Bohemian Rhapsody C:IA Style

*Written by Rebel4000*

This is one of the “Specials” that appeared on the site.  Those were usually stories that either were written in a different format, had a story that didn’t focus on the main group, or was a more on the creative side.

 

*It was late at night at the Code: Island Attackers base… but some people just couldn’t sleep.*

Majin: *drunk* BEER!

Rebel: *high off of caffeine* HEY MAJIN HIT ME WITH ANOTHER!!

Majin: BEER!

Rebel: CAN I HEAR?! WELL OF COURSE I CAN THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!

Majin: BEER!

*After another hour consuming alchohol and Coke, the two members went to bed. Majin, who drank the most as usual, wasn’t feeling too well, however.*

Majin: errrr i DoN’t feeeeeeeeeeel 2 well… *passes out*

*The next day…*

Majin: Urrgh, my head hurts. I think I drank a little too–*turns a sickly green*–Urp!! *runs to the bathroom*

*After “relieving” himself, Majin heads to the kitchen to find some more beer.*

Majin: Yup, nothing like some beer to get a man over a hangover! *stops, blinks, rubs his eyes, and blinks again* Huh?

Agile: Hey Majin.

Majin: Agile? What are you doing here?!

Serges: *reading the comics* Are you drunk again? We live here. We are a team, after all–ooh, Garfield. *starts laughing maniacally*

Majin: Wha…?

Agile: Too true… *turns his head* Hey, Violen! Are you done with breakfast yet?!

Violen: *in a really girly voice* Yessir Mr. Agile, sir! *giggles uncontrollably*

Serges: C’mon, Majin. Let’s sit down and eat.

Majin: …Right… *sits down and looks at the food* What the heck is this?

Violen: Soy sauce with peas.

Majin: …Then why is it moving?

Violen: Oh, no!

*Violen pulls out his medicine ball and proceeds to beat the food to death, until it retialiates by eating him whole and then catches itself on fire.*

Agile: FIRE!!

Serges: FIRE!!

*Agile grabs Serges and uses his body to put the fire out.*

Agile: Whew…

Serges: Man, that was some quick thinking, Agile! I wish I was as smart as you.

Majin: …Come again?

Agile: Aw, stop it, Serges. Just because I have a PhD in nuclear technical rocketry fission doesn’t mean I’m that smart.

*Majin can only stare in wonder as he watches the two talk. He is amazed that Agile is a brainiac and that Serges is an idiot.*

Majin: Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide–
No escape from reality…

Agile and Serges: Open your eyes…
Look up to the skies and see!

Majin: I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy.
Because I’m easy come, easy go,
A little high, little low…
Anyway the wind blows, doesn’t really matter to me…
To me…

Rebel: *smacks Majin* Majin, shut up.

Majin: *blinks* Hu-what?

Void: Shh! We are trying to remain hidden.

Dark Knight: So quit singing!

Rebel, Void, Outlaw, Shadowstrike, Metabad, Sean: Shhh!!

*Everyone–all of the members of the Island Attackers–stand there for roughly 27 hours, waiting.*

Majin: So, um… what are we doing again?

Rebel: *smacks self* Would someone get this guy a beer?

Shadowstrike: I’ll do it!

Void: EVERYONE SHUT UP GOD WE ARE ALL GOING TO BLOW IT AND IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT SHADOWSTRIKE AND IF IT IS I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!!

*Everyone stares at Void in wonder.*

Outlaw: I smell puppies.

Void: ARRGH THAT’S IT SHADOWSTRIKE!!

Shadowstrike: No!! *kills Void*

Rebel: *gasps*

Outlaw: *gasps*

Sean: *gasps*

Dark Knight: *gasps*

Metabad: *gasps*

Majin: *gasps even louder than everyone else* What did you do?!

Sean: *points* Oh my God! He killed Void!

Metabad: You bastard!

Shadowstrike: B-but… he was gonna kill me first! You guys gotta believe me.

Outlaw: We must do something.

Dark Knight: Yes, before we are next.

Rebel: But what?

Sean: *jumps on Void’s corpse* I suggest we peel off his skin using a potatoe peeler and then feed it to a group of starving fangirls who scream “CloudxSephiroth” which will lead the fulfillment of a dark and ominous proficy where we all shall gain the amazing ability of boiling carrots.

*Everyone stares. Especially Majin.*

Rebel: That idea… is just crazy enough to work! Did everyone bring their potatoe peelers?

Rebel, Outlaw, Metabad, Sean: *lifts their arms up, showing potatoe peelers*

Majin: *notices he has one too* Uh…

Shadowstrike: W-wait! Don’t I at least get a… *picks up a phone* Phone call?!

Dark Knight: Oh, fine, you big baby.

Sean: But you only get five minutes!

*And so Shadowstrike dials the phone*

Shadowstrike: Mama, just killed a man.
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead.
Mama, life had just begun…
But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away!

Everyone else: Mama ooo~!

Shadowstrike: Didn’t mean to make you cry!
If I’m not back again this time tomorrow–
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters…

*A sudden explosion interrupts the group. The intruders are…*

Rebel: The Code: Island Attackers!

Majin: …Say what.

Agile: Aha! So this is what you X-Hunters have been planning! Trying to destroy a Coca-Cola factory in the name of Pepsi, eh?!

Majin: *a part of him dies inside*

Serges: Good thing you decided to put Majin undercover for us, huh boss?

Agile: You bet!

Metabad: Majin is a traitor!

Rebel: How dare you!

Majin: Err… I’m confused… and man I still gotta hang–*throws up Violen*

Everyone else: Eww…

Violen: *wearing a pinky frilly dress* April Fools everyone!

Agile: Now, to finish this! Let’s just see who the real murderer is! *pulls Violen’s mask off* Gasp!

Serges: It was Majin!

Both Majins: *laughs nervously*

Outlaw: Then who is this other Majin? *pulls his mask off* Gasp!

Sean: It’s Void!

Majin: So who the heck did I kill… or Shadow killed… or was it Violen?

Agile: *steps forward* Obviously it was all an ingenious attempt for Majin, knowing that Void was in fact Violen to kill him and thus throw him back up to reveal that he had actually killed himself which would result in the immediate death of Void.

Void: *immediately dies*

Sean: It all makes perfect sense!!

Majin: No it doesn’t.

Metabad: Yes it does.

Majin: No, it doesn’t.

Rebel: Yes, it does.

Majin: No it doesn’t, damn it!

Agile: *grabs Majin’s jaw and moves it* “I mean yes it does silly me hahahah.” Look! He admits! Take him away!

*Members of the CIA and X-Hunters grab Majin and drag him off.*

Majin: Too late, my time has come.
Sends shivers down my spine,
Body’s aching all the time…
Goodbye everybody–I’ve got to go…
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth–!!

Everyone else: Mama ooo~!

Violen: *appears* Anyway the wind blows~…

Majin: I don’t want to die…
I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all!

Rebel: *takes out a crobar and knocks Majin out* Shaddup.

*After a little while, Majin wakes up and notices he is in a courtroom. But it is not a normal courtroom, for he is standing the middle of a spotlight, and the Island Attackers, X-Hunters, and other teams are seated around him. He looks up and sees the judge, which looks like Donald Trump, peering at him, and other various villains to the side acting as the jury.*

Trump: *in a loud, booming voice* HOW DO YOU PLEAD?

Majin: Innocent, what else?! This is ridiculous, I didn’t kill anyone! Shadowstrike did!

Phoenix Wright: *slams his hands on the table* He’s lying damn it, and I can prove it!!

Trump: ORDER IN THE COURT!!

*Everyone stops talking.*

Trump: *looks at Frank, who is drawing a picture of the trial* TELL ME, WHAT DO YOU SEE IN THE PICTURE YOU ARE DRAWING, MR. FRANKENPLOID?

*Frank sighs, stands up, and lifts his picture into the air so everyone can see. All it contains is a red squiggly which looks disturbingly like Ronald McDonald’s hair. Everyone simply stares stupidly at the drawing, making “oohs” and “ahhs.”*

Trump: YES, BUT WHAT DO YOU SEE?

Frank: I see a little silhouetto of a man!

Neonman: Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?

Shadowstrike, Blackbelt, Nathan: Thunderbolt and lightning–very, very frightening me!!

Jade: Galileo!

Ben: Galileo!

Jade: Galileo!

Ben: Galileo!

Jade: Galileo!

Ben: Figaro!!

Alpha Movement: Magnifico-o-o-o-o-o-o…

Majin: But I’m just a poor boy and nobody loves me–

Wily’s Warriors: He’s just a poor boy from a poor family!
Spare him his life from this monstrosity!

Majin: Easy come, easy go, will you let me go–

Trump: Bismillah!

Ryouga, Oreo, Loreo: No, we will not let you go–

CIA: Let him go–

Trump: Bismillah!

Jobin, Quint X, Red: We will not let you go–

Red Alert: Let him go–

Trump: Bismillah!

Sigma, Vile, Wily, Bass: We will not let you go–

Majin: Let me go–

X-Hunters: Will not let you go–

Majin: Let me go–

Alien Wily, Gutsdozer, Dragon: Will not let you go–

Majin: Never, never, never let me go-o-o-o-o-o-o–

Shadow Hunters: No, no, no, no, no, no, no!!

Starnik: Oh mama mia, mama mia!

Majin: Mama mia, let me go!
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,
for me–

Everyone else: For me!!

Trump: *pounding* I SAID ORDER IN THE COURT OR I WILL FIRE EVERY SINGLE ONE YOU!!

*Everyone shuts up.*

Trump: ANYWAY, WHAT IS THE VERDICT?

Mr. Whiz: *hands Trump an envelope*

Trump: *opens the envelope* GUILTY!!

Anti-Majin: *stands up and points* Hah! I KNEW you were going to get the ax! You hax!!

Majin: Shut up!

Trump: MAJIN YOU SHALL BE FACING THE DEATH PENALTY IN EXACTLY TEN MINUTES. FEEL FREE TO DO WHATEVER UNTIL THEN.

Majin: Can I go home?

Trump: YOU CAN GO TO HELL.

Majin: Hey!

*After the trial…*

Rebel: Majin, I’ll never forget ya.

Majin: Really?

Rebel: No, actually I lied.

Majin: Oh…

Rebel: In fact, I’ve already found a replacement for you. C’mon out!

Naoshi: Hey.

Majin: *stares*

Naoshi: Rebel, guess what?

Rebel: What?

Naoshi: I LOVE AVI!!

*Out of nowhere Metabad appears with two guitars and hands one to Rebel. The two then proceed to rawk out.*

Metabad: So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?

Rebel: So you think you can love me and leave me to die?!

Metabad: Oh, baby–can’t do this to me baby!

Rebel: Just gotta get out–just gotta get right outta here!!

*Rebel immediately jumps out of a 20-story window and plummet to his death. Naoshi and Metabad scream.*

Naoshi: *points at Majin* Oh my God! You killed Rebel!

Metabad: You bastard!!

Majin: If I got a nickle everytime someone called me that, I’d have… *counts his fingers* 5 cents.

*X, Zero, and Axl come in and slap handcuffs on Majin.*

X: You are under arrest for the murder of a suicide!

Majin: But I’m already under arrest!

X: Then you’ll be above arrest, damn it!

Axl: Zero, quick, DO A BARREL ROLL!

Zero: *does a barrel roll out of the same window Rebel jumped out of and dies.*

X: NOOOOOOOO ZERO!! *cries*

Majin: Now’s my chance! *knocks X out of the way and runs down the hall*

Naoshi: Stop the murderer!

*Majin runs from the law as Code: Island Attackers, Alpha Movement, Red Alert, Wily’s Warriors, X-Hunters, Shadow Hunters, and everyone else chases after him. Eventually he bursts out of the massive labrynth of the building, outside, and with the persuers right on his heels.*

Majin: FREEEEEEEEEEDOM!!! *hits a brick wall* Ow. *looks up* Why is there a brick wall right in front of the doorway?

Trump: SO BAD LITTLE FUGITIVES SUCH AS YOURSELF WOULD NOT TRY AND ESCAPE.

Majin: *turns to see that he is surrounded* Leave me alone!! I didn’t do anything!

Brick: LIAH!!

*The group slowly advances on Majin as everything goes dark. Next thing Majin notices he standing up on a podium with his head stuck in a guillotine.*

Fay: Good, your awake. Now we can commence with the execution!

Majin: Now wait just one cockin-pickin minute…

Fay: Executioner, are you ready to… execute?

Lan: YOU BET!!

Ben: Come on! Kill him already! I haven’t got enough violence today!!

Anime Master: Although this is technically justice.

Ben: Violence, justice… since when were they different?

Fay: *clears his throat* Majin, you have been charged with the murders Void Darkheart, Rebel40000, and Zero.

Majin: Okay, first off, Shadowstrike killed Void! Second, Rebel killed himself! Third, Zero is right over there!

Zero: *waves*

X: *kills Zero* OH MY GOD NOT ZEROOOOOOOOOO!! *cries*

Fay: Okay then, you have been charged with the murders of Void, Rebel, Zero, AND Zero, bitch. Any last requests?

Majin: Don’t kill me?

Fay: Hahahah, sorry, this is America. We don’t spare people here unless they are famous and can give us lots of moolah. *faces Lan* Drop the guillotine!

Lan: EXECUTE!!

Everyone else: Ooh yeah, ooh yeah~!

*As Lan drops the guillotine, the last thing Majin sees is Violen, in tears, coming up to give him a big, wet, sloppy kiss–*

Majin: *wakes up* ALKHDLKGHASKFDH WHERE THE HECK IS THE FIRE?!

Void: *flies in* Majin, you’re awake!

Majin: Void! You’re alive!

Void: *blinks and nods slowly* Yes… it would appear that I am.

Majin: That’s great! What about Rebel, is he alive too? I mean, I saw him jump out of a building and all so I–

Void: I doubt jumping out of a building would harm Rebel, much less kill him, especially when Coke is involved.

Majin: Oh.

Void: *pulls out a clipboard and checks it off* You’ve been out of it for about two days… Apparently you went passed the limit on how much alchohol you can handle… not to mention you drank beer when it was warm.

Majin: Ew.

Void: Very. Anyway, I suggest you get some rest. I’ll have Frank bring you some food later. *starts to leave*

Majin: Hey Void?

Void: *stops* Hmm?

Majin: …Bah, forget it.

*Void shrugs and walks off, and Majin flops back down in his bed and sighs deeply, glad he is out of that nightmare.*

Majin: Nothing really matters…
Anyone can see…
Nothing really matters–nothing really matters to me…

Everyone else: Anyway the wind blows~…

The End

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