Civic Duty

*Written by Shadowstrike*

*It was another morning for the Island Attackers… yadda, yadda, yadda…*

Rebel: Ok, do you all understand?

Shadowstrike: I don’t.

Rebel: What do you mean you don’t understand?

Deathtuna: All you did was walk into this room and say “Ok, do you all understand?”

Rebel: Oh, right, right. Void–I require a plan right here and right now before I bitchslap you.

Void: *sigh* Let me explain, since Rebel seems to have “forgotten”. Later today, the court case of World v. Trump case is going to happen. We have been called there as witnesses of his evil.

Rebel: *slaps Void*

Void: *hand over where he was slapped* What the hell was that for?

Rebel: Your story was boring.

Majin: chikenz i not do go want

Outlaw: Why do we have to go? I thought that affidavit we signed was enough.

Ghaleon: Isn’t he set for jail any way?

PBX: Courtrooms are boring!

Rebel: They will be giving us a bribe of 10 million gold coins!

Shadowstrike:…

Outlaw: …

Ghaleon: …

PBX: Plumber money! Yay!

Deathtuna: With money like that, maybe Outlaw will stop eating garbage!

Outlaw: But I like garbage!

Ghaleon: But it makes the rest of us sick!

Outlaw: What!? You mean you didn’t like my sewer rat flambe? Or my composite surprise?

Ghaleon: No we–*is gagged*

Rebel: Of course we did! It just looks like it’s time for Ghaleon’s meds.

Shadowstrike: Ghaleon doesn’t take meds.

Rebel: Of course he does. PBX, do me a favor, go grab the coolest looking liquid from Void’s lab.

PBX: But you said not to–

Rebel: Well I’m un-saying it! Now go!

*PBX runs off*

Void: I hope he doesn’t grab the nitroglycerin.

Ghaleon: *eyes go wide* LET ME GO!

PBX: Okay! I got his nice shiny red one with blue things floating in it!

Rebel: Alrighty. Void, what is this one?

Void: Nothing major, just a Reploid knock out agent. It will make him have a nice nightmare for about an hour. So, don’t use the whole–*SMASH*–thing… let’s just get out of here…

*In the C:IA Hanger*

Deathtuna, Shadowstrike, Rebel: I’M FLYING!

Deathtuna: WHAT? I SHOULD DRIVE! I NEVER GET TO!

Shadowstrike: It is most logical to let me! I was a pilot for the reploid army before the C:IA work.

Rebel: I should fly because you all suck.

PBX: I know how to solve this….

*A few minutes later, in the C:IAFAV (Code: Island Attackers Flying Attack Vehicle [a flying winnebago]), Deathtuna, Shadowstrike and Rebel are superglued to the wall as PBX has his butt on the steering wheel driving with it*

Ghaleon: *wakes up* AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE HELL? WHO LET PBX FLY A PLANE?!

Void: PBX.

Majin: *standing on the roof* IM A LIDL BURD HEER ME ROUR

Outlaw: *glued to the bottom of the Winnebago* AAAAAHHHHHHHH!! *eats a bird* …Maybe this isn’t so bad…

Void: PBX! YOU HAVE TO LAND OVER THERE!

PBX: OKAY! *turns the Winnebago the wrong way going straight towards a building*

*In the building*

Zero: Come on Iris! Just go out with me tonight!

Iris: I can’t. I have to… um… wash my hair.

Zero: You hair is meta-*Winnebago goes crashing through the building, slamming Zero so hard he explodes… again*

Iris: *sigh of relief* Thank you karma!

Outlaw: OH MY GOD! WHO DID WE JUST KILL?!

Void: *out window* I think it was Zero.

Outlaw: Oh… ok, well, that’s no biggie. I’m certain the Maverick Hunter’s have a Zero Kit to rebuild him.

*The Winnebago starts to land.. .but gets stuck on Outlaw, so PBX lands it vertically*

Void: Ok, Ghaleon, go unglue those three from the wall, I’ll go get Outlaw and Majin. PBX… Go clean up the Zero wreckage!

PBX: OKAY! *runs off*

Ghaleon: *has a crowbar* So… how did this happen?

Rebel: PBX did it.

Shadowstrike: You gave him the glue.

Rebel: You told him how to open it.

Shadowstrike: You told him if he glued me to the wall you would give him a cookie.

Rebel: I did… after he glued me to the wall.

*Outside*

Void: *uses an anti-glue ray*

Outlaw: Why do you have an anti-glue ray?

Void: We live with PBX, no?

Majin: *flaps his arms wildly* FLY BURDI FLY!!!!11

PBX: YAY I AM DONE CLEANING!

Outlaw: What did you do with the pieces?

PBX: I sold it to some kid. Except the hair. I kept the hair. *he turns and shows how he duct taped Zero’s hair to his head*

Void and Outlaw: *anime fall*

Majin: *meows and chases after something only he sees*

*Explosion from inside the winnebago as Rebel and Shadowstrike go flying out the window of the Winnebago and slam into a wall*

Ghaleon: Whoa! And I only used pudding, a spoon, and some wire!

Rebel: *sliding down a wall* Lets… just go in the damn court house already.

*The team is about to enter the court room when they are stopped by a guard*

Guard: STOP! You two, are you Majin and Shadowstrike?

Majin: NO! ME AM LIDL BURDY. *Flaps arms and hits Outlaw in the face*

Rebel: Yes they are, and I have to say I never saw them before in my life. Oh, hey, Shadow, here is that 5 bucks I owed you.

Shadowstrike: Um…are we in trouble?

Guard: No, you have jury duty.

Shadowstrike: …What?

Guard: Jury duty. Didn’t you get the letter?

Ghaleon: We haven’t got mail in about a month.

Majin: *burps up a stamp*

Shadowstrike: Let me guess… we will be on some petty case about he said she said?

Guard: No, you are being assigned to the Trump trial. *he grabs both of them and drags them off as Majin keeps flapping his arms*

Ghaleon: Hey, Rebel, what happened to the money we got for turning Trump in?

Rebel: Well, it turns out that the mayor gave the money to a “representative” of the team.

Outlaw: Who?

PBX: ME!

Void: PBX, what did you do with 3 billion dollars?!

PBX: Well…

*Flashback to PBX on a computer*

PBX: Whoa! No way! A real toy copy of X’s buster? And only 3 billion dollars buy it now! I AM SO BUYING IT!! *clicks*

*End flashback*

Ghaleon: …Did you at least get the toy?

PBX: No, not yet! The guy said it is coming though! So Yay!

Ghaleon: Wasn’t that like 2 months ago?

PBX: Soooooooooooo?

Rebel: Soooooooooooo you’re stupid.

PBX: YAY!

Void: Not because this conversation isn’t full of intelligence and continuing it would be great, has anyone seen Deathtuna?

Outlaw: *looks around and doesn’t see him* Not here….

Void: Ghaleon, when you got these 2 idiots down…did you forget him?

Ghaleon: I… uh… CRAP!

Rebel: Well, if he hasn’t said anything, he must be asleep.

Outlaw: You guys here something? *scratches ear*

Rest: Nope, nuh-uh.

Outlaw: Must just be me.

*Back at the winnebago*

Deathtuna: SOOOOMEOOONE GEEEEET MEEEEEEE DOWWWWWN!

*Back inside the court house, Majin and Shadowstrike are seated with the rest of the jury*

Juror #1: Hey, did you hear? The X-Force is gonna be hear today!

Juror #2: No! You’re wrong! It’s Alpha Movement.

Shadowstrike: I thought the Code: Island Attackers were gonna be here…

The Whole Jury: Who are they?

Majin: Me heard gravy wit no z!

Juror #3: The hell? Are you drunk?

Shadowstrike: Just ignore him.

*The C:IA enter the court room and sit down*

Juror #4: Oh, that must be Trump’s legal team.

Juror #5: How do you figure?

Juror #4: They sat down on his side.

Shadowstrike: *slaps face in embarrassment*

Bailiff: Are you representing Mr.Trump?

PBX: Trump is evil!

Bailiff: So…are you representing him?

Rebel: Nope. We are the C:IA.

Bailiff: You are seated on the wrong side then.

Ghaleon: Are you sure?

Bailiff: EXCUSE ME?

Ghaleon: Are you sure we are on the wrong side?

Bailiff: Sir, if you ask me again, I will have to enact my right to initate code 549.

Ghaleon: What’s code 549?

Bailiff: Ok, that’s it! *presses a button*

Rebel: *aside to Void* What is code 549?

Void: *aside to Rebel* It says on Wikipedia that it involves 10 security guards, 15 night sticks, a lot pain and a lot of blood.

Ghaleon: YIPE! *is dragged outside the court room where sounds of a beating are heard*

*A man walks over to the C:IA*

John Jackson: Hello, my name is John Jackson, I represent the state. All I have to say is that we will win this case.

*Another man walks over*

Jack Johnson: Hello I am Jack Johnson, I represent Mr. Trump. All I have to say is that you can not win this case.

John Jackson: You!

Jack Johnson: You!

*The two stand staring at each other with hate. Five minutes later…*

Rebel: Okay… this is getting weird.

PBX: *standing on Jack* March! March my minion! To the cookie factory!

Void: Damnit PBX get down!

Outlaw: *poking John in the back* I don’t think it will matter, they are stuck.

Rebel: Well, then there is only one thing we can do. *grabs a marker and throws it to PBX* Go crazy.

*A few minutes later, the judge walks in*

Judge: *bangs gavel* QUIET! We have to finish this fast. Now, this case is Zero v. Colonel, right?

Bailiff: Actually, no. Zero was killed again, so we bumped it back a few hours.

Judge: Again? Who was it this time?

PBX: HI!

Judge: Shut up.

PBX: AHHHHHHHHH MEAN MAN! *starts to cry*

Judge: Oh… I’m sorry…

PBX: YAY!

Everyone else: *face palms*

*In the Jury Box*

Majin: BINGO!

Shadowstrike: That’s… right, alright… *writes something else* Try this one.

Majin: BINGO!

Shadowstrike: Majin, what game are we playing?

Majin: BINGO?

Judge: You two… shut up. Alright, we will now start the prece–*the judge is cut off by the sound of a can opening* What are you doing?

Rebel: Um….Coca-Cola? *points at can*

Judge: Did you think to bring enough for everyone?

Outlaw: Knowing him, he brought enough, but he ain’t giving any out.

Rebel: Damn straight.

Judge: *sighs*

PBX: *holding gavel* Hey, you okay Mr. Judgeman?

Judge: Yes I’m fine–GIVE. ME. BACK. MY. GAVEL!

PBX: Say please!

Judge: …Please?

PBX: Here ya go! *hands him an empty can of coke*

Judge: This isn’t my gavel.

PBX: Oops.

*A few moments later*

PBX: *glued to the chair* MY BUTT IS STUCK!

Rebel: *standing just outside PBX’s reach* You want the cookie? You want the cookie? REACH FOR IT BITCH!

Judge: MR. REBEL!

Rebel: *slowly turns around* Yes?

Judge: SIT DOWN… NOW OR I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO HAVE ANY MORE COCA-COLA!

Rebel: OBJECTION!

Judge: THE CASE HAS NOT EVEN STARTED YET!

Rebel: Oh. *sits down*

Judge: Good now we can start. *bangs gavel and it explodes* …

PBX and Rebel: Heheheheheheheh.

Void: We are never going to get out of here, are we?

Outlaw: I doubt it.

*Surprisingly, somehow, the next 20 minutes went by normally, and we find Void on the witness stand*

John Jackson: Now, Mr. Darkheart, of your opinion, should Mr. Trump go to jail?

Void: Yes.

John Jackson: And why is that?

Jack Johnson: Objection your honor! This pertains in no way to the case.

Judge: Sustained. Any other questions Mr. Jackson?

John Jackson: None your honor.

Judge: And you Mr. Johnson?

Jack Johnson: That I do your honor. Now, Mr. Darkheart, is it true you once worked for my client?

Void: I never worked for him.

Jack Johnson: Then, why is your name on this employee sheet? *holds it up for all to see, then hands it to Void* Confirm that the name highlighted is your name.

Void: That name is Vince DeChabert.

Jack Johnson: No it doesn’t.

Judge: *looking at the paper* Yes it does.

Jack Johnson: Oh. *looks back at Trump who nods his head* Well, he is responsible for the destruction of many of my client’s creations.

John Jackson: Objection your honor! That was only in the face of being killed by the machines. That should be said for all of them.

Judge: Sustained. *bangs gavel* Return to your seat. The next witness?

John Jackson: I call ProtoBassX to the stand.

*A moment and there is no movement*

Rebel: Where did PBX go?

Outlaw: *quietly* Shh… look in the corner.

*PBX was on the ceiling in the corner, he then jumped and made a mad lunge for the gavel, he landed short, and was then hit by the judge with it.

Judge: Go to that seat there, and stay.

John Jackson: Now, PBX, do you remember the time that Mr. Trump kidnapped you?

PBX: Yeah! I remember that. He kidnapped me.

John Jackson: And do you remember when you had to do community service for him?

PBX: HE LOCKED ME IN A CAGE! With… with–

John Jackson: With what?

PBX: No cookies!

John Jackson: No cookies your honor. No cookies.

Jury: GASP!

Majin: BARK

*A few moments later*

Jack Johnson: Now, Mr. Outlaw, Can you think of one instance in which the actions of my client directly or indirectly affected you?

Outlaw: Are you serious?

Jack Johnson: Yes.

Outlaw: Alright… well there was that time…

*20 minutes later*

Outlaw: And that is all I can think of.

Jack Johnson: How exactly did him funding the research into the removal of sewers affect you?

Outlaw: That is where I do my shopping.

Jack Johnson: In the sewer?

Outlaw: Yes. Why?

Jack Johnson: Oh god… no further questions.

*Later*

Jack Johnson: Now, Mr. Rebel, reports here say that you have numerous trespassings on Pepsi factories. Is this because they are owned by my client?

Rebel: … *points at Trump* EVEEL!! EVEEL I SAY!! REPENT FOR YOUR SINS OR ALL SHALL BE LOST!! *splashes Coke on Trump*

Judge: *smashes gavel and it turns into a flower* Damnit be quiet!

John: Mr. Rebel, calm down. Now, tell me. It also says on this thing you signed, this affadavit, that Mr. Trump has hired thugs to attack you, how can you proove that?

Rebel: Oh, that’s easy. *pulls out a birdcage containing the Oreo Bros.* Look! It’s a pair of oreos! *holds a Magnet Mine up to their faces* WHO’S YER DADDY HUH?! WHO IS HE?!

Loreo: *crying* HE IS!! *points at Trump*

Oreo: *crying* HE MADE US ATTACK THE ISLAND ATTACKERS!!

*Rebel shoves the mine in the cage and throws it into the back of the room, followed with an explosion.*

Rebel: I rest my case!

Judge: O…kay, I’d let Trump testify, but, well, I’m tired of this case. So, jury, do you need time to think this over?

Juror #15: No. We voted 4 hours ago when the trial started. The tally is 15 yes, 7 no… and… um, 1 “inflatable bellies”.

Majin: yez, teh bellies

*All of sudden, a flurry of motion happens in the corner*

Trump: Okay I didn’t want to have to do this, but I am not going to jail. Now, if I don’t go free, he gets it. *has a gun pointed at Jack Johnson’s head*

Jack Johnson: Sir! Please don’t kill me!

Trump: Only If I have to.

*The C:IA go to move*

Trump: Ah, I wouldn’t move. Do you want his life on your conscience?

Rebel: Trump, you heartless bastard, fight us like a man.

Trump: Why, when this is so much better? *sees Rebel summon a mine* Stop. Or he dies, and don’t think I don’t see you two idiots in the corner.

Outlaw: What can we do?

Void: I don’t know…

Shadowstrike: Rebel?

Rebel: Just stay there, for now.

Trump: You’ll be staying there unti–*he is smashed in the head by PBX with the gavel*

Rebel: Hey, PBX, hit him again!

Void: That was rather anti-climactic.

Jack Johnson: You… saved my life?

Rebel: I guess we did. Now, I believe some coins were mentioned?

Judge: Yes, that’s right. *tosses Rebel a small bag*

Outlaw: That does not look like 10,000,000 coins.

Judge: 10,000,000? The letter said 10.000,000.

Majin: zomg 2 meny ZELLOOOOOOOOOO

Judge: What?

Shadowstrike: What he said, I think, was “Why so many zeroes?”

Judge: If you don’t want the coins, then give them back!

Rebel: Okay. *whips the bag at the judge’s head* RUN AWAY!

Judge: Ack! Bailiff! Arrest them… okay, you’re glued to wall. Looks like they go free for now, I mean they have already done so much. *goes to stand up* WHERE ARE MY PANTS!?

*Meanwhile, in the C:IAFAV*

Ghaleon: *in a full body cast* Ow…

Rebel: Oh, be quiet you baby. Now, how much money did his wallet have?

PBX: *wearing pants on head* 42,000 bucks!

Shadowstrike: Whoa! He was loaded!

Outlaw: Wow….that is….alot.

Void: With that much money, I can finish my secret project.

Rebel: I’m treating us ALL to dinner!

PBX: YAY YAY YAY! COOKIES FOR DINNER!

Deathtuna: McDonalds?

Majin: KING KING THE KING

*A few moments later*

Rebel: Yes, a burger with a Coca-Cola.

Drive-Thru Speaker: Sorry sir, but you are in luck! Instead of nasty old Coca-Cola, we have the FAR better Pepsi.

Rebel: *twitches*

Void: Everyone… RUN!

Rebel: GRARGH NO IT ISN’T!

The End

Shadowstrike: Wait…that’s the end?

Outlaw: Guess it is.

Shadowstrike: That ending sucked! It wasn’t even funny.

PBX: You wrote it.

Shadowstrike: Oh…

The End

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