New and Improved

*Written by Rebel4000*

*The story this time takes place in the countryside. We see the X-Hunters walking down a dirt road with Agile carrying a large sack of money, coming up to an old barn with a bunch of junk lying in front of it. Next to all of this is a crudely made sign that has the words “Yard Sale” written on it.*

Agile: *drops the bags of money and stretches* All right! We’re here!

Violen: HOORAY!!

Serges: *takes hat off to scratch head* When I said we needed to buy upgrades I had something a little… different in mind.

Agile: Aw, c’mon, Serges. We always look in the trash for our power-ups. This time around… IT’S A FEAST!!

Serges: It’s a yard sale.

Agile: A FEAST!!

Violen: *squeals in delight* OH MY GOD IT’S AN “I LOVE LUCY” STOP WATCH!!

Serges: …So?

Violen: They only made about ten in the whole world!

Serges: …So?

Violen: Aaaand it’s about $300.

Serges: …So?

Violen: …Can we get it? *gets bitchslapped*

Serges: Do you think this is some sort of game, Violen!? We found that money and planned to use it to buy upgrades, not novelties! Isn’t that right, Agile…

Agile: *holding a hula hoop* Absolutely.

Serges: …

Agile: …Aw. *gets bitchslapped*

Serges: ENOUGH!! I am going to look for something that can be useful, so I want you two to keep an eye on the money for me.

Violen: Bwuh? Why would you want us to watch the money? *stares at the “I Love Lucy” stop watch longingly before getting bitchslapped again*

Serges: The reason is because I want to still have single shred of faith in you two buffoons.

Violen: Ohhh.

Serges: Got that? Now go wait in the car.

Agile and Violen: But–

Serges: NO BUTS!! *stomps off*

Violen: …We have a car?

Agile: No clue.

Old Man: *appears out of nowhere* ‘Ey there, sonnies! Might I be interestin’ you fine lads inta purchasin’ one o’ these items? *points at his small selection*

Agile: Um… well, actually we are just watching the money for our friend…

Old Man: Oh, don’ be silly now, youngin’s! Take a looky at tis fine piece o’ merchanise I gots here…

*The old man bends over and pulls up a strange looking object. It appeared to be a hat of some sort, blue in color with some light blue highlights. In the middle rested a red jewel which carried with it an atmosphere of both dread and temptation.*

Violen: *drooling* W-what is that…?

Old Man: *completely unaffected* ‘Tis be what they call the “Demon Crown”. ‘Twas found excavated in some ruins or other. I don’t pay much attention to ta details meself! *laughs*

Agile: *breathless* How much do you want for it?

Old Man: *grins* …How much ye got?

*Later that day, back in the X-Hunter’s base of operations, the local pizza shop’s dumpster…*

Serges: So, let me get this straight… I left the money with you two to watch it… I put my faith in you two… and you went off and bought a WHAT!?

Agile: *cowering* W-we bought a crown! A d-d-demon crown!

Violen: *sobbing* We couldn’t refuse! *gets hit in the face with the crown* Oof!

Serges: *breathing heavily* You… two… ARE COMPLETE MORONS!! All of that money… wasted on this!? *picks up the crown* DO YOU THINK WE CAN BEAT THE ISLAND ATTACKERS WITH THIS!?

Violen: Maybe if you throw it at them like you did to me we can–*gets hit in the face again* WAAAAAAAH!!

Agile: *trying to be calm* Now, now, Serges, let’s not blow this out of proportion… We’ve been defeated so many times now, should we even care if we always come out at the bottom?

Serges: *glares* YOU!!

Agile: Huh?

Serges: It’s THAT kind of attitude why we are always losing!

Agile: WHAT!?

Serges: And YOU!! *points at Violen*

Violen: *crying hysterically* M-m-m-me!?

Serges: You are WORTHLESS!! Always crying! We’d do better without you! Heck, I’d do better without EITHER OF YOU!!

Agile: S-Serges… come on… Don’t be like this…

Serges: SHUT UP!! THE X-HUNTERS ARE THROUGH AGILE!!

Violen: *screams* NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Agile: You can’t do this! What about all we’ve been through together!? Are you going to let it all go to waste!?

Serges: …

Agile: Well?

Serges: Yes.

*Serges kicks the two out of the dumpster.*

Serges: AND STAY OUT!! *slams the lid*

Violen: *sniff* I wish Lucy was here. She’d make everything better.

Agile: Oh, get over it.

*Back inside the dumpster*

Serges: *calming down* Feh… stupid idiots! *mockingly* “Let’s waste all of our money on a stupid crown!” Crown my ass… *picks it up and looks at it* Hmph. What’s so special about this… Demon Crown, was it? Well, it looks like it could be a nice replacement for this old hat of mine. Might as well not waste it.

*Serges takes off his old hat and places the Demon Crown on. He then turns to look into a broken mirror.*

Serges: Hmm… not too bad if I do say so myself! It certainly does give me a regal look… Hah! Like that’d ever happen… not with idiots like those always ruining my life… If only… if only I could have some competent help! Someone out there who could help assist my brilliant plans to crush the Island Attackers and finally regain my lost status! Someone who could get me out of this blasted dumpster! If only…

*Before Serges can continue the dumpster he is in begins to shake violently.*

Serges: W-what the!? Is it Thursday already!? HOLD ON!! SOMEONE IS IN HERE!! HEEEELP!!

*With those words the dumpster explodes, causing Serges, along with Agile and Violen who were standing outside, to go flying.*

Serges, Agile, Violen: *hits the floor* Ugh…

???: Did you summon me?

Serges: *gets up slowly* Urgh… say what…?

*Serges looks at the source of the voice. What was before him appeared to be a young, pale-skinned woman floating gently in the air.*

Serges: What in the world!?

Misery: My name is Misery. I have been summoned here by the Demon Crown that you bear.

Serges: Demon Crown…? You mean the thing on my head summoned you!?

Misery: …Yes.

Serges: …Very interesting! And what happened to the dumpster, was that your doing? From it shaking to then exploding?

Misery: Yes, I am a witch, you see. Such a feat is mere child’s play for one such as myself.

Serges: *excited* So I would assume that by being summoned by this crown, the bearer has some sort of ownership over you?

Misery: I suppose you could say that… Whatever you want I will do.

Serges: *laughs* Excellent! My name is Serges and starting today… I am your master!

Misery: …

Agile: *gets back up* Man… What did I tell ya, Serges? It looks like with that Demon Crown, victory is ours after all, huh!?

Violen: We can actually win for once!

Serges: Ohohohohohoho. That is what you think.

Agile and Violen: Eh?

Serges: Oh Misery? Could you do me a favor?

Misery: Yes?

Serges: For your first task… I want you to take care of those two! *points at Agile and Violen*

Agile and Violen: Huh!?

Misery: As you wish.

Agile: H-hold up! Serges! What’re you doing!?

Serges: What am I doing? I’m cleaning up the trash!

Violen: *getting teary-eyed* DON’T DO THIS PLEEEEASE!!

Serges: And why should I? As far as I’m concerned… you two are dead!

Violen: *bursts into a torrent of tears* SERGES HATES UUUUUUUSSSSS!!

Serges: Enough of this nonsense! Misery, finish them off!

Misery: I have a better idea. BALROG!! GET OVER HERE NOW!!

Serges, Agile, Violen: Who?

???: Huzzah!!

*A large, gray, rectangular-shaped object falls from the sky, landing between the two groups. On his face is a big, goofy smile.*

Balrog: Hey-o, everyone! The name’s Balrog. Pleased to meet ya!

Misery: Balrog, a new master has appeared bearing the Demon Crown. You know what that means, do you not?

Balrog: Huh? Oh yeah, ‘course I do! So, what, I’ve gotta take care of these guys? *turns to face Agile and Violen*

Misery: Bingo. Make sure you don’t make it too messy.

Agile: Wait. Our opponent is some giant microwave?

Violen: I thought it was a television…

Serges: *to himself* Looks like a lunchbox to me.

Balrog: *proudly* What am I? Who knows! I don’t even think I know.

Violen: That’s confusing.

Balrog: Which is why I don’t think about it!

Violen: Works for me!

Agile: Me too! …I guess.

Balrog: Anyway, I’m gonna have to kill you two now. Bye! *fires a missile at Violen*

Violen: EEEEK!! *gets caught in the explosion*

Agile: VIOLEN!!

Violen: *badly injured* The missile hurts, Agile!

Agile: *pulls out his saber* You… box-thing! You’ll pay for that!

Balrog: Bring it on! *jumps into the air and starts dropping various projectiles*

Agile: *dodging the objects* Hah! Is that the best you can do!?

Balrog: Nope. *lands on top of Agile, crushing him*

Agile: Gaaack!! *coughs up fluid*

Serges: *claps* Bravo! Encore, encore!

Balrog: Hmm… okay! *gets back up and falls on Agile again*

Agile: Guuuh!! *coughs some more*

Misery: I see you can do something right once in a great while, Balrog.

Balrog: …Misery! Now that I think of it… why didn’t you do this? Did you make me do the hard work? WHY DO I ALWAYS DO THE HARD WORK!?

Serges: *standing before Agile* I said that we were through and I meant it! Yes… starting now I am establishing a new team of worthy, competent fighters! We shall be known as the New X-Hunters, as a symbol to show how improved we are over the old, worthless trash.

Agile: That’s a low blow, man…

Serges: Like I care!

Misery: Should we finish them off now, master?

Serges: Hmm… Actually, forget them for now. I have something I want to do while they are still breathing!

Balrog: Oooh, sounds kinky.

Serges: Come! Balrog, Misery… we depart at once!

*The three members of the New X-Hunters thus vanish into thin air thanks to Misery’s magic.*

Agile: *gets up once more* Ow… that thing nearly broke my back… Violen! Get up! We have to chase after them! We have to bring Serges back to his senses!

Violen: How? We don’t even know where they’re going, Agile…

Agile: There is only one thing that Serges would want us to see before killing us off…

*Nearby, at the Code: Island Attacker’s personal Whale King…*

Dark Knight: MORTAL KOOOOOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!! *tackles Metabad*

Metabad: DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!! *pulls out his whip and hits DK with it*

Dark Knight: *pulls out a bubble wand and blows some bubbles*

Metabad: *screams and faints*

Void: *sticks his head out of the lab* What in the world is going on out there!?

Shadowstrike: *runs up next to Void* Well, it’s kinda like pay-per view, but better.

Rebel: *with a can of Coke* Damn straight.

Dark Knight: *faces Majin* MORTAL KOOOOOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!! *rushes toward him*

Majin: Huh? *gets rammed and goes flying over the couch*

Outlaw: *hiding behind the couch, nawing on a bug* You okay there, Majin?

Majin: I… I think I need a drink…

Shadowstrike: *runs up next to Majin* Yeah, y’know, I haven’t seen you really drunk for a while.

Majin: There’s just been… a lot to think about.

Sean: *sitting on the couch* Don’t let it affect you too much, though. It could interfere with your fighting skills.

Dark Knight: Could be worse.

Sean: *gets shocked* That could, too.

Void: While you guys are busy making absolute nonsense, I think I’m gonna head back into my lab now… *walks away*

Rebel: *finishes his can and crushes it* Pfft, what a party-pooper. Oh well. C’mon, Metabad. *nudges Metabad*

Metabad: *still unconcious* …

Rebel: Metabad?

Metabad: …

Rebel: Ohhh, I get it. Playing dead. Good call, dude, good call…

*At that moment the ship’s alarm begins to sound off*

Shadowstrike: Argh, what is with that noise?

Sean: That’s the intruder alarm! Someone is… intruding!

Shadowstrike: That makes… a lot of sense.

Void: *comes out of his lab* I just can’t get any peace and quiet around here! What’s going on?

Sean: As I’ve already stated, there must be an intruder intruding because the intruder alarm is going off.

Dark Knight: Well, where is he? I’ll murderlize him!

Sean: According to the chart the intruder has just landed on the deck… in other words he is intruding on the deck. Because he’s an intruder.

Shadowstrike: Stop with the annoying puns.

Sean: Quit intruding into my personal space!

Outlaw: *looking at the chart* The guy doesn’t seem too hostile.

Void: We can’t be certain of that.

Dark Knight: Yes, yes, I agree. We should definitely go out there with both guns blazing.

Metabad: What if it’s just a ship-to-ship salesman?

Dark Knight: A ship-to-ship salesman? Are you stupid?

Metabad: HEY!! I know you and your trick questions! So I say… yes! I AM STUPID!!

Dark Knight: Explains so much…

Rebel: Enough. Let’s just go out there and tell this fool to get off of our ship. I don’t have time to deal with this.

Shadowstrike: Wow. Serious Rebel is serious.

Rebel: I am always serious when it comes to ship-to-ship salesmen. They are almost as bad as Pepsi!

Everyone else: *sighs*

*The team sets the ship on auto-pilot as they all head toward the deck. When they reach their destination, however, they find the place to be deserted.*

Dark Knight: What? There’s no one here? What a ripoff!

Sean: You are way too eager to fight.

Dark Knight: Could be worse.

Sean: *shocked* That isn’t funny anymore!

Void: It is a tad strange, though…

Outlaw: Maybe the alarm is faulty?

Void: Maybe…

Rebel: Whatevz. Let’s head back in, guys.

*The team turns around and begins to walk away. Before they can reach the door, however…*

???: Leaving before you even arrived?

Void: That voice! *turns around*

Majin: Could it be…?

Serges: That’s right, it is I, Serges!

Sean: What’re you doing here!?

Serges: Why, I thought I’d just drop by to visit. *smiles wickedly*

Outlaw: I’d place my bet that he’s the reason why the alarm went off!

Serges: You wound me, Island Attackers. Am I really all that suspicious?

Sean: Yes, because you are an intruder. *gets punched* Ow! What was that for!?

Shadowstrike: Sorry. I thought you were going to do more puns.

Serges: Always beating each other up? What typical Island Attackers behavior!

Void: *quietly* Something isn’t right. Where’s Agile and Violen? Serges wouldn’t come alone…

Dark Knight: Who cares!? All I know is that his ass is GRASS!!

*Dark Knight lunges forward with his energy pincers extended, preparing to skewer the old Reploid. Before he can reach him, however, he gets caught in multiple blasts from above, causing the CIA members to go flying back in pain!*

Dark Knight: Agh!!

Shadowstrike: What the!?

Metabad: WHAT’S GOING ON!?

Balrog: Huzzah! *drops down to Serges’ left* How’d you like them apples? I’m as cunning as a fox!

Misery: *appears next to Serges’ right* Now isn’t the time to kid, Balrog.

Balrog: I WASN’T KIDDING!!

Majin: Who’re those two?

Rebel: Just what’s your game, huh, X-Hunters!?

Serges: X-Hunters…? Oh yes, pardon me. The X-Hunters are no more!

CIA: WHAT!?

Serges: After dealing with those buffoons all these years, I decided to acquaint myself with real talent. I’d like you to meet my humble servants, Balrog and Misery! *gestures*

Balrog: ‘Sup?

Misery: …

Serges: Together, the three of us compose… THE NEW X-HUNTERS!!

Metabad: So, wait… the X-Hunters… become the New X-Hunters?

Serges: YES!!

Shadowstrike: Couldn’t you guys have at least been a bit more original with your name? Like the “Neo X-Hunters”?

Balrog: Neo?

Outlaw: Wait, wait, I got one! How about “X-Hunters: The Return”?

Balrog: That sounds like a movie! Say… wait… Neo… and movies… ARE YOU CALLING US MATRIX KNOCK-OFFS!?

Metabad: Ruh-roh, he caught us!

Serges: ENOUGH!! Island Attackers… I have waited for this day for so long… The day I finally crush you!

Rebel: Bring it on, Serges! You and your “New X-Hunters” are toast! Dark Knight, can you fight?

Dark Knight: *nursing wound* Yeah, just a scratch…

Rebel: Then let’s go! Island Attackers… TIME FOR AN X-HUNTER’S WHOOPING!!

Outlaw, Void, Majin, Shadowstrike, Metabad, Dark Knight, Sean: ALL RIGHT!!

Misery: *musing* This is no place for one such as the bearer of the Demon Crown. Let’s leave this to our “tank”.

*With a small chuckle, Misery casts a spell which causes Serges to levitate up into the air. Following suit, the two of them take off into the distance.*

Balrog: *sees them leaving* WHAAAAT!? MISERYYYY!! YOU DID IT AGAAAAIN!!

Sean: Does she ditch you a lot or something?

Balrog: Huh? Yeah, pretty much.

Outlaw: Aw, poor guy. Don’t worry though, I’m sure you’ll get your fair share one day.

Balrog: You’re right! All I need to do is work hard and do what I am supposed to and surely I will prove to be better than that girl!

Rebel: …

Balrog: …

Majin: …So, uh… what now?

Balrog: Hmm…

Dark Knight: I thought we were gonna fight.

Sean: You have a one-track mind.

Dark Knight: It could be–

Sean: *covers DK’s mouth* Don’t you dare finish that sentence.

Metabad: –Worse?

Sean: *gets shocked along with DK* YARGH!!

Shadowstrike: But no, seriously: What’re we gonna do now?

Balrog: Well, I guess I’ll just leave it up to you guys. Do you wanna fight me or not?

Void: Sure, why not?

Rebel: Yeah, after all, I did just yell my “TIME FOR AN X-HUNTER’S WHOOPING” battle cry. Are you guys gonna let that go to waste!?

Dark Knight: Nuh-uh!

Balrog: Okie-dokie then. Let’s do this!

*Balrog leaps into the air and starts dropping random projectiles below him. The moment they touch the ground they explode.*

Shadowstrike: *dodges one* Whoa! This guy has some power behind him! *dodges another*

Rebel: *teleporting nonstop* Gargh! Take this you little suitcase-looking freak! *throws a couple of Magnet Mines at Balrog*

Balrog: *sees the mines coming* Is that all ya got? *fires a pair of missiles at the mines, blowing them up*

Rebel: Rats! *gets hit by a projectile* Gah!!

Outlaw: Rebel! *shields him from more fire* Urgh!

Sean: *hiding under his shell* There’s no way for us to counter attack with all of these projectiles in the way!

Dark Knight: Pfft, try me! *fires streams of bubbles everywhere, destroying the projectiles before they make contact*

Balrog: *fires another missile at DK*

Dark Knight: I don’t think so!

*Dark Knight uses all of his strength to fire a large bubble at the incoming missile. The two of them make contact, resulting in the explosion to not connect.*

Dark Knight: All right! What’re you gonna do now, huh!?

Balrog: Well… I guess… I’m gonna… *smacks DK*

Dark Knight: Ow! Hey!

Metabad: BRAAAAAAAAAWL!! *runs up to Balrog and punches him in the face*

Balrog: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!! *takes off into the sky and plows into Metabad and Dark Knight*

Dark Knight: AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!

Metabad: WHEEEEEEEEEE!!

Void: Looks like this is all on me. *takes off into the air* To beat a flyer, just use a flyer!

Balrog: Hey, hey, hey! *drops Metabad and Dark Knight* You wanna try me!?

Void: Yeah! *fires a Silk Shot*

Balrog: *gets hit and is trapped in the silk* Whaa…

Void: *to Majin* Grab him with your chain! Quickly!

Majin: R-right! Strike Chain! *throws a chain toward Balrog but misses*

Void: MAJIN!!

Majin: I… I’m trying! *throws it again but misses* Damn it!

Balrog: Huh? Having some trouble?

Majin: …I need a beer.

Balrog: …Beer is bad for you.

Majin: Yes… I know.

Balrog: So why drink it?

Majin: Uh…

Balrog: *hits Majin with a missile*

Majin: AAAAGH!!

Shadowstrike: MAJIN!!

Majin: *goes flying through the exit door*

Balrog: Whoops. Hopefully he’ll be back. *to everyone else* Who’s up next!?

Outlaw: Me! *jumps into the air and spins rapidly towards Balrog*

Balrog: Whoa. That’s pretty cool. *stands still and watches*

Outlaw: *getting closer*

Balrog: *watches*

Outlaw: *getting closer*

Balrog: *watches*

Outlaw: *getting closer*

Balrog: *watches*

Outlaw: *gets right in front of Balrog before collapsing* I’m… I’m dizzy… *throws up all over Balrog*

Balrog: EW!! EWEWEWEWEW!! *tries to wipe the throw up off*

Shadowstrike: Now is our chance! Sonic Breaker!

*Using his incredible speed, Shadow charges toward Balrog. He runs so fast he breaks even the sound barrier and rams into the hapless creature, plowing right through him.*

Rebel: My turn. Time for a “Mirage Breaker” combo!

*The result in Shadow’s speed created a vaccuum which Rebel teleports into to boost his own speed. With his beam saber drawn, he runs up to Balrog and slashes him and teleports to another point again, repeating the process. The rate this was happening was so fast it almost seemed like several Rebel’s were attacking simulataneously. During this Shadow was also running past, continually tossing Sonic Slicers.*

Balrog: Oof, ow, ouch! MOMMY!!

Rebel: Give up yet!? *slashes Balrog once more*

Balrog: NEVER!! *releases several projectiles in Shadow and Rebel’s paths*

Rebel and Shadowstrike: SHIT!! *gets bombarded*

Void: No!!

Outlaw: *getting back up* They won’t survive that onslaught!

Sean: *still hiding under his shell*

Outlaw: Time to be brave! *grabs Sean*

Sean: Hey, what’re you doing!?

Outlaw: *throws Sean at Balrog*

Sean: CUUUUUURRRSE YOOOOOUUUUUU!!

Balrog: *gets hit in the face and is knocked out*

Dark Knight: Well, that sure was convenient.

Metabad: And it was totally rawkin’! *rawks*

Rebel: *covered in wounds* Good job, team. We got him!

Everyone else: YEAH!!

Serges: Blast!

*As the team was celebrating, Serges came back with Misery in tow. They land next to Balrog.*

Misery: What a sad and pitiful person you are, Balrog. Getting defeated by such weaklings.

Rebel: *gets in Misery’s face* HEY!! SAY THAT TO MY FACE!!

Balrog: *wakes up and gets in Misery’s face* YEAH SAY THAT TO MY FACE!!

Misery: *uses her magic to blow them both back*

Rebel and Balrog: Aaaagh!

*The two go flying off the ship. Thanks to Rebel’s jet pack, however, he was brought safely back. Balrog, on the other hand…*

Balrog: YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS MISERYYYYYYyyyyy….

Sean: Did you just kill off one of your own members!?

Misery: He’ll be fine. If that killed him then I would have had a new partner years ago.

Metabad: YOU’RE NOT A NICE LADY!! *gets smacked by Misery’s wand* OW!! NOW YOU’RE JUST A BIG, FAT, MEAN LADY!! *gets smacked again* OW!! AND YOU HAVE A STICK!! *gets smacked again* OW!!

Serges: I have had enough of this! Balrog managed to weaken all of you… so finish them off, Misery! Waste no time!

???: WAIT!!

Everyone else: Huh!?

Agile: *climbing up onto the deck* Wait… just… A MINUTE!!

Violen: *being dragged by Agile* I’M SCARED OF HEIGHTS AGILE!!

Agile: SHUT UP!! *throws Violen up onto the deck*

Shadowstrike: It’s the Old X-Hunters!

Agile: H-huh!? WHO’RE YOU CALLING OLD!?

Serges: You two!?

Violen: SERGES!! DON’T LEAVE US!!

Serges: Fools… I was going to spare your lives until I destroyed the Island Attackers… but this is perfect! Now I can destroy ALL of you together!

Agile and Violen: NOOOOOOOOOO!!

Serges: Misery! Finish them!

Misery: As you wish, master. *readies a spell*

Dark Knight: So… does anyone have any bright ideas?

Void: Most of us have taken a beating from the last fight…

Outlaw: I think Sean can still fight though–

Sean: *hiding under his shell again*

Rebel: Fuckin’ pansy.

Misery: It’s time to die!

Majin: *bursts through the door*

Misery: *stops* Who!?

Serges: Him!?

Rebel, Outlaw, Void, Shadowstrike, Metabad, Dark Knight, Sean, Agile, Violen: Majin!?

Majin: beeeeeeeeeeep *drops a bottle of beer*

Void: *covering his eyes* Oh god, he’s drunk.

Misery: I can’t remember… is this a friend of yours or something?

Rebel: No. No relation. We do not know this person at all. At all.

Majin: HAI GUIZ!! *runs up and hugs Rebel* i wuv all ov u THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS MUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!! *squeezes Rebel*

Rebel: Stop…

Majin: *squeezes harder*

Rebel: Stop.

Majin: *squeezes harder*

Rebel: Stop!

Majin: *squeezes harder*

Rebel: I SAID FUCKING STOP ALREADY!!

Majin: *drops Rebel and looks at Misery* u funy lady?

Misery: …I’m going to kill you.

Majin: YAYZ!! *pulls out chains*

Balrog: Huzzah! *flies back onto the ship* Misery! You better explain to me why you just knocked me off this ship!

Misery: Oh, good, perfect timing, Balrog. Take care of this drunk for me. *steps aside*

Balrog: Huh?

Majin: *swinging his chains around* weeeeeee

Balrog: …You’ve been drinking, haven’t you?

Majin: yeppy yep yeppers

Balrog: Despite the fact it is bad for you…

Majin: lol

Balrog: DON’T YOU FEEL ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!?

Majin: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Balrog: *fires a missile*

Majin: *slips right around it* woot woot

Balrog: Woot woot!? I’ll show you! *attempts to smack Majin around*

Majin: *takes the blows but shrugs them off*

Balrog: What? *gets tripped and falls flat on his face* Oof!

Misery: Balrog! He’s drunk! You can’t beat him!?

Balrog: I… I can! He just got me there.

Serges: …

Balrog: Take this! *fires several projectiles*

Agile: WATCH OUT!!

Majin: this looks fantastic xd *weaves back and forth between the projectiles*

Balrog: What in the–*gets punched in the face*–OW!!

Dark Knight: Dude, he’s kicking his ass!

Metabad: GO GO GO!!

Balrog: Okay, okay… but what about this!? *jumps into the air and flies around* I bet you can’t catch me up here, can you!?

Majin: *inhales*

Balrog: !?

Majin: *exhales* SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!

*Majin releases two Strike Chains that go upward. The two start zigzagging in different directions before the ends finally met, locking together. What they had created was a cage, with Balrog inside of it.*

Balrog: A… a cage? DID I GO TO JAIL OR SOMETHING!? *grabs the chains and tries to break free*

Majin: electric wire-thingy-wingy! *gets hit by a bolt of lightning and charges his chains with electricity*

Balrog: *getting electrocouted* ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH!!

Serges and Misery: No way!

Outlaw: He got ‘im!

Balrog: HAAAAAAAAAALP!!

Majin: *stops the attack and retracts his chains*

Balrog: *crashes to the ground, charred and burnt*

Sean: *taking a peek out from under his shell* Did I miss anything?

Rebel: …

Void: …

Dark Knight: …

Metabad: …

Shadowstrike: …

Outlaw: …

Majin: …

Violen: …

Agile: …

Misery: …

Serges: …GOD DAMN IT!!

Rebel: *smugly* So what now, huh, X-Hunters?

Agile: Hey, don’t attack us, now!

Rebel: Not you, the other X-Hunters!

Violen: Other X-Hunters!? There’s another me!? I’M NOT ORIGINAL ANYMOOOOOOORE!!

Sean: Why must this all be confusing?

Dark Knight: Could be worse.

Sean: *shocked* Damn it.

Serges: Whatever! Misery, it’s time to put your skills to the test.

Misery: But of course. *prepares a spell*

Dark Knight: …Hold on a second!

Misery: ???

*Dark Knight uses his Bubble Splash on Majin, who immediately absorbs and then sprays a path of water onto the floor, connecting him to Misery and Serges.*

Misery: What in the world…?

Dark Knight: Hah! Got you! Now, if you make one wrong move, I’ll have Majin electrify himself… and you guys, too!

Serges and Misery: !!

Void: Good thinking, DK. Water conducts electricty, after all.

Dark Knight: This was a move that me and Maj came up with the other day… still don’t have a name for it, though.

Majin: ELECTRIC BBQ!!

Dark Knight: …Eh, why not.

Void: So how about it, Misery? Feeling lucky?

Misery: …Very well. You win this time, Island Attackers.

Serges: What? They… they… win? THEY WIN!? NO!!

Misery: Relax, master. We are merely retreating. Next time, we will surely defeat them.

Serges: Grr… Fine! Get Balrog and let’s go.

Misery: *casts a spell to raise Balrog and they start to leave*

Agile: Wait! Serges!

Violen: Don’t go!

Serges: Quit following me! I thought I told you that we were through?

Agile: But…

Serges: The New X-Hunters are the future! First, we’ll defeat the Island Attackers… and next… we’ll take over the world!

Rebel: *to the audience* You heard it here first, folks.

Bison: OF COURSE!!

Rebel: …Get out.

Bison: Fuck you. *leaves*

Outlaw: They’re getting away!

Agile: SERGES!!

*Agile chases after Serges who was moving rapidly away from the ship. In a moment of desperation the Reploid takes a leap off the side of the ship in an effort to catch his former ally but ends up plummeting.*

Agile: AAHHHH!!

Violen: Agile!

Rebel: DUMBASS!!

*Wasting no time, Rebel teleports next to the ledge and grabs Agile by the hand, letting him merely dangle off the side of the ship.*

Agile: LEMME GO I NEED TO GET SERGES!!

Rebel: You are going to get yourself killed!

Agile: WHAT DO YOU KNOW!?

Rebel: More than you, obviously. *to everyone else* Guys, help me pull him up!

*The rest of the members including Violen help Rebel yank Agile back up.*

Sean: *peering out into the distance* It looks like they’re long-gone.

Agile: Damn it!

Void: It seems like we just can’t get a break around here. Even with Anti gone, Yuber is still out there causing trouble and now we have these “New X-Hunters” to deal with…

Violen: *sniff* It’s scary.

Shadowstrike: So what now?

Rebel: Well, we’re going to probably deal with them again. Serges wants us all dead. *to Agile* You guys can crash here for a while, if you’d like.

Everyone else: What?

Sean: You sure that’s okay?

Rebel: Look, right now they aren’t our enemies. If anything we need all the help we can get… just like last time*.

*See Series 3, Epilogue #37 “Dance of the Abyss (part1)”

Violen: So, wait… WE CAN ACTUALLY GET A ROOF OVER OUR HEADS!?

Majin: tats what da good man said sir huhuhuh

Violen: ISN’T THIS GREAT AGILE!?

Agile: No.

Violen: Huh?

Agile: This isn’t right! We aren’t supposed to be allies! We are supposed to be ENEMIES!!

Rebel: I just said we weren’t enemies right now–

Agile: No, no, NO!! I don’t know if YOU understand or not, but we are the X-HUNTERS!! And this whole thing with Serges? IT’S AN X-HUNTER PROBLEM!! We don’t need OUR ENEMIES solving one of OUR PROBLEMS!!

Violen: But Agile… Serges is scary now…

Agile: *smacks Violen around* Wake up, dumby! We can do this by ourselves! We can do this just fine! JUST FINE!!

Metabad: Dude, you ain’t rawkin’ right now.

Agile: Like I care! Serges left because of our own mistakes! So we’re gonna make it up to him! We just need to find him… AND WE’LL DO THAT ON OUR OWN!!

Void: You aren’t thinking, Agile. Let’s just work together…

Rebel: SCREW THAT!!

Void: Huh?

Rebel: You wanna be a big man, huh? Then fine! GO OUT THERE AND GET YOUR ASSES KICKED!! SEE IF WE CARE!!

Shadowstrike: Whoa…

Sean: This is getting a little heated… *takes a step back*

Agile: WE DON’T NEED YOU!!

Rebel: YEAH WELL WE DON’T WANT YOU!! GET THE FUCK OUT!!

Agile: FINE!!

Rebel: FINE!!

Agile: FINE!!

Rebel: FINE!!

Agile: LET’S GO VIOLEN!! *storms off*

Violen: O-Okay! *follows*

Outlaw: Should we let them off?

Rebel: Yeah right! THEY CAN JUMP OFF FOR ALL I CARE!!

Agile: THEN WE WILL!! *jumps off the ship, taking Violen with him*

Violen: WAAAAAAAHHHHHHhhhhh…

*There is a moment of silence between the eight members of the CIA as they let everything that had just happen sink in. Finally, someone speaks…*

Void: …Rebel, you are an idiot.

Rebel: Shut up.

Metabad: Yeah, shut your face! Oooooh, I burned ya~… *waddles off*

Dark Knight: *pondering* I think our leader needs to take some deep breaths and try to relax.

Rebel: Relax!? How can I relax!? That bastard pissed me off!

Outlaw: Maybe Maj dude can help ya, boss bug.

Majin: *looking insanely drunk*

Rebel: Pfft, how can Majin help make me relax?

Majin: i eat poopoo?

Rebel: …

Majin: …

Rebel: … *raises eyebrow*

Majin: :]

The End

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