Bermuda Shorts #1

The Bermuda Shorts series was a bunch of short skits made by the team simply to have fun. There were four in the series. Once these have been posted that will do it for the Code: Island Attacker archive.

Insightful Thought #1
By Outlaw88

Narrator: And now, an insightful thought.

*Dramatic music*

Narrator: This week’s guest: Dead Man.

Dead Man: …

Narrator: This has been an insightful thought.

The End

* * *

“ABC”
By Outlaw88

Narrator: Now its time for something fun!

Rebel: I’ll bet…

Narrator: It’s the ABC’s with Rebel!

Rebel: Why am I doing this?

Narrator: Community service.

Rebel: Ugh. Fine…

A is for: Ass-kicking. The thing I do best.

B is for: Beer. Majin’s drink of choice.

C is for: Coke! Like I’d say something different.

D is for: Donald and his stupid hair.

E is for: Evil. For a better word see “P”

F is for: Flannery. Sand crazy is the tip of the iceberg.

G is for: Gator. My smelly friend.

H is for: Hell. I’m in it while doing this…

I is for: Idiot. Most of my team embodies this.

J is for: Jack. My awesome skeleton friend.

K is for: Kick-ass ninja skillz!

L is for: Lollipop. Don’t judge me. Their good.

M is for: Majin. Cuz I can’t think of anything better.

Majin: Awwwww. I make sad face now… 😦

Rebel: N is for: Noogies! I give them to Shadow!

O is for: Online. Where we live. Technically… I’m breaking the fourth wall again aren’t I?

P is for: Pepsi. Pure evil.

Q is for: Quick! Hand me a Coke!

R is for: RAWK! That’s what I do!

S is for: Super Awesome Fighting Force!

T is for: Totally need another Coke right now.

U is for: Undisputed King of Cool. AKA me.

V is for: Vengeance. I’ll have it soon. Make me do the alphabet will ya you lousy… *mutter mutter mutter*

W is for: Waldo. Why can’t I ever find him!?

X is for: X-Hunters. A pain in the ass from day one.

Y is for: Yuber. My sworn enemy.

Z is for: Zilch. I’ve got nothing for this.

Narrator: Thanks Rebel! See you next time folks.

Rebel: Headbutt a bullet.

The End

* * *

Indigestion
By Outlaw88

*One fine day*

Metabad: DUUUUDE! You gotta play me on this!

Shadowstrike: We’ve been playing this same tired SNES for like 5 hours. Don’t you have a newer system?

Metabad: I used to. I had some RAWKIN stuff right here in front of the couch, but…

Majin: I’VE LOST MY BUTT!

Shadowstrike: He threw up on it huh?

Metabad: Yup.

*Outlaw walks in*

Outlaw: *Buuuuuuuuurp* Yo.

Metabad and Shadowstrike: Sup?

Outlaw: Just had a drinking contest with Rebel.

Majin: Drink?! I’d love one! *runs into a wall*

Shadowstrike: Who won?

Outlaw: We ran out so it was a draw. I’m feelin’ kinda funny though.

Metabad: You don’t look like a clown!

Shadowstrike: (Thank God for that…) Why?

Outlaw: I dunno… I don’t think I’ve had this much carbonation before… HIC!

*An Xbox apperas in front of Metabad*

Metabad: ZOMG!!!!!!

Outlaw: Huh… That was weird… HIC!

*A brick appears and lands on Majin’s head*

Shadowstrike: Outlaw?

Outlaw: Yeah?

Shadowstrike: How are you doing that?

Outlaw: Doing what? HIC!

*A bucket lands on Shadow*

Shadowstrike: THAT!

Outlaw: Beats me.

Metabad: *Dancing with the Xbox* Dude! You RAWK! What else can you make?

Outlaw: I just told you I have no i… HIC!

*A flower pot explodes*

Shadowstrike: It seems everytime you hiccup something happens.

Outlaw: You know… I’ve never had the hiccups before.

Metabad: Are you magic?

Majin: Trick poney…

Outlaw: I don’t think so.

Metabad: Did you eat all the Lucky Charms?

Outlaw: We have Lucky Charms?! HIC!

*Giant rubber duck appears on the ocean*

Shadowstrike: I’ve got it! Remember way back when Rebel and I tried to blow up a Pepsi factory*?

*See Series 2, Epilogue #14, “The Really Effed Up Misadventure”

Outlaw: A little.

Shadowstrike: Remember that thing you ate? What was its name…

Majin: Chocolate… Factory…

Metabad: Wonka?

Shadowstrike: No, no no… Charlie! Do you remember that?

Outlaw:… Um… OH YEAH! That mutant goldfish thing! It granted wishes!

Shadowstrike: Right! So maybe you absorbed some of its power.

Outlaw: That sounds weird.

Rebel: What the hell is going on in here?!

Metabad, Shadowstrike, Outlaw: OH CRAP!

Majin: SPRINKLES!

Rebel: I need a Coke and I need one right now! I’ll start slicing off limbs if I don’t get…

Outlaw: HIC!

*Giant Coke can lands on Rebel*

Rebel: I WILL KILL… Wait… YES! This is so cool! *dives in*

Shadowstrike: Let’s leave.

Metabad: K.

Outlaw: First I shoot lasers out of my mouth and now this… Why do I have to be the vessel for the strange?

Shadowstrike: Just lucky I guess.

Outlaw: Speaking of that… Let’s go eat cereal.

Metabad and Shadowstrike: WOOOOO!

The End

* * *

Crash Diet
By Rebel40000

*On the Whale King*

Rebel: So, recently I’ve gotten into dieting.

Shadowstrike: *piloting* Really? You don’t look the type.

Rebel: Shut up. So, as I was saying, I’ve gotten into dieting.

Shadowstrike: So what exactly have you been doing?

Rebel: Well, I decided to completely stop taking anything that has Vitamin B in it.

Shadowstrike: Cool. Feel any difference?

Rebel: No, not really. Although, I think if I keep up the pace I’ll eventually feel somethi–*passes out on top of Shadow*

Shadowstrike: *eyes get covered* I CAN’T SEE!! *drives ship into a volcano*

*The volcano erupts upon impact*

Shadowstrike: *gets covered in magma* OH MY GOD REBEL WAKE UUUUUUUUP!!

Rebel: *also covered in magma* …

Shadowstrike: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

*The screen suddenly blinks and goes black like a television turning off. In place of the previous screen a man in a suit appears, sitting on a stool.*

Man: The moral of this story? If you diet you will crash into an erupting volcano.

The End

* * *

“Hangman”
By Avi

Avi: Alright, kids, it’s six o’ clock! It’s time for…

Dark Knight: …Bed. It’s 12:40 AM. Learn to read the damn clock, you senile old hag.

Avi: Manners, please! I ain’t blind, son. *points to a print of Salvador Dali’s La Persistencia de la Memoria—AKA “that painting with the melting clocks”*

Shadowstrike: …Yeah… should we tell her?

Avi: Nope, nope, don?t say a word. Trust me, kid, it’s six o’ clock. In fact, it’s been 6:00 ever since I hung this painting on the wall eight and a half hours ago.

Sean: …

Rebel: …

Majin: …derrr nawt evven me zat delushionul *hic*

Outlaw: Give the old lady a break, guys. You know she has trouble discerning artwork from reality…

Metabad: …WHOA WAIT. If it is 6:00 now, and was 6:00 when she put the painting up all those hours ago… then she has… the ability to stop time?! DUDE, THAT RAWKS! *rawks*

Sean: Or maybe the clock in the painting just needs new batteries. Who can say.

Dark Knight: Or maybe it needs a… jolt of electricity…

Avi: Ooooooookay, before we get into another gag at the snail child’s expense… as I was saying, it’s 6:00. That means it’s time for… HANGMAN!

Rebel: Hangman, you say? Oh, what the hell. I do fancy myself a good public execution every once in a while. *sips coke*

Dark Knight: Me too. I just love watching people suffer… TEE HEE!

Avi: No, no, no! The idea is to save Hangman from such a cruel fate! And he can only be saved if one utters the magic word…

*Avi produces a marker, and begins drawing on the wall.*

_ _ _ _ _

Avi: Alright, class. The category is “food.” Guess one letter at a time, 123go!

*There is a brief silence. Evidentally, most of the team aren’t even interested in playing.*

Majin: *snores, while passed out atop the table*

Avi: Why, yes! There are two Z’s!

_ _ Z Z _

Metabad: Yo, be right back you guys, I gots to go peeeeeeee… *rawks his way to the restroom*

Avi: One “P!”

P _ Z Z _

Dark Knight: “R.”

Avi: …Ack! Watch it! *draws Hangman’s head on the gallows* Please, only two more letters to go! You can still save the poor guy…

Rebel: “Q.”

Avi: NO! Please, be serious! Hangman’s life is depending on your guesses, people!

Rebel: “No”, you say? There is a Q. There is because I say so. Leader privileges and all that. *grins fiendishly*

Avi: *drawing Hangman’s torso* …Be serious, boy! Do you honestly think there is a “Q” is “PIZZA”?!

Rebel: Yes. Now be a good little follower and put that Q up there!

Avi: Mumble mumble… *draws a line on the end of Hangman’s circular torso, to make it look like a “Q”*

Shadowstrike: Wow, you gave Hangman a whole extra limb for one wrong guess? You must really want him dead!

Avi: *looks at her Q, then back at Rebel* You-you’re tricking me into killing Hangman… aren’t you… you monster…!

Rebel: *sips coke in the most suspiciously innocent fashion possible*

Shadowstrike: Oh, and I know what the answer is. POTATO!

Dark Knight: No, it’s POP CORN!

Majin: …beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer…

Avi: …What’s wrong with you people? I thought that I was the delusional one ’round here!

Sean: You know, in Hangman, when you guess the whole word wrong… don’t you think you should add a limb for each wrong letter? Sure, Shadow got the A, and we already have the P, but the rest of the letters make… 7 incorrect guesses.

Outlaw: Oooooh… alas, poor Hangman, I knew ye well. …Can I have his remains?

Avi: … *twitch*

Sean: What? Outlaw’s eaten worse before.

Avi: … *turns red*

Everyone else: …

Avi: …DO YOU INSOLENT CHILDREN NOT UNDERSTAND? HANGMAN IS NO MERE GAME. AN INNOCENT LIFE WAS AT STAKE, AND YOU LET HIM DIE WITH YOUR SHEER LACK OF COMMON SENSE. YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF BLOODTHIRSTY MURDERERS, YOU HEAR?! I HOPE YOU’RE ALL HAPPY WITH YOURSELVES, AND I HOPE YOU ALL ROT IN HELL. AND WHEN YOU?RE THERE, I HOPE YOU RUN INTO THE HANGMAN YOU JUST KILLED SO YOU CAN SEE HIS SORROW FOR YOURSELF–yeah, I’m pretty sure you’ll find him in hell, seeing as how he was at the gallows that would suggest he committed some sort of offense that would no doubt warrant capital punishment–but um… wait, did I just contradict myself? Who cares. Because you’re all monsters and I never want to see any of you ever again!! *flies away*

*Later, at the graveyard…*

Avi: *finishes scribbling on one of the graves* All done… rest easy, sweet prince…

Here lies
Green Biker Dude HANGMAN
21XX – 21XX

The End

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