Back to School

*Written by Sean*

*Void is working in his lab when suddenly an uninvited guest walks in.*

Sean: Hey, Void what are you working on?

Void: I’m trying to work on a new type of power supply, even more compact and powerful than what is currently housed in most reploids. See? *holds up a small glowing orb*

Sean: Neat. That is pretty small.

Void: And also very delicate so I’d like you to leave.

Sean: What?

Void: You’re both cursed and seem to be a bad luck magnet. I’d rather you leave before anything goes wrong. So if you don’t mind–

*Just then, the Whale King violently jerked. The small ball flies right out of Void’s hand.*

Sean: Got it. *catches it*

Void: See what I mea–wait, what?

Sean: Here, take it back quick. *hands it over to Void.*

Dark Knight: Hey, someone has apparently started tailing the Whale King and Shadowstrike is trying to lose them. You probably should head over. Also, it could be worse.

Sean: *shocked* Ouch… I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to that.

Void: *mumbling* But, you… and the curse… and bad luck… and every other time but–

Sean: Look, even I have my moments.

*And how often they occur tends to increase under certain writers or writer. However I’ll leave the obvious favoritism alone for now and switch to Shadowstrike at the wheel.*

Rebel: Shadowstrike, report!

Shadowstrike: Huh? When did you come in here?

Rebel: Just tell me what’s wrong.

Shadowstrike: Yeah, sorry. Focusing on losing this guy. He started tailing me a little while ago and I can’t seem to lose him. He’s been following me for a few minutes now. I swear I could have lost him if I hadn’t been up all night practicing or if that loud siren wasn’t making it so hard to think. He just fired a warning shot a little while ago so I’d better figure out something soon.

Outlaw: Siren?

Shadowstrike: Yeah and flashing lights… I really need some sleep.

Void: I’d say so.

Shadowstrike: Let me just land and get this over with.

*And so once the Whale King is firmly on the ground…*

Reploid Cop: So you mean to tell me that you’ve been resisting arrest due to sleep deprivation and the fact the only other things in the air generally are trying to shoot you down?

Shadowstrike: Yes?

Reploid Cop: That is by far one of the dumbest excuses I’ve gotten. I need to see your license and vehicle registration.

Shadowstrike: Well, here is my license and for registration… Uh, Rebel?

Rebel: Don’t look at me. We were given this by lizard-bird-things. I didn’t bother asking about it. It was weird enough as is. Sean?

Sean: Just because I spent a few years on that island doesn’t mean I knew about everything on it. Void? You generally seem to handle this stuff.

Void: Do you know how long my to do list is? How about you Outlaw?

Outlaw: Why would I be responsible for it?

Void: Well you do some exploring and I really don’t want to be responsible for it.

Reploid Cop: I think this is why general policy is generally to pretend all the vigilantes don’t exist… Also, this license is expired.

Shadowstrike: Uh….

Reploid Cop: Here, take this. *hands out a ticket* You need to pay a fine and complete a few courses on proper piloting. Also deal with having this vehicle inspected and registered. You’re lucky that we technically owe you guys a few favors from the last time you helped save the world so I’m being lenient. Next time I see a giant whale in the sky I’ll just ignore it.

Gold Ranger: Boom time?

Silver Ranger: Boom time!

*They leave in their flying whale zord.*

Reploid Cop: …I doubt even X has to deal with stuff like this. Let me just check your records and see if there is anything else I need to do before I go chase after another flying whale. I mean whales don’t even fly, so what are the odds of finding two groups of crazies who believe they do?

Sean: I can’t believe you have to go back to school.

Shadowstrike: At least I’m not cursed.

Sean: Yeah, but–

Dark Knight: It could be worse?

Sean: *shocked* Okay, classes are better.

Reploid Cop: Well that’s good because I pulled up your file. Apparently you recently lost any degrees you had simply from them being about a century old.

Sean: What?

Void: Another reason not to let you in my lab I guess. Anyways, you–

Sean: Just wait one second before you continue.

Void: Why?

Reploid Cop: Because since you created Frankenploid and a few other monstrosities, it’s required that you take some classes on ethics and do a little community service. I suggest teaching a few classes since you’ll already be on a university campus.

Void: What?

Rebel: You don’t honestly expecting us to wait for you guys do you?

Metabad: We can’t wait, we have to rawk!

Reploid Cop: That’s too bad, because your vigilante activities also require you two to pay some fines and take a couple classes on acting within the law.

Metabad: Can’t rawk?

Dark Knight: Looks like it.

Reploid Cop: And I’m signing you up for a few classes on ethics just because it looks like you need it.

Majin: Wat? Ware is peoplz do’n?

Reploid Cop: And it looks like you need a few AA meetings. I doubt they’ll actually fix anything.

Outlaw: And what about me?

Reploid Cop: Hmm… Don’t seem to have anything worthwhile on you. I suggest signing up for some classes while you guys are grounded anyways.

Outlaw: Might as well. I guess I’ll take some cooking classes.

Reploid Cop: Now I’m leaving before something goes horribly wrong.

Void: Probably a good idea.

Rebel: Shadowstrike, you’re very lucky.

Shadowstrike: Why?

Rebel: My hatred of Trump is what is keeping me from telling you you’re fired at this point.

Void: Let’s just get this over with.

*And so starts the first day of classes.*

*Ethics Class*

Reploid Professor: Today, we have a guest speaker. He is the hologram of the famous scientist, Dr. Thomas Light.

Dr. Light Hologram: So you’ve come… X, I gave you the ability to choose your own path in life, and I hoped the world would allow you to choose a peaceful one.

Void: Sir? I think that one is just a recording.

Reploid Professor: That is inconsequential.

Dr. Light Hologram: I give you a special present. Now, enter the capsule, please!

Dark Knight: At least there won’t be any trick questions.

*Piloting Lessons*

Johnny: You lowlifes can call me Johnny. If you want to pass this class, challenge me anytime.

Shadowstrike: Wait, so you’re not actually teaching us anything? We just need to beat you in a race?

Johnny: The other docs can try and fill your heads. I just want to know that you can ride the wind.

Shadowstrike: Score!

*Lessons on Vigilantism and Heroism*

Robo: Today, we’re covering planet devourers and destroyers of biological, technological, and magical nature. I do warn you that when we get to magical ninety percent are from Square-Enix.

Rebel: Sweet, this looks cool.

Robo: Also this lecture is over two hours long and will be on the test so start taking notes.

Metabad: No longer rawkin’.

Sean: Yeah, I know.

Rebel: What are you doing here?

Sean: I’m getting a degree that takes about four years in a few weeks. I’m taking every class possible and overclocking my system to stay awake. During classes I’m also taking classes online. I’m not sure how long that’s going to last, but I should have enough credits for something by the time you’re done with classes.

*AA Meeting*

Bender: Stop drinking? Pfft, why would you ever want to do that?

Majin: WHEEE! Tawk’n tin!

Random Reploid: Wait… Shoot, it’s only motivational after they stop doing the drugs and drinking. *facepalms*

*Technobabble 101*

Void: And that is how we seem to power our modern weaponry and advanced machinery with such small power supplies without seeming to ever need to replace them or charge. Any questions?

Sean: So how easy is it going to be to annoy you during this?

Void: You’re in this class? Well I guess it could be worse.

Sean: *shocked* Okay, I’ll shut up and go back to taking notes.

*Gourmet Cooking*

Cooking Mama: Wow, even better than Mama! *gesturing towards a soufflé*

Outlaw: Huh? You like that? You can have it. I’ve decided to make myself a better snack. *takes out a large pot with a boiling green liquid*

Cooking Mama: Gah! *faints*

*Later, in a cafeteria…*

Dark Knight: Why are we meeting up here again?

Rebel: Close by and cheap cola.

Outlaw: But the food here sucks.

Shadowstrike: For once we agree on that.

Majin: Woot! Me haz a hat! *hides under the table*

Void: So far this looks like a waste of time.

Metabad: Lame.

Void: I guess at least I’ve learned I can accept Sean helping out now and then. Can you take this back to the Whale King? *hands over the energy supply earlier*

Dark Knight: So, I guess it could be worse.

Sean: *shocked* Ouch, I said I had my moments. That doesn’t mean you should tempt fate. *hands back a completely fried piece of machinery*

Void: Okay, so today has been a waste of time.

Rebel: Just shut up and drink some cola.

*Day 2*

*Piloting Lessons*

Johnny: What? You won? I am a man of my word. I’ll pass you. Feel free to challenge me again anytime.

Shadowstrike: Why the Hell would I do that?

Johnny: Come on! We can ride the wind, baby!

Shadowstrike: Now you’re getting creepy…

Johnny: Extra credit?

Shadowstrike: NO! Let me just either graduate or move onto whatever other crazy class I have to take.

Penguin: Race me for a star?

Johnny: Excellent! *runs off with the penguin*

Shadowstrike: What is wrong with you people?

*AA Meeting*

Random Reploid: Well, today we would be continuing from yesterday but I think that is the last of what we want to do here. Now remember despite what that other robot said, none of us need alcohol. It is a drug that can ruin our lives. Why don’t we all take this time to talk and share our past experiences?

Majin: X-pear-ance-es?

Random Reploid: Yes. Like memories. What do you think is causing you to drink?

Majin: w00t! Drink! *takes out a keg*

Random Reploid: Where did you get that?

*Technobabble 101*

Void: Now in this scenario *points to a complicated diagram on the board* what is the simplest possible way of stopping the doomsday device, rescuing your companions, and defeating the villain?

Sean: *raises hand*

Void: Yes?

Sean: Cast reflect. The power supply seems magical in nature so if you used reflect it would rebound destroying both the device and the villain.

Void: What? You can’t bring magic into this.

Sean: Fine, reverse the polarity. Happy?

Void: No, but correct.

*Time Travel and You*

Lucca: Now today, we’ll be discussing time travel and the possible positives and negatives gained from it. We also will be discussing how to avoid paradoxes when using time travel.

Sean: Wait, isn’t this actually going to discuss building a time machine?

Lucca: No, not after this class’s previous finals.

Rebel: What?

Void: And this is why we’re not building a time machine.

Metabad: I don’t think I like this class.

Lucca: The timeline is not quite as delicate as one may seem but you can mess things up quite a lot with it.

Dark Knight: Like?

Lucca: Accidently making your ancestors lizards or amphibians instead of mammals comes to mind.

*Gourmet Cooking*

Outlaw: *pokes the Cooking Mama* Are you still unconscious? You didn’t even try it.

*Later, in the cafeteria again…*

Void: You know messing with your systems is going to end poorly, right?

Sean: Don’t worry. I’m moving faster than expected. I can squeeze in an hour of sleep in three days if I keep to my schedule. Though these breaks for food with you guys might throw me off.

Dark Knight: It could always be worse.

Sean: *shocked* And an additional side effect seems to be dulled pain reception.

Dark Knight: Meh, no good can come from this.

Rebel: So has Majin actually made any progress?

Majin: Teh diskus z bestes sport! *throws a dinner plate across the room and cheers when it hits the wall*

Shadowstrike: I think he is getting worse. How about you Outlaw? How is taking classes for fun?

Outlaw: Not bad. Though for a chef my professor has a pretty weak stomach or rather nose in this case.

Shadowstrike: You killed your teacher?!

Outlaw: Nah, she’s just unconscious.

Metabad: Rawking! I wish any of my professors were like that, then I wouldn’t have to listen to the lectures.

*Day 3*

*How to Operate a Giant Robot*

Zordon: If any of you are worried by the fact I’m a giant head in a jar, fear not. I still managed to make several seasons of idiotic teenagers automatic experts in this field.

Shadowstrike: Well, this will possibly be more useful than I thought.

Outlaw: Yeah, it can’t possibly hurt us.

Shadowstrike: You’re in this class, too?

Outlaw: Figured it would be fun and Cooking Mama is still asleep. Sean’s here, too.

Shadowstrike: Really?

Outlaw: Yeah, he’s right–*turns and sees Sean no longer next to him* That’s funny. Where did he go?

Sean: *working on a giant robotic animal* If I replace the auxiliary systems necessary for the lesser used alternate forms I can increase the power supply and reroute it to the weapons and shield generator. Then when it forms an arm or a leg in the still valid Megazord combinations, I can charge enough energy to easily take out most giant monsters provided I remove the safeties first… However, it also could cause a backlash across all five zords leading to their destruction unless I change the metallic alloy used in the armor to a compound more resistant to the energy radiation-

Zordon: I think I will call you Billy.

Shadowstrike: Looks like he got confused on what the goal of this class is.

Outlaw: Yep.

*Void’s Office Hours*

Void: No! I am not giving you a postponement on your project because you’re waiting for a lightning storm and the forecast for the next few weeks is clear skies. There are plenty of other power sources available. Stop being so damn cliché.

Hunchbacked, Nerdy Reploid with Beady Eyes: Curses!

Flirty Reploid: Uh, professor could you explain how to solve this problem again? *leans over desk*

Void: Doesn’t anyone normal ever show up to these office hours?!

*Determining Lethal Force*

Superman: Now, this is a common problem for superheroes so don’t be ashamed to admit it. Lots of times a foe can look stronger than he is or you just were caught off guard and hit with full strength by reflex. However it is necessary to at most only use enough force to knock them unconscious.

Dark Knight: Even if when found guilty they’ll get the death penalty?

Superman: Yes, even then.

Rebel: Would you be charged with manslaughter if you slip up?

Superman: In most cases, no. However, if you are unsure it is better to only use a weapon you know is nonlethal.

Metabad: How do you make fire nonlethal?

Superman: We’re getting off topic. Now pay attention to this slideshow. *points to a picture of a stereotypical mad scientist* This is an easy one. Notice the lab coat, glasses, messy hair, and bad posture. Be very careful around these guys, their spines can snap easily. However if they later use some experimental mutagen and go insane, *slide switches to a picture of a monster similar to the Hulk in form* you’re generally allowed to go all out until you beating them unconscious reverts them to normal.

*AA Meeting*

Random Reploid: How about I try sharing a personal memory with you first? I may not look like it now, but I was once a client too. It’s important that you understand–

Majin: DADDY! *runs over and gives the lecturer a hug*

Random Reploid: *starts sniffling and then breaks down into tears* Muh my father never loved me!

*At the cafeteria again…*

Void: Aren’t we going to do something about this?

Rebel: Which? Majin corrupting the guy who was running the AA meetings–

Majin: CHUG! *shouting at a Reploid trying to drink an entire keg*

Rebel: –Or Sean building some type of doomsday device out of the microwave, the salt and pepper shakers, all of our silverware, and a pretzel.

Sean: MWHA HA HA! It’s almost complete! I just need a little bit more processing power! *beats up a freshman and steals his laptop and backpack* Soon, very soon! I now only need one more key component and I know where I can find it!

Void: Probably the second.

Outlaw: I know of a brew that I can make that should fix it.

Shadowstrike: Nah, just let him work it out of his system.

Dark Knight: Besides, this is hilarious.

*Day 4*

*Technobabble 101*

Void: Okay, everyone settle down. Now–

Sean: At last! I have finished my life’s work! *sets down a giant hunk of sparking, whirring machinery that still has part of it recognizable as a microwave*

Void: You started that during lunch yesterday.

Sean: DO NOT MOCK ME! I MOCK YOU! I MOCK REALITY! BUT I WILL NOT BE MOCKED! *opens the microwave door and drops in two Game Boy cartridges and presses start* I WILL UNLEASH THE MOST DEVESTATING GLITCH OF THE VIRTUAL WORLD INTO THE REAL WORLD! ALL OF REALITY WILL BE RUINED!

*The device starts sparking even more and explodes. A very bizarre image rises from the ruins*

MissingNo.: I’m FREE! FiNally FreE! *flies off and as he/she/it leaves random objects are duplicated or corrupted*

Sean: NO! *falls and curls up into the fetal position*

Void: I’ll give you an A-, you should have spent more time bug checking. For those of you still working on your projects, they are due in two weeks and I do not want anything that might destroy the fabric of reality.

Hunchbacked, Nerdy Reploid with Beady Eyes: Curses!

*Gourmet Cooking*

Cooking Mama: NO! BEGONE!

Outlaw: Here. *places a clothes pin on her nose* I need to whip up an old family recipe.

*Random Hallway*

Shadowstrike: Will you two stop asking!? I don’t want to race!

*The Penguin and Johnny walk off*

Shadowstrike: Man, I hate those guys.

Boshi: You have any cookies? I only race one-on-one versus those who can cough up a bet.

Shadowstrike: *sighs*

*Determining Lethal Force*

Superman: No. “I have kryptonite so just pass me” is not the correct answer. Neither is “If I kill him he’ll probably come back from the dead in a week.” I’ll accept “slightly singed” just because I’m grading on a curve.

Dark Knight: Damn, he called my bluff.

Rebel: I think my answer is true.

Metabad: Rawkin’! I can pass this!

*A Bar Just Off Campus*

Majin: DuDe! U’v had 2 mulch!

Random Reploid: *belches and passes out*

Majin: Tax-E!

Bartender: You’re still in the bar.

Hobo: *snaps his fingers and Majin and the other reploid are gone* You really need better clientele. Well, I’m off to my box. *gets up and leaves*

*In the cafeteria again…*

Outlaw: Hold him down!

Sean: YoU InSoLENt fOOls! UnhAND ME!

Rebel: We didn’t want to do this! *pins him to the ground*

Dark Knight: Says you! *pries open the mouth*

Outlaw: Don’t worry it tastes great. *pours a gallon of sludge down his mouth*

Sean: *passes out*

Outlaw: There, he’ll be fine when he wakes up.

*A very fancy reploid approaches*

Void: Hey, I know you! You’re the head of this university.

Head of the University: Yes, and to preemptively save my school I’m graduating you all now. *hands out a pile of degrees* I’m passing you from the classes the law was requiring you to take and giving you all the degrees you possibly could have been going for at the time.

Shadowstrike: But we can’t possibly have learned everything we need.

Head of the University: One second. *makes a hand gesture and a very large reploid comes over with a huge pile of books* These should cover all the information that would be taught in the classes. You can read up on the material at your leisure.

Void: Um, wow.

Head of the University: And here is a paycheck for all the work you were doing.

Void: But it was supposed to be community service…

Head of the University: Who cares? Speaking of service, I’ve had a bunch of undergraduates do all the necessary repairs and maintenance to your ship as a work study. I also used my influence to rush the inspection and have everything they had on hand used to restock the ship. Now, here let me help you out the door. *claps his hands and another really large reploid picks everyone up and carries them to the Whale King*

Sean: *wakes up* Ugh… What happened?

Void: You graduated early.

Sean: Oh, okay.

Rebel: I can’t help but feel we’re forgetting something.

*Elsewhere…*

Gates: What? Why is everything giving me the blue screen or red ring of death? I invented those–they shouldn’t attack me!

MissingNo.: HeY, tHiS IS fUN!

The End

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