*It was… nighttime at… a Pepsi factory. Yes, a Pepsi factory.*
Shadowstrike: *Wearing all black* Uh… do you think this is a good idea?
Rebel: *Also wearing black* Of course it is! Pepsi is eeveel. And we’re going to destroy teh eeveel.
Shadowstrike: But don’t you think the others are going to get suspicious of those cardboard cutouts that fell down in the living room?
Security Security Guard: You two, What are you doing on the roof at this time of night?
Shadowstrike: Um, um–
Security Security Guard: It’s night genius.
Shadowstrike: Yes, that is why we are wearing all black, so all the light comes to us.
Security Security Guard: Ok, I see. Have fun.
Rebel: Yeah, you better walk away. Go back to your dunkin’ donuts!
Security Security Guard: What was that!?!
Shadowstrike: YOU IDIOT!
*Meanwhile, at the CIA headquarters*
PBX: Hey Rebel! How come you look funny today?
Cardboard Cutout of Rebel: …
PBX: Ohhhhh I get it. The silent treatment. You can’t make me crack, I’m not as think as you dumb I am! *pokes the cardboard with a stick*
Void: How long do you think it will take for him to figure out thats not really Rebel and Shadowstrike?
Ghaleon: How many centuries can you wait?
Majin: They’re not?
*Outlaw and Deathtuna walk into the room*
Outlaw and Deathtuna: *passes Rebel’s cardboard cutout* Hey Reb.
*They wait for a response, and getting none, Tuna freaks out*
Deathtuna: I’m sick and tired of this Rebel! I do so much around here for you and you barely give me the time of day! What happened to the Coke-addicted mecha-arthropod I fell in love with?
PBX: I thinks that’s the most he’s ever said at once without falling asleep.
Ghaleon: Relax, it’s a cardboard cutout. Rebel and Shadowstrike are off by themselves, probably doing something real important.
Void: You bring up a good point Ghaleon, whatever they’re doing is important, and therefore we shouldnt trust them to get it done properly without screwing something up.
Outlaw: Lets go find them then.
PBX: I call shotgun!
*Back at the pepsi factory*
Rebel: It looks like we have to take this guy head on…
Shadowstrike: Relax, it’s only one guy. We can beat him blindfolded with a stick, like a piniata!
Security Guard: DON’T YOU F****ING MOVE!!!! *holds gun pointed at rebel*
Rebel: Whoa! Look where ya point that thing at!
Security Guard: *Shoots*
Rebel: OH ME GEED!!! He is shooting me with pure acid! You’ve got to help me Shadowstrike!
Shadowstrike: Relax Rebel, it’s only pepsi…
Rebel: It BUUUURNS!!!! *rolls around on the roof*
Shadowstrike: How did you know it’s his weakpoint?
Security Guard: We’ve had these “incidents” before, and we all know that they want to take out pepsi becuse it’s “eeveel” or somthing…so we figured out that it may work like a weapon on them…
*Guard looks at Shadowstrike*
Security Guard: …
Security Guard: DON’T YOU F****ING MOVE!!!
Rebel: *Passes out*
Shadowstrike: Okay, it’s all up to me now…
Security Guard: ALL UNITS!!! WE HAVE INTRUDERS ON THE ROOF!!!
*26.3 seconds later*
Rebel: Urgh…what happened? *looks around and sees all the guards piled up* …Did you do all that?
Shadowstrike: No, right wen you passed out, the guard was calling for help, so it was me against 30 or so guards. Then, just like that, a gnome dropped out of the sky and had taken them out faster then Majin can drink a six pack of beer! Then he reanimated you, and just disappeared again.
Rebel: …No, what REALLY happened?
Shadowstrike: Okay, well, I had a can of coke on me and then I–
Rebel: You don’t need to say any more.
Shadowstrike: Should we attack now or wait ’till later?
Rebel: We destroy the eeveel today.
*At Trump’s office*
Trump: I am so glad I own pepsi, now to buy coke and make it pepsi!
Assistant: That is next week.
Trump: Oh, yeah.
*Suddenly Rebel gets run over by the CIA van*
Outlaw: Knew he would find Rebel’s cache of cokes.
Rebel: Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch… GOD DAMN IT YOU STUPID CRAB!!
PBX: Hee hee. *burps*
Majin: Ho ho. *farts*
Zero: Hah hah. *blows up*
Void: All randomness aside, are you guys planning on destroying a Pepsi factory?
Rebel and Shadowstrike: …No…
Void: Are you planning on destroying every Pepsi factory in the world?
Rebel and Shadowstrike: …YES! *starts dancing*
Void: You do realize that this is totally wrong and only a complete idiot would join you on this right?
Outlaw: I’m in.
Void: Shut up Cra… Outlaw?
Outlaw: Hey, any mission that involves me getting free soda is a good mission.
Shadowstrike: Think he could drink an entire van of it?
Rebel: As long as I don’t have to.
PBX: I found a bug and named it Bill!
Bill: Step on me.
Ghaleon: Well whatever we are going to do we had better hurry. I think the cops are coming.
Rebel: Now we have to figure out to get inside…
*Shadowstrike picks up PBX and throws him in through the window*
PBX: *Covered in glass* YAY! Cuts!
Rebel: WITHOUT making noise.
Shadowstrike: It helped when you said it before I threw him.
Trump: *Over the intercom* Ah, welcome. C:IA, I was waiting for you…
Deathtuna: Izzzzzzzzzzzz that…?
Ghaleon: No, it can’t be!
PBX: Save me Bill!
Trump: Yes, it is I! Donald Trump! And once I have taken care of you, I will enslave coke, and rule the world!
Void: How will taking care of us help you get rid of coke?
Trump: It is easy, Rebel is the one who buys the most coke of the entire world, and what do you think what happens if I can get rid of him?
Majin: then you get you mother out of her socks and put her in charge of the president, so every time the purple lizard farts, the rain will fall upwards! i need scizors! 61! *hick*
Trump: …That’s the most briliant idea I have ever heared.
Steve Irwin: Crikey! It’s a wild gatah!
Ghaleon: Oh no…
Outlaw: *Gets hit by a butterfly net* AHH SOMEONE SAVE ME!!
Trump: Who the heck is this idiot?
Ghaleon: You just answered that question.
Steve Irwin: *sees Trump* Crikey! That man has some sortah rare fungi growin’ outta his head! Let’s help ‘im out by takin’ this here razah and shavin’ it!
Trump’s Hair: Skree! Save me! Get me out of heeeeere!
*Trump runs into the building and takes off in a flying saucer*
Trump: I bought this off of Wily in the year 20XX through eBay. *flies away*
Void: Man… what CAN’T you get off of eBay?
Rebel: A life.
Outlaw: Get this guy off me! *realizes how small the net is* Wait. Nevermind.
*Outlaw grabs the handle of the net, picks up Irwin, and hurls him into the next county*
Steve Irwin: Crikey, I’ll be baaaaaaaaaaaack!
Rebel: Okay now where were we… oh yeah, the eveel pepsi.
Bill: Not if I can help it!
Bill: You should have stepped on me when you had the chance, for I am actually…
*Jumps up in the air and goes “poof” but nothing changed*
Bill: Damn, let me try that again.
*Does so, but this time he reveals himself to be…*
Ghaleon: What the…
Dark Pepsi: That’s right, I am the almighty DARK PEPSI, bringer of Pepsi!
Rebel: *Has fainted*
*Void sighs and rolls his eyes a bit*
Void: So… let’s get this straight… you’re Dark Pepsi… so that means there is a Light Pepsi around somewhere then.
Dark Pepsi: What? No! Of course not!
Void: But with out Light, bad things will happen…
Dark Pepsi: Like what?
Void: Well… it would be the end of the world; of the universe, as we know it.
Dark Pepsi: You mean…
Void: Exactly! Coke would take over everything!
Dark Pepsi: No!! I will not allow myself to fall to the hands of the Light Pepsi, nor teh eveel Coke!
Rebel: *Wakes back up* Oh no, you did not just call teh pure Coke eveel.
Dark Pepsi: I did call Coke teh eveel.
PBX: Yay for teh eveel!
Rebel: BRING IT BIYOTCH!! MAJIN GO GET ‘EM!!
Majin: RARARARARAR. *goes DBZ on Dark Pepsi*
Dark Pepsi: *Sprays Pepsi on Majin*
Majin: *Absorbs it*
Dark Pepsi: …Damn it.
Majin: *Proceeds to kick butt*
Outlaw: That’s hardcore right there.
*While the evil dark pepsi is getting his butt handed to him by a drunken Majin*
Rebel: Okay Shadow, once Majin is through we can continue what we were doing.
Shadowstrike: What was that again? Oh yeah, soda!
Void: Damn you guys have a one track mind. Don’t you think we should just get out of here while we can?
Deathtuna: What do you mean, “While we can?”
Void: Look, since we’ve been here we have been attacked by Trump, that Irwin guy…
Outlaw: *Shudder* I hate that guy.
Void: And now… whatever that guy is. It won’t be long before something else comes along.
Void: I bet the next vilians who pop-ups will be…
Deathtuna: What a funny world we live in.
Rebel: Whatever, we can’t let only Majin kick ass today… C:IA, attack!
Outlaw: What is it?
Agile: We are only here to clean up this mess.
Rebel: Oh, so you guys–
Serges: Yes, we work here now.
Violen: We hit rock-bottom this time… never knew this was possible.
Agile: Shut up and start cleaning.
*At the same time, evil pepsi’s hot steaming corpse hits the ground*
Ghaleon: Wow, never knew Majin had it in him.
*Majin stands there, looking more drunk then normal*
Outlaw: You don’t look so good… are you all right?
*Majin throws a mix of pepsi and beer over Rebel*
Rebel: *Stands there frozen with eyes wide open from what just happened*
Serges: Um, Violen, can you clean that? *points at Rebel*
Agile: *Runs off* Yeah, have fun…
*Meanwhile, Rebel just noticed that it was not only beer on him, but, pepsi as well.*
Rebel: No, not that! *runs around, crashing into the walls of the factory. One of the walls falls, and, a gusher of pepsi hits Rebel*
PBX: YAY PEPSI!
Rebel: *Combusts into flames* Ow.
Void: Er, right.
Outlaw: Uh, I guess our work is done?
Rebel: Ow, ow.
Serges: Right. Have fun then.
Ghaleon: You too!
Violen: *Tosses Rebel into a trashcan* Bye!
*Elsewhere, inside the pepsi factory*
???: Ah, the comfort of a beautiful pepsi factory. And now with that Dark Pepsi… thing, is out of the way, I can finally destroy the CIA. FIRE THE MISSILES!!
*Back on the roof, PBX and Outlaw are roasting food over Rebel’s burning body in the trash can. Marshmellows for PBX, and things found in the trashcan for Outlaw.*
Outlaw: Hey, something on my stick is still wiggling. Anyone want a bite?
Deathtuna: Uh guys, don’t you think you should put him out? Out of all of us here you two would be best at putting out fires.
PBX: Can we wait until my food is done?
Shadowstrike: *Takes PBX’s marshmellows* They’re good when melty.
Void: Looks like you’re done. Hose him down.
Rebel: Yeah! And make it quick, I’m starting to Bar-B-Q here.
*PBX pours water over Rebel but he keeps burning*
Void: That’s weird. I wonder what will put him out?
Majin: *Really, really, really drunk* OoHh I’lltellyouwhenI’vehadenough…Coke gotshhh a polar bear..
Shadowstrike: That’s it!
PBX: We save him with a polar bear?
Void: No, coke can heal him! Besides, where would we get a polar bear this time of night?
*The “Code:Island Attackers Missile Detection System” (C:IAMDS) starts.*
Void: Who the Hell tampered with the alarm?
Ghaleon: I did. I did not like that loud drilling noise, so I changed it so that it still stands out, and sounds more relaxing.
Void: I can’t believe that a cow sounds relaxing to you…
Rebel: *Stands up from the trashcan, fixed by outlaw dropping his coke* TO THE C:IAMDS!!!
*Everyone runs to the C:IAMDS*
Shadowstrike: Wow, I never knew of this room.
Void: I got it off eBay. Knew it would come in handy one day.
Rebel: What’s the situation, Void?
Void: Some really big missiles are coming this way, and unless we do something, we are all going to die a horrible death, and turn into dust.
PBX: I like dust. When I breath it in, it makes my head spin…
Shadowstrike: *Looks at radar* THERE ARE 26 MISSILES COMING THIS WAY?!
Void: No, it’s ketchup. *wipes the screen*
Shadowstrike: Ohhh…THERE ARE 25 MISSILES COMING THIS WAY?!
Void: Don’t panic, I got something planned for when something like this was ever going to happen! PBX!
Void: You know about the big red button with “DON’T PUSH!!!” on it, that is in my lab?
PBX: OH! And you warned me that you would rip me apart limb-to-limb, while torturing me by playing Britney Spears albums when I EVER get the idea to push it?
Void: That’s the one, you can press it now.
*PBX presses the big red button, but nothing happens*
Rebel: …Why is nothing happening, Void?
Void: …Who pressed the button before?
Majin: *Sober* I did. I was really, really drunk, and I was thought it was a vending machine.
Outlaw: Oh, so those news reports of citiess burning down and people becoming homeless were NOT terrorist attacks? I’m so glad…
Deathtuna: No time for that! The missiles will strike!!! Think Void, think!!!
Void: *Thinks* I’VE GOT IT! But for this, I need Ghaleon, Shadowstrike and Majin.
Rebel: For what?
Void: No time to explain! MAJIN! Bind Ghaleon to Shadowstrike’s back!
*Majin binds Ghaleon to Shadowstrike’s back*
Shadowstrike: HEY! What was that for?!
Void: Now, run to the inactive volcano, ASAP!!! PBX, Rebel, look at the monitors of how long we still have! Outlaw you–
Outlaw: –HIDE IN THE SEWERS LIKE A COWARD!!! *dives*
Rebel: …Son of a–
*At the same time, Shadowstrike runs to the volcano*
Ghaleon: Why is it taking so long?
Shadowstrike: Gee, I never tried to run really fast with a Reploid bound to my back before… how can that be?
*At the same time, in the sewers*
Outlaw: I feel sorry about letting my best friends behind…I KNOW! I’ll find rotten food to make me feel better!
*In the volcano*
Shadowstrike: *Over the radio* Okay, we made it Void, now what?
Void: Try to start ithe volcano again with Ghaleon’s fire. The missiles follow heat, and when you activate the volcano, they will fly there!
Ghaleon: …Ehh, I might be missing something here, but won’t we, kind of, die?
Void: You have to take one for the team!
Ghaleon and Shadowstrike: …
PBX: GO TEAM!!! =D
*Back in the sewers*
Outlaw: Huh? What’s this?
Charlie: No! Don’t eat me! I’m Charlie, the purple aligator!
Outlaw: Ehhhh…you look more like a goldfish.
Charlie: I’m a mutant.
Outlaw: ‘Kay. *is about to put Charlie in his mouth*
Charlie: WAIT!!! If you don’t do it, I will grant you a wish!
*Back at the volcano*
Ghaleon: No freakin’ way I will do that!
Rebel: If you don’t do it, IT will get it. *holds up the PS1 game Lunar, blindfolded with a knife pointed to it*
Ghaleon: NO! I will do it! As long as the game lives!
*Ghaleon fires up the volcano*
Void: *Looks at the radar* We are dead…
Rebel: …What is it?
Void: Only 5 missiles went to the volcano, and the rest are still going this way…
PBX: If it makes you feel more easy, I’ve always loved you guys.
*Back at the volcano*
Shadowstrike: I DON’T WANT TO DIE WITH GHALEON! HE SUCKS!!!
*Back at the C:IA*
Computer: THE MISSILES WILL STRIKE IN; 9-8-7-6-5-4-
*Back in the sewers*
Outlaw: So I can wish for anything? THEN I WISH THAT THE MISSILES ARE GONE!!!
Charlie: I can’t make stuff disappear, if I do that, they will pop-up somewhere else.
Outlaw: Hmm, can I chose where it goes?
*At the volcano*
Ghaleon: Haha, I can jump out. *starts to wall jump out*
*Shadowstrike throws a sonic slicer, Ghaloen falls but Shadow catches him, he then ties him to a pole.*
Shadowstrike: If I have to die, you have to die.
*Back in the sewers*
Outlaw: (I wonder what’s for dinner…)
Charlie: JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY GOD!!
Outlaw: The X-Hunters! They’re the only ones who can survive such an explosion and live to tell the tale! *sobs*
Charlie: Very well.
*Back at the CIA’s van*
Rebel: OMG WE ARE GOING TO DIE!!! *clings onto Void*
PBX: OMGZERS!!! *clings onto Void*
Deathtuna: *Sleeping on Void’s head*
Void: I’m gonna die the way I lived.
*Suddenly the missiles disappeared*
Rebel, PBX, Deathtuna, Void, Majin: …Yay!
*Suddenly the missiles reappear a few feet away from them*
Rebel, PBX, Deathtuna, Void, Majin: …Boo!
Agile: Oh, shut up.
Void: Okay, what the Hell just happened?
*Suddenly Shadowstrike returns*
Shadowstrike: You guys won’t belive this but…
Rebel: The missiles that were coming towards you just disappeared right?
Shadowstrike: Wow, how did you know?
Majin: Same thing here too.
Deathtuna: *Wakes up* Are we dead yet?
*Outlaw emerges from the sewer*
Outlaw: Hey guys, this mutant thingy grants wishies!
Void: So that’s how the missiles did that.
PBX: He grants wishes?! I want a pony, ice cream, and a…
Charlie: That was a one time deal. No more wishes.
PBX: Awwwww. Why not?
Charlie: Listen you stupid @#!%, I would have loved to see all you !@&*ers get blown up!
Void: Rude little thing, aren’t you? If that’s the case why did you help?
Charlie: Geeze you guys are !@#$ing stupid. I didn’t want to be…
*Outlaw throws Charlie on his mouth, chews and swallows*
Outlaw: He was getting on my nerves.
Everyone else: WHOOO!
Rebel: I was so hoping you would do that!
Majin: I’ll drink to that!
Rebel: So, is that it?
Shadowstrike: Looks like it.
Outlaw: I had fun today.
Everyone else: *Stares in disbelief*
Void: I can’t help but think we forgot something….
*Back at the volcano*
Ghaleon: *Still chained* Hello? Anybody there…?
*In the ruins of the pepsi factory… or teh eeveel…*
Agile: *Under a pile of rubble* HOLY CRAP.
Serges: That was… painful.
Violen: *On top of Agile* At least we survived!
Man: Excuse me, sirs, but would ye mind if you were to explain to me on how you managed to live to tell the tale of this onslaught of missiles?
Agile: What’s in it for us?
Man: You’ll get paid millions.
Man: No, I lied. *leaves*
Violen: *Cries hysterically*
???: Well, the Pepsi factory scheme may have gone up in smokes, but it no longer matters! I have successfully learned all of the CIA’s pathetic attacks and strategies, and then some. Just you wait; I shall be making my grand appearance soon…