Ashes to the Stars

*Written by Metabad*

*It was a day unlike any other day, because on this day Metabad finally got off his lazy ass and is working on an epilogue, huzzah! Anyways our story starts off in the deepest reaches of space, where our heroes are currently inside the Whale King.*

Shadowstrike: So remind me, why we’re in space again?

Metabad: ‘Cause space is rawkin’.

Void: Actually Shadow, it’s because our engines have proven to be really faulty lately, and my guess is that it’s on the fuel we use, we are currently in outer space because I have heard of these… “Sinisite Crystals” that are usually mined from planetoids, I am planning to harvest these crystals and convert them into powerful fuel for our engines.

Rebel: *slaps Void* That was too long! Summarize this kind of crap next time.

Void: *sighs*

Metabad: Dude, you like totally owned that guy, it was all like “blah blah blagh” and you were all like “SHUT UP BITCH!” and then he was all like “I HATE MY LIFE”!

Sean: Yeah, we know that Metabad, we just witnessed it happening.

Rebel: See Void? Metabad has the right idea on summing things up, I want you to take lessons from him for now on!

Metabad: Rawkin’.

Void: WHAT?! B-but–

Rebel: No buts, bitch. *slaps* That’s an order.

Void: *clutches head in frustration* Look, can’t we just mine these crystals and get this over with?

Rebel: Sure, why not?

*So the Whale King flew nearby a series of planetoids.*

Shadowstrike: So how exactly do we mine these crystals?

Metabad: Let’s shoot at these overgrown rocks until they come out!

Shadowstrike: I was talking to Void, not you.

Void: Actually, that is how you mine Sinisite Crystals.

Shadowstrike: Whoa, Metabad was right?

Metabad: FUCK YEAH I WAS! *rawks*

Rebel: *rawks*

Void: But we have to be careful, if a planetoid is shot too much at a rapid pace, it could explode, leaving us with none of these crystals.

Metabad: *at the controls* Huh? I’m sorry I didn’t hear you over the exploding planetoid.

Void: Ugh… move aside. *pushes Metabad out of the way* I’ll show you how it’s done.

Metabad: Not rawkin’ dude…

*Void shot at a nearby planetoid very slowly and a few tiny crystals that gave off an immense glow floated out of it, the Whale King then went over to it, and upon interaction, the Sinisite crystals automatically appeared in the Whale King.*


Void: It’s just how these crystals work, calm down.

Metabad: Oh, okay. *leaves*

Sean: Where’s he going?

Metabad: To get some smokes.

Sean: Since when do you smoke?

Metabad: Since now! I brought some on board just before we took off.

Sean: Smoking’s bad for you, you know.

Dark Knight: It could be worse!

Sean: *gets shocked* God damn you…

Rebel: So how many of these do we need?

Void: I’d say… about 13.

Rebel: 13? Aye… it’s gonna be a long day… *takes out coke*

*Meanwhile, not too far away… another team was also searching for these crystals, however it was for a different purpose*

??? #1: They should not be too far off…

??? #2: Hopefully, that annoying bird won’t show up to ruin this for us…

??? #3: We’re going to get a lotta cash once we get this stuff!

??? #4: Uncle Andross will be so proud… *sniff*

??? #1: Ahh, there it is! RIGHT THERE!

??? #2: Those Sinisite crystals will be ours…

??? #3: …And we will be rich…

??? #4: Wait, am I crazy or do I see another ship over there?

??? #1: Hmm… you’re right, but look at that outdated piece of junk. It’s not even worth our time.

??? #3: Not to mention, if we sold it for scrap, it wouldn’t be worth a dime!

??? #2: What do you say? Should we torment these fools?

??? #4: It doesn’t look like it could pose a threat.

??? #2: Looks can be deceiving…

??? #1: Plus, they’re on my turf! They won’t leave here alive…

*So the four figures turned on their Wolfen thrusters and flew at lightning speed towards the planetoids and the CIA*

Rebel: So how many do we have now?

Void: We currently have five so far… we would have more if these red ships weren’t in our way!

Metabad: They be stealing these Sinisite crystals? Not rawkin’… not rawkin’ at all…

Sean: Not to mention those mobile floating turret ships are really annoying, we’re taking a lot of damage from them!

Dark Knight: It could be worse!

Sean: *gets shocked* Now is not the time for that!

Dark Knight: It’s ALWAYS a good time to say that.

Sean: No it isn’t.

Dark Knight: Yes it is.

Sean: No it isn’t.

Dark Knight: Yes it is.

Sean: Isn’t.

Dark Knight: Is.

Sean: Isn’t.

Dark Knight: Is.

Shadowstrike: I’d hate to interrupt your bickering you two, but I think I see something off in the distance.

Outlaw: Those are stars, Shadowstrike. They’re like fireflies that got caught up in that big… bluish… black-thing.

Shadowstrike: I wasn’t talking about those, I was talking about–

*All of a sudden four dark red ships come into view.*

??? #1: Beware intruders, it is I, Wolf O’Donnel, leader of Star Wolf.

??? #2: Annoying trespassers… I AM THE GREAT LEON!

??? #3: The name’s Pigma, and I’m not leaving until I get my beautiful reward!

??? #4: And I am Andrew, the nephew and heir to Uncle Andross!

Wolf O’ Donnel: Quiet, you!

Andrew Oikonny: *cries*

Leon Powalski: So, what do you say, give up the Sinisite Crystals? Or face my wrath…

Pigma Dengar: I suggest you make the right choice… seriously, I need some god damn money!

Rebel: Oh, sure, you can have the Sinisite crystals…

Wolf: Muahahaha…


Sean: That was such a generic response…

Dark Knight: It could be worse!

Sean: *shocked* STOP DOING THAT!

Dark Knight: Getting upset are we? Kekeke…

Metabad: Dude, that laugh was so rawksome. I should start using it.

Wolf: If you won’t give them to us, we’ll just have to take them from you.

Leon: Rip them out of your cold, dead hands…

Pigma: *shudders* This guy gives me the creeps…

Andrew: *cringes* Same here…

Pigma: SHUT UP!

Andrew: *cries*

Wolf: Enough of this, Star Wolf, ATTACK!


*The Whale King gets repeatedly shot at as it slowly turns around*

Metabad: Dude, what the hell?

Outlaw: Can’t this thing go faster?

Dark Knight: I dunno… this ship is pretty big…

Wolf: You’re in my sights, you’re going down!

Void: It was never meant for dogfights like this… which is why I have a little something prepared! Follow me everyone.

Rebel: Hey punk, I make the orders around here… follow Void everyone!

Void: …

Rebel: …


*The team follows Void until they come across a room they have never seen before*

Void: Behold, fellow teammates, for this will be the first time you see these beauties… they are my newest creations…

*Void presses a button and the door to the room opens up and everyone else enters the room*

Void: I present to you all, the CIA crafts!

Rebel: What a lame name.

Void: Got any better ideas?

Rebel: How about the “r-wing”?

Metabad: The R stands for rawk, am I rite?

Rebel: Right you are!

Void: …There already are fighter ships called “arwings.”

Rebel: Well… just call them rawk-wings.

Metabad: Damn, that’s rawksome on all two cylinders.

Rebel: Don’t I know it? *rawks*

Metabad: *rawks*

Void: Give me a break…

Rebel: So, we’re all going to go out there, and kick those fool’s asses, kapeesh?

Void: Actually… I only made four aircrafts…

Rebel: … *whacks Void upside the head with all four arms*

Metabad: Pooowwwwnnneeddddd.

Void: Alright, I’ll admit, that one is my fault. However these ships were very difficult to create, they took a lot of time and planning, but not to worry, we will just send our four best fighters to go out there and take care of them.

Rebel: Or we could send our four worst fighters, and then when they die we can send our four best fighters.

Void: Well, it doesn’t work like that. You see, if any of these ships were to get highly damaged, to go on the verge of crashing, or exploding, you will all be safe due to modifications I made for the device.

Rebel: What device?

Void: The one that sends our teammates back to safety on the Whale King*.

*See: Series 4, Epilogue #39 “Rampage of The Rat”

Void: The modifications that I have made to that device are that it interacts with the engines of the ships, so say if your ship’s engine is damaged in any way, shape, or form, the device will detect the problem and teleport you all back here, it will also teleport the ship here for repairs.

Rebel: What if after we’re teleported to safety, the ship explodes in a fiery rage before it can be teleported back?

Void: Then the scraps of metal of the ship will be teleported back here.

Rebel: What’s the point of that if they’re just scraps?

Void: Hey, you’re talking to Morph Moth, I make many valuable and scientific objects with just mere junk, in fact I created these ships from some junk Outlaw spewed out just a few weeks ago.

Outlaw: How come I don’t smell anything nice and funky coming from these ships?

Void: Well I obviously cleaned it up before building it.

Outlaw: Well that sucks…

Void: To you, maybe… but to us it’s truly a blessing.

Rebel: Alright, so seeing as how we’ll be safe in these ships… I call the first one!

Metabad: Oh man, it was always my dream to dogfight in a ship all rawksome-like… or maybe it was to rawk out with Nightwish… or to smoke more packs of cigarettes than any normal man. *takes out cigarette and starts smoking*

Sean: Duuude… second hand smoookeee…

Metabad: *cough* WELL I CAN’T STOP NOW! *cough* *choke* I’M ADDICTED! *cough*

Void: Just get in the ship, before we all suffocate.

Metabad: *cough* ALRIGHT!! *cough* Just let me get my awesome hat and my green jacket.

Outlaw: Where’d you get those?

Metabad: I bought them before we took off.

Outlaw: How many things DID you do before we went into space?

Metabad: Many things my friend… many things. ;o

Outlaw: Ohhh, I gotchya!

Void: Well you’ll have to save wearing those for another time.

Metabad: But they’re rawksome!

Void: Well incase you didn’t noti–

*All of a sudden three lasers shoot through the wall of the Whale King*

Outlaw: Those lasers did all the talking… you better get in the ship fast.

Metabad: Well, ok.

*Rebel teleports in the first ship and Metabad jumps in the second one*

Shadowstrike: Well, seeing as how I am an expert pilot, it’s only natural for me to go out there and face many dangers.

*Shadowstrike runs up to the third ship, but what he saw there was an ungodly sight*


Majin: *humping the top of the third ship* I lufflews you miss hankeyyyy *burp*

Void: …Oh, good lord…

Outlaw: MY EYES!

Dark Knight: Gross, dude!

Majin: lolwut?


*Shadowstrike then ran far, far away from the room*

Shadowstrike: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???????

Majin: *hic* scaredy burrrrdddehhhh

Void: *sighs* Well since you scared Shadow off, I might as well go in…

*But before Void knew it Majin already entered the third ship*

Majin: I wanttid to get inside of herrrrrrrrrrrr *belch* sexay u no?

Void: Majin, I don’t think you flying a ship drunk would be very wise…

Majin: Whut the eff gigagles in tarnation saucccceeee?

Void: Think of it as drunk driving, you’ll probably hurt your allies a lot more than your opponents.

Majin: Buwyut drivin dronk is funnnnnnn cuz like ppl go bang bom bomb boom bim bamb bomb blammo bom and *hic* is funneh tho I wuz in jale fo doin dat but I innocent I tells ya INNOCENT I DID NUT MURTDER DEMS!!!!!! But I ant dat drunk ducck I no I doin he look a penneh *burp*

Void: …

Majin: …

Void: …What?

Majin: I be fine but hurreh cuse dere be baddy bad bads shootin at us *more lasers are being shot through the wall*

Void: Damn it, I guess there’s no time… Sean, you take the fourth ship… and try to watch Majin for me, okay?

Sean: I’ll make sure he doesn’t harm us.

Void: Good, and don’t let him slack off or fool around too much, we have a dogfight to win.

Sean: Got it! *hops in the fourth ship*

Void: Alright, all systems are go, prepare for take off!

Majin: butt I dun wanna taek off muh cloths

Void: …

*The wall infront of the ship opens up slightly*

Wolf: There you are!

*The cockpits on the CIA ships close and they blast off towards Star Wolf*

Leon: So, the cowards have come out of hiding…

Rebel: *on communicator* Alright team, seeing as how I’m the leader, I will take on their leader, Wolf.

Wolf: You will never defeat me!

Rebel: Metabad, I don’t trust that Leon… take care of him for me.

Metabad: Alright, this dogfight’s gonna be RAWKSOME!

Rebel: Sean, you take on Pigma.

Sean: Why should I take on Pigma?

Rebel: No time for questions, Majin, You take on Andrew seeing as how he seems to be the least experienced of the team.

Majin: jut dat raison?

Rebel: Well, that and you’re drunk.

Majin: How dar u say mah wife’s a bear… just cuz she’s holden a teddy bair… *hic*

Rebel: Alright, Star Centipede, move out!

*So Star Centipede’s battle aircrafts split off in four directions. Going in on Sean vs. Pigma*

Pigma: Come on, little man! Shoot me!

*Sean shoots the hell out of Pigma*


Sean: Less talking more fighting!

Pigma: Very well then. *Does a somersault and gets behind Sean*

Sean: What?! Oh come on…

Pigma: Heheheh, what’s wrong snail? *blasts the hell out of Sean*

Sean: HOLY CURSE! *tries to dodge and evade the lasers, but the majority of them get him* Aie… I got to do something… *does a U-turn* Haha!

Pigma: So you squirmed your way out of that one… but can you dodge this? *launches a charged shot at Sean*

Sean: Oh god no! …Hey wait… *uses a boost and the charge shot just barely misses*

Pigma: Grr… you won’t avoid my next attack, that cash will surely be mine when I sell those good for nothing crystals!

Sean: If you want those crystals, then look behind you.

Pigma: Oh I ain’t falling for that one.

Sean: No seriously, other ships are taking them.

Pigma: WHAT?! *Turns around*

Red ships: *bumping into planetoids* Kekeke… *steals Sinisite crystals*

Pigma: WHAT?! B-b-but… WHY?!

Sean: Your guess is as good as mine. *shoots a smart bomb at Pigma*

Pigma: GAH! *makes a sharp turn to the left to avoid it* Eeeek!

Sean: Damn, just barely missed!

Pigma: You’ll have to try harder than that.

Sean: Same to you.

Pigma: …Nyyyyi suppoooosee…

*Going in on Majin vs. Andrew*

Majin: Wheeeeeeeeee deh choo choo train in da town squar

Andrew: …Why did they send this guy after me?

Majin: be qiut gots

Andrew: *cries*

Majin: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *shoots lasers at Andrew but the majority of them hit the planetoids instead*

Andrew: …Huh?! Wow, thanks… *snatches some Sinisite crystals*

Majin: Ruh-roh!

Andrew: Bow before the great Andross! *turns around and shoots rapidly at Majin*

Majin: O geez *shoots rapidly back*

Andrew: Whoa, wasn’t expecting that…

*After taking a bit of damage Majin and Andrew both take an upwards turn*

Majin: Holy Macaroni.

Andrew: Give it up. You can’t win!

*The two both circle around each other firing off lasers at each other but the majority of them miss*

Andrew: Well this is tiring…

Majin: *opens cockpit and throws beer at Andrew’s ship*

Andrew: WHAT IN THE NAME OF ANDROSS?! *it hits his cockpit, cracking it* Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!

Majin: *hic* duz gud sht right thurrrrrrrrrrr…

*Going in on Metabad vs. Leon*

Metabad: I’m going to rawk your sawks awff!

Leon: Not before I torture you… *fires continuous shots of charged lasers*

Metabad: Whoa! *Gets hit by most of them* Aiieeeee!

Leon: You’re not as tough as I thought.

Metabad: We’ll see… about THAT! *fires a laser*

Leon: Oh please, one laser? *does a barrel roll and it bounces right off his ship*

Metabad: A WHA?!

Leon: I’ll finish you! *fires one Nova Bomb*

Metabad: Not rawksome… *does a U-turn as the explosion just barely gets him* That was TOO CLOSE!

Leon: I’d say you were quite damaged during that ordeal.

Metabad: Oh yeah? Well I’ll show you that I can be most excellent and righteous! *connects electric guitar to own ship*

Leon: …What… the…

Metabad: FACE THE MUSIC! *rawks out*

Leon: Hahaha, are you out of your mind?

*Somehow, through playing the electrical cords of his guitar, it triggers his lasers to fire at a rapid pace, about as fast as Leon’s lasers*

Leon: Hmm… *barrel rolls through the lasers and fires a charge shot at Metabad’s ship which hits one of his wings*

Metabad: Excrements!

*Going in on Rebel vs. Wolf*

Wolf: I will be the one… to take you down!

Rebel: We’ll just see about that Star Wolf.

*Rebel locks onto Wolf and does a charge shot on him*

Wolf: What?! Is that all you’ve got? *swiftly dodges the shot* Now it’s my turn! *shoots a smart bomb at Rebel*

Rebel: Gah! *nearly dodges the oncoming explosion, but it gets the left wing* Bastard…

Wolf: You’re not so tough!

*Rebel then rapidly fires many lasers at Wolf, some of them get him but he eventually does a U-turn and blasts Rebel back*

Rebel: Damn, this guy is tough…

Wolf: You’re in my sights! You’re going down!

*Back to Majin’s battle with Andrew*

Andrew: I don’t know why you threw that beer bottle at me…

Majin: *burp* tehee

Andrew: But in the end I will win, I’m not afraid of you!

Majin: silly lalalalalalolipop

Andrew: Why aren’t you listening to me?! *Shoots Majin*

Majin: weeeeeeeeeeeeee *shoots lasers everywhere*

Sean: GAH! *Is hit by a laser* Watch where you fire, Majin.

Majin: meow meow meow

Andrew: I’m getting rather sick of you…

Majin: u looks funny r u a cloon?

Andrew: You’re not welcome here! *shoots at Majin, but he dodges* Huh?!

Majin: don’t go dere friend. *blasts the shit out of Andrew*

Andrew: AHHHHHH! How the hell did you get so good all of a sudden? *cries*

Majin: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh cookie

Andrew: I’m tired of your redundancy, I’ll end you. *shoots at Majin*

Majin: LOLWALLPAPER *barrel rolls*

Andrew: You’ll be sorry you crossed us! *charges at Majin*

Majin: O u wanna ply chiken hunh? *goes under Andrew’s ship*

Andrew: Huh?! Grr… stay still! *flies downwards and shoots at Majin*

Majin: uh-oh spaghetti-o’s *flies towards Andrew*

Andrew: What are you trying to–

*Majin crashes his ship into Andrew’s Wolfen, causing both ships to explode*


Pigma: *taking a quick glance at the battle* That guy is crazy!

Sean: No, he’s drunk! *fires at Pigma*

*Back on the Whale King*

Outlaw: GAH! Is Majin okay?!

Void: I’m not sure…

*They both look outside to see Majin falling out of the explosion*

Majin: dat wuz funnir *is teleported back to the Whale King along with the ship scraps*

Void: *facepalms* Thanks a lot Majin… now I have to start from scratch with this ship’s repairs.

Outlaw: Hey, lighten up… at least Majin is okay.

Majin: *hic* pretty purple adventuuuurrrreeeesssss…

Void: *sighs* I guess so… repairing this is going to be difficult though…

Dark Knight: Well, it could be worse.

*Back to Sean’s battle with Pigma. Sean has Pigma cornered between two planetoids*

Sean: I have you right were I want you, you overgrown oaf!

Pigma: This CAN’T be happening!

*All of a sudden, a lightning bolt strikes through Sean’s cockpit and hits Sean, the ship’s control panel and engine are also both fried.*


Pigma: What the…?


*Both Sean and the ship are teleported back to the Whale King*

Pigma: Huh…? …Looks like I got myself a lucky break! *flies towards more planetoids and shoots at them in pursuit of the crystals*

*Back at the Whale King*

Sean: Alright, who did it?!

Outlaw: Who did what?

Sean: Who the hell activated my curse? I had that slimy pig right where I wanted him!

Void: *repairing the ship* Dark Knight obviously muttered your curse.

Sean: I KNEW IT WAS YOU! *points at DK*

Dark Knight: Hey buddy, this time I didn’t even mean it.

Sean: I’LL KILL YOU! *strangles him*

Dark Knight: ACK! *cough* *choke* IT COULD BE WORSE! *cough*

*A bolt of lightning once again strikes Sean sending both Sean and Dark Knight flying backwards*



Shadowstrike: *runs in* What’s all this racket?

Void: Dark Knight mentioned Sean’s curse when he had the upper hand against Pigma.

Shadowstrike: Oh… and I take it Sean didn’t take it well?

Outlaw: He’s basically out for his blood now.

Shadowstrike: Ouch… hey wait… the crab just did me a big favour…

Dark Knight: I did?

Sean: GRAHHH! DIE! *chases*

Dark Knight: YIPE! *runs*

Shadowstrike: Now I can partake in this dogfight!

Void: Sorry Shadow, the controls are fried, and it’s going to take me awhile to get Majin’s ship repaired.

Shadowstrike: Nonsense, I can repair this thing, you just worry about working on Majin’s ship.

Majin: a hanker for hunka, a slamer slash of chunka, a hanker for hunka CHEESE!

Shadowstrike: *gets in Sean’s former ship and starts repairing it* this thing will be up in no time!

*We now go back to the fight between Rebel and Wolf*

Wolf: *locks onto Rebel* Now I’ve got you! *Fires two blue lasers side by side at Rebel*

Rebel: *gets hit* Damn, this guy is tough.

Wolf: You’re not so tough!

Rebel: Oh yeah? *opens cockpit and throws a series of Magnet Mines at Wolf’s ship, which all make contact*

Wolf: What the heck?! *parts of his ship are blown off by multiple explosions* GAH!

Rebel: *closes the cockpit* What now, bitch?

Wolf: Hey, Pigma, you’re not doing anything.

Pigma: Well I happen to be collecting these crystals.

Wolf: Well forget about that, and come help me already!

Pigma: Heh, alright. *flies over to Wolf* What do you need?

Wolf: I’ve taken some hefty damage, I need you to help me take care of this centipede.

Pigma: Not a problem! Heheheh…

Rebel: What?! Two against one? That’s as cheap as hell!

Wolf: No one ever said we play fair.

*Both Pigma and Wolf start flying and shooting at Rebel*

Rebel: Grr… Metabad, help me out here!

Metabad: Sorry dude, I kind of got my hands full here. *plays guitar to do a barrel roll that deflects Leon’s charge shots*

Leon: Oh I see… you’ve replaced your control panel with a guitar, but how does that work out? …Oh well. *fires a Nova Bomb*

Metabad: OSHI–

Rebel: Damn, wait, I got it! *fires a smart bomb at Wolf and Pigma*

Wolf: ARGH!

Pigma: GACK!

*They’re both heavily wounded by the explosion*

Wolf: Grr… I’m too wounded to continue on… Pigma! Take care of him for me! *retreats*

Pigma: I’m gonna bust you up REAL good. *starts charging up*

Rebel: Hah, like you’re going to get me with that! *Starts to do a barrel roll*

Pigma: PSYKE! *quickly stops charging and shoots out a bomb*

Rebel: You cheapskate!

Pigma: Heheheh…

*All of a sudden the bomb is shot at in mid-air and breaks apart*

Pigma: WHAT?!

Rebel: Huh?

Shadowstrike: Hey Rebel, I got Sean’s ship repaired, mind if I join the fray?

Rebel: Well, I had that covered, but… sure, why not? I’ll go chase after Wolf, you take care of this bastard, alright?

Shadowstrike: Got it! *flies at Pigma*

Pigma: That reward’s as good as mine! *Fires lasers*

Shadowstrike: *fires back* Is that the best you can do?

Pigma: That reward’s as good as mine! *quicky flies behind Shadowstrike*

Shadowstrike: Didn’t you already say that? *Turns around*

Pigma: Oh yeah, I did didn’t I?

Shadowstrike: Yup.

*Shadowstrike shoots a laser that goes right through Pigma’s ship*

Pigma: My beautiful reward! Arrrrrrrggghhh!

*Pigma’s ship explodes*

Shadowstrike: YES!


Rebel: I’m comin’ for ya!

Wolf: Don’t get too cocky, centipede!

Rebel: Say goodbye, Wolf! *fires a smart bomb that hits Wolf once again*

Wolf: No way!! I don’t believe it!

*Wolf quickly ejected himself from the ship just before the smart bomb blew his ship apart, he eventually found himself in front of Rebel’s cockpit*

Wolf: You’re good… but I’m better! *crashes through the glass of the cockpit*

Rebel: What the?! Get out of here!

Wolf: Playtime is over, centipede! *hits Rebel with his claw*

Rebel: My name… is Rebel!

Wolf: *shoots a laser at Rebel*

Rebel: *teleports behind Wolf and slices him with his sword*

Wolf: *uses his deflector* Ha-ha. *kicks Rebel*

Rebel: *punches Wolf* You are starting to annoy me! *resumes piloting the ship*

Wolf: I don’t think so! *knocks Rebel out of the way and then controls the ship*

Rebel: Oh you little… *knocks Wolf out of the way and controls the ship once more*

*The fight over the controls for the ship continues for awhile until the ship actually crash lands on a nearby planet*

Rebel: God damn it Wolf!

Wolf: *gets out of the ship* This should make things interesting…

Rebel: *also gets out of the ship* What do you mean?

Wolf: Now we can fight in hand-to-hand combat.

Rebel: Hmm… true. *teleports*

Wolf: What’s the matter? Scared?

Rebel: *teleports back behind Wolf* Nope. *backhands him*

Wolf: Grr… *uses blaster*

Rebel: *gets hit* Damn that’s a powerful blast…

Wolf: Don’t I know it?

Rebel: *throws an assortment of kunai at Wolf*

Wolf: *shoots them out of the sky* Haha!

Rebel: Give up yet?

Wolf: Not a chance! *fires another powerful laser blast*

Rebel: *deflects it back at Wolf with his sword*

Wolf: Gah! *jumps out of the way*

*Rebel and Wolf share a few more hits until they feel the planet shaking*

Wolf: What the hell?!

Rebel: Damn earthquakes.

*But they soon find out that it wasn’t an earthquake, as behind them they see a gigantic skeletal-looking creature, which was presumably a weapon, it hovers slightly above Wolf and Rebel*

Rebel: …Holy shit…

Wolf: …What is this thing? …Pah, why should I care? *jumps up and air strikes right into Rebel*

Rebel: GAH! Bastard! *throws Magnet Mines*

Wolf: *swiftly jumps over them* Hah!

Rebel: *slices Wolf with his sword*

Wolf: *howls*

*All of a sudden, the giant behemoth opens its mouth to speak in it’s loud booming voice which interrupts the battle*


*The creature, merely saying this, exhales a large amount of wind that picks up Rebel and Wolf off of their feet and sends them flying*

Rebel and Wolf: AHHHHHHHHHH!!

*They then crash into the ground as the monster, now known as “Sinistar” floats away, mumbling its true purpose*

Sinistar: I hunger!

*It is then accompanied by a group of red ships and floating turrets*

Rebel: Oh… so THAT’S what they were doing!

Wolf: Huh?

Rebel: I saw these things during our dogfight, and they were collecting the Sinisite crystals, I didn’t know why they were doing that back then… but now I think I know.

Wolf: *pulls out a Sinisite crystal* Mind explaining it to me then?

Rebel: *examines it, then looks back at Sinistar* Ahh! I knew it, these ships were collecting those crystals to construct Sinistar.

Wolf: Hmm… Well, let’s get back to our little fight!

Rebel: Actually… I think it would be best if we ended our fight here.

Wolf: What?! But I’m just warming up; we’ve hardly even started this fight!

Rebel: Well that’s too bad for you, because… *looks up in the sky and sees the Whale King fly by* my rides here, so long Wolf! *kicks blaster out of Wolf’s hand and shoots up in the air, signaling that he’s there*

Wolf: No, I won’t let you do this! *snatches blaster back and holds Rebel in a headlock*

*Rebel breaks free of the headlock by smacking Wolf aside with his tail, he is then beamed back up to the Whale King*

Wolf: Noooooo! *howls*

*Back aboard the Whale King, Rebel approaches his other teammates*

Void: Rebel, I’m glad I managed to find you.

Rebel: What were you doing out here anyways?

Void: We were trying to mine Sinisite crystals, a bunch of them flew over here, and we followed them. The next thing I know there’s this giant… thing in front of us.

Outlaw: It looked like a giant skull.

Dark Knight: It was really quite exquisite!

Rebel: I know what it is…

Void: You do?!

Rebel: Well… sort of, after taking a good look at it, and a Sinisite crystal, I realized that “Sinistar” is made from these.

Void: …But how?!

Rebel: Those red ships, they constructed it.

Sean: I knew it! I knew there was something fishy about those guys!

Outlaw: But how do you know its name?

Rebel: It just announced it in this loud booming voice.

Void: Well, this is just great…

Dark Knight: I’ll bet you those red ships and those turrets are in cahoots with Sinistar.

Bison: OF COURSE!!!

Rebel: What are you doing here? Get the hell out!

Bison: You suck. *is kicked out of the ship*

Rebel: I don’t suck, I rawk! *rawks*

Void: Aie…

Rebel: Which reminds me, how is Metabad doing? Did he win his fight yet?

Void: No, he’s still out there fighting. Shadowstrike tried to help, but…

Dark Knight: This one turret blew his ship apart.

Shadowstrike: *walks in* And I could have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for those meddling floating turrets!

Rebel: Well, we can only hope that Metabad’s doing alright out there…

*Meanwhile… *

Leon: I’ll take care of you! *fires a few charged blasts*


Leon: Shoot me down if you can!

Metabad: Alright, prepare for some hardcore rawkin’! YEAHHHH *rawks out on his electric guitar so much that his ship does all these maneuvers while firing double blue lasers*

Leon: *gets hit, but shakes it off* Not yet, the party’s just begun! *shoots out a few spike-like objects at Metabad*

Metabad: *taking hefty damage* Grrrr… I MUST WIN! FOR GREAT RAWKSOMENESS!

*Leon fires one more Nova Bomb*

Metabad: No way man! NO WAY! *starts playing the exact guitar riffs of “DragonForce ? Through the Fire and Flames*

Leon: What good will music do now? Face it stag… you’re finished.


*The tune of DragonForce’s song is so rawkin’ that it causes the ship to charge up the hugest laser ever seen*

Leon: What?! What is this?

*The laser then fires, and it is so big that it obliterates the Nova Bomb in mid air, it then hits Leon, and when it does his ship goes flying back, slowly disintegrating*

Leon: Gahh… I must… fight… back *attempts to fire back many charge shots against the gigantic laser, but to no avail, his ship continues to break apart* He’s… too… strong!

*The Dragonforce laser then fires straight through the back of Leon’s ship, making him plummet to his demise*

Leon: Gahhhh!!! *eventually finds himself in a metallic corridor* …Huh? I’ve been saved? YES! IT’S A MIRAC–

*Leon is soon cut off by a loud roar coming from the very place he is in*

Leon: What the? *looks out his highly damaged cockpit and sees that he is inside Sinistar’s mouth* …This can’t be happening! *is crushed between Sinistar’s teeth, causing the wreckage of his Wolfen to go flying across space*

Metabad: Whoa… that was RAWKING! *rawks* But… what the hell is that thing?

Sinistar: I am Sinistar.

Metabad: Oh, cool.

Sinistar: I hunger, coward!

Metabad: Nice… wait, WHAT?! OH SHIT! *Sinistar starts chasing after him* NOT RAWKIN’!

*Metabad sees the Whale King come into view*

Rebel: *over communicator* Metabad, are you alright?

Metabad: Well, there’s rawkin’ news, and there’s not so rawkin’ news… the rawkin’ news is that Leon has been taken care of. The not rawkin’ news is that THERE’S THIS COLOSSAL FAST AS HELL SKULL KIND OF WEAPON AFTER ME! AHHHHH!!! *uses a boost*

Rebel: Don’t worry; I’ll beam you back up.

Metabad: Thanks dude… *soon finds himself near Sinistar’s mouth, which slowly sucks his ship in* OH CRAP! THIS BABY’S SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL! *sure enough it was, luckily Metabad was beamed back to the ship, just before Sinistar closed his mighty jaws*


Metabad: Phew… that was a close one…

Rebel: Alright, let’s defeat this beast… *fires lasers at Sinistar*

Sinistar: *lasers simply bounce off* Beware, I live! *starts going after the Whale King*

Rebel: …Shit… *turns around and starts flying away from Sinistar* Void, lasers don’t fucking work, what else could we use?

Void: …I’m not quite sure, hang on one second; I will study these Sinisite crystals even further, to see if anything can penetrate through it.

Rebel: What are we to do in the meantime?

Majin: *burrrppp* dis song iz gunna get me layed.

Outlaw: …I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.

Void: Just avoid it until then.

Rebel: Are you kidding me?! Look how fast that thing is!

Sinistar: *knocking aside planetoids and his own minions* Run, coward!

Void: Just do your best. I’ll be off! *leaves with many Sinisite crystals*

Rebel: Wait, how many do we have now?

Shadowstrike: About 13.

Majin: funy skellington gie juts nead a drinkee *throws beer bottle out window*

Sinistar: *beer bottle breaks on him* Run, run, run!

Majin: *hic* oh oh here coems dubble trubble in da bubble lol bubble bobble greeeeeeeeeeee…

Sean: Will someone shut this guy up?

Metabad: But… he has so many amusing anecdotes.

Majin: wen a cupple ov gies hoo wer upto no gud, started maken trubble in my neiboorhood, I got in 1 litel fite n my mam got scared, she sed ur movin wiff ur auntie n uncle in bel-air.

Metabad: Rawksome, dude… rawksome.

Sean: I can hardly understand his incoherent babble.

Metabad: Are you sure?


Dark Knight: Well, it could be worse.

Sean: *shocked* GYAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

Sinistar: Beware, coward!

Metabad: How’re we rawkin’?

Rebel: Well we have enough fuel to keep this up for awhile… but we really need some form of weapon to defeat this guy.

Outlaw: Yeah, he gives me the creeps!

Sinistar: Beware, I live! Coward…


Rebel: Well we don’t have much of a choice…

Majin: lolz y dunt we mekez da pritty kristuls in two boms n usage dem on big behemoff?

Shadowstrike: Don’t be retarded.

Dark Knight: How the hell would that work out?

Sean: That’s possibly the stupidest idea I ever heard!

Outlaw: Eh… I don’t know about that…

Metabad: Not such a rawkin’ idea, dude.

Rebel: Well… I guess it could work…

Metabad: Then it freaking rawks!

Void: *returns* Guys! After doing some research I realized that these crystals are highly explosive… they also seem to attract to other Sinisite crystals, so if we launch these at Sinistar, we may have ourselves a homing-explosive device that could do him in.

Rebel: You don’t mean… that they can be used as bombs against Sinistar?

Void: Precisely!

Majin: woot woot xd!

Sean: …I’m scared…

Shadowstrike: Majin was actually right?

Dark Knight: I guess it’s not so far-fetched after all…

Outlaw: Well, I suppose we all owe you a little apology Majin.

Metabad: That was a rawkin’ idea d00d!

Rebel: Good job, Majin, let’s do this then!

Void: Alright, I’ll store these in the–

*All of a sudden the team hears a loud crunching sound, another comes after it… which is the sound of metal crashing against metal*

CIA: …Oh shit!

*Everyone looked back to see Sinistar slowly but surely eating through the back of the ship*

Sinistar: *Crunch* RUN *crunch* BEWARE *crunch* COWARD *crunch* I LIVE *crunch* Sinistar…

*As Sinistar is eating the Whale King, 12 of the Sinisite crystals that the CIA collected fall out of the ship and attach to Sinistar*

Rebel: Now’s our chance… QUICK! EVERYONE, USE YOUR ATTACKS ON THE CRYSTALS! *throws a Magnet Mine on one of them*

Shadowstrike: Got it! *runs in close to Sinistar and fires off a Sonic Slicer*

Metabad: *shoots out a blazing fireball* I hope this works…

Void: *fires a Silk Shot* Keep going guys!

Sinistar: *crunch*

Outlaw: *fires a Spin Wheel* That’ll crush him!

Majin: *fires a lightning bolt* don’t make me choot!

Dark Knight: *shoots Bubble Splash* If this doesn’t work I’m totally taking my rage out on Metabad.

Metabad: OH GOD NO!

Dark Knight: Don’t worry, after you wake up from being battered and bruised, we’ll both take shots at Sean’s curse.

Metabad: Well that surely makes up for it… I think…

Sean: I heard that! *shoots Crystal Hunter*

Rebel: …This better work…

*Each weapon hits a Sinisite crystal, and in turn explodes on Sinistar*

Rebel: Yeah, it’s working!

*So large chunks of Sinistar blew off, and there were four more crystals attached to him*

Sinistar: ROOOOOOAAAARRRRRR *biting through the ship even faster*

Rebel: Crap, we don’t have much time…

Metabad: Alright, let’s rawk out then! *fires a massive fire wave at a crystal*

Rebel: Yeah! *throws kunai*

Majin: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *throws beer bottle*

Outlaw: I’ve got the last one! *fires off another Spin Wheel*

*Sinistar’s armor is completely blown off in the resulting explosion, the only thing left is his head*

Sinistar: ROAAAAAARRRRR! *starts to fly off*

Rebel: Oh no… we’re not done yet… *runs to the destroyed back of the ship and throws a crystal directly in Sinistar’s mouth*

Sinistar: Beware–*his mouth closing down on the crystal results in one final explosion*


Sinistar: ROAAAARRRRRRR!!! *self-destructs*

Shadowstrike: YEAH!

Rebel: …Don’t celebrate just yet guys…

Majin: y knot?

Void: *points to the back of the ship, or lack thereof*

Majin: oic…

Dark Knight: SHIT!

*The ship comes crashing down through a nearby planet’s atmosphere*


*The resulting crash onto the rock hard surface of the planet results in the CIA members flying out of the wreckage of the Whale King*


Void: Ohhh… my head…

Rebel: Well great, this is just GREAT! Now our great mobile base is just another pile of wreckage.

Shadowstrike: It looks almost as bad as the old X-Hunters’…

Void: Jeez, even with my scientific knowledge, I don’t think I could come up with a way to fix this mess…

Rebel: Wow, real comforting Void. *whacks him upside the head*

Void: *rubs head* Oww…

Majin: dat wuz funee AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN!

Outlaw: No, no more… as much as I like gross, grimy junk, this is a little too much for even me.

Dark Knight: You said it.

*All of a sudden wreckage from Sinistar falls upon the very same planet they are on*

Metabad: Hmm…

Void: What?

Metabad: I just got the most rawksomest idea ever!

*A little while later the Whale King is back up and running, voyaging through space once again*

Metabad: Daaaammmnnn, I knew that idea would rawk!

Majin: *rokes*

Metabad: Dude, sorry… you can’t rawk.

Majin: *crie +1*

Void: I admit Metabad that was a rather genius idea, repairing the Whale King with Sinistar’s pieces.

Outlaw: Yeah, replacing those broken parts with scraps from the very beast that destroyed it…

Dark Knight: It was rather convenient.

Metabad: Sweet, so does this mean you won’t bubble me right now?

Dark Knight: WRONGGGGGG! *shoots bubbles at Metabad*

Metabad: HOLY SHNIKEYS! *runs the hell away*

Dark Knight: Muahahaha! *chases*

Rebel: I can only see one flaw with it.

Void: Hmm?

Rebel: It’ll be pretty easy to explode when other Sinisite Crystals connect to it.

Outlaw: We should totally rename them “Sinibombs” because of their explosive nature and all.

Dark Knight: Haha, yeah.

Void: Nonetheless, I will reconfigure those specific parts on the Whale King so that they do not self destruct on us.

Rebel: …And you’ll be doing that…when?

Void: Upon our next destination of course.

Rebel: Ah, well then it should be soon; I’m taking this ship back to Earth. We’ve been through a rough day, and I’d say rest and relaxation is definitely needed for all of us… except Void.

Void: *sighs* Alas, a scientist’s work is never done.

Metabad: *while running* Well, I’d say this adventure was pretty rawking!

Dark Knight: *while chasing* You could say the excitement was, par for the course!

Sean: Well if you ask me, it’s par for the course!

Metabad and Dark Knight: *abruptly stop their chase*

Sean: Uh-oh…

Metabad and Dark Knight: IT COULD BE WORSE!

Sean: *is shocked with two lightning bolts* OW, I HATE YOU BOTH!

Dark Knight: *bursts out laughing*

Metabad: Rawking! *rawks*

Rebel: You said it.

*So thus our heroes returned their mobile fortress to Earth, where Void fulfilled his promise, as did Rebel, for all of them rested up after a hard days work. Everything was back to normal.*

Majin: Hickery doo doo poop!

Rebel: …Where the hell did he get that tutu?

Metabad: Beats me.

*As normal as things get around there that is.*

The End


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