Metavania

*By Rebel4000*

*It was a regular day on the Whale King.*

Rebel: THAT’S IT!! YOU PEONS HAVE DRANK MY COKE FOR THE LAST TIME!!

Metabad: YEAH FOR THE LAST TIME!!

Dark Knight: But I–*gets a boot to the head*

Rebel: SILENCE!!

Metabad: YEAH SILENCE!!

Outlaw: We didn’t–*gets a boot the head*

Rebel: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!! I’M SICK OF THIS NONSENSE!!

Metabad: YEAH SICK OF THIS NONSENSE!!

Shadowstrike: *wearing bucket* Hah, you can’t hit me with that boot–*gets a boot to the BALLS*–Urrrgh… *passes out*

Void: *flies in* Rebel! What are you–*gets a boot to the head*

Rebel: QUIET!!

Metabad: YEAH QUIET!!

Majin: *flopping around in the background* DURF

Rebel: *ignoring Majin* …So who’s left?

Metabad: Yeah who’s left–*gets smacked*–Sean.

Rebel: Could be worse!

*In the distance the duo hears an audible “zap” followed by a “curse you”*

Metabad: We rawk!! *rawks*

Rebel: Hellz yeah! *rawks*

Everyone else: *on the ground* Ugh…

*Later that day, Rebel and Metabad are lounging in the living room, cans of coke in hand*

Rebel: Y’know, it just don’t get no better than this.

Metabad: Jah.

Rebel: In fact, the only thing that would be better were if a giant meteor were to suddenly strike the Earth! Suddenly, no more Reploids!

Metabad: …

Rebel: …

Metabad: …

Rebel: …

Majin: …

Rebel: …Aw damn it.

*A giant meteor strikes the Earth, creating a giant tidal wave to form and crash into the Whale King, knocking it into the water!*

Outlaw, Void, Shadowstrike, Dark Knight, Sean: REBEL!!

Rebel: IT WASN’T ME DAMN IT!!

Metabad and Majin: YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

*Shortly after the Whale King emerges from the watery depths below, still in one piece.*

Void: *with a clipboard* All righty, status report.

Sean: Lost one of the engines.

Void: *throws the board down* God damn it, we’ve already had an epilogue with us having engine failure! We don’t need another!

Outlaw: *dabbling feet in the water* Hey, we didn’t crash though. We’re just stuck in the water.

Void: And we’ve already had an epilogue with us stranded in the middle of the ocean!

Dark Knight: Methinks we need a better writer for these epilogues…

*Everyone turns to Rebel, who is hunched over writing this very epilogue*

Rebel: What!?

Shadowstrike: Can we do anything else other than complain?

Everyone else: NO!!

Shadowstrike: …:'(

Void: Anyway… *picks the clipboard back up* Everyone who isn’t here, say here.

*No one answers.*

Void: Good. Now let’s start repairing this sucker and get a move on.

Majin: deeeh meetas ain’t here!

Void: *breaks the clipboard* Darn it all, now we have to go find him!

Rebel: Whaddya mean, “darn it all”!? Metabad is a highly valued and highly respected member of this team!

Shadowstrike: He breaks stuff.

Rebel: You break stuff.

Sean: Also all he does is say annoying stuff.

Rebel: You say annoying stuff.

Void: PBX was annoying too, and you hated him. Why do you like Metabad so much?

Rebel: You like Metabad so much.

Void: Don’t shove words in my mouth!

Rebel: You shove words in your mouth.

Outlaw: Aw, c’mon guys, let’s be civil, ‘kay? We can’t leave one of our pals behind.

Dark Knight: Yeah, after all, who am I gonna beat up? Or help me gang up on Sean?

Sean: Hmm… maybe we really shouldn’t look for him…

Rebel: NO WE FIND HIM NOW!! *kicks Sean off the ship*

Sean: AAAAHHHHHHH!! *sinks into the water*

Void: DAMN IT WE DID THIS BEFORE TOO!!

*As the team starts searching for the missing Metabad… well, let’s just take a look as to where he is, shall we?*

Metabad: Whoooooooooooooo… I’m feelin’ kinda funny! Not rawkin. *spits a fish out mouth* Hey that rawks! *rawks but stops* But no one is here to rawk with me… BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Ghost: BOOOOOOOO!!

Metabad: AHHHHH A GHOST!! *swipes at it only for his hand to pass through* GO AWAY MR. BOOSTER I DON’T GOT NO MONEY!!

Ghost: *stops and blinks* Are you stupid or something, kid?

Metabad: Hey I’m not stupid! I was given a trophy for diligence, ya know!

Ghost: Riiiight… Anyway, I take it you’re here to stop Dracula?

Metabad: Le-huh?

Ghost: Le-huh? LE-HUH!? C’mon kid, you’re at freakin’ Castlevania for crying outloud! And Dracula was just revived for God knows how many times now… this has to be like, what, ressurection #325?

Metabad: Sounds like a cool dude I know named Siggy! He keeps on dying and dying and no matter what he just keeps on coming back and is weirder and weirder and he has some pal named Zero and he dies a lot too and I dunno I think they may be related or something I mean I hear they shared the same virus speaking of which I once caught a cold and gave it everyone I knew and we all got sick hey maybe I’m related to all of those people now but that means that everyone rawks and that can’t be because only me and Rebel rawk ’cause we’re the one and only Super Awesome Fighting Force–

Ghost: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

Metabad: BUT I WAS ONTO SOMETHING THERE!!

Ghost: No, seriously, no one cares about your freaking theories.

Metabad: I WAS TRYING TO RAAAAAAAAAAWK!!

Ghost: Uh-huh. Anyway, go beat Dracula already!

Metabad: Why?

Ghost: Because it’s your duty! Aren’t you the next Belmont?

Metabad: I’m Metabad!

Ghost: Yeah, you’re bad all right. Really fucking bad.

Metabad: Mr. Booster, I don’t think I like you very much!

Ghost: Join the crowd. Anyway, if you aren’t a Belmont then what are you doing here?

Metabad: Noooooooo, it’s my turn to ask a question! What are YOU doing here? Huh huh huh!?

Ghost: *sighs*

Metabad: Yeah, you can’t beat that, can you Mr. Booster? It’s ’cause I rawk! *rawks*

Ghost:: STOP IT WITH THE RAWKING OF THE RAWKNESSNESS…NESS.

Metabad: Awww.

Ghost: Look, I dunno what happened to the Belmonts, but you are gonna have to do. If you don’t stop Dracula, he’ll take over the world!

Metabad: Lotsa people seem to like doing that lately. Maybe we should take over the world too!

Ghost: And I’ll be sure to stab you in the back.

Metabad: IT’S A PROMISE!!

Ghost: Look kid, it goes like this… every hundred years or so Dracula is revived. Then some shmuck from the Belmont lineage comes in and kicks his ass. Then a hundred years later he revives, another Belmont defeats him, and so and so forth. It’s a never ending cycle.

Metabad: Hmm… sounds easy to me!

Ghost: But you need a whip. *hands him one* Not the exact one the Belmonts use, but meh, it’ll do.

Metabad: Rawksome! *starts whipping it about* Whip it, huh! Whip it good!

Ghost: Hey dumbass, be careful where you whip that thing–*gets whipped*–FUCK!! *dies*

Metabad: Whoa. I totally defied logic with that… I RAWK!! *rawks*

*And thus Metabad enters the castle only known as… Castlevania. Seriously, who comes up with these names? Oh well.*

Metabad: It’s dark and angsty and dank and angsty and cold and angsty angsty angsty.

Death: *appears out of nowhere* Damn straight.

Metabad: WAAAAAAH IT’S EMO!!

Death: That’s Death, damn it!

Metabad: Death? How emooooooo.

Death: You’re even more annoying than the last stereotypical hero wielding a whip was!

Metabad: Hey I’m not annoying! I’m also awesome and kick lots of booty!

Death: I can’t even respond to that retarded statement.

Metabad: YEAH THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT!!

Death: Whatever… are you the next Belmont to try and stop my master?

Metabad: Whoa, master? MASTER!? Masssssster.

Death: …

Metabad: *more incoherent gibberish*

Death: *whacks Metabad upside the head*

Metabad: OUCHIES! *rubs head* That wasn’t very nice, Mr. Emo!

Death: That’s DEATH, damn it! You know, the Grim Reaper? I kill people for a living!

Metabad: Do you also cut yourself on your spare time?

Death: Why do you think I carry this giant scythe around–NO!!!!

Metabad: I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!!! *points and laughs*

Death: ENOUGH!! I’ve got supper. I HAVE TO GO!! *leaves*

Metabad: That must be a big dinner!

*Metabad, having no idea what he was doing, let alone where he was going, starts to explore the castle. Elsewhere…*

Dark Knight: *staples a flier to a tree* Think this’ll work?

Sean: If it doesn’t work then I’ll eat my hat.

Dark Knight: But you haven’t got a hat.

Sean: Could be worse. *shocks self*

Dark Knight: Did… did you just shock yourself?

Sean: I did. It’s starting to actually feel kinda good…

Dark Knight: …Freak.

Void: *flies in* Got those fliers out yet?

Sean: Yep, that was the last one.

Void: Good, me and Outlaw just finished our own batch.

Outlaw: Hey guys…

Void: Yes Outlaw?

Outlaw: I don’t mind putting up fliers to search for Meta dude, but why do they all say “WANTED: Dead or Alive”?

Sean: Er, well that’s because…

Dark Knight: Yeah, and speaking of which, why does it then say in parenthesis, “(Preferably dead)”?

Void: Now that you mention it, I never put that in there…

Shadowstrike: *comes running with Rebel and Majin in tow* Hey guys, we’ve got a mob of angry people chasing us.

Outlaw: Why’s that?

Rebel: They said they don’t like those stupid fliers! Speaking of which, who here would make such an awful joke to kill Metabad!?

*Everyone stares at Sean*

Sean: I WAS JUST SPRUCING IT UP A BIT, OKAY!?

Majin: dun dun dunnnnnnn

*Back with Metabad*

Metabad: *swinging around with the whip* WHEEEEEEEEE!! I’M INDIANA METABAD!! *slips and flies into a skeleton, killing it*

Monsters: He killed one of our undead brethren! GET HIM!!

Metabad: W00T!! *bolts down the hallway*

Zombie: GRAGH!! *gets trampled by the stampeding Metabad*

Metabad: Hay, wait, I’ve got powerz. I can just climb the walls!

*Using his “powerz”, Metabad starts jumping from wall to wall, barreling into bats, witches, demons, and all other sorts of flying creatures as he climbs upward. As he reaches the top, however, a fireball comes out of nowhere and hits him, causing him to land on some nearby steps.*

Metabad: Owwie…

Gaibon: LMAO WAT A N00B!!1

Metabad: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?

Slogra: You must forgive my friend Gaibon here. He is not well in the head.

Gaibon: STFU SLOGRA U FUK LOL!!!11one1

Metabad: LOL!!

Slogra: *smacks self* Please do not copy his vulgar behavior, I beg of you.

Metabad: So liek, what’s up with you d00dz?

Gaibon: nm jc u?

Metabad: I’m on a magical quest to defeat Dracula using this whip! *flings it around*

Slogra: Gracious, please be careful with that thing! You could hurt us with that, you know.

Metabad: Sowwy. Why is it that you baddies are so weak to a leather whip?

Slogra: Hmm… not certain why. I guess you could say we are just pussies.

Gaibon: LOL PUSSIES MOAR LIEK UR MUMS FTW!!11one111

Slogra: Gaibon! Do not disrespect my mother like that again!

Gaibon: FOOSE U ASSHAT I PWN J00!!1one1eleven11

Slogra: Enough is enough! *pulls out spear and stabs Gaibon with it*

Gaibon: OMGWTFBBQ THAT HURT U L4M3R!! *sets Slogra on fire*

Slogra: ARRRGH!!

*The two monsters continue to beat the crap out of each other until they both die.*

Metabad: *too busy rawking to even notice*

*Back with the rest of the CIA*

Sean: Guys, I found Metabad!

Rebel: Really!?

Sean: Yep, here he is.

*Sean brings in an old, sweaty hillbilly with a pair of antlers attached to his head.*

Hillbilly: I’m Flame Stag. Ayup.

Void: Uh… Sean…

Outlaw: *sniffs the hillbilly* Hm… good year…

Rebel: …

Sean: What? I found him!

Shadowstrike: Yeah, you found a real obvious fake.

Sean: What do you know?

Dark Knight: Enough to see through your lame attempts to get rid of Metabad!

Majin: *enters the room and sees the hillbilly* …u guyz dont want majjy no more?? *tears up and runs off*

Void: Majin, don’t run away! *chases after*

Sean: In the end all that matters is Rebel’s opinion. What do you say, Rebel?

Rebel: I’ve only got one question for you, Flame Stag… IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME!!

Shadowstrike: Rebel?

Rebel: Do you know how to rawk?

Hillbilly: I’m Flame Stag. Ayup.

Rebel: Eh, works for me. *rawks*

Shadowstrike and Dark Knight: *smacks self*

Sean: *scratches head* Ehehehehe…

*Back to the real action*

Metabad: *walking around* Maaaaaaaaaaaaan, this place is BORING!! Where’re all the cool bosses that I can beat up and rawk to and stuffs?

Medusa: *breaks out from the ground* SURPRISE BITCHES!!

Metabad: oshi–

Medusa: *sends out legions of Medusa Heads at Metabad*

Metabad: All right, it’s time to rawk. *puts on a pair of shades and proceeds to dodge all of the incoming Medusa Heads*

Medusa: Bet you think you’re pretty bad, huh!?

Metabad: Well, I am Metabad.

Medusa: SCREW YOU!! I’LL TURN YOU TO STONE!!

Metabad: I’m gonna get stoned!? Rawksome!

Medusa: Not stoned, STONE!!

Metabad: Why turn me to stone? Getting stoned would be so much cooler!

Medusa: Huh?

Metabad: Like, you could totally make big bucks by getting people stoned and you could become infamous and be all like “Whooo I’m rich” C’MON THINK ABOUT THE POSSIBILITIES DUDE!!

Medusa: Hmm… no. *turns Metabad to stone*

Metabad: *is stone now*

Medusa: Annoying brat! *summons two Medusa Heads* Take him away!

Medusa Head #1: How?

Medusa: What do you mean, “How?”!? By moving him!

Medusa Head #2: Alas, we are but heads. We cannot comply with this command.

Medusa: WORTHLESS DOLTS!!

*Medusa destroys the two Medusa Heads and takes Metabad herself to the basement, where his stoned form is chained up, meant to stay for all eternity. Medusa then leaves. A few hours later, however…*

Metabad: *is free from the stone* RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAWK POWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! *notices he is chained* Not rawkin.

*Try as he might, Metabad is incapable of breaking free.*

Metabad: Man, what I totally need right now is a useful plot device!

Slogra: Speak and your wish shall be granted!

Gaibon: LOL UR A FUGLY GENIE SLOGRA!!1

Metabad: Hay its the weird guys! Are you gonna help me get outta here?

Slogra: But of course.

Metabad: RAWKSOME!! …Say, why are you helping me anyway? I’m trying to kill your masssster.

Slogra: Well, it wouldn’t be very polite to leave you chained up in this dank place, now would it?

*The two monsters free Metabad from his prison. Afterwards the three have a “heartfelt” conversation.*

Metabad: Oh yeah, didn’t you guys like kill each other earlier?

Gaibon: LMFAO U NUB WE CANT DIE WTF!!!1one1

Metabad: COOL!! So does that mean that I can’t die either?

Slogra: No, you still die.

Metabad: Boooo.

*At this moment a skeleton guard enters the prison and notices Metabad is free.*

Skeleton: What the–!? THE PRISONER WITH THE WHIP IS FREE OH GOD HE’S FREE!! *runs off*

Slogra: Well… that complicates things.

Medusa: *bursts in through the wall* WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!? *notices Metabad, Slogra, and Gaibon* You… AND YOU!! And you, too!

Gaibon: OMG UR SUCH A ST00PID L0Z3R U JUST FIGURED IT OUT LOL!!11

Medusa: I’LL KILL YOU!! *charges*

Slogra: *pushes Metabad out of the room* Go! We’ll handle this!

Metabad: OKAY!! *takes off at full speed*

Slogra: H-hey! You were supposed to stop me–*gets tackled*

Gaibon: SLOGRA SUX DIX!!1one1eleven *gets pulverised by several Medusa Heads*

*During this whole mess, the rest of the CIA was trying to readjust now that “Metabad” was found.*

Dark Knight: So, uh… Flame Stag… wanna gang up on Sean with me?

Hillbilly: I’m Flame Stag. Ayup.

Dark Knight: …

Outlaw: Y’know, it just doesn’t feel the same.

Void: What in the world gave that away? The fact we’ve got some hillbilly wearing antlers in our ship, the real Metabad is still missing, or Majin has locked himself up in his room and refuses to come out?

Majin: *in his room* WAAAAAAAAAAAH NOBODY LOVES MAJJY NO MORESSSSS!!

Outlaw: It’s probably a combination of those three… maybe.

Shadowstrike: Juuust maybe.

Rebel: *drinking a coke* Hey, don’t forget the fact that Metabad suddenly isn’t rawking anymore!

Void: Rebel, this guy ISN’T METABAD!

Rebel: Then why does he call himself Flame Stag all the time? Huh!? ANSWER THAT!!

Hillbilly: I’m Flame Stag. Ayup.

Void: *sighs*

Sean: *enters whistling a tune* Hey all!

Everyone else: …

Sean: What’s with the silent treatment?

Dark Knight: *dismissive* Nothing.

Sean: You’re not going to shock me?

Dark Knight: You seem fine doing it to yourself.

Sean: Ouch, you wound me. Oh well. *to “Metabad”* How’s it going old pal?

Hillbilly: I’m Flame Stag. Ayup.

Sean: Glad to hear it! *pats “Metabad” on the back* At least you don’t say words that don’t need to be spoken anymore!

Rebel: Wait, Sean getting along with Metabad… *drops soda*

Shadowstrike: *gasps* You dropped your soda!

Rebel: Shadowstrike, get the mop, and everyone, I’VE JUST COME TO A STARTLING CONCLUSION!!

Void: Which is…?

Rebel: *points at the hillbilly* THAT GUY IS AN IMPOSTER!!

Outlaw, Void, Shadowstrike, Dark Knight: *face palms*

Sean: Aw crud.

*Back in Castlevania, Metabad was rapidly reaching the top of the castle, to where Dracula was located. In fact he wasn’t very far away…*

Metabad: *looking at a map* According to this map, I’m not very far away! All I need to do is go through this suspiciously large room which is in no way going to start a boss battle and then climb the mandatory long flight of stairs to reach Dracula’s room! Rawksome! *rawks*

*Thus Metabad continues his trek to Dracula, going through the large room.*

Metabad: La la la la~! *skipping* No way is some big bad boss gonna stop me!

Death: *hits Metabad with his scythe*

Metabad: OW!! *has the scythe stuck in chest* Why is there a giant knife sticking out of my chest? OH GOD!! MAYBE I’M MADE OF KNIVES!? AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Death: Don’t be stupid, stupid. That’s my scythe. *rips it out*

Metabad: Oh. Whew, I was scared for a moment!

Death: Whatever. Anyway, I’m surprised you made it this far, but your luck as run out.

Metabad: It has? But what about those lottery tickets I bought? Was it all for naught? Hey that rhymed! *rawks*

Death: STOP IT!! Please, just stop… rawking… or whatever it is that you are doing. Can’t you just be serious for a moment?

Metabad: Noooooope. This world needs more rawkin, and I plan to supply it!

Death: The world does, eh? Then I’ll kill you so this world can rot!

Metabad: *gasps* You are an evil man, Emo!

Death: First off, I’m not a man, I’m a skeleton wearing a cloak, and second MY NAME ISN’T FUCKING EMO!!

Metabad: Do you poop cups?

Death: …Say what?

Metabad: Rebel once told me that all emo kids poop cups at Starbucks. I have no idea what he meant by that though!

Death: THAT’S IT!! I’m sick of this nonsense!

Metabad: YEAH SICK OF THIS NONSENSE!! Hey, wait a sec, you aren’t Rebel! YOU FAKER!!

Death: *summons several mini scythes and flings them at Metabad*

Metabad: WHOOOOP!! *dodges them all*

Death: DIE!! *swings scythe at Metabad*

Metabad: *jumps over Death*

Death: Stay still!

Metabad: Nuh-uh, you have to make me!

Death: Fine. *creates a chained barrier surrounding himself and Metabad*

Metabad: Oooh, cool.

Death: *flings scythe at Metabad*

Metabad: *dodges* Is that all you’ve got?

Death: *laughs* Not at all!

*As Metabad was focusing on Death, the scythe that the grim reaper threw bounced off the chains and was heading back at Metabad, his back turned. Was this the end of our beloved hero!?*

Metabad: *looks down* OH MY GOD A PENNY!! *bends down to pick it up*

Death: WHAT IN THE–*gets hit by the scythe instead*–GAAAAAAAAAGH!! *falls to the ground*

Metabad: *gets back up* Huh? What happened?

Death: Damn it, how could you beat me!? I HATE YOU!!

Metabad: I won? I WON!! FOR THE POWER OF RAWKNESS!! *rawks*

Death: DID YOU JUST HEAR ME!? I SAID I HATE YOU!! I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE YOU!!

Metabad: Hating isn’t very nice, Emo!

Death: SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP!! IT’S DEATH DAMN YOU!! DEEEEEAAAAAAATH!!

Metabad: Quit whining, Emo! It’s getting annoying!

Death: STOP CALLING ME EMOOOO YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND ME OR MY PAAAAAAAAIN!! *cuts self*

Metabad: Whatever you say, Emo! *leaves* Now for Dracula!

*Metabad takes off and climbs up the traditional stairway to Dracula’s room, finally reaching the door. Taking a deep breath he enters to find a coffin with it’s lid removed. Next to it stood a man drinking what appeared to be blood from a wine glass.*

Dracula: Hmph, so you are the one I’ve heard so much about…

Metabad: That’s me!

Dracula: Metabad Belmont…

Metabad: That’s not me!

Dracula: You dare deny it? Here you are, trying to foil my plans, wielding a whip at that! You are like the rest of the Belmonts, therefore that makes you a Belmont!

Metabad: Ooookaaaay…

Dracula: So what are you going to do now, Metabad? Try and stop me?

Metabad: YOU BET!! *flails the whip about*

Dracula: Hah! That whip is not even the true Vampire Killer! I will enjoy toying with you.

*Tossing his glass away, Dracula begins to teleport about, attacking Metabad with various fireballs as he does so. Although Metabad manages to land a couple hits with his whip, he finds that it is not enough and begins to tire.*

Metabad: *pants*

Dracula: *appears before Metabad* Hah! How utterly weak. Now is the time to finish you, once and for all!

Slogra: NOT SO FAST!! *stabs Dracula*

Dracula: Graagh!

Gaibon: LOL PWNT! *blasts Dracula with fire*

Dracula: Urrrgh!! *disappears*

Slogra: Are you okay, good sir?

Metabad: Hey it’s the nice monsters! I thought you guys were finished.

Slogra: Yeah, especially after the part where you ABANDONED US.

Metabad: Hey!

Gaibon: STFU GIES WE NEED TO GET SERBROUF!!

Metabad: What the heck does serbrouf mean!?

Slogra: Not now… Dracula! Have at you!

Dracula: *reappears* You traitors. I will kill you all permanently!

Slogra: Not this time! Because I’ve got this! *pulls out a lantern*

Dracula: *reels back from the light* You dare bring light into my lair? YOU MUST DIE!! *kills Slogra*

Gaibon: O.O

Dracula: *kills Gaibon too*

Metabad: NUUUUUUUUUUU!! How dare you kill my buddies! You’ll pay for that! *hits Dracula with his whip*

Dracula: OW!! No, not the whip and the light!! IT BUUUURNS!!

*With that Dracula collapses and starts to disappear. Que victory fanfare as Metabad begins to rawk in celebration. Before Dracula completely disappears, however, he does say one last thing…*

Dracula: I’ll be back. *dies*

Metabad: *stops rawking* What a way to kill the mood.

*Suddenly Castlevania starts shaking violently! With Dracula’s defeat, the entire complex begins to fall apart. Using his super speed and reflexes, Metabad manages to break out of the castle unharmed as he watches the building collapse into a pile of rubble. Que more victory fanfare and rawking.*

Metabad: *rawks sawks awff*

Void: Metabad!

Metabad: Whozzat?

*Metabad turns around sees the Whale King and the rest of the CIA in the distance! His mission now complete, Metabad goes home and relays his amazing tale to his friends.*

Metabad: And then he was all “STOP CALLING ME EMOOOO YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND ME OR MY PAAAAAAAAIN!!” and proceeded to cut himself! It was so funny!

Rebel: HAH!! I knew that guy was always emo! That explains the scythe!

Outlaw: It sounds like you went on a wild ride, Meta dude! Kinda reminds me of the adventure that me and DK had!

Dark Knight: Except no one believes us.

Outlaw: i no rite?

Void: *shakes head* Well, at least your back safe and sound. We’ve been looking for you for a while with mixed results.

Majin: teh pplz treid 2 replace us!!

Metabad: Huh?

Void: Oh yeah, I believe SOMEONE has an apology to make.

Sean: *grumbles*

Shadowstrike: I was confused myself. Why were you trying to get rid of Metabad?

Sean: Because you kept messing with my curse! So I decided I’d show you all! THAT’S WHY!! ARE YOU HAPPY!?

Dark Knight: But weren’t you into shocking yourself now?

Sean: Are you kidding? That was a ploy! IT STILL HURTS!!

Metabad: Well it could always be worse!

Sean: *shocked* OW!!

Dark Knight: Too true… it could always, ALWAYS be much, MUCH worse!

Sean: *is hit by a bolt of lightning so hard he goes flying off the ship* NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Rebel: …

Shadowstrike: …

Majin: …

Outlaw: …

Metabad: …

Void: …

Dark Knight: …Oops?

Void: NOT AGAIN!!

Metabad: Some things just never change. *pulls out his trusty whip* And for those things, you’ve just gotta rawk.

The End

 

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