outlaw. Deciding not to waste time, Void flew behind Serges and inspects PBX’s current conditon.*
Void: Not good. It would take days to get him out of here. Weeks even.
PBX: Heehee! This metal tickles!
Serges: Hmm? *spots Void* Just what do you think you’re doing?
Serges: *Jumps and rapid fires*
Void: *Flies out of the way*
GDT: SONIC SLICER!!
Serges: Yikes! *blocks with the shield* That’s pretty gutsy of you GDT. You could have hit PBX you know.
GDT: I don’t care! I’m here to just fight and beat you to a pulp!
*Taking off and full blast, GDT does a little hop and kicks the platform, causing both Serges and PBX to go crashing to the ground. Serges then gets up and pulls out an arm cannon and fires a laser, hitting GDT in the shoulder, making him stop and clutch it in pain. Violen, who wasn’t fighting anyone in particular, swings his mace at him and clobbers him upside the head.*
Violen: Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!
GDT: Damn it…
Agile: Hah, good job team! you guys handle GDT and Void, and I’ll take care of the others…
Ghaleon: All by yourself?
Agile: Yes. I don’t see what the problem is in that.
Outlaw: Well, we do beat in people.
Agile: I don’t care! I’ll take you all on!
Deathtuna: Crystal Hunter!
Majin: Strike Chain!
Outlaw: Spin Wheel!
Agile: Good God! *slices the wheel*
Ghaleon: I don’t really want to do this but… *gets in front of Agile and fires a Speed Burner*
Agile: AAAHHHHHHHHHHH MY FACE IS ON FIRE!!! *runs around screaming*
Violen: I’ll help you buddy! *swings mace into Ghaleon*
*The two sides continue battling, with neither side showing any signs of stopping. Then, in a last attempt, Agile and Serges whistle at Violen and they drop to the ground, and Violen swings his mace around and around, hitting all of the Island Attackers. The members fall, not being able to take the abuse of Violen’s mace any longer. When he stops, the X-Hunters gather around them, throwing PBX’s body on the pile.*
Agile: All to easy… to think we’ve been humiliated by the likes of you.
Serges: For not being able to exploit our weaknesses, you were no match for us. I have even proven that you can have a weakness and still win! Shows how great you fools really are.
GDT: *Growls* Serges… you…
Violen: Well, what should do now?
Agile: Now? Uh… I’m not sure.
Serges: …You aren’t? Are you really that stupid?
Agile: Well, we’ve never been in a winning position, now have we?!
Violen: Hey guys what are we going to do if Rebel comes back?
Agile and Serges: Who cares about that idiot!
Outlaw: I have to say that recently I’ve been finding ourselves in this position more than I’d like.
Agile: Quiet! I know what… to do! You will die… now… Ugh… I feel strange… *falls apart*
Serges: What the heck?! What just happened?
Void: …Now’s our chance!
GDT: Way ahead of ya! *hits Serges with a Sonic Slicer*
Serges: *Falls down* ARGH!! How did this happen?! Violen!
Void: *Lifts PBX up* Use your Bubble Splash!
Majin: Make purty bubbles!
PBX: Bubbles are purty! *blows some at Violen*
Violen: No, not the bubbles! *cowers*
Serges: This is pathetic! Look at you! You’re a giant Reploid yet you’re scared of some–*gets knee’d* Ow… This… this isn’t fair… We were winning… *collapses*
GDT: And that is that. Hope you’re happy, loser. Now for Violen.
Violen: Nooo! I don’t wanna go back, I don’t wanna go back!
*Later, at the Island Attackers base*
Outlaw: What a boring day. The X-Hunters really need to get a life and stop trying to attack us.
GDT: I’ll say.
Ghaleon: Well, good news out of this I suppose is that we found out what happened to Rebel.
Majin: funi lady?
Ghaleon: Yes, the funny lady.
Majin: Hee. *farts*
Everyone else: God! *covers their noses*
Void: *Walking away* I need to go to the lab and get PBX out of that platform… glad that everything is back to normal though.
*Elsewhere, outside of Megalopolis, a figure is standing on a cliff by himself*
???: I must admit, if I hadn’t messed with Agile’s systems to breakdown at that set time, the X-Hunters probably could have defeated the Island Attackers. Since the X-Hunters have now lost yet again however, they will more than likely never return to the status that they had once worked so hard to achieve. And with them out of the way, it will only increase my chances of destroying the Island Attackers personally. Oh yes, this is just the first step in my plan… soon the world shall know me by one name, and tremble in fear by it… Heh heh heh… hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah!!