*Written by Metabad*
Metabad: Wolf O’Donnell is in cahoots with Bill Gates… And they are not happy. Wolf isn’t gonna let you do that, you know…
Leon: Didn’t expect to see THE GREAT LEON again, did you?
Metabad: Wolf may not let you do that, but Leon is too great for his craziness.
Pigma: I’ll get that reward yet, or my name isn’t Pigma Dengar!
Andrew: AND I’LL AVENGE MY UNCLE ANDROSS! FOR I AM ANDREW OIKONNY!
Pigma: But Andross isn’t dead.
Wolf: You moron!
Leon: I ought to skin you alive for your idiocy…
Rebel: This makes no sense…
Wolf: How so, Centipede?
Rebel: MY NAME IS REBEL!
Metabad: I believe what my fellow Super Awesome Fighting Force partner is TRYING to say, is that didn’t you guys like, oh, I dunno, DIE?
Leon: We got better.
Rebel: …But how?
Andrew: Some weird entity brought us back to life… randomly.
Pigma: Yeah, Andrew’s right for once.
Andrew: YAY ME!
Outlaw: Hold it here! What exactly was the name of this entity?
Leon: I believe it was called… Randomness… if I’m not mistaken.
Dark Knight: See Void? SEE? WE TOLD YOU HE WAS REAL, BUT YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE US!
Void: Oh come now, that’s ridiculous.
Outlaw: Is it now?
Void: As a matter of fact, it is, and I refuse to believe it.
Dark Knight: Then what do you think could have happened, hmm?
Void: Well, there has to be some sort of scientific explanation…
Rebel: Wolf did survive; I know that for a fact.
Wolf: Yeah… you left me on that planet to die…
Rebel: Aren’t I great?
Wolf: I want a rematch!
Void: Alright, I figured it out, mind you it’s just a simple theory but here it goes… *ahem* Wolf must have made a deal with the New X-Hunters for Misery to bring Wolf’s teammates back in exchange for their services towards them, but once they were brought back through Misery’s magic Star Wolf ditched them in favour of working for Bill Gates.
Rebel: …That’s ridiculous.
Void: Then how else could they have come back?
Rebel: A wizard did it.
Metabad: *shrugs* Good enough.
Sean: Works for me.
Leon: Quit your petty bickering and come face us. *draws knife*
Wolf: Yes, what Leon said, I’m growing impatient. *draws blaster*
Pigma: *draws chicken wing*
Pigma: …What? I was just eating over here…
Leon: …How your fat carcass fit in a cloak, I’ll never know…
Wolf: Good one Leon! *rawks*
Leon: Hahaha… *rawks*
Rebel and Metabad: WHAT?!
Rebel: Oh you did NOT!
Wolf: Oh, I did…
Leon: Rawking was essentially the way you defeated me, annoying stag… so I thought I would take that little gimmick of yours, and Wolf and I could create our own “rawking” duo.
Metabad: YOU RIPOFFS, WE’LL RAWK YOUR NIGHT AWAY SO HARD YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO SLEEP, BUDDY!
Leon: We’ll see about that…
Rebel: Code: Island Attackers… ATTACK!
Wolf: Not so fast!
*Suddenly Star Wolf pulled out neutralizing guns and shot at Shadowstrike, Dark Knight, Void and Outlaw specifically*
Shadowstrike: GAH, what the?
Outlaw: I can’t move!
Void: What is the meaning of this nonsense?
Dark Knight: What is this?
Wolf: Oh, those were our own personal neutralizers.
Leon: What they do is… they freeze whoever they hit for a limited amount of time.
Pigma: That’s all the time we need to get rid of you poor losers!
Andrew: It makes it much more balanced too… I mean, 8 against 4 isn’t really fair and it would only make me cry, 4 on 4 is much better and makes me very happy… because when I’m not happy, Uncle Andross is not happy, and when Uncle Andross is not happy WORLDS ARE DESTROYED!
Rebel: Well team, looks like we’ll have to give it our all against these guys.
Sean: Let’s make sure they stay dead this time.
Metabad: Yeah, defying the laws of life and death like that is NOT RAWKSOME!
Majin: I like beans. 🙂
Wolf: What are we waiting for? STAR WOLF, ATTACK!
Rebel: TO WAR!
*So Rebel, Metabad, Sean and Majin once again went up against Wolf, Leon, Pigma and Andrew, they charged at each other ready to settle the score in hand to hand combat*
*Rebel vs. Wolf*
Wolf: Come on, Centipede! I expect a good fight… FIRE WOLF! *Jumps in the air and wind gathers around him as he hurtles towards Rebel*
Rebel: *Swiftly dodges* Right back at ya, slick. *Jumps in the air, ready to strike*
Wolf: Grr… WOLF FLASH! *speeds upwards at 35 degrees, leaving a purple mist behind him and strikes Rebel*
Rebel: Gah! *knocked back a ways*
Wolf: What’s the matter, scared?
Rebel: *teleports behind Wolf* No, not at all. *Gets Wolf in a headlock*
Rebel: This is the end!
Wolf: Not quite. *Rams elbow into Rebel’s ribs*
Rebel: Ow, damn! *stumbles back, releasing the hold*
Wolf: Gotten soft on me? I’m disappointed…
Rebel: On the contrary, I’m just warming up! *throws shuriken at Wolf*
Wolf: *The shuriken slightly nicks his fur* For your sake I hope you’re right… *aims blaster and fires*
Rebel: *Draws sword and deflects it, although is knocked back a little ways*
*Metabad vs. Leon*
Metabad: YOU WILL NOT LIVE TO TELL THE TALE OF THE RAWKERS!
Leon: Oh, won’t I? *swings knife wildly at Metabad*
Metabad: Gad seuks! *slightly dodges them all*
Leon: Hahaha… *camouflages and then runs behind Metabad and stabs him through the arm*
Metabad: …Oh god, OH GOD!
Metabad: I JUST KNEW IT!
Metabad: I JUST KNEW THAT I WAS MADE OF KNIVES*!
*See: Series 3, Epilogue #35 “Metavania”*
Leon: …Huh? *Becomes visible once more*
Metabad: What’s that noise? *spins around like Michael Jackson* Oh, it’s you.
Michael Jackson: *slaps Metabad for stealing his moves*
Metabad: OW, BITCH!
Michael: Oh, and he’s behind you now.
Metabad: kk *spins around normally this time* Hey Leon.
Leon: Hi Stag.
Michael: Hi boys, AH-HEE-HEE-HEE!
Metabad: …Okay, that guy’s scary…
Leon: He scares even me, and I’m the one obsessed with torture here!
Metabad: Oh, you think you could pull this knife out of me, by any chance?
Leon: Oh, sure… *pulls knife out*
Metabad: YEOWCH! That smarts, but thanks man.
Leon: No problem, old chap.
Metabad: Hey, why aren’t you acting mean to me anymore?
Leon: Well, after that whole knife thing, I realized that you didn’t seem hurt by it, so I said to myself “Ahh forget it…”
Metabad: Oh, but stealing our rawking trait still wasn’t cool of you… besides you can’t just automatically rawk, you gotta be born with such a skill.
Leon: Well then perhaps we shall discuss this over a tea?
Metabad: Okay, but I’d rather drink coke.
Leon: Very well.
Metabad: You in, Michael?
Michael: Sure. *crotch grab* AH-HEE-HEE-HEE!
Leon and Metabad: WHOA, CALM DOWN!
*Metabad wins… friendship?*
*Sean vs. Pigma*
Sean: Alright you fat pig, this time I’ll be sure to defeat you for good!
Pigma: *eating chips*
Sean: What? WHY ARE YOU EATING AT A TIME LIKE THIS?
Pigma: mrrrpph–*chomp* wel–*chewed up food splatters all over Sean*
Sean: EWWWWWW YOU GOT IT ALL OVER ME! *frantically tries to wipe off all the chewed up food*
Pigma: ‘Ey that’s a good look for you.
Sean: *knocks chip bag out of Pigma’s hands*
Pigma: HEY!!! I WAS EATING THOSE! I JUST BOUGHT THEM TOO!
Sean: Meh, it could be worse.
Sean: Seriously you should stop whining… there will always be more chips in the sea.
Sean: …What’s with the silent act?
Sean: …Wait… OH CRAP!
*And so Sean was struck by a bolt of lightning as usual, which caused Pigma to laugh his ass off, but not literally*
Pigma: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MAN, YOU STUPID LITTLE SNAIL, AH HA HA HA!
Sean: Grr… *charges at Pigma*
Pigma: *still laughing*
Sean: *latches onto Pigma* PREPARE TO BE FRIED PORK!
Pigma: What the?!
Sean: Relax… IT COULD ALWAYS BE MUCH WORSE!
*This time both Sean and Pigma were fried by the lightning bolt*
Pigma: ARRRGGGGHHHH THE PAIN! *passes out*
Sean: Well that fight sucked…
Roger Ebert: It was far too short for my liking, rather predictable and uneventful, what do you think Roeper?
Richard Roeper: I too thought this fight was lacking, it was missing all of the elements that make fight scenes such as this great.
Gene Siskel: I think we can all agree that this fight scene was quite insulting to our intelligence, I for one, give this a thumbs down. *sticks thumbs down*
Ebert: Wait, aren’t you dead?
Roeper: Yeah, I guess he is… I did replace him on your show after all.
Siskel: Oh darn it, you guys figured me out! *Turns into a ghost*
Ebert and Roeper: HOLY CRAP!
Siskel: I AM THE GHOST OF SISKEL PAST!
Ebert and Roeper: AHHHHHHHHH! *runs away*
Siskel: OOOOOOO! *chases after them*
Sean: Well that was weird… where did they come from anyways?
*Meanwhile in the Microsoft Headquarters… what? I didn’t say Bill Gates was in there? WELL HE IS NOW!*
Gates: Status report on the prisoners, Master Chief?
Master Chief: Well, sir, Siskel became a ghost since he’s technically dead, and he scared off Roeper and Ebert… as for Michael Jackson, him, Leon, and some kind of strange deer are all hanging out.
Gates: Oh, why can’t my prisoners behave like normal prisoners and stay imprisoned? *sighs* Oh well… so you need anything, Chief?
Master Chief: I need a weapon…
Gates: To help me against the CIA?
Master Chief: You could say that…
Gates: Alright, here you go. *gives Master Chief a gun*
Master Chief: *takes it* Now… TO SHOOT THE SHIT OUT OF RANDOM PEOPLE AND TEABAG THEM, PWNED BITCH! PWWWWWWNED! *Runs off firing his gun like mad and laughing maniacally*
Gates: Aww jeez… that’s the third time this week!
*Majin vs. Andrew*
Andrew: Do I REALLY have to fight this guy again, seriously?
Majin: UR MY BEST FRIEND! *hugs Andrew*
Majin: Ooo, you make me live
You’re the best friend
That I ever had
Andrew: GET OFF OF ME! *shoves Majin off him*
Majin: Majin saaaaaaaad 😦
Andrew: He doesn’t even know what he’s doing!
Majin: X-CUSE ME? :@
Andrew: Uh-oh… I think I angered him…
Majin: Im gonna take u back 2 rome young man!
Andrew: OH CRAP! *runs*
Majin: Ya u betr run! *hic*
*Majin wins… I guess*
Majin: Loopyyyyyyyyy… *throws beer bottle in Andrew’s general direction, and it shatters on Andrew’s head*
Andrew: ACK! HELP ME UNCLE ANDROSS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… *passes out*
Majin: I stil say he look funnie! Like cloon…
*Okay, Majin won for sure*
Majin: I 1der wat happin to all da rickrolls in da werld…
Rick Astley: We’re no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitments what I’m thinking of
You wouldn’t get this from any other guy
Majin: O SNAP UR HERE!
Astley: I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling
Gotta make you understand
Majin: NEVER GANNA GRAB UR SKIRT
NEVER GANNA CALL U KURT
NEVER GANNA FART TO DA MOON
SO IT EXPLODES!
Majin: NEVER GANNA DIE N ROT
NEVER GONNA NOT B HOTT
NEVER GONNA BE uhh o poop… I 4got…
Astley: …Way to butcher my song! *runs away*
Majin: Aww he gon… o wel… I’M A SCATMAN!
Scatman John: *comes in and slaps Majin* NO! Don’t you butcher my song too! BAD MAJIN, BAD!
Majin: WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! *dances while crying*
*We now go back to Rebel vs. Wolf*
Wolf: Surely you can do better than this. *swings claws at Rebel’s head*
Rebel: *raises arms in a defensive stance, blocking both of Wolf’s arms* Likewise. *Strikes Wolf in the stomach, sending him flying back*
Wolf: Gahhh… grrr… *takes out blaster and fires multiple rounds*
Rebel: *evades most of the shots through teleportation*
Wolf: Hmm… *jumps in the air and performs his Fire Wolf attack, ramming right into Rebel*
Rebel: Augh! *knocked on the ground*
Wolf: Looks like WE win today, Centipede. *stomps foot down on Rebel’s chest*
Rebel: …I don’t think so! *grabs Wolf’s leg and pulls it down*
Wolf: What the heck?! *stumbles and falls over*
Rebel: *uppercuts Wolf*
Wolf: *is sent flying back* You’re good…
Rebel: *charges at Wolf, with his sword raised*
Wolf: BUT I’M BETTER! *A reflective barrier forms around him*
*Rebel tries to slow down but he ends up running right into it, the barrier knocks him back while it electrocutes him*
Wolf: Hahaha! I tire of these pitiful games…
Rebel: *slowly gets up* You’re not getting the best of me.
Wolf: Let’s end this! *charges at Rebel, teeth bared and claws extended*
Rebel: I’ll end you! *charges at Wolf once more, with his sword raised*
*The two are about to strike each other when all of a sudden the Star Wolf theme is heard*
Rebel: *stops running* Huh?
Wolf: *stops running as well* That’s mine! *Takes out cell phone and answers it* Yeah?
Gates: Wolf, this is Bill Gates.
Wolf: Oh, hey Gates.
Gates: I just wanted to let you know that I finally finished repairing your Wolfen ships.
Wolf: It’s about time… *hangs up cell phone and puts it back in his pocket* Leon, let’s get out of here.
Metabad: Leaving so soon?
Leon: It appears so, goodbye. *walks up to Wolf* So our ships are finally ready?
Wolf: Yeah, we just need to get into the HQ.
Leon: Alright, then–*looks over at Pigma and Andrew* What in Lylat happened to them?
Wolf: I guess they passed out. *shrugs*
Leon: …Should we go over and help them?
Wolf: Nah, Pigma’s greed always got in the way of things…
Leon: Hmm yes, too true… and that Andrew, what a sniveling coward he is.
Wolf: Oh don’t even get me started on him! We’ll find other more competent people to recruit for Star Wolf.
Leon: Well then… let us be off.
Rebel: Hold on a minute, I’m not ending this fight here!
Wolf: It seems like the tables have turned, Centipede… because now… MY RIDE IS HERE! *Runs into the HQ accompanied by Leon*
*Rebel begins to chase after them, but the door automatically closes and locks in place as soon as Wolf and Leon enter the building*
Rebel: Damn it… I guess I’ll just have to blow this door open! *Sets up mines on the door*
Metabad: Oh man this is gonna be rawksome! *takes out popcorn*
Michael: *takes out Jesus juice* Want some?
Metabad: NOOOOOO! *slaps Michael across the face*
Michael: I’ve been hit by
I’ve been hit by
A smooth criminal!
Metabad: Damn straight! *dances*
*Suddenly two upgraded Wolfen ships break through the windows*
Wolf: Thanks for the Wolfens fool, we’ll be off now!
Gates: BLASTED TRAITORS! I promised you all a high rank in my Microsoft Empire, I upgraded your piece of junk ships and this is how you repay me?
Wolf: Sorry Gates, but we’re mercenaries… we got our payment and now we’re leaving!
Pigma: *slowly wakes up* Ugh… Hey Wolf, are our Wolfens complete?
Wolf: For Leon and I, yes. But as for you, well…
Leon: You’re fired because we don’t like you.
Wolf: Yes, Leon’s right… plus you’ve disobeyed so many of my orders… I’m fed up with your disloyalty.
Pigma: WHAT?! But you can’t do this!
Andrew: *wakes up* …Hey, Wolf… Leon, where are you guys going?
Pigma: THEY’RE LEAVING US HERE!
Andrew: THEY ARE?
Leon: So long, cowardly ape!
*Both Wolf and Leon fly off into the sky*
Andrew: WAAAAAAAAH! THEY DON’T LOVE ME ANYMORE!
Pigma: Did they ever love you in the first place? *Sighs* This sucks…
Pigma: WAIT, THE CIA, I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THEM!
Andrew: OH SHI–
Pigma: LET’S TAKE OUR RAGE OUT ON THEM!
Andrew: YEAHHHHH! *Looks around* Uh… where’d they go?
Pigma: *Sees the blown open door to the Microsoft HQ* Oh, they’re in there already…
Andrew: Aww dang… we missed them…
Pigma: Not quite, let’s go in there and show them a two or thing!
Andrew: You a mean thing or two?
Pigma: Yeah, that’s what I just said.
Andrew: No, you said a two or thing.
Pigma: DON’T CORRECT ME YOU FECES FLINGING WUSS! *whacks Andrew upside the head*
Andrew: Owww… *cries*
Pigma: Stop crying and follow me… the sooner we get this done–
Andrew: THE SOONER I CAN FINALLY WORK DIRECTLY FOR UNCLE ANDROSS AND MAYBE GET AN AWESOME SHIP LIKE HIM!
Pigma: I was going to say get revenge on both Wolf and Leon but whatever floats your boat… now COME ON! *Storms into the HQ*
Andrew: IT’LL BE SO GREAT AND I’LL GET A GIANT SHIP THAT LOOKS LIKE MY HEAD WITH FLOATING ARMS JUST LIKE MY OLD UNCLE ANDROSS, AND–Hey Pigma, where’d you go? …Oh… the HQ… my bad… *walks into the HQ*
*Meanwhile, the CIA pressed on through the Microsoft Headquarters, and when they reached the highest floor in the building, they came face to face with Bill Gates*
Gates: Well well well, if it isn’t the Code: Island Attackers… I’ve been expecting you, would you like to hear this wonderful inspirational song that I have started? Listen… *begins playing pipe organ*
Rebel: Gates, we want some answers!
Metabad: AND WE WANT THEM NOW!
Gates: *playing pipe organ* I’M SORRY, I CANNOT HEAR YOU INSOLENT CREATURES OF THE UNIVERSE OVER MY MAGNIFICENT MUSIC!
Rebel: …Metabad, would you do the honors?
Metabad: *smirks* Gladly…
*Suddenly Metabad ignites himself on fire and does the can-can dance, causing him to back up*
Gates: *still playing* what the heck is he doing?
Rebel: Oh, you’ll see…
Metabad: Can can can ya do the can-can? can ya do the can-can?
*Metabad soon trips over the chair Bill Gates is sitting on and lands on the pipe organ, setting it ablaze*
Gates: What?! WHAT?! NO! MY BEAUTIFUL PIPE ORGAN! RUINED! THIS CAN’T BE, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Metabad: I shamed… *face palm*
Gates: YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT YOU SHAMED!
Majin: HAY DAT LUK LIEK FUN!!!1 *encases body in electricity and flops over towards the pipe organ*
Gates: No, NOOO!
Majin: Goos gie vs. bad gie reed it on drunk duck dot com 2day! *flops around on the pipe organ, electrocuting it*
Gates: YOU MISERABLE MEDDLESOME MISERABLE MEDDLESOME MISERABLE MEDDLESOME CORPORATE SELLOUT! WHY I OUGHTA, GRRRRRRR!
Everyone else: …
Gates: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *throws dart at a dart board with a picture of Lilithmon’s face on it* I have calm…
Metabad: So dude, why’d you like, become evil n’ stuff?
Gates: Why did I become evil? WHY DID I BECOME EVIL?! I’LL TELL YOU WHY I BECAME EVIL! IT IS BECAUSE… *tosses cape back*
Metabad: …And where’d you get that cape?
Gates: Where did I get my cape? WHERE DID I GET MY CAPE?! I’LL TELL YOU WHERE I GOT MY CAPE! *pets cat*
Metabad: …And where’d you get that cat?
Gates: Where did I get this cat? WHERE DID I GET THIS CAT?! I’LL TELL YOU WHE–aww screw it.
Majin: I DUN WANNA SCREW NO KITTENS FANK U FERY MUTCH!
Gates: So why I became evil is quite the interesting story, for you see… *moves away from the now hazardous pipe organ* so anyways… where was I?
Metabad: You were just saying how rawksome I was.
Gates: Ahh yes… wait, NO I WASN’T, ENOUGH WITH YOUR LIES!
Metabad: M’kay, it was worth a shot.
Rebel: Just get on with your story.
Gates: So as I was saying, I have in fact noticed that Donald Trump was a reoccurring adversary for many of your adventures, CIA… and seeing as how he is a billionaire, I thought why not become a villain myself? Throw a little competition his way like what I did with the Xbox for Nintendo and Sony. I am a fellow billionaire myself, after all. Now before I decided upon this I had no clue about the whereabouts of Trump.
Rebel: I haven’t seen him in awhile either, to tell you the truth.
Gates: Yes, so… let me finish. I had no clue what he was doing until him and his little friends met up with me and we had a little discussion about these… “Chaos Emeralds” now we had a little argument and things got a little out of control… I lost my temper and sent a few robots after them… and then… and then… AND THEN…
Sean: And then…?
Gates: AND THEN THAT BITCH OF A WITCH DIGIMON PUT A CURSE ON ME WHERE I WAS THEIR OWN PERSONAL PUPPET, AND WHY? JUST TO FETCH A BLASTED EMERALD! THEY USED ME, AND FOR SUCH A MINOR PURPOSE TOO… THAT MADE ME SO MAD I COULD… I COULD… *throws even more darts at the Lilithmon dartboard* AHHHHHHHHH*
*See: Series 2, Epilogue #24 “Dissed In the Digital World” (part 4)*
Majin: CLAM DOWN SPANKOS!
Gates: It was then… that I knew what he was up to… that I knew I could upstage Trump… *twiddles fingers together* He sort of inspired me… and now I shall take over the world, and form a Microsoft EMPIRE! Where all machinery is made by me, all the profits for EVERYTHING go to me, AND EVERY HUMAN AND REPLOID IN EXISTANCE SHALL BE MY SLAVE AND DONATE MONEY TO ME, YOU CAN’T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY, CAN YOU? NYAHAHAHAHA!! *messes up hair*
Outlaw: And what were you doing with Randomness?
Rebel: And Star Wolf?
Gates: Well… Wolf flew by me with a damaged airship which I later found out was called a Wolfen, he said he tried his best to repair it while he was left on some barren planet to die… but it still wasn’t quite in Wolf’s desired condition, so I made a deal with him… I would completely repair his Wolfen if he would offer his services to me… he drove a hard bargain since he said he wished to have his teammates back. I KNOW NOTHING OF BRINGING BACK THE DEAD!
Majin: Go on note.
Gates: So I was at a loss for words… although, through complete coincidence I met up with an entity known as Randomness, I introduced the weird… thing to Wolf, and he wished for his teammates back, and they did come back, but at random times and in random places… after a long search we finally found them all and I repaired all their Wolfens.
Majin: This story am happy end, thank you 🙂
Gates: Yes… yes it does have a happy ending… BUT NOT FOR YOU!
Majin: ONOS WHAT DI I DEW IM SRRY PLEAS FORGOVE ME BOOHOO…
Outlaw: Come on man, we can work this out; we have no quarrel with you.
Gates: TOO LATE! *rips the cat’s head off*
Everyone else: GAAAAAAAASP!
Gates: Don’t worry… it wasn’t even a real cat, it was a machine… *presses button protruding from the robotic cat’s neck*
*All of a sudden a dark mechanical giant worm breaks through the wall.*
Gates: Gentlemen… I introduce you to my latest and greatest creation… THE WINDOWS WORM!
Windows Worm: ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR GRAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH *foams at the mouth*
Gates: You shall all become lunch for my creature… and how delicious you morsels shall be for it to feed on… nyeheheheh…
???: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!
*Pigma and Andrew both enter the room*
Pigma: WE’RE HERE TO TAKE OUR RAGE OUT ON YOU, ISLAND ATTACKERS!
Pigma: Speechless, aren’t you Bill?
Gates: …Oh, this is rich… much like myself… hahahaha…
Pigma: What the heck are you laughing about?
Gates: *facepalm* AHAHAHAHAHAHAA!! *Ahem* You claim you want to take your rage out on the Island Attackers… but the tables shall turn as evidently… I WISH TO TAKE MY RAGE OUT ON WOLF FOR DITCHING ME, AND YOU TWO FORMER MEMBERS WOULD BE PERFECT FOR THE PLUCKING!
Andrew: Oh no…
Gates: NOW, WINDOWS WORM, TURN THAT PIG INTO HAM, AND MAKE SHORT WORK OF THAT MONKEY!
Windows Worm: GRAAGALARGBLAGHSPLURGH! *lunges after Pigma and Andrew*
Andrew: *hugs Pigma* AHHHHHHH, SAVE ME PIGMA!
Pigma: *pushes Andrew off* GET OFF OF ME!
Andrew: Whoa, whoa… WHOA! *stumbles around and falls out of a window* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… *thud*
Pigma: Aww crap, now I feel bad…
Gates: Don’t worry… BECAUSE THE WINDOWS WORM SHALL MAKE YOU FEEL EVEN WORSE, NYAHAHAHA!
Windows Worm: GARHLABARGAMUGHLAGH *breathes out fire at Pigma*
Pigma: *catches on fire and runs around* ARRRRGGGGHHHH, HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME! *falls out window as well* MYYYYYYYYYY BEAUUUUTIFUUUUUUL REWAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdddddd… *thud*
Gates: Someone remind me to retrieve that pig later… I’m feeling hungry… for some BACON!
Windows Worm: GRUGAPLUGABLERGH!
Gates: Now, Windows Worm… would you kindly do the honours of eliminating the CIA for me?
Windows Worm: GLUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHH BLAGHPABERGARUGAGACK! *lunges after the CIA*
Rebel: Well, team… we’ll just have to give it our all!
Metabad: YEAH LET’S RAWK THE CAZBAH! *Speed Burners into it, but bumps his head* Owww… at least I set it on fire though…
Windows Worm: GLRAOBLAGARGCKERCKBERG! *Not on fire*
Metabad: Oh COME ON!
Dark Knight: Maybe fire isn’t its weakness… let me give it a try… *fires Bubble Splash at Windows Worm*
Windows Worm: GRUUUUUUUGLACKAKLAATUBARADANIKTO! *Unaffected*
Dark Knight: Well that didn’t work…
Outlaw: Looks like our normal abilities won’t work… hmm… *tackles the Windows Worm and begins to wrestle with it*
Windows Worm: NAMUNAMUMALOMALO *Presses on and overpowers Outlaw, running him over*
Rebel: Grr… *throws countless kunai and shuriken at it* WHY… WON’T… THIS… THING… DIE? *throws a Magnet Mine at it*
Void: I… really don’t know… *fires a Silk Shot and then attempts to blind it with a ray of light*
Windows Worm: *all attacks on it just bounce right off* GRUHGOBUHYDROGHABLUGARGH! *Rams into all CIA members*
Windows Worm: *Constricts them all* BUMOBUMOLAGHRUHAGHABLUGHAGH!
Gates: Yes… yes, my minion… squeeze the life out of them, EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM! NYAHAHAHA! *dances like a spaz*
Metabad: Ack… this thing… is just too… non-rawksome…
Rebel: You got… that right…
Sean: Is it just me or… is… this getting tighter and tighter?
Outlaw: Well, this might be the end… it was great fighting alongside you guys… and going on sewer hunts with you, DK.
Dark Knight: Yeah… thanks man… my thoughts… exactly… *struggles to get out but fails*
Shadowstrike: It can’t be… our time to die… not after all this…
Majin: GUYSE TWAS GREET WERKEN WIFF U BUT I IS HAS CONFESSION 2 MAEK, 1 TIME I REPLACED ALL OUR COKES WIFF PEPSIS AND BLAMED IT ON DA RAIN WHILE I WAS SINGIN IN IT!
Rebel: Oh… SO THAT… WAS YOU?!
Majin: PLESE DON MEKKE ME CRIE!
Metabad: HEATHEN, I… BEAT UP SEAN… FOR NOTHING!
Sean: And by beating up, you mean… pinned the blame on me… and muttered… my curse…
Gates: Enough of this idle chit-chat, CONSUME THEM, WINDOWS WORM, I GROW BORED OF WATCHING THIS DISPLAY!
Windows Worm: GRAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH *mouth opens wide and heads towards the CIA about to swallow them whole*
Rebel: Aww crap…
Metabad: *shuts eyes tightly*
Majin: DERES NO PLASE LIKE HOAM DERES NO PLACE LIKE HOEM, DERES NO FOOD LIKE HAM! DERES NO ONE LIKE HIM, DERES NO SUN LIKE DOME!
*The Windows Worm, with it’s teeth being so close to the CIA suddenly just seems to freeze in place*
Gates: Huh? What is the meaning of this!?
Windows Worm: …
Gates: Windows Worm?
Windows Worm: …
Windows Worm: …
Gates: Are you alright?
Windows Worm: … *opens eyes to reveal two separate blue screens of death within each eye*
Gates: Oh NOT AGAIN, THAT’S THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK!
Windows Worm: *breaks down and collapses*
Gates: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! I THOUGHT I FINALLY HAD THAT PROBLEM FIXED!
*The CIA are freed from the tight grasp of the Windows Worm*
Outlaw: Phew… we got lucky…
Dark Knight: You said it…
Shadowstrike: It’s over, Gates!
Rebel: Surrender now before you embarrass yourself further.
Gates: Hmm… let me think about it… no!
Gates: NOOO! *runs off*
Gates: *sits on throne*
Majin: whuttuya doin, R U PLAYIN MUSIKUL CHARS? WHEEEEEEEEEE
Gates: *presses a button on the arm of the throne* YOU’RE ALL FINISHED!
*Suddenly the throne grows mechanical arms and legs, and the throne itself becomes heavily armoured, looking like that of a mech.*
Gates: Behold, my even newer creation… THE X-MECH!
Majin: OOO, ITS CHRISTMIS? WHERE’S MAH PRESENT BICH?
Gates: No you lousy sponge, not X-mas, X-MECH!
Majin: now im reele comfoosed.
Gates: Allow me to end your confusion… *the mechs arm punches Majin*
Majin: ONOS! *is hit* owiekaboodles!
Rebel: *throws a Magnet Mine at the X-mech*
Gates: *a part of the X-mech blows apart* BLAST! Looks like it’s time for a little change of pace… X-MECH! UPGRADE NOW! TRANSFORMATION! *presses button*
*The X-mech suddenly transforms and completely repairs itself, looking even brighter than before*
Gates: Hahaha, yes… according to my calculations the upgraded X-mech 360 shall work perfectly!
Shadowstrike: Not on my watch! *Runs in circles and fires off Sonic Slicers which just bounce off of the X-mech 360*
Gates: You honestly think you can penetrate through this metal? Pitiful… *fires heat seeking missles at the CIA*
Metabad: OSHI–*is hit* NOT RAWKSOME! *falls down*
Rebel: GAH! *teleports out of the way* Phew… *is hit by another* OH COME ON! *collapses*
Void: *fires countless silk shots at it, trying to slow it down but it fails and hits him anyways* My calculations… were incorrect… *falls from the sky*
Sean: EEP! *hides in shell* …None of you mumble my curse or I’ll kill you if Gates doesn’t…
*The missle hits Sean and he goes flying*
Sean: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh… *falls out the window*
Dark Knight: IT COULD BE–*is hit* CRAP! *is smashed into a wall*
Shadowstrike: *running really fast* OHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAP *he trips over the X-mech 360’s foot* OH CRAP!!! *is hit by the missle* AIEEEEEEE!!
Majin: *was hit with the missle when it first launched* gagabablee
Outlaw: *chomps down on the missle* Hmm… needs more salt… *it explodes in his stomach* …Well what do you know? Indigestion’s kicking in… *falls down*
Gates: MUAHAHA! *X-mech 360 hovers* and now to finish you off… APOCALYPTIC DEATH LASERS CHARGING AT 25%!
*The mech grows countless guns of all kinds as they begin charging their lasers up*
*The light from the guns glow even brighter*
Metabad: Hoo baby… we’re in for a ride…
Rebel: *Gets up* No… it won’t end like this…
Gates: 90%! *puts on a tiny Virtual Boy-like device over his eyes* SAY YOUR PRAYERS, INSECTS!
Rebel: *draws sword and begins running at Bill Gates*
Gates: 100%! YOU’RE ALL DOOMED, GOODBYE!! NYEHAHEHAHHEAHHEHAAKEKEKEFUFUFUGAHA!
*Gates is about to fire his lasers when suddenly the control panel in the X-mech 360 gets the red ring of death, all lasers then shut down and the X-mech 360 falls with a loud metallic THUD on the ground*
Gates: What? NO! *smashes the control panel* NO, NO, BLAST IT, DAMN IT! BLASTED DAMNIT!
Rebel: *Slices the X-mech 360 in half, along with Gates’ Virtual Boy-like device*
Gates: GAHHHHHH NOOOOOOOO! *The X-mech explodes and sends Gates crashing into the wall* ohhhh… my heaaaad…
Rebel: *stands over Gates* this is the end, surrender now or else I’ll slice you in half.
Gates: …Heheh… you honestly think this is over? YOU THINK I’M DONE FOR?!
Rebel: Well yeah, pretty much.
Gates: DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH, HAHAHAHA! You ignorant little reploids may have won this battle, BUT YOU HAVEN’T WON THE WAR! *quickly gets up and runs away*
Rebel: Hey, get back here! *chases after Gates*
Gates: *grabs a jetpack and straps it on his back while running away* Time to make my escape with the MICRO-PACK! I am not one to give up so easily, you hear? My Microsoft Empire shall dominate the world someday, just you see! There will be other battles, Rebel… but for now, I must be off…
Rebel: YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE! *Continues the chase and throws a Magnet Mine at Bill Gates*
Gates: *catches it then throws it at a wall which blows open*
Rebel: Oh, for the love of–
Gates: Good day sirs. *activates jetpack*
Rebel: WAIT, I’M NOT THROUGH WITH YOU YET!
Gates: I SAID GOOD DAY! *flies out of the building through the blown open hole*
Rebel: Damn… he’s gradually getting away…
Gates: *turns back and waves goodbye as he flies off into the horizon* UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN ISLAND ATTACKERS!! YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST OF BILL GATES! HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH! *checks the jetpack battery meter* …NO BATTERIES? *The jetpack shuts down and he falls to the ground*
Metabad: Dude, is he dead?
Gates: *slowly gets back up*
Metabad: Oh, guess not.
Majin: nvm yo yo yoey
Gates: Ugh… looks like I’ll have to escape on foot… DAMN THOSE BLASTED MALFUNCTIONING CONTRAPTIONS! *runs away*
Rebel: Well… let’s go back to the Whale King.
Metabad: Gotchya Rebbos, I’ll wake the others up.
*Later, back on the Whale King*
Outlaw: That Bill Gates was one tough cookie to crumble.
Dark Knight: I still can’t believe he nearly got the best of us.
Void: Yeah, good thing his machinery malfunctioned just before it had a chance to eliminate us.
Outlaw: Oh yeah, that was incredibly lucky.
Dark Knight: For us, anyways.
Rebel: Good thing your face. *Drinks coke*
Metabad: OH SNAP, BUUUURRRN. *shoots fireball at Void*
Void: *dodges* Hey!
Majin: omg b0ner
Shadowstrike: Too much information, dude.
Majin: OOPSIES! *sticks head in a nearby microwave*
Rebel: Well the important thing is that we kicked his ass in the end.
Metabad: I’LL DRINK TO THAT! *takes out coke and chugs it*
Shadowstrike: So you guys think that Star Wolf is going to try and kill us someday?
Rebel: Well Wolf seems to have a grudge against me, so maybe.
Outlaw: Or maybe they’ll only try if they’re hired to kill us.
Rebel: Yeah, who knows, really?
Sean: So do you guys think the gross pig and the annoying monkey will be accepted back into Star Wolf?
Rebel: If they survived that fall, then maybe… if our friend William could survive that then those jerks probably could too.
Void: Wolf seemed rather displeased with them though.
Majin: hoo knowz dey culd get a perverted kitty cat or a panther on their team 4 dere next member.
Void: Don’t be ridiculous.
Majin: hay just throwen dat out dere ya know? Yeah? Ya know? Yeah? Ya know? Yeah? Ya know? Yeah? Ya know? Yeah? Ya-
Rebel: SHUT THE HELL UP!
Majin: Owaaaaaaaah 😥
Metabad: *stops chugging* So Rebel, what say you to rawking in the Super Awesome Fighting Forces new base of operations?
Void: I still want my lab ba–
Rebel: Sounds like a plan! *Rebel and Metabad head off*
Outlaw: Well… ’till next time, CIA fans!
*The fourth wall completely shatters*
Rebel: DAMN IT, NARRATOR, REPAIR THAT WALL THIS INSTANT!
Narrator: *sighs* Fine…
THE END… or is it?
Majin: AHH MY TINY PPL R ATTACKING!
*…Okay, no seriously it really is…*
Tags: Andross, Bill Gates, C:IA, Cave Story, Code: Island Attackers, Dark Knight, epilogue, episode, funny, Majin, metabad, Outlaw88, Pigma, Rebel4000, Script, Star Fox, Star Wolf, Story, weird, Wheel Gator