A Night at the Movies

*Written by Rebel4000*

*One evening, on the Whale King…*

Dark Knight: Go, go!

Metabad: YOU CAN DO IT MAAAAAN!! *rawks in support*

Shadowstrike: Don’t let up, Rebel!

Rebel: *shoves Shadow out of the way* You’re breaking my concentration!

Sean: *runs into the room* Where’s a bathroom!?

Shadowstrike: Shh, Rebel is about to beat a game.

Sean: What game!?

Metabad: Only the most rawkin’ game in the universe.

Sean: Which is!?

Dark Knight: Trauma Center: Second Opinion.

Sean: Isn’t that some sort of Ace Attorney knock-off!?

Shadowstrike: OBJECTION!!

Phoenix: OBJECTION!!

Shadowstrike: …

Phoenix: …

Shadowstrike: …

Phoenix: Bucket-head. *leaves*

Shadowstrike: Damn it! *takes the bucket off*

Outlaw: *comes in* Hey guys, what”s up–*sees the game*–Whooooa, this game has some good stuff! *sits down and watches*

Sean: *starts hopping up and down* Outlaw, do you know where a bathroom is!? I need to go!

Outlaw: Can’t you just use the one right down the hall?

Sean: Someone removed the toilet!

Metabad: IT WASN’T ME!!

Outlaw, Shadowstrike, Dark Knight, Sean: …

Metabad: No, seriously! IT WASN’T!! I DIDN’T REMOVE IT AND PUT IT UP FOR SALE ON EBAY!!

Dark Knight: …How much did you get for it?

Metabad: Twelve.

Dark Knight: Dollars?

Metabad: Cents.

Sean: Who cares about that!? What about needing to go relieve ourselves!?

Dark Knight: Could be worse.

Sean: *shocked* Urrrrrrrgh!! DON’T DO THAT!!

Metabad: Could be worse!

Sean: *shocked again* I’M GOING TO EXPLOOOOOOOOOODE!!

Rebel: *trying to ignore the others* C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, C’MOOOOON!! *starts flinging the Wiimote like crazy*

Outlaw, Shadowstrike, Metabad, Dark Knight, Sean: Yikes! *dodges the remote*

Majin: *appears before Rebel* WEBELLLLL

Rebel: God damn it, Majin, MOVE!!

Majin: I JUSSSST WAAAAANNA SAAAAAY HIIIIIIIII

Rebel: *slams the Wiimote into Majin’s face, knocking him out*

Shadowstrike: Holy–

Dark Knight: Guess we really shouldn’t mess with a man on a mission, huh?

Rebel: Almost done… YES!! I’M GONNA MAKE IT!! THIS PATIENT’S LIFE IS IN GOOD HANDS–

*The game’s timer runs out.*

Rebel: …

Outlaw: Aww. Too bad, boss bug.

Shadowstrike: Guess you’ll just have to start over again…

Rebel: …

Metabad: Dude?

Dark Knight: Maybe he went into shock?

Majin: *comes to and sees Rebel silent* why so serious?

Rebel: *eye twitches violently*

Outlaw: Oh, crap.

Shadowstrike: RUN!! *takes off*

Sean: *looks to see everyone fleeing* Huh? Huh?

Rebel: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!

Sean: !! *hides under his shell*

Rebel: FUCK!! *storms out of the room, into the kitchen* FUCK!!

Void: *reading the paper at the table* Hm?

Rebel: FUCK!!

Void: Hm. *goes back to reading*

Rebel: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!

*In anger, Rebel opens up the fridge and pulls out a can of Coke. He then proceeds to guzzle it.*

Void: *not looking up* Feeling better?

Rebel: *throws the can on the ground* FUCK!! *grabs two more cans and guzzles them simultaneously*

Void: *gets up and places hand on Rebel on the shoulder* There, there. It’s okay. Some times you just have to accept defeat.

Rebel: *stops drinking and looks at Void* …

Void: What?

Rebel: You’re touching me.

Void: So?

Rebel: It’s… weird.

Void: …

Rebel: …

Void: …

Rebel: GET YOUR DAMN HAND OFF OF ME!!

Void: Jeeze, looks like someone is in a bad mood…

Shadowstrike: *peeks head into the room* Is it safe to enter?

Rebel: *throws can at Shadowstrike*

Shadowstrike: *gets hit in the face, instantly K.O.’d*

Dark Knight: Woo!! *runs into the room, standing next to Void* Didn’t think I was gonna survive that one… but here I am!

Void: *perplexed* What the Hell are you talking about?

Dark Knight: Well, our leader was going Rambo on us. You have to take safety percautions.

Void: What?

Dark Knight: Alas, poor Shadowstrike… his death shall not go down in vain!

Void: Shadow isn’t dead, though. He was just knocked out by a Coke can.

Dark Knight: No! Do not lie! I know what has happened. The truth cannot escape my grasp!

Rebel: *hits Dark Knight with a can*

Dark Knight: *insantly K.O.’d*

Metabad: *comes in holding Sean in front of him*

Sean: NO!! PUT ME DOWN!! HE’S A MURDER!! AND I STILL HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!!

Metabad: But if I get hit then that wouldn’t be rawkin’!

Void: …What is wrong with you people!?

Outlaw: *standing next to Void* Dunno.

Void: And when did you get in here?

Outlaw: Same time as Maj dude. *points*

Majin: *in the sink* where ruber ducky?

Rebel: *throws another empty can on the ground* …I have calm.

Everyone else: HOORAY!!

Rebel: Now to play the game again. *leaves*

Everyone else: NOT HOORAY!!

Void: Okay. I think we need to do something about this behavior.

Shadowstrike: *rubbing forehead* Uh… like what?

Void: Good question. Any suggestions?

Sean: BATHROOM!?

Void: Whoa, settle down there, Sean. I think that’s enough suggestions for today.

Rebel: *in the living room* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!

Outlaw: Sounds like he lost again.

Majin: y ur quils in spac?

Rebel: I HATE THIS STUPID GAME!! *ejects the disc from the Wii* You wanna mess with me, game!? YOU WANNA MESS WITH ME!? THEN DIIEEEEE!! *flings the disc at the tv, breaking both it and the screen*

Everyone else: Gasp!

Rebel: …Oops.

Outlaw: NO!! TV!!

Shadowstrike: …TV? TV!? SPEAK TO ME!! *tries flipping through the channels to no avail*

Dark Knight: How will I be able to live without this source of life and vitality!? HOW!? *gets on knees* WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE SUCH A CRUEL FATE!?

Void: *to Rebel* Good going, fearless leader.

Rebel: Shut up. *to Majin* Maj, be a good boy and clean this up. *leaves*

Majin: okies! *starts dusting* lalalala *picks up a piece of glass and cuts self* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Void: *face palms* That’s it… *follows Rebel*

Rebel: *drinking another Coke*

Void: What are you going to do about this mess?

Rebel: Nothing. Why?

Void: You broke the TV, so face up to your responsibilities!

Rebel: …Responsibilities? I have those?

Void: Not funny, Rebel.

Rebel: Void, give me one good reason why I should do something!

Sean: *runs in* CAN I PLEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASE JUST GO IN HERE!?

Rebel: Okay, let’s see a movie.

*Thus the ship lands at a nearby town. There, they head to the local movie theater.*

Shadowstrike: Awesome, the movies!

Metabad: This is rawksome! What’re we gonna watch?

Dark Knight: What’s even playing?

Outlaw: Ooh, how about this!? “The Thing in the Fridge”! What if the Thing is a piece of mold!?

Dark Knight: That would be freakin’ sweet!

Shadowstrike: Wait, what about this one!? “Bum Movie”! And check out the tagline–“OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST MOVIE I’VE EVER BEEN IN IN MY LIFE!!” This sounds like some serious epic work.

Majin: i approve of tis moveh good sir *thumbs up and burps*

Void: I want to watch the new science movie, “Journey to the Center of the Inside Out”. I heard it creates paradoxes just by merely watching it.

Metabad: BUT WAIT!! I WANT TO WATCH THIIIIIS!! *points to a flyer with a toilet* DREW THE TOILET!! I heard they just got a new actor from some site.

Sean: I… I… I WANT TO FIND A BATHROOM!! *claws at the poster*

Rebel: *ignoring Sean* We can’t all watch these different movies. We need to pick one.

Shadowstrike: Why?

Rebel: *face tightening* Because I’m paying for it.

Dark Knight: Then how about this one? “Star Wars: Episode Thirty”!

Rebel: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?

Dark Knight: Um…

Void: That movie sounds promising. Let’s see it.

Rebel: OH, NO!! NO, NO, NO!! NOT WATCHING EPISODE “THIRTY”!!

Outlaw: Relax, boss bug. It’s just Star Wars.

Rebel: “Just Star Wars”? “JUST STAR WARS”!? FOOL!! YOU HAVEN’T SEE ANYTHING!! YOU HAVEN’T SEEN ANYTHING AT ALL*!!

*See Series 2, Epilogue #19 “Dark Time”

Employee: Umm… excuse me?

Rebel: WHADDYA WANT!?

Employee: You guys have been standing in line forever… can you please hurry up and make a choice?

Rebel: Meh, we’ll see Drew the Toilet.

Metabad: RAWK TIME!! *rawks*

Sean: Oooooogh… *falls to the ground, shaking uncontrollably*

*Later…*

Dark Knight: Ahh… this is it! You can’t watch a movie without being right in front of the screen!

Void: *further back* I’m not about to go deaf, thank you.

Shadowstrike: I’m too tall to sit in the front… Can most of us even fit in these seats?

Dark Knight: Spoiled sports. *sits down near the back*

Majin: *sits down and has the seat snap on him* ITS EATEN MEH

Audience: *turns around and shushes*

Majin: im sry things just get complimicated for me ;_;

Rebel: *opens a bottle of Coke* Where the Hell is Outlaw with the snacks?

Sean: Where is the bathroom.

Rebel: Get away from me.

Outlaw: *comes in with arms overflowing with food* I’m back.

Everyone else: Whoa!

Void: Did you get enough stuff?

Outlaw: What’re you talking about? There is no such thing as enough food.

Shadowstrike: Pass the popcorn my way!

Dark Knight: Give me some of that!

Rebel: *snatches a hotdog and consumes it*

Majin: heeeeere soda *reaches for a bottle*

Rebel: *smacks Majin’s hand away*

Majin: *yelps*

Outlaw: It’s okay, Maj dude. I got you some of this. *hands him a bottle of beer*

Majin: tx very much gud sir *chugs*

Metabad: *fighting Dark Knight for the nachos* IT’S MINE!!

Dark Knight: NO IT’S MINE!!

Metabad: MINE!!

Dark Knight: MINE!!

Audience: *turns around and shushes*

Metabad and Dark Knight: DON’T SHUSH US!!

Man: *gets up* Say that to my face.

Metabad and Dark Knight: SHHHHHH.

Man: *grabs Dark Knight and throws him*

Dark Knight: *crashes into the wall* Oh… it’s on now!

Metabad: GET HIM!! *tackles*

Man: Little brats!

*The three take their fight outside. The rest just sit there.*

Outlaw: … *eats a potatoe chip*

Majin: *still stuck in his seat* i liek jesus?

Rebel, Void, Shadowstrike: …

Majin: …u liek jesus?

Rebel: …Shut up, Majin.

Majin: *cries*

Sean: *shaking uncontrollably* Urrrrrrgh… Can someone please help me…

Void: Shh, the movie is gonna start soon.

*Indeed, the lights started to dim as the previews began.*

Narrator: THIS SPRING… GET READY FOR ACTION!! GET READY FOR… SEARCHING!!

*Waldo appears on the screen.*

Narrator: “WHERE’S WALDO?: THE MOVIE”!!

Rebel: *jumps out of his seat* Waldo!?

Shadowstrike: Uh-oh.

Waldo: *sees Rebel* Aw, crap.

Rebel: *starts running toward the screen* YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE ME THIS TIME!!

Void: No, Rebel! You can’t reach him!

Rebel: WAAAAAAALLLLLLLLDOOOOOOOOOOO!! *slams into the screen and knocks himself out*

Waldo: HA! HA! *runs off*

Outlaw: *has a bucket of popcorn stuck on his mouth* Don’t you just hate it when that happens? I did that once when I tried to catch Batman in The Dark Knight. Speaking of which, what happened to DK and Meta dude?

*Outside*

Dark Knight: *sitting on top of the man* And that’s why you don’t mess with da Dark Knight!

Metabad: I totally rawked in that fight! *rawks*

Dark Knight: *looks at a clock* Oh crap! The movie is starting! WE CAN’T MISS IT!! *runs back in*

Metabad: *still rawking*

Dark Knight: *runs back out and drags Metabad back in*

*Back inside*

Metabad and Dark Knight: *sits down*

Void: Where have you two been?

Dark Knight: Kicking ass. Duh.

Metabad: DUH.

Void: Whatever.

Majin: heehee i cant feel my legs anymore

Void: Will someone help Majin already?

Shadowstrike: What about Rebel?

Dark Knight: What happened to him?

Shadowstrike: He knocked himself out trying to catch Waldo.

Rebel: *waking back up* Urgh… where’s Waldo? WALDO!? NO!! HOW DARE YOU RUN AWAY FROM ME!! *gets on his knees and screams* WAAAAAAALLLLLDOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Audience: *shushes*

Rebel: Don’t tell me to shush! I’m in the middle of extreme screaming here! WAAAAAAALLLLLDOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Outlaw: This could be a movie right here! Hey, could someone pass me some pretzels?

Shadowstrike: I think Sean had the pretzels.

Dark Knight: *to Sean* Give the man some pretzels!

Sean: *falls out of his chair, foaming*

Dark Knight: Freak. *gets the pretzels himself*

Outlaw: Much obliged. *eats one* Mmm, needs some seasoning. *pulls out a bottle and starts sprinkling it*

Void: What is in that bottle?

Outlaw: Oh, just some stuff.

Void: Like…?

Outlaw: Who knows! That’s what adds on to the flavor! Want some?

Void: I’ll pass.

Dark Knight: I’ll take some of that!

Metabad: Sounds like a rawkin’ idea!

Sean: *having convulsions*

Shadowstrike: Is Sean okay?

Rebel: *sitting back down* Meh, just shock him a few times and he’ll okay.

Metabad: Could be worse!

Sean: *is shocked but does not respond*

Dark Knight: Look at that, you broke him!

Metabad: I DIDN’T MEAN TO!!

Void: Will you guys quiet down already? The movie is actually starting this time!

*With that the previews ended and the movie of the century, Drew the Toilet, began to play.*

Drew the Toilet: Hi, my name’s Drew. And I’m a toilet. My hobbies are letting people sit on me, letting people piss on me, and letting people throw up on me.

Majin: hes teh bestest friend i ever had *barfs*

Rebel, Outlaw, Void, Shadowstrike, Metabad, Dark Knight: UGH!!

Drew: Life for me was pretty dull, until one day…

Everyone else: Yes…?

Drew: Until one day…

Everyone else: Yes?

Drew: Until one day…

Everyone else: YES!?

Drew: Until one day…

Outlaw: I think he’s stuck, guys.

Majin: kinda liek me!

Rebel: Figures. What are those idiots up there doing!?

???: Huzzah!

Everyone else: Huh?

Balrog: *explodes from the camera room* I’M HERE EVERYONE!!

Shadowstrike: Hey! It’s that frog guy! From Serges’ New X-Hunters!

Balrog: “Frog guy”? I’m Balrog! And I’m here to put an end to you, Island Attackers, under the orders of my master!

Void: So… you ruined a perfectly good movie to do so?

Balrog: Huh?

Dark Knight: We were watching a movie.

Metabad: I WANT TO SEE DREW THE TOILET!!

Balrog: Oops, sorry about that. *fixes the equipment to let it play* I just couldn’t help myself.

Outlaw: No prob. Wanna watch it with us?

Balrog: Sure! *sits down next to the Island Attackers* Can I have some popcorn?

Shadowstrike: *passes it*

Balrog: How about some soda?

Rebel: *passes it*

Balrog: Any Twix?

Outlaw: *passes it*

Balrog: …I want some Reeses!

Audience: *turns around and shushes*

Balrog: …Sorry…

Drew: *watching the house he’s in being demolished* Soon, they’ll take me down as well…

Balrog: *tearing up* No, Drew! No! Don’t let them smash you!

Dark Knight: Dude, shut up.

Balrog: BUT THIS IS THE BEST PART!!

Metabad: *blowing a tissue* BOOHOO.

Void: *glancing around* Psst… guys, where did Sean go?

Dark Knight: I thought he was still on the floor…

Man: *walks up to DK* Your snail friend just collapsed in the lobby.

Dark Knight: What? *runs to the lobby*

Sean: *curled up in a ball in the middle of the room*

Dark Knight: *stands over Sean* …

Sean: …

Dark Knight: …

Sean: …

Dark Knight: …Dude, what the fuck is your problem.

Sean: THERE ARE NO BATHROOMS AROUND ANYWHERE!!

Dark Knight: Just go to the bathroom in front of you. *points*

Sean: CAN’T YOU SEE THE LINE!? I’LL EXPLODE BEFORE THEN!!

Dark Knight: Could be worse. *leaves*

Sean: *is shocked* GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!

*Back in with the rest…*

Drew: I managed to survive my destruction somehow… I must now go! To find my owners and reunite with them once more!

Metabad: This movie is rawkin’.

Dark Knight: *comes back* What’d I miss?

Rebel: Everything.

Dark Knight: Damn it! That Sean wasted my time!

Majin: i dont wury 2 much about teh details meself hic

Void: Okay, now let’s just watch the movie in peace.

Outlaw: Works for me.

Shadowstrike: Go find them, Drew. Make us proud.

*Thus Drew the Toilet sets off on his epic journey. All appears to be well.*

Balrog: *explodes from his chair* WHEN ARE WE GOING TO FIGHT ALREADY!?

Shadowstrike: Well, so much for that.

Rebel: Enough of this nonsense! Island Attackers… ATTACK!!

*The Island Attackers assault Balrog head on, causing everyone in the theater to clear out in fear.*

Outlaw: Spin Wheel! *fires*

Balrog: Oh-ho! Don’t think so! *jumps over the attack*

Outlaw: Shoot! For such a big guy he sure does know how to move!

Balrog: Now it’s my turn! *releases a barrage of projectiles at Outlaw*

Void: I don’t think so! *fires a charged energy beam at the projectiles, destroying them*

Outlaw: Whew, thanks Void!

Void: Don’t thank me yet–he’s still standing!

Shadowstrike: I’ll get him! *runs behind Balrog and grabs him*

Balrog: LEMME GO!! *squirms*

Shadowstrike: Someone help!

Metabad: I think he needs help.

Dark Knight: Obviously.

Metabad: Maybe someone should help him?

Shadowstrike: HELP!!

Outlaw: Hang on! *fires a set of Spin Wheels*

Balrog: YOU WON’T TAKE ME ALIVE!! *breaks free*

Shadowstrike: Crap! *sees the wheels coming* AAHHH!! *jumps out of the way as the wheels go flying past*

Outlaw: Um… whoops?

Rebel: Come on, quit goofing off and get him! We’re missing the movie!

Balrog: Catch me if you can! *starts flying up in the air*

Metabad: The indoors is perfect for me! *hops onto a wall, propelling himself off and into Balrog*

Balrog: Huh?

Metabad: SPEED BURNER!! *smashes his fist into Balrog’s face*

Balrog: OW!! *crashes back to the floor*

Rebel: All right, time to go all out! DK!

Dark Knight: I’m on it!

*Grabbing hold of Dark Knight, Rebel teleports them both up above Balrog upside-down. Then, with both Rebel’s tail and DK’s pincers extended, they slam into Balrog!*

Balrog: *is getting crushed* GACK!!

Dark Knight: *rolls back onto the floor, holding his head* Okay… that attack wasn’t such a good idea…

Rebel: Tch! He’s a lot tougher than he looks. That barely put a dent in him!

Balrog: *getting back up* You guys are GONNA PAY FOR THAT!! *unleashes a flurry of energy attacks*

Rebel, Outlaw, Void, Shadowstrike, Metabad, Dark Knight: Agh! *gets knocked into the walls*

Balrog: Whew… Huh?

Majin: *still stuck in his chair* woopy doo dah dah

Balrog: YOU!! You wanna mess with this!?

Majin: nopez

Balrog: Oh. Okay.

Majin: tis movie is funeh

Balrog: The movie!? Well, I guess I can watch some more. *sits down and watches it with Majin* So what do you think about it?

Majin: i feel tat tis movie pushes teh boundaries of teh filming industry by simplifying itself rather than use teh fancy stuf liek 3D grafix

Balrog: …

Majin: 3D makes stuf purty

Balrog: …

Majin: i liek purty stuf

Balrog: THAT MAKES NO SENSE!! *grabs Majin’s chair and throws it into the lobby*

Majin: HOORAY *crashes into the floor*

Balrog: Now… back to business–*has a Coke bottle smashed over his head and collapses*

Rebel: All right, that sucked.

Void: Saved by a Coke bottle… Never thought I’d see the day.

Rebel: The Coke bottle’s life will not be in vain.

Shadowstrike: Let’s watch the movie already.

Outlaw: I’ll get Majin. *heads for the lobby* Let’s go, Maj dude. *drags his chair back in*

Sean: *still curled up* Why won’t anyone help me?

Man: Hey buddy, it’s your turn to use the bathroom.

Sean: Huh!? *looks up* It’s my turn… IT’S MY TURN!! YES!!

*Sean gets up and starts walking toward the bathroom.*

Employee: *gets in Sean’s way* Whoa, hold on buddy. It’s a mess in there. I’ve gotta clean it.

Sean: W-what? B-b-b-but–

Employee: I’ll need to close the bathroom. For a few hours. ‘Cause it’s a mess. *goes inside and locks himself in*

Sean: … *falls back to the floor, shaking uncontrollably*

*Thus the rest of the team watches the movie. The end.*

Balrog: *springs back awake* WAIT!! LET’S DO THIS AGAIN!!

Rebel, Outlaw, Void, Majin, Shadowstrike, Metabad, Dark Knight: *groan*

Balrog: Pleeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaase?

Rebel, Outlaw, Void, Majin, Shadowstrike, Metabad, Dark Knight: NO!!

Balrog: WHY NOT!?

Rebel, Outlaw, Void, Majin, Shadowstrike, Metabad, Dark Knight: MOVIE.

Balrog: So… wait… if the movie ends then we can fight?

Rebel: Whatever floats your boat.

Shadowstrike: Just go away.

Balrog: …I HAVE AN IDEA!! *runs off to where the projector is*

Dark Knight: He wouldn’t dare…

Balrog: *destroys the equipment*

Drew: I finally found them! I’M HERE–*disappears*

Shadowstrike: DREW!?

Metabad: IT WAS GETTING TO THE GOOD PART, TOO!! NOT RAWKIN’!!

Majin: *has a single tear roll down his cheek*

Void: Okay. He has ruined our movie night. What do you suggest we do?

Outlaw: Go somewhere else?

Void: Close.

*The CIA barges into the room where Balrog is!*

Balrog: *sees them pissed* Uh-oh.

Rebel: WHAT’S GOING ON IN HERE!?

Balrog: Um… *covers the damage* Nothing?

Rebel: GOD DAMN IT.

Dark Knight: IT’S TIME TO DIE LUNCHBOX!!

Balrog: NO!!

*Using their combined powers, the CIA blast Balrog so hard he crashes through the wall and goes flying into the street.*

Balrog: *getting back up* Ow… Eh?

Shadowstrike: *has a club in hand*

Rebel: *pulls out his beam saber*

Outlaw: *holding a Spin Wheel*

Void: *charging his energy beam*

Majin: *swinging his chains*

Dark Knight: *cracking his knuckles*

Metabad: *with a guitar*

Rebel, Outlaw, Void, Majin, Shadowstrike, Dark Knight: *looks at Metabad*

Metabad: CAN’T I JUST RAWK!?

Balrog: *backs away* I DIDN’T MEAN TO!! *backs into a girl* HELP MEEEEEEEE!! THESE GUYS HAVE GONE NUTS!!

???: *shoves a clump of sand in Balrog’s mouth*

Balrog: *spits it out* PFFFFFT!! THAT SAND IS HOT!!

???: SAND FOR EVERYOOOOOONE!! *pours a gallon of sand on Balrog*

Balrog: OW!! IT’S HOT!!

Rebel: The Hell?

Balrog: *is getting buried in sand* THE SAND BUUUUURNS!!

???: EVERYONE NEEDS MORE SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!

Void: …I’m confused.

Shadowstrike: Who is this?

???: SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!

Outlaw: I’m gonna go out on a limb here and translate. I think her name is “Flannery”.

Flannery: SAND FOR EVERYOOOOOOONE!!

Dark Knight: Riiiiight. Well, thanks for completely humiliating one of our villains… I guess…

Balrog: *is incapable of getting out of the sand*

Flannery: You want some sand?

Dark Knight: Huh?

Flannery: SAND!! *throws some sand at the team*

Void: Very confused…

Rebel: *the sand hits his feet* Yeah. I’m like, incapable of feeling that stuff. Since I’m a Reploid and all.

Flannery: …

Rebel: …

Flannery: SAND!! *throws some sand in Rebel’s eyes*

Rebel: FUCKING SHIT!! *falls down*

Flannery: SAND FOR EVERYOOOOOOOONE!! *throws some more about*

Outlaw: *eats some* Not bad.

Void: Shadow, you must know more about this “sand stuff” than the rest of us. Go try and talk to her.

Shadowstrike: Um…

Flannery: Do you like sand?

Shadowstrike: Uh… I guess?

Flannery: GOOD!! *hits Shadow in the face with a bag of sand*

Shadowstrike: AAHHHH!! HOT!! HOT!! HOT!! *runs around helplessly*

Metabad: Dude, she totally pwned him!

Majin: liek ur face LOL

Outlaw: *snacking on some more sand* Hey guys, you should try this stuff.

Void: What the Hell are you talking about?

Outlaw: I have no clue.

Void: Let’s just go.

Rebel: *wiping the sand out of his eyes* I agree. This night has been horrible. *leaves*

Flannery: SAAAAAAAAAAAAND!! *follows*

Rebel, Outlaw, Void, Majin, Shadowstrike, Metabad, Dark Knight: …

Flannery: *bumps into the group* Oof!

Dark Knight: Just what are you doing?

Flannery: Following?

Shadowstrike: No offense, but you can’t follow us.

Flannery: Why not?

Outlaw: It’s probably because you’re a girl.

Flannery: Soooo?

Rebel: So you’re weird.

Flannery: I LIKE SAND!!

Shadowstrike: *finally getting the sand out* Yeah, well, I changed my mind–I hate it. *gets hit with more sand to the face* NOOOO!!

Majin: hic i don liek teh sandy stuf but i shur do liek teh get jiggy wif it *starts breakdancing*

Metabad: Now you’re talking! *rawks*

Flannery: JIGGY SAND!! *throws some sand into the air*

Dark Knight: What the Hell is up with your obsession with sand!?

Flannery: I DON’T KNOW IT MUST BE FROM ALL OF THE SAND.

Void: *rubbing his temples* All right, all right! Can we just go already!?

Flannery: AS LONG AS I DON’T FORGET MY SAND.

*Finally, the group leaves with Flannery. As soon as they do, Misery appears…*

Misery: *uses her magic to get Balrog out from under the sand* Why, if it isn’t the television set!

Balrog: MISERY!! WERE YOU WATCHING ME THIS WHOLE TIME!?

Misery: I can’t trust you to do anything right. Hence why I’m here. And since I just witnessed your stunning performance against… sand…

Balrog: …

Misery: The master is going to absolutely love hearing about this.

Balrog: NO!! *grabs Misery* DON’T SAY ANYTHING!!

Misery: Well, I may be inclined to keep silent if you do some chores for me, most of which will require you to run around in circles for three and a half hours.

Balrog: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT!?

*Later, onboard the Whale King…*

Dark Knight: *pushing Flannery out* Okay, we took you back home. Now get.

Flannery: *sees nothing but jungle* Is there sand here?

Dark Knight: Sure. Whatever. *slams the door in her face*

Flannery: YAY FOR SAND!! *runs off into the wild*

Metabad: That girl was rawkin’!

Dark Knight: Just shut up already.

*Inside the ship*

Sean: *finally under control* So let me get this straight… you were attacked by Balrog, and right when you were about to beat the crap out of him some weird girl showed up and buried him in a pile of sand? And then you let her on board the ship to take her to the jungle?

Rebel: Yes.

Sean: I hope you’re happy.

Rebel: Not really. I wanted to see the end of Drew the Toilet.

The End

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