The Really Effed Up Misadventure

*Team Collaboration*

*It was… nighttime at… a Pepsi factory. Yes, a Pepsi factory.*

Shadowstrike: *Wearing all black* Uh… do you think this is a good idea?

Rebel: *Also wearing black* Of course it is! Pepsi is eeveel. And we’re going to destroy teh eeveel.

Shadowstrike: But don’t you think the others are going to get suspicious of those cardboard cutouts that fell down in the living room?

Rebel: …

Shadowstrike: …

Rebel: …

Shadowstrike: …

Rebel: …No.

Shadowstrike: ‘Kay.

Security Security Guard: You two, What are you doing on the roof at this time of night?

Shadowstrike: Um, um–

Rebel: Sunbathing

Security Security Guard: It’s night genius.

Shadowstrike: Yes, that is why we are wearing all black, so all the light comes to us.

Security Security Guard: Ok, I see. Have fun.

Rebel: Yeah, you better walk away. Go back to your dunkin’ donuts!

Security Security Guard: What was that!?!

Shadowstrike: YOU IDIOT!

*Meanwhile, at the CIA headquarters*

PBX: Hey Rebel! How come you look funny today?

Cardboard Cutout of Rebel: …

PBX: Ohhhhh I get it. The silent treatment. You can’t make me crack, I’m not as think as you dumb I am! *pokes the cardboard with a stick*

Void: How long do you think it will take for him to figure out thats not really Rebel and Shadowstrike?

Ghaleon: How many centuries can you wait?

Majin: They’re not?

*Outlaw and Deathtuna walk into the room*

Outlaw and Deathtuna: *passes Rebel’s cardboard cutout* Hey Reb.

*They wait for a response, and getting none, Tuna freaks out*

Deathtuna: I’m sick and tired of this Rebel! I do so much around here for you and you barely give me the time of day! What happened to the Coke-addicted mecha-arthropod I fell in love with?

PBX: I thinks that’s the most he’s ever said at once without falling asleep.

Ghaleon: Relax, it’s a cardboard cutout. Rebel and Shadowstrike are off by themselves, probably doing something real important.

Void: You bring up a good point Ghaleon, whatever they’re doing is important, and therefore we shouldnt trust them to get it done properly without screwing something up.

Outlaw: Lets go find them then.

PBX: I call shotgun!

*Back at the pepsi factory*

Rebel: It looks like we have to take this guy head on…

Shadowstrike: Relax, it’s only one guy. We can beat him blindfolded with a stick, like a piniata!

Security Guard: DON’T YOU F****ING MOVE!!!! *holds gun pointed at rebel*

Rebel: Whoa! Look where ya point that thing at!

Security Guard: *Shoots*

Rebel: OH ME GEED!!! He is shooting me with pure acid! You’ve got to help me Shadowstrike!

Shadowstrike: Relax Rebel, it’s only pepsi…

Rebel: It BUUUURNS!!!! *rolls around on the roof*

Shadowstrike: How did you know it’s his weakpoint?

Security Guard: We’ve had these “incidents” before, and we all know that they want to take out pepsi becuse it’s “eeveel” or somthing…so we figured out that it may work like a weapon on them…

*Guard looks at Shadowstrike*

Shadowstrike: …

Security Guard: …

Shadowstrike: …

Security Guard: DON’T YOU F****ING MOVE!!!

Rebel: *Passes out*

Shadowstrike: Okay, it’s all up to me now…

Security Guard: ALL UNITS!!! WE HAVE INTRUDERS ON THE ROOF!!!

Shadowstrike: Great.

*26.3 seconds later*

Rebel: Urgh…what happened? *looks around and sees all the guards piled up* …Did you do all that?

Shadowstrike: No, right wen you passed out, the guard was calling for help, so it was me against 30 or so guards. Then, just like that, a gnome dropped out of the sky and had taken them out faster then Majin can drink a six pack of beer! Then he reanimated you, and just disappeared again.

Rebel:….

Shadowstrike:….
Rebel: …No, what REALLY happened?

Shadowstrike: Okay, well, I had a can of coke on me and then I–

Rebel: You don’t need to say any more.

Shadowstrike: Should we attack now or wait ’till later?

Rebel: We destroy the eeveel today.

*At Trump’s office*

Trump: I am so glad I own pepsi, now to buy coke and make it pepsi!

Assistant: That is next week.

Trump: Oh, yeah.
*Suddenly Rebel gets run over by the CIA van*

PBX: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY.

Outlaw: Knew he would find Rebel’s cache of cokes.

Rebel: Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch… GOD DAMN IT YOU STUPID CRAB!!

PBX: Hee hee. *burps*

Majin: Ho ho. *farts*

Zero: Hah hah. *blows up*

Void: All randomness aside, are you guys planning on destroying a Pepsi factory?

Rebel and Shadowstrike: …No…

Void: Are you planning on destroying every Pepsi factory in the world?

Rebel and Shadowstrike: …YES! *starts dancing*

Void: You do realize that this is totally wrong and only a complete idiot would join you on this right?

Outlaw: I’m in.

Void: Shut up Cra… Outlaw?

Outlaw: Hey, any mission that involves me getting free soda is a good mission.

Shadowstrike: Think he could drink an entire van of it?

Rebel: As long as I don’t have to.

PBX: I found a bug and named it Bill!

Bill: Step on me.

Ghaleon: Well whatever we are going to do we had better hurry. I think the cops are coming.

Rebel: Now we have to figure out to get inside…

Shadowstrike: Easy.

*Shadowstrike picks up PBX and throws him in through the window*

PBX: *Covered in glass* YAY! Cuts!

Rebel: WITHOUT making noise.

Shadowstrike: It helped when you said it before I threw him.

Trump: *Over the intercom* Ah, welcome. C:IA, I was waiting for you…

Deathtuna: Izzzzzzzzzzzz that…?

Ghaleon: No, it can’t be!

PBX: Save me Bill!

Trump: Yes, it is I! Donald Trump! And once I have taken care of you, I will enslave coke, and rule the world!

Void: How will taking care of us help you get rid of coke?

Trump: It is easy, Rebel is the one who buys the most coke of the entire world, and what do you think what happens if I can get rid of him?

Majin: then you get you mother out of her socks and put her in charge of the president, so every time the purple lizard farts, the rain will fall upwards! i need scizors! 61! *hick*

C:IA: …

Trump: …That’s the most briliant idea I have ever heared.

Steve Irwin: Crikey! It’s a wild gatah!

Ghaleon: Oh no…

Outlaw: *Gets hit by a butterfly net* AHH SOMEONE SAVE ME!!

Trump: Who the heck is this idiot?

Ghaleon: You just answered that question.

Trump: Ah…

Steve Irwin: *sees Trump* Crikey! That man has some sortah rare fungi growin’ outta his head! Let’s help ‘im out by takin’ this here razah and shavin’ it!

Trump’s Hair: Skree! Save me! Get me out of heeeeere!

*Trump runs into the building and takes off in a flying saucer*

Trump: I bought this off of Wily in the year 20XX through eBay. *flies away*

Void: Man… what CAN’T you get off of eBay?

Rebel: A life.

Outlaw: Get this guy off me! *realizes how small the net is* Wait. Nevermind.

*Outlaw grabs the handle of the net, picks up Irwin, and hurls him into the next county*

Steve Irwin: Crikey, I’ll be baaaaaaaaaaaack!

Rebel: Okay now where were we… oh yeah, the eveel pepsi.

Bill: Not if I can help it!

Shadowstrike: Huh?

Bill: You should have stepped on me when you had the chance, for I am actually…

*Jumps up in the air and goes “poof” but nothing changed*

Void: Ummmm…

Bill: Damn, let me try that again.

*Does so, but this time he reveals himself to be…*

Ghaleon: What the…

Dark Pepsi: That’s right, I am the almighty DARK PEPSI, bringer of Pepsi!

Rebel: *Has fainted*

*Void sighs and rolls his eyes a bit*

Void: So… let’s get this straight… you’re Dark Pepsi… so that means there is a Light Pepsi around somewhere then.

Dark Pepsi: What? No! Of course not!

Void: But with out Light, bad things will happen…

Dark Pepsi: Like what?

Void: Well… it would be the end of the world; of the universe, as we know it.

Dark Pepsi: You mean…

Void: Exactly! Coke would take over everything!

Dark Pepsi: No!! I will not allow myself to fall to the hands of the Light Pepsi, nor teh eveel Coke!

Rebel: *Wakes back up* Oh no, you did not just call teh pure Coke eveel.

Dark Pepsi: I did call Coke teh eveel.

PBX: Yay for teh eveel!

Rebel: BRING IT BIYOTCH!! MAJIN GO GET ‘EM!!

Majin: RARARARARAR. *goes DBZ on Dark Pepsi*

Dark Pepsi: *Sprays Pepsi on Majin*

Majin: *Absorbs it*

Dark Pepsi: …Damn it.

Majin: *Proceeds to kick butt*

Outlaw: That’s hardcore right there.

*While the evil dark pepsi is getting his butt handed to him by a drunken Majin*

Rebel: Okay Shadow, once Majin is through we can continue what we were doing.

Shadowstrike: What was that again? Oh yeah, soda!

Void: Damn you guys have a one track mind. Don’t you think we should just get out of here while we can?

Deathtuna: What do you mean, “While we can?”

Void: Look, since we’ve been here we have been attacked by Trump, that Irwin guy…

Outlaw: *Shudder* I hate that guy.

Void: And now… whatever that guy is. It won’t be long before something else comes along.

Void: I bet the next vilians who pop-ups will be…

*X-hunters appear*

Deathtuna: What a funny world we live in.

Rebel: Whatever, we can’t let only Majin kick ass today… C:IA, attack!

Agile: WAIT!

Outlaw: What is it?

Agile: We are only here to clean up this mess.

Rebel: Oh, so you guys–

Serges: Yes, we work here now.

Violen: We hit rock-bottom this time… never knew this was possible.

Agile: Shut up and start cleaning.

*At the same time, evil pepsi’s hot steaming corpse hits the ground*

Ghaleon: Wow, never knew Majin had it in him.

*Majin stands there, looking more drunk then normal*

Outlaw: You don’t look so good… are you all right?

*Majin throws a mix of pepsi and beer over Rebel*

Rebel: *Stands there frozen with eyes wide open from what just happened*

Serges: Um, Violen, can you clean that? *points at Rebel*

Agile: *Runs off* Yeah, have fun…

Violen: ‘KAY!

*Meanwhile, Rebel just noticed that it was not only beer on him, but, pepsi as well.*

Rebel: No, not that! *runs around, crashing into the walls of the factory. One of the walls falls, and, a gusher of pepsi hits Rebel*

Outlaw: Owchies.

PBX: YAY PEPSI!

Rebel: *Combusts into flames* Ow.

Void: Er, right.

Rebel: Ow.

Outlaw: Uh, I guess our work is done?

Rebel: Ow, ow.

Serges: Right. Have fun then.

Ghaleon: You too!

Violen: *Tosses Rebel into a trashcan* Bye!

*Elsewhere, inside the pepsi factory*

???: Ah, the comfort of a beautiful pepsi factory. And now with that Dark Pepsi… thing, is out of the way, I can finally destroy the CIA. FIRE THE MISSILES!!

*Back on the roof, PBX and Outlaw are roasting food over Rebel’s burning body in the trash can. Marshmellows for PBX, and things found in the trashcan for Outlaw.*

Outlaw: Hey, something on my stick is still wiggling. Anyone want a bite?

Ghaleon: Ew.

Deathtuna: Uh guys, don’t you think you should put him out? Out of all of us here you two would be best at putting out fires.

PBX: Can we wait until my food is done?

Shadowstrike: *Takes PBX’s marshmellows* They’re good when melty.

Void: Looks like you’re done. Hose him down.

Rebel: Yeah! And make it quick, I’m starting to Bar-B-Q here.

*PBX pours water over Rebel but he keeps burning*

Void: That’s weird. I wonder what will put him out?

Majin: *Really, really, really drunk* OoHh I’lltellyouwhenI’vehadenough…Coke gotshhh a polar bear..

Shadowstrike: That’s it!

PBX: We save him with a polar bear?

Void: No, coke can heal him! Besides, where would we get a polar bear this time of night?

*The “Code:Island Attackers Missile Detection System” (C:IAMDS) starts.*

C:IAMDS: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Void: Who the Hell tampered with the alarm?

Ghaleon: I did. I did not like that loud drilling noise, so I changed it so that it still stands out, and sounds more relaxing.

Void: I can’t believe that a cow sounds relaxing to you…

Rebel: *Stands up from the trashcan, fixed by outlaw dropping his coke* TO THE C:IAMDS!!!

*Everyone runs to the C:IAMDS*

Shadowstrike: Wow, I never knew of this room.

Void: I got it off eBay. Knew it would come in handy one day.

Rebel: What’s the situation, Void?

Void: Some really big missiles are coming this way, and unless we do something, we are all going to die a horrible death, and turn into dust.

PBX: I like dust. When I breath it in, it makes my head spin…

Shadowstrike: *Looks at radar* THERE ARE 26 MISSILES COMING THIS WAY?!

Void: No, it’s ketchup. *wipes the screen*

Shadowstrike: Ohhh…THERE ARE 25 MISSILES COMING THIS WAY?!

Void: Don’t panic, I got something planned for when something like this was ever going to happen! PBX!

PBX: Yes?

Void: You know about the big red button with “DON’T PUSH!!!” on it, that is in my lab?

PBX: OH! And you warned me that you would rip me apart limb-to-limb, while torturing me by playing Britney Spears albums when I EVER get the idea to push it?

Void: That’s the one, you can press it now.

*PBX presses the big red button, but nothing happens*

Rebel: …Why is nothing happening, Void?

Void: …Who pressed the button before?

Majin: *Sober* I did. I was really, really drunk, and I was thought it was a vending machine.

Outlaw: Oh, so those news reports of citiess burning down and people becoming homeless were NOT terrorist attacks? I’m so glad…

Deathtuna: No time for that! The missiles will strike!!! Think Void, think!!!

Void: *Thinks* I’VE GOT IT! But for this, I need Ghaleon, Shadowstrike and Majin.

Rebel: For what?

Void: No time to explain! MAJIN! Bind Ghaleon to Shadowstrike’s back!

*Majin binds Ghaleon to Shadowstrike’s back*

Shadowstrike: HEY! What was that for?!

Void: Now, run to the inactive volcano, ASAP!!! PBX, Rebel, look at the monitors of how long we still have! Outlaw you–

Outlaw: –HIDE IN THE SEWERS LIKE A COWARD!!! *dives*

Rebel: …Son of a–

*At the same time, Shadowstrike runs to the volcano*

Ghaleon: Why is it taking so long?

Shadowstrike: Gee, I never tried to run really fast with a Reploid bound to my back before… how can that be?

*At the same time, in the sewers*

Outlaw: I feel sorry about letting my best friends behind…I KNOW! I’ll find rotten food to make me feel better!

*In the volcano*

Shadowstrike: *Over the radio* Okay, we made it Void, now what?

Void: Try to start ithe volcano again with Ghaleon’s fire. The missiles follow heat, and when you activate the volcano, they will fly there!

Ghaleon: …Ehh, I might be missing something here, but won’t we, kind of, die?

Void: You have to take one for the team!

Ghaleon and Shadowstrike: …

PBX: GO TEAM!!! =D

*Back in the sewers*

Outlaw: Huh? What’s this?

Charlie: No! Don’t eat me! I’m Charlie, the purple aligator!

Outlaw: Ehhhh…you look more like a goldfish.

Charlie: I’m a mutant.

Outlaw: ‘Kay. *is about to put Charlie in his mouth*

Charlie: WAIT!!! If you don’t do it, I will grant you a wish!

*Back at the volcano*

Ghaleon: No freakin’ way I will do that!

Rebel: If you don’t do it, IT will get it. *holds up the PS1 game Lunar, blindfolded with a knife pointed to it*

Ghaleon: NO! I will do it! As long as the game lives!

*Ghaleon fires up the volcano*

Deathtuna: YAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

Void: *Looks at the radar* We are dead…

Rebel: …What is it?

Void: Only 5 missiles went to the volcano, and the rest are still going this way…

PBX: If it makes you feel more easy, I’ve always loved you guys.

*Back at the volcano*

Shadowstrike: I DON’T WANT TO DIE WITH GHALEON! HE SUCKS!!!

*Back at the C:IA*

Computer: THE MISSILES WILL STRIKE IN; 9-8-7-6-5-4-

*Back in the sewers*

Outlaw: So I can wish for anything? THEN I WISH THAT THE MISSILES ARE GONE!!!

Charlie: I can’t make stuff disappear, if I do that, they will pop-up somewhere else.

Outlaw: Hmm, can I chose where it goes?

Charlie: Yes.

Outlaw: Hmm…

*At the volcano*

Ghaleon: Haha, I can jump out. *starts to wall jump out*

*Shadowstrike throws a sonic slicer, Ghaloen falls but Shadow catches him, he then ties him to a pole.*

Shadowstrike: If I have to die, you have to die.

*Back in the sewers*

Outlaw: (I wonder what’s for dinner…)

Charlie: JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY GOD!!

Outlaw: The X-Hunters! They’re the only ones who can survive such an explosion and live to tell the tale! *sobs*

Charlie: Very well.

*Back at the CIA’s van*

Rebel: OMG WE ARE GOING TO DIE!!! *clings onto Void*

PBX: OMGZERS!!! *clings onto Void*

Deathtuna: *Sleeping on Void’s head*

Void: I’m gonna die the way I lived.

*Suddenly the missiles disappeared*

Rebel, PBX, Deathtuna, Void, Majin: …Yay!

*Suddenly the missiles reappear a few feet away from them*

Rebel, PBX, Deathtuna, Void, Majin: …Boo!

Agile: Oh, shut up.

Serges: Please.

KABOOM!

Void: Okay, what the Hell just happened?

*Suddenly Shadowstrike returns*

Shadowstrike: You guys won’t belive this but…

Rebel: The missiles that were coming towards you just disappeared right?

Shadowstrike: Wow, how did you know?

Majin: Same thing here too.

Deathtuna: *Wakes up* Are we dead yet?

*Outlaw emerges from the sewer*

Outlaw: Hey guys, this mutant thingy grants wishies!

Void: So that’s how the missiles did that.

PBX: He grants wishes?! I want a pony, ice cream, and a…

Charlie: That was a one time deal. No more wishes.

PBX: Awwwww. Why not?

Charlie: Listen you stupid @#!%, I would have loved to see all you !@&*ers get blown up!

Rebel: Whoa.

Void: Rude little thing, aren’t you? If that’s the case why did you help?

Charlie: Geeze you guys are !@#$ing stupid. I didn’t want to be…

*Outlaw throws Charlie on his mouth, chews and swallows*

Outlaw: He was getting on my nerves.

Everyone else: WHOOO!

Rebel: I was so hoping you would do that!

Majin: I’ll drink to that!

Rebel: So, is that it?

Shadowstrike: Looks like it.

Outlaw: I had fun today.

Everyone else: *Stares in disbelief*

Outlaw: What?

Void: I can’t help but think we forgot something….

*Back at the volcano*

Ghaleon: *Still chained* Hello? Anybody there…?

*In the ruins of the pepsi factory… or teh eeveel…*

Agile: *Under a pile of rubble* HOLY CRAP.

Serges: That was… painful.

Violen: *On top of Agile* At least we survived!

Man: Excuse me, sirs, but would ye mind if you were to explain to me on how you managed to live to tell the tale of this onslaught of missiles?

Agile: What’s in it for us?

Man: You’ll get paid millions.

X-Hunters: Really?!

Man: No, I lied. *leaves*

Violen: *Cries hysterically*

The End

???: Well, the Pepsi factory scheme may have gone up in smokes, but it no longer matters! I have successfully learned all of the CIA’s pathetic attacks and strategies, and then some. Just you wait; I shall be making my grand appearance soon…

 

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