Why is my Car now a Footprint?

*Written by Sean and Shadowstrike*

Narrator: It was a bright and sunny day over the Atlantic Ocean.

Rebel: That’s right, do what we pay you for.

Narrator: You don’t pay me.

Rebel: Fine; do what we don’t pay you for.

Sean: Don’t you have a work ethic?

Dark Knight: Probably a lazy bum.

Outlaw: *lounging in a beach chair* Can’t we all just get along?

Dark Knight: No.

Rebel: *opening a can of Coca-Cola* Is there anything better?

Metabad: Rawking?

Rebel: Close, but not as good.

*Just as Rebel goes to take a drink, the ship rocks violently, and he drops the cola, it rolling off the side*

Sean: Talk about bad luck. At least we have more, right?

Rebel: We need to turn around!

Void: It’s only one can. We have more.

Rebel: WE ARE TURNING AROUND! ALL COKE IS PRECIOUS!!

Void: Okay…

Sean: Who’s flying the Whale King at the moment anyways? Aren’t we all outside?

Void: Shadowstrike. Majin is his co-pilot.

Dark Knight: I thought you were smarter than that.

Rebel: Excuse me? Why are we still going forward, I said we GO BACK FOR THE SODA!

*Rebel runs inside the Whale King, and a few moments later Shadowstrike and Majin are thrown out of the ship.*

Shadowstrike: What the hell happened?

Majin: *dangling over the edge* Who took the ground away?

Void: You made Rebel drop his soda into the ocean.

*The Whale King makes a tight turn and everyone clings on to dear life.*

Shadowstrike: THERE IS NO NEED TO RUSH!

Rebel: COKE IS AT STAKE!

*The Whale King then splashes down and lands on the water. Rebel comes back out.*

Rebel: Okay, EVERYONE OFF! *he proceeds to punt everyone off the Whale King.* AND DON’T COME BACK WITHOUT COKE!

Metabad: I CAN’T SWIM!

Rebel: Well you better learn fast.

Sean: I wonder what’s at the bottom…. *drifts down*

Void: Okay everyone, let’s get this done fast. We gotta find this Coca-Cola. Are we ready?

Majin: Incoherent babble.

Shadowstrike: Ye–*a giant fish grabs his leg and drags him down*–AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

Dark Knight: No.

Metabad: Help!

Dark Knight: GET BACK HERE! WE ALL HAVE TO DO THE WORK!!

Outlaw: Sure, I guess.

Rebel: Good enough.

*The Whale king starts to fly up*

Rebel: I’m not landing until you have a full can’s worth.

*Everyone scrambles while Sean and Shadowstrike sink to the bottom*

Shadowstrike: Any clue where we are?

Sean: Well, we recently flew over a town called Angel Grove.

Shadowstrike: Really?

Sean: Yeah, weird place. They have beaches, but only a few miles outside of town and you’re in a desert.

Shadowstrike: What’s that big metal thing over there? Looks like a ton of stuff is growing on it.

Sean: Dunno. Let’s swim closer.

Shadowstrike: Wait, hey look over there!

Sean: What is it?

Shadowstrike: I found Waldo!

Waldo: Ah! *runs away*

Sean: This giant metal thing….looks like some kind of dragon…

Sean and Shadowstrike: I WANT IT!

Sean and Shadowstrike: NO I WANT IT!

Sean: Like you could repair that thing!

Shadowstrike: Like you could fly it!

*Both glare at each other*

Sean and Shadowstrike: Fine, we’ll share it. But don’t tell anyone else!

Sean: You know, now that we’re closer, I think I recognize this…

Shadowstrike: Godzilla in samurai armor?

Sean: No… You had a relative back from the old teams before X, right?

Shadowstrike: Yeah, my grandfather was on Drastic something, why?

Sean: Did he ever mention the Power Rangers?

Shadowstrike: I don’t remember. He had a lot of stories.

Sean: They were a series of teams of humans given special powers by their commander who’d be anything from a floating head to some other weird alien. They piloted giant robots. In the end they always managed to defeat their enemies, but usually to actually finish something for good they’d destroy every single one of their weapons in the process. The Dragonzord’s power supply started failing before it could get destroyed so it just ended up abandoned. I think this is the Dragonzord.

Shadowstrike: You’re kidding? You think this is some giant justice defending robot?

Sean: Fits the description and it looks like this might of been resting here for a century. Location is about right as well.

*Sean examines the aged Dragonzord*

Shadowstrike: But we can’t use it. You said it yourself. It has no power supply.

Sean: It needed some legendary power source thing, but with today’s technology I think I could easily whip up something that would work better. In fact I probably could upgrade most of the weapon systems too…. This will work out nicely.

Shadowstrike: Should we tell the others?

Sean: Do you want to share a giant mechanical dragon?

Shadowstrike: I don’t even want to share it with you.

Sean: I think that answers your question. We will need its controller though…. I think Angel Grove just opened up a new Power Rangers Memorial Museum. Maybe they’ll have it.

Shadowstrike: We’re going to steal it? Aren’t we, you know, the good guys?

Sean: Look, its a museum. What would be honoring a heroes memory more? Reusing their weaponry to fight evil or letting it gather dust while some kids run around knocking over exhibits in front of it?

Shadowstrike: How about we just hurt the kids? That work?

Sean: No, we can’t. I’m drawing the line there. If it makes you feel better call it salvaging not stealing. Besides at the price of admission, those guys are the real villains.

Shadowstrike: How much is it?

Sean: $8 a kid, $13.50 an adult.

*Shadowstrike stares*

Sean: Look I went there because they have a cool gift shop, okay?

Shadowstrike: …What’d you buy?

Sean: Remote control models of the first ten megazords. I was thinking of having them attack DK in his sleep for laughs.

Shadowstrike: You’re sadistic.

Sean: It’s okay to electrocute me, but it’s wrong for me to seek revenge? And, no before you try. We’re underwater, you’ll get shocked too.

Shadowstrike: It could be–Aww…

Sean: Lets swim back up to the surface. They hopefully found the coke can by now.

*Back at the surface*

Rebel: *holding a whip* Work faster! *cracks the whip*

*Sean and Shadowstrike surface*

Rebel: Where the Hell were you two?

Sean: Um…

Shadowstrike: I thought I saw Waldo.

Rebel: Did you?

Shadowstrike: Yes.

Sean: He still owes me money.

Rebel: What!? We must head to the town for supplies! We are going Waldo Hunting!

Void: How would you know where to come back to?

Rebel: Put Majin in a life raft and have him circle.

Void: It could be days to the nearest town!

Rebel: Then put food in the life raft, do I have to think of everything? Now, lets go!

*Everyone takes off in the Whale King while Majin waits in the water. He is wearing one of those child inner tube things that are made to look like a duck and splashing in the water.*

Sean: Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with him.

Void: Don’t you ask the same questions about everyone here?

Sean: His are asked more frequently.

Rebel: Silence! I need perfect concentration to pilot!

Shadowstrike: Umm… I’m piloting. You’re just playing a DS.

Rebel: It’s a flight simulator game!

Shadowstrike: It’s Star Fox!

Rebel: It will prepare me for upcoming battles!

Void: We don’t have spaceships!

Rebel: Why must you all nitpick? Do you want to go back to the TCoD*?

*See Series 1, Epilogue #11 “Training Bad”

Shadowstrike: The what?

Sean: What’s that?

Rebel: That’s it! All of you! I’m not speaking to ANY of you until we reach the nearest town! *storms off*

Void: Finally, some quiet.

Shadowstrike: I wouldn’t say so… we’re at the next town…

*Rebel storms back in*

Sean: Maybe we should rest for the night and then split up to find Waldo in the morning.

Rebel: I like it! It was my idea! Let’s do that!

Sean: And me and Shadowstrike can scout the town before heading to bed to spot potential hideouts to search tomorrow.

Rebel: Whatever. *drinks a can of coke* Bleck! This tastes like saltwater!

Sean: Come on, lets head out.

*Sean and Shadowstrike leave the Whale King and start heading for the museum*

Sean: That was easy.

Shadowstrike: Is that the museum over there?

Sean: Yeah, hey look, they have a picture of the Dragonzord on the side?

Shadowstrike: Who’s the guy in green?

Sean: The pilot I think.

Shadowstrike: Whats with the dagger in his hand?

Sean: That’s the controller. You can play it like a flute.

Shadowstrike: Seriously?

Sean: Yes.

Shadowstrike: Wouldn’t… buttons work better?

Sean: No. They were given their powers by a floating head in a jar. Why would he design something with buttons?

Shadowstrike: A giant head?

Sean: Don’t ask. Evolution went wrong on some worlds.

Shadowstrike: Did he at least make this dragon have awesome weapons?

Sean: It’s tail could drill through enemies and it could shoot missiles from its hands. I plan to give it more weaponry.

Shadowstrike: Like what?

Sean: Lasers, plasma grenades, charged particle cannon, death rays, force fields, more missiles, a thousand different types of flashy beams and explosions. You know, all the standard stuff.

Shadowstrike: Nice.

Sean: Now we just need to get past security.

Guard: *wearing a Putty suit* This job sucks….

*Sean throws a crystal at his head knocking him out*

Sean: You will learn from any kids tv show it only takes one hit to knock any enemy out.

Shadowstrike: Okay, but what about the other five? *points at the five guards surrounding them*

Sean: You can’t make anything easy, can you?

*Shadow then knocks all five guards out by kicking them all in the head at high speed*

Shadowstrike: Okay, lets go.

Sean: Showoff.

*They arrive to where the dragon dagger is stored. It is in a glass case.*

Sean: Like this could get any easier.

*Sean takes out a crystal and carves out a hole in the glass. He grabs the dragon dagger along with an example morpher and a powerless dragon coin. Alarms go off and dozens of Z Putties arrive.*

Shadowstrike: Holy crap! Thats a lot!

Sean: Seriously, how are these guys stronger? They have a giant target on their chest that destroys them! Just hit the ‘Z’.

Shadowstrike: You’re kidding.

Sean: Sadly, no.

*They hit the ‘Z’ with quick, accurate shots and every Z Putty just explodes*

Sean: Its nice that they have a theme, but really they could do better. Lets just go back to the Whale King. We can repair and upgrade the Dragonzord tomorrow.

*The next day*

Rebel: WE ARE TAKING OFF!! Waldo, no longer shall you elude me you sneaky bastard! WHY AREN’T WE FLYING!?

Shadowstrike: You’re standing on the controls.

Rebel: So?

Void: Just get down already.

Rebel: DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!

Sean: Just get down, we’ve already landed on the water.

Void: I hope Majin is okay.

*Everyone looks outside to see Majin riding a dolphin from Super Mario World*

Majin: *incoherent babble*

Sean: Okay. Shadowstrike and I will search underwater again. DK will go with Majin. Metabad and Rebel can go together and that leaves Void with Outlaw.

Void: Why do you get to choose the teams?

Dark Knight: You suck. I want to go with Rebel.

Sean: Because I gave Rebel a coke and beat up a man for drinking Pepsi.

Rebel: He’s my hero!

*Everyone splits off once more. Sean and Shadowstrike sink to the bottom of the ocean*

Sean: Okay, you can swim back up to the Whale King whenever I need a part while I do repairs.

Shadowstrike: Okay. But what do we do if they actually find Waldo?

Sean: Claim we got lost or were chasing his associates?

Shadowstrike: Why is Rebel looking for him so intently? Were they once childhood friends but now bitter enemies?

Sean: Nah, Rebel just got stumped by one of his books and lost the book before he could ever complete it. That failure has been haunting him since. Now, go get me a heavy crate of supplies from the Whale King.

Shadowstrike: Fine. *swims up*

*At the surface*

Dark Knight: AAAAH STOP! *water skiing behind Majin and his dolphin * I’M GETTING SICK!

Majin: *incoherent babble*

Dolphin: *dolphin noises*

Shadowstrike: Hehehe….Okay, now to get those supplies…

*Back under the water*

Shadowstrike: Alright I got the sup–WALDO! *drops the box and points*

Waldo: Oh no! *swims away*

*Sean fires off a barrage of crystal spears, pinning Waldo to the ocean floor.*

Sean: There, now we’ll just claim we caught him whenever we’re done.

Narrator: Several hours later…

Sean: What do you mean several? I can work fast.

Narrator: Look, repairing an ancient Zord in one day is already far fetched enough. Even considering what exists in this universe.

Sean: Fine.

Narrator: Several hours plus one additional hour later since the snail chose to challenge me.

Sean: I can stab you.

Narrator: It could always be worse.

Sean: *shocked* Ouch.

*Waldo, Shadowstrike, the rest of the C:IA, and even the Narrator are also shocked*

Narrator: …I did not think that one through.

Shadowstrike: Dammit! You killed Waldo!

Sean: *slaps Waldo and hears a groan* He’s fine.

Narrator: Minutes later…

Shadowstrike: No! We weren’t ready for a scene change!

Narrator: Fine, then finish.

Sean: And I hate narrators. I’ve never had a good experience with one.

Shadowstrike: I don’t want to anymore.

Sean: Whatever, I’m done now. Let’s just move on.

Narrator: Ahem… minutes later…

Sean: The Dragonzord is now powered by the most powerful and secret power supply known to man!

Shadowstrike: Duracell? Majin’s excess energy?

Sean: It wouldn’t be secret if I told you. It can only later be revealed as a plot device later.

Shadowstrike: How do we get this on the Whale King?

Sean: Stick it in a storage area and put up a sign on the door saying “Spinach, Broccoli, Avocados, and Other Greenery”?

Shadowstrike: You are evil.

Sean: I’m not really putting them on the ship, this will keep everyone away. Lets just load it up and then call everyone back saying we caught Waldo.

Waldo: Lemme go!

Sean: Just wait there. We’ll be back in like two minutes.

*Two minutes later, the narrator isn’t just messing with time this time*

Sean: We’re did he go? All that is left is his beret!

Shadowstrike: Dammit! Narrator, did you do this?

Narrator: Noooooooope.

Sean: Whatever, might as well call Rebel back from the wild goose chase and give him the beret.

Shadowstrike: Maybe we should put the beret on Maj.

Sean: Nah, I’d rather leave this town soon.

Shadowstrike: Alright. *turns on com link * Reb, come in. You’ll never guess what we found.

Rebel: *floating by them* Yeah? What is it?

Sean: That was fast.

Rebel: When dealing with Waldo, I don’t screw around.

Sean: We managed to find him, but he escaped. Here is his beret. We expect that he might have teamed up with the narrator.

Rebel: Damn them. Damn them to Hell!

Sean: We better head back to town and rest for the night again.

Rebel: Why!? He is in the area!

Sean: He might have fled to town.

Rebel: TO TOWN!! AWAY!!

Shadowstrike: What about the others?

Rebel: TO TOWN!!

*They speed off. Majin, DK, Void, and Outlaw show up and look around.*

Void: Did they ditch us?

Dark Knight: DAMN IT! What do we do now?

Metabad: Not rawkin!

Void: Metabad? Where did you come from?

Metabad: I fell off the ship when it sped off. Totally not rawkin.

Majin: Intangible babble!

*A swarm of dolphins hear Majin’s call and come to give everyone a ride.*

Majin: *hugs dolphin* Incoherent nabble!

Dark Knight: Not again!

Void: We need to ride dolphins back to town…

*They jump on the dolphins*

Dark Knight: Mine keeps going the wrong way!

Majin: *snickers*

Narrator: Now back to the characters who matter in this epilogue.

Serges: Aha!

Narrator: No, not them.

Sean: Thank you.

Narrator: I meant Waldo and Rebel.

Shadowstrike: Oh you suck.

*Waldo approaches them*

Waldo: Hah, I knew you’d come Code Island Attackers. You’ve been tormenting me for far too long. But this town has given me an idea. Meet my new ally, Scorpina, and her army of Putties!

Sean: I thought all those villains died when Zordon committed suicide.

Scorpina: I only showed up in a couple episodes before disappearing. No one has a clue what happened to me.

Waldo: That doesn’t matter! Putties attack!

Shadowstrike: I say we call the Zord.

Sean: What? We can’t!

Shadowstrike: Why not?

Sean: They’re tiny in comparison. We need to wait until they grow bigger or otherwise its completely one-sided instead of mostly one-sided.

Shadowstrike: Has that ever mattered before?

Rebel: Waldo! You will perish! I have found you!

*Rebel is completely oblivious and attacks a putty wearing a beret. All the putties now put on berets and scatter. Rebel runs off after them*

Rebel: Curse you and your duplication abilities!

Waldo: Now to face our ultimate weapon.

Scorpina: Something we built from all the Zord scrap in the Angel Grove scrapyard.

Sean: I was wondering where all that went.

Waldo: Meet your doom!

Waldo and Scorpina: The Waldonator!

Sean: Okay, now time to call the Dragonzord. Can you play the flute?

Shadowstrike: I can play Guitar Hero.

Sean: Close enough.

*Sean hands Shadowstrike the dragon dagger. Shadowstrike holds it sideways and pretends there are buttons. “Through the Fire and Flames” is heard coming from the dragon dagger as the Dragonzord slowly exits the Whale King and then charges forward with a roar*

Sean: Other way other way!

Shadowstrike: Okay! *plays more and has the giant robot go towards the enemy*

Sean: Now attack them! Play a different tune!

Shadowstrike: Okay! *”Carry On My Wayward Son” is heard as the Dragonzord falls down and goes to sleep*

Sean: Let me try!

*The Waldonator just stands and stares*

Shadowstrike: Doesn’t that thing have a cockpit?

*Sean has little musical talent. “Mary Had a Little Lamb” is heard. The Dragonzord starts skipping*

Shadowstrike: Why is it programed to skip!?

Sean: I was bored. Sometimes I put weird stuff into my code when I get distracted.

*The Waldonator is eating a sandwich*

Shadowstrike: Doesn’t it have a cockpit?!

Sean: Oh, yeah it did. The song is only completely necessary for summoning.

Waldo: So are you ready now?

Shadowstrike: Why are they waiting for us?

Sean: Huge fines otherwise. Special code of conduct.

Shadowstrike: Is there a rulebook or something?

Scorpina: Yes. There is a long list of rules. For example the last ranger always gets back back story and character development. Whoever wears Red is in charge despite lack of experience or training.

Sean: Let’s just get in the cockpit.

Shadowstrike: How? It’s all the way up there!

Sean: Just jump.

Shadowstrike: That makes no sense!

Waldo: Just get in so we can fight.

Sean: Stop complaining. *jumps and lands on the Dragonzord’s foot* Okay. We might have to climb a little.

Shadowstrike: Hey… Waldo… think you can give us a lift?

Waldo: Fine. Anything so we can move on.

Scorpina: Yeah, we can’t start until you’re ready.

*Waldo uses his Zord to lift up Sean and Shadowstrike and place them on the Dragonzord’s shoulder. The two enter the cockpit*

Scorpina: Now we can finally begin!

Sean: Fire the missiles!

Shadowstrike: Is that a DS on the console? You included a DS?

Sean: Umm… I based the controls off things we were familiar with. You’ll also notice a Wiimote and nunchuck.

Shadowstrike: Why does this button say “Don’t Press Unless Fighting Waldo”?

Sean: I like to make my control systems specific.

Shadowstrike: Can I press it?

Waldo: Quick, activate the stealth system!

*Waldonator disappears*

Sean: Sure.

*Shadow presses it and the Dragonzord fires red paint in every direction. The Waldonator is revealed*

Shadowstrike: Waldo! Found you! *points dramatically at the paint-covered robot*

Sean: Can I fire basically everything at once?

Shadowstrike: Go for it!

Waldo: No, we’re doomed! DOOMED! We should have repaired some of the weapons!

Scorpina: Why must all Power Ranger villains be horribly incompetent?

*Sean presses all the buttons, taps the DS screen repeatedly, and shakes the Wiimote and nunchuck like crazy. Millions of missiles and lasers fire destroying everything in the surrounding area and leaving a staggering Waldonator*

Shadowstrike: Can we impale it on the drill?

Sean: Sure.

Shadowstrike: Wait, how do we turn it on?

Sean: Oh, just press ‘B’ and then tilt forward.

Shadowstrike: Alright! Waldo! This is it! First you knocked over Rebel’s coke! Then you electrocuted us! And then you destroyed this town! YOU’RE GOING DOWN!

Sean: Actually, you and I did all that.

Shadowstrike: HE IS GOING DOWN! FINAL STRIKE! DRILL STORM HELL! *press’s B and up*

*The Dragonzord speeds towards The Waldonator at high speeds, and impales the evil robot on it’s tail, drilling it’s insides out. A giant colorful explosion appears as Waldo and Scorpina go flying into the sky*

Scorpina: Next time we’ll use parts from the Red Rangers’ Zord’s rather than just the Pink Rangers’!

Sean: Now to park this back inside the Whale King before the others get back.

*Five minutes later, Shadowstrike and Sean are standing outside the Whale King while Rebel chases an army of beret-wielding Putties towards them.*

Rebel: I’m going to get you Waldo!

*Just then the rest of the team riding the dolphins come charging in, tackling each Putty and knocking off their berets*

Rebel: No! None of them were real! Curse you, Waldo! HOW DARE YOU ELUDE ME AGAIN!!

Void: Rebel! YOU LEFT US IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN!!

*Sean places a beret on top of Void’s head.*

Rebel: There you are, Waldo! You won’t escape this time! *lunges at Void*

Void: Rebel! Stop! Wait! *gets tackled to the ground*

Sean: I think that is sufficient revenge for all the invocations of my curse.

The End

Advertisements

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: