Dissed in the Digital World (Part 2)

*Written by Jade*

*Back with the Code: Island Attackers…*

Rebel: Okay, so go over that once more Void?

Void: *Sigh* These eggs are called Digi Eggs, and they will soon hatch into creatures known as Digimon. I bought them so we could each have a partner.

Shadowstrike: But there are eight eggs and only six of us.

Metabad: HEY ALL WHAT’S UP HOW’S IT GOING??

*Everyone pauses to look at Metabad.*

Void: …Who the heck are you?

Metabad: Metabad.

Sean: And that is…?

Metabad: Uh, me?

Void: *Turns to Rebel* You’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do.

Majin: yoooooooooooou goooooooooot meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee gooooooooooooooooiiiiiiiin noooooooooooooooooow

Rebel: Where did he find beer?

Outlaw: I dunno.

Void: Don’t change the subject!

Rebel: Oh, right. Well, if you must know, it started like this…

*Flashback*

*In some random, unimportant town…*

Rebel: Man, I’ve gotta find some replacements so the team can get back into the groove ASAP. But who the heck am I gonna find crazy enough to actually take the position?

Metabad: HEY THERE DO YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND HUH DO YA HUH DO YA HUH DO YA HUH DO YA HUH DO YA HUH DO YA HUH?

Rebel: I’ll answer your question with a question of my own: Are you a bad enough dude to be my friend?

Metabad: I’m bad enough to rawk, wanna see?

Rebel: Shoot.

Metabad: *Rawks*

Rebel: Welcome to the team.

*End flashback*

Rebel: And that is the sad story of filope magee.

Outlaw: That silly filope magee and his crazy antics.

Majin: FLYING PIZZA MONKEYS

Void: Aaaaanyway, we’ve got these eggs. So guys pick which ones you want and the last one I’ll probably use for breakfast or something.

*So the seven members pick an egg and hold them*

Metabad: Heehee this is so awesome.

Shadowstrike: How so?

Metabad: ‘Cuz it’s like… we rawk or something.

Rebel: Heck yeah it does.

*The two proceed to rawk. Everyone just ignores them.*

*Elsewhere…*

Papa Smurf: You want the emerald that we found?

Eggman: *looking down* That’s right. Give it to us and there will be no trouble.

Brainy Smurf: I don’t think we should trust ’em, Papa Smurf.

iX: Shut up and just give us the damn emerald! *points his buster at the Smurfs*

Hefty Smurf: So it’s a fight you want eh?! I’ll show you! *charges*

iX: *Blasts Hefty*

Papa Smurf: *Scared* Jokey, go get the emerald.

Jokey Smurf: Right away! *leaves and comes back pushing a giant box* Here it is!

Eggman: Let me see it. *takes the box and opens it for it to explode in his face*

Jokey Smurf: *Bursts out laughing*

iX: *Blasts Jokey and starts laughing himself*

Smurfs: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *starts panicking*

*iX starts shooting every Smurf until all that is left is Papa Smurf*

Papa Smurf: You killed all of my children!

iX: Yeah, yeah, whatever you freaking pedophile. Now where’s that emerald?

Papa Smurf: *Shows them where the real emerald is*

Eggman: Excellent. This makes number two.

Papa Smurf: Um, excuse me… but what are you going to do about all of this mess?!

Lilithmon: Well, I suppose it would only be fitting to reward you with your cooperation. What do you boys think?

*Everyone starts to smile wickedly*

Papa Smurf: H-huh? What are you going to–NO PUT ME DOWN!!

*A few minutes later*

Gargamel: So you are just going to give me Papa Smurf?

Papa Smurf: No!

Trump: Yes, here you go. *hands him over*

Gargamel: *Dancing* I’ve done it! I’ve done it! I finally got a Smurf! The last Smurf in existance no less! Now I can finally make some money–or do I want to eat it? Hmm…

Trump: Oh yes, Gargamel… You’re fired.

Gargamel: What?! NO!! *throws Papa Smurf off a cliff* I hate those Smurfs! *leaves*

iX: Well that was strangely satisfying.

Barbamon: Yes, and now we have obtained yet another Chaos Emerald–only five more to find before we can move on to phase two.

Eggman: But I wonder where the next one is…

Leviamon: We must keep searching and traveling through the dimensions until we find them all. Until then there is no time for complaining.

*Back with the CIA*

Rebel: *staring at a Dorimon* So do these things actually get bigger or what?

Void: Over time, yeah.

Rebel: Well this is boring as hell waiting for it to evolve.

Shadowstrike: Yours has taken the longest to reach rookie form. Mine reached Veemon yesterday.

Sean: Mine also managed to reach Agumon, although I think it carries the X-Antibody, making it Agumon X.

Rebel: What’s your point?!

Monodramon: He’s saying that you suck and don’t deserve a Digimon.

Rebel: Metabad get this piece of crap out of my face.

Metabad: EEEEEEEEEEHHHHH OKAY!! *carries Monodramon off*

Void: Personally I find this to be a very enjoyable experience, having a Renamon of all the luck.

Metabad: C’mon Rebel you know that these Digimon rawk. I mean you might get a really awesome one that is like “OMGWTFBBQ THATS SECKSAY” ya?

Rebel: Eh, maybe you’re right. But you do know what this means don’t you?

Metabad: Wha?

Rebel: That we’ll need to teach these Digimon how to rawk.

Metabad: Heck yeah. LET’S DO IT MONODRAMON!!! *rawks*

Monodramon: *Looks at him with confusion* Is this guy retarded?

Sean: Probably.

Patamon: Well, it could always be worse… you could have a partner like this guy. *points at Majin*

Majin: I SAW YOU AT TEH CLUB LASSHT NIGHT AND I SAY NO *burps*

Sean: *Gets shocked* I need to fix that curse.

*Suddenly the entire ship is rocked by an unknown force*

Rebel: *Hits the floor* What was that?

Shadowstrike: Air turbulence?

Void: I doubt it. It seemed like we hit something. We outta check it out.

Renamon: Shall I assist?

Void: If you want, sure.

*Most of the members leave save Rebel, Dorimon, Metabad, Monodramon, Majin, and Patamon.*

Rebel: So… I heard you like Mudkips.

Metabad: DO I?!

Cyros: *shows up* Okay, that’s it. I don’t want to hear this EVER AGAIN NEXT TIME. Got that?! *leaves*

Dorimon: Could you even call these guys chosen?

Monodramon: Yeah freaking right. Calling these guys chosen is like telling a Piedmon he’s the best guy in the world.

Patamon: I like pie.

Metabad: WHAT A COINCIDENCE ME TOO!!

Majin: *Hits Metabad with a pie to the face* NARF

*With the rest of the members*

Void: *Checking the ships status* According to the diagram of the chips structure, there is some strange abnormalties happening in the back, located in Storage Room D.

Sean: What kind of abnormalties?

Void: Says something like a distortion in time and space.

Outlaw: Doesn’t that sound awfully familiar*?

*See Series 1, Epilogue #5 “Destroying the Space Time Continuum (part 2)”

Void: Regardless, we need to check it out.

Agumon X: Let’s go, Sean! *runs out the room*

Sean: Hey, wait up! Man, I’ve been stuck on that island too long for this. *chases after*

*Everyone else follows Agumon X and Sean to Storage Room D, where they look through the masses of crates and containers.*

Renamon: Nothing seems suspicious.

Void: Yeah, that’s how it always seems. Then the next thing you know four are dead and you are hungry.

Outlaw: Gotta love those warm fuzzy feelings.

Shadowstrike: Hey, uh, guys? Veemon said he just found something interesting, and uh… *points*

*The rest all peer out to see that a Digimon walking out of a portal in the corner of the room. It is a large, black Digimon that has four red eyes and a pair of black wings, a tail, and long arms with sharp claws.*

Void: A Devidramon? Okay, who in the world tried to hax us?

*At Alpha Movement*

Sigma: So those rogue ex-Mavericks have collected Digimon as well, eh? Interesting. Well then I suppose they won’t mind my little gift.

Jade: What are you doing, Sigma?

Sigma: Ah, Octopus, you’re here. Gather the rest of the Alpha Movement and bring them here–it seems as though we’ve got a little competition!

Jade: Right away!

*Back with the CIA*

Outlaw: What should we do?

Veemon: Take him of course!

Sean: Now listen, we can’t be destroying this place from a pointless fight. We just got it. Let’s go over there and see if we can discuss things peacefully, all right?

Void: Right. Good luck Shadow.

Shadowstrike: Why should I do it?

Void: Well your Digimon was the one that found him, wasn’t it?

Shadowstrike: *Grumbles and walks over there with Veemon* Hey uh, excuse me?

Devidramon: …

Shadowstrike: Yeah, could you please be good and leave for us? We don’t want to cause any trouble.

Devidramon: …

Shadowstrike: Cool? Cool. Well I’ll be going then. *turns to leave*

Devidramon: …CRIMSON CLAW!! *slashes Shadowstrike*

Veemon: Watch out!! *takes the hit*

Shadowstrike: Huh?

Void: Way to go Shadowstrike, now he’s hostile.

Shadowstrike: Shut up and let’s take this thing down!

Rebel: Right. Island Attackers, ATTACK–

Renamon: Wait! Let us handle this.

Void: Are you sure?

Betamon: We should be protecting you guys–not the other way around!

Outlaw: Well if you insist… Should we just grab a couple of sodas and a tub of popcorn or something while we watch you guys duke it out?

Agumon X: Sure, why not?

Shadowstrike: Freaking sweet.

Devidramon: Dark Gale!! *fires beams from his eyes*

Renamon: Diamond Storm! *cancels the attacks*

Veemon: Vee-Headbutt!!

Devidramon: *Knocks Veemon out of the way*

Agumon X: Pepper Breath! *spits a fireball*

Devidramon: RAAAAAGHH!! *lets the attack hit him as he tackles into Agumon-X*

Agumon X: Ahhh!!

*The fight lasts like this for a while. By then the rest of the members had come in and let their Digimon fight*

Sean: Do you think anyone is actually winning?

Outlaw: I dunno they seem to be going back and forth. On the plus side if our Digimon win I am so totally gonna have a feast on that Devidramon.

*The rest of the members gag in disgust*

Rebel: Come on Dorimon!! Digivolve and beat the daylights outta that guy! YOU CAN DO IT!!

Metabad: Monodramon help him Digivolve! COMBINE YOUR DNA AND BECOME SUPER DOOPERMON!!

Monodramon: Are you stupid or something?! *gets pounded*

Metabad: BOY DID YOU JUST CALL MY MOMMA FAT? >:O

Dorimon: I’m just a baby, I can’t handle this kinda stress. *cries and gets kicked*

Void: This is ridiculous. One of our Digimon needs to Digivolve to a Champion level and just end this stupid fight.

Outlaw: How will that help?

Void: Please… everyone knows that in Digimon whenever the main Digimon manage to Digivolve the fight is practically over.

Patamon: Wait!! I feel it… I’m gonna Digivolve!

Majin: ZOMG NO WAI

Patamon: Yes… It’s coming…

Majin: !!!!!!!!!!

Devidramon: Black Bite! *bites Patamon turning it back into a Digi Egg*

Majin: WTF UR KIDDING ME

Rebel: All right. It looks like there has been a serious lack of motivation for these Digimon. We’re gonna provide it. Ready Metabad?

Metabad: AWWWWW YEAH!! *rawks*

Rebel: *rawks*

Monodramon: Oh, what the hell. *rawks as well and ends up Digivolving to Strikedramon*

Metabad: HECK YEAH!!

Strikedramon: All right, now who’s ready for a pounding?! STRIKE CLAW!!

*Strikedramon covers himself completely in flames as he rams into Devidramon, who releases a horrifying scream.*

Void: All right! C’mon, guys! If he can Digivolve so can the rest of you!

Betamon: He’s right!

Renamon: Let’s go.

*The rest of the Digimon, with the power of LOVE and FRIENDSHIP begin to Digivolve into their Champion forms, minus Dorimon and Patamon.*

Greymon X: Nova Blast!!

Seadramon: Ice Blast!!

Flamedramon: Fire Rocket!!

Kyuubimon: Dragon Wheel!!

*The combined attacks continually pound Devidramon until his body starts to fall apart, turning into data which is scattered and disappears.*

Greymon X: We did it!

Sean: Thank God that’s over with.

Shadowstrike: I’ll say, but man you kick some serious butt Flamedramon.

Flamedramon: Don’t I know it!

Metabad: STRIKEDRAMON MAN YOU RAWK LIKE TWICE NO THREE TIMES AS MUCH NOW!! *rawks*

Strikedramon: Get away from me.

Metabad: D:

Void: Well, I suppose you could have considered this a good chance to see what our Digimon were made of.

Rebel: Speak for yourself. Dorimon didn’t get any action… heck he still hasn’t reached Rookie form!

Dorumon: You called?

Rebel: Yeah Dorumon, we were just saying how you have yet to reach Rookie–wait. How did you transform?

Dorumon: A wizard did it?

Rebel: Makes absolute sense here.

Outlaw: I won’t question it.

Seadramon: Me neither.

Void: You guys… *sees something* What’s that?

Kyuubimon: It looks like a gem of some sort.

Void: *Picks it up* Hey, this is a Chaos Emerald! Well of all the chances.

Shadowstrike: Why would there be a Chaos Emerald here?

Void: It must have appeared when Devidramon entered through that portal.

Rebel: Awesome, now we can sell it for some cash.

Metabad: W00T!

*While the team members are discussing amongst themselves, they fail to see the four red eyes glowing in the darkness, watching them.*

Seadramon: Do you ever get the feeling that you are being watched, Outlaw?

Outlaw: All the time, especially when I’m in those sewers. Funny thing about that–one time I was swimming and I bit some giant ape and man oh man I couldn’t even see straight for three days after that. To this day I think that ape is watching me.

Seadramon: That’s not really what I meant…

Kyuubimon: …Something is there!

Devidramon: RAAAAAAAAAAGH!!

Everyone else: AHH!!

*Devidramon leaps forward, claws extended, preparing to kill everyone as they are caught off guard by the unexpected assault. Before it can get the chance, however, multiple pink beams of energy tear right through the Digimon, causing it scream in pain as it vanishes without a trace.*

Rebel: That thing survived?!

Void: Actually, it looked like there was a second one hiding. But I wonder who…?

*Before he can even ask a female Digimon and a lone man appear.*

Dark Knight: Looks like we made it just in time. Good work Lilamon!

Lilamon: You are very welcome.

Outlaw: Who’re you guys?

DK: The name’s Dark Knight, but you can just call me DK. This is my partner, Lilamon.

Lilamon: The pleasure is mine.

DK: I hope you don’t mind but I took your last Digi Egg in order to get her.

Void: Wait… that’s an Ultimate Level Digimon though. How did you manage to reach that level in such a short amount of time?

DK: The answer is that I have a love for Lily-chan!! But since I got a Lalamon I decided to convert that love for a Lila-chan! And with my PASSION and GUSTO I was capable of transcending it beyond normal means. Besides I just saved your hides thanks to it so why in the world are you complaining?

Kyuubimon: He speaks the truth.

Shadowstrike: So what do you want with us?

DK: Well other than obtaining Lila-chan nothing. But since you all seem to be missing a member I am tempted to offer my service to you.

Shadowstrike: Thanks, but I think we’ll–

Rebel: Welcome to the team!

Everyone else: Huh?

Rebel: Look, we don’t have time to be picky about who the heck joins. If that was the case I should have been shot for even thinking about letting Metabad join.

Metabad: YEAH!!

Dorumon: Then I guess we should welcome you to the team!

Majin: WHY

Majin: YOU

Majin: LEAVE

Majin: ME

Majin: PATPAT

Seadramon: Don’t worry, like all good Digimon he’ll be sure to come back by the time the next part rolls in.

Majin: kk

To be continued…

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