Bride of Frankenploid

*Written by Void Darkheart*

*One evening, in a bar where everyone knows your name and wants your head for the price that’s on it (known as Head Chop for those that are truly curious), Morph Moth of the team Code: Island Attackers is currently sharing a table with everyone’s favorite Boba Fett cosplayer, Vile.*

Void: Okay Vile, I know we had our… disagreements in the past…

Vile: If you call me wanting to crush your skull into a fine dust and then use your wings as my new means of flight a disagreement…

Void: *coughing a bit* Yes, well… given what happened in the past, I’m not too surprised you’re still wanting me dead.

Vile: You tried to turn me into a toaster-slash-toilet!

Void: How was I supposed to know that those were your parts? It was all junk!

Vile: It was in a crate labeled “Vile’s Parts! Do Not Touch!” in fifteen different languages.

Void: All of which was painted over in a disgusting shade of green…

Vile: Just get on with it Moth!

Void: Well fine. Simply put… you know my skills, especially pertaining to junk and spare parts. Well I just want you to give me some of AM’s spare parts, a bit of funding, and I’ll design you a warrior the likes of which you have never seen before!

Vile: You’re saying you can turn spare parts from those worthless half wits into a single competent warrior?

Void: I guarantee you will not be disappointed Vile. You know what they say. You don’t want to get on the bad side of B… Vile.

Vile: Very well then. I expect results within a month. Otherwise…

*Vile then left a pile of money on the table, quickly getting up and leaving.*

Void: No problem Vile… and with this cash, the team shouldn’t have any problems meeting any of the bills for the next month.

*Two Months Later, In Morph’s Lab*

Void: *working away some at his computer* A few adjustments here… three more firewalls here… And done! With that, I now have a program that can be used in… um…

*Morph turns around and faces a large object underneath a tarp*

Void: I can’t really call you Frankenploid MkII… that would be a bit too obvious, and the original Frankenploid would want to kill me all that more…

Rebel: How about Francine?

Void: That’s perfect! It even fits in with the fact that it will act like a female!

*Morph quickly starts to put in the name into the program before stopping and looking over at Magna*

Void: Pray tell how you got in here?

Rebel: You left the door open. Care to explain what you’re doing making another Frankenploid?

Void: *shrugged a bit, taking the program disk out and heading over to the tarp* Making some quick cash off of Vile, mainly. This thing is like, ten times worse than Frank is, and I mean that she’d be a push over if we ever had to fight.

Rebel: *nods a bit* So you’re conning money out of one of the many people who would want us dead?

Void: It wouldn’t be the first time. I’ve conned Serges out of more money than he could ever dream of having. Why just last week I managed to pin the Internet’s crash and subsequent five day downtime on him. He’ll be broke for EONS!

*A few minutes later, after a sufficient period of laughter, and in the Whale King’s Repair Bay…*

Dark Knight: So is there a reason why you called us all together?

Outlaw: *dressed up in an armor of what appears to be toilets and a very foul stench* Oh, Void always does this when he’s about to unveil his latest invention.

Shadowstrike: Last time he did this, we all switched bodies*…

*See Series 2, Epilogue #16 “Opposite Day”

Sean: And given he made Frankenploid, that sort of makes his track record 0-2 right now…

Void: Hey! What about that automatic cookie maker I debuted prior to our base being destroyed?

Rebel: Just get on with the unveiling of this monstrosity, Void!

*Sighing, Void went and pulled a large cloth off of the object next to him.*


Francine: *Belch* When is dinner?

Dark Knight: What kind of monstrosity is this?

*Francine growled, and quickly rushed over to unleash a fury of punches on the crab.*

Rebel: Damn it… Island Attackers, attack!

*In a flash, the entire team unleashed all of their attacks on Francine and DK. Fortunately for DK, he survived and was missed by Outlaw’s attacks. Francine, on the other hand, was a charred, scorched, cut up husk laying on the ground*

Francine: W-what… what diddddd I dddddo?

Rebel: Void, explain, now!

Void: Simple. Francine here is just a pile of junk. Even Majin could beat her when his blood is nothing more than alcohol.

Shadowstrike: So you didn’t make a weapon of mass destruction?

Void: Nope. Besides, with Frank, Anti-Majin, and that other yahoo with them, the last thing we need is me creating another unstoppable creation.

Metabad: So when can we get to RAWKING?

Sean: And why did you make her?

Void: Rock away if you wish, Meta, and as for her creation… we needed money for bills and repairs, so she’s being sold to Vile as his newest, and strongest, soldier.

*Meta goes off to rawk while the rest of the team process Void’s words.*

Void: For now, she’ll be fine and we’ll just test her out for a bit. You know, make sure she doesn’t try to destroy us and all.

*The next morning…*

Outlaw: Rebel, Francine’s hogging the TV…

Rebel: Do I look like I’m your babysitter? Just punch her in the face and be done with it.

Outlaw: But… but she’s a girl… I think…

Void: Outlaw, Francine is a walking pile of junk. If there is anything female in that thing, then its almost pure coincidence.

Outlaw: Oh? Alright then. *wanders off*

Sean: Are you sure that she’s okay? She is made out of discarded parts…

Void: Sean, I can make her out of quality parts, but why bother? This is just to fleece Vile out of money, remember?

Sean: Its not that… I meant mentally. All those parts have to be at conflict with each other.

Void: Its not a problem. Now for the last time don’t…

Shadowstrike: *walks into the area* Say, guys… why is there a large hole in the side of the ship?

Rebel: Better question, how did a large hole get into the side of the ship with out us knowing about it?

Void: Stealth explosives?

Sean: Aren’t explosives supposed to be loud though?

Void: No, you see, I’ve been working on…

Rebel: So you’re saying someone in our ship busted a hole out of it?

Void: Maybe… but who?

Outlaw: *walking back to the rather enlarging group* Hey! Francine’s gone now.

*Morph’s eyes went wide, or as wide as they could, when he heard Gator’s words.*

Void: Guys! We need to find her! NOW!

Rebel: What did you do this time Void?

Void: Well… in about… an hour at best, she’ll explode due to not being on the ship as she’s supposed to be.

Shadowstrike: And we’re worried about her exploding… why?

Void: Because if we don’t stop her, not only will we get blamed for whoever she harms and/or kill, Vile will come hunting us for our heads.

Sean: Don’t you mean your head?

Void: You think such a thing would keep Vile from taking everyone’s head?

Rebel: He’s right. Come on, we’ve got to go clean up his mess now.

*In the nearest city…*

Francine: I’m nothing more than a worthless pile of junk to them, am I? I’ll show them! I’ll be the best thing this town has ever seen!

*With a roar, she went to throw a punch, one that seemed to be heading straight for the big, red, massive form of the X-Hunter Violen. A punch that hit and, after a moment, caused Francine to cry out in pain*

Violen: *looks over and at Francine* Hm? What was that? A gust of wind? Please tell me that wasn’t your best…

Francine: Yes… it was actually…

Violen: Pathetic! That was worse than what me and the rest of the X-Hunters–

Francine: X-Hunters? You’ve got to help me get revenge on the Island Attackers!

Violen: *blinks some, looking at the junk pile* Wha? What do you mean? Well, I guess I could introduce you to the others… we’re already about as far down in the pecking order as you can get…

*A few minutes later, in a dumpster behind a dumpster at the back of a warehouse of dumpsters…*

Serges: Violen… what is this junk pile doing in our base?

Violen: The lady wants us to help her get revenge on the Island Attackers.

Agile: It’s a lady now, and what makes you think we can even do that? For that matter, why do you seem rather… intelligent lately?

Serges: Ah, now that’s a good question. You see, my guess is, with out that insipid show to watch every day…

Violen: HEY! ‘I Love Lucy’ is not an insipid show!

Serges: *stares at Violen for a bit* As I was saying… with out watching it every day, it was bound to happen that he would, eventually, regain some intelligence.

Agile: So we just need a TV that plays a show twenty-four hours, seven days a week.

Francine: Or you three can help me destroy the Island Attackers…

Serges: What are you still doing here you junk pile?

Francine: I’m not a junk pile…

Agile: You are too and now get out of our secret base!

Francine: But this is just a dumpster…

Rebel: Which is an appropriate place for trash such as the X-Hunters.

*Magna’s sudden appearance and words caused the X-Hunters to jump back in surprise and shock while Francine calmly turned around to face him.*

Francine: Hey! Get out of our secret base!

Serges: She’s not really with us… you can take her away. We weren’t planning on doing anything evil… today at least.

Void: Oh, we’re not here for you three, as much as I’d enjoy making your life even more miserable Serges…

Metabad: But we’re going to rawk out of here with our gal there!

Rebel: Sean, if you will…

*Nodding, Sean quickly activated his time slow, slowing Francine and the X-Hunters down, leaving the rest of the Island Attackers ample time to grab the Female Frankenploid and teleport themselves back to the base.*

Violen: Well, that was anti-climatic.

Serges: Stop using big words. The universe might implode.

*Later that same week, after Morph had finished the tests on Francine…*

Void: Well, I have to say, it seems like everything is going to be fine now. We get to ship you off now girl.

Francine: You mean you all don’t want me?

Rebel: No, its more we want to stay in one piece in case Morph there does something stupid again.

Void: You wound me Magna…

Sean: Either way, its not that we don’t want you, Francine, but just that matters prior to your awakening state that we have to give you up.

Francine: You know… if you are just jealous of my power, you could say so.

Metabad: You can’t rawk as hard as I or Rebel!

*Before Francine could reply, Morph quickly hit a button, teleporting her out of the base*

Void: And that’s that. I do hope that Blackbelt and the rest of AM have prepared by now.

Rebel: Wait… she is still primed to go off?

Void: No. She’ll just fall to pieces. I took the bomb out when I realized how difficult it would be to explain such a thing.

Dark Knight: Why haven’t we replaced the Moth by now?

Rebel: Because we’re all just as crazy and insane as he is?

*Morph chuckled a bit as he flew off to the lab*

Void: Anyway… that’s the last of that… no more Frankenploids, ever.

*Meanwhile, just outside the Alpha Movement base, or a reasonable facsimile of it…*

Vile: Finally! A warrior with which to make me proud!

Francine: Hm? You mean you know I’m powerful?

Vile: Of course! That moth fears me too much to…

*It was at this point that Francine began to shudder violently, causing Vile to back up some. A few seconds later and Francine quickly fell apart into a pile of junk.*

Vile: That… moth will pay for this…

The End


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