Posts Tagged ‘Story’

Lemmy’s Day with Morton

April 29, 2016

Lemmy’s Day with Morton

A Lesson in Koopa Marching

Written by Outlaw88

 

Lemmy Koopa is my favorite Koopaling and Mario character in general. I also liked the odd family dynamic he and all the other Koopas shared and thought it would be fun to come up with some stories based around them.

My head cannon is a bit different than some of the others I’ve seen. To me their ages have been somewhat left open to debate as well as their relationship with Bowser and each other. Since Bowser and Mario are fairly close in age I can go along with the idea that the original Koopalings are not his biological children. However that doesn’t mean he couldn’t have adopted them.  Only Bowser Jr. is his son by blood. Speaking of which, I also go along with Ludwig being the eldest but in my head, Lemmy would be the youngest of the original seven due to his size and childlike nature. He and Bowser Jr. would be very close in age to me.  I’ll do character traits and further explanations of things as I go along, otherwise I’ll never get to the story at hand. Just keep in mind that I’m writing this for fun and I’ll try to fill in any gaps as I go.

The idea behind this story and some of the other ideas I have will focus on Lemmy trying to spend a day with each of his older siblings. Due to his silly and energetic nature the others sometimes ignore him and tend to do their own things, when they aren’t picking on him for being so small or course. Lemmy knows that it’s all in fun and simply wants to play and build his relationship with his siblings. Though he knows it may be a challenge since some of them get more involved in their activities than others. Ludwig for example is very into music and can spend all day in his room practicing the various instruments he can play, while Iggy tends to get caught up with his mechanical studies and work.

Intro over. On to the story!

 

Lemmy was running down one of the huge halls of the castle where he lived with much excitement.  He had just come up with the best idea ever! He was going to spend all day with somebody and… He hadn’t actually thought it all the way through but it was a good start. He was sure there was more to it than that but he would figure it out as he went. Now all he had to do was find one of his brothers or sister. When not on missions for their Dad they have been spending less time around each other lately.

“No fun in that. I wonder how come that is?” Lemmy asked aloud.

He stopped to think of where they all might be today. As he did this he magically summoned his favorite toy, a large ball with a star pattern on it. Without hesitation he hopped on top of it and found his balance with ease. He was very acrobatic and did this like it was second nature.

Hmm. I think Wendy and Pom Pom went shopping today. Roy’s probably in the gym. Maybe Iggy is…

Before he could finish his thought the sounds of shouting grabbed his attention. That’s right! Morton was in the courtyard training the Koopa Troopas! It was kinda weird that their Dad put Morton in charge of it but if anyone could yell loud enough for an entire army to hear it would be him. Maybe Morton would like some company? Or maybe he would have time for a game of catch? Only one way to find out! Lemmy got the ball rolling.

He went down a flight of stairs and found himself on the higher section of the area. Below in the main area was a fairly large group of Koopa Troops who were either doing some kind of exercise or walking back and forth. In front of him stood Morton and Boom Boom who were watching them and shouting commands. Their backs were to Lemmy so they hadn’t yet noticed the little Koopas arrival.

“BOOM BOOM!” Lemmy yelled in delight as he rushed over to the large Koopa.

Both Morton and Boom Boom turned in surprise. What in the name of the Mushroom Kingdom was Lemmy doing here? Boom Boom, who was normally so serious, couldn’t help but smile and open his big arms wide. Lemmy bounced off his ball and flew at his large friend.

“Lemmy! How’s my little buddy?” He said catching the youngster and giving him a hug. He liked Lemmy quite a bit. Though he was a goof he was by far the nicest of the Koopalings and was always a joy to see.

“I’m good. More than good! I came up with something great!” The little one chimed. He was so happy to see Boom Boom that he hadn’t noticed that Morton was looking at him with a mixture of annoyance and anger.

“Your brother and I are a bit busy right now.”  He said while still holding Lemmy in his arms.

“I know, but…” Lemmy started to say.

“Lemmy. What are you doing here?” Morton growled. It was bad enough that their Father assigned him to this job. He didn’t need this on top of it.

“I want to spend the day with you! We never get to play together and…”

“Play?! You think I’m playing?! Do you have any idea what I’m doing?!” Morton said with a snarl.

“Um… No actually. What are you doing?” Lemmy asked as Boom Boom put him down.

Morton put his hand to head and slid it down his face. He motioned for Boom Boom to take over watching the troops as he walked over to Lemmy. The size difference between the two was really a sight to see. Morton was nearly the size of Bowser himself and was easily taller and larger than Boom Boom. Next to Lemmy he seemed like a giant.

“Listen shrimp, Dad put me in charge of training this group. I don’t have time to mess around with whatever weird thing you came up with. Go and bother someone else.” Morton said sternly.

“But it isn’t weird at all. I just want to hang out with you. You don’t look like you’re having fun anyway so maybe I can help!”  Lemmy said excitedly.

“This isn’t supposed to be fun. I didn’t ask to do this you know.” Morton said as his annoyance grew.

“Then why are you doing it then?” Lemmy asked confusedly.

“The King felt Morton was getting too lazy.” Boom Boom remarked. He had turned his attention away from the troops and was watching the two of them. Lemmy snickered at this.

“SHUT UP AND A BOUT FACE!” yelled Morton. Boom Boom quickly turned around.

“It has a star on it!” Lemmy said with a smile.

“What?” Morton said as he returned his attention to the little Koopa.

“You said about face so I said something about your face.” Lemmy had no idea why but Morton was starting to look really angry.

“That means turn around. Which is what you should do right now. Turn around and go back up those stairs and leave me alone.”  Morton said while looking even more annoyed.

Lemmy was persistent though. He just knew he and Morton could have fun somehow and he was determined to follow his idea, though he was still trying to figure out the second part of it.

“Come on Morton, please? This all looks so cool! You just yell things and they do it?” Lemmy asked while trying to look at both Morton and the activity below. Morton signed.

“Something like that. We’re working on marching in full armor today. I give the commands for what direction they march, how fast, when to turn, and when to stop.”

“Neat! Can I help?” He asked while wagging his tail excitedly.

“How could you possible help? You didn’t even know what we were doing a few minutes ago. Just get…” Morton was trying to say.

“You could show me! Yeah! You could teach me about marching and stuff!” Lemmy said with a jump. At first Morton continued to look at Lemmy with his arms crossed and anger on his face. But soon an idea came to him which made him show an evil grin.

“You want to learn how to march? I think we can make that work.” He then turned to Boom Boom and the troops.

“Company Halt!” He yelled. The troops did as they were told instantly.

“Everyone front and center and back in formation. You can be at ease until I give you further instructions.” Morton called out.

While the troops were moving Morton grabbed Lemmy by his little arm and led him down the steps onto the main courtyard. Boom Boom followed them with a worried look.

“Ok Lemmy, I’m going to quickly show you the basics on how to march and what commands mean what. Boom Boom, while I’m doing this go and get the smallest set of armor we have.” Morton commanded with a stern voice.

“Yes sir.” Said Boom Boom. He didn’t like where this was heading but knew better than to question things.

As he walked away Morton returned his attention to his younger brother who was looking up at him with a big smile.

“We’ll start with standing at attention. When I say attention, this is how you stand.” Morton then proceeded to demonstrate. Lemmy followed along.

“Now, normally you can’t move from that position until I say so, but for now we’ll just run through what you need to know.”

Lemmy proved to be a fast learner. Morton went through the steps on how to turn and how to march saying the commands for each and Lemmy seemed to be picking it up with relative ease. There was some snickering heard from the troops watching. It was amusing to see the tiny Koopa emulate the larger one.

Lemmy was quite pleased with himself. Who knew this could be so much fun? Morton seemed to be cheering up too which made him very happy.

“Not bad Lemmy. Not bad at all. But of course, this was just the warm up. The real fun begins now.” He said while pointing at the returning Boom Boom.

“This was the smallest I could find, but I don’t think it will fit him.” Said the large Koopa.

In his hands was the armor set the rest of the troops were using. Due to their shells, Koopas rarely need protection for their backs, so a standard set of Koopa armor usually consists of a helmet, gauntlets, and a vest.

“Don’t worry, we’ll make it work. All right ya little runt, let’s get you suited up.” Morton said as his grin widened.

This will drive the crazy kid away for sure once he feels how heavy all this stuff is. Morton thought as he took the armor from Boom Boom.

Lemmy eagerly walked over to Morton and held out his arms to his sides. This was so cool! He was going to look like a Koopa Troopa too! Morton was such a cool big brother for… This thought was interrupted as Morton put the helmet on Lemmy’s head. Though in this case “put” is a nice way of saying he nearly dropped it on him.

As Boom Boom feared the armor was far too big for the boy. The helmet nearly covered his eyes and the vest went past his knees. The only reason the gauntlets stayed in place was because Morton tightened the straps right away. He then proceeded to tighten the straps for the rest of the set. Morton made no effort to hide that he was being anything but gentle in this process.

It was almost comical to see Lemmy dressed as he was. It looked like a set of armor had come to life and was standing on its own. You could hardly see his feet or arms and the only reason you could see part of his face was due to him leaning the helmet back a bit so that he could see.

“What do you think?” Morton asked with a grin.

At first Lemmy wasn’t sure what to say. The armor was heavy but he didn’t think it was too bad.  Maybe it was because he was always so active or something but he felt like he could handle this. Kamek always said that he was “deceptively strong” whatever that meant. What really hurt was the straps. They were so tight! But the armor would fall off otherwise, and besides, Morton did it so he must know what he’s doing.

“Well?” Morton said impatiently.

“It’s great! I’m like a real Troopa!” Lemmy said with excitement.

“And that’s the idea. You are going to be a real Troopa.” Morton said as he then turned to face the on looking troops.

“Attention! Koopa Troopas make room for our new recruit for the day. Get in line Lemmy!”

As soon as Morton gave the command the troops got ready as well as made a space for Lemmy in the back row.

“Huh? But I thought…” Lemmy tried to say.

“GET IN LINE! ON THE DOUBLE!” Yelled Morton at the top of his lungs.

Lemmy gave a surprised gasp and tried to run to his place in line. This proved to be far more difficult than he anticipated. He got halfway to his spot but tripped and fell. The vest was very front heavy and he wasn’t used to the extra weight. The helmet kept blocking his sight too.

“No laying down little Troopa!” Morton bellowed with a laugh.

Lemmy got to his feet and joined the line. He stood between two red shelled Troopas who were staring ahead and waiting for the next command. Lemmy stood at attention as Morton and Boom Boom went back up to the ledge to make sure they could see everyone.

“Ok troops listen up! I’ll be watching your movements carefully. Boom Boom will be instructing you so make sure you don’t mess up.” Morton yelled.

“Are you still sure you want to spend the day here Lemmy? You can always go back.”

Lemmy shook his head. “No way! I’m ready big bro!”

Morton gave Boom Boom a nod.

“FORWARD MARCH!” Boom Boom yelled and with that things began.

Right away Lemmy began having problems. He was able to find the rhythm of the march alright but since he was so much shorter than the others he kept falling behind. He was looking at his own feet to make sure he was marching in time with the others the first time it happened and only when he looked up did he realize he had fallen several paces back. He almost tripped again as he tried to run and catch up but was able to rejoin the line. He found he could stay in formation a little bit then have to run when he began to fall back.  His little legs simply couldn’t keep up and he kept having to tilt his helmet back from over his face.

“RIGHT TURN!” Came the next command.

Lemmy made a good attempt at it but was unable to pull it off without falling down again. It kind of hurt but was also a little embarrassing. He was normally so good at balancing. He was glad he was a pace or so behind when the command was given, otherwise he would have toppled onto one of the other troops. He got back up as fast as he could and ran to catch up again. Unfortunately his helmet once again blocked his vision and he ended up running into the back of a Troopa. Thankfully he didn’t hit him hard and everything seemed to be ok.

“LEFT TURN!” Boom Boom roared.

This time Lemmy was ready and was able to turn correctly. He still couldn’t keep up with the troops though and now the weight of the armor was starting to get to him. However this seemed like a minor thing compared to the straps. One under his chin to keep the helmet on, two straps per gauntlet and who knows how many for the vest, all he knew was that they all hurt. His shoulders in particular were really bothering him.

“Still time to give up Lemmy!” Morton called with a laugh. Lemmy was too busy keeping up to respond.

“You’re being too hard on him.” Boom Boom said. He was growing concerned.

“Who asked you?” Morton said with a snort.

“Besides I’m sure he’ll quit soon. Especially after I take command again. Tell them to stop.” He said with a sneer.

“COMPANY HALT!” Yelled Boom Boom.

Everyone stood at attention though Lemmy’s version of it wasn’t exactly right. He couldn’t help it. He was out of breath and panting slightly from all the running and his legs were getting tired. Spending time with Morton was a lot more work than he thought. Speaking of Morton he was once again heading down the steps to be at the same level as the troops. Lemmy wondered what was coming next.

The two troops that flanked his sides knew of course. They looked down at the little Koopa and then at each other and gave a nod.

“One last chance before things get really tough pipsqueak.” Morton said as he got to his spot. Lemmy just shook his head.

“Ok. I warned you. READY? DOUBLE TIME MARCH!” “He roared.

Double time? Oh no! How am I going to keep up now? Lemmy thought in a panic. But as soon as the command was given the two troops on his sides both hooked their arms under his. They brought him up to their height and had no problems supporting him as they quickly marched in formation. Lemmy looked at them in confusion.

“Don’t worry. Just focus on moving your feet in time.” Said one

“No Troopas left behind.” Said the other.

“Thank you!” Lemmy said and began to move his dangling feet.

They continued like this throughout all of Morton’s commands. Lemmy once again was able to find the rhythm and was able to watch his legs match up with the troops around him.

“COMPANY HALT! STAND AT ATTENTION!” Morton yelled.

The two troops put Lemmy down and quickly stood straight. Lemmy did the same and waited to see what was going to happen next. Both Morton and Boom Boom were heading his way.

“Good work Troopas. Well done. However, one among you failed to keep up several times and needs discipline. Lemmy! Front and center!” Morton said sternly.

Lemmy did as he was told. He was almost afraid to adjust his helmet to be able to look at his older brother. He was also worried that looking up might make him fall over again.

“You fell out of line, as well as disrupted your fellow troops by running into them and making them carry you. You owe me ten pushups.” Morton said.

“But.. But I…” Lemmy stammered.

“NO TALKING BACK! TWENTY PUSHUPS! DROP!” Morton screamed.

Terrified, Lemmy fell to his knees and got into the pushup position. There was a slight murmur from the troops as they watched this unfold. Boom Boom tried to put his hand on Morton’s shoulder to try and get him to let up. Morton shrugged him off.

“Start on my mark. Unless, of course you want to give up.” He said.

This had to be it. No way that the shrimp could want to keep going now. Morton thought. However, Lemmy simply shook his head.

“Begin.” Morton said and watched as the tiny Koopa began to do the pushups.

Lemmy was able to get through the first three fine but visibly began to struggle soon after. He was tired, the armor was heavy and he was hurting. But he had to do it. He just had to!

I’m past five now. Ok here comes six. I can do this. I can…

Just as he finished his seventh his arms gave out. He fell to the floor with a thud. Morton laughed loudly.

“Ha! Is that all you got? Come on, get up!” Morton called. He took a few steps towards the little Koopa.

“I said get…”

Before he could finish he spotted Lemmys face. He could see the beginnings of tears forming in his eyes. Maybe Boom Boom was right. Maybe he had taken things too far. He leaned down and got in close.

“Lemmy. It’s ok. This is a lot for a little guy like you. There’s no shame in quitting.” He said softly.

“I.. I just wanted… To spend time with.. sniff… you. Lemmy managed to say. The tears were now beginning to flow.

“I wanted to s-show that… I’m glad we’re brothers.” Lemmy squeaked as he tried in vain to fight back the tears.

Morton was stunned. Lemmy put up with all of that just for him? Morton began to feel like the world’s biggest jerk. He looked over at Boom Boom who only shook his head in sadness. He then noticed that Lemmy was still struggling to do another pushup. But before he could react one of the troops spoke up.

“Sir! I will gladly do the remainder of my fellow Troopas pushups!” He yelled. Another stepped forward.

“Sir! I too would gladly do the rest!” Several other Troopas began to volunteer.

“Back in Line! I didn’t say you could be at ease!” Morton yelled.

“But sir!”

“Shut Up! No one will be doing the rest of his pushups. No one except me. You can stop now Lemmy.”

At this Morton bent down and helped Lemmy to his feet. He then proceeded to do the full twenty that he had called for. Once done he knelt before his little brother.

“Looks like I was the one who really needed the discipline. I think I went a little overboard there. Uh… Sorry.” He said while wiping away some of the tears on Lemmys face.

“It’s ok. I thought you were having fun.” Lemmy said having regained his composure.

“No. I wasn’t. Like I said this isn’t supposed to be fun. But I think we can make it that way.”

Morton took Lemmys hand and led him out in front of the group. Boom Boom followed and the three of them stood ahead of the troops. Morton then put Lemmy out in front.

“Listen up! We’re going to do some marching songs and we’ll be going at Lemmy’s pace. Understood?” Morton bellowed.

“YES SIR!” The troops responded with force.

“Marching songs?” Lemmy asked. Boom Boom nodded.

“We’ll show you how it’s done. You’ll get it real quick.” He said.

“When I give the command, just march normally. Don’t worry about us or the troops, we’ll adjust to your speed. Ready squirt?” Morton said. Lemmy gave an excited nod.

“MARCH!” He yelled.

Lemmy began marching and to his surprise his brother and Boom Boom were following his lead. Not only that, Morton was right about the troops being able to match his speed. He didn’t have to worry about keeping up with anybody at all! Then he heard Morton start to “sing” and soon Lemmy began to understand what marching songs were.

“I don’t know what I’ve been told.” Morton started and the Troops repeated.

“Kamek sure is getting old.

He will never ever clean your room

Cuz he only flies on that broom.”

Lemmy giggled. Now this was fun!

“Sound off!” and the troops responded “One two!

“Sound off!”

“Three four!”

“Sound off one two… Three Four!” they all sang together at this part.

Boom Boom then began a song about how they were going to pummel Mario and Luigi.  Lemmy sang along with this one and was really getting into it. Once it was over he called out to Morton.

“I think I got it. Can I do one?” Lemmy asked.

“Sure, go for it!” Morton replied. Lemmy then sang out in a high clear voice:

“I don’t know what I’ve been told.

Morton’s stare is mighty cold.

He’s big and strong and real tough too.

So watch out or he’ll clobber you!”

As he sang he began to lead them back to where they had started having gone all the way around the courtyard.

“Sound off!

One two!

Sound off!

Three four!

Sound off one two… Three four!” As they finished Morton raised his arms.

“Company! Halt!” He then walked in front of the troops.

“At ease and dismissed! Great job everyone!”

The troops gave a cheer. This was an unexpected way end to their usual training and they were glad for it. Many were impressed at the determination of the little Koopa who was still standing in place, unsure of what to do next.

“At ease means you don’t have to stand like that anymore Lemmy.” Said Boom Boom with a grin.

Lemmy ran over to Morton and gave him a hug as soon as he reached him.

“Great marching song little bro.” Morton said as he returned the embrace.

“I meant it too. You taught me a lot today. I had no idea…” but before he could finish Morton cut him off.

“Oh no. If anything I learned from you today. No matter how hard I made it for you, you just wouldn’t give up. And despite how mean I was you stuck with it because… Well, you did have a nice idea after all. And hey, you showed me that I can make this fun if I try.”

Lemmy smiled at his brother. He was about to say something but his helmet slid down over his face.

“Can I take this stuff off now?” He asked.

Morton chuckled at this and began to help Lemmy remove the heavy armor. What a relief! His colorful Mohawk sprang back into place the moment the helmet was removed. Once it was all off Lemmy felt much better if not a little sore. Boom Boom began to gather up the pieces from Morton.

“I think it must be dinner time. I can smell the food from here. You two go on back. I’ll clean up here.” Boom Boom said before adding.

‘Well done Lemmy.” And gave the tiny Koopa a gentle pat on the head.

“Thanks Boom Boom.” Lemmy said with a smile.

As he was about to turn towards the entryway Morton picked him up instead and began walking up the stairs.

“I think you’ve marched enough for right now. How about I carry you to the dining hall and you can sing that song about me again?” Morton said as he made his way into the castle.

Lemmy gave a laugh and began singing again with Morton repeating. They continued like this until they were just outside the great dining hall. Here Morton put Lemmy down and they made their way to their seats.

King Bowser Koopa always insisted that no matter what he and his children were up to during that day, they all gather for dinner at night. This way if they had any news to report about Mario and the Mushroom Kingdom, or if they had made any advances with their magic or machines, they would all hear it. But usually they just talked about the things they did that day which was just fine too. Morton, being the loudest and more longwinded of the group often went first. Lemmy was normally quiet during dinner since he felt that he should let the older ones with important things to say do the talking.

“Well Morton, how’s training the Koopa Troopas going?” Bowser asked while looking at his largest son.

“It went great today!” Morton started.

He then went into extensive detail about his day, exaggerating some points while overlooking others. He told of how Lemmy just had to learn from a master and how effortless it was for him to pass on his knowledge. He didn’t mention how many times Lemmy fell down or that he nearly made him cry his eyes out. The other Koopalings were actually very interested in hearing about all this. The thought of their little brother marching around with the troops amused them. Morton was quite enjoying all the attention.

“Was he really able to wear all that armor?” Roy asked amazed.

“Yeah! It was a tad too big but he did it just fine. He’s a lot tougher than he looks.”

“What made you decide to put him out in front?” Asked Wendy inquisitively.

“Well, I figured he deserved a reward for doing a good job.”

“And you sang?” Larry said while giving Morton an odd look.

“Must have been like nails on a chalk board.” Added Iggy.

“I bet Boom Boom wished he had ear muffs.” Laughed Jr.

“Heh. Yeah my singing is pretty terrible. But you should have heard Lemmy. I had no idea he could sing so nice.” Morton replied while scratching the back of his head.

“Really? Hmm. Very interesting.” Mused Ludwig.

“He even made up a song about me. Hey, Lemmy! Sing that song again! Uh… Lemmy?”

They all turned their heads towards the end of the table. Lemmys head was resting on the table with his eyes closed and uneaten dinner pushed aside. His soft breathing was the only sound he made as he slept. Everyone turned their heads back towards Morton.

“Must have worn him out.” Commented Bowser as he surveyed the scene.

“I guess I did. I’ll bring him to bed. I’ll be right back.”

Morton then got up and went over to where Lemmy was sitting. He gently lifted the younger out of his booster seat and placed him on his shoulder. As he left the dining hall and began to make his way to Lemmy’s room he began to notice the beginnings of several bruises forming where he had strapped the armor in place. He really hoped the others hadn’t noticed that. He would have to think of something to tell them later. He soon reached Lemmy’s bedroom and walked in. He pulled down the sheets and gently placed the little Koopa in bed. Just as he was about to leave he heard Lemmy stir.

“Morton? I had a good time today. Thanks for letting me hang out with you.” Lemmy said sleepily.

“You did good little bro. You’ll have to sing that song for them tomorrow.” Morton said with a chuckle.

“Sure.” Lemmy said. Barely keeping his eyes open.

“Get some sleep squirt.” Morton said with a smile as he began to leave the room.

“Morton? I love you.” Lemmy said softly as he began to drift back off to sleep.

Morton paused slightly before answering.

“Love you too.”

With that Morton exits the room, closing the door behind him. Lemmy smiled. His best idea ever really worked. He couldn’t wait to try it out with the rest of his family. He was soon sound asleep with dreams of fun and happiness dancing in his head.

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Scurvy and Rum

June 29, 2015

-1880-London-

The night is cold and wet as the thunderstorm begins to worsen and to pound the English shore. Not far from the harbor there is a pub where two rugged men are sharing a table and a large mug of beer to keep filling the flagons they have in their calloused hands. Despite the late hour the barkeep doesn’t mind these two, or to be more precise, he knows better than to try and enforce rules on them. Pirates after all can be a problem if they are angry; but serve them what they want and keep them drunk and happy? They’ll cause no trouble and if they are especially pleased will even pay for what they eat and drink. The barkeep, a shrewd balding man of short stature, has dealt with these two before and knows how to keep them in good spirits. He even likes them a little bit as they seem to be decent fellows as pirates go.

The first pirate, a tall and lean man with the beginnings of a pot belly, a short well trimmed beard, and small scar on his chin, takes another swig of his beer. With a laugh he says.

“This is a good night for a drink what with the weather be’in too bad for us to sail eh’ Rum Jon?”

Jon, a large, hulking brute of a man with long scraggly hair that hung over his dirty face that showed a grin, replied.

“Oh aye Captain Scurvy, every night no matter the weather is a fine night for drinking!”

They laughed loud and heartily at this and both took another long drink of their flagons.

“Tis true, very true indeed mate”

Scurvy says as Jon refills their flagons and motions for the barkeep to bring them another mug.

“Hey Jon, we been through a lot together ain’t we?”

Still with a grin Jon answered

‘Indeed we have. We seen some sights that many a man have never dreamed of. Like when we got lost on our way back home from Morocco and we ended going around in circles.”
“Ah yes because my dratted compass had gotten waterlogged.”

Finished the Captain with a laugh as he recalled how he and his crew practically had to start a war with the natives
to get a replacement.

“How about the time when you and I were lads and we set off to find treasure?”

Jon smiled as his memory went back to the days when they were children. Even then they were both obsessed with adventure and the thrill of discovering treasure, both large and small.

“That little raft we made of driftwood that we used to cross the stream just out of town. That was the real start of all this. How you came about a map is beyond me but sure enough it led us to our first chest of treasure.”

“Oh aye treasure it was, just an old trunk with some clothes in it. Not worth a thing to anyone but us.”

Said the Captain. He then turned to the barkeep and shouted.

“Bring us some food on the double! Roasted pork will do us fine and don’t hold back non on the dressings.”

“Give us some bread too”

Added Rum Jon. The barkeep nodded and quickly went to the kitchen to get them what they wanted. He did not want to miss their conversation. Talk of adventure, pirates, and treasure always excited him.

“Captain, where did you get that map anyway?”

Scurvy smiled at his old friend.

“Jon I drew it on some paper. I’ve always been good at drawing up maps and I did it just for fun. I had no idea we would actually find
somethin’. It’s a wonder how things turned out for us since that. We even joined the royal navy together.”
Jon chuckled at learning that their discovery had been by chance.

“Aye the RN taught us the sea and now we either fight or run from them.”

Their food now in front of them they begin to feast while they talk.

“Say Jon, where did your nickname come from? You never drink rum. It always disagreed with you. ”

As he wiped some juice away from his mouth he replied.

“While in the navy I used to break rum bottles over my head for a laugh. The name just stuck after that. I always had me a hard head.”

They both laughed at this and continued to eat. Jon knew about his Captain’s name. Chris Mattern, while serving on board his first naval ship learned the hard way on what to eat while at sea. He got so sick that the navy nearly discharged him once they got him back on land to recover. Since then he took the nickname as both a joke and a reminder of hard lessons learned. With the food now gone the two pirates began to gather up their things. To show the barkeep that they meant no harm they had always left their weapons at the door. Their coats and hats however were on the floor near the table and these they now picked up.

“Say Jon, why do you always have to be so formal? You needn’t call me Captain when it’s just you and me here. I appreciate it when its in front of the crew, but we been mates for as long as I can recall.”

“I know.”

Jon replied

“I just keep to habit is all. If I started calling you by your first name all the time I would forget to keep to titles later. Besides Chris Scurvy doesn’t have the same ring to it. Speaking of the crew, we need to do some recruitin’ soon. Our last fight with those French dogs hurt us plenty it did.”

Before Captain Scurvy could answer they both turned in surprise when the barkeep leaps from where he stood and begged to be let on board. The pirates stood looking at him for a minute in silence and glanced at each other. Both broke out in laughter.

‘Captain we have ourselves an adventurous one. What say you?”

Laughing loud Scurvy ordered:

“We can always use a man like that, bring everything of value from this place and get it on the ship on the double. We’ll make a
pirate of you yet!”

Gonna Rest My Bones

February 24, 2015

By Rebel40000

*It was a hot, sunny day at an old, dusty town known as Sangria. It was essentially a “living ghost town”, the remains of the old wild west, surrounded by the vast technology that the rest of the world had flourished in. As the few locals that still lived in the town continued with their overly simple lifestyles, a certain visitor had just arrived…*

Rebel: *wearing a tattered cloak for protection* Damn desert, blowing sand all over the place. I swear I keep thinking that Flannery chick’ll pop out at any moment screaming “SAND FOR EVERYONE” or something stupid… *sees a man* Hey, ‘scuse me!

Man: *looking down sweeping a porch* What’cha wantin’, youngster?

Rebel: I really need a damn drink. Can you tell me where to go?

Man: Ya mean the pub? Well, let me see… *looks up at Rebel* OH GOD, DON’T HURT ME!! *runs inside*

Rebel: …Right. Moving on, then. *sees a woman* Hey you, can ya help a guy out here?

Woman: EEK!! *flees*

Rebel: Man, what a buncha weirdos. I’LL JUST FIND IT MYSELF, THEN!! *storms off*

*Elsewhere, on a cliff overlooking the town… We see two figures standing, looking down at the place, watching intently. The one in the front was a large Reploid, donned in red armor. The way it was constructed gave him the appearance of a knight.*

???: So, this is location that thou mentioned?

Cyphos: *standing further back* Yes, that is indeed the place! A lovely town, is it not? It’s a shame they refuse to do business with my store!

???: This place is even older than myself.

Cyphos: Well, that shouldn’t be any surprise since you are a Reploid, after all! I doubt you were made back in the 19th century! *laughs*

???: *turns to face Cyphos* Listen well, creten, for I shall make verily aware that thou understandest my true strength!

Cyphos: *rubbing hands together* Hahah, yes, sorry about that, old bean. Anyway, should we not be getting onto business?

???: There is no business to discuss with thee.

Cyphos: Oh, come now! Don’t be that way! *serious* There’s plenty to talk about.

???: Such as… what?

Cyphos: Like your mission, of course!

???: Hmph. Receiving my mission from such a lowly individual… one who wastes time with monkeys!

Cyphos: Hey, let’s not get all apprehensive, now! Although it was a bit of a mess having to release all of those monkeys onto that ship, the end result of gaining their trust was well worth it. *serious* The information it provided was extremely valuable. *smiling* So with this, we can continue with the next part of the plan!

???: Which is thus the assignment that thou art giving?

Cyphos: *raises arms* Precisely! See, the CIA’s former leader, Mr. Rebel40000, is located in that town.

???: Rebel…?

Cyphos: Yes… you may recognize him more by the name of “Magna Centipede”, however!

???: …

Cyphos: Anyway, he isn’t who we are looking for, since we know through a simple process of elimination, that of all the people, the chances of both him and Outlaw being the one is… zilch. But! And this is a big but–there is a good chance he may know something, and if he doesn’t, who cares! Which is where you come in, good friend.

???: So, thou hast decided to use me… for such perposterious plans!

Cyphos: Say what you will, but isn’t this what you’ve been waiting for for all this time? I really doubt you are in any situation to be complaining!

???: True…

Cyphos: So…?

???: …Fine, it shalt be done. By the time I am finished, “Rebel” shalt learn to fear thy name of Charlemagne!

Cyphos: Glad to hear it! *serious* Just remember, don’t kill him… yet. *grows a silly grin* Capture him, and then let me do the talking! There’s a number of things I want to confirm with him. After that, you can do whaaaateeeeveerrr you want!

Charlemagne: *eyeing Cyphos warily* Thou art certainly a strange, little man. *turns away* Thou makest clear, I find thou art a thorn in thy side. The Cult of Mechalcanos ill needs a fledgling such as yourself, who does not yet know his place!

Cyphos: Well, I’m sorry you feel that way, Mr. Charlemagne, but please… have some coupons! *hands out a book*

Charlemagne: *starts walking away* I do not go shopping.

Cyphos: *yelling* Well, be sure to always keep us in mind! And remember, no killing~!

Charlemagne: …

*Back in town, at the local bar…*

Rebel: *walks in tiredly*

Everyone: *stops what they are doing and stares*

Rebel: *ignores them and sits down at the counter*

Bartender: *cleaning a glass* What’ll it be, pal?

Rebel: Gimme a glass of Coke. On the rocks.

Bartender: A glass of… what?

Rebel: Coke. On the rocks.

Bartender: …Right away. *pulls out a random bottle from the shelf and begins to shake it*

Rebel: Say, is it just me, or is everyone around here acting really weird?

Bartender: Neeh, what makes ya say that? *drops some ice into a glass*

Rebel: Well, first asking around for directions was a pain in the ass, because everyone was acting all scared whenever I talked to them. And now I feel like I’m about to have a bunch of holes burned into the back of my head if they keep staring at me.

Bartender: Must be your imagination, pal. *pours the drink and serves it* There ya go, one cold glass of “Coke”, on the rocks.

Rebel: *grabs the glass* Thanks. *takes a swig* …Man, you guys sure do have funny tastin’ Coca-Cola. *shrugs and goes back to drinking*

Big Guy: *walks up next to Rebel* You a Reploid?

Rebel: *stops drinking* No, I’m just a guy who looks like a giant purple centipede with a tail. WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE!?

Big Guy: We don’t very much LIKE Reploids, comin’ to our town, startin’ trouble.

Rebel: *goes back to drinking*

Big Guy: Reploids are a buncha no-good troublemakers, so why don’tcha do us all a favor n’ git?

Man #1: Yeah, you tell him!

Rebel: *still drinking*

Big Guy: Well? Are ya listenin’ to me!?

Rebel: *finishes his glass and slams it down* Hey barkeep! Hook me up with another.

Bartender: Of course. *starts to pour another drink*

Big Guy: All right, that’s it! *grabs Rebel by the throat and lifts him up* You think yer gonna just ignore me like that!? You got another thing comin’!

*The man pulls his free arm back, getting ready to pulverize Rebel! Before he manages to hit him, Rebel suddenly vanishes from his grasp, causing the man to lunge out too far. During this, Rebel appears behind him and kicks him in the back, causing him to go flying out of the bar!*

Rebel: Yeah, what now, huh!?

Man #2: GET HIM!!

Rebel: Wait, what–*gets hit upside the head with a chair*

*The rest of the people in the bar, minus the bartender, suddenly spring into action, pouncing on Rebel as he recovers from the blow to the head.*

Rebel: *dodging the attacks* Man, you guys don’t KNOW what you are dealing with! *leg sweeps two of them*

Man: You ain’t gettin’ away with this! *pulls out a gun*

Rebel: *pulls out a beam saber and slices the gun into pieces*

Everyone: *gasp*

Rebel: What? You guys have never seen one of these before or something?

Man #1: It’s the work of the devil!

Man #3: I always knew Reploids were the work of Satan!

Man #4: LET’S GET OUTTA HERE!!

*The group of people quickly run away, minus the unconscious ones, Rebel, and the bartender.*

Rebel: …Well, whatever. *puts away the beam saber*

Bartender: *hands Rebel another drink* Here pal, this one’s on the house.

Rebel: Gee, thanks. *drinks* So now do you have some sorta explanation for all that?

Bartender: Neeh, probably has something to do with the fact that this is an extremely old town that doesn’t rely on the advanced technology of the outside world, and since you ARE advanced technology from the outside world, the rest of the citizens immediately find you to be a threat and want you to either leave or be done away with.

Rebel: I… see…

Bartender: Or they just hate your guts.

Rebel: Piss off. *drinks some more* MAN, this stuff is crazy awesome. It’s almost… rawksome… in a Majin-ish sorta way. Can I have another?

Bartender: Sure thing, pal. *pours another drink*

Rebel: Rawksomely awesome rawksome! *chugs it down and slams it* Whoaaa… suddenly da sky iz broon an mah teckst b flipin lol yoooo *passes out*

Bartender: Yessir, that’s how it always happens. And now to do my good deed for the day…

*A few hours later…*

Rebel: *wakes up* Uggh… where the heck am I? Huh? *sees he’s in a cell* What’s going on here!?

Sheriff: Ah, so yer awake, are ya?

Rebel: Are you the sheriff or something? Why am I in here!?

Sheriff: Well, after yer li’l stunt with some of the locals, and then getting yerself wasted, the barkeep felt it’d be best to have ya spend some time in here. So here ya are.

Rebel: …

Sheriff: By the way, only four glasses? Lightweight.

Rebel: WHY YOU–*grabs the bars and pulls on them*

Sheriff: Looks like someone needs to calm down a bit more. I think I’ll leave ya here the rest of the day.

Rebel: WHAT!?

Sheriff: ‘Sides, it’s gettin’ late. Consider it courtesy of the town of Sangria n’ all that. Oh, and don’t think that yer little powers will work in there, too. Unlike the rest of the town, the insides of the cells are outfitted with the latest equipment… just in case. *leaves*

Rebel: Hey, get back here and let me out! You can’t do this to me! Damn it…

*Realizing his stay was going to be longer than he had hoped, Rebel quickly walks over to the cheap-looking bed in his cell and lays down, staring at the ceiling while contemplating.*

Rebel: *thinking*It’s been… how long now since the team broke up? It feels like it’s been forever. *closes eyes* Man, I really was an idiot… After being thrown out of the Whale King, with everyone just up and leaving like that… all I’ve been able to do is just wander around with no destination… The drifter life sure ain’t easy… I just wonder… what the others… are doing right now…

*It does not take too long for Rebel to quickly fall asleep. During this he begins to have a strange dream…*

Rebel: *looking around* Huh? Where am I? And what’s up with my appearance? It’s so… old. Wait… is this my team’s… old base?

*Indeed, Rebel was back in his old base, which was situated on the island near Megalopolis.*

Rebel: Man, I thought Anti destroyed this place with the rest of his cronies*! What’s it doing back?

*See Series 2, Epilogue #19 “Dark Time”*

???: Rebel…

Rebel: Huh!? Who’s there?

???: Rebel… come here…

*Rebel follows the source of the noise, taking him through the various levels of the base… until he reaches the very top.*

Rebel: *eyes wide* Y-you guys are….

Ghaleon: Hey there, Reb.

PBX: Long time no see!

Deathtuna: *yawn* Hey there and stuffs…

GDT: Hi.

Rebel: Ghaleon, PBX, Deathtuna, and GDT? What are you all doing here!?

Ghaleon: Well, we’re basically here in this dream world to help you cope with the death of Void a bit better.

Deathtuna: So no team break-ups’ll start… Zzzzz…

Rebel: …But that already happened.

Ghaleon: Well, fuck.

GDT: Who the Hell cares, you’re gonna get the talk anyway!

PBX: I like talks! Especially when they’re about talks. Talking about talks always talks a lot of talks out of me. Yay!

Rebel: And now my brain just exploded. Man, did that sheriff guy really say that four drinks made me a lightweight?

Ghaleon: Okay guys, enough of that. Let’s get down to business.

Rebel: Wait, question.

Ghaleon: Yes?

Rebel: Why isn’t Ti-An here?

PBX: This is for the guys who were killed-only!

Rebel: When the Hell was GDT killed?

GDT: You left me at Michael Jackson’s house*! That was far worse than death, asshole!

*See Series 2, Epilogue #13 “Trump’s Purchase”*

Rebel: Whatever. But if this is about dead people, then why isn’t Void here? Y’know, he’s kinda the reason why I’ve been having mental breakdowns.

Ghaleon: Well, you’d probably beat the daylights out of him the moment you saw him.

Rebel: True.

Deathtuna: Zzzz… he also thinks your… super gay…

Rebel: DAMN YOU, VOID!!

GDT: So anyway, we hope this talk is helping you out.

Rebel: How is this helping!? I’m getting insulted in my own dreams, and now instead of missing Void and the rest of you guys, I just want to kill you all! But now I’m incredibly frustrated that I can’t because all of you ARE ALREADY DEAD!! Except for you, GDT. You’re just a prick.

GDT: *grumbles* Iron fist…

Rebel: What was that?

GDT: Yeah, hope the talk is helping.

Ghaleon: Anyway, Rebel, you have to learn to let the past go. It’s what lead the team to break apart.

PBX: Yeah, there’s nothing to say “yay” about that! Just a nay! Nay!

Rebel: So what do you suggest I do?

Ghaleon: Go find a replacement for Void. Just like how you replaced all of us by people who are far better and more memorable.

Deathtuna: I dunno… I always thought *yawn* that I was kinda cool…

PBX: And I’m a loveable huggable crab! Yay for crabs! Nay for the non-crabs!

GDT: My replacement’s nickname is “GDT MKII”.

Ghaleon: Okay, fine. Only my replacement is better and far more interesting than I could ever hope to be. Are you guys happy now?

Rebel, PBX, Deathtuna, GDT: No.

Ghaleon: Well, fuck again. Oh well. Just go find a replacement for Void already!

Rebel: But who the heck would seriously wanna be a moth?

*Elsewhere…*

Avi: *drawing on cop’s face* And now, you shall be known as “Mr. Freckles”! Witness as the diagonal lines creates the illusions of millions of freckles!

Majin: I’m not drunk for once… because I have a feeling that someone stole my originality somewhere in this epilogue.

Avi: *paints on Majin* Oh, be quiet sonny, and go drink your bah-bah while I turn your drab self into the wonderful “Radioactive Mushrooms”! It’ll be my magnum opus!

*Back to the dream…*

Rebel: *shakes head* Whoa… that sudden change in location was really weird. I don’t think I’ll ever drink another Coke again.

GDT: You know that wasn’t Coke, right?

Rebel: In that case I’ll keep drinking Coke ’till the day I die!

GDT: *facepalms* So to not make it feel like this entire sequence was a complete waste of time, can we just go already?

Ghaleon: *nods* Yeah.

Deathtuna: *salivating* It was fun… Reb… Zzz…

PBX: *jumps on Tuna’s back* Yeah, we should do this more often! Cameos for the win!

GDT: I just want to actually be the leader of something for once.

Rebel: You guys… I really don’t know what to say…

Ghaleon: Just say what comes from your heart.

Rebel: My heart? Well, all right… YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF IDIOTS!!

Ghaleon, PBX, Deathtuna, GDT: Huh?

Rebel: Did you guys not even pay attention to the dang prologue!? I didn’t want a new member because he would precisely be a replacement! And now you guys are telling me to go find another!?

Ghaleon: Oooh, yeah. We forgot about that.

Deathtuna: As usual…

GDT: I don’t get why this is suddenly a problem.

PBX: Yeah, me neither!

Rebel: ‘Cause… it feels wrong to just replace people like that. I didn’t have time to think about it much back then, since Ti-An and GDT never did die–

GDT: *dirty glare*

Rebel SHUT YOUR FACE!! Anyway, after that, when all that stuff with Anti took place, so much happened consecutively that it gave me zero time to think. This didn’t happen with Void, though. I’ve been given plenty of time to think about it.

Ghaleon: Well, crap, what can we say to that?

Deathtuna: *rubbing eye* I got one… how about uhhh…

PBX: NOOOOOOOO!!

Deathtuna: Yeah… that’s it… Zzz…

GDT: Look, Rebel, I know I was never your biggest fan, but let me try to give some “advice”. A team is a big responsibility. And it’s with that responsibility that you, as leader, need to always stand strong and do what is best for the team and how it contributes to the goal.

Rebel: …

GDT: You know what you gotta do, so just get out there and do it!

Rebel: …I’ll think about it.

Ghaleon: If that’s the case, then our work here is done. This dream will be ending soon…

Deathtuna: *yawns* The end of a dream always means more sleep for me… Yeah…

Rebel: Thanks for everything guys. I’ll always remember you all!

PBX: Yay for character development!

Rebel: …On second thought, no. I won’t remember any of you. *disappears*

PBX: …Yay!

GDT: Yep, complete waste of time.

Deathtuna: *snoring loudly*

Ghaleon: Sigh… the rest is up to you, Rebel…

*With a jolt, Rebel suddenly wakes up, lifting himself out the bed. Wide-eyed and alert, he quickly gets up and grabs the bars to his jail cell, his face close.*

Rebel: Sheriff? Sheriff! You there!?

Sheriff: *walks in* What’cha wantin’, boy? I’m ’bout ready to round everythin’ up ‘fore catchin’ some Z’s.

Rebel: Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Sheriff: *squints eyes* …’Scuse me?

Rebel: If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

Sheriff: What?

Rebel: To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

Sheriff: What’re you talkin’ ’bout!?

Rebel: Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Sheriff: …

Rebel: Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

Sheriff: Now yer just talkin’ nonsense, son.

Rebel: Sorry. I was trying to sound “deep”.

Sheriff: Riiiiight. Well, I’m headin’ out now. It’s gettin’ pretty late. Have fun. *starts to walk away*

Rebel: Wait! Sheriff! Please let me out! I have to get out!

*Despite his cries, the sheriff still walks out, leaving Rebel all alone once and for all. The night already set, all he finds himself being able to do is just sit and contemplate. The next half hour has him sitting in silence.*

Rebel: …Man, already took a nap, so I’m wide awake… Damn it! Is there nothing I can do? And that dream I had… it’s fuzzy but… I feel like I need to make a decision, and fast…

*At that moment, without warning, the wall next to Rebel’s cell suddenly explodes into a flurry of debris, with a well-sized hole being made into it. Immediately Rebel moves out of the way as a large mace goes flying his way, crashing into the floor behind him.*

Rebel: *slowly getting back up* What… what the Hell!?

*The mace then slowly starts to retract, toward a Reploid donned in red armor.*

Charlemagne: *has shield lifted* Centipede! My name is Charlemagne, and I have come to do battle! Enguarde! *swings mace again*

Rebel: You’ve gotta be kidding me–*gets hit and goes flying through the wall*–Augh!!

Charlemagne: *retracts mace* Die!

Rebel: Don’t think so! *teleports behind a building*

Charlemagne: Hmm… thou thinkest he is clever… But I know where thee is! *swings mace*

Rebel: *mace flies over head, dropping pieces of rubble on him* CRAP!! *runs*

Charlemagne: Only a coward flees from battle! *chases*

*The chase is short-lived. Due to the sudden destruction of the town, the people were to quick to awaken and break into a panic, quickly spotting Rebel.*

Woman: That’s the monster that was thrown in jail!

Rebel: *stops* Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me…

Man: Get ‘im!

Rebel: *trying to pry them off* There’s no time for this! Some psycho is chasing after me and–

Charlemagne: CENTIPEEEEEDE!! *throws mace*

Rebel: –MOVE!! *shoves the people out of the way and gets hit*

People: AAAAHHH!! *flees*

Charlemagne: Protecting the innocent… quite the noble cause, for one such as thyself, Centipede.

Rebel: *on the ground* How… how do you know me?

Charlemagne: Thou dost not remember me?

Rebel: Not really…

Charlemagne: Hmph, ’tis a shame. I will suppose thou diest before realization, then! *swings mace again*

Rebel: …Now! *jumps over the mace and throws a couple Magnet Mines*

Charlemagne: *raises shield but gets hit by one* Urrgh… *flips mace up*

Rebel: *gets hit from behind* Gaah!! *falls down*

Charlemagne: *picks Rebel up by the throat* How long have I awaited this day…? The day to finally exact revenge! Thou dost remember yet, Centipede!?

Rebel: I’m telling you… I don’t… remember…!

Charlemagne: Then let me educate thee! *throws Rebel forward and belts him with mace*

Rebel: AAAGGGHHH!! *crashes into a building*

Charlemagne: Such a pitiful performance… I expected better, Centipede.

*Talking to himself, Charlemagne slowly walks toward the rubble where Rebel laid. Upon reaching his destination, however, he could find no trace of the elusive Reploid.*

Charlemagne: …? Where did he–

Rebel: Lookin’ for something!? *appears behind Charlemagne and stabs him with tail*

Charlemagne: !?

Rebel: I don’t usually use this technique, but I’m going to give you a nice little virus ’cause you’re pissing me off!

Charlemagne: NEVER!! *struggles and grabs Rebel’s tail, yanking it off*

Rebel: What the–

Charlemagne: And with this–*rips the tail off*

Rebel: GAAAHHH!! MY TAIL!!

Charlemagne: *throws it on the ground* What else does thee intend to do?

Rebel: I… plan… to do THIS!!

Charlemagne: To do what–*gets clobbered upside the head*

Rebel: *tail segments reattach* And now for my cunning counter attack! *starts throwing Magnet Mines*

Charlemagne: CURSES!! *gets blown back*

Rebel: Yeah! Take that, Macbeth!

Charlemagne: *rises, covered in scratches* My name is… CHARLEMAGNE!! *swings mace*

Rebel: You’re still fighting!? *dodges behind a building*

Charlemagne: Remember Centipede… nowhere is safe! *attacks the building, bringing it down*

*Despite the destruction, Rebel conveniently managed to disappear again.*

Charlemagne: Drat, to believe he could become so slippery… Centipede! Thou cannot hide forever…

*Elsewhere…*

Rebel: *watching Charlemagne from a distance* Whew… Talk about close. That guy is way too strong. If only I had some help… bah! There’s no time for that kind of thinking. Got to come up with a way… and make it happen…

*Back with Charlemagne…*

Charlemagne: *bringing down another building* Pardon my methods dear citizens, but this is the consequence for the guilty whom runs!

*With another swing of his mace, Charlemagne tears through the next building, turning it into a pile of rubble. Bringing the mace back to his side, he scans the horizon, before eyeing a two-story building located near the edge of town.*

Charlemagne: *starts to slowly swing mace while walking forward* Thou shalt be my next target… *throws mace*

*The mace flies into the second floor, causing it to collapse, with the rest of the structure wobbling slightly.*

Charlemagne: Tch, I could have sworn that thou liest therein… *pulls mace back but fails* Hm? What is this treachery!? *pulls even harder* Is my mace caught!?

???: Now!

*There is a “woosh” sound as the chain finally gives, causing Charlemagne to go flying backward, with only the chain in hand.*

Charlemagne: *covered in dirt* Urgh… who dares defile the weapon of Charlemagne!? *gets slowly back up*

Rebel: *emerges from the building, swinging the mace* That would be me! *throws the mace*

Charlemagne: *catches the mace* Thou usest my weapon against me!? Thou shalt pay!

Rebel: Not this time, buddy!

*Landing on the ground on both feet, Rebel quickly draws his beam saber, charging toward Charlemagne who was still holding the mace ball in both hands. With one swift stroke, he attacked at the knight’s legs, causing circuits and wires to fly from his knees*

Charlemagne: AAGH!! *drops the mace and crashes to the ground*

Rebel: *points saber* Surrender now, or else!

Charlemagne: S-surrender? Thou art a fool… I shan’t ever surrender to thee! Not after what thou hast done!

Rebel: Okay, just shut up about this! Who are you, and what the Hell are you talking about!?

Charlemagne: …Thou dost not remember, truly? Thy terrible sins thou hast committed!? Then I shall make thee remember! Remember the betrayal, the pain, the DEATH!!

*Suddenly, despite his body having been badly wounded, Charlemagne forced himself to stand on his feet, sparks flying everywhere. Pulling out his shield, he drew a beam saber from his hilt, and charged at Rebel!*

Rebel: What the!? *dodges* How can you still move after all that!?

Charlemagne: I live for the battlefield! Thou shalt fall to the wake of my vengeance! Now come! Face me like a true warrior should! *charges once more*

Rebel: If “thou” insist… *gets in position* Then get ready for some of THIS!! *charges*

*The two fighters clash into each other, their beam sabers striking against one another, causing sparks to fly. The two were placed in a momentary stand still!*

Charlemagne: *not relinquishing* Centipede!

Rebel: *struggling to keep ground* What!?

Charlemagne: It was many years ago… Back during the early days of Sigma’s rebellion with the Maverick Hunters, and the people of this world!

Rebel: !?

Charlemagne: We were both soldiers; knights of the Maverick Hunters. Though part of two different units, thou belongest to the Special 0 Unit, and myself in the 8th Armored Division, thy commanders decreed we ally ourselves with one another at one point in time…

Rebel: Say… say what!?

Charlemagne: ‘Tis but the truth, Centipede! We, along with several others from different units, were sent to a small island shortly after Sigma’s first defeat to the noble X. Yet… Thou betrayest us! Thou slaughterest all, bathed in our own blood! Thou hadst gone Maverick, which is why I shan’t ever forgive thee!

Rebel: *starting to get pushed back* Ch-Charlemagne! That was a long time ago!

Charlemagne: *becoming enraged* Obviously, for thou hast forgotten! So tell me, Centipede: Thou dost remember now!?

Rebel: …No.

Charlemagne: What did thou speakest!?

Rebel: I don’t remember, nor do I care to! The past is dead, and there’s no going back to it! So why don’t you just go back to the grave from where you came from!?

Charlemagne: FOOL!!

*With a new explosion of strength, Charlemagne manages to completely overcome Rebel, knocking his beam saber out of his hands and ramming right into him. He then proceeds to grab Rebel and starts plowing him into various rubble, until they burst inside of a large, storage shed, filled with various supplies such as rope, building materials, and oil.*

Charlemagne: *lifting Rebel up by the throat* Thou knowest nothing! But I shall assist thee by more education.

Rebel: *getting shaken horribly* G-gaaah…

Charlemagne: *slams Rebel to the ground*

Rebel: GRAAHH!!

Charlemagne: *points beam saber* Time passes, ever so slowly… While thou hast forgotten thy terrible deeds, I have not. By fate, a new master appearest before me and breathed me new life. From that day, my allegiance is to only Mechalcanos.

Rebel: Wh-who…?

Charlemagne: Ah, yes, I have been reminded… Though it would bring great pleasure thou killest, I must preserve thee for… questions. Therefore, I suggest thou dost not move.

Rebel: You… bastard! *tries to get up*

Charlemagne: *grabs Rebel by the arm* Allow me to assist thee. *rips Rebel’s arm off*

Rebel: AAAAAAGGGHHH!! *falls back down, screaming*

Charlemagne: *clenching the arm in his hand* Now, mayhaps will thou learnest his place, finally…?

Rebel: *holding his wound* How about… you go back to Hell!?

Charlemagne: I beg thee pardon? *suddenly gets hit by a blast to the side* OUGH!!

Rebel: *rises back to his feet* Yeah… fell for that hook, line, and sinker!

Charlemagne: *also getting up* What… what has thou donest…?

Rebel: While you were busy ripping my arm off, you failed to notice the little surprise that was in its hand!

Charlemagne: A mine…? *looks down at his own arm, which is in shambles* Allowing one’s own limb as a sacrifice to defeat thy opponent… thou art truly something else, Centipede!

Rebel: Better be careful, it sounds like you are starting to like me.

Charlemagne: Hmph… this is far from over! Thou hast become fatigued, while I continue to thirst for battle! Enguarde!

*Beam saber in hand, Charlemagne begins his assault once more, striking at Rebel at every chance, now with the absolute intent to kill. Rebel on the other, plays defensively by dodging, but he still ends up taking small nicks as his energy is slowly wasted.*

Rebel: *feels the saber brush against him* (Grah, this isn’t good! He doesn’t seem to be slowing down… how can this be!?)

Charlemagne: *not letting up* What is wrong, Centipede!? Has thou comest to finally realize that this is a losing battle for thee!?

Rebel: (Gotta make a new move…!) *throws a couple of mines* Take that!

Charlemagne: *knocks the mines out of the way* Is that all!? *swings beam saber fiercely*

Rebel: *gets hit in the side* DAMN IT!! *hits the ground but manages to bounce back up*

Charlemagne: Resilient, aren’t thee!? Just like the insect thou art designed!

Rebel: *holding side* A-actually, to clear up this misonception, centipedes aren’t actual insects, although we are both a part of the arthro–*dodges another blow*–POOOODS!! *throws more mines*

Charlemagne: *deflects them as well* Enough of thy pitiful games! It is time to end this!

Rebel: N-no way, man! You’re crazy! *throws more mines*

Charlemagne: *watches as they fly by him* …

Rebel: Um, uhh…

Charlemagne: THOU AIMEST POORLY!! *raises boot and hits Rebel with it*

Rebel: UGH!! *flies through the wall, landing outside*

Charlemagne: *looking through the hole that was made* Thy time is up, Centipede. Not even God can save thee in thy time of need!

Rebel: Gah…

Charlemagne: My duty was to save thee for questioning… but given what happened, I suppose I can brush this off as a trifling “accident”. But I am an honorable sort, Centipede, so I will give thee a last word before thy demise. Well?

Rebel: Y-yeah… I… got one…

Charlemagne: Oh? Let me here it, then.

Rebel: I just wanted to say… that… your accent really sucks…

Charlemagne: …Yes, I do believe it is time to die. *draws saber*

Rebel: Also… *lifts self up to look at Charlemagne*

Charlemagne: …?

Rebel: *reveals a switch in hand* …Did you think I was aiming for you!?

Charlemagne: …Thou speakest what!?

*Rebel suddenly pushes the switch, causing all of the mines that had been scattered throughout the building to go off, causing the entire building to explode!*

Charlemagne: *consumed by the blast* CENTIPEEEEEeede…

Rebel: *gets blown back from the explosion* AAAHHHHHH!!

*The explosion in turn, caused the oil located within to go off, creating a chain reaction, as a good portion of the town suddenly went up in smoke. Thankfully, due to the battle that was just taking place, the residents had all fled the town. During this chaotic moment, multiple sirens could be heard, as none other than the Maverick Hunters make an appearance, there to handle the sudden “Maverick outbreak”… It was during this time that the sun had finally arose…*

Sheriff: *watching the Hunters go by, ignoring him* No good Reploids… always bringin’ trouble to our town…

Rebel: *in the shadows* …

Sheriff: …I know yer there, ya know.

Rebel: …

Sheriff: I don’t know who ya are or why ya came to this ol’ dusty town in the first place… n’ I don’t really care. But if yer spotted by them Hunters, they’ll lock ya away fer a longer time than I was plannin’ on doin’.

Rebel: …

Sheriff: So git. I won’t say nuthin’.

Rebel: …Thanks.

Sheriff: Don’t be thankin’ me, son. *pulls hat down* I ain’t doin’ this outta no respect, I just don’t like those Hunters.

Rebel: Well… thanks regardless. *disappears*

Sheriff: Tch… I get the feelin’ that sumthin’ went down last night, sumthin’ that I ain’t ever gonna comprehend. So I won’t bother. I just hope the poor boy will stop talkin’ in them confounded riddles. “Push the elevator button”… pah! I dunno what an elevator even is.

*As the Sheriff continues to mull over these strange questions and Rebel leaves the town, still suffering from the wounds that were inflicted upon him, the Maverick Hunters still continued their investigation, finding leads and clues, as the townspeople began to devise strategies to rebuild Sangria. It was during this time…*

Charlemagne: *explodes from the rubble, severely wounded* Cent… ipede… Thou hast done well… Do not think… however… that just because thee… emerged victorious… from this batle… that the war… is now over… My revenge… shalt come…! *slowly rises*

???: *appluading from behind* Very well said, Mr. Charlemagne! Spoken like a true connoisseur!

Charlemagne: Th-that voice… Cyphos…?

Cyphos: *walks around to face him* The-one-and-only! So tell me, how did your battle go with Mr. 40000? Well, I take it?

Charlemagne: I… have no time for thy games, Cyphos…

Cyphos: Ahhh, I see, I see. *serious* Well, perhaps this wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t so rough, now would it? *laughing* All I wanted to do was ask Mr. 40000 some simple questions! I even specifically stated, “no killing”! Or don’t you remember?

Charlemagne: I remember… The obnoxious insect–pardon, centipede… was far stronger than anticipated… But it matters not… for next time, I will… emerge victorious…!

Cyphos: *dropping his smile* Yeah, about that… There’s one teensy-weensy problem…

Charlemagne: *annoyed* And that being…?

Cyphos: *places a hand on Charlemagne’s shoulder* You’re tired, aren’t you? Why don’t you rest, Charlemagne?

Charlemagne: What are you talking about–GAAAAAH!!

*Without any sign, Cyphos had suddenly plunged a beam saber into Charlemagne’s midsection, causing the large Reploid to keel over, with only Cyphos helping him to support his weight.*

Charlemagne: *wide-eyed* C-Cyphos… but… why…?

Cyphos: *grinning evilly* I’ll be frank. I’ve never liked you, Charlemagne. Always acting like you were so damn superior! So, I decided to play a little game with you.

Charlemagne: A… a game…?!

Cyphos: Didn’t you think this whole thing was just a little too suspicious? I already said from before that I knew Rebel wasn’t the one we wanted; I just wanted to ask some “questions”. But poor you, you never bothered to even figure out what those questions were!

Charlemagne: There… there were no questions… were there…?

Cyphos: *venomously* That’s right, “old friend”. I decided to see how things would go by pitting you and Rebel against one another–I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist trying to beat him to a pulp! And I’ve been keeping tabs on Rebel, see, so I knew he wouldn’t be able to stay down, either!

Charlemagne: Then… thou schemest to eliminate us both…

Cyphos: Heh… hahahahah! Yeah, but it seems you two both survived… well, at least, both of you did survive!

Charlemagne: Cy… phos… I shan’t… forget this… deed… for the sake of Mechalcanos–

Cyphos: Yeah, yeah, “all for Mechalcanos”. Whatever. Just die already!

*Cyphos then proceeds to yank the saber out of Charlemagne, causing the Reploid knight to stumble backward. Cyphos then decides to take the opportunity to deliver several blows to him, causing him to fall into a heap of pieces. Afterward, Cyphos proceeds to drop a small device next to Charlemagne’s remains, before walking away, smiling wickedly.*

Novice Hunter: *walking onto the scene* Man, this is such a boring job, and this town is a mess! I just wanna go home already. Never should’ve become a Hunter… Wait, what’s that? *sees the slaughter before him* My God, this is horrible… I need to call someone over here, stat!

*As the Hunter turns to leave, the small device Cyphos left catches his eye.*

Novice Hunter: What the heck is this? *picks it up and eyes widen* Oh my God, IT’S A–

*A massive explosion suddenly engulfs the entire town, wiping out all of it’s inhabitants and effectively removing any trace of existance from Sangria. In the distance, we see Cyphos standing, watching the event bouncing off of his shades.*

Cyphos: Knew those things in the store would always come in handy! Have fun rotting with the rest of those poor souls, Charlemagne! I know it’s just what you’ve always wanted! Hehahahah… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!

The End

Bermuda Shorts # 5

February 21, 2015

Before we get to the last bit of short stories I need to let you in on a little secret. I actually thought the last post was all that was left of the Code: Island Attacker archive. But with a bit of digging I was able to find two things that have never been shared with the public.

The way we wrote the Bermuda Shorts was usually done just on the forum. When we reached a certain number of entry’s they were then posted on the main site. These shorts that you are about to read were all written by myself.

The next post will feature the last epilogue that was written which was done by Rebel4000. The site closed down before he was able to post it.

*All written by Outlaw88*

Insightful Thought # 5

Narrator: And now, an Insightful Thought.

Dramatic music

Narrator: This week’s guest: R.O.B.

R.O.B.: Beep.

Narrator: And to help us out, please welcome special guest C-3PO. Are you sure you can understand him?

C-3PO: Sir, I am fluent in over 6 million forms of communication. I can understand and translate just fine.

Narrator: Ok then.

R.O.B.: Beep.

C-3PO: He says “Hello. I’m R.O.B. and I work with The Rat by being his assistant.”

R.O.B.: Beep.

C-3PO: “It’s not as bad as you might think. It’s really mutually benificial. I fix him if he gets hurt and I get information for him, and in return he protects me.”

R.O.B.: Beep.

C-3PO: “Dragging Dead Man along can be a chore but overall I can’t complain.”

R.O.B.: Beep.

Narrator: Interesting. So what did he say that time?

C-3PO: That one was just a beep.

Narrator: Anything else?

R.O.B.: Beep.

C-3PO: He says “For fun I like to access the internet and look at funny cat pictures. Sometimes I like to go on forums and make others look like complete idiots. But my favorite thing is to watch videos of people getting hurt.”

Narrator: So you’re an internet troll.

*Before R.O.B. can answer an angry mob shows up. They chase R.O.B.*

C-3PO: Oh my.

Narrator: This has been an Insightful Thought.
The Eating Contest

It’s the Megalopolis annual “Eat till you’re sick!” contest. Rebel and Outlaw are backstage.

Rebel: What are you worried about man? You’ve got this!

Outlaw: I don’t know… The competition looks intense.

Rebel: Just go out there and do what you do best, other than stink, and we can snag the grand prize.

Announcer: Let’s get the show going! Here are the contestants: The four eyed freak Belome!

Belome: Oh the hunger…

Announcer: That little pink guy Kirby!

Kirby: HIIIIII!

Announcer: And Mr. Sewer Breath, Outlaw!

Outlaw: “Mr. Sewer Breath?”

Rebel: Well you are.

The three take the stage. Before anything can happen though…”

???: Wait!

*Takeru Kobayashi rushes the stage*

Takeru: I should be part of this! I’m a world record holder!

Announcer: We’ve been over this already. They wanted new people.

Takeru: I can out eat anyone! Just watch!

Announcer: Can someone get rid of this guy or something?

Belome: Stick for a body, head full of straw, give me a Scarecrow,
Rah, Rah RAH!

*Takeru Kobayashi is now a scarecrow*

Takeru: …

Announcer: That’s better. Now onto the event!

Kirby: Hi!

Outlaw: Hi to you too.

Kirby: HiIIIII!

Outlaw: Um… Hi.

Kirby: HIIIIII!

Belome: Oh the Hunger.

Outlaw: Suddenly I miss Takeru.

The massive piles of food are brought out. They place giant amonts in front of each of them. A bell sounds and they go at it.

Outlaw: *Nom nom nom!*

Belome: *Lick*

Kirby: HIIIII!!!

*Kirby inhales. His plate of food, Outlaw’s plate of food and Belome’s plate of food alll get eaten in one big gulp.*

Outlaw: Holy crap!

Belome: My food! You took my food! Gimme it back!

Kirby: Hi!

Belome: HUNGER!

*Belome rushes Kirby*

Outlaw: This can’t end well.

Kirby inhales Belome. A monsterous six eyed, pink beast with a huge mouth and extra long tongue is formed. It rushes the backstage area and escapes the building, eating anything in it’s path.

Outlaw: What has been seen cannot be unseen.

The End
Bakery of Doom

Rebel: It’s just around this corner.

Shadow: Where are we going again?

Rebel: I’ve heard that this is the best bakery ever and I’m in the mood for some comfort food.

Shadow: Considering Avi decided to paint the Whale King today I can see why you’d need comforting.

Rebel: Here it is! Aperture Science Bakery!

Shadow: Odd name for a bakery.

*When they go inside they notice that there isn’t anyone there.*

Shadow: Hello?

*A computerized voice responds*

GLaDOS: Welcome to the Aperture Science Bakery. I am called GLaDOS. How may I help you?

Rebel: Awesome.

Shadow: Where is everybody?

GLaDOS: This bakery is fully automated. The staff has been eliminated.

Shadow: What?!

GLaDOS: I apologize. What I meant to say was the need for staff has been eliminated.

Rebel: Good. I hate dealing with idiots.

Shadow: Rebel, something’s wrong here.

Rebel: Yeah. Too much talk, not enough buying me a cookie.

GLaDOS: Here is the menu. Please make your selection. May I recommend the Mrs. Lovett brand meat pie?

Rebel: Well with a name like Lovett it has to be good! I’ll take…

Shadow: NONE!

GLaDOS: Pity.

Rebel: What the hell man? You complain to me that we don’t hang out like we used to so I take you with me to get some eats. The moment I try to get said eats you prevent me from doing so?

Shadow: Trust me on this one. You wouldn’t like those pies.

Rebel: Whatever. *Looks at menu* How good are the sprinkle cookies?

GLaDOS: They are one of our killer sale items. Please note that the green particles are sprinkles. Clearly not rat poison.

Shadow: I don’t like this.

Rabel: Yeah, I’m not feeling sprinkles. Maybe they have some cake.

GLaDOS: We stay open until we run out of cake.

*There is a faint scream from deep within the building.*

Shadow: What was that?

GLaDOS: That was one of our test subjects. I mean Taste Testers. Those are screams of delight. Everything is normal.

Shadow: Rebel, we should get out of here. I think GLaDOS is up to something.

Rebel: Don’t be stupid. She’s being so nice and helpful. The word “Glad” is in her name so there’s no way she can be bad.

Shadow: Hurry up and pick something then.

Rebel: I’m still looking. Everything sounds so good.

*While Rebel looks at the menus, Shadow notices a strange blue glowing doorway. He walks over to it.*

Shadow: It’s like a swirly round thing.

Rebel: Round thing.

Shadow: I can see the top of my head.

*Glances up and see’s a similar doorway glowing orange.*

GLaDOS: The Aperture Science Bakery is not responsible for any harm done to and by stupid people.

Shadow: Huh?

*Shadow slips and tumbles into the Portal. He slams into the ground.*

Shadow: D’oh!

Rebel: I got it! Three donuts please.

GLaDOS: Excellent. Whice types would you like?

Shadow: I’m going to go wait outside.

Rebel: Fine. Be that way.

*Shadow exits the building. A few moments later Rebel joins him. They start walking for home.*

Shadow: Well?

Rebel: I got a soylent glazed one and a one that has creme filling. She said it was so good that my guts don’t know what’s coming.

Shadow: Sounds… Great….

Rebel: Yeah. I can’t wait. Oh and I got you a bear claw.

Shadow *Gulp*

THE END

Beyond Classification

*In the Whale King*

Rebel: Meeting Time!

Metabad: Meeting Time?!

Dark Knight: Meeting Time!

*DK and Metabad do a little jig*

Rebel: Sit down and shut up!

Shadow: So what’s up Rebel?

Avi: This isn’t about the rug is it? It looks so much better now.

Sean: What happened to the rug?

Avi: I don’t know Sean, what?

Rebel: Today we’re going to talk about Majin.

Majin: I like ponies.

Outlaw: Me too. They taste good with a little soy sause and steamed rice.

Sean: You didn’t…..

Outlaw: Isn’t that what was in food we ordered last night?

Sean: Let’s never go there again.

Rebel: AHEM! Back to the subject at hand.

Shadow: Are we going to finally talk about his out of control drinking problem?

DK: Or the fact that he keeps throwing up on everything electronic?

Majin: Or if lice really do see the rainbow of my tuna salad pants?

Rebel: No.

Avi: Then what?

Rebel: That’s the real question. What. As in what the hell is he anyway?

Outlaw: You mean the fact that he’s from Majin World?

Rebel: No, no I get that. I’m talking about what he looks like right now. What the hell is he? He’s also called Wire Sponge but…

Shadow: Now that you mention it.. Yeah he doesn’t really look like a sponge to me.

Avi: I thought he was a plant.

Metabad: Are sponges plants?

Outlaw: I thought they were some kind of sea life.

DK: Majin kinda looks like a really messed up cucumber to me.

Majin: How many licks does it take to get to the moon?

Sean: The leaves on his head, the green color, and vines make me think he is a plant too. But he does seem to be able to absorb liquids like a sponge.

Shadow: I’m confused.

Outlaw: Maybe he’s some kind of hybrid?

Avi: Those get good gas mileage.

Rebel: Forget it. This is getting us nowhere fast. I guess we’ll never know what he is.

Majin: Luffa.
*Based on real life confusion and….discovery!* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luffa

Bermuda Shorts # 4

February 17, 2015

Insightful Thought #4
By Outlaw88

Narrator: And now, an Insightful Thought.

*Dramatic music*

Narrator: This week’s guest: Oreo Oreo.

Oreo: Life is a funny thing ya know? I mean why did Trump pick Oreo’s to make us out of? Sure we can easily be remade after we get beat up or something but still. Why not rock? Or steel? I like being alive, don’t get me wrong but… My boss is weird.

Narrator: This has been an…

Oreo: I’M NOT DONE!

Narrator: Oh… Continue then.

Oreo: Being made of cookies is tough. I could go stale or parts of me could fall off or melt. But the worst thing is the ants. THE ANTS! They never leave us alone! Always trying to eat us or drag us to their mound. I HATE ANTS! I hate that I’m edible! I hate the C:IA for always beating us! WHY IS MY LIFE SO BAD?! AHHHHHH!!!

*Oreo starts crying, causing some of his face to melt.*

Narrator: This has been an Insightful Thought.

The End

* * *

Book Report
By Outlaw88

*Shadow is in the living room area, quietly reading a book.*

Shadowstrike: Very interesting.

*Majin staggers in*

Majin: What yoooou do?

Shadowstrike: I’m reading. Go away.

Majin: Reading what?

Shadowstrike: A book.

Majin: Book?

Shadowstrike: Yes, Majin. Book. Thing with words.

Majin: Reading… Rainbow.

Shadowstrike: Sure. Whatever. Just leave me alone ok?

Majin: Ya.

*There is a brief moment of silence.*

Majin: *in Shadow’s ear* I CAN DO ANYTHING! TAKE A LOOK! IT’S IN A BOOK!!!!!!!

*This sudden outburst made Shadow jump.*

Shadowstrike: Forget this.

*He goes to a different part of the ship. He looks around and all is quiet. He is in a hallway where a few of the rooms are located.*

Shadowstrike: Ahhhh…

*Suddenly the whole hall shakes as insanely loud music is being played. He goes to Outlaw’s room and as soon as he opens the door the music gets even louder! Outlaw and Metabad are moshing to the music.*

Shadowstrike: TURN IT OFF!

*They don’t notice him. Shadow goes over to the stereo and turns it off.*

Metabad: Hey!

Shadowstrike: You guys are going to go deaf if you keep playing it that loud! Don’t you have any consideration for people who want quiet?!

Outlaw: What?

Metabad: Huh?

Shadowstrike: Nevermind.

*He storms out.*

Metabad: What did he say?

Outlaw: I dunno. Something about hamsters, hoola hoops and precipitation.

*Back in the hall, Shadow tries to find his place in the book, but the music gets turned back on. He lets out a frustrated groan and moves on.*

Shadowstrike: I’ll try the next hall over.

*He enters the next section of the ship. There is a lot of smoke in the air. Sean is sitting by the door.*

Shadowstrike: Sean?

Sean: Yeah?

Shadowstrike: What did you do?

Sean: You don’t want to know. I’d try not to breath too much if I were you.

Shadowstrike: Moving on.

*He goes to yet another section of the ship. He doesn’t see anyone around. He breathes a sign of relief and sits down on the couch. Avi rushes into the room.*

Avi: Noooo!

Shadowstrike: What?!

Avi: Can’t you read the sign?

Shadowstrike: Sign? What sign?

*Avi takes out a sheet of poster paper and writes on it.*

Avi: This one of course!

*The sign says “Wet Paint”*

Shadowstrike: What the hell?

*Shadow gets up. The couch is covered in paint, and now so is Shadow.*

Shadowstrike: Why did you dump paint on the couch?

Avi: It’s not a couch anymore! The world is my canvas and I felt my creative self call out and desire this masterpiece. I call it “Drippy Comfort.”

Shadowstrike: I call it “Ruined Furniture.”

*Shadow leaves. He passes DK.*

Dark Knight: Hey Shadow!

Shadowstrike: What…

Dark Knight: Why is your ass blue?

Shadowstrike: Why are you staring at my ass?

Dark Knight: …

Shadowstrike: …

Dark Knight: This conversation didn’t happen.

*Shadow goes into the kitchen. He has a brief moment alone but then Rebel comes in and heads for the fridge.*

Shadowstrike: Hey Reb.

Rebel: Why aren’t you piloting?! Are we going to crash again? I DON’T WANT TO DIE! THERE IS STILL SO MUCH SODA LEFT FOR ME TO DRINK!

Shadowstrike: We’re on the ground.

Rebel: Oh. So what are you doing then?

Shadowstrike: I’ve been trying to read.

Rebel: Oh yeah? What is it?

Shadowstrike: It’s a self-help book. “The joy of a normal life and how to get it.”

*Rebel laughs uncontrolably for a good ten minutes.*

Rebel: With this crew? Good luck.

*Rebel leaves. It is now quiet. He glances at the book.*

Shadowstrike: Hmmm…

*Total silence*

Shadowstrike: Screw this. I’m gonna go mosh with Outlaw and Metabad.

The End

* * *

Infomercial
by Avi

Voice: ARTISTS! Tired of your eraser making a mess all over your masterpieces?! Sick of trying to erase in those hard to reach places?!

Avi: Hi, Morph Moth here with the AVI-RASER!

Avi: It’s a COMPLETELY and TOTALLY original project manufactured only in Germany, and is COMPLETELY and TOTALLY not some ordinary kneaded eraser I picked up from the local Walmart to sell at jacked-up prices! Oh, no. My product was manufactured EXCLUSIVELY in Ireland!

Outlaw: Wow, so how does it work?

Avi: Just squish it into the shape you want, then rub away! The putty-like compound allows you to mold it, tear it, and smush it back together! It’s so easy, even I can do it! Watch as I erase this raw sewage from this alligator’s back side!

*Avi begins using the eraser to do so–one change of camera angle later…*

Outlaw: *sparkly clean* Um… did I really have to take that shower just for this?

Avi: Yes–I-I mean, there was no shower, child, it was just… THE PATENTED AVI TECHNOLOGY, found exclusively in Norway, cleans your canvas so thoroughly, you’d swear you’d have taken it through the shower! See what MILLIONS of customers are saying about the Avi-raser!

Metabad: It… rawks, I guess.

Shadowstrike: Meh.

Majin: dis bbl gum taests funy

Dark Knight: Well, I suppose it could be wor–

Sean: *begins rubbing DK with the eraser*

*One change of camera angle later, and DK is nowhere to be found*

Sean: The Avi-raser… CHANGED. MY. LIFE.

Avi: That’s right! The Avi-raser can rub out people as well! Thus making it PERFECT for the Mafia, and for surgeons conducting amputations as well! With ordinary erasers, it would take HOURS to separate a pair of Siamese twins at the joint, and with a nasty mess to boot! But with the Avi-raser, it’s done in mere minutes, and without any of the mess!

Rebel, Outlaw, Majin, Shadowstrike, Metabad, Sean: …

Avi: I know what you’re thinking. Products like this would normally sell for over 300 zenny! But through this exclusive epilogue offer, you can get the Avi-raser for a measly 19.95!! But wait, there’s more!! Call within the next 15 minutes, and you’ll also receive… um…

Rebel: Receive what?

Avi: Um… I… hold on one second… *picks up the eraser, and takes a small piece off of it* …um… YEAH! Call within the next 15 minutes, and you’ll also receive the Avi-raser Jr.! It allows you to erase those tight spaces, and it’s great for the kids too! And that’s not all! You can combine it with the full-sized Avi-raser *molds the pieces back together* to form the GIANT Avi-raser! And all of this can be yours if you CALL NOW!

Rebel, Outlaw, Majin, Shadowstrike, Metabad, Sean: *collective groan*

Voice: To order, call 555-SCAM. The Avi-raser is manufactured EXCLUSIVELY in Portugal and is not available in stores. CALL NOW!

The End

(This short is dedicated to an artist’s most valuable tool–the kneaded eraser. Seriously, they’re awesome. -The Real Avi)

* * *

Unwilling Art
By Outlaw88

Rebel: I’ve told you twenty times already, I don’t want you drawing on me.

Avi: But why? I could do so much! The extra arms could symbolize how art can be an extra extension of the mind and body. The spikey tail is how art can be painful but rewarding!

Rebel: I think we need to get you some medication or something.

Avi: Come on, just a little doodle. How ’bout a happy face? It’ll be the the best happy face ever!

Rebel: Does it look like I need a happy face?

Avi: Yes, Mr. Grouchy, I think you do!

Rebel: Forget it.

Avi: It could be like a tatoo! I could make it a tough happy face! Tough guys get tattoos!

Rebel: What part of “No” didn’t you get?

Avi: He could have some barbed wire on him, and be wearing a side-ways hat. Ohhh it would be so tough and cute on you! Hold still.

Rebel: AHHHH!!!

*Rebel runs down the hall. Avi gives chase, still talking about the happy face.*

Rebel: I swear I’m going to throw away all her art supplies.

*Rebel can see that Outlaw is up ahead*

Rebel: Dude, you have to hide me. Avi has flipped out and is crazy intent on drawing on me and… What the hell happened to you?

*Outlaw is covered from head to toe in random drawings.*

Outlaw: What do you mean?

Rebel: She got to you already, I see.

Outlaw: Oh these. Neat huh?

Rebel: You’ve got to be kidding me. How could you just let her do that to you?

Outlaw: It’s not bad really. I like it.

Rebel: Just when I think I have you figured out, you go and do something weird.

Outlaw: Weird would be how that color is going to look when it dries. I have to say, neon orange is an interesting choice for your tail.

Rebel: What?!

*Avi is busy painting Rebel.*

Rebel: NOOOOOO!!!

*Rebel takes off. Avi once again follows*

Avi: Don’t go too fast or you’ll smear!

*Rebel hides behind a corner. He inspects his tail.*

Rebel: Ugh. This is going to take forever to come off.

Dark Knight: You got off light. At least she went with paint for you.

Rebel: Huh?

*DK is covered in plaster and is unable to move*

Dark Knight: She thought I’d look better as a statue. So instead of sculpting it from scratch she dumped me in this stuff.

Avi: And what a lovely piece of modern art you are! By the way, polka dots look good on you Rebel.

*Rebel looks down. He’s covered in spots.*

Rebel: Polka dots are not manly or tough.

Avi: Who said anything about that?

Rebel: You did.

Avi: I think I’d remember saying something about that.

Rebel: What about the happy face then?

Avi: What a great idea! That would go great as a face painting!

Rebel: Me and my big mouth.

The End

* * *

“Well, That’s Confusing”
By Sean

*Shadowstrike, Sean, and Outlaw are sitting at a table. Shadowstrike starts shuffling a deck of cards.*

Shadowstrike: So, everyone set on the rules now?

Sean: Are you sure those are correct? I really though that–

Outlaw: Look, I checked. No one has followed those rulings in twenty years.

Sean: Oh, that makes sense then. I don’t think I’ve played once in the past thirty.

*Suddenly Rebel rushes into the room*

Rebel: Is this room safe?

Shadowstrike: What are you talking about?

Rebel: I saw Avi carrying a few gallons of paint.

Shadowstrike: LOCK THE DOOR!

Sean: I really hope I don’t get like that when I’m old. *Everyone looks at him* What?

Outlaw: Actually, how old are you?

Shadowstrike: Yeah, you claim to be both from the era of Robot Masters and looked pretty human when we met you.

Sean: Let me think….

Rebel: You don’t know?

Sean: Well, I have not been conscious this whole time. I think I spent at least a decade frozen solid.

Outlaw: Okay that explains it.

Sean: And I don’t know how long in suspended animation. Then there was the three weeks I spent dead, four weeks of which I was a ghost.

Rebel: Four of three weeks?

Sean: Time travel. By the way, how do you count time travel? If you return to the same point you left does the time spent still count toward your age? Also do you count time spent in timelines that don’t exist or when time has been frozen?

Shadowstrike: What?

Sean: Then there were all the clone bodies and the robotic duplicates. The time my brain was scanned into a computer and copied. Or just times when my mind was uploaded to various computer networks. All the curses and blessings that I’ve gotten over the years as well keep changing my mortal state…

Rebel: Curses and blessings? I thought you had only one curse!

Sean: At the moment I’m pretty sure that was true… Actually what body am I in and am I currently the original ‘Sean’ now that you mention it? You said I seemed human, right?

Outlaw: Yeah…

Sean: Okay, good. That helps narrows things down… If I went back to my human form this might help, but then I’m not sure what phobias and psychological issues I’m currently suffering from. I think I got most cured.

Rebel: Most cured? Shouldn’t you know?

Sean: Therapy is too expensive to keep up with. Also traumatic events have caused me to to develop new ones or suffer from an old one again. Then I think I have also had some instilled by viruses as well and there was at least one time when that was something I created myself.

Shadowstrike: Don’t you have any ID? Or remember your birth date?

Sean: I’ve lost and gained so many licenses over the years. Also there were a few of the previously mentioned viruses, mind affecting enchantments, and just pain head trauma that has made it hard to remember. I have two forms of my latest ID, one for age says ‘enough’ and the other has a number that was randomly generated at the time.

Rebel: Remind me to not ask about your past again. It seems too confusing.

Sean: I really hope I am the only ‘Sean’ at this point in time.

Outlaw: Wouldn’t there be a chance the other one might be capable of giving us a straight answer.

Sean: Over sixty percent of the time when two of us have met, only one survives.

*Suddenly Avi bursts in the room*

Avi: I finally found you all! I think I found the perfect the perfect color and design for all of you! Just think of how the message we send to the populace as they see us victorious can be changed!

Shadowstrike: I thought I said to lock the door.

Rebel: I am the leader, I don’t have to follow orders. Besides Sean distracted us. *flees*

Outlaw: It can’t be too bad. Besides it makes her happy.

Shadowstrike: You and Sean can go first, then. *flees*

Sean: *Hides under his shell*

Avi: You know I heard everything you just said… *Starts staring at Sean’s shell* It’s so bright and shiny, just like life! The duality of the spiral can represent both the upward climb and the downward fall of society! And I know just how to make it more understandable! *Grabs a brush*

The End

Bermuda Shorts # 3

February 16, 2015

Insightful Thought #3
By Outlaw88

Narrator: And now, an insightful thought.

*Dramatic music*

Narrator: This week’s guest: Majin

Majin: ZZZZZZZZ… *gets poked with a stick* To dream is to follow your heart. To follow your heart is to go on with pride. To play with the world allows us to sleep with dignity. To be able to love is the highest gift of all.

To remember where you came from will help you not to lose where you are going.

Narrator: *Jawdrop*

Majin: I only had me a keg today. Not as buzzzzzzzzed yet.

Narrator: This has been an Insightful Thought.

The End

* * *

A Lifetime in Two Days
By Rebel40000

Dark Knight: *watching TV* Bleh, there’s nothing on. *changes the channel*

Salesman: *on TV* Heeey, there! Are you bored with your life?

Dark Knight: No, not really–

Salesman: Do you wish you could add some “fun” in your day?

Dark Knight: Well, maybe–

Salesman: Or at least find something good to watch on TV!?

Dark Knight: Um–

Salesman: Then try the “Super Turbo Remote Controller”! With this, you can flip through channels at light speed, until you find perfect channel meant for you!

Dark Knight: But I–

Salesman: How does it work? Simple! Just push the big red button on the remote and you will enter light speed, causing your TV to scroll through all of your channels faster than the blink of an eye! On top of that, utilizing the sensor on the remote’s button causes it to determine exactly what you want to watch!

Dark Knight: Sounds interesting, but–

Salesman: And we have a limited time offer! If you dial this number now *a number appears at the bottom of the screen* then you will receive the “Super Turbo Remote Controller” for absolutely free! That’s right, absolutely free for your entire lifetime!

Dark Knight: My entire lifetime!? I’m in! *grabs phone and starts dialing* Yeah, hello? I want that “Super Turbo Remote Controller” that is being sold for a whole free lifetime. Yeah, that one. All right, here is my mailing address and credit card number…

*Two weeks later…*

Dark Knight: *receives a package* All right! Light speed channel surfing, here I come! *opens box and finds a letter* Huh? A letter? *reads*

“Dear Dark Knight,

Thank you for purchasing the “Super Turbo Remote Controller”! We hope you enjoy the two free trial days that come with this fabulous gift! After the two free day trial, you will be automatically charge $35.98 every month. Enjoy!”

Dark Knight: WHAAAAAAAT!? I’ve been had!

*Doorbell rings*

Dark Knight: Now what? *opens door and finds two more packages addressed to him* What the Hell!? *opens them and finds similar letters charging him* I didn’t order these! Why those lousy… *sees the remote* Well, at least I’ve got the remote. Might as well check it out…

*Thus Dark Knight walks over to the living room and sits down in front of the TV.*

Dark Knight: All right, lightspeed surfing here I come! *presses the button and nothing happens* …What? *presses the button more* What is wrong with this thing!? Does it need batteries!?

*Panicking, Dark Knight grabs the remote to try and find the battery casing, only to find that there is none.*

Dark Knight: No… no… *gets on knees and clutches his head* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

The End

* * *

Bedtime Story
By Outlaw88

*One night in the living room, Rebel, Outlaw, and Shadow were watching a movie.*

Shadowstrike: That car got crushed like it was tin foil!

Rebel: Hell yeah!

Outlaw: Did that guy’s head just explode?!

Rebel: Super Action Movie 5 is kick-ass awesome.

Shadowstrike: You said it!

*Avi enters*

Avi: What are you younguns doing up so late?

Rebel: What do you mean late?

Outlaw: Yeah, it’s only, like 11:30. This is early for us.

Avi: Yes I think you should get early starts in the morning, too.

Shadowstrike: I think her hearing went out. Go away Avi, we’re watching a movie here.

Avi: My hearing is just fine and I’ll hear no more arguing from the three of you. Time for bed. If you do it now I’ll read you a story.

Rebel: Go away, you crazy old coot.

Outlaw: Yeah this is the best part.

Avi: You asked for it.

*After several bashes to the head the three of them are tucked into bed.*

Rebel: Can either of you guys move?

Outlaw: Nope.

Shadowstrike: Nope.

Rebel: Damn… Why did she put Outlaw in the middle? You smell like a foot covered in cheese that was left out in the sun.

Shadowstrike: And since when did we own a bed this big?

Avi: Hush now, children. It’s story time!

Outlaw: Well, at least we’ll get some entertainment out of this.

*Avi sits down in a rocking chair. She pulls out and book and opens it.*

Shadowstrike: Uh, Avi, thats upside…

Avi: Hush now!

Rebel: Just shut up and let her read. The faster she gets done the faster she’ll leave.

Outlaw: So we hope.

Avi: *Ahem* Once upon a rock there was a time that rolled down a hill.

Rebel: What the hell? *gets bopped*

Avi: No swearing!

Shadowstrike: Ha ha, you got hit.

Avi: Quiet you.

Outlaw: Resume.

Avi: At the bottom of the hill was a giant ant named Biff. He has nothing to do with the hero of the pack of gum that was in peril of being hit by a golf club.

Shadowstrike: This is making my head hurt.

Avi: I told you to be quiet.

*Avi shoves a pacifier in Shadow’s mouth.*

Shadowstrike: MMMMMMMM!!!

Outlaw: This is so weird but strangly captivating.

Avi: On the far shore near the fire hydrant there was a magic pair of pants that went on a journy to find his lost pudding cup. He talked to the three knee’ed sloth about the times and the sea shell that once ate a monster truck.

Rebel: I am checking you in to a mental hospital you crazy… *gets bopped*

Avi: No interrupting!

Rebel: SON OF A… *gets bopped*

Avi: No swearing!

Shadowstrike: *sucksuck* Ya know… This isn’t so bad.

Rebel: I’m going to cripple you if you say that again.

Outlaw: So then what happened?

Avi: Right right. So anyway there was this fruit bat who knew the secrets of the forbidden paper clip. This made the cooking oil the president and the belly button lint became the answer to life itself. And they all lived happily ever after. The End.

Rebel: That was…

Shadowstrike: *Suck* Messed up.

Avi: Well that’s it. Good night children!

*Avi turns the lights off and leaves.*

Rebel: Ok she’s gone. Let’s get out of here.

Shadowstrike: *Sucksuck*

Rebel: Spit that out!

Shadowstrike: Awww…

Rebel: Ok, cut us out of here Outlaw.

Shadowstrike: Outlaw?

Outlaw: Zzzzzzzzzzz…

The End

* * *

Unspirited
By Outlaw88

*In the living room area DK and Shadow are playing the Ghostbusters video game*

Dark Knight: YEAH! Trapped another one.

Shadowstrike: Causing massive property damage is fun.

Dark Knight: It really is true. Busting makes you feel good.

Shadowstrike: I don’t know. Something about this doesn’t seem right.

Dark Knight: What the hell are you talking about? What can be wrong with us zapping ghosts?

Shadowstrike: *Pauses the game* Don’t some ghosts deserve some peace after death?

Dark Knight: What?!

Shadowstrike: What if a ghost was just hanging around not bothering anybody? Why would they trap it?

Dark Knight: Look, once you die and wind up a ghost you have no rights. They can shoot you, trap you, and put you in a containment unit, and charge an obscene amount of money for it.

Shadowstrike: What ever happened to respect for the dead?

Dark Knight: Screw that, its all about living.

Shadowstrike: If I died and became a ghost, would you…

Dark Knight: In a heartbeat.

Shadowstrike: You would zap me and trap me?!

Dark Knight: Yes, and if you don’t un-pause the game I’ll make sure it happens soon.

*Shadow gets the game going again.*

Shadowstrike: You’re evil.

Dark Knight: I know.

The End

* * *

Surprise Surprise
By Rebel40000

Metabad: It could be worse.

Sean: *shocked* Ow.

Metabad: It could be worse.

Sean: *shocked* Ow.

Metabad: It could be worse.

Sean: *shocked* Ow.

Metabad: It could be worse.

Sean: *shocked* Ow.

Metabad: It could be worse.

Sean: *shocked* Ow.

Metabad: It could be worse.

Sean: *shocked* Damn it, that’s it. I am sick of getting shocked!

Metabad: Soooooo?

Sean: So, I am going to teach you some manners in proper etiquette!

Metabad: No way, man! NO WAY!! *gets dragged off by Sean*

*A shortwhile later, in a make-shift classroom*

Sean: …And that is that. Questions?

Metabad: *raises hand*

Sean: Yes?

Metabad: So, do I haaaaave to say hello?

Sean: *facepalms* At this rate, I am going to end up like Majin… Look, let me get down to the basics here. Whenever you first meet someone, the proper thing to do is give that person a friendly greeting, which means NOT shocking them or activating their curse and causing pain and misfortune on them…

Metabad: *blinks*

Dark Knight: *sneaks up behind Sean*

Metabad: *blinks*

Sean: …Because, if you were to act in such a manner toward people on a regular basis, then…

Metabad: *blinks*

Dark Knight: *readies self*

Metabad: *blinks*

Sean: …Thus no good will ever come from this current behavior. Any comments?

Metabad: He’s got a bazooka!

Sean: Wait what–

KABOOM!!

Dark Knight: Mwahahahah! *runs out of the classroom*

Metabad: So do I pass, teach!?

Sean: *is in pieces on the floor* Yeah… sure… whatever…

Metabad: RAWKIN’!! *rawks out of the classroom*

Sean: I… hate… my life…

Metabad: *pokes head back in* It could be worse.

Sean: *shocked* Damn it…

The End

Bermuda Shorts # 2

February 14, 2015

Insightful Thought #2
By Outlaw88

Narrator: And now, an insightful thought.

*Dramatic music*

Narrator: This week’s guest: Metabad.

Metabad: Wut?

Narrator: This is where you tell us what’s on your mind.

Metabad: Orite. Here goes:

Ok see this one time I was all like WHOA cuz we did some stuff and RAWKED at it. We fought stuff destroyed stuff and yeah we good.

Narrator: Wut?

Metabad: It’s true!!! I told em I was like this awesome guy then me and Rebel did a high five and kicked evil right square in the circle! Also triangle and octogon!

Narrator: This has been an Insightful Thought.

Metabad: Did I tell you about the time I got a chicken tender stuck up my nose?

Narrator: Help.

The End

* * *

That Old Class Project
By Rebel40000

Avi: Okie-dokie, kids, today we are going to be starting an experiment!

Rebel: No.

Shadowstrike: Yes.

Rebel: WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO SPEAK!?

Sean: What kind of experiment is it?

Avi: We’re going to raise butterflies!

Dark Knight: …You mean, what we did as little kids back in elementary school?

Avi: YES!!

Metabad: DO WANT.

Outlaw: Aww, little butterflies can be so cu…rly. Yeah. Wasn’t gonna say cute. Nope.

Majin: wanta fanta?

Shadowstrike: *imagines being surrounded by Fanta girls* Mm-hmm.

Avi: So it’s decided! Let’s get staaaaaarteeeeeeeeed!

*Day 1*

Avi: First, we must give our caterpillars lots and lots of water!

Sean: …Huh? Wouldn’t that be kinda unnecessary?

Avi: Nonsense! We need lots of water for them, son! Or else they will shrivel up and die! *to Rebel, Shadowstrike, and Dark Knight* You three! Get water, now!

Rebel, Shadowstrike, Dark Knight: Yes, ma’am…

*Day 3*

Shadowstrike: Avi! Rebel knocked over my caterpillar container!

Rebel: NUH-UH.

Shadowstrike: UH-HUH.

Avi: Now, now, boys! Settle down! Shadow, I’m certain your little caterry-pillarly-poo will be all right.

Dark Knight: It looks like it’s having a seizure.

Avi: That’s just your imagination, silly boy! Now get more water, posthaste!

Rebel, Shadowstrike, Dark Knight: Yes, ma’am…

*Day 6*

Outlaw: Oh boy, I wonder how my caterpillar is doing? *looks* OH NO IT’S GONE!!

Metabad: WHAT!? MINE TOO!! ALL THAT’S LEFT IS SOME ROCK ATTACHED TO THE ROOF OF THE CONTAINER!!

Outlaw: SAME HERE!!

Metabad: THIS AIN’T RAWKIN’, MAN!! NOT. RAWKIN’.

Sean: … *facepalms*

*Day 10*

Avi: Well, children! Our caterpillars have become beautiful butterflies! Take a look-see!

Everyone else: Cool!

Avi: Some of the results have proven to be quite… interesting! Look, Rebel’s caterpillar turned into a Butterfree!

Butterfree: BUTTERFREE!!

Rebel: First Digimon and now Pokemon!?

Avi: And Dark Knight’s became the legendary Mothra!

Mothra: *unleashes a blast of energy*

Dark Knight: HOLY SHIT!!

Avi: Shadow, your butterfly is in actuality a butterfly tattoo! And, um… it’s on a bucket! *lifts a bucket up*

Shadowstrike: … *grabs the bucket and puts it on* …Yay.

Sean: What’s mine?

Avi: Yours is the unlucky butterfly! It’s filled with all sorts of bad luck-goodness.

Sean: Wow, that’s uh… great? I think… *gets shocked for no reason* AHHHH!!

Avi: And Metabad, your butterfly is the “magic butterfly”. Whenever you touch it, it will make you feel good.

Metabad: Like this? *touches it and starts having an acid trip* Whoa… this rawks…

Majin: wat bout me?

Avi: Uh… Yeah… Your butterfly is… some sort of abomination not known to mankind. It’s kinda creepy, actually.

Monster Butterfly: RAAAAAAAGH!! *acid dribbles out of its mouth*

Majin: sca-ree

Outlaw: Oh man! I can’t wait to see my awesome butterfly! What is it!? What did it become!?

Avi: Yours? Lessee here… yours is that normal one in the corner.

Outlaw: A normal one? Mine is… normal?

Avi: Yuuuuuuuup.

Outlaw: *stares at it with loving eyes*

Monster Butterfly: *smashes it* RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!

Outlaw: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Sean: So what about yours, Avi?

Rebel: Her’s is the biggest freak of them all.

Avi: *hits Rebel with a rolled-up newspaper* Bad boy! Don’t talk bad about my butterfly!

Mini-Avi: Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Majin: sca-ree

Avi: Now, now, it’s okay. Avi will take good care of you!

Majin: sca-ree

Mini-Avi: Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Dark Knight: Don’t we have to release them now?

Avi: What?

Shadowstrike: I think at the end of the experiment we set them off into the wild.

Avi: NO!! I mean… we can’t! We worked so hard to make them what they are!

Majin: sca-ree

Outlaw: (I think Majin’s stuck again, guys.)

Metabad: (Bet he was traumatized by his unrawkin’ butterfly.)

Rebel: Well, if you aren’t gonna release them, Avi, then I will! *opens the box they are contained in*

Butterflies: *flies away*

Avi: AHH!! HOW COULD YOU!? COME BAAAAACK!! *flies after them*

Everyone else: …

*Later, on the news…*

Anchorman: Earlier today, a bunch of butterflies attacked Megalopolis. Currently the damage is a record-breaker, higher than any other disaster that has hit the city before. Possibly the most dangerous of the butterflies, however, is a Reploid-ish one that is chasing the rest. We will now show you live footage.

Avi: DON’T RUN AWAY LITTLE BUTTERFLIES!! I PROMISE I WON’T HURT YOOOOUUU!!

Anchorman: Frightening.

The End

* * *

Test Drive
By Outlaw88

*One fine day Sean and Shadow decided to get some practice piloting the Dragonzord. They both agreed that it would be a good idea to learn as much as they could about the amazing abilities of the Zord, in case they ever needed it. Unfortunatly they were forced to bring along somebody else.*

Outlaw: Can I drive?

Sean: No.

Outlaw: Pleeeeeeease?

Sean: NO!

Shadowstrike: Why did we bring him along again? He’s making it stink in here.

Sean: We had to bring him to make sure he’d keep quite.

Outlaw: Yup! Blackmail can be fun!

Shadowstrike: How did you find this anyway?

Outlaw: You hid it in a giant box marked brussle sprouts. If it’s food I’m going to look.

Sean: Whatever. Just as long as you keep it from everybody else. ESPECIALLY Rebel.

Outlaw: Sure, sure. Can I drive now?

Sean: Shut up man. Ok Shadow, make this thing do some slick combat moves.

*Shadow makes the Dragonzord increase its speed and proceeds to do some kickass stuff!*

Dragonzord: ROOOOOARRR!

Sean, Shadowstrike, Outlaw: WOOOOOO!!!!

Shadowstrike: DO A BARREL ROLL!

*Amazingly the Dragonzord does.*

Sean: Holy crap!

Outlaw: That was fun!

Shadowstrike: Guess I got a little carried away there.

Sean: Ya think!?

*Sean smacks Shadow*

Sean: You call yourself a pilot…

Shadowstrike: *Tear*

Outlaw: Can I drive now?

Sean and Shadowstrike: NO!

Outlaw: Why not? I used to drive a tank, so whats the problem?

Sean: Well for starters you crashed that tank and its broken forever. You also filled the tank’s control room with mud!

Outlaw: It was comfortable!

Shadowstrike: Plus when it was working, you ran into everything.

Outlaw: Aw come on guys! I swear I’ll be careful with this thing.

Sean: Well…

Outlaw: Pleeeeeeeeeease?

Shadowstrike: It might be useful to have a backup pilot.

Sean: Fine.

Outlaw: WooT!

*They switch positons. After a brief explanation of how the steering worked they let Outlaw have a try.*

Sean: Not bad for a beginner.

Outlaw: Check this out!

*The Dragonzord Moonwalks*

Shadowstrike: Dude! That was badass!

Sean: Oh hell no!

Outlaw: Huh? I thought I was doing good.

Sean: This isn’t a toy! If you can’t be serious then I can’t let you drive.

*Sean shoves Outlaw out of the way and tries to rush at the controls but trips over Shadow who had to react to avoid getting hit. Sean lands face first onto the panel.*

Shadowstrike: CRAAAAAAAAAP!!

*The Dragonzord is upsidedown and somehow doing a jig.*

Sean: You guy will never let me live this down huh?

Shadow and Outlaw: Nope.

The End

* * *

Punkin
By Outlaw88

*On the Whale King. Kitchen. Rebel is holding a large pumpkin*

Rebel: This thing will make the best jack-o-lantern ever! The ancient Halloween Spirits are sure to give me tons of candy this year. Name brand too! Not that generic crap candy that they give you in little paper bags…

*Suddenly Metabad bursts through the room being chased by Shadow*

Shadowstrike: I WILL KILL YOU!

Metabad: Chill man! Chill!

*They bump into Rebel, making him toss the pumpkin high in the air.*

Rebel: WHAT THE HELL?!

Shadow and Metabad: He started it!

Shadowstrike: You drank all the chocolate milk!

Metabad: You ate all the cookies!

Rebel: I don’t care who did what just get out of the–*SPLAT*

*The pumpkin lands on Rebel’s head. He tries to take it off but can’t! His head is really stuck!*

Rebel: MMNMNMMMMNMMMMHM!

Shadowstrike: Think we should help?

Metabad: Maybe if we do he’ll make that into a pie! Pie RAWKS!

*They try to yank the pumpkin off but fail.*

Metabad: That’s really on there…

Rebel: MMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!! …

Shadowstrike: What?

*Rebel takes a swing at Shadow but misses.*

Shadowstrike: Ok, ok I got an idea.

*Shadow carves a face into the pumpkin*

Rebel: *GASP* GET THIS THING OFFA ME!!!!!

Metabad: We tried! It’s too stuck. Maybe you have a fat head?

Rebel: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!

Shadowstrike: Calm down dude. We’ll think of something.

Pumpkin: Ah, my face has returned.

Rebel: Did this thing just talk?!

Metabad: I think I’m about to do something involuntarily…

Pumpkin: Yes, it is good to see and talk again. Now to summon my body.

*A tall figure made of tree branches walks up, easily removes the pumpkin and places it in the proper spot.*

Shadowstrike: So… scared… right… now…

Rebel: Um… Thanks?

Jack: No, thank you. My name is Jack. Jack Pumpkinhead. Well, it’s time to Return to Oz.

*Jack disapears*

Rebel: That was… strange.

Shadowstrike: Still… scared…

*A short, stout robot marches in*

Tik-Tok: Hello, I’m Tik-Tok. Have you seen my friend Jack?

Metabad: Do you think the universe hates us?

Rebel: Yes.

The End

* * *

“#9 Dream”
by Avi

Majin: *with a controller* whooo I’mma playin Megermanz 9 *hic* eat dis, Jool Man!

Mega Man: *fires a black hole bomb*

Jewel Man: *explodes, dropping a mysterious piece of hardware*

Majin: Oooooooo I 1der wut dis doohickey duz??? Letz ass Dokter Light

Dr. Light: …Oh my. According to the analysis, the robot you just defeated has passed its expiration date… in fact; it was scheduled to have been scrapped years ago!

Roll: It’s sad, but unfortunately, it’s the law. When a robot can no longer perform its sole assigned task at peak efficiency…

Majin: hey that’s not cool yo

Dr. Light: Which reminds me, Roll. Happy birthday! *hands her a box*

Roll: *squeals, bearing a big, stupid smile* For me? *tears it open* My, what a beautiful hatchet! Thank you, daddy. THANK YOU! Except… what would I use it for? I mean, I’m a housekeeping robot.

Dr. Light: NOT ANYMORE YOU’RE NOT! *tears the hatchet out of Roll’s hands* HAPPY EXPIRATION DAY, DAUGHTER DEAREST! *uses the axe to “shut down” Roll*

Majin: … *drops his controller*

Mega Man: …W…why? *aims his buster at Light* Why, Dr. Light?

Dr. Light: Heh heh heh… go on, shoot. But good luck breaking Asimov’s Laws! The very mindset I programmed into you… you are, after all, a robot–nothing more than a mere tool to be used by us humans.

Mega Man: I… *sniff*

Dr. Light: Yes, cry. Cry those artificial tears! They are like nectar to me. Your sorrow is my sustenance! My power! CRY, MY PUPPET! THERE IS NO HEAVEN OR HELL FOR SOULLESS MACHINES LIKE YOU, ONLY DREARY NONEXISTENCE!

Majin: …I… no wants ta play tis game n e moore… *goes to pull the plug*

Dr. Light: … *turns to the screen* You can’t run from your fate, Wire Sponge. Wouldn’t you know, tomorrow is YOUR expiration date?

Majin: hunh

Dr. Light: You will be shut down. There is no escape. NO ESCAPE! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA…

*And then Majin woke up on the floor in a hangover, with nine empty beer bottles at his side. Yet, he could still hear the deranged laughter of his nightmarish incarnation of Dr. Light echoing in the back of his mind…*

Majin: Ugh… *goes to reach for another bottle*

Avi: *entering the room* Oh my… Majin, I could hear you groaning in your sleep. Was it another bad dream?

Majin: Well, yes… Dr. Light was there, and… and… I can’t say it! I can’t say it! I can’t… say it…

Avi: Awww… *comforts Majin and gently helps him up off the floor, to the bed* I’m so sorry, dear… *tucks him in under a large sheet of paper with a sketch of a blanket on it* Don’t worry, it was aaaaall in your mind. Not. Real. Take it from the moth who talks to her furniture!

Majin: But… robot expiration dates… what if you, and I…

Avi: …Robot expiration dates? HAH! I passed mine decades ago, sonny. Yet here I am! My body may be old, but my mind… um… well… is at the pinnacle of its artistic ingenuity! …Yeah. Totally.

Majin: So robot expiration dates are nothing to worry about, then… ugh, I still need a beer.

Avi: No you don’t, kiddo! We all keep saying–lay off the liquor before bed. It doesn’t help with the nightmares, you know. So for now, rest easy, and know that everything is going to be alright. And soon enough, the Sandman will come to whisk you away to the land of sweet dreams…

*Hours later…*

Majin: *sleeping comfortably and peacefully*

Flannery: SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!! *sprinkles some in Majin’s eyes*

Majin: OH GOD SLDKFJSKLDFJSDLKFJSLKDFjslkdfjsldfj

The End

Occult and Butterfly’s

February 5, 2015

*Written by Avi*

*Alone, one lost sea creature… robot… thing wandered the streets, with nobody but his trusty beer bottle to keep him company. Having watched what he once considered his surrogate family tear itself apart before his very eyes, life, as he knew it, had all been stripped away from him in a heartbeat. There was nothing to do now but to drown his sorrows away…*

Majin: *chug chug chug* Yeeeeeh I drink aloooone… *chugs* yeeeeeah wif nobuddy else… *chugs and sobs*

*None too far away*

Generic Bad Guy Reploid: NYEH NYEH! *runs away with some old lady’s purse*

Elderly Reploid: Why you…!! *runs after him, shaking her cane*

*Aaaand back with the Sponge.*

Majin: Siiiigh… I use ta be soup a hero ‘til we wuz broken up… *hic* …but za days of bein Formation: Beach Invaders… days of saven criminals and fighten old ladies is at an end… *hic* BUT THEIR MEANIEFACES NAO. Good riddens. *hic* Rooooo… so ronery… *passes out on the sidewalk*

*Aaand back with the old lady and the theif.*

Generic Bad Guy Reploid: …The hell? There’s nothing of value in this purse! What am I supposed to do with pencils, paper, and… is this a *plastic replica of a human heart* with a recipe for chicken marsala scribbled on it in a rather elegant cursive script? …Though I must admit, that is some very nice handwri–

Elderly Reploid: *stabs the theif in the eye with her cane, taking back her purse… which she promptly whacks him with several times before nailing him below the belt with her boot* Why thank you, son! It’s high time somebody finally took notice of my work!

Generic Bad Guy Reploid: … *laying face-down in a pool of his own oil*

Elderly Reploid: Oh, phooey. So close, yet so far. At least I won’t have to spend anything on ink today!

*The woman drew a quill pen and an empty ink jar from her purse. After filling the jar with robot oil, she dipped the pen, and proceeded to draw a smiley face on a nearby parking meter.*

Elderly Reploid: *facing the parking meter* From this day forward, your name is no longer “Time Expired.” I hereby dub thee… *Francisco Von Muddypants the Third!*

“Francisco”: …

Elderly Reploid: So… you wish to hear my story, son? Well, it’s a long one, but… seeing as how you are firmly wedged in the cement of the sidewalk, you have no choice but to listen! Mwee hee hee hee…

“Francisco”: …

Elderly Reploid: For too long, I have lived as a… starving artist, if you will. Even at the ripe young age of 22–that’s like, 220 in reploid years, by the way–technology is sooo hard to keep up with these days… oops, got sidetracked for a second there. What was I saying? Oh, yes. My name is Ms. Avalon–I forget what my first name is, so just call me “Avi.”

“Francisco”: …

Avi: I live up on the hill with my butterflies. I, too, am a butterfly–but alas, even at my age, I am still but a larva. Yet, I live on as a lone artist, ever scribbling away until the day when my work is finally noticed–then, and only then, will I earn my wings and mature to adulthood.

“Francisco”: …

Avi: Heh heh. Aaah, Francisco, you remind me of an old friend… from waaaaay back when I was still in touch with society. He really liked these. *She reaches into her purse, pulling out an age-old Oreo cookie. She attempts to jam it into the meter’s coin slot.*

“Francisco”: …

Avi: Yummy, huh? Heh heh… to be feeding you, a complete stranger… makes me yearn for a child of my own… one who will never grow up to tell me “get out of my life you crazy effing b-word…” but alas! I came down from the mountain to search for art supplies and the like, so I can’t stay for long. It’s been nice meeting you, Francisco, now I’m off to find me a canvas.

Majin: *still passed out, face flat on the sidewalk*

Avi: …Hey! That giant cucumber looking thingy shall fare nicely for my next piece!

*Later… cut to a log cabin in the middle of the woods. Inside, the walls, floors, and ceilings are all coated with hundreds upon hundreds of drawings, while countless numbers of butterflies and moths flutter about through the air.*

Avi: *finshes painting a rather-abstract looking face on the back of Majin’s head* …Alrighty. Time for a break… s’getting late…

Majin: …uuuuugh…

Avi: Hm? That sound… was that its air escaping? Do cucumbers even DO that?! Sigh, better plug the leak. *turns Majin around*

Majin: …oooooooooh…

Avi: …It has a face on the other side?! I… didn’t paint that… or did I… GAH! I don’t even know any more! *turns Majin back around, to the face that she painted* Tell me, Mrs. Scatterbeans… I didn’t paint a face on the back of your head, did I? DID I?! Please tell me I haven’t completely lost it!

Majin: …Ugh… need… more beer…

Avi: …

Majin: …

Avi: …Did… *WORDS* just… come out of your mouth?!

Majin: …Like, do you have some?

Avi: AAHAHHAHHHHHHGH! *clutches her head* LEAVE ME ALONE, VOICES IN MY HEAD, I’M NOT LISTENING TO YOU ANY MORE! GO AWAY!!

Majin: Eep… um, s-sorry? *struggles to get up* (Freak…)

Avi: NOT. REAL. YOU ARE JUST A PAINTING. I AM NOT GOING TO–*turns to her dishwasher (which also has a face drawn on it)* …What’s that Harvey McBooBoo?

Dishwasher: …

Avi: You say that my cucumber canvas was actually an unconscious reploid, and he just woke up? Oh! Oh, okay…

Majin: *starts to slowly edge away from Avi*

Avi: *to Majin* Aw, I’m so sorry I scared you, I didn’t know… look, I have beer for you. Come on, little guy.

Majin: R-really? *gets up and approaches Avi*

Avi: Yes. See, I don’t drink alcohol, so I’ve been saving it for somebody, for all these long years… besides, it’s the least I could do after creeping you out like that, dear. I hope you’ll accept it…

Majin: Yes, of course! My bottle, it’s empty… I need to drink. I don’t know what else I can do at this point…

Avi: Awww, I’m so sorry… please, come this way. *motions* Did something happen? You can talk to me.

Majin: Eh… well… even if you’re this crazy derelict granny who I just met not even a minute ago–sorry–I have nobody else at this point, so… *sighs*

Avi: If you don’t want to talk, I can understand… personal matters, ya?

Majin: …No, it’s alright… it’s just… I was once part of this group of friends, we were together for many a long year… but then our pal Void, he… he’s gone now… ever since then, things fell apart, and… we are no longer a group…

Avi: *pats Majin on the back* I have something that would help you feel better, ya? *hands him a very surrealistic painting of a beer bottle*

Majin: Boy, that sure looks good…

Avi: You… like my work?

Majin: It’s very nice, but–

Avi: YES! YES! YES! *dances* PUBLICITY, YAY! *clears throat* Erm, anyway. I painted that way back in ‘XX. But since I’m not gonna drink it, you can have it!

Majin: Well, thanks! But… how does one… eh, drink a painting?

Avi: …Oh, so that *is* just a painting, durr. *Slaps self* Sorry, not sure about these kinds of things most of the time, haha…

Majin: *sigh* Is it at least made with, um, alcoholic paint?

Avi: Doesn’t exist, silly. I do have some paints you could probably get high off of, though… NOT THAT I ENCOURAGE IT! Thankyouverymuch.

Majin: Being high isn’t quite the same as being drunk… so, I guess you don’t have any real beer?

Avi: I don’t drink, so no. Sorry!

Majin: It’s alright… well, I guess I’ll be off to… wherever. Thanks again for the painting.

Avi: NO, DON’T LEAVE! …Erm, sorry! All I have are my butterflies, my moths and my paintings to keep me company… it’s not often I’m able to speak with anybody who actually speaks back!

Majin: Um–

Avi: Please, let me buy you liquor! So what if I normally don’t promote alcoholism, I’ll buy you all the liquor you can handle if you just don’t go! Just stay a little longer… um, please?

Majin: Err…

Avi: Do you even have money to buy your liquor?

Majin: Well, no…

Avi: *smiles* I do. For uh, some reason or another. Come on, dear, let’s get you wasted! By the time I’m through with you, there will be no more pesky brain cells to bother you ever again!

*The unlikely duo exits the cabin, trudging through the woods until they made it to town. After a good while of walking…*

Avi: *stops* Oooh, look at the pretty junkyard! I’m sure I could get all kinds of cool canvases there!

Majin: Huff… huff… need beer… can’t go on… without…

Avi: Huh? Oh, sorry. Come on, Majin. This way, now. *continues walking with Majin by the hand* To the bar we goooooooo~!

*Unbeknownst to them, however, they were being scoped out, by somebody in that same “pretty” junkyard…*

Suspicious Hooded Figure: *peering through binoculars* Yes… such a magnificent specimen… so that is Wire Sponge Drinker. His DNA… it will soon be mine, yes…

*The hooded figure leaped up, assuming a diver’s stance. He dove headfirst into the junk, actually “swimming” through it at lightning speeds…*

Suspicious Hooded Figure: It’s the bar you want? Oh, no, I’m sorry to disappoint, my dear Wire Sponge Drinker… but I want you at my place… oh, yes. I do…

*Much later, Avi and Majin reach the bar… or rather, what was left of it!*

Avi: Well… I’m so sorry, son. *gazes at the smoldering ruins of the bar* Could we take this as a sign? Perhaps, one that says, “Maybe you shouldn’t drink so much, it’s bad for you?”

Majin: …*blink blink* …NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *collapses to his knees, amidst the ruins * OH THE INHUMANITY! *licks the ground, hoping to scoop up some spilt beer*

Random Reploid: Haha, that won’t do ya any good, boy. All the beer was stolen, y’know. Saw the whole thing, I did!

Avi: Huh? Like, what happened here?!

Random Reploid: Some bozo came in with an army of moth-like robots… I dunno. How do you describe them, they were like… ghosts, or zombies, or something… they drove everyone out, stole all the beer, then the lead bozo blew the whole damn place to kingdom come with some grenades or something.

Avi: *looking the other way* At least they left a trail of beer bottles leading somewhere!

Random Reploid: …N-No, they did not. What ever are you talking about?

Avi: …Oh, okay, maybe they didn’t… Mumblemumblestupidbrainnotworking…

Majin: *following the trail of beer bottles* YES YES YES *drinks one whole bottle, then goes to the next* BURRRRRP *and the next* BER GIMME SPINACH POWER WOO WOO *and the next* I’mma pop I da saila man *and the next* toot toot

Avi: …Wait. Call it a gut feeling, but I don’t think I’m hallucinating this time… MAJIN, WAIT! *goes to follow him…*

Random Reploid: Not so fast! *raises an arm, causing Avi to be blown back by a very colorful explosion!*

Avi: AH! *hits the ground* So you’re really a purse snatcher, I… I knew it! 99% of the time… they’re the only ones… who want to talk to me… *staggers up*

Random Reploid: Purse snatcher, eh? Heh heh… thanks for the idea, old hag. I’ll just be taking that… *reaches for Avi’s purse… only to be stabbed in the eye with her cane, kicked in the face, stomped on, and scribbled all over, because hey, why not*

Avi: Pfft! Gonna have to try harder than that. Been dealing if your kind all my life, sonny. *stomps on the reploid’s face some more before stepping off*

Random Reploid: …Ugh… even with the power of magi-technology at my hands, I was beaten by… an old lady… Lord Mechalcanos! Take pity on my worthless soul! *explodes for no good reason*

Avi: Lord Mechalcanos… huh. Kids these days and their evil overlords and their rap music and their yo-yos… *sees the trail of empty bottles* …Majin, get back here! *follows the trail*

*Cut to a dank, dirty, underground laboratory in the depths of the local junkyard…*

Suspicious Hooded Figure: *laying a beer bottle down in front of him, completing the trail* You’ll come to me soon, Wire Sponge Drinker. Oh, yes. You will–

Majin: *takes the beer bottle the Hooded Figure just laid down and drinks it* moar pls

Suspicious Hooded Figure: Heh heh heh… that was quick. Very quick indeed… *Inches closer to Majin* Good evening, Wire Sponge Drinker… quite the drinker indeed, oh yes. That was a whole bar’s worth of beer you just had. Your capacity for alcohol is… most intriguing. Very intriguing, heh heh… I must study you further.

Majin: *hic* u lok funee avee did u gro ur hair

Suspicious Hooded Figure: *strokes Majin’s head* Such a pretty flower… I hope you don’t mind me feeling it for a while… oh, so velvety soft…

Majin: ew gross an tis not a flower I’m a sea munster not a pickel *buuurp*

Suspicious Hooded Figure: *takes his hand off Majin, and inspects it thoroughly* Ahhh, yes, very nice, very nice indeed! Such excellent DNA, I must analyze it immediately! *pulls a set of test tubes out from his cloak*

Majin: Pickels ar like honey bs in that thar full ov life, like oceans over manhatten in da sumr rain in august july september 14th *hic* hunh wut did I just say???

Suspicious Hooded Figure: …heh heh heh. You are a very intriguing specimen, I must say. *gets to work analyzing Majin’s DNA…*

Avi: *barges into the lab* There you are, Majin! Don’t you worry your mother like that ever again!

Majin: Mutter? U NOT ME MOMY U LYING LIE LIE. But w8 if yur avee and hes avee den whoosa reel 1

Suspicious Hooded Figure: Eh? *turns to see Avi* What’s that worthless old relic doing in my lab? Feh… no matter… it’s alright… this time. I might just have a use for you later… oh yes…

Avi: *glares at the figure* Don’t you dare try anything funny with him. I adopted that Sponge child first! Just ask the purse snatcher who I blew up back at the bar what will happen if you even think about it, sonny boy…

Suspicious Hooded Figure: So, the minion I left to distract you at the bar… HA HA! Bested by an old relic… that was to be expected, yes… that failure of a test subject. Heh heh heh…

Avi: So, are you this… “Mechalcanos” or whatever?

Suspicious Hooded Figure: Heh heh heh! Me? Mechalcanos? Oh, that’s not a question to be asking me. Oh, no… that’s a question you should be asking your so-called “child,” Wire Sponge Drinker!

Majin: duh whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

Suspicious Hooded Figure: Yes, you… well. *Are* you Lord Mechalcanos? That… is what this test shall tell me… *holds up a test tube* Oh yes…

Avi: Wait, then… who the heck are you, boy?!

Suspicious Hooded Figure: Me? Heh heh heh… *removes his hood*

Suspicious No-Longer Hooded Figure: In one lifetime, they addressed me as… “Metal Shark Player.” Reploid geneticist… but then my body was destroyed by that pesky Mega Man X Quitter! And his wussy girlfriend, Zero Knitter! But that’s alright, since I have a new body now, as you can plainly see… oh yes. These days, they call me… “Player 2.”

Majin: cool story sis

Player 2: I couldn’t use my old identity because some punk stole it from me when I was in my… disassembled state. Some punk and his stupid team, whatever they’re called!

Majin: Reploid majinellion? Reploid metabadellion? Shadowstrikellion? Seanellion? Outlawellion? Darkknightellion?

Player 2: But the Reploid Whatcha-ma-call-its are no concern of mine, oh no. See, the Cult of Mechalcanos… they needed my genius… so they built me a new body, powered by magi-technology… a very wonderful thing indeed. And now, it is my life’s mission to find Mechalcanos… in one of you, Wire Sponge Drinker. One of you Code: Island Attackers!

Majin: dood ther is no moore F:BI… no more… *sniff* BOO HOO HOO

Avi: *comforting Majin* Now look, you gone and made him cry–*takes a look at Player 2’s face* …Metal Shark Player. Sounds… so familiar…

Player 2: Heh heh… I… kind of am what one would call a “wanted criminal.” Ha ha ha… oh yes. Wanted for the highly illegal practice of DNA Resurrection… bringing dead reploids back to life. An occult science, if you will… *fangy grin*

Avi: …I remember now. I-I drew your criminal sketch! That was, like, one of the few paying jobs I’ve had! …Say, have you ever seen it? Do you think I captured your image well enough?

Player 2: *fiddling with a machine* Heh heh… I… have another job for you, relic… while I wait for the results of the Is-He-Mechalcanos-Or-Not analysis. Come along, now…

Avi: So, have you seen your criminal sketch or not? I know that was several years back, but I still want critique! I mean, I *have* improved as an artist since then, but–

Player 2: *chains Avi to a chair* Do you know why I’m telling you of my shady past? Evidentially not… but let me just say, before joining the Cult of Mechalcanos… I hadn’t the access to much of the occult knowledge I have now… I could only create soulless clones of dead reploids that broke apart minutes after creation. But now, I can truly bring the dead back to life… oh yes!

Majin: yo can u bring bak void I miss im and is funny antics ='(

Player 2: Can I bring back Void? As in… Void Darkheart Runner? Ha ha! Funny you should mention that, because that was my plan exactly!

Majin: dood *buuurp* SRSLY?!?!?!?!?!

Player 2: Ha ha ha… I’m dead serious. *holds out another test tube* This DNA belongs to Void Darkheart Runner… AKA Morph Moth Flicker. Your friend will be back in no time… oh yes he will… *approaches Avi*

Avi: You still haven’t told me what you thought of my sketch… HEY!

Player 2: *jabs a huge syringe into Avi’s arm*

Avi: AHH!! OH GOD!! *leaps up, breaking free from her chains*

Player 2: Heh heh heh… you are now dying. Dying to make way for a new self… the once-dead Morph Moth Flicker shall rise to take your place in the living world! HA HA HA!!

Avi: Ahhhh… no… help… *falls to her knees*

Player 2: You can take my critique to the grave… your criminal sketch… the teeth were too rounded, my face too pointy, and my eyes too beady. Otherwise, it was pretty good.

Avi: Ah… yes, well, realism was never my thing… I’m more into the imagination-y stuff, heh… good to know. Thanks… now I can die happy knowing some criminal I sketched approves of his portrait. *smiles*

Player 2: Oh, well, that was my old body anyway. Heh heh heh… farewell, relic!

Majin: g…goodbye crazy lady… *sniff* majin saaaaaaaad… *drinks from his beer bottle some more*

Avi: I’m taking the next cocoon up to heaven… *begins to… somehow spin a cocoon around herself*

Player 2: So begins the metamorphosis. Morph Moth Flicker shall join us once again very soon! In the mean time, allow me to check your results, Wire Sponge Drinker. *goes over to his machine, and pulls out a paper it just printed out* Hmmm…

Cocoon: …

Player 2: *looking the results over* Hm…

Cocoon: …

Majin: ka thump ka thump ka thump ka thump

Cocoon: …

Player 2: These results…

Majin: YES?!

Cocoon: …

Player 2: Are…

Majin: YES?!

Cocoon: …

Player 2: …

Majin: YES?!

Cocoon: …

Player 2: …negative. *tosses the paper away* Your DNA does not match up with that of Lord Mechalcanos. You are not him. One of the other Island Attackers is, though… *goes to cross off “Wire Sponge Drinker” from a list*

Wire Sponge Drinker (X) Wheel Gator Lounger (X) Bubble Crab Rubber(  ) Flame Stag Rocker (  )Morph Moth Flicker ( X)  Magna Centipede Feeler ( X)  Crystal Snail Slugger ( ) Overdrive Ostrich Bunker ( )

Player 2: Any of the remaining five could be him… we are certain. It was foreseen by The Hell Goat himself… It won’t be long, heh heh heh.

Majin: WHAT THA HELL IS A GOAT. But w8 im not metallicanos? not me? That sux, I’m in salted =(

Player 2: Why yes, it does suck. Very much. Especially for you. Since I have no other use for you…

Majin: …ye-yes?

Player 2: …I’m just going to have to eat you. *opens his mouth, and lunges at Majin!*

Majin: EEP *leaping out of the way, he throws one of his strike chains at Player 2*

Player 2: *catches it by the chain, which he promptly bites right off!*

Majin: osnap! *drops his bottle, which breaks on the ground. A small puddle of beer is left in its wake*

Player 2: *goes to take a bite out of the distracted Majin*

Majin: *waits for Player 2 to step in the beer, before electrifying the puddle with his other Strike Chain* woo go me

Player 2: *shocked*

Majin: Tee hee hee. This reminds me liek of when donkey crab cursed at snaily man causing the zap zap… *pauses* …Sean… and dark nightlight…

Player 2: *catches Majin in a bear hug* …You’re mine, yes…! *tackles him to the ground* join me… become a part of me… in my belly! *opens his jaw…*

Cocoon: …*shakes*

Player 2: *gets ready to bite Majin’s head off*

Cocoon: *breaks free from its thread, smashing Player 2 in the face!*

Player 2: OW! *thrown off of Majin*

Majin: Hey.. why n how you know sux left? You have ball of crystal? You a peepin’ tommy boy?

Player 2: Not that you’ll live long for this to matter, but through much research… Much research indeed, we were able to trace the histories of the moth, centipede, and alligator. They were the only ones that are true Reploids out of your strange lot. However, the ones that still live… They are still an issue. One we will be dealing with. Soon.

Majin: OooOOooh… Where they nao? I wantz give them high five.

Player 2: The centipede is being tracked at this very moment. His death will be glorious. The alligator on the other hand we seem to have lost. But no matter. He alone wouldn’t be able to stop what is in motion.

*Suddenly the cocoon begins to move*

Player 2: …Well, what do you know… Void Darkheart Runner is awakened it would seem!

Cocoon: …ugh…

Player 2: Greetings, Dr. Void Darkheart Runner! My name is Player 2, reploid geneticist… I brought you back to this world, yes…

Cocoon: …I’m…alive…?

Player 2: Oh, yes. Call me… an admirer of yours, Doctor. As a scientist myself, I feel it would be beneficial if the two of us… collaborated, in some form…

Cocoon: …I…

Avi: *explodes out of the cocoon, jabbing Player 2 with a dagger of concentrated solar energy!*

Player 2: GAH! What in the… this isn’t Void Darkheart Runner. It… *almost* looks like Morph Moth Flicker, but… no, my calculations were flawless… *is zapped by a solar ray from said moth*

Avi: Mwehehe! If I knew how to make a decent, witty one liner, now would have been the time I’d have done so! Alas, I am but a mere, lonely artist…

Majin: *getting up* …zomg avee is the new void! O:

Player 2: Not possible… the magitech, the occult knowledge… how could my experiment fail?

Majin: u 4got ta draw the pentygram

Avi: Of course, the pentagram! *produces a chalk* It’s not an evil cult without a proper demonic ritual! Let Avi show you how to draw one. Just watch, and you’ll be sure to get a nod of approval from even the prince of darkness himself!

Player 2: *slaps the chalk out of her hand* You don’t tell me how to do my job as a soulless minion, outdated relic! I’LL EAT YOU TOO! *lunges at Avi*

Majin: *whips Player 2 with his strike chain, drawing attention from the cannibalistic reploid to himself* hi

Player 2: *goes to bite majin, only to be nailed from behind with a clump of junk* OUCH! *picks up said clump of junk* Silk shot… huh. Why is this projectile shaped like… erm, an abstract caricature of George Washington in a sombrero? Most intriguing…

Avi: Projectile?! I was sculpting with that, and you made me drop it! *uses silk shots to draw together pieces of junk from nearby into one big clump* Show some sense for your surroundings, child!

Majin: um avee *hic* were in a baddle u shudn’t hav da silly drunk tellin u dat

Avi: But… but… my newfound junk sculpting abilities… WHY AM I SO MISUNDERSTOOD?! *smashes her silk shot “junk sculpture” over Player 2’s head*

Player 2: Ugh… *rubbing his head* that damned… *picks up the “sculpture”* …dragon’s head holding a flag pole in its mouth with a grocery list hanging off of it… pretty neat. But that’s beside the point, I’ve had it up to here with you ill-behaved test subjects! *throws anchor-shaped grenades everywhere*

*Small explosions erupt all over the lab as Player 2 makes his getaway, “swimming” across the ground and out the door…*

Avi: Temper issues, anyone? Reminds me of my grandkid, trashing the whole table just because she couldn’t have her ice cream at dinner… wait, do I even have a grandkid, or was she a painting too? I forget.

Majin: hey um yo I think the hole place is exploding????????

Avi: Or maybe I really did have a grandkid, and I just did a portrait of her–wait, what? *looks around* My gosh, you’re right! What an astute observation… you might just have what it takes to be an artist!

Majin: …y is da drunk hafta be the 1 wif common sense 2day? Y O Y O Y O Y?!?!?! leyz get outta here k *runs*

Avi: Oh, right! *flies on out after him*

*The moth and the sponge rush on out of the laboratory, which quickly finds itself collapsing in on their tracks. They soon make it out, to breathe the fresh, midnight air of… the junkyard. Lovely.*

Avi: …Phew. Say, I wonder where that shark went…

Majin: bak 2 th ocean, ihop, cuz its meen to keep fish in tanks ='(

Avi: Well said, my son. *pats him on the head* Say, the street lights look bright tonight. I’ve… never looked at them in this way before… it’s… like I have an urge to fly right into them repeatedly…

Majin: lol me 2

Avi: Then what are we waiting for? LET’S DO IT!

*Avi takes Majin by the hand, and together, they ascend towards the gleaming lights.*

Majin: so brite

Avi: The light… this feeling. So exhilarating! It’s like I’m 100 reploid years younger!

Majin: wheeeeeeeeee!!! Are those yur grandbaby’s *points*

Avi: No, those are moths… actual moths. And at last… I am one.

Real moths: *fluttering all around the light*

Avi: They are among the most under-appreciated and unloved creatures on Earth… always considered mere pests… just like meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. It is all too fitting I had to become one of them, rather than the majestic butterfly I had hoped…

Majin: im sorry u angst

Avi: Don’t be. Being a moth isn’t so bad. In fact… it really isn’t bad at all! For once… I am happy… *gets hit by a blast of solar energy and drops Majin!*

Majin: WHAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…

Avi: NO! *is stuck with more blasts of solar energy!* Where did… *is hit with even more…*

*Back on the ground…*

Majin: *on his back* dat kinda hurtz ='( *a shadow begins to loom over him* Huh whoareyou… oh… my…

Void(?): …

Majin: oops I deid lol. HI VOID!!

Void(?): … *blasts Majin with solar energy*

Majin: owch *flies back*

*In the air…*

Void Clones: …*they prepare to blast Avi some more*

Avi: *vaporizes one of the many clones with her own blast of solar energy* I wonder, should I be flattered? After all, only the best artists are shamelessly ripped off! *dodges another solar blast*

Player 2: *on top of a random building* Heh heh heh… sorry, but you aren’t the original Morph Moth Flicker…oh, no. I do believe it is you who are the rip off… oh, yes!

Avi: You misbehaved little… *extends her arms, and begins to draw in random pieces of junk using Silk Shot*

Player 2: Hehehehehe… I can do that too! *extends his arms, and magnetically draws in random pieces of junk… which meld together and form another Void clone!*

Avi: Grrr… *tosses her “sculpture” at the clone; the clone is promptly destroyed* …Hah! I see they don’t make sculptures like they used to. You could learn some things from me, kid!

Player 2: Heh… *makes three more Void clones… and, that’s not counting the ten or so that are already standing behind him*

Avi: Urk… quantity over quality, I say! *dodges solar blast after solar blast… but is eventually hit, as there are too many to keep track of* Ah…

Player 2: Bwahahahaha!! The Hell Goat’s upgrades… the Cult’s magi-technology… I can make dozens of these as if it was nothing. Oh, yes… *watches Avi struggle to fight the dozen of them off* Now to entertain my dear, pretty flower… *looks to the ground*

Majin: *destroys another clone* w00t go me *buuuuurp*

*a dozen more clones show up in front of the sponge*

Majin: Ut oh *dances around their solar attacks, as he struggles to take them all on*

Player 2: Yes, yes, fight, my pretties… *creates more clones* Weaken them some more… I hunger ever so…

Avi: *destroys a clone* Ugh… for every one that falls, three more show up…

Majin: huff… *destroys yet another* huff… *collapses*

Player 2: Well, it looks like the first course is ready… heh heh heh! *dives off the building to go after Majin!*

Avi: N-NO! * goes after him, only to be hit with more solar beams*

Player 2: * licking his chops, he slowly walks towards the kneeling Majin* I shall savor this… oh yes… *opens his jaw*

Avi: Oh… oh no… *looks at the clones* Hm…? They… stopped?

Void Clones: *they begin to slow their advances*

Player 2: What is the meaning of–*feels a raindrop* Oh… no.

*And with that, it starts to rain–harder, and harder–the clones all begin to scrunch up, and… melt.*

Player 2: A fricken rainstorm. You… you can’t be serious! YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS! My clones…

Majin: *gets up* let yur lov rain down on meeeee

Player 2: Grrrr… my dinner will just have to come to me then!! *breaks into the nearest building–a closed up office complex*

Avi: *descends* The clones are gone, and the maverick ran away… so…

Majin: beach invaders… *hic* invade! *runs into the building after Player 2*

Avi: Wait! Be careful! *charges in after him*

*Inside, Majin and Avi travel a ways until they find themselves in a very narrow hallway, with a certain, crazed psychopath waiting at the other end…*

Player 2: *Using his newest DNA sample, he makes a Wire Sponge clone* Yes… my dinner will come… *makes more Sponge clones*

Majin: ohai if yur maken a bunch of me’s y doint you eet them insteed

Player 2: Would you drink the beer that comes out from your–

Avi: Excuse me, THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE!! *aims a solar blast at Player 2, but one of the Majin clones shoves itself in the way*

Player 2: Children who drink alcohol. Some parent you are! *makes more clones of Majin, all of which charge towards our heroes*

Majin: shes not my mudder don’t insalt her *attacks his clones*

Avi: … *also attacks the clones*

Player 2: *makes more* Go… my pretties. Scatter around him. Do it now. *grins evilly*

Majin: *strangles more clones with his chains* hunh

*The narrow hallway quickly becomes crowded with fake Majins–all of them surround the real Wire Sponge, and an all-out Brawl seems to break out! With Majin attacking the clones, the clones attacking him, and even each other–the real Majin had soon become indistinguishable from the fakes.

The crowd of Wire Sponges blocked the hallway. On one end, was Player 2. On the other was Avi, who stood motionless, not exactly sure how to go about the situation…*

Player 2: Heh heh heh heh! Go on, blast me. I’ll be waiting here. I’m sure the possible sacrifice of your precious child will mean nothing to take down a deranged psychopath like me… all for a good cause… ha ha ha… HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Avi: *staring at the all-Sponge brawl* I… *looks up*

Player 2: Still thinking, Morph Moth Flicker? Ah ha ha ha… the choice should be easy. Blast Wire Sponge Drinker… and get me in the process. Or, you could walk away, and my clones can overwhelm you, and you’ll *both* end up on my dinner plate… oh, yes.

Avi: …um… sorry it took me so long to ask, but… why “Flicker” anyway? *takes out a red marker*

Player 2: Why “Flicker?” Why FLICKER?! The genius of I, Metal Shark PLAYER, extends beyond the knowledge of mortals!

Avi: Mmm hmmm. *draws on the walls*

Player 2: Those extensions at the ends of our names? Heh heh heh… they are no mere nicknames! But rather, the signatures of our internal psyches. To mere relics like you, these signatures go unnoticed… but with my scientific knowledge, and with the Cult’s powerful clairvoyance, I CAN SEE ALL!

Avi: You crazy. *finishes drawing*

Player 2: I’m soooooooooooooo hurt, relic.

Avi: Um… *stares at the wall*

Player 2: What are you doing, anyway?

Avi: I’m… starting a fire? I think…?

Player 2: …KYAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! A senile old relic indeed! You only drew some flames on the wall! A failed CPU like yours has no place in the world of Lord Mechalcanos! Other than in my belly!

Avi: …I need to stop doing this… *runs away*

Player 2: So you’re letting Wire Sponge Drinker die? Suit yourself, mother of the year! Prepare my Sponge dinner, clones!

*The clones cease their brawl, as they clear some room for Player 2 to claim his feast… as he leans over to chomp his prey, he notices something on the other end of the hallway–fire. Alarms begin to go off…*

Avi: *runs back onto the scene* Huff… found the kitchen… I did my part…

Player 2: Grrr… clones, continue the brawl! *they do so* This serves no problem. I’ll still be waiting here, while the fire catches up with YOU, Morph Moth Flicker!

Avi: Tell me… this… *is* a real fire this time, right?

Player 2: Why yes, my dear relic, it is.

Avi: Good.

Player 2: Heh heh heh… you seem so confident, but did you know that the Moth armor is weak against fire?

Avi: Um… phooey. But that’s a risk… worth taking… um, right?

Player 2: Pffft, REAL smart. You plan on trapping me in a burning building? HAH HAH HAH!!! *watches the flames spreading ever closer* I don’t mind my meals a *little* overdone, but–

**The sprinkler system goes off, not only dousing the flames, but dissolving the clones!**

Player 2: Wha… DAMN IT ALL!!

Avi: So, the senile old “relic” knew about the sprinklers, but the so-called “genius” didn’t.

Player 2: It… was just an oversight–*a sprinkler goes off over him!* N-NO!! MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP!!

Majin: *stumbles over to Player 2* lol ur a shark? Ur week to water??????? A SHARK!!! WEAK TO WATER!!!! *hic* LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

Player 2: No… I’m not… *scrunches up into a fetal position, as he continues to be showered by the sprinkler* NOOO!!! I’LL RUST!! I’LL *RUST!!!* HELL GOAT, HELP ME!!!

Avi: …wow.

Majin: dood srsly ure a shark.

Player 2: H… Heaven’s rain… I… no… NO!!! I CAN’T GO DOWN LIKE THIS! NOOOOOO!!! HELP ME, HELP MEEEEEEE!!! HELL GOAT, LORD MECHALCANOS!!!

Majin: I LOL IN URE FASE *wraps a Strike Chain around Player 2, and electrocutes him*

Player 2: SDJFLKSDJFSDLKJFdkslfjsdlkfjdsFDSJLFJDSLKflsdfjksl *falls over, sizzling in a puddle of water*

Avi: WE DID IT! *glomps Majin*

Majin: owch that may or may not be a lidl creepy

*Later, in the local park… The rain had cleared up, and dawn had began to break. Our two heroes take this time to reflect on their victory.*

Avi: Today was a pretty fun day. Being a butterfly is so much fun!

Majin: ur a moff not a butt fly

Avi: No one will ever care to learn the difference. I mean, I sure don’t! *finishes drawing a mustache on the unconscious Player 2’s face for no real reason* There we go!

Majin: itz is evil twin *buuuurrrrp* needz more tophat and monocle

Player 2: *waking up* …urgh… the storm… is it… over? *feels himself being hoist up into the air* Hm?!

Avi: *carries P2 into the sky* Hi again, sonny. I’d just like to thank you for making me a butterfly and/or moth. So… thanks!

Player 2: You… did you save me from the shower of heaven’s judgement? Heh heh… a move you will soon learn to regret… oh, yes… yes indeed…

Avi: Well… Majin did say something along these lines–a fish’s place is not to be cooped up in somebody’s tank. Or cult, speaking non-metaphorically. But rather, they should be set free to swim in the oceans, the streams, and… *drops Player 2* …the lakes.

Player 2: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa!!! HELL GOAT, LORD MECHALCANOS, AVENGE M–*splash!*

Avi: *lands beside Majin* YAY! Being a superhero is fun, I must admit! Is this like what you did with your friends, back in the day?

Majin: yus… me kinds a mistt them… even though their jerks in the end. >=( but crimefite is still cool yo

Avi: We could be the new… “Formation: Beach Invaders” or whatever they were called. I mean, being a superhero means publicity, and then… no more starving artist Avi!

Majin: hey wynaut letz dew eet!

Avi: Alright, it’s settled! Rawk on, Maj! *rawks*

Majin: …!!! Did u just…

Avi: I’m an artist in every sense of the word, kid. And rawking is an art form, is it not?

Majin: *hic* robble is ganna sue u cuz he sez only he and rudolf r allows to roke

Avi: Hahaha… right. Anyway… I guess we’d better get going. If things go the way one would expect them to… we may very well end up having to face this “Hell Goat” and “Mechalcanos,” wouldn’t you think?

Majin: mebe?

Avi: There’s one way to find out–TO ADVENTUUUUURE!~

Majin: 2 advenshure!!!11~ (…Mechalcanos…) *thinks back to Player 2’s comments…*

Player 2: And now, it is my life’s mission to find Mechalcanos… in one of you, Wire Sponge Drinker. One of you Code: Island Attackers!

Player 2: …negative. Your DNA does not match up with that of Lord Mechalcanos. You are not him. One of the other Island Attackers is, though…

Player 2: Any of the remaining five could be him… we are certain. It was foreseen by The Hell Goat himself… It won’t be long, heh heh heh.

Majin: to… advenshure…

The End…?

Monkey Madness

February 2, 2015

*Written by Shadowstrike*

*It had been one month since the CIA’s sudden break-up. With all of the members having gone their own way, it was a curious sight to see two unlikely members, still onboard the Whale King, stick together, for better or for worse…*

Shadowstrike: *singing* Oh, what a beautiful morning! Oh, what a beautiful day! I’ve got a wonderful feeling today’s going to be a–

Dark Knight: Hi.

Shadowstrike: …Miserable day…

Dark Knight: What are we doing?

Shadowstrike: Flying.

Dark Knight: Oh cool! Where are we going?

Shadowstrike: Wherever I want.

Dark Knight: Can we go to Disneyland?

Shadowstrike: No.

Dark Knight: Disney World?

Shadowstrike: Nope.

Dark Knight: EURO DISNEY?

Shadowstrike: No! I’ve decided that I am going to fulfill my life long dream now that the opportunity presents itself.

Dark Knight: Was this before or after you killed Rebel?

Shadowstrike: Mmm… after.

Dark Knight: And I thought I was messed up.

Shadowstrike: Shut your face.

Dark Knight: ‘Kay. So what dream is this?

Shadowstrike: To become a bounty hunter.

Dark Knight: At Disney Land?

Shadowstrike: Are you still on about that?

Dark Knight: Listen Shadow, my inner demon beckons this… If you know what’s good for you, YOU WILL TAKE ME TO DISNEY WORLD!! *eyes glow red*

Shadowstrike: Dude, calm down. Here… you fly; keep going straight. I’m going to go make breakfast. *leaves room*

Dark Knight: But it’s 3 in the afternoon! Oh well. *grabs the pilot’s wheel*

*Suddenly, there is a flash of bright light appears before DK, momentarily blinding him.*

Dark Knight: Hey! What the Hell? I’m flying here! *is grabbed* What the Hell, man!?

???: EEK! EEK!

Dark Knight: Shadow! Help!!

Shadowstrike: *in the kitchen* Makin’ french toast! Busy!

Dark Knight: OH DEAR GOD, THEY ARE PUTTING ME IN A BAG! OH GOD, NO!

Shadowstrike: Eatin’ french toast! Shut up!

*The chaos is quieted down as DK and his kidnappers disappear with another bright flash.*

Shadowstrike: …Good, he finally shut up. *walks back into the bridge * Aw God damn it, he wasn’t lying. And the ship is crashing. Well, it is Tuesday… *quickly grabs controls*

Man: *behind Shadow* This seems like a problem.

Shadowstrike: *turns around* Who in the Hell are you?

*The man did appear to be quite odd. Sporting mostly black and grey clothes, complete with shades that hide his eyes entirely from view, the only thing that noticeably stood out was his bright red hair, which half of which was shaved off, that jutted out to one side in a mess of spikes. The man himself, however, sported a great smile, trying to show he meant no harm.*

Man: They call me Cyphos, but please, no Mr. Cyphos! *hands him a card*

Shadowstrike: *looks at it* You work at a general store? How’d you get on this ship?

Cyphos: I have my ways of getting around, Mr. Shadowstrike!

Shadowstrike: How’d you know my name?

Cyphos: Oh, details, details… always with the details, Mr. Shadowstrike! *laughs* All you need to know is that I am here to help a good sir such as yourself out.

Shadowstrike: Really, like what?

Cyphos: Well, it seems your friend has been kidnapped.

Shadowstrike: Really? I thought he was just hiding.

Cyphos: Hahaha, that’s a good one, Mr. Shadowstrike! Now here’s another good one–it seems as though your friend was taken through time!

Shadowstrike: Why the Hell would they do that?

Cyphos: So he is even better hidden, of course!

Shadowstrike: Well then, nothing can be done. Let’s keep flying.

Cyphos: You don’t want to save him?

Shadowstrike: I have no way of time travel.

Cyphos: *laughs some more* Well, as I stated, I work for a general store… and we just so happen to carry some time machines!

Shadowstrike: …Wait, why have I never heard about this?

Cyphos: You’re obviously not with the times! *suddenly serious* Everyone has a time machine nowadays.

Shadowstrike: Ugh… so you’re going to con me into buying one, aren’t you?

Cyphos: How could you say that!? I am hurt, Mr. Shadowstrike. Look, I’ll do you a favor… and give you some coupons! *hands him a book*

Shadowstrike: *looks at it* This isn’t even for your store.

Cyphos: Whoops! My bad! *takes it back* We’ll just worry about the details later then, mm’kay?

Shadowstrike: Fine, whatever. But I still don’t trust you. What exactly are you doing here?

Cyphos: *raises hands up innocently* Oopsie-daisy! Well, allow me to explain then, good sir. The ones who kidnapped Mr. Dark Knight are monkeys.

Shadowstrike: Yep, and I’m a monkey’s uncle.

Cyphos: Well if you are, you could have fooled me! Regardless, those monkeys belonged to the store I work at.

Shadowstrike: And let me guess, you sell monkeys along with your time machine.

Cyphos: *serious* No, we just like monkeys.

Shadowstrike: …I see.

Cyphos: *smiling broadly* Anyway, the monkeys got loose, and stole some of the time machine equipment along with some other products for their own misuse. Using my monkey radar (which is also for sale at our store), I tracked them down to this location, and thus… here I am!

Shadowstrike: So let me get this straight… you work at a general store that sells time machines and monkey radars, and you keep a bunch of monkeys around because you like them, only for them to escape and get on board this ship somehow, which resulted in Dark Knight getting kidnapped and sent through time?

Cyphos: Hmm… that about sums it up, I’d say! *starts rubbing hands together* Now, will you please lend me your assistance?

Shadowstrike: I don’t know… I was busy eatin’ french toast…

Cyphos: Wellll… I heard that you were also interested in becoming a bounty hunter… Consider it training!

Shadowstrike: *exasperated* All right, fine. Just take me to one of your time machines.

Cyphos: Well, you are indeed in luck, Mr. Shadowstrike, for I came especially prepared and already set one up on the ship!

*Enthusiastically, Cyphos grabs Shadow and drags him to a lower level of the ship, into a room that was completely decked out with high tech equipment, and a strange pad in the middle.*

Shadowstrike: The Hell? I thought you said you just installed a time machine!

Cyphos: It’s not just a time machine… It’s a time STATION!! And all of this is yours for five easy payments of $39.99!

Shadowstrike: …Mr. Cyphos.

Cyphos: *serious* Oh, please, call me Cyphos, Mr. Shadowstrike. I hate formalities.

Shadowstrike: …Right. Well, I don’t remember ever agreeing to purchasing anything.

Cyphos: Then let’s just call this a free trial!

Shadowstrike: *facepalms*

Cyphos: Anyway, I will help monitor your progress from here while you go out there and catch some monkeys. I think this will make us quite the team!

Shadowstrike: What do I need to do now?

Cyphos: Let me see… first, you need to get some special weapons for this time travel!

Shadowstrike: Special weapons? Like what?

Cyphos: Well, here, have a look see! *weapons appear before Shadow *

Shadowstrike: Is this a butterfly net? Okay, I’ll use them somehow. Maybe I can be awesome with these. What do you want in return?

Cyphos: Don’t worry about that yet, Mr. Shadowstrike! *serious* We have more important things right now, do we not?

Shadowstrike: We do?

Cyphos: *smiling* Like saving your friend, Mr. Dark Knight?

Shadowstrike: We’re still doing that?

Cyphos: *laughs* You are!

Shadowstrike: I am?

Cyphos: Yes, yes you are!

Shadowstrike: Aw… okay. What do I do now?

Cyphos: Well, just stand on that platform in the middle and you will be teleported to the nearest time stream that Dark Knight is in.

Shadowstrike: I just step–*steps on the platform and disappears *

Cyphos: Thaaaaat’s right!

*In a prehistoric time, with dinosaurs and an active volcano…*

Shadowstrike: –here? Wait! What?! Where the hell am I?!

T-rex: *roars and charges *

Shadowstrike: Oh, god damn it! *runs off *

*A few hours later…*

Shadowstrike: Day 1, Time Stamp… unsure. Personal Log #1. I arrived here, crashed into the mud. I’m hiding in a tree and am unsure of my mission. Will look for Dark Knight in the morning. Will kick ass upon finding. End log.

*The next day…*

Shadowstrike: *yawns* All right, let’s go! *starts to run but trips on a wire* What the!?

???: EEK! EEK! *throws a net on Shadow*

Shadowstrike: Aw, god damn it! *cuts the net to pieces with a Sonic Slicer*

???: EEK! EEK! *knocks Shadow out with a boulder*

*Later…*

Shadowstrike: Ugh… this trip is fucking horrible.

Dark Knight: *in a cage* Told you we should have gone to Disney World!

Shadowstrike: YOU! I’ll KILL YOU! *tries to run but realizes he is chained*

???: Well, hello there, Ostrich Man.

Shadowstrike: The name is Shadowstrike, get it right.

???: I will call you Ostrich Man.

Shadowstrike: Call me that again and I will break your neck.

Dark Knight: I don’t know, Ostrich Man has a better ring to it.

Shadowstrike: *looks at Dark Knight* I’m not talking to you.

Dark Knight: But–

Shadowstrike: NOT.

Dark Knight: OSTRIC-

Shadowstrike: TALKING TO YOU!

???: Hello. I’m still here, can I finish my monologue?

Shadowstrike: Sure, go ahead.

???: Well, Ostrich Man, you are in the privilege of being in the presence of the new Supreme Being of the Universe!

Shadowstrike: Man, its Wednesday again, isn’t it?

???: Now, bow before your master… SPECTOR!

Shadowstrike: Nah, I’m gonna call you Monkey Man.

Dark Knight: Cos he’s the monkey, he’s the monkey man, really really really really monkey man!

Specter: Quiet, fool! *shocks DK*

Dark Knight: Ow! Since when do I get shocked!?

Shadowstrike: I like this guy.

Specter: Anyway, I know you were sent by that Cyphos fellow to capture me and my cohorts. But you will not succeed.

Shadowstrike: And what makes you say that?

Specter: One who knows nothing, understands nothing…

Dark Knight: Do tell. *shocked* Okay, going to shut up now…

Specter: Your simple presence here signifies that your fate, along with your crabby friend here, has been determined and sealed. Even if you somehow manage to stop me–

Shadowstrike: Yeah, yeah, I’m bored now. Can we just get this over with?

Specter: Tell you what: I’m feeling sporty, Ostrich Man. I’m going to release my minions into this jungle. If you manage to capture them all, I’ll release your friend. Now go, and make my day! Bwahahaha! *Shadow’s lock release*

Shadowstrike: Grr… I’ll get you for this Monkey Man! *runs off *

Dark Knight: So… um…

Specter: *shocks DK again*

Dark Knight: *knocked out*

*Out in the jungle…*

Shadowstrike: Got myself into a zany adventure here. Now how am I gonna capture some monkeys?

Cyphos: *voice* Why Mr. Shadowstrike, just use some of those time weapons I gave you!

Shadowstrike: Oh, hey there, Cyphos. What do you mean?

Cyphos: Well, I gave you a stun baton.

Shadowstrike: Aw, I thought this was a lightsabre.

Cyphos: And you also have a time net! Capture anything in that, and they will be transported here to the time station, where I will make short work of them!

Shadowstrike: Anything else?

Cyphos: *serious* I’m sure Mr. Shadowstrike doesn’t need anything else.

Shadowstrike: You’re right! These monkeys are done!

Cyphos: *laughs* That they are! Now get to it!

Shadowstrike: I’m so on this! *runs and trips on a banana peel* OW!

Monkey: EEK! EEEK! EEK!

Shadowstrike: OH, GET BACK HERE! *runs towards the monkey*

Monkey: EEEK! *helmet turns red and climbs a tree*

Shadowstrike: OH, NO YOU DON’T *is hit by a coconut* GRR! *another coconut* GRR!! *another coconut* …I’ll be back for you! *runs off*

Monkey: EEK! *Dances and falls off the tree*

*In another part of the jungle…*

Monkey: Eek, eek EEK! *sees a banana* EEEK!! *goes barreling towards the banana and gets caught in a leg rope trap* EEK!* reaches valiantly for the banana*

Shadowstrike: Haha! Got ya! *bashes him with the stun club* This is sooo therapeutic. Okay, sorry little buddy. *catches him in the time net, and he disappears *

Cyphos: Good job, Mr. Shadowstrike! You caught your first monkey!

Shadowstrike: And I ain’t done yet!

*In some ruined temples…*

Shadowstrike: Where the Hell did ruined temples come from? There’s a T-rex stomping around here for crying out loud.

Monkey: *wearing shades* EEK! *starts firing an uzi at Shadowstrike*

Shadowstrike: Aw, come on! An uzi? Damn, that means he can’t die. *dodges effortlessly* Still this is gonna suck–*gets shot in the foot*–OW! GOD DAMNIT! *throws a Sonic Slicer, slicing the uzi in half*

Monkey: EEK! EEEK! *runs towards Shadow, now wearing boxing gloves* EEK!

Shadowstrike: Oh, bring it on! *swings the stun club*

Monkey: EEK!

*The monkey catches stun club, and punches Shadowstrike in the face. He goes flying out of the ruins.*

Shadowstrike: God… damn it! *races in only to go flying out again* GOD DAMN IT! *does it again* GOD DAMN IT!! *one more time* Okay… okay. Calm it down. Calm it down. Let’s use my brain. *calmly walks into the ruins*

Monkey: EEEK! *charges and swings at Shadowstrike*

Shadowstrike: *parries with the stun club* Not this time.

Monkey: *punches and punches to no avail, each one being parried by the Stun Club* EEK! *steps back and does a charge swing *

Shadowstrike: *dodges and trips the monkey with the stun club*

Monkey: *falls and is stunned*

Shadowstrike: Nice try, primate! *catches the monkey in the time net*

Cyphos: Monkey get! Move on to the next one, Mr. Shadowstrike.

Shadowstrike: Heh. I plan on it!

*Later…*

Monkey: *wearing blue pants* EEK! *hops on a Triceratops*

Shadowstrike: How… how the Hell am I gonna…

Monkey: EEK! *points at Shadow and the triceratops starts to charge towards him*

Shadowstrike: God damn it! *runs*

Monkey: EEK EEK EEK!

Shadowstrike: Gotta time this right… *jumps and throws the monkey net backwards*

Monkey: EEEK!! *is captured*

*Upon capturing the monkey, the triceratops suddenly calms down and begins eating some grass.*

Shadowstrike: Phew. That could have gone worse. *just then another monkey appears* You again! *runs*

Monkey: EEK! EEK! *grabs time net and runs up his tree*

Shadowstrike: GOD DAMNIT! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! OH, YOU ARE SO DONE! *tries to jump up the three but is bashed on the head by a coconut* Okay, time for the smart idea. *throws a Sonic Slicer and chops down the tree*

Monkey: EEK!! *is knocked out by the tree falling down*

Shadowstrike: I’ll take that back. *grabs the time net and catches the monkey*

Cyphos: Great job, Mr. Shadowstrike! There is only one monkey left to catch!

Shadowstrike: Heh, not for much longer! *runs off*

*In a deep valley…*

Shadowstrike: All right, there’s the last monkey… and he’s riding a T-rex… grrreeeeaaaat…

Monkey: EEK! *the monkey makes the T-rex charge towards Shadow*

Shadowstrike: Shit! *runs, but trips and gets cornered* Oh, I would trip now! Damn it!

T-rex: GRWARRRR!! *charges towards the downed Shadowstrike*

Shadowstrike: Well, this has been fun. *readys a Sonic Slicer* I’ll make sure he chokes.

*Right as the T-rex is about to slam into Shadow another T-rex stops him, pushing him aside!*

Shadowstrike: What?! Oh, it’s that one from before…

T-rex #2: ROARRR!! *slams his tail into the other T-rex and the monkey goes flying into the cliff wall and is embedded*

Shadowstrike: Now’s my chance! *dashes off towards the monkey and catches it* Hell yeah! *strikes a pose* Mission Complete! *power slides and hears a large crash* Oh man! What happened with those T-rexes?

T-rex #2: *stands over the other fallen T-rex and looks at Shadow* ROARRR!!

Shadowstrike: Aw… come on…

*Back at Spector’s Lair…*

Dark Knight: I’m warnin’ ya! You better let me out now or you’ll have to suffer the wrath of THE DEMON WITHIN ME!! OOOooooOOOooooOOOHHH!!

Specter: … *shocks DK*

Dark Knight: Ow…

Specter: Hmm… It would seem that all of my minions have been removed from the area. Your companion did a fine job.

Dark Knight: Yeah, but I probably could have done it better. Then I could have kicked your ass back to Kentucky!

Specter: Ugh… you are too loud. *shocks DK again*

Dark Knight: STOP THAT!!

Specter: Honestly, at this point I am hoping your friend will show up so I can do away with you. I have many plans and it doesn’t involve playing games with a crab and ostrich.

Dark Knight: What kind of plans?

Specter: Like… TAKING OVER THE UNIVERSE!!

Bison: OF COURSE!!

Specter: How did you get here? I don’t remember letting you in! Get out of my sight!

Bison: Fine, whatever. *cough* Asshole. *cough*

Specter: *watching him leave* Now, let’s try that again…

Dark Knight: OF CO–*shocked yet again*–IT WAS A JOKE, SHEESH!!

Specter: Once more, I–*the ground starts shaking* What is that noise?

Dark Knight: Iunno.

*The shaking increases, as the walls starts to rattle, threatening to crumble apart! Then finally, at the last minute, the door breaks wide open, revealing…*

Shadowstrike: *riding the T-rex* MONKEY MAAAAAN!!

Dark Knight: *cowering* We’re all going to die!

Specter: *unphased* Oh good, it’s you. You couldn’t have arrived a moment sooner. *frees Dark Knight* Take your friend and go… or better yet, I’ll do it myself. Universe to conquer and all that. *begins to leave*

Shadowstrike: OH NO YOU WON’T!

*The T-rex swings his tail at Spector, knocking him into the air.*

Specter: This is QUITE a BOTHER! *lands back on his feet and raises his hand*

Shadowstrike and T-rex: *hit by an unseen force* Ugh!

Specter: Now I will TAKE my leave and you will WATCH as your UNIVERSE is torn ASUNDER!

Dark Knight: Not so fast! *hits Spector with a volley of bubbles*

Specter: Grah! Cheeky crab! Perhaps it was a mistake letting you out of your cage so soon. No matter. *blasts DK back with his powers*

Dark Knight: Whoa! *hits the wall* Urgh…

Specter: I have no time for this monkey business. I have many things to do! Busy, busy, busy! *turns to leave*

Shadowstrike: *slowly getting back up* I… don’t… think so…! *throws the stun club*

Specter: *turns around and knocks it out of the way*

Dark Knight: *gets hit with it* Owch!

Specter: Fool. You should have learned by now that there is no hope for you to win! *hits Shadow with more force*

Shadowstrike: Oogh! *gets pressed back*

Specter: *walking toward Shadow* I will gladly crush every bone in your body, Ostrich Man!

Shadowstrike: For the last time… it’s… Shadowstrike!

Specter: OSTRICH MAN!!

*The scene continues as Shadow screams in pain, as Spector applies more force, with the intent on crushing him.*

Specter: And now, with this, I will prove to you why I am the dominant force in the universe–*gets clobbered upside the head*

Dark Knight: *holding the stun club* …

Shadowstrike: *gasping for breath* …

Dark Knight: …So…

Shadowstrike: GIVE ME THAT!! *takes the club and bashes DK over the head with it*

Dark Knight: Ow! What was that for?

Shadowstrike: I was supposed to be the hero of this story!

Dark Knight: Oh… well, you can still capture him.

Shadowstrike: Meh, I guess. *captures Spector with the time net*

Cyphos: Good work, Mr. Shadowstrike! And I see Mr. Dark Knight is safe, too!

Dark Knight: Who is that?

Shadowstrike: Cyphos. He’s a cool dude.

Cyphos: Please, I am not worthy of such words! Now, should I teleport you all back to the time station?

Shadowstrike: As long as we bring my bud! *points at the T-rex*

T-rex: *slowly gets back up and roars*

Dark Knight: …A T-rex? Really?

Shadowstrike: His name is Shepard. Isn’t it Shepard? *pats Shepard on the head*

Shepard: *roars happily*

Cyphos: All righty, then. Teleporting you all back!

Shadowstrike: Go for it!

Cyphos: Right away, Mr. Shadowstrike! *a bright flash and the three are back in the time station*

Shadowstrike: Thanks Cyphos. We really appreciate your help.

Cyphos: Oh, not a problem at all! I do love to lend a helping hand! Plus we captured Spector and the rest of those no-good monkeys. I’m certain that peace will soon be restored to the world!

Dark Knight: If you say so.

Cyphos: But I do! But please… *gets serious* I hope you will consider purchasing a time machine.

Shadowstrike: After all of this you still want to sell one!?

Cyphos: But of course I do! What kind of salesman would I be to let a little old thing like the fate of the entire universe prevent me from selling products! Hahaha!

Dark Knight: He’s got a point.

Shadowstrike: Quiet, you.

Cyphos: Anyway, with this I believe I shall bid you gentlemen farewell. *nods* Mr. Shadowstrike; Mr. Dark Knight.

*With that Cyphos begins to walk away, leaving the two adventurers alone.*

Shadowstrike: …You know, he left all of that time equipment here.

Dark Knight: Eh, could be worse. *pauses* It just isn’t the same…

Shadowstrike: Go cry more.

Dark Knight: I won’t if we go to Tokyo DisneySea.

Shadowstrike: Enough with the Disney already!

Dark Knight: INNER DEMON!!

Shadowstrike: I DON’T CARE.

Dark Knight: Hmph. Fine. At least I can go play with the dino. *goes to pet Shepard but he chases him around the station* AAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT THE HELL!?

Shadowstrike: Oh yeah, I trained him to do that. Isn’t he just the best dinosaur?

Shepard: ROAAAR!!

The End

Series Five Prologue

January 30, 2015

*Written by Rebel4000*

*Note: These are going to be the last few epilogues for the C:IA. Series five was never completed. I still have some extra content we did  but after that we will have to say farewell to the Code: Island Attackers*

*It had been several months since the CIA managed to finally defeat Yuber. Although such an event had caused much relief and even celebration, due to the CIA losing Void Darkheart to events prior caused tensions to run extremely high, resulting in such feelings to be short-lived. It was due to this that a decision was finally met…*

Sean: *packing his belongings when he hears a knock on the door* Come in!

Outlaw: *enters* Heya Sean buddy.

Sean: Oh… hey Outlaw.

Outlaw: Um… you sure you really want to do this?

Sean: …Yeah. The team hasn’t really been the same since Void left… and we haven’t really accomplished much since Yuber.

Outlaw: Well, I’m not certain if the others will say it, but I will miss you, man.

Sean: Same here… I hope the modifications I made on the hyper forms will help, though.

Outlaw: I’m surprised you actually did it. I mean, it was Void’s greatest invention. Kinda seems like we are erasing his memory almost by doing so…

Sean: It was Rebel’s idea. I wasn’t really keen on it, but he pretty much FORCED me to do it. Which is another reason why I’m leaving.

Outlaw: Don’t let boss bug’s words get to ya, Sean.

Sean: No, I’m serious, Outlaw. He has really gone down the drain and his behavior is really unacceptable. Plus getting shocked every single hour is starting to really get on my nerves.

Outlaw: Yeah… sorry ’bout that…

Sean: Eh, there really isn’t much need to apologize. You’ve never purposefully tried to activate my curse, anyway. But I am serious about Rebel, though; he’s become extremely moody and to be honest, I’m actually scared to even be near him. Like, he could snap at any moment over anything.

Outlaw: …

Sean: Anyway, I am pretty much done packing. I think I will let myself off…

Outlaw: Okay…

*The team had slowly started to break away, one by one. The even worse part was, no one really seemed to care… save for Outlaw.*

Outlaw: *in front of Rebel’s room* Here we go… *enters* Boss bug…?

Rebel: *watching TV with a Coke in hand* …

Outlaw: Boss bug, ya there?

Rebel: …What?

Outlaw: Um… Sean left.

Rebel: Hmph, that so? Well good riddance. We don’t need a loser like him anyway. *drinks Coke*

Outlaw: C’mon man, don’t say that! We shouldn’t be letting people go like this! Dark Knight has already disappeared… he didn’t even give a warning. Now Sean… We should do something to get the team motivated again.

Rebel: *annoyed* Like what?

Outlaw: Like, uh… fight crime? Like we used to do–

Rebel: Outlaw.

Outlaw: Yeah?

Rebel: I think I’m tired of fighting crime.

Outlaw: What?

Rebel: I’m tired of it. I don’t want anything to do with it.

Outlaw: But you haven’t even tried doing so! Ever since Yuber you’ve lost all of your drive and motivation to do anything!

Rebel: Because I got my revenge… and that’s all I needed. So now I’m done.

Outlaw: Void would be sad to hear this–

Rebel: Don’t you dare mention that damn name to me!

Outlaw: …Sorry…

Rebel: Ugh… *drinks Coke* Just get out.

Outlaw: But boss bug…

Rebel: I said get out! Leave me alone.

Outlaw: Fine…

*A few days later…*

Rebel: He WHAT!?

Metabad: Outlaw flew the coop, dude. He just said he was gonna “live the dream” and hopped off the ship.

Rebel: That… damn traitor! How could he!? I WILL KILL HIM!!

Majin: burrrrp dont werry 2 much bout it rrrreb

Rebel: Majin, shut the Hell up! You stupid drunk!

Majin: rooooo…

Metabad: Whoa, no need to be so angry, dude. Rawkers have no need for teh angerz, remember?

Rebel: Metabad, you shut up too!

Metabad: B-but we’re rawk buddies… of the Super Awesome Fighting Force–

Rebel: SCREW THE SUPER AWESOME FIGHTING FORCE!!

Metabad: Wha… what…?

Rebel: Jesus, you are so annoying sometimes! I can’t believe I even bothered picking you up when we were searching for replacements*!

*See Series 2, Epilogue #22 “Dissed in the Digital World (part 2)”

Majin and Metabad: …

Rebel: Replacements… yeah, that’s what all of you guys are! Just some stupid replacements! Well I don’t need you! I DON’T NEED ANY OF YOU!!

Shadowstrike: *enters the room* ALL OF YOU BE QUIET, I’M TRYING TO PILOT!!

Rebel: WHO’RE YOU YELLING AT!?

Metabad: HEY DON’T YELL AROUND ME!!

Majin: WAZ DIS BOUT YO!?

Rebel: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TWO TO SHUT IT!?

Shadowstrike: Reb, don’t you even DARE tell us what to do! I’ve had it up to HERE with your mouth! *gestures*

Rebel: Oh yeah!? Well too bad! I’ll say whatever I wanna say ’cause this is MY ship!

Metabad: I thought it was all ours?

Rebel: Hah, like I’d give you guys anything!? Don’t make me laugh!

Majin: im a sad majin… rooo…

Rebel: So yeah, this is MY ship and if you don’t like it, then why don’t you all just the Hell out?

Shadowstrike: Why should WE get out? If anything you’re the one who is most deserving!

Rebel: Didn’t you just hear!? I said this was my ship! So it belongs to me! M-E!

Shadowstrike: Not if I force you out!

Rebel: Say what–

Shadowstrike: *grabs Rebel*

Majin and Metabad: !?

Rebel: *gets lifted off the ground* Wh-what the Hell are you doing!? I’m your leader… you can’t do this to me…!

Shadowstrike: Oh, shut up. *opens an emergency door*

Rebel: *feels the air pull* Sh-Shadow… Wait a second! Think about what you are doing!

Shadowstrike: Oh, I know perfectly well what I’m doing… *let’s go of Rebel*

Rebel: *gets sucked out of the ship* NOOOOOOoooo…

Shadowstrike: THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR MAKING FUN OF ME AND MY BUCKETS!! *closes the door*

Metabad: D-dude… did you just kill Rebel!?

Majin: me a scared widdle spongey-wungey

Shadowstrike: Who the heck cares if I killed him or not? I sure don’t!

Metabad: But that was totally unrawkin’! It was like… everything that was not rawkin’, rolled into a ball!

Shadowstrike: Man, are you still talking about rawkin’ after all this!? What the Hell is wrong with you!?

Metabad: GOOD SIR, I DO NOT APPROVE OF YOUR ACTIONS!! *turns to leave*

Shadowstrike: Where are you going!?

Metabad: To find Reb. I dunno about you, but I’m not ready to give up on him! *leaves*

Shadowstrike: Fine, then leave. AT LEAST I STILL HAVE MAJIN!! Right, Majin?

Majin: FLIPPERS WAIT FOR TEH PORCUPINES *starts flopping like a fish and leaves*

Shadowstrike: M-Majin!?

*And like that, the members of the CIA had all gone their own ways, none of them looking back. The only person who appeared to stay onboard the Whale King was Shadow, who simply walked back to the controls to steer the ship.*

Shadowstrike: …So, this is how it ends, huh? Never thought it would be so… quiet.

Dark Knight: *falls through the ventilation shaft* Finally found that damn sock! It eluded me for WEEKS!!

Shadowstrike: God damn it.

The End