Sewer Freaks

*Written by Outlaw88 and Dark Knight*

*Just a common morning at the Code: Island Attackers’ Whale King…*

Sean: A common morning?

Rebel and Metabad: *rawking*

Shadowstrike: Yep, a common morning.

*Anyways, at the kitchen…*

Outlaw: Put some sewage water!

Dark Knight: And don’t forget Edam cheese! Life is better with cheese!

Outlaw: This mutant rat seems tasty…*puts it in the pot* Aah, the guys will love this!

Dark Knight: Mmm… I think Nutella will work?

Outlaw: I dunno. But look at this! *puts a four-headed radioactive fish*

Dark Knight: Wow. The best about this is that the rest of them don’t know about…

Rebel: What the… ? Hey don’t put the cheese and Nutella there!!!! AND DON’T COOK OUTLAW!!!!

Outlaw: But…

Dark Knight: But…

*The Whale King lands. Outlaw and Dark Knight are thrown out of it.*

Dark Knight: Let me at him! Let me at him!!!!

Outlaw: Calm down, DK. It isn’t that bad. Perhaps we can go to have some sewer hunting!

Dark Knight: Freakin’ sweet!

*A moment later, at the sewer system of some random city…*

Outlaw: Aaah, the glorious smell! Do you feel it?

*They swim through the horribly dirty courses of rotten sewage water, until…*

Dark Knight: Am I supposed to be glowing like this?

Outlaw: You’ll be fine. Since we are both made for all kinds of water conditions you won’t feel any negative effects.

Dark Knight: Oh good…. Negative effects from what exactly? I’ve never sewer hunted before.

Outlaw: Truth be told no one has ever come with me ‘cept Void, and that was only to map the city system we were living by at the time, and he flew over the surface so that doesn’t really count.

Dark Knight: But what are…

Outlaw: Right right, so yeah everything and anything can be found here. I’ve earned some extra cash in reporting the serious stuff. Like toxic waste by human areas, overpopulation of mutant bugs, moldy pokemon cards, that sort of thing.

Dark Knight: Wow. So what are we looking for? I’m kinda hoping to find more mutant things! That fish you had was awesome!

*So the two C:IA members swim on for a while, taking in the strange sights and smells they encounter. Suddenly DK spots something…*

Dark Knight: Holy crap, look at the size of that mushroom!

Outlaw: Badger badger badger… *Shakes head* Whooo sorry. Too much Weebl for me.

*They go over to the giant mushroom*

Dark Knight: It’s all glowy and everything! Lets take it back and put it on a pizza.

Outlaw: Sounds good to me.

Giant Mushroom: I beg your pardon but I’d rather stay here.

*DK and Outlaw jaw drop*

Dark Knight: OMFGWTFBBQ!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!111oneoneone!!!1

Giant Mushroom: Pardon?

Dark Knight: You’re talking! o_0

Giant Mushroom: Well, of course.

Dark Knight: How many licks-

Giant Mushroom: Oh, please, not again! This is the hundredth time people ask me that today!

Outlaw: *still jaw dropped*

Dark Knight: Ohoho, I know! Grant me a wish. I want an Imperial Walker and a date with-

Giant Mushroom: And it’s the thousandth time they ask me for a wish. You little crab thing are pretty irritating. So I’ll eat your brain! *roars*

Dark Knight: Bwaaaaaaaaaaaah! *runs away, fear in his eyes*

Outlaw: *still jaw dropped*

Giant Mushroom: And the reptilian friend as well! *roars again*

Outlaw: Aaaaaaah! *runs away*

*A moment later, inside an oversized trashcan…*

Dark Knight: *eyes widened* Did that thing follow us?

Outlaw: *shaking head* I don’t know, I don’t know!

*The sound of multiple steps is heard*

Outlaw: Quiet! I heard something…

Dark Knight: !!!

Outlaw: I’ll take a look. *looks over the trashcan* Oh, holy hell, it’s that thing again!

Dark Knight: But why am I hearing so many steps?

Outlaw: Let’s see…

*Three voices are heard inside the oversized mushroom*

??? #1: Hehehehe. We managed to scare them!

??? #2: Yes!!! Let’s celebrate this as a victory for the… watch out, Violen, you dumbass!

*The enormous mushroom trips with a tuna can which managed to be there, and falls*

Serges: *crawling out* Oh, great! We spent our last zenny on buying this cheap costume, and look how it is now, Violen!

Agile: Bad boy, bad! *hits Violen with a leather belt*

Violen: *crying* I’m sorry, please, I won’t do it again!

*Inside the trashcan…*

Dark Knight: Who are those guys? They look kinda familiar… Some kind of retarded sewer monstrosities?

Outlaw: No, no. They’re the X-Hunters, not our worst, but surely most recurrent enemies.

Dark Knight: Oh, right… them.

Outlaw: *Thinking* Odd… I thought they were–

Dark Knight: How about jumping out of here and see them screaming like girls?

Outlaw: Sounds good to me.

*DK and Outlaw leap out of the trashcan and land directly in front of the X-Hunters*

X-Hunters: *scream like little girls*

Outlaw and Dark Knight: *burst out laughing*

Agile: How did you find us???

Serges: You guys can take a little prank, right?

Violen: *crying* But please don’t hurt us!

Dark Knight: That’s precisely what I was going to do! *cracks knuckles*

Outlaw: No, wait DK! *stops him* We’re not going to hurt you! It’s almost nice to see you again. But tell me, weren’t you dead?

Serges: It seemed so. However, some random entity called Randomness managed to randomly revive us. Right, Chewbacca?

Chewbacca: Roaarrr! (Translation: Yeah.)

Dark Knight: Is that the gorrilla you keep talking about?

Outlaw: No, but this is just as weird.

*Suddenly the sewer, Chewbacca, and the X-Hunters vanish leaving our heroes in total darkness*

Outlaw: What the hell? Where is everybody, and everything?

Dark Knight: EEEeeeEEEeeEeEEK!

???: Welcome! Why not stay and enjoy for a while? My toenail is like warm milk!

Dark Knight: Who is that?

???: It’s-a me! Randomness here to poke things!

*Suddenly the area fills with spoons*

Randomness: With spooooooooooooooooooooooons!!!!

Outlaw: *Up to his shoulders in spoons* What do you want with us?

Dark Knight: *Completly buried* And where are the X-Hunters? Were they even real?

Randomness: You here cuuuuz me likey you! Find your way through my world, my alternate dimension, my whole wheat bread. Great fortunes it be if a winner is you.

*Outlaw fishes DK out from under the spoons*

Randomness: As for those others.. Real they were but are lost…Lost lost lost. I lost my bib.

Dark Knight: I don’t like this. This clown from who-knows-where just wants to toy with us. Lets just get out of here.

Outlaw: No… Something tells me we need to take this challenge and rescue the X-Hunters.

Dark Knight: Why? You said they were our enemies! Why help them?

Outlaw: I can’t explain it really, I feel it’s the right thing to do. They might be useful when we finally confront Anti-Majin and his crew.

Dark Knight: I get it, they hate them more than us. The more firepower we have on our side the better!

Outlaw: Right!

Randomness: TACO! I make gate!

*A swirling vortex opens before the two*

Outlaw: You ready?

Dark Knight: Lets do this!

*They step through the gate*

Outlaw: Where the heck are we?

Dark Knight: Oh, I don’t know… I have never been here before…

Outlaw: But this is… the tower! Our tower!

Dark Knight: Pardon?

Outlaw: Our old base… before that bastard… before Anti-Majin took control of it. *clenches fist* And it seems Mr. Randomness will use it for his sick game…!

Dark Knight: *looking around* It was a pretty nice base. Did you have computers?

Outlaw: Yes, and…

Dark Knight: *dissapears*

Outlaw: Wait…! *follows him*

Dark Knight: Here it is! *points to a door*

Outlaw: How do you know?

Dark Knight: Easy, here’s a sign that reads: “Here’s the computer room. No, this isn’t a trap. You won’t hit a brick wall, face your worst nightmares or whatever. Yours truly, Randomness with no j. REMEMBER WITH NO J OR THE SPACE CLOWNS WILL EAT YOUR BRAIN!!! ARGH!” *the sign bursts into flames*

Outlaw: I have a bad feeling about this…

Dark Knight: *enters the room*

Outlaw: Great… he NEVER thinks before moving.

*Outlaws tries to enter the room, but hits… a brick wall.*

Outlaw: Oof! Didn’t Mr. Randomness say no brick walls?!

Phoenix Wright: OBJECTION! He’s lying and I can freakin’ prove it!

Outlaw: But Randomness…

Phoenix Wright: He says he wants randomness! *implodes*

Outlaw: I’ll just ignore that happened… let’s try again. DK, you in here? *opens the door*

Donkey Kong: Uh.

Outlaw: …

Donkey Kong: Ah.

Outlaw: *faints*

*When Outlaw wakes up…*

Dark Knight: *sitting in front of a computer* Hey! Look at this! I beat the highest score!

Outlaw: *scared* You can’t! That computer is just ham!

Dark Knight: What?? Chuck Norris, I blame you for this!

Outlaw: *horrified* You can’t!! That’s not Chuck Norris! That’s only bread! It’s a ham sandwich!!!!

Dark Knight: AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! *ear-piercing scream*

*Meanwhile, at a random place…*

Randomness: Oh, c’mon, they are losing! The aren’t beating the highest score! Me meaning, c’mon, me has beaten Tetris! Me beat Pacman! YES, THE HALF-EATEN PIZZA THING! MWAHAHAHA!!! Listen to my pizza-like beat of unquestionable doom!! *dances*

Agile: Holy cows, how can a beat be pizza-like, and even worse, of unquestionable doom?!

Serges: More importantly, how do we know he dances if we can’t see him!?

Violen: *crying* I want to go back home…

Randomness: *stops dancing* Lack of faith in the awesome power of Randomness! The ultimate orange hamster living in Serge’s mustache is angrrrrry!

X-Hunters: No, please, not again!

Narrator: *loses it* This isn’t any sense!

Randomness: Shaddup. *splats a pizza in his face*

*Back to Outlaw and DK*

Dark Knight: Ok I’ve had enough of this crazy place. We’ve seen floating brooms, crawling toasters and melting windows. I don’t think I can take much more of this.

Outlaw: No arguments there. We need to find where the X-Hunters are, and then all this should go away. Now let me think, where would they be?

Dark Knight: This place looks like your old tower right? Where would the toughest place be?

Outlaw: The toughest? That would be..TCoD*!

*See Series 1, Epilogue #11 “Training Bad”

Dark Knight: What?

Outlaw: I’ll explain on the way. C’mon!

*They race down the hall*


Randomness: The peanuts are fighting my toenail!

Serges: *wearing a tutu* Have you noticed that everytime he talks things get weirder?

Agile: *In a bunny suit* Yeah… I noticed.

*Back to our heros*

Dark Knight: How can you be sure that that’s where Randomness is?

Outlaw: I’m not, but I have a feeling that its the right place. Only problem is that the TCoD is in the basement. We’re still a few floors up.

Dark Knight: Just to be sure I’m going to check out some of these doors.

*DK goes to a door that once led to Void’s lab. When it opens a train is seen going at full speed towards them*

Dark Knight: HOLY CRAP! *slams door*

Outlaw: You sure you want to keep that up?

Dark Knight: Umm…Let me try one more.

*DK goes to what was once Majin’s room and opens the door. A giant face pops out*


Outlaw: Forget this. I’m going to get us down the quick way.

*Using his blades Outlaw cuts a large hole in the celing*

Outlaw: Lets go!

Dark Knight: That’s not right.

Outlaw: That’s what I’m counting on!

*They jump in the hole which takes them to the TCoD*

Dark Knight: What the…

Outlaw: I think I’ve got how we can beat Randomness.

Dark Knight: How?

Outlaw: By fighting fire with fire.

Randomness: Well well, you found me hiding place. Rabbits change my channel! Come get your pals. They right here!

*A spotlight shines on the X-Hunters*


Dark Knight: Fine then. *Begins to walk towards them, but is stopped by a force*

Randomness: Ah ah ah. You didn’t say the magic word! Me am cosmic being, me am strong. Fight me you must now. Choo-choo! Choooose form!

Outlaw: Right. Ok Mr. Cosmic being of annoyance here goes. Get ready for an ass kicking!

*Randomness turns into an apple*

Dark Knight: Now he should be easy to fight.

*Suddenly Randomness gets the shape of a teddy bear*

Outlaw: Help me here DK!

Dark Knight: Huh?

Outlaw: The only way to win is to fight him at his own game. Keep thinking of things for him to turn into.

Dark Knight: Ok I get it now!

*So the two of them keep on thinking of the most out there and strange things, as well as ordinary things causing the entity known as Randomness to keep his form ever changing*

Randomness: Stoooooooop, stooooop, can’t keep up. Too much Fruitcake eats children!!! Never taste the last wrench! Arglbargle fluffy fluff!

*The world around them begins to become even more distorted and soon everything is going haywire.*

Outlaw: X-Hunters! Get over here now, he should be weak enough for you to move!

*The X-Hunters, not wasting any time, charge towards them. They make it across a pudding stream that showed up and finally made it to our heros.*

Dark Knight: I wonder if they can help us now that they are with us?

Serges: Worth a shot.

*So with the collective minds of the two C:IA members and the X-Hunters they send Randomness even more forms and ideas. Now with all the thougths coming his way he no longer can keep a form, just an ever changing blob of mess.*

Randomness: AEIOU!!!

*The world they were in sudddenly begins to implode. Mass chaos ensues and they all black out*

*Some time later*

Outlaw: *waking up* uhhHhhh. Oh man… My head. What a dream that must have been. Wait a sec.

*Looks to see DK nearby. They are back in the sewer where they began.*

Dark Knight: You finally woke up. That adventure was crazy, but kinda fun! We should rescue our enemies from cosmic entities more often! But why did it choose us, and why did we need to save those guys? And where are they?

Outlaw: I don’t know. Lets just go home and let everyone know what happened.

Dark Knight: *As they are leaving* They’ll never believe us you know.

*Further back in the sewer*

Serges: That’s the last time we rely on magical beings that revived us to help in our plans!

Agile: Look it was worth trying ok? How was I supposed to know we would go through something like that?

Violen: At least it’s over.

The E–

Randomness: WAAAAAIT! Me no done yet, me no done yet!

Narrator: No more out of you. Shut the hell up loser.

Randomness: …k… 😦

The End


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